WEBVTT - I Was Miserable On Father's Day, Until... 

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody's still Courtney with an army of normal folks. Shop

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<v Speaker 1>Talk number fifty six. That's a big one. That was aggressive.

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<v Speaker 1>It was an aggressive one. I'm glad you're still alive.

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<v Speaker 1>I got a question, your teeth feel still feel good?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I mean you went to the dust last week. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we're recording this at the same time we recorded last week,

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<v Speaker 1>so you're a trying to be cute about it. Not

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<v Speaker 1>the time stamp and there you are a producer stamp

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<v Speaker 1>timing guy. All right, guys, Shop Talk number fifty six

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<v Speaker 1>is on something that is a one time it had

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<v Speaker 1>been a quandary for me, and at other times it

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<v Speaker 1>was just great. Now it's great, and it's basically called

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<v Speaker 1>I was miserable on Father's Day until I'll set it

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<v Speaker 1>up for you right after these brief messages from our

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<v Speaker 1>general sponsors, everybody, welcome back shop Talk number fifty six.

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<v Speaker 1>June fifteenth is Father's Day, and I have a special

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<v Speaker 1>Father's Day message that we've featured on our YouTube channel,

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<v Speaker 1>which you need to go check out our YouTube channel

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<v Speaker 1>and subscribe to it. But I'll just set it up

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<v Speaker 1>for you real quick. Basically, Father's Day, given the way

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<v Speaker 1>I grew up. It's all on the video. I know

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<v Speaker 1>the Father's Day, given the way I grew up against

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<v Speaker 1>the winds of being a father of four children, and

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<v Speaker 1>my struggle with the beauty of what I have now

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<v Speaker 1>versus some of the dysfunction I dealt with as a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>has always been a quandary in my life. And in

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<v Speaker 1>honor of all of you who have fathers, our fathers,

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<v Speaker 1>celebrate a father, love a father, or even wish they

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<v Speaker 1>had a dad and missed their father, this clip and

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<v Speaker 1>this shop Talk number fifty six is for you. My

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<v Speaker 1>dad left home when I was four, and we really

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have much of a relationship. He actually passed not

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<v Speaker 1>too long ago, and it was my stepbrother that actually

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<v Speaker 1>told me, and I had nothing to do with it.

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<v Speaker 1>We had no relationship, and there were a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>there are a lot of My mother was very well intentioned,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to make it sound like she's evil,

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<v Speaker 1>but there were a lot of guys after that that

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<v Speaker 1>came into my life, and there are a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>guys that left, and so as a result, Father's Day

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<v Speaker 1>has always been a really kind of sore spot for me.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even recognize it, but in my early forties,

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<v Speaker 1>Lisa pointed out to me, more than pointed out, very frustratingly, said,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, quit being an a soul on Father's Day.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not about you anymore. You have your own children

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<v Speaker 1>and now you are a father. So I know. You

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<v Speaker 1>can't celebrate Father's Day from a standpoint of celebrating a father,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can you can celebrate Father's Day from the

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<v Speaker 1>standpoint of being a father. And I didn't even recognize

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<v Speaker 1>that I got miserable on Father's Day, but I but

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<v Speaker 1>I did. And and the truth is, you know, I identified

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<v Speaker 1>as a kid. Now I identify with the kids of

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<v Speaker 1>a nassis a lot more closely than I identified with

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<v Speaker 1>my own children. In terms of my reality, I understand

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<v Speaker 1>growing up without a father. I understand the kind of

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<v Speaker 1>hopelessness and sadnessness that accompanies not having a father in

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<v Speaker 1>your life and all that that entails. And I understand

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<v Speaker 1>the sadness, and I understand that when you're a fourteen

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<v Speaker 1>fifteen year old, strapping guy and you look at the

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<v Speaker 1>mirror and your father has no interest in you. I

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<v Speaker 1>understand look in the mirror and thinking something must be

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<v Speaker 1>wrong with me. You know, why is it that I

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<v Speaker 1>lack such value that my own father doesn't even want

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<v Speaker 1>to spend time with me, especially on Father's Day. And

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<v Speaker 1>I thought that for many years, and I know many

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<v Speaker 1>of the kids have played football for me. I an

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<v Speaker 1>Asses fought that for many years. And so on the

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<v Speaker 1>one hand, you see a grown man with a business

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<v Speaker 1>and some success and been married to his wife for

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<v Speaker 1>thirty years, and these beautiful four children who've grown up

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<v Speaker 1>well adjusted and happy and healthy, and you think, oh, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I know what that guy's life looks like. But the

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<v Speaker 1>truth is, you don't have no idea the trauma that

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<v Speaker 1>preceded the life that I have now. And as a

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<v Speaker 1>result of that, people have always asked me, how do

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<v Speaker 1>you think you connected so well with the kids of

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<v Speaker 1>an Asses, being this white business guy. And the truth is,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't identify as a white business guy, identify as

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<v Speaker 1>a kid that came from him a lot of trauma.

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<v Speaker 1>And so the truth is not really understand them more

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<v Speaker 1>and their reality more than I understand my own kids

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<v Speaker 1>reality because I didn't grow up like my kids did,

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<v Speaker 1>so it took a lot of work to get to

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<v Speaker 1>a place that Father's Day is a happy day around

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<v Speaker 1>my house. But Lisa Whipmack's into shape like she normally does.

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<v Speaker 1>And now we have good Father's Days, but it took

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<v Speaker 1>a long time to get there. So that's shop talk

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<v Speaker 1>number fifty six. I hope Father's Day is as meaningful

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<v Speaker 1>to all of you as it is to me, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you'll think about the power that fathers can

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<v Speaker 1>and should have been in their children's lives. That's shop

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<v Speaker 1>talk number fifty six. Hey, and you're close to becoming

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<v Speaker 1>a grandpa. Maybe next year do you think will be?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, ain't nobody pregnant yet? Yeah? But by next

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<v Speaker 1>Father's Day, do you think anybody's gonna be pregnant? Maybe,

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<v Speaker 1>But then we'll be talking about grandparents Day. Yeah. I

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<v Speaker 1>guess that's hoptoten hum fifty six. We'll talk to you

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<v Speaker 1>next week. H