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Speaker 1: Kutbooms.

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Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes

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Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants

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Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He

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Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the

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Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse

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Speaker 2: of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth

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Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

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Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben

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Speaker 1: Maller and Danny G Radio a happy college football Saturday

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Speaker 1: in a wonderful It's also a Benny Versus the Penny

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Speaker 1: kind of a day to day as well. If you

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Speaker 1: have not watched Benny Versus the Penny yet on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: check that out. It's YouTube dot com slash at Bennyvspenny.

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Speaker 1: But it's all about this podcast right now and Danny

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Speaker 1: G is hanging out with me as we celebrate National

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Speaker 1: Peanut Day today, So please celebrate appropriately today September thirteenth.

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Speaker 1: We know what you like to do with nuts. I

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Speaker 1: rotate nuts. I don't know what you're talking about. There's

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Speaker 1: great protein and fiber in peanuts and they're not actually nuts, right,

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Speaker 1: they're not actually nuts. They're not in the what are

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Speaker 1: they the goomes? Is that what they are? They're not

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Speaker 1: They're not nuts, right, nuts are like all men's walnuts,

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Speaker 1: that's nuts. These are just something else. But anyway, it

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Speaker 1: is National Peanut Day today on this podcast, we've got

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Speaker 1: Rod Serling hit the showers and the bed and breakfast returns,

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Speaker 1: So a lot to get to and then we'll all

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Speaker 1: go our separate ways and I guess we'll watch college football. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was going to say, lay on the couch and

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Speaker 3: scratch our privates.

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Speaker 1: Yes, No, this is a big day, Danny, because not

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Speaker 1: only we have college football today and it's not an

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Speaker 1: amazing day of college football. That's okay. We got to

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Speaker 1: wait a little longer for the really good matchups in

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Speaker 1: college football. There's a couple of games that caught my attention.

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Speaker 1: But then we got a boxing match tonight.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Canelo Crawford, Yeah, in Vegas. So I'm looking forward

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Speaker 3: to that. I'm actually gonna have a friend over. We're

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Speaker 3: gonna have a little uh prop no gambling for we

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Speaker 3: wronged to gamble on a fight, Dan. You should never

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Speaker 3: gamble on a fight a Netflix, right, so everybody gets

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Speaker 3: a chance to see it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, not your usual I believe you're Craig. Not your

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Speaker 1: usual nonsense. I'm austrailing. What game am I most excited

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Speaker 1: to watch today in? I mean, I guess Georgia, Tennessee

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Speaker 1: would probably be it, right, that's what is that? Twelve

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Speaker 1: thirty our time, three thirty in the East. I think

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Speaker 1: that's it. Oh in the South Florida, Miami. I don't

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Speaker 1: live in Florida, but that's not.

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Speaker 3: A bad matchup. Yeah, So the top twenty five team

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Speaker 3: LSU game is going to be fun. And on Covino

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Speaker 3: and Rich's show Friday, we talked about that sixty six

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Speaker 3: year old tuba player.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh did you see that guy? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Pretty cool, the oldest person that's not dead almost on

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Speaker 3: the band there in the middle of the field. This

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Speaker 3: guy is gonna be in a motorized scooter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well why not? What the hell? And then and

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Speaker 1: then later on I Notre Name, I don't know, that's

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Speaker 1: Notre Name is playing Texas A and M. I I

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Speaker 1: might if I'm still around by that point, if I'm

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Speaker 1: not passed out by then, I got to take a

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Speaker 1: nap before the boxing thing, so I might have to.

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Speaker 1: I acsually don't take naps, but anyway, listen, let's get

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Speaker 1: to it. So I had one of those moments this

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Speaker 1: past week, Danny, that I the kind of thing that

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Speaker 1: makes you wonder if you've officially crossed over into old

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Speaker 1: man territory, like yelling at the clouds type that portion

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Speaker 1: of your life the chapter or talking about naps. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: I don't normally nap, but the show. Let me just

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Speaker 1: paint the picture for you as you consume this podcast.

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Speaker 1: So the show was wrapped, I was sitting in the

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Speaker 1: remote studio at the Malor Mansion, sending out some show notes,

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Speaker 1: trying to get myself together, and then I reached to

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Speaker 1: my left, my left hand side, and I reached over

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Speaker 1: to grab my phone. And then I was going to

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Speaker 1: walk out of the remote studio. So I reached over

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Speaker 1: to grab my phone and I didn't feel it, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, that's kind of weird. I know

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Speaker 1: I left it there. I have one hundred percent left

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Speaker 1: it there and so and then I said, well, maybe

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Speaker 1: it dropped, but it wasn't there. So I checked on

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Speaker 1: the floor, I checked everywhere else on the desk, I

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Speaker 1: moved some papers. There's some Kleenex box here on the desk.

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Speaker 1: I moved that around and I could not find it. It

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Speaker 1: was gone. It was a Houdini. It advanished. Now keep

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Speaker 1: in mind, though, the part of this story which was

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Speaker 1: amazing to me, is that I have I'm not bragging.

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Speaker 1: My wife got me an Apple Watch. So I have

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Speaker 1: an Apple Watch, which is supposed to be Danny idiot proof.

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Speaker 1: You should never ever lose your phone when you have

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Speaker 1: an Apple Watch, because you press the magic button and

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Speaker 1: then your phone will start beeping, even if it's on

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Speaker 1: silent mode, your phone will start beeping like a submarine sonar.

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Speaker 1: Then just go to it. It's it's wonderful, it's I have.

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Speaker 1: I haven't ever lost my phone since I got this watch.

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Speaker 1: It's great. It's full. It's full. Oh, it was just

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Speaker 1: you took the words out of my mouth. That's it's

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Speaker 1: fool proof. You you know what I'm talking about, Danny.

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Speaker 1: It's perfect. So uh so it's fool proof except when

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Speaker 1: it is it. So yeah, I thought, i I'm like,

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Speaker 1: left hand side. I grabbed one there and so then

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Speaker 1: I'm moving stuff around, futson around, couldn't find it. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, all right, whatever, and so so then I

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Speaker 1: pressed the button on the watch. I'm like, all right,

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Speaker 1: well listen, I'll beep and i'll get it in two seconds.

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Speaker 1: And then it said something I'd never seen before in

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Speaker 1: the watch. It said feature not available. So I pressed

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Speaker 1: it again because surely this was like a cosmic typo

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Speaker 1: type thing and it must be a mistake. So the

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Speaker 1: same thing. So then I did a third time, because

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Speaker 1: I think that's the rule of comedy, right, you have

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Speaker 1: to do things three times. Everything goes in threes, three

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Speaker 1: stooges or whatever. So I press it again and the

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Speaker 1: dame watch is the feature not available. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh man, it's like maybe my battery on my phone

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Speaker 1: died and I thought it was charged, but maybe it

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Speaker 1: wasn't charged. Then I'll go on this, I'll go around

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Speaker 1: and I'll find it. And I was trying to like

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Speaker 1: retrace my steps, and I was like, where have I

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Speaker 1: hadn't been that many places and I knew I had

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Speaker 1: the phone. So and then at some point, like panics

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Speaker 1: start setting in, Like I go on this scavenger hunt

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Speaker 1: through the through the Malor mansion like a lunatic, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going through every room, every nook and cranny, and

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Speaker 1: I am now convinced that I've entered the twilight zone.

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Speaker 1: Like Rod Serling was going to pop out Danny behind

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Speaker 1: the laundry basket with a cigarette and explain to me.

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Speaker 1: The Malard phone slipped into another dimension of time and space,

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Speaker 1: the same dimension like you know, your socks go when

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Speaker 1: you lose your sock, like that kind of thing, and

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Speaker 1: so so where and so. Then thirty minutes later or so,

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Speaker 1: I was totally defeated by this point, so I'd given up,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, crap, it's gonna have

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Speaker 1: to get a new phone. It's gonna cost me, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, eight hundred bucks or whatever. His phones are ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, all right, I'll go to the

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Speaker 1: I went to the fridge to get some water, and

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Speaker 1: I put the cup in to grab the water things

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Speaker 1: on the inside of the fridge. So I put the

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Speaker 1: water thing in the cup to get the water, and

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Speaker 1: I'm getting the water, and then I look in the

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Speaker 1: fridge and then eureka, there it is. My phone was

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Speaker 1: sitting between like a can of Seltzer and a bag

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Speaker 1: of garlic. What the hell? Yeah, yeah, So the phone

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Speaker 1: was perfectly comfortable chilling, like it belonged there, Like it

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Speaker 1: was like something I bought at the grocery store. And

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Speaker 1: I realized, like I in a hurry, you know, doing

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Speaker 1: the remote show. I'm running around, and I went to

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Speaker 1: get some water, and I guess I had I needed

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Speaker 1: my hand, and I put my I somehow put the

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Speaker 1: phone in the fridge, and then I was in such

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Speaker 1: a hurry I just ran up to you know, to

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Speaker 1: the studio to do the show, and then I forgot

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Speaker 1: about it. And the amazing part of the story, though, Danny,

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Speaker 1: is that this thing works fine. It's it's and it

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Speaker 1: didn't work right away, like it was literally I had

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Speaker 1: to let it warm up a little bit, but it

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Speaker 1: didn't really have the sniffles or and I it warmed

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Speaker 1: up and it carried on like nothing had happened. I

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Speaker 1: was amazed.

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Speaker 3: Much better than accidentally setting it down inside a fireplace.

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Speaker 1: I know. No if I I was thinking to same thing,

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Speaker 1: if I have like baking cookies and you know Bandy

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Speaker 1: Crocker and I put some cookies in as let me

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Speaker 1: just put this thing down like on the top of

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Speaker 1: the stove. Yeah, I forget they would be gone. So

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Speaker 1: the the other question is What does this mean? Right?

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Speaker 1: What does this mean? I guess I'm old, I'm a klutz,

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Speaker 1: I'm a distracted and income poop like, I'm all of that.

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Speaker 1: I guess all of the above. And so anyway, listen.

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Speaker 1: Technology is supposed to save us from ourselves. But no

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Speaker 1: amount of Apple innovation, the IWA Apple Watch and all

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Speaker 1: that stuff can prevent you from from somehow forgetting to

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Speaker 1: put your phone in the fridge. The other thing about that,

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Speaker 1: I learned that your phone will not work if it's

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Speaker 1: in the fridge is so thick and powerful, Danny, that

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Speaker 1: the signal does not reach your it does not go

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Speaker 1: through the doors of the refrigerator. So I did learn

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Speaker 1: that from this.

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Speaker 3: Little Yeah exeren, Wow, your fridge is like Fort Knox.

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Speaker 3: I guess it is.

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Speaker 1: And so tomorrow I guess it's the car keys will

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Speaker 1: be in the dishwasher or something like that. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: do that today. I have that to look forward to.

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Speaker 1: So we'll move on with that. But that was my

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Speaker 1: run in with Rod Serling. You ever have that happen, Danny,

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Speaker 1: where you think you're in a like a twilight zone,

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Speaker 1: or you think there's some kind of other dimension that

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Speaker 1: crossed over and grab some of your stuff and moved it,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I didn't do that. As like that.

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Speaker 3: Now, once in a while, I'll put my phone down

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Speaker 3: in a hurry to pick CoA up, or there's something

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Speaker 3: going on at the house where I have bags of

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Speaker 3: groceries or something like that, and then I go back

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Speaker 3: to the spot where I know I set it down,

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Speaker 3: and it's not there. And I think we get confused

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Speaker 3: in our own minds because because it's the spot where

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Speaker 3: I put it the last time I set my phone down.

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Speaker 3: So we're like a step behind ourselves sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I used to lose. I used to lose

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Speaker 1: like a for why I would lose stuff all the time.

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Speaker 1: And so I have been a creature of habit. I've

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Speaker 1: learned to put stuff. I put the keys back in

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Speaker 1: the same spot, I put my wallet in the same

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Speaker 1: spot when I come into the house, I put the

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Speaker 1: phone in the same place. And so yeah, but this

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Speaker 1: was obviously I had I had a brain fart, and

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Speaker 1: it it vanished wherever it ended up. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I guess it was time for me to hit the showers, Danny.

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Speaker 1: It was time for me to go go hit the shower.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, do you shower by yourself? I know it's a

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Speaker 3: personal question.

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Speaker 1: Generally that is a one person operation. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever pulled the move where you told a girl, Hey,

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Speaker 3: you know what, let's save water and let's shower together.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's usually something that would happen very early in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, Danny the Yeah, it may or may not

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Speaker 1: have happened back, but not to save water. I think

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Speaker 1: for other reasons. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Water. So Thursday evening, we are sitting around the dinner table,

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Speaker 3: Brenda revealed something which I thought was very interesting. Now

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Speaker 3: I know our listeners love the story back in the

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Speaker 3: day about how she got the hot stone treatment upper

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Speaker 3: butt crack during that massage.

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Speaker 1: That is a fan favorite. Danny, Yeah, love that podcast.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well I'm still finding out things about her and

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Speaker 3: her body. Oh, we got wings from Costco, which is

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Speaker 3: something a little different. We don't normally like put wings

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Speaker 3: in our oven, and they came out pretty good. Costco

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Speaker 3: wings aren't bad.

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Speaker 1: So these are the pre made in the deli wings.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, pretty good. So we we had wings

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Speaker 3: in football on Thursday night. So as we're watching the

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Speaker 3: Packers on fire, she mentioned something about saving water with

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Speaker 3: showering because our fourteen year old went up to shower.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't care about the football game. And Brenda's said,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I used to shower with my girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: Hi, And I said, oh, wait a minute, this changes things?

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Speaker 3: Yes, all right, yeah, I said, come again, what was that?

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Speaker 3: How old were you, guys? I don't know, sixth seventh

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Speaker 3: eighth grade. Maybe this is just a huge difference between

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Speaker 3: men and women because us men when we were kids,

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Speaker 3: we didn't take showers obviously with our friends. But is

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Speaker 3: this Is this a normal thing that some girls did.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm going to have to do a

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Speaker 3: survey and find out. But she went on to explain

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Speaker 3: to me on the street and ask women, did you no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it on Twitter through this show, okay,

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Speaker 3: but it caught my attention obviously, and I'm like, wait

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Speaker 3: a second, sixth seventh eighth grade. That's way too old.

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Speaker 3: And she started to blush and realized that she set

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Speaker 3: it out loud, and I guess she never thought about it,

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Speaker 3: that maybe it would sound strange to other people. But

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Speaker 3: she went on to explain to me that what would

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Speaker 3: happen is her and her two friends all the way

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Speaker 3: through eighth grade. When they would hang out together, they

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Speaker 3: would be dancing or riding their bikes around the neighborhood

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Speaker 3: or you know, doing what kids do, even middle school kids.

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Speaker 3: And then they would come back to their friend's house

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Speaker 3: and they would all jump in the shower together. And

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Speaker 3: she said that they would wash each other's hair, they

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Speaker 3: would wash each other's backs. I'm looking at her, and

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Speaker 3: she must have saw the look, obviously saw the look

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Speaker 3: on my face of surprise, and she's like, well, well,

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Speaker 3: maybe it was a little weird because we did have

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Speaker 3: pubic hair and boobs.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a direct quote from her now. And I

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Speaker 3: did tell her that I was going to quote her

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Speaker 3: on the Fifth Hour podcast, and she just laughed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like I maybe you'd get away sixth grade, but like,

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Speaker 1: like seventh, I.

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Speaker 3: Think no, even with siblings. My mom used to throw

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Speaker 3: me and my older brother in the bathtub together with kids, right, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean that didn't last past third grade. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 3: just odd.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: She then explained that, and I don't know why she

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Speaker 3: had to throw this in there. One of the two

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Speaker 3: friends was older than them, and she's like, and she

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Speaker 3: had pretty big.

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Speaker 1: Boobs, that I saw her boob. Wow, so she was

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Speaker 1: in wait years older, Yeah, they were.

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Speaker 3: So when they were Yeah, so she was in high

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Speaker 3: school when they were in middle school.

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Speaker 1: And they're all in the shower together.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's uh, it's like those old movies used to

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Speaker 3: watch back in the day, Nanny, I think back, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Years ago.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like a skinemax. Well I mean for well,

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Speaker 3: not that age, but not that age older older characters,

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Speaker 3: but maybe in the same scenario. Yeah, yeah, similar scenario.

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Speaker 3: But wow, yeah, you are Kelly perverts. If you're listening,

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Speaker 3: turn the podcast off and go find Jesus.

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Speaker 1: Was that to say water or they just wanted to

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Speaker 1: make sure their bash were really clean?

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Speaker 3: She said, Oh, we just thought it was fun and

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Speaker 3: we were saving water. And unless there is a huge

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Speaker 3: amount of water pressure. You know when people joke about

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Speaker 3: this all the time that oh it sounds so sexy

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Speaker 3: and cool to like shower with your girl or take

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Speaker 3: a girl into a shower, But one of you winds

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Speaker 3: up cold, one of you winds up without the water

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Speaker 3: really being on you. So unless the water is super

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Speaker 3: hot and it turns into a sauna like atmosphere, imagine

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Speaker 3: three people though, like two of those three are cold

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Speaker 3: in the shower.

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Speaker 1: And it's also like, I'm thinking, this is just like

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Speaker 1: your normal standard shower. It's not a large walking shower, right,

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Speaker 1: showers with a tub.

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Speaker 3: And she said this was very normal for them, that

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Speaker 3: when they would hang out, you know, in the summer

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Speaker 3: or whenever it was hot outside, and this was the

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Speaker 3: normal thing for them to do. This was just a

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Speaker 3: regular like it was okay. And I said, well, that's

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Speaker 3: weird our fourteen year old. Would you be okay if

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Speaker 3: she had girlfriends over and they were all showering together?

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Speaker 3: And Brenda said, yeah, I wouldn't think anything was strange

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, I don't know. Hey, I guess it depends

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Speaker 1: how you were, how you were raised. Why did they

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Speaker 1: stop doing Do you ask her, like, why did you

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Speaker 1: stop doing it when you just keep going?

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Speaker 3: Well, if one of the girls was a year or

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Speaker 3: two older, I think she said the girl was maybe

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Speaker 3: like one year older. I'm sure that girl had a

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Speaker 3: boyfriend by the time they were still you know, in

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Speaker 3: middle school and in the shower, and that's just come on, man,

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Speaker 3: You're at the age where you're in high school and

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Speaker 3: you have a boyfriend and you're hopping in a shower.

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Speaker 1: With two other kids. No, that's what do you do about?

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Speaker 3: Like I said, is this just a thing where it's

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Speaker 3: more normal for girls to, you know, not be weird

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Speaker 3: about something like that. But as guys, we didn't even

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Speaker 3: like the locker room showers at school.

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Speaker 1: I hated that. Hated lock we all do. I was

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Speaker 1: gonna bring that up and I played football. I got

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Speaker 1: all sweaty. I would wait till I got home to

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Speaker 1: take a shower if I as much as I could,

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Speaker 1: because it was like a nightmare situation there.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, maybe that's something they didn't have to worry

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Speaker 3: about that us guys did.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. So there you go. It's that feminine thing, Danny.

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Speaker 1: They just different than us.

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Speaker 3: They're not like for the past two days now, I've

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Speaker 3: just been teasing or NonStop about it.

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Speaker 1: Leave me alone. Yeah that's worthy of teasing. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: that's definitely worthy of teething teasing. So, uh, the the

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Speaker 1: malar Bet Bread and Breakfast, Dan, I know you're rey

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Speaker 1: concerned about my my weekends and things that were not

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Speaker 1: to doing with the RADI show. So the Mallard Bed

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Speaker 1: and Breakfast was open for business. Again this past weekend. Now,

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Speaker 1: it was not opened by design, It's never really opened

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Speaker 1: by design. There's no ad like, we don't take an

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Speaker 1: ad out on Triple A's website or Yelp. There's no

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Speaker 1: YELP page saying hey, maybe stay here. You know it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a you know it's an airbnb whatever. No,

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Speaker 1: we don't do that, and uh, we don't don't talk

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Speaker 1: about the thread count on the sheets. But this was

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Speaker 1: family yet again, Danny, I get hornswaggle by family. So

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Speaker 1: a relative out of state wanted to take their kid

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Speaker 1: to Disneyland, and rather than spend hundreds of dollars at

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Speaker 1: a hotel with one of those Mickey Mouse shaped pools

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Speaker 1: where Donald Duck walks around and Goofy says hello, they

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Speaker 1: chose the Malor Mansion. Now, depending on one's perspective on this,

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Speaker 1: it's either a boutique luxury stay or a hostel with

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Speaker 1: really poor amenities. Right, So, now again people think I

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Speaker 1: don't love family. I love family, I really do. I

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Speaker 1: have to. I have to say that apparently every time

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Speaker 1: we do this podcast, Danny like a mantra, So cause

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Speaker 1: some of you, like you don't really like your family.

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Speaker 1: The way you were taking. No, I do, I do.

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Speaker 1: I'm not Hannibal Lecter. I'm not. I'm gonna you know,

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Speaker 1: that's not how obrate. But uh, I don't see them much.

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Speaker 1: As I've talked about over the years, They've scattered all

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Speaker 1: across the continental of the United States, like it's essentially

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Speaker 1: like Starbucks. My family, they're all over the place. I

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Speaker 1: got relatives in. I mean, I'm thinking abou how many

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Speaker 1: states I know people that are I grew up with

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Speaker 1: that were cousins or aunts, uncles, well not really aunts

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Speaker 1: uncles they're kind of gone now, but cousins and my

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Speaker 1: brothers and all that. So I've got every time zone

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Speaker 1: covered except the Hawaii Alaska area that is not covered.

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Speaker 1: But everything else I've got from the East Coast to

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Speaker 1: the Central time zone to the Mountain time zone. I

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Speaker 1: have a cousin in Denver, and then now we've got

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Speaker 1: obviously the West Coast completely covered as well. So it's

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Speaker 1: like I'm running a pilot program for Amtrak's relatives everywhere

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Speaker 1: across America. Like there I think they still have that.

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00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 1: Maybe they don't anyway. So my wife, God bless her,

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Speaker 1: she did not tell me stories about showering with her

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Speaker 1: friends in junior high school, Danny. But she did decide

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Speaker 1: she wanted to be the hostess with the mostess again.

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Speaker 1: So she rolled out the red carpet and if she

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Speaker 1: could find a way to give you a mint on

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Speaker 1: the pillow at at Turndown service, she would do it.

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00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,679
Speaker 1: I mean the whole thing. She treats our home as

401
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 1: your home like a literal statement. Now my position is

402
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: like different. My position is I treat that like a

403
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: legal disclaimer. Were subject to restrictions CD fine print and

404
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: all that stuff. So my cousin, who I will not name,

405
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 1: not that they listen to this podcast. They don't listen

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Speaker 1: to this podcast. But my cousin named John Doe, shall

407
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: we say John Doe, So stayed a few days, not

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00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: that long. Now, part of it was perfectly fine. I

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00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 1: only saw them one time because their schedule was a

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00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 1: daytime schedule. I'm on the opposite end. I'm the nocturnal person.

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00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 1: I'm called the nocturnal colonel. So they were up early,

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00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 1: gone to different amusement parks around southern California, and to

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Speaker 1: get out early to beat the traff well actually sit

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Speaker 1: in traffic. And so from that perspective. They were perfect

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00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: house guests in that sense. But here's the rough. So

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Speaker 1: they they ate, they drank, and they were being merry.

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Speaker 1: And they didn't just do that a little bit. They

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Speaker 1: didn't just like nibble like a little mouse on a granola.

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00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:08,239
Speaker 1: They devoured groceries like contestants on a reality show. If

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00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 1: they would make a show called Extreme Pantry Makeover or

421
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: something like that, Well, let's go over to Maler's house,

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00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 1: you know, let's help him clear out his pantry so

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Speaker 1: it can buy some new stuff. And now, I don't

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Speaker 1: drink coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker. I've never had coffee.

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Speaker 1: I plan on not ever having coffee. But my wife

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Speaker 1: loves coffee, and they drained her beloved coffee supply, which

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Speaker 1: to her is not really a beverage. It's a sacrament,

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00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 1: the power of the coffee. It's a religious type thing.

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Speaker 1: So and this is what absolutely kills me. Like and

430
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 1: this is just how I'm wired. And you know this

431
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: a little bit Danny, But for me, when I go

432
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 1: to someone else's house, I don't like to touch anything.

433
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 1: I'm afraid to even use the toilet when I go

434
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: to someone's house because it would if I break something.

435
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: What if the toilet clogs up or something like that.

436
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: What if I cause the water bill to go up

437
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: and then they're upset with me and they can't pay

438
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: their water bill and then they have to they lose

439
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 1: the house or something. And if I ever do eat something,

440
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I don't eat something when I go

441
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: to someone else's house, because I obviously do. Let's as

442
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: you go somewhere, people offer you.

443
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 3: Food, not Indian food. Remember the scene from Along Came

444
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 3: Pally with Ben Stiller.

445
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, no, I do not. I do not eat it. Yes, correct,

446
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 1: I do not eat the lofa. Come God, I beg

447
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: you please, if you make this water go down, I

448
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: will sit at your feet and I will serve you

449
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 1: for atriunity. Yeah that's uh. Yeah, so I'll but if

450
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: I if I eat somebody, I'll immediately if I'm staying

451
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: at someone's house, like, I don't really like doing this,

452
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: but sometimes I'll end up saying in a relative's house

453
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: and I'll like go out and replace it. I go

454
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 1: to Target, to the grocery store, Target, I'll buy something here.

455
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: I hate that, you know. To me, that's kind of

456
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 1: the unwritten social code the contract right now. Again, that's

457
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: just me. Like these relatives, let's just say, Danny, they

458
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 1: were they were not playing by the same playbook, the

459
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: rule book. So you know, what did I do, Danny?

460
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: What did I do?

461
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 2: Do?

462
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: Do you think I confront of them and say, what

463
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 1: are you doing? What the f are you doing? This

464
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: is you're eating all of our food, You're drinking my

465
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,199
Speaker 1: wife's coffee. No, no, you're too nice. You didn't do that.

466
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: Do I call them up and say, hey, next time,

467
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,959
Speaker 1: maybe buy your own bagels or whatever? You know? Of

468
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: course I did not do that, Danny, because that would

469
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: cause awkwardness that may lead to World War three, because

470
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: then this person will deputize members of the family against me,

471
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,239
Speaker 1: and if we ever get together, they'll be like, oh,

472
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: you're the person that yeld him for drinking the coffee

473
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: or her whatever. So instead, what I have chosen to

474
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: do here, and I think it's the right decision. Instead,

475
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: I have turned to the safest therapist. I know this microphone, Danny,

476
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: and you are you're my shrink. You're listening, and you

477
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast as I rant, it is much

478
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:02,919
Speaker 1: cheaper than an actual professional shrink. And I don't have

479
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: to leave my my home. I'm in the remote studio.

480
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: I can just sit here and I can see my phone.

481
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: And again, this is not about food. I can afford food.

482
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: It's about I can afford replacing the coffee. To me,

483
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: it's just about boundaries. It's about expectation, it's about this

484
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: is this delicate little I don't know. It's a balancing

485
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 1: act when you're hosting someone, which I don't love doing.

486
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: But when you're hosting someone and you know, like the

487
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 1: person's like you treat them, you're not supposed to treat

488
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 1: them like the other you're if you're the host, the

489
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: person staying there should not treat you like you're you're

490
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: the chef, the concierge, the maynard d you know what

491
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like you're just you're there and that's it.

492
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: And so it's you're not staying at the four seasons.

493
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: It's it's someone's home, it's not the four season. But

494
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: mostly I guess it's just I'm I'm a curmudgeon when

495
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: it comes to this kind of stuff, and I admit it.

496
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: I admit it.

497
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 3: No, No, I think a lot of us agree with

498
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: you and would feel the same exact way. And that's

499
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: why if I've ever been a house guest anywhere, I

500
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 3: go out of my way to treat those people to

501
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 3: a meal, to do something to show them gratitude instead

502
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 3: of you know, kicking back and mooching and acting like

503
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 3: it's a hotel.

504
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 1: No. No, I'm the same way. And I've only stayed

505
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: at relatives houses a few times, and it's always kind

506
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: of weird. You know, it's their place, it's their space.

507
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: It's not your space, it's their space.

508
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 3: I don't like it. I don't like being in someone

509
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 3: else's restroom. I don't like being in a bed that is,

510
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 3: you know, not your normal jam. It's weird. It's just

511
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 3: a weird feeling. Even when it's family. I've always found

512
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 3: it weird. And my family in the Bay Area they

513
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 3: think it's strange that I opt for a hotel. I

514
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 3: would rather have a hotel every day of the week.

515
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm right there with you. I am, And I

516
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: do get that from relatives if I'm coming to town

517
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 1: and like, don't stay at a hotel. We want you

518
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: to stay with us, And I'm like, you really don't

519
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 1: want that. I don't want that, you don't want that,

520
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: But they they make it seem like they really do

521
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: want that. Anyway, Listen, the whole point of this, I

522
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: I'm complaining, But if you cannot whine on your own

523
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: podcast about relatives Danny doing stuff, what's the point of

524
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: having a podcast on the weekend. We both, we both

525
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: use this as a forum to complain.

526
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 3: Yes, sometimes sometimes it's mostly entertainment, but once in a

527
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 3: while we we do. I mean, everybody on everybody in

528
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 3: entertainment at some time or another has a soapbox that

529
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: they get to stand on and it's entertaining to most

530
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 3: people as long as you as long as you don't

531
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 3: do it all the time, because then, like Covino and Rich,

532
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 3: they always joke if they feel like they're venting too

533
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 3: many days in a row, then they want to change

534
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 3: the name of their show to COMPLAINO and bitch. So

535
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 3: you just got to be aware of what you're doing

536
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 3: and not do it all the time.

537
00:26:54,720 --> 00:27:00,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you're just you gotta be real. And to me,

538
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: it's as long as it's not like boring stuff. I mean, listen,

539
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: I feel like this podcast is like bonus time, and

540
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: I give all my sports, like I could, I could

541
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: have come in here, Danny you know it's Saturday. I

542
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 1: could have talked last night Aaron Judge passed Joe Demangio,

543
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: Like that's a huge deal. But I don't need to

544
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: talk about it. I talk about it on the radio show.

545
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: This is more about other stuff, you know what I'm saying.

546
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: I will talk sports every now and again, and this

547
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 1: is just about random things that happened. That's what YouTube,

548
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: I mean, boob tube is for exactly. That's what it is.

549
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: All Right, we'll get out on that note, Danny, we

550
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 1: got the now, don't forget Benny versus the Penny on

551
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: YouTube YouTube dot com slash at Benny blast the two boobs. Yeah,

552
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: I get. I'm just like mister Beast. I felt good

553
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: yesterday on the Friday Pod, Danny. I was ranting and

554
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 1: raving because I really, when I see these numbers of

555
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: viewership and whatnot, I have known that it's a rig

556
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 1: game on social media. I get very very I'm already skeptical,

557
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: but I just rolled my eyes at some of this stuff.

558
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 1: Like people are so gible. They believe a lot of

559
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: things that, let's just say, aren't actually true, and it

560
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: blows me away. It is, like I said, it's one

561
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: of the Great Hustles O Man.

562
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 3: So social media has had a lot of land mines

563
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 3: the past few days.

564
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. All right, well, get out of that,

565
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: enjoy the college football and enjoy the the fight tonight.

566
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: Canelo Alvarez and Terence Crawford be watching that, and then

567
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: we get full day of football tomorrow as well. We'll

568
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: be here for your pregame festivities, which is known as

569
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: a mail bag.

570
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait for the mail bag. See you

571
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 3: then later, skater, later, skater is that right?

572
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? Later, skater bo Flation