Speaker 1: Talk. We're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion
Speaker 1: who talked back? What's up y'all shoes. If you tuning
Speaker 1: in for a new episode that we talked back, it's
Speaker 1: your co host A J. Holiday. The show is dedicated
Speaker 1: to you, niggas and these holes and everybody in between.
Speaker 1: That would be me. Hey, y'all, I love y'all. This
Speaker 1: is me Tim Van. Thank y'all for tuning in again. Hey,
Speaker 1: hey j Girl, Hey girl. We had a time last night.
Speaker 1: Then we even at the time this weekend, y'all. I know, man,
Speaker 1: a real good time. Was we supposed to have that
Speaker 1: good of a time? I don't know. I think that
Speaker 1: was the whole plan. I think they wanted us to
Speaker 1: have a good time. Me A J. And the h
Speaker 1: B I C of Black Effect. We all went out
Speaker 1: to We went to Memphis. We got invited to Memphis
Speaker 1: by St. Jude's to participate in there's homecoming celebration. Um,
Speaker 1: if you don't know what St. Jus is, it's hospital
Speaker 1: and they helped with childhood cancer and we received a
Speaker 1: lot of great information and they had a lot of
Speaker 1: events for us to attend, and it was such a
Speaker 1: good time. We had so much fun, and we got
Speaker 1: to learn a lot about Memphis and about the hospital. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like literally a home coming. So you had
Speaker 1: people from different HBC used, he had all the Divine
Speaker 1: nine in the building, ski Ween and all this good stuff.
Speaker 1: It was really good and they invited. My favorite part
Speaker 1: was the food. My favorite part was the actual uh,
Speaker 1: the sneaker ball. I enjoyed the sneaker Ball. I had
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. They had UM a singer named
Speaker 1: Dough Jones. She came out and she performed, and she
Speaker 1: is just phenomenal y'all. If you haven't heard her music,
Speaker 1: she sees that song when I Pray. I really loved
Speaker 1: that song. If I get married, I would really love
Speaker 1: for Doe to come out and serenade me and my guests. Um.
Speaker 1: Then they also had Eric Bellingery performed. It was a
Speaker 1: list of people that came out and performed throughout the
Speaker 1: weekend and it was a great time. Yeah. I ended
Speaker 1: up on the shuttle with UH with Dope. I was like, girl,
Speaker 1: Beyonce could fucking never do that? Beyonce, hold on beyond.
Speaker 1: Let's this a whole debate. Yes, Beyonce is a great singer, right,
Speaker 1: but let's be honest. Beyonce beyond Yes, she's a great performer,
Speaker 1: and beyonce voice wasn't always what it is now, right,
Speaker 1: she had to go through lessons. Now the real singer
Speaker 1: to me is Kelly Rowland. But do baby, that girl
Speaker 1: can She got some pipes, y'all. She was hitting them notes.
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, just when I think I can
Speaker 1: sing a little bit, I realized I can't sing worth it.
Speaker 1: You ain never thought that I can't hold out that
Speaker 1: I can hold a little note. So, um, somebody told
Speaker 1: me not to tell y'all this, and y'all should tell
Speaker 1: me if I should tell y'all. Are not, But I'm
Speaker 1: about to tell y'all. So I was in the airport
Speaker 1: coming back from Memphis, and I was at the bar
Speaker 1: and the bartender treated me so bad, y'all. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've never had anybody treat me so bad as far
Speaker 1: as customer services concerned. The woman slammed the fries in
Speaker 1: my face. I spilled my drink. She just left it there.
Speaker 1: The Patriots had to give me napkins, and then she slammed,
Speaker 1: um my ticket down on the counter for French fries.
Speaker 1: That's all I ordered, And I didn't eat them because
Speaker 1: she never came back to offer me catch up, honey, mustard,
Speaker 1: a napkin, nothing the whole time. Barbecue, barbecue, sauce, not nothing.
Speaker 1: She's just so rude to me because she felt like
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to spend a lot of money. It's
Speaker 1: in the airport and I'm just sitting at the bar
Speaker 1: in mind of my business. I'm not bothering. Do y'all
Speaker 1: know this woman called the police on me. This woman
Speaker 1: really called the police on me. I'm making a long
Speaker 1: story short, but yeah, she called the police on me,
Speaker 1: and the police had to tell her that, yeah, we
Speaker 1: can't make her pay for food that she did not eat.
Speaker 1: I mean, me and this woman was going back and
Speaker 1: forth and I wanted to motherfucking Frisbee throw that fucking
Speaker 1: bowl of fresh fries at that bitch. I sew the
Speaker 1: guy like she had the right one that day. Can
Speaker 1: I be honest with you in for a second when
Speaker 1: you when you you kept calling the phone right so
Speaker 1: like the phone rang like twice and it was in
Speaker 1: the bed with me. Remember when I faced time you
Speaker 1: but you ain't seeing my body like going up and down.
Speaker 1: I was fucking I'm about to go to jail, and
Speaker 1: she fucking like. I'm just like like on FaceTime like
Speaker 1: this my head bobbing, and I'm like and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm so mad right now. Yeah, And he's like, as crazy,
Speaker 1: I don't calling my bad friend. I was in the
Speaker 1: middle of some ship. I know you had a whole
Speaker 1: god them red alert. I'm sorry, Okay, the police couldn't
Speaker 1: do nothing to me because I didn't do nothing wrong,
Speaker 1: but the fact that another black woman called a police
Speaker 1: on me, she was just trying to have a power
Speaker 1: moment over me. Girl. I was like, the lesson that
Speaker 1: you're trying to teach me, you're gonna learn today, So
Speaker 1: continue on because I'm not paying for that ship. And
Speaker 1: I'm going to send an email tomorrow about my customer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hell yeah, we're doing all things caring this year. If
Speaker 1: you're playing around, so I'm sending emails to corporate on
Speaker 1: your host and I can't wait. That's all. I don't
Speaker 1: eat out for real. Why are you being so mean
Speaker 1: to me? Because those bitches be disgruntled, they'd be disgruntled
Speaker 1: a lot, and they wouldn't do a white person. And
Speaker 1: I was the only black person at the only other
Speaker 1: black person besides her, and she treated me like straight shit.
Speaker 1: We do each other like that. I don't. I don't do.
Speaker 1: I go out of my way to say hi to
Speaker 1: black people when I see them, eye contact Hi. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, even if they keep walking past
Speaker 1: me like I tried to. I'm just a nice person
Speaker 1: black people. I'm nice to everybody, you know, anybody that's
Speaker 1: kind to me. I'm kind bat you know. And for
Speaker 1: you to treat me like that, girl, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see if i can get your job in my
Speaker 1: back pocket. And I'm gonna try my best because you
Speaker 1: if you're treating me like that, you probably treating other
Speaker 1: black people like that at that bar. And that's not right.
Speaker 1: You called a police. What the police came and beat
Speaker 1: my ass and killed me or something? Right over a
Speaker 1: bowl of French fries. Girl, You lucky I had somewhere
Speaker 1: to be because I'd have been waiting on you at
Speaker 1: the dog. I'm giving you a reason to call the
Speaker 1: police this time, I hope. Right. So let's get into
Speaker 1: us and let's get in a stupid ending. That news
Speaker 1: today's crea, Yes, let's talk about it. She like you
Speaker 1: and peeting on y'all Golden showers. And you know everybody's
Speaker 1: been talking about her relationship with P Diddy, and now
Speaker 1: the P instead of puff and now stands for Urine Karsha.
Speaker 1: We gotta do a whole episode on black women in
Speaker 1: kink because I can't get into the spit in the mouth,
Speaker 1: the p the poop, the B D s M. Ship
Speaker 1: Like I might know, I might want to get tied
Speaker 1: up and I like a little violence, you know, choke me,
Speaker 1: you know that type of ship. But listen, piano is
Speaker 1: just kind of that's where I draw the line. Pe
Speaker 1: and poop, That's just like, that's where I draw the line.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that because it's like your body's waste.
Speaker 1: I don't understand why anybody would want somebody's bodily waste
Speaker 1: on them in a pleasurable way. I don't know the
Speaker 1: psychic behind it, but hey, whatever floats your boat because
Speaker 1: it's warm. Or I know a guy who said he'd
Speaker 1: like to pee inside a woman, like like what about U?
Speaker 1: T eyes? Like? What like pe inside me? Oh ahead,
Speaker 1: how do you even do that? When I erect penis
Speaker 1: like that? He said he can do it? Oh, I
Speaker 1: guess you do pee, I don't know what the fuck.
Speaker 1: So if somebody offer you a million dollars right now,
Speaker 1: one million dollars and you can see it sitting on
Speaker 1: the table like motherfucker may wear the laid out and
Speaker 1: was like a j you can have this money. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm good. If you let me pee on you, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't take it? Yes, okay, I look it ain't that
Speaker 1: bade one m for a little golden shower. That's different.
Speaker 1: Do you think that Karsia is just getting a million
Speaker 1: dollars every time you get piste on? No from ditty.
Speaker 1: You can pee on me right now for about fifty bands.
Speaker 1: It's a recession. Ain't gotta be a price tag on
Speaker 1: because I'm just not doing that because I'm n I
Speaker 1: have a goal to me. I need a fucking M
Speaker 1: by forty, like that's the goal. I need a couple
Speaker 1: of ms by four. So if that's gonna get me
Speaker 1: one step closer, just a little warmth, right, little yurine
Speaker 1: like maybe little mellow yellow, I I will do it.
Speaker 1: I'd like take me the Capital Grill and get me
Speaker 1: like four dirty martinis in dinner and fifty dollars that
Speaker 1: we could make it happen. It's raining bands. Okay, let
Speaker 1: me get that. Listen. So she took the Twitter and
Speaker 1: she said, um, now, y'all know I don't give a
Speaker 1: fuck that. Let me tell you. My mama always says
Speaker 1: my grandma would tell her when you find a person
Speaker 1: I don't care about nothing, leave them to funk alone. Okay,
Speaker 1: So she said, y'all know, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Reach and Roulette eight for the week, whatever that means.
Speaker 1: I want to get that game. It don't come out
Speaker 1: till March, though, So I'm gonna get it though, because
Speaker 1: I want to play. But I ain't peeing. We ain't
Speaker 1: nobody peeing on me. That's an actual game. It's a
Speaker 1: current game that she played on the show. Interesting. I
Speaker 1: want to hear from our listeners and maybe I'll put
Speaker 1: that out. They're like, what's the craziest thing your significant
Speaker 1: other or some random nigga from I don't know, Pieces
Speaker 1: of Fish ever did to you? What is the nasty
Speaker 1: We're gonna do that episode. Maybe we'll bring some people
Speaker 1: on to talk about it. No, I tell you what
Speaker 1: the nastiest thing that I'm a whisper. So my mama
Speaker 1: don't hear it. So when I was in college, my
Speaker 1: roommate she came in the room and she was all
Speaker 1: like freaked out and ship and I was like, girl,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? She was like, bitch, my nigga
Speaker 1: just bust on my ass and then licked it off.
Speaker 1: Lika came up, come off her butt, and I got
Speaker 1: a big old ass. But she had a big old
Speaker 1: ass in college, so I know he was doing a
Speaker 1: lot of licking. And I think she actually broke up
Speaker 1: with him, like maybe a couple of weeks after that.
Speaker 1: Ship surely then after rightfully, so like I'll be looking
Speaker 1: at you like, nigga, would you do that to him? Man?
Speaker 1: Like right, did you you like to taste of that?
Speaker 1: Because I can't produce it right, and I don't like
Speaker 1: the taste of it. You eat it? Not mean? Right?
Speaker 1: Speaking of weird, a Utah woman marries her cousin all right,
Speaker 1: So she went on TikTok. This woman named Marcella Hill.
Speaker 1: Her and her husband Page found out they were third
Speaker 1: cousins while looking online for baby names. So the woman
Speaker 1: is pregnant and they're looking trying to name the baby,
Speaker 1: and they're looking at their like ancestry and they realized
Speaker 1: that her grandma was first cousins or something like that
Speaker 1: with her his grandfather, and so they called their grandparents
Speaker 1: and it was like, yeah, they're my cousin. What do
Speaker 1: you do when you find out that you're you're you're
Speaker 1: married to your third cousin? That I don't feel like
Speaker 1: they haven't in Black families married girl, what's not? Maybe
Speaker 1: not married, but definitely smashing because I feel like I've
Speaker 1: smashed the fifth cousin before, after third, it don't matter.
Speaker 1: I'm like my older cousin was like, you know that's
Speaker 1: your cousin, right, I'm like, know the funk it ain't
Speaker 1: because if it is, it's too late, it's too late. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And as dick a little something like, damn this little
Speaker 1: dick running our family. I don't know, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's too late now they gotta say. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not leaving my husband because I found out he my
Speaker 1: cousin and when I got a baby by him, all right,
Speaker 1: who else gonna know that? I feel like people probably
Speaker 1: come across family members all the time at some point, yea,
Speaker 1: especially from certain areas, you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: certain places A lot of people be related. They don't
Speaker 1: cross breathe. Yeah, we like I look back at my
Speaker 1: family tree, there was like some definitely some cross breathing
Speaker 1: going off, and it was closer. It was close, you know,
Speaker 1: you look down the family tree is like, hold on,
Speaker 1: wait this say she married him, but that looked like
Speaker 1: her uncle, nephew or something like that, right, that happens.
Speaker 1: Speaking of pregnant ladies, so chris Sean Rock says that
Speaker 1: she is having Blue Faces baby potentially twins, and I
Speaker 1: don't know man, so blue Faces like well, Rock has
Speaker 1: had encounters with ten different men in the last year.
Speaker 1: Until I see a DNA test, then it's not mine
Speaker 1: to answer your questions. Yes, me and Rock are officially done.
Speaker 1: It's strictly, strictly business. I tried it and clearly it
Speaker 1: wasn't giving. Before she announced, Um, she's pregnant with somebody
Speaker 1: else baby, not mine. I love to catch your motherfucking
Speaker 1: lying with substantial evidence is such a sweet victory. So
Speaker 1: now all of a sudden, this girl is pregnant. Now
Speaker 1: you're gonna really cut it off right If she's actually pregnant.
Speaker 1: She posted um some positive pregnancy tests on online uh um.
Speaker 1: Her her fucking mental health is declining. Yeah, did you
Speaker 1: see she was just recently on an interview UM and
Speaker 1: a therapy session on the show drinking a bottle of
Speaker 1: motherfucking patron. Who would la she would never go for
Speaker 1: no ship like that. You're drinking patron in her face?
Speaker 1: Like that hold on in therapy allowed her to drinking. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I said she would never. She was in a I forgot.
Speaker 1: The therapist is a black eye who's on on that
Speaker 1: UM on the show with him, and she was drinking
Speaker 1: from the bottle. Yes, but you're pregnant. I'm confused, So um,
Speaker 1: I I would I hope she's not pregnant too, so
Speaker 1: that she can get time to get her mental health
Speaker 1: together and maybe, you know, take a break from this guy.
Speaker 1: They young, he needs to grow up. He's reproducing. He
Speaker 1: has multiple kids already. You know these people, it's like
Speaker 1: it's like niggas really be having babies quicker than regular
Speaker 1: black people. It's like, what the fuck, Like they just
Speaker 1: got all the time in the world and get pregnant.
Speaker 1: God damn. You know women, I know right now I'm
Speaker 1: struggling to have one baby, and I see a lot
Speaker 1: of women like, uh, saying, girl, call me and I
Speaker 1: take you to the UH to them people to get
Speaker 1: rid of that, and then we can go to get
Speaker 1: drinks after. Stuff like that is so ignorant the way
Speaker 1: we promote abortion in our community, like that as ignorant
Speaker 1: as because that girl already says she's having her baby,
Speaker 1: So why would any other woman be suggesting that she
Speaker 1: had an abortion. Plus she already had abortions, you know,
Speaker 1: and then you don't know until you're in your late
Speaker 1: thirties you really really want to have a baby. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the reason why there's suggesting that she having an
Speaker 1: abortion is because now you have, once you have a
Speaker 1: child with someone, you have to deal with in the
Speaker 1: rest of your life, you know. And that's obviously what
Speaker 1: she wants. Toxic situation. And that's why I would assume
Speaker 1: that other women are like, girl, don't do that, you know,
Speaker 1: just let it go. But she's already had abortions, and
Speaker 1: she didn't leave him alone. She literally has this nigga
Speaker 1: face and name tattooed on her body multiple times. She
Speaker 1: doesn't she doesn't seem like a stable mind. I don't
Speaker 1: think that she should be procreating right now. But that's
Speaker 1: not for me to say, you know what I'm saying, like,
Speaker 1: that's not for another woman to suggest her to have
Speaker 1: an abortion on top of the fact that she's already
Speaker 1: had multiple abortions. What about you know what she what
Speaker 1: she's putting her body through and her mental health? Right,
Speaker 1: you ain't never took nobody to get an abortion before. No,
Speaker 1: I funded one before. But no, no, I definitely have
Speaker 1: taken a friend of to to the to the to
Speaker 1: the shop. But let me tell you it was it was.
Speaker 1: It was bad because I was like, my friend, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever you need, I got you. And it wasn't an
Speaker 1: easy thing for her, you know, like, I don't think
Speaker 1: it's you know, some people are very desensitized to it
Speaker 1: and they can do it without thinking twice. But my
Speaker 1: friend wasn't that person. I'm not that person. And we
Speaker 1: pull up and they had them signs outside, like you know,
Speaker 1: the people who be protesting. Yeah. I was like, which
Speaker 1: one of y'all? And I immediately folded on that bitch.
Speaker 1: I was like this, huh. She was like damn, damn.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry. It was pressure bench. They
Speaker 1: had that little white baby holding that little white dog
Speaker 1: baby out there. Oh, goodness. And then we went inside
Speaker 1: and it was a lady in there with four kids.
Speaker 1: The babies were in there with her. She didn't even
Speaker 1: have anybody to watch her kids for her while she
Speaker 1: Why are you fucking That's what we need to reevaluate.
Speaker 1: We gotta have a little bit more accountability, yes, because
Speaker 1: abortion is not birth control. Okay, birth control is what
Speaker 1: happens before you get pregnant. Well, lot of you don't
Speaker 1: get pregnant. You're not, And that's fucked up. That is
Speaker 1: so fucked up. That is fucked up. And I feel
Speaker 1: like that's what we need that I feel like a
Speaker 1: woman can control getting pregnant. We can all these apps
Speaker 1: out here now where you can monitor your ovulation and
Speaker 1: your and your cycle and all that ship like they
Speaker 1: literally work. My should be down to a t. I
Speaker 1: use my days. I've been using it for a year.
Speaker 1: My ovulation, Yeah, you got fit b it. Apple doesn't
Speaker 1: now like checking your fu heart rate all day long
Speaker 1: everything like you can. You're fucking lazy. There's no reason.
Speaker 1: I mean, it can happen, right, But if you're just
Speaker 1: you can let a nigga come in you all day long.
Speaker 1: Just don't do it around your ovulation time. Yeah, use condoms.
Speaker 1: I'm an advocate for that. That part, that part you
Speaker 1: have birth control, which is before even a plan B.
Speaker 1: If you gotta go that route, you got seventy two
Speaker 1: hours after that nigga came in you. And if you
Speaker 1: fucking with somebody who can't afford to buy you a
Speaker 1: damn uh fifty dollar playing b bill, you already fucking up.
Speaker 1: Like women, got it, we gotta take more responsibility for
Speaker 1: this bullshit and not be suggesting other young black women.
Speaker 1: And they have they have another one that's even cheaper
Speaker 1: than that, like LoVa Nestra, something like that, long long
Speaker 1: and something. It's like a but they have the same ingredients. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can get this up. So what's the ladies take
Speaker 1: accountability for your body? You know? Yeah, it's not the
Speaker 1: men's responsibility. The condoms really not even responsibility at that point,
Speaker 1: because they're gonna try to put that dick in you
Speaker 1: raw every time you have to say what a condomat
Speaker 1: If you're dealing with anybody who's not irresponsible, some of
Speaker 1: these niggas is not at the same rate. We can't
Speaker 1: we can't blame the men though. It's us. It's us
Speaker 1: we got control over that ship. If you're working with
Speaker 1: somebody who just goes, you don't think he's just sticking
Speaker 1: his dick in somebody else the same way. Child, Please,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. Right.
Speaker 1: Oh that's y'all can't stand me because I'm pull that
Speaker 1: hole that mirror up on your ass real quick, boy,
Speaker 1: Fuck you, Nigga commented on the Instagram page. Stop but
Speaker 1: he can't stand me sometimes stand these nuts? How about
Speaker 1: that with your bit ass. We're gonna break through. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back, all right. So we're back, y'all. And
Speaker 1: you know what I want to talk about today? What
Speaker 1: are like some of the proper methods or some of
Speaker 1: the methods that you used to break up? Because I
Speaker 1: can tell you guys, in my last relationship, I literally
Speaker 1: had to go to therapy. It was like one of
Speaker 1: the hardest things I ever had to do, you know,
Speaker 1: because one part of your mind is like, damn, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe we could work it out because you got those
Speaker 1: good times you keep thinking about, right, But then if
Speaker 1: the bad times it's just like over powering overpowering the
Speaker 1: good times, get the funk up out of there. But
Speaker 1: I literally had to go to a therapist to break up,
Speaker 1: like a breakup therapist, and it made it easier because
Speaker 1: then you know, I was I had to recognize like
Speaker 1: why why am I going to say in this relationship?
Speaker 1: Like it makes you hold of mirror for the most part.
Speaker 1: You know, a therapist, they really don't give you answers.
Speaker 1: They forced you to find your answers. Yeah. Um. And
Speaker 1: it was actually two different therapists. One was a woman,
Speaker 1: one was a man. The woman was like, what you
Speaker 1: gonna do? She wasn't trying to tell me what to do,
Speaker 1: but she was like, bitch, you know what to do essentially,
Speaker 1: And the guy, of course, was like, well maybe it
Speaker 1: could be worked out. And I'm like, no, right, there's
Speaker 1: no salvaging this none, not at all, And I don't
Speaker 1: need any more couples therapy, and then I need therapy
Speaker 1: for me at this Then at that point, it's like
Speaker 1: when you stay in something that really holds no value,
Speaker 1: then you gotta be accountable for still being there, you
Speaker 1: know exactly, because then you ain't got nobody to blame yourself.
Speaker 1: M yep. And so for years I had nobody to
Speaker 1: blame but myself and not even at the end, I'm
Speaker 1: still not trying to blame him, but it still ends
Speaker 1: with you. You know what I'm saying. People only do
Speaker 1: what you're allowed them to do for one and you
Speaker 1: women know when it's time to go. I feel like
Speaker 1: oftentimes we stay in in situations longer than we should,
Speaker 1: even men. I feel like men actually do suffer and
Speaker 1: bad relationships longer, especially the deal. Yeah, they'll just deal
Speaker 1: because you know, they'll see the bigger pictures. Women be
Speaker 1: like my happiness. They'll go find the happiness outside of
Speaker 1: the relationship to fulfill them so they can stay in
Speaker 1: the relationship exactly. So you know, I'm on clubhouse, you know,
Speaker 1: not even a lot anymore. But the main thing black
Speaker 1: men love to say is the statistics on how black
Speaker 1: women are the ones doing the divorces. We do the paperwork.
Speaker 1: Niggas leave the relationship way before we do the paperwork.
Speaker 1: We're used to doing the paperwork. We do all of it.
Speaker 1: We do your doctor paperwork, we do everything. Sometimes women
Speaker 1: are feeling out applications for me. We all we did
Speaker 1: was file the paperwork. But oftentimes the man been left
Speaker 1: the relationship. You know, even when we had our daddy's on.
Speaker 1: Remember my daddy was like, my daddy was like no
Speaker 1: woman ever came between him and my mom relationship. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you were cheating, you were coming home with white bitches
Speaker 1: here on you black bitches here, like just hell a
Speaker 1: disrespectful and my mom is not like that bitch. You'll
Speaker 1: literally not talked to you again. And like because she
Speaker 1: has children with him, was like, that's her family at
Speaker 1: this point. If my dad gets sick today, my mom
Speaker 1: would go take care of him, she would help, but
Speaker 1: she don't funk with him like that. I've literally seen
Speaker 1: my mom's like break up with a nigga and never
Speaker 1: talked to them to the day they died, and the
Speaker 1: nigga was contacting me just to have a little piece
Speaker 1: in my mama. He died, died, Yes, he died, and
Speaker 1: I was so sad about it because he was like
Speaker 1: a father figure to me too. And when he died,
Speaker 1: she just told me like regular, oh yeah, so and
Speaker 1: so died. Um. I heard what. I was devastated because
Speaker 1: I had just spoken to him. She was like that
Speaker 1: she didn't know, you need something from the store. I'm
Speaker 1: about to go to the right She was just said,
Speaker 1: that's like it's regular. That's why you gotta be careful
Speaker 1: like women with children, like who are you inviting your
Speaker 1: kids lives? Because you don't know the impact that those
Speaker 1: people have, right that part? Yeah, because that was definitely
Speaker 1: a father figure for I've only had two real relationships
Speaker 1: in my life, and I got dump both times, so
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I ain't never had the opportunity
Speaker 1: to dump nobody. Dad, you were sticking I was sticking out.
Speaker 1: You'd be like this bad, but I'm a stake everything else.
Speaker 1: But then I also have commitment phobia, so I was
Speaker 1: like very okay with like situation ships, like no titles,
Speaker 1: so it ain't nothing to break up from. We can't
Speaker 1: break up if we together. Now that's some bullshit. You
Speaker 1: sucked me raw, we together? I don't suck raw. I
Speaker 1: don't be fucking wrong. Oh see there's that party read
Speaker 1: you're my whole boyfriend? Like it or not? All right?
Speaker 1: So it's fair to say I kind of broke up
Speaker 1: with people because I've ended situation ships, but I've never
Speaker 1: had like the people I was really committed to dump
Speaker 1: mean both times, but let me tell you this, they
Speaker 1: came back. They tried to. But once you ended with me, baby,
Speaker 1: ain't no coming back. That's one thing I don't do
Speaker 1: because that should be hurt. And I'd be like, you
Speaker 1: really want to be done one? You know suck Oh,
Speaker 1: you can't circle back once you done me. It's it's
Speaker 1: a wrap. But they try, both of them did get
Speaker 1: somebody else to do it. But my situation ship said
Speaker 1: I ended. I think I don't know. I'm real Frank,
Speaker 1: when it gets to that point, it's kind of like
Speaker 1: this same work and I don't want to do it
Speaker 1: no more. All right, We're still cool though, Like I'm always,
Speaker 1: I always keep that energy. It ain't never like it
Speaker 1: has been some situations where I'm like, boy, I speed
Speaker 1: on you if I see you in publicly, don't play
Speaker 1: with me because of the disrespect that it happened in
Speaker 1: the situation ship. But for the most part, if I
Speaker 1: ended with you, it ain't it's all off. I speak
Speaker 1: to you. I had gnad you if I see you outside,
Speaker 1: and that's it. What about you? Well, I've been in
Speaker 1: four serious relationships my entire life, and I've broke up
Speaker 1: with each one of them. Um. One I had to
Speaker 1: move eight hundred miles away, and one, UM I feel
Speaker 1: like I moved in all the relationships for real, like
Speaker 1: I just sucking pick up and move like my first boyfriend,
Speaker 1: her and Charleston. I really didn't um break up with
Speaker 1: him in that way. He just didn't want to move
Speaker 1: with me, Like I moved back to Colombia and I'm like,
Speaker 1: come with me. Like it took that nigga years to
Speaker 1: leave his mom's house. I'm like, I'm twenty one, Like Nigga,
Speaker 1: move like, let's go. I'm in college here, I'm working, Like,
Speaker 1: come on, what the funk are you? Like? We could
Speaker 1: have probably built a really nice life together, because that's
Speaker 1: one of my good friends still to this day. I
Speaker 1: need to call his mama. But Nigga would He would
Speaker 1: not fucking move. He wouldn't and he just wasn't doing
Speaker 1: He wasn't ambitious enough, he wasn't working. Like I'm twenty one.
Speaker 1: We going on vacation, Nigga, I'm paying for it. That's
Speaker 1: what the fun was happening in that relationship. Yes, so
Speaker 1: you know we and him, me and him going into
Speaker 1: a really really, really bad fight one night, because this
Speaker 1: is when Palm Trio had just came out. Remember Palm Trios,
Speaker 1: Like the first first touch screen Quarty keyboard. Yes, I
Speaker 1: had a Palm trio. He was with me when I
Speaker 1: bought this phone. Five d sixty something fucking dollars cash.
Speaker 1: I paid for his phone. We went to his sister house.
Speaker 1: She wanted to see, like how the phone worked. This
Speaker 1: I'm just giving y'all. When we finally called it like
Speaker 1: for real, I've stopped with him, um, and she was
Speaker 1: using my phone and she went through my pictures and
Speaker 1: a nigga popped up on the screen. Mind you, I
Speaker 1: had just went on a date with somebody a couple
Speaker 1: of days prior, and I was lying to him telling
Speaker 1: him I was out with my home girls, and it
Speaker 1: was only because I wanted somebody to fucking do for
Speaker 1: me for one. That's only right as a woman. So
Speaker 1: he put he put me in pants essentially when we're young,
Speaker 1: you know. And I just feel like women just be
Speaker 1: getting to the bag quickening guys when they're young. So, um, girl,
Speaker 1: I could see and he wore glasses. Girl, When I
Speaker 1: tell you, a little demon pop that nick When he
Speaker 1: saw that phone, bitch, he slammed my phone on a
Speaker 1: concrete that ship like a more start bawled it up,
Speaker 1: and then he left me in the projects he grew
Speaker 1: up in, so I had to call my daddy to
Speaker 1: come get me. Mind you, I was just in town
Speaker 1: to get my dad's car because my car had broke down,
Speaker 1: so I only came to Charleston to get his car
Speaker 1: set and go back to Columbia. And that nigga um
Speaker 1: left me there and I'm like, no phone, no nothing,
Speaker 1: and I had to like, I'm crying in the parking lot.
Speaker 1: I had to ask somebody to use a cell phone
Speaker 1: to call my dad. And so when I called my dad,
Speaker 1: my daddy was like, you got a choice to make
Speaker 1: because if I get involved, somebody's gonna get hurt. So
Speaker 1: either you're gonna be with him or you're not. And
Speaker 1: from that day for it, we weren't together no more.
Speaker 1: I made the choice. So maybe my dad was the
Speaker 1: the therapist in that situation. I just didn't funk with
Speaker 1: a no more after that. Well, he was right to
Speaker 1: be at though, because regardless of him being broke, y'all
Speaker 1: still were committed to each other. That nigga was cheating,
Speaker 1: imagine being broke and I don't caught you cheating. That's
Speaker 1: the first time you ever seen anything in my motherfucking phone.
Speaker 1: Oh he was cheating. He had cheated on me prior
Speaker 1: to then. Yeah, imagine that. Imagine you being a broken
Speaker 1: nigger and you cheating on me like that is just
Speaker 1: I'm not dealing with that. But I did deal with
Speaker 1: it a couple more months, obviously, right for us to
Speaker 1: get to the point to where I'm going on dates
Speaker 1: and ship now giving a fun how you feel? No,
Speaker 1: that's crazy. Yes, so my daddy broke us up. Um no,
Speaker 1: that trio broke you'll answer. Can I use your phone
Speaker 1: real clay? Right? Um, let me see. After that, I
Speaker 1: moved to like the next relationship, I moved to Atlanta
Speaker 1: on the nigga. Then that wasn't far enough because he
Speaker 1: was driving from South Carolina to Atlanta every fucking weekends.
Speaker 1: I moved to St. Louis because I couldn't stop sucking
Speaker 1: him because I just moved. Um. After that, Um, oh,
Speaker 1: the fans broke me and my ex and one is
Speaker 1: in prison. He gets out in about thirty days. But
Speaker 1: the fans broke us up. I probably stole Ben with
Speaker 1: that fucking nigga getting driven crazy after goddamn wall. So
Speaker 1: God came through on that one, Like I bet you
Speaker 1: ain't leaving. It was days. I would literally be putting
Speaker 1: my ship in the car and that they would be
Speaker 1: taking my ship out simultaneously, like you ain't about to
Speaker 1: go to your mama house and and embarrassed me. So
Speaker 1: the god and the fans broke us up. So you
Speaker 1: didn't really end it now. Yeah, once he got sentenced,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I gotta move on my
Speaker 1: life because I don't. I don't wait for a minute
Speaker 1: come home from prisoner. I think I had one situation ship. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess we were kind of together. This was in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: but I was we're here for all the wrong reasons.
Speaker 1: He was not not the It was a Dominican. I
Speaker 1: didn't tell you about this, nigga. I hadn't tell you
Speaker 1: Poppy the poppy I was dealing with. The police took
Speaker 1: him from me too and deported him. So that was
Speaker 1: a situation that ended with Jim the Porte. I got
Speaker 1: rid of his ass. Look when my ex got locked up,
Speaker 1: the motherfucker's had is shut online. Um his race as Cuban.
Speaker 1: They really thought they had Yeah, they really thought they
Speaker 1: busted something Dominican or Cuban drug lord. But he wasn't Charleston,
Speaker 1: but he was black light skining black right. He had
Speaker 1: that work now, but but he definitely wasn't one of them.
Speaker 1: So let's get into our list. I found a list
Speaker 1: on Marx manson dot net. UH ten rules for breaking
Speaker 1: up gracefully. Uh Number one, always do it in person
Speaker 1: and if possible, don't do it in public. So I
Speaker 1: disagree with that. You might depend on who you're breaking
Speaker 1: up with. You need some more people to see make
Speaker 1: sure you safe. Right, she might get ugly. I'm flipping
Speaker 1: the table over for sure. I always want to do that.
Speaker 1: I see my mama flipped well, I ain't see, but
Speaker 1: people told me my mama flipped the table over at
Speaker 1: the at the eye. Yeah, I love it, man. I
Speaker 1: want to do that so bad. I want to flip
Speaker 1: the table and take my forearm and sweep all the
Speaker 1: ship off the table at the same time too, Like
Speaker 1: sweep all the ship and then we book that table
Speaker 1: over and then kick sweep that nigg that's toxic. Don't
Speaker 1: do that in the middle of the number two, in
Speaker 1: the middle of a sentence. Don't listen to that. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be in jail. My mom, they said, my mom
Speaker 1: almost went to jail, but she knew the officer and
Speaker 1: they let it go. Number two, never make a scene
Speaker 1: and keep your bad ship to a minimum. See look.
Speaker 1: Number two is to follow up with number one, and
Speaker 1: I might have to take that out because my mama
Speaker 1: got a whole career. She might be mad at me
Speaker 1: for telling y'all that. Ah uh. Number three, do not
Speaker 1: try to make the other person feel better. Mhmm. That's interesting.
Speaker 1: M hmm. Like it's not you as me kind of situation, right,
Speaker 1: That's that's probably what it sounds. So it says this
Speaker 1: goes particularly with the dumper, um Q Beavis and butt
Speaker 1: head laugh. Whatever that means. Once the relationship is severed,
Speaker 1: the other person's emotions are no longer your responsibility. And
Speaker 1: not only is it no longer your responsibility to help
Speaker 1: them cope, but comforting them like excuse me, but comforting
Speaker 1: them will likely make them feel worse. It can also backfire,
Speaker 1: and that it will just make them resent you more
Speaker 1: for being so nice while dumping them. Okay, I understand that.
Speaker 1: And for fox sakes, it says don't have sex with them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're all emotional, sometimes you might end up having
Speaker 1: sex right before a break like one last time. That
Speaker 1: mean niggas, you break up with them and they're like, man,
Speaker 1: just come over here and talk to me face to
Speaker 1: face about it. No, stay your ass, don't go on,
Speaker 1: no clothes set and what? No, man, you'll are you
Speaker 1: trying to break up where you're gonna get fucked and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be back there for another year too? Are
Speaker 1: beat up? One of two? All right after the breakup,
Speaker 1: respectfully cut all contact for a short period of time,
Speaker 1: at least a short period of time. Yeah, because it
Speaker 1: won't be over. If you break up with them and
Speaker 1: you continue to communicate, it won't be over. That's my problem.
Speaker 1: So it says this is the second thing that many
Speaker 1: people don't muster the courage to do. A lot of
Speaker 1: people get hung up on remaining friends and actually forced
Speaker 1: contact when it when it's causing them more emotional stress.
Speaker 1: Research and relationship breakups finds that people who limit contact
Speaker 1: with one another emotionally recover much faster. So I did
Speaker 1: do that. So I blocked my ex for six months,
Speaker 1: and when the block expired on Verizon, I had to
Speaker 1: block him on all social media all that ship. When
Speaker 1: he was finally was able to contact my phone again
Speaker 1: because I guess he was still trying. A matter of fact, no,
Speaker 1: because he was still message through our business page on
Speaker 1: the motherfucking podcast page. But I feel like I thought,
Speaker 1: up until like a week ago or two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: I thought we could like at least still communicate periodically.
Speaker 1: Now I'm just like, I have a real live disdain
Speaker 1: family a little bit. So I'm like, nigger, I don't
Speaker 1: even want to be your friend. I don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: your friend. I'm not your friend, Like it's impossible to
Speaker 1: be some some people. Man, it's kind of I broke
Speaker 1: up with him because I didn't like him as a person,
Speaker 1: So how are you gonna be my friend? Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: why you just gotta in all contact, honestly. Number five
Speaker 1: talk to somebody about it. A J went to a therapist.
Speaker 1: I typically go to a J like I'd be having
Speaker 1: all the right answers for people, but not of my
Speaker 1: mother for yourself. They say, this one may seem obvious,
Speaker 1: but make sure you do you do it if this
Speaker 1: is a particularly serious relationship, to talk to a trusted
Speaker 1: friend or family member before making the decision, and then
Speaker 1: take whatever advice they give you. Seriously, we are often
Speaker 1: poor observers of our own relationships, but our friends can
Speaker 1: see how it's affecting us better than we can see
Speaker 1: for ourselves. Yeah, and you know what I also need
Speaker 1: to work on, like when somebody is giving me like
Speaker 1: there um, because you know, when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: you know all the ins and outs of your relationship,
Speaker 1: and it's oftentimes we do share the worstship about our
Speaker 1: partner and none of the good. So then now when
Speaker 1: you're telling your friend you're offloading what you're going through
Speaker 1: with this person, or you know you're contemplating breaking up
Speaker 1: with them, and your friend is like, you know, talking
Speaker 1: shit about the person, it's kind of like it's to me,
Speaker 1: it was always like uneasy, like yeah, I know I'm
Speaker 1: talking about this nigga with you, but I don't really
Speaker 1: like you talking about him because I know the other
Speaker 1: part of him, which is why I kept staying with right,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But that's the part that
Speaker 1: you forget to tell your friends because those things are fleeting.
Speaker 1: It's the mean, hurtful things that stay with you the most. Yeah,
Speaker 1: would be like that, unless it's like always good, then
Speaker 1: it's always good stuff to talk about, but that's not
Speaker 1: real life. Number six, Allow yourself to be sad, angry, upset,
Speaker 1: but don't judge or blame anyone. It says emotions are
Speaker 1: healthy and normal, even negative emotions are healthy and normal.
Speaker 1: But judging and blaming people, whether it's them or you,
Speaker 1: doesn't get you very far. That's true. So so that's
Speaker 1: where accountability comes in there. Yeah, I'd be quick to
Speaker 1: blame you. You you you you Yeah yeah yeah, um,
Speaker 1: because you know when people say, oh, you're responsible for
Speaker 1: your own happiness, I understand that. But if somebody can
Speaker 1: make you unhappy, they also have the power to make
Speaker 1: you happy. Right, So if you're intentionally making me unhappy
Speaker 1: in a relationship, or it may not be intentional in
Speaker 1: their minds, but if you're doing a bunch of dumb
Speaker 1: ship on a daily basis, like I'm going to be
Speaker 1: falling out of love with you, like that's just yeah.
Speaker 1: So um, I don't know, I don't know about that one.
Speaker 1: To to not blame somebody, it's kind of hard because
Speaker 1: why you you would still be with them? I mean,
Speaker 1: I understand you gotta blame you know, blame yourself, take accountability,
Speaker 1: not blame yourself, but take accountability for the relationship in
Speaker 1: your part and what's transpiring in the relationship. But it's
Speaker 1: kind of hard. It's kind of hard not to point
Speaker 1: out all right. Number seven, recognize that the breakup itself
Speaker 1: is a sign of your incompatibility and you're both better off.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, hows somebody better without me? I don't understand that. One.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you could be a great person. They can be
Speaker 1: a great person, but you're not great together. Y'all don't
Speaker 1: bring out the best in each other. And that's another
Speaker 1: thing I would tell my ex, like, you can be
Speaker 1: an amazing purpose person it for somebody else, Like, we
Speaker 1: both got all these great qualities, but we do not
Speaker 1: bring out the best in each other. We don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I just it makes me feel better to think
Speaker 1: that they're not better. Well, I always be like Nick,
Speaker 1: it's it's just it's just one me. You're gonna look
Speaker 1: for me and somebody else and you're gonna never find me.
Speaker 1: I do be on that type of time because I
Speaker 1: really feel that way about me. I know I'm amazing too,
Speaker 1: but no, I'm that narcissistic to believe that nobody else would.
Speaker 1: I just like to it makes me feel better to
Speaker 1: feel like I'm the best thing that ever happened to
Speaker 1: them in life. It's kind of narcissistic, but it's fucking real, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can. I believe there's only like a few different
Speaker 1: characteristics of people, right, and you should be able to
Speaker 1: find those characteristics and multiple people, but there is still
Speaker 1: gonna be some uniqueness about this one person in particular.
Speaker 1: Number eight investing yourself. This is a good one. The
Speaker 1: longer you're spending in a romantic relationship, the more you're
Speaker 1: into identity males with theirs. Being together with someone in
Speaker 1: such an intimate space for so long creates a third,
Speaker 1: overlapping psychological entity that comprised comprises both you and them,
Speaker 1: and when that entity suddenly dies, not only is it painful,
Speaker 1: but it leaves a temporary void in who you are.
Speaker 1: So you gotta find yourself again, basically, find your own
Speaker 1: individual identity and celebrate it. That's why I always say
Speaker 1: you gotta be independent in the union. You don't want
Speaker 1: to lose yourself and nobody. Yes, y'all are supposed to
Speaker 1: grow together and do things together, but you should never
Speaker 1: be in a relationship where you're being consumed by the
Speaker 1: other person. So where you no longer having having a
Speaker 1: u an identity. And it says like friendship is the
Speaker 1: best medicine for heartbreak. So you know, you fall back
Speaker 1: on the people, your home girls and your loved ones
Speaker 1: to help you remember who you are as an individual,
Speaker 1: because those are the people who know you as an individual.
Speaker 1: You know exactly number nine. Only start dating again when
Speaker 1: you're legitimately excited to see new people a lot. So
Speaker 1: it says a lot of people break up and enter
Speaker 1: a rebound period there immediately back on the market and
Speaker 1: throwing themselves at the first thing that comes by. The
Speaker 1: problem is this is more of a coping mechanism than
Speaker 1: genuine enthusiasm for new people, for meeting new people. So
Speaker 1: I agree with that, you know how and don't heal.
Speaker 1: We already said that several times in several different episodes.
Speaker 1: So they always say the best way over somebody is
Speaker 1: under somebody else. But that's not true. You gotta take
Speaker 1: some time. It's gone dates. We gotta learn the date.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do an episode on that too. Black women dating,
Speaker 1: Just date? What is it? What does it look like?
Speaker 1: Just date? Like date multiple people like? I like first dates,
Speaker 1: I like meeting new people. I like talking to new
Speaker 1: people and learning about them and ship like right, So yeah,
Speaker 1: just trying to not the fun, right, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: You don't have the funk everybody you date. You fun
Speaker 1: everybody you date, and you especially shouldn't have a baby
Speaker 1: by every boyfriend. But that's a different conversation, all right.
Speaker 1: Number ten, Only attempt to be friends with your ex
Speaker 1: again once you're over the idea of dating them. M hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Some people have the admiral admirballe goal of remaining friends
Speaker 1: with their ex. Other people have the admiral goal of
Speaker 1: breaking the breaking their knee caps of their breaking the
Speaker 1: knee caps of their ex with the tire, right can
Speaker 1: you as a woman? I feel like men can do it?
Speaker 1: But as a woman, it's like when you get into
Speaker 1: a relationship with a new person, they don't want to
Speaker 1: know that you're stow in communication with your ex like that, Like,
Speaker 1: how how are you going to be making space for
Speaker 1: a new um experiences experiencing new people. If you're holding
Speaker 1: on to this friendship relationship with somebody else, it has
Speaker 1: to be like a if it's an actual person you
Speaker 1: were in a relationship with, it has to be a
Speaker 1: big gass time gap. I believe I say, five years
Speaker 1: before I could be your friend, do right? You know
Speaker 1: what I do? Like, I'm still cool. I don't think
Speaker 1: I have an X that I'm not cool with in
Speaker 1: some form of fashion, because you know, i'd be having
Speaker 1: a good time. My funny niggas like to laugh. I
Speaker 1: like to laugh. So if it, if it didn't end horribly,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much still cool with your ass. But you
Speaker 1: can't get no more pussy um exactly, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: So we went we posted on our Instagram page and
Speaker 1: we asked, y'all, what how do y'all break up with people? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we want to read a couple of them. Somebody just
Speaker 1: responded it was like one more time, like applies. So
Speaker 1: b V I think it's like balanced b V lanced said,
Speaker 1: like applies one more time? Uh k, car mona she said,
Speaker 1: or he said, I can't tell by the avatar, but
Speaker 1: just as ignore them, just completely ignore them. Good. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is my friend out the de Leon Daily on
Speaker 1: he says, getting straight to the point but with respect
Speaker 1: and clear communication sounds good. That's healthy if you can
Speaker 1: really do it that way, right. Jules Vega O seven
Speaker 1: says over dinner, you're gonna give feet up one more
Speaker 1: time and then be like, yeah, are you fool? Did
Speaker 1: you enjoy your bill? Guess what? That's the last one
Speaker 1: you getting out of goods? Shame, that's a relationship, is
Speaker 1: stomach fool relationship? Empty pink Prince Princess says, I just
Speaker 1: stopped responding. It looks like a lot of people are
Speaker 1: just ghost Anissa Duck says face to face that's how
Speaker 1: after Brown says, after sex, damn shame, a silent escape.
Speaker 1: We both know what happened without saying anything. This is quasi. No,
Speaker 1: I don't say it. I know who that is. Don't
Speaker 1: say m hm like she hit me up. But she
Speaker 1: was like I just commented on y'all, y'all story question,
Speaker 1: but don't say my name just in case. So it's
Speaker 1: so listening, Okay, well listen, I'm telling everybody name. What's
Speaker 1: there on one people? No, no, we just said this
Speaker 1: was an anonymous question, right. Someone said, sorry for what podcasts?
Speaker 1: Thank you all for following. This is text. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to talk about ship face to face because stay
Speaker 1: out my face for real. So g Uh in the
Speaker 1: middle says, I don't know how to break up with
Speaker 1: people actually in this situation right now, girls said us
Speaker 1: a dumb, big story. We'll help you break up. I
Speaker 1: had a therapist. I'll give you that disclaimer before we start,
Speaker 1: but I help you. I don't think that. I think
Speaker 1: ghosting is cool when it's mutual, like you'll both just
Speaker 1: fall out of contact, but that that doesn't really happen
Speaker 1: in um, actual committed relationships. These some of these things
Speaker 1: like ghosting and ship like that, that's far more of
Speaker 1: like a hook up situation ship situations. I don't think
Speaker 1: that somebody you've been in a relationship with a five years,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna go st that nick and not answer
Speaker 1: the phone for him no more. That's not really realistic,
Speaker 1: Like how do you actually break up with people? I
Speaker 1: think the list that we gave is a real good
Speaker 1: um starting point. But I do think with somebody you're
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship with face to face, even over
Speaker 1: the phone, maybe you gotta write them a teen page
Speaker 1: letter whatever it is, but you do a little bit
Speaker 1: more old than some type of explanation or I don't know.
Speaker 1: When I broke up with my ex, I literally had
Speaker 1: written in a journal every day eating up to the breakup,
Speaker 1: so that, for one, it was really to remind myself
Speaker 1: as to why I was breaking up with him, and
Speaker 1: also if he wanted to know the exact reasons, I
Speaker 1: had them ship listed in a real fucking way for
Speaker 1: the breakup. So I don't know, these these responses are
Speaker 1: really for hookups, right, y'all. Ain't just got nigga yap
Speaker 1: in a relationship with for a while That should be
Speaker 1: long and drawing out. It takes literally a year to
Speaker 1: break up with somebody you've actually been in a relationship with.
Speaker 1: I feel like it takes like a year. Yeah, if
Speaker 1: you could cold turkey and nigger, you're a babbage. If
Speaker 1: you can cold turkey somebody you've been with for like
Speaker 1: two years plus, but didn't somebody's just come home and
Speaker 1: find all everything gone like I feel like it was
Speaker 1: on social media like care and all the ship was
Speaker 1: just gone out of the house, no conversation. That's cold
Speaker 1: blooded right there. Yes, yes, And you know, if somebody
Speaker 1: were to do me like that, I stress about little things.
Speaker 1: I don't stress about big ship. What could I do
Speaker 1: in that situation but move the No, that would definitely.
Speaker 1: I can't believe this nigga took the TVs. I can't
Speaker 1: even watch being the new episode came on the night.
Speaker 1: The only reason why you probably feel a ways because
Speaker 1: you ain't did it first. He got one up on
Speaker 1: your ass is really the person who needs like the closure,
Speaker 1: who's stressing the most about the breakup, and they probably
Speaker 1: contemplated breaking up too, But when you're being broken up
Speaker 1: with is more devastating, especially for women. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: because women aren't used to that type of They're not
Speaker 1: used to rejection in that way. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: being adult, I guess that's the gist of this episode,
Speaker 1: being an adult, being an adult and have the hard,
Speaker 1: tough conversations with yourself and the people you once loved.
Speaker 1: They deserve that much, at least at the bare minimum,
Speaker 1: unless they talx is in they're beating your ass, then
Speaker 1: I it's okay to go stim and get up out
Speaker 1: of there. That's the only time I feel like it's
Speaker 1: okay to just ghost to motherfucker's just when it's if
Speaker 1: your life depends on when you're in an enough situation
Speaker 1: in you j low get the funk up out of there,
Speaker 1: right So anyway, that's I mean, I guess this h
Speaker 1: I hope this episode gives you, guys, um some better
Speaker 1: ways to break up, because I know it's somebody listening
Speaker 1: right now that this is suching your spirit that you
Speaker 1: need to break up with that person today. Don't wait,
Speaker 1: do it today, right, don't wait till the next new year,
Speaker 1: or maybe wait at till you know that's bad advice.
Speaker 1: I'm about to say, at least wait till after Vamion
Speaker 1: Time's day. But you toxy on it. I'm just joking.
Speaker 1: Don't wait. No, she ain't joking. She ain't joking at all.
Speaker 1: But listen, guys, we hope you enjoyed this episode. Tune
Speaker 1: in every Thursday on your I Heart Radio Apple wherever
Speaker 1: the fun you get your podcast at. This is your
Speaker 1: co host A j Holiday two point Oh. Y'all follow
Speaker 1: me on Instagram? Did you you tell them the website?
Speaker 1: They know what I mean? Www that we talked back
Speaker 1: Anti dot Kazam. All right, y'all's me official tam Bam.
Speaker 1: Once again. I love y'all, and I really appreciate y'all
Speaker 1: for tuning in and listen to share our truth unapologetically
Speaker 1: every week with y'all. So y'all come back and see us.
Speaker 1: Follow me on Instagram. I'm official tam BAM. Remember to
Speaker 1: speak now and never hold your peace by