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Speaker 1: I'm Bradley Johnson. What's one eight hundred duy away? Not

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Speaker 1: getting behind the wheel after drinking is the best choice,

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Speaker 1: But if you're pulled over, the next best choice it's

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Speaker 1: to call one eight hundred duy away the twenties. This

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Speaker 1: is Andrew. Hey, Andrew, Hi, who's this. You don't know me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm one of the custodians at your work. Oh okay.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling because I need to talk with you about

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Speaker 1: something very serious. Oh okay, So a few weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: I just happened to notice you taking something from the

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Speaker 1: office that didn't belong to you. Look, man, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. Can you get to the point.

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Speaker 1: I'll gladly get to the point. How about that toilet paper? Huh?

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I'm talking about the fact

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Speaker 1: that you've been stealing to toilet paper from the office.

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Speaker 1: You are out of your mind, like you what this is?

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Speaker 1: This is insane? What is this? Well, that's not the

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Speaker 1: first time somebody's described me as insane. I don't doubt it.

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Speaker 1: I will tell you this. I saw you the other

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Speaker 1: night putting toilet paper in your duffel bag before you

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Speaker 1: left the building, and you tried to walk away all

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Speaker 1: innocent looking, didn't you. Okay? I mean, this is this

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Speaker 1: some kind of joke? Steve put you out to this.

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Speaker 1: You're a thief and I followed you home. What that's right?

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Speaker 1: When I saw you take that toilet paper, I decided

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Speaker 1: to investigate, So I followed you home. When I waited,

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Speaker 1: and I waited, and I waited until it got dark,

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Speaker 1: and I looked through your window and watched you put

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Speaker 1: those rolls of toilet paper away, and it made me

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Speaker 1: so angry. Look, man, if this is some kind of joke,

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Speaker 1: like this is not funny anymore, you need to knock

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Speaker 1: it off right now. It stopped being funny the moment

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Speaker 1: you stole toilet paper from the office. That is not

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Speaker 1: your toilet paper. Whoa man. You need to calm down,

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Speaker 1: Like do you know what you're talking about this? Obviously?

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm very calm right now. You should see me

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Speaker 1: when I lose it. You don't sound tom. You've been

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Speaker 1: pretty aggressive, and I like, I don't. I don't are

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Speaker 1: a thief and I won't stand for it. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to tell your boss that you've been stealing toilet paper

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Speaker 1: for months. Go ahead, it's toilet paper. He's not going

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Speaker 1: to care about it. Nobody does except for you apparently.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, then you don't think he's gonna care. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think anybody will. Okay, well then

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Speaker 1: how about I burned down your house? Look you that

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Speaker 1: got your attention, didn't it. Yeah? It did, because that's

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Speaker 1: a crazy person thing to say. What the hell is

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Speaker 1: wrong with you? Whoever? This is like, this is insane,

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Speaker 1: this is illegal what you're doing, and you are threatening me,

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Speaker 1: and this is utter. Oh the thing about toilet paper

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Speaker 1: andrew it burns pretty easily. Look, man, you are a

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Speaker 1: full fledged psychopath. However, you've got this number losing. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I am a full fledged psychopath, full fledged. This is insane.

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Speaker 1: You stay away from my house. You're stay away from me.

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Speaker 1: You do not call me. You stay away from my

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Speaker 1: toilet paper, or I'll make your life a living hell.

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Speaker 1: It is just toilet paper, man. Okay, Well that's all

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Speaker 1: I wanted. I just wanted you to admit it. That's

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Speaker 1: all fine. I took it. I took it. Okay, now

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Speaker 1: there I admitted it. He perfect. Your boss Eric is

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Speaker 1: going to be so happy that you admitted it. What. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because This is actually Jewel from Brook and Jewel in

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Speaker 1: the morning doing a phone tap on you and your

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Speaker 1: boss set you up. He told me that you've been

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Speaker 1: taking toilet paper. I wanted to mess with you, but

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Speaker 1: well that's what happens when he's still toilet paper, you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes your house gets burned down. Yeah. Also, your boss

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Speaker 1: said don't take the toilet anymore. He was serious about

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Speaker 1: that part. Yeah, okay, but being like one hundred percent serious,

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Speaker 1: he wanted me to tell you to stop taking the

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Speaker 1: toilet paper. Okay, so don't take it anymore? Really, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you take it anymore. Okay. Um. Also,

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Speaker 1: if you take it, I'll burn your house down. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I guess that that was a That part was a joke.

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Speaker 1: That part was a joke. Oh yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: figured that that part was. But all right if he

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Speaker 1: if he doesn't, yeah, I can stop, okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: I might just burn your house down anyway, right, So

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Speaker 1: can I just hang up the phone now? Is that cooler? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It's all good man, Okay, all right, by up every

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Speaker 1: morning five