1 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramos and this is the Street 2 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy 3 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that in mind, 4 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 1: let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration. 5 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: Now today we're gonna be focusing around It's not necessarily 6 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: a stoic idea or a stoic principle, but I think 7 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: we all just need to reminder every once in a 8 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: while all about knowing our worth, right. And the song 9 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: that immediately came to mind when I began thinking about 10 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: this idea was Drake zero to one hundred, and in 11 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: the record, he says, know yourself, know your worth. I've 12 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: been Steph Curry with the shot, been cooking with the 13 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: sauce Chef Curry with the pot boy. And obviously this 14 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: is just Drake in his bag, like cocky Drake declaring 15 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: that he is that dude. Right, he knows who he 16 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: is therefore understands what he brings to the table. He 17 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: is that guy. And I'm not saying that all of 18 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: us can get away with being so braggadocious in our 19 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: everyday lives, but I do think we kind of have 20 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: to walk around with a bit of a chip on 21 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 1: our shoulder, right for our own benefit. And not to 22 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: say that you allow it to affect the way that 23 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: you treat others or that you walk around with this 24 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: air of superiority. But I do think having confidence in yourself, 25 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: your ability, understanding your value and all that you bring 26 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: to the table is essential to making sure that you 27 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: are getting out of life all that you deserve, right. 28 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: And this could be in your career standing up for 29 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: yourself to a boss or coworker. It could be in 30 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: a relationship where you are not getting, you know, what 31 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: you need out of a particular romantic or platonic friendship. 32 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: You know, and you're sort of just settling for something 33 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: because you know, you're not really confident in yourself, right, 34 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: Whereas if you stepped into your authenticity, stepped into being 35 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: proud of who you are and knowing your own worth, 36 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: you would be getting far more out of the relationships 37 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: that you have in your life, or at least you'd 38 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: be demanding far more of those relationships, right. And this 39 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: leads perfectly to a quote from one of the stokes, 40 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: Marcus Aurelius, where he says, don't you see how much 41 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: you have to offer, and yet you settle for less. 42 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: And I think this is a reality check that we 43 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: all need at particular times and points in our lives. Right, 44 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: we all have to take a stand for ourselves. Right, 45 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: we all have to value our quality of life and 46 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: know our worth enough to take said stand if we 47 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: really want to be living a happy and fulfilled life. 48 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: And I say we because I'm included in this, Right, 49 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: I'm not above that. I relate to this concept quite deeply, 50 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: which is probably why I'm like bringing it up subconsciously 51 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: on the show. For me, I've been doing a lot 52 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: of self work and sort of reflecting on relationships and 53 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: those being romantic but also friendships even from when I 54 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: was a kid, right, and recognizing people that I grew 55 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: up with and friendships that I had out of convenience 56 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: as a kid. They weren't necessarily, you know, quality friendships. 57 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: They didn't bring out the best in me. They weren't 58 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: people who who were pushing me to be better or 59 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: who were uplifting me. Right. I recognized that oftentimes in 60 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: a lot of my personal relationships that I had as 61 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: a kid, I made myself smaller just for the sake 62 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: of fitting in, Right, just for appeasing other kids' egos, 63 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: and so they would bring me in to be a 64 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: part of the group, right, to be a part of 65 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: that popular, cool crowd. And again it didn't produce quality 66 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: friendships and actually created a mindset going into adulthood where 67 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: I continued the same behavior and I was afraid to 68 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: show up authentically in you know, my career, in my 69 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: personal relationships, right, and I didn't have people that I 70 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: would genuinely consider to be quality friends, right, or I 71 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,799 Speaker 1: wasn't feeling fulfilled in the roles that I was having 72 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: in my career because I kept dumbing myself down for 73 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 1: the sake of other people. And you know, for me, 74 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: it really is sort of not a surprise as to 75 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: why kind of everything kind of turned around in my 76 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 1: career pretty quickly once I began being far more outspoken 77 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: about what I wanted and what I was willing to 78 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: accept and what I wouldn't accept. Right. Once I began 79 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: setting those boundaries in my career, everything turned around for me, right, 80 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: And even now, you know, in my personal life when 81 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: it comes to dating, you know, I am fairly recently 82 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 1: single and having a lot of learning experiences about you know, 83 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: sort of setting healthy boundaries, right, and having confidence in 84 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: in who I am and where I am in my 85 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: life life, and not settling for anything less than I 86 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: believe I deserve. A thing I learned recently in like 87 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 1: therapy when it comes to breaking down how I enter 88 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: romantic relationships. And I apologize when we get into personal here, 89 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: but I think it's great to kind of hear real 90 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: life examples. But what I recognize when it comes to 91 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: romantic relationships is I was like a fixer, so I 92 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: would always see people's potential, and that's actually something I 93 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: would see even in their professional life business partners. I 94 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: would always buy into people's potential and then it would 95 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: end up budding me in the ass at the end 96 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: of the day because I'm trying to make them live 97 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,279 Speaker 1: up to something that they're not even ready for or 98 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: that they don't even see in themselves. Right. And I 99 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: think that's sort of what we're talking about today when 100 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,239 Speaker 1: it comes to knowing your worth is not allowing yourself 101 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: to be dragged down by other people who are not 102 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: at the same level as you, who are not as 103 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: committed as you. Right that we've heard the words of Drake, 104 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: we have heard from one of the Stokes, Marcus Aurelius, 105 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: you have heard some very personal details about my own life. 106 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: Now let's talk about how you can make it your 107 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: mantra for today. But first let's take a quick break 108 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: and then we'll be right back. So today we are 109 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: talking all about knowing your worth, right, and we've heard 110 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: from Drake, we have heard from Marcus Aurelius, you have 111 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: heard from myself. Now let's talk about how you can 112 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: make it your mantra for today. First and foremost, it 113 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: starts with boundaries. You have to let people know what 114 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: you are willing to accept and what you won't accept, right. 115 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: I think people are always going to test you. They 116 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: are always going to push, They're always going to take 117 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: advantage if you allow them to. And setting a healthy boundary. 118 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: Knowing what you want out of life, what you want 119 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: out of a particular situation, be it a romantic relationship, 120 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: be it a business partnership, a friendship, whatever it might be. 121 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: You have to sort of set the criteria for it right. 122 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: You have to say, this is where I am in life, 123 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: this is what I'm willing to invest, what I'm willing 124 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: to do. You have to meet me there. And then 125 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: the second part of that is, once you've sort of 126 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: established this healthy boundary, you have to believe in yourself 127 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 1: enough to have the confidence and the strength to walk 128 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: away from situations that are not living up to the 129 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: quality that you know you deserve. And that's the difficult 130 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: part because we will rationalized it. Oftentimes we will sit 131 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: there and make excuses for people, or make excuses for 132 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: our job, our bosses, our coworkers, whatever it might be. 133 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: We will fall in love with someone's potential rather than 134 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: who they actually are, showing us that they are right. 135 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: And you have to kind of do this one two 136 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: punch right of setting the boundary but then having the 137 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: strength to walk away if necessary. Right. And I love 138 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: this quote I pulled from the blog Stoic Coffee Break, 139 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: and they say, you let other people know how you 140 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: want to be treated, right. And I think that is 141 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: a perfect way to summarize all that we're talking about, right, Because, 142 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: whether it is intentional or not, you're showing people how 143 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: they can treat you. If you're not standing up for yourself, 144 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: if you are not being confident, if you are not 145 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: speaking with conviction, people are going to pick up on 146 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: that and they're going to treat you accordingly. Right. So 147 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: again to recap all we're talking about today, you have 148 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: Drake being Drake, you know, declaring his his greatness. You know, 149 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: he's Steph Curry with the shot, right and know yourself, 150 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: know you're worth right, He's he's declaring like he is 151 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: that guy, right, that ultimate confidence in himself and demanding 152 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: nothing less than what he deserves, what he knows he deserves. Right, 153 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: he understands again the value that he brings to the table. 154 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: And all of us have value that we bring to 155 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: the table. Right. And Marcus Aureli is in plain words saying, 156 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: don't you see how much you have to offer and 157 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: yet you still settle for less? Like every time I 158 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: read that, that is like a kick in the stomach 159 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: and a reminder of like, stop making yourself small to 160 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: you know, allow other people to feel more comfortable or 161 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: to fit into some little box that's been arranged ahead 162 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: of time. Right, you have to stay true to yourself 163 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: and understand the value that you bring to the table. 164 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: And even for myself, it's a constant reminder. I fall 165 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: in love with people's potential and I need to make 166 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: it a point to be cognizant of the person that 167 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: is showing up in front of me, and that is 168 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: how I judge them. That is how I choose whether 169 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: or not they have a place in my life. Right, 170 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: and then I have to have the confidence. Right. That's 171 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,200 Speaker 1: what we talk about. You set that boundary, you say, 172 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: this is what I expect out of somebody. This is 173 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: what I know I'm worth, what I bring to the table, 174 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: and what I should be receiving in return. You declare 175 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: that and then taking it a step further. When you 176 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: feel like you're not getting what you deserve, when you 177 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,599 Speaker 1: feel like somebody is overstepping that boundary that you have 178 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: laid out, you have to have the confidence in yourself. 179 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: You have to know your own worth and walk away 180 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: unapologetically from any situation that is not giving you all 181 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: that you feel like you deserve. Now, with that said, 182 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: thank you so much for checking out the Street Stoke Podcast. 183 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: Do your best to apply these concepts that we've discussed 184 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: into your everyday life and that will catch you next time. 185 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: The Street Stoke Podcast is a production of Iheart's Michael 186 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: Dura Podcast Network.