1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,160 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tied. We got it for you. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: Hib it is strawberry letter. I think this is one 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: you're gonna like. You like the subject anyway? The subject? 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 1: All right? Play that title nice and smooth for me. 5 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: Subject strippers need love and support. To Dear Stephen Shirley. 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: I am a twenty five year old college student. I 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: planned to go to medical school and become a doctor someday. 8 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: After my last relationship went sour, I didn't think I 9 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: was going to fall in love ever again. To my surprise, 10 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: I met someone and fell in love again. He's forty 11 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 1: one years old, and I thought we were perfect together. 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: We waited close to a year before we became intimate. However, 13 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: when I told him of my real occupation, he did 14 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: not want to be with me. I am an exotic dancer. 15 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: I told him, I'm just doing this right now to 16 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: support myself while I'm in school. I will be graduating soon. 17 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 1: He knows the type of person I am, and he 18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: knows how deeply I love him. He said, if he 19 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: was in a position to take care of me financially, 20 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 1: he would and I could stop dancing. Recently, he broke 21 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: up with me because of jealousy and trust issues. Why 22 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: is it that men want women to hold them down 23 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: with love, support and patience when times are tough, but 24 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: most men aren't willing to do the same thing for us. 25 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: Now he wants us to still be friends. I'm not 26 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: sure where to put him in my life, or if 27 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,199 Speaker 1: he should be in my life at all. I believe 28 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: in myself and I believe in my dream of becoming 29 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: a doctor. It saddens me that he isn't willing to 30 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: stick by me. What should I do? Please help? Okay, Well, 31 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: I I applaud the fact that you believe in yourself, 32 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: and I applaud the fact that you believe in your 33 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: dream of becoming a doctor. Stay in school, and and 34 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: please do that and get that done. He sounds serious 35 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: as far as that's concerned, and and I'm happy about that. Um. Yeah, 36 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: it saddens you that he won't stick by you. But 37 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 1: you know, it's a double standard. I mean, I hate 38 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: to say, it's just a double standard. We can't do 39 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: what they do. They don't like us doing what other 40 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 1: women do if we uh are in a relationship with them, 41 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: I'll put it like that. And usually I would say 42 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: if he doesn't support you, or more importantly, if he 43 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: doesn't trust you, you don't need him in your life. 44 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: But then again, this is very different. It's hard for um, 45 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: your man who loves you very much, to go along 46 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: with you dancing exotically or if you're stripping. What if 47 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: there's a difference in that in front of other men, 48 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: I mean most men, unless they're really really evolved into 49 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: something else. I don't know. Uh, it's just hard for 50 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,360 Speaker 1: him to see you, you know, dancing like this in 51 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: front of other men. You didn't say if you were 52 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: you know, what you wore or you know whatever, if 53 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: your top, you didn't say anything like that. You didn't 54 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: say that. But I'm just saying, your man isn't gonna 55 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: be able to handle that, just strip to strip? Yeah yeah, 56 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: but she said she was an exotic dancer. She said 57 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,239 Speaker 1: that in the letter I'm an exotic dancer and the 58 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: subject yeah, which run yeah exoctic, Yeah exactly. But I'm 59 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 1: just saying, so, you know, that's the issue he has 60 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: issues with that, not the fact that you're trying to 61 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: earn extra money for school or not that he doesn't 62 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: believe in your dream of becoming a doctor. But he's 63 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: just not gonna be with you dancing naked or topless 64 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: or whatever it is in front of other men. He's 65 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: old school, Steve. Well, Shirley is exactly right. I mean, 66 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: she's spot on with her response. It's kind of hard 67 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: for me to add to this, but let me give 68 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: you the male perspective here in case that's what you need. 69 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: If you're a twenty five year old Cottege student and 70 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,279 Speaker 1: you planning on going to school to become a doctor someday, 71 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: then let me ask you this question, what does stripping 72 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: have to do with being a doctor. See what young 73 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: people oftentimes failed to realize and remember is that the 74 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: things you are doing today are going to show up 75 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: and manifest itself in your future. If you're doing some 76 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: bad stuff today, it is going to show up and 77 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: manifest itself somewhere in your future. It always happens. When 78 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: you develop a criminal record as an eighteen year old, 79 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,799 Speaker 1: it's over with. You committed it, you did it, you apologize, 80 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: you got centers, you served, or you did your community service, whatever. 81 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: But let guess what, at thirty you still gonna have 82 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: to pay for that. That's the problem with all sin. 83 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: It costs you more than you want to pay and 84 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: make you stay longer than you want to stay. Little sister, 85 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: you twenty five years old. You're trying to tell me 86 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 1: there ain't nothing else you could do to become a doctor. 87 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: Let's just say, let's just say you complete medical school. 88 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: Let's just say you get an internship at a big hospital, 89 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 1: and you all ready to start your career. Somebody at 90 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 1: that strip club snuck a phone in and took your picture. 91 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: All of a sudden, your pictures show up somewhere and 92 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: the people at the hospital see it. Your career as 93 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: a doctor is done. Done. It's over. And don't think 94 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 1: it can't happen, because it happens all the time in technology. 95 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: These dudes got phones. They secretly recording girls while they're dancing, 96 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 1: so they ain't play it back at the house. Girl, 97 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: what does being a stripper have to do with you 98 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: being a doctor. I don't care how good the money is. 99 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: All money is not good money. You're twenty five. You 100 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: hurting yourself now. Let's get to the forty one year 101 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 1: old man that you date patiently waited you for a 102 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: year before you got physical with him. Everything going fine 103 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: until he found out what your occupation was. You don't 104 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,160 Speaker 1: get it. Why won't me and allow us? Weird? They 105 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: expect us? Wait a minute, hold up, let's just flip 106 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: the script. Let's just say you met this man and 107 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: you were in love with him, and then you found 108 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:45,239 Speaker 1: out he was a pimp. Let's just say that. Would 109 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: you stay with him knowing he was a pimp? Oh, 110 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: let's just say you fell in love with this man 111 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: and you found out he was a dope boy. Would 112 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: you stay with him because he was a dope boy? 113 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 1: And he told you the reason he up and at 114 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: a reason he's selling dope. It's because he gonna be 115 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: a doctor one day. Just trying to make extra money. Huh, 116 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: that's all, and it's good money. M I'll be back 117 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 1: with a little bit more to try to I don't 118 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: see it. What are you shaking your head for it? Now? 119 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: We're talking? Okay? Subject all right? The subject that strippers 120 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: need love and support. Two. We'll be back with part 121 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: two of Steve's response to today's Strawberry letter. Let's get 122 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: to part two of your response to today's Strawberry letters. 123 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: Strippers need loving. This girl the metis forty one year 124 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: old man. She in love with him. He loved U. 125 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: They talked about having a life together. All of a 126 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: sudden he finds out what she really does because now 127 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: she's stripping. Now you'ven't justified because you're an exotic dancer. 128 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: I told him, I'm just doing this right now to 129 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: support myself while I'm in school. I'll be graduating soon. 130 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: He knows the type of person I am and how 131 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: deeply I love him. No, no, no, he thought he 132 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: knew the type of person you word. He didn't know 133 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: that you were willing to take your clothes off in 134 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: front of strange men and dance around provocatively. Now, I'm sorry. 135 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: It ain't ever fitting to be that. That listened to me. 136 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: Most men want somebody that belonged to them and don't 137 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: want they Well, now, look, let me explain something to you. 138 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: There are examples of women who used to strip. Yeah, 139 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: I think it's easier for a man to accept the 140 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: fact that you used to strip than it is for 141 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: a man to accept the fact that you currently stripped. 142 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: Everybody gotta pass in the history. Everybody makes mistakes. Lord 143 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: knows out of made good lords some but okay, and 144 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: forgiveness is in order for most. It's hard to forgive 145 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: a person who continues to do the thing that they're 146 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 1: asking you to forge give them. For example, you keep 147 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: crashing my car, I'll let you use it. You keep crashing. 148 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: Every time you come back. You say I'm sorry, I'll 149 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: give it to you again, and you crash it again. 150 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you think I'm gonna give you my car. 151 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,439 Speaker 1: It is easy for a man to forgive the fact 152 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: that you stripped if you're not stripping anymore. It happens 153 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: all the time. People have great lives after that. But 154 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: you are continuing the stripping, wanting him to support you. 155 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: He will support you, he will not support the stripping. 156 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: It ain't no. Why is men always asking no? That's 157 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: not the case. But you cannot ask a person to 158 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: support something that goes against who or what they believe 159 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: just because that's what you believe. You cannot do it. 160 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, sister. And the reason I have no jokes 161 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 1: for you right now is because you're twenty five and 162 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: I happen to have four daughters, and I am telling 163 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: you for real, you are making a tremendous mistake. I 164 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: don't care what's happening to day two thousand and eighteen. 165 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: People kill me that times difference. You old school, Steve. Okay, cool, 166 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: calling what you want to call. But it is what 167 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: it is and it's not gonna change. But like my 168 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: father always told my sisters, and I never forgot this. 169 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 1: He set my sisters down with my two older brothers 170 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: one day. I was a little boy. He wasn't even 171 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: talking to me, and I just heard him tell them, 172 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: listen to me, Mona and Polo Ka. You can't do 173 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,680 Speaker 1: what I do is still be a lady. That's just 174 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: the standards. You can't do what I do and still 175 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: be a lady. He sound sorry, He's I ain't make 176 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: this up, just just how it is, and that's how 177 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: he is, young lady, so keep that in mind. If 178 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,319 Speaker 1: I were you, I would stop stripping before you lose 179 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: a man and a potential career, before the stripping gets 180 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: out ahead of you and you have to pay for 181 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,319 Speaker 1: it later on. Alright, Steve, we gotta get out of here. 182 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: You can email us or Instagram and your thoughts on 183 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter at My Girls Shirley and don't forget 184 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: to join me today at one m Eastern time for 185 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter Live after show on Facebook. You're listening 186 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show H