WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: We’re Being Watched

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<v Speaker 1>Are you single and feeling out of the loop? Put

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<v Speaker 1>away that mouse and get out of the house. Join

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<v Speaker 1>in the Loop, Seattle's brand new activities club just for singles.

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<v Speaker 1>Put in the Loop singles dot Com today rooking Jim

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<v Speaker 1>Bulls Second Date Update. It's always nerve racking to be

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<v Speaker 1>back on the dating scene when you haven't dated in

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<v Speaker 1>a while. We deal with a lot of people that

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<v Speaker 1>have that problem on the second date update because they

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<v Speaker 1>haven't dated for whatever reason, and you finally get it

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<v Speaker 1>back out there and things are kind of difficult. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the problem that the guy on the phone is having today.

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<v Speaker 1>He hasn't dated in over two years for a very

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<v Speaker 1>good reason. Darren, how are you. I'm doing good. How

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<v Speaker 1>are you guys? Doing pretty good? Thanks for your email,

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for agreing to do a second date update. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>You said that you hadn't dated in two years. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>just about over two years because my wife had passed away.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man, Well, you know I had to take the time,

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<v Speaker 1>and I felt like after that two years, I was

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<v Speaker 1>ready to try to give it a go again. And

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<v Speaker 1>so I did kind of what everybody does, and I

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<v Speaker 1>got an online dating profile. Okay, and the girl that

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<v Speaker 1>you want us to call today. What's her name? Her

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<v Speaker 1>name is Stacy? Stacy, And what attracted you to Stacy

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<v Speaker 1>on her internet dating profile? First and foremost, as though

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<v Speaker 1>she was a very attractive girl, and I just really

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<v Speaker 1>kind of liked how she represented herself there. And we

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<v Speaker 1>sent a couple of messages back and forth, and then

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<v Speaker 1>we agreed on having dinner. And can I ask this

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<v Speaker 1>was your actual very first date since the passing of

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<v Speaker 1>your wife two years ago. Yeah, first date in the

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<v Speaker 1>past two years. It's got to be a lot of pressure,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's got to feel weird to be back on

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<v Speaker 1>the dating scene. I mean yeah, I mean I was nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no no question pull disclosure. I kind of had

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<v Speaker 1>to psych myself up for it a little bit in

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<v Speaker 1>the mirror, let myself know that this is going to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>This is great. You're looking good. You know, you gave

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<v Speaker 1>yourself like a coach's pep talk before before I set

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<v Speaker 1>myself on the front line. Yeah, just a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>doing whatever you gotta do. Man. I try and do

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<v Speaker 1>that a little bit every day. I'm saying, just breathe,

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<v Speaker 1>just breathe through it, get through dinner. It's gonna be great,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, but I felt like I was ready and

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<v Speaker 1>I felt like it actually went pretty well. We had

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<v Speaker 1>good conversation, and I was a little sweaty. When you

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<v Speaker 1>say a little sweaty, how sweaty do you mean? I

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<v Speaker 1>mean I saw people going down my back. We could

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<v Speaker 1>say that, I got but was it going down your forehead?

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<v Speaker 1>And was your clothing soaked? I mean there was some wiping. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, So you were sweaty and nervous. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>think your date picked up on that? She did? I

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<v Speaker 1>mean I was. I kind of had to acknowledge it

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<v Speaker 1>after a little bit. Was there like one moment that

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<v Speaker 1>stands out to you, is like the best moment of

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<v Speaker 1>the date? Yeah, I guess A nice moment was just

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<v Speaker 1>sitting that dinner when her entrees came and just I

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<v Speaker 1>was nervous, and I knew I was putting that energy

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<v Speaker 1>out there and there was a little bit of attention,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just acknowledged it and said, hey, I'm nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>You are really attractive and my fault my bad. And

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<v Speaker 1>we were able to kind of laugh about it, and

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<v Speaker 1>she said she understood, and you know, it just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of changed how I felt about the evening, and I

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<v Speaker 1>felt like she was understanding of the whole situation of

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<v Speaker 1>my life. That's good. If you wasn't understanding about that,

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't gonna want to be calling her back at all. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's exactly how it felt. On a scale

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<v Speaker 1>of one to ten. Since you've been out of the

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<v Speaker 1>dating world for a little while, what would you give

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<v Speaker 1>this date? I mean I I would give it a

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<v Speaker 1>strong seven eight strong seven eight. Do you feel like

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<v Speaker 1>she felt the same way, though, I mean, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>I thought so, I really thought so. So that's I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's why I emailed into the show. And how did

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<v Speaker 1>you end things with her? I drove her back to

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<v Speaker 1>her place and we were saying good night, and she

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<v Speaker 1>had kind of put her hand out, and I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>admit it was awkward. I'm awkward. I don't know. And

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<v Speaker 1>I just I literally said out loud, or can we hug?

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<v Speaker 1>And I just did it before I got an answer.

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<v Speaker 1>Yesterday's all right. I think that's not necessarily a bad thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's a hug. It's not like you said

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<v Speaker 1>screw it and just like started trying to make out

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<v Speaker 1>with her. I mean, I'm six foot four and she's

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<v Speaker 1>you know, got to be five four, so I'm much

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<v Speaker 1>taller than her. All right, so she's tiny and you're

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<v Speaker 1>a big duty. You just engulfed her with your big arms.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess. So yeah, do you feel like that creeped

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<v Speaker 1>her out? I hope it didn't. I feel like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>that's not going to end everything is a giant bear hug.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope not. Honestly, I was like, you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>gotta get out of here, not do something else, operate.

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<v Speaker 1>How clear were you with her that this was like

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<v Speaker 1>your first date and did you bring up that your

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<v Speaker 1>wife had passed? Yeah, you know, we've brought it up

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<v Speaker 1>just because she asked, like dating a lot? Or why

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<v Speaker 1>are you dating? And I kind of had to bring

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<v Speaker 1>it up. I didn't want to lie and have it

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<v Speaker 1>to be something else, and so I just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned it and she seemed okay with it. How many

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<v Speaker 1>times have you tried to get ahold of her after

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<v Speaker 1>your day? Well, like two days later, hadn't heard anything.

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<v Speaker 1>So I sent her a text that was said, you know, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>it was great to see you. How's your tad going?

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<v Speaker 1>And uh, I didn't hear anything. So I was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I should give her a call. So I gave

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<v Speaker 1>her one call and left her voice message that was

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<v Speaker 1>basically the same. You send her another text like what

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<v Speaker 1>about the hug? Don't you remember the great hug? How

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<v Speaker 1>dare you do this to me? Even though I did

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<v Speaker 1>not bring that up again? Okay, do you do anything?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you haven't dated in two years? Why not

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<v Speaker 1>just like chuck this one up to? Well, that was

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<v Speaker 1>the first time out. We're going to give it another

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<v Speaker 1>go with somebody else next. It just felt right, It

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<v Speaker 1>felt right, and you know, I figured if I think

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<v Speaker 1>it feels right, I should probably go after them. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well we'll play a song comeback Caller, and then get

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<v Speaker 1>your second date update. Okay, all right, so I'm good,

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<v Speaker 1>all right brooking jubil in the morning second date. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't make this promise very often in second date updates,

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<v Speaker 1>but I promised that I'm gonna get the guy who's

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone a second date today. What Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>promise him, no matter what, because I like him. He's

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<v Speaker 1>a nice guy, He's been through some stuff, and he

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<v Speaker 1>deserves to get a date, if not with the girl

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<v Speaker 1>that we're about to call for him with somebody who

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<v Speaker 1>texts in I don't know, or if I have to

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<v Speaker 1>put on a dress and go on on a date

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<v Speaker 1>with him, I don't care. I am guaranteeing Darren that

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<v Speaker 1>you are going to get a date out of this

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<v Speaker 1>phone call we're about to make, Okay, I hope, So

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<v Speaker 1>all right, you know what, I kind of hope, she says, no,

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<v Speaker 1>so that I can go out with Yeah. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>just tuning in for the second day up date, Darren

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<v Speaker 1>wants us to call a girl named Stacy. They met online.

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<v Speaker 1>He hasn't dated in a couple of years for good reason.

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<v Speaker 1>His wife passed away and he was ready to date again,

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<v Speaker 1>so he decided to go online and he met Stacy

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<v Speaker 1>day went out for dinner. He was a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>nervous and that showed He's sweating and just a little

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<v Speaker 1>like awkward during the whole date. He says. The date

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<v Speaker 1>ended with a very big, sweaty hug from him, that

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<v Speaker 1>she didn't really seem like she wanted. So, Darren, you're

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<v Speaker 1>ready to make the phone call? Oh yeah, let's do

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<v Speaker 1>it all right, man, here we go. Be confident. He've

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<v Speaker 1>got one hundred percent guaranteed success. Sorry, yeah, look at

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<v Speaker 1>it this way. It doesn't matter what she says, Darren,

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<v Speaker 1>You're still getting a date. Could be with a dude,

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<v Speaker 1>but you're still getting a date. I mean, I am

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<v Speaker 1>a big fan. There you go. Okay, I'm gonna dial

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<v Speaker 1>the phone of her right now so we can get

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<v Speaker 1>her on the phone. Hello, Alli, can I speak to

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<v Speaker 1>Stacy please? This is Stacy. Hey Stacy, how are you?

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<v Speaker 1>This is Jewel from Brook and Jewel in the Morning. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>it's okay, it's I'm fine. Good, it's good to hear.

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<v Speaker 1>Just calling to check in on you. See how you're doing.

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<v Speaker 1>Courtesy call. Do you ever listen to our show at all? Um?

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<v Speaker 1>I think so. I've listened to a few times. My

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<v Speaker 1>mom really likes it. Cool, all right, how old your mom? Nice?

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<v Speaker 1>That's who we're going for. We kill it the sixty

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<v Speaker 1>one year old mom. So she's the right person that

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<v Speaker 1>we want listening. Stacy, have you ever heard of second

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<v Speaker 1>date update before? What does that mean? That means that

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<v Speaker 1>you recently went out on a date with somebody who

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<v Speaker 1>listens to the show and you haven't been calling them

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<v Speaker 1>back since your date. So they emailed us to get

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<v Speaker 1>you on the phone and ask if they did something wrong. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that's weird. It is kind of weird, but it is

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<v Speaker 1>a segment that we do on our show. And the

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<v Speaker 1>guy's name is Darren. Do you remember going out with Darren? Yeah? Yeah, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>did you like Darren? M Yeah? Yeah, I did. You

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<v Speaker 1>sound very hesitant, Stacy, No, he was weet. I remember

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<v Speaker 1>he was really nice and yeah, it was a fine time. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>If it was a fine time, why haven't you called

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<v Speaker 1>him back after he's texted you and tried to call you? Um,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to, like, you know, put all his

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<v Speaker 1>business out there, but like it was. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we're just not you know, we're kind of a

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<v Speaker 1>different points in our life in regards to the dating

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<v Speaker 1>and things like that. Well, in regards to the putting

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<v Speaker 1>his whole business out there. We talked to Darren and

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<v Speaker 1>he told us everything that he hasn't dated in a

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<v Speaker 1>while because his wife passed away. He also said that

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<v Speaker 1>he was very nervous the entire time and was sweaty

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<v Speaker 1>and gave you an awkward hug at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the day. You know, It's like, I don't know, I

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<v Speaker 1>always think like you get nervous at the beginning of

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<v Speaker 1>the date and you kind of ease into it, but

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<v Speaker 1>it seems kind of like the opposite for him, Like

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<v Speaker 1>he got more nervous as the date went on. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>he was like the most nervous at the very end.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know he like straight up like I asked

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<v Speaker 1>for you he can d me, and then before I

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<v Speaker 1>could respond, he just did it right. You can understand

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<v Speaker 1>the nerves, though, if the dude hasn't dated for two

0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.720
<v Speaker 1>years because of something like sure, yeah, and I you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have like any will towards him at all.

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't think we're really compatible in that way.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, yeah, but he was just nervous. He hasn't

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<v Speaker 1>been out in two years. Look, Stacey, I really want

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<v Speaker 1>to get him a second date with you. That's my

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<v Speaker 1>goal here is to make you go out with him

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<v Speaker 1>again and give him one more shot. Yeah, is to

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<v Speaker 1>force you to go out with him again. Yeah. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>like I totally understand the nerves. But it was like

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<v Speaker 1>we were talking about his ex wife, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm completely understanding. I know how it goes. But like

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<v Speaker 1>essentially what he said was that she is watching over

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<v Speaker 1>him all the time, which at first I thought was

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<v Speaker 1>kind of sweet. And then he said that throughout the

0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:20.440
<v Speaker 1>date he could feel her like aura or her spirit

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<v Speaker 1>at the dinner table, judging me, judging you. Did he

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<v Speaker 1>actually say the words judging you? Yes, he said the

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<v Speaker 1>word judging me, and it freaked me out, like as

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<v Speaker 1>if her spirit is jealous or as in she's hoping

0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:41.280
<v Speaker 1>things go well. I took it as like she was

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<v Speaker 1>like jealous, like she was judging me, Like how dare

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<v Speaker 1>thinking that? I'm like, you know, some easy girl, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>trying to pick up a dude. You know. Maybe, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe he said it wrong. I feel like her presence

0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.520
<v Speaker 1>is around me all the time and she would want

0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.480
<v Speaker 1>me to be doing this. It look it's it's probably

0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.880
<v Speaker 1>a weird thing to say either way, but I doubt

0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:04.880
<v Speaker 1>he was saying, like, my wife who passed away is

0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.040
<v Speaker 1>sitting next to me right now. Her spirit is and

0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.360
<v Speaker 1>it thinks you're a skank, Like I doubt that's why

0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.880
<v Speaker 1>he met by that space. Regardless of any of it,

0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.680
<v Speaker 1>it just really creeped me out. Did you say anything

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:20.080
<v Speaker 1>to him after he brought up the dead wife judging you? No,

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.520
<v Speaker 1>he was just weird. It was just really creepy, and

0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.480
<v Speaker 1>I think he just needs to take some time, Stacy.

0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I hate to get weird on you too, but there

0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.400
<v Speaker 1>is another presence that's listening to this phone call right now.

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:34.280
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean? I mean that Darren is actually

0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.360
<v Speaker 1>on the phone and heard everything that you just said.

0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:45.880
<v Speaker 1>Are you kidding me? No, I'm not. Hey, look I'm

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:47.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I had no idea that you would like

0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 1>be listening to this. They called me out of nowhere,

0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, like I'm sorry. I mean, they're okay, Like

0:11:55.440 --> 0:12:00.400
<v Speaker 1>are you really upset? Like I mean, you know always,

0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:04.479
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's fine, it's good. I guess, well, I'm

0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:07.040
<v Speaker 1>really sorry, but I know that you were really nervous,

0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.040
<v Speaker 1>and like I you know, I felt like I was

0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:12.240
<v Speaker 1>as patient as I possibly could be. But it's just

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of weird. You know. It's weird to like go

0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.079
<v Speaker 1>on a date with somebody and like have the person

0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.400
<v Speaker 1>say that they're dead. Wife is judging me? You know.

0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.840
<v Speaker 1>It's like my uncle passed away last year, and I

0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:23.920
<v Speaker 1>can't just say, like, oh my uncle Bob is you

0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:28.120
<v Speaker 1>know judging you. You have to understand how that would

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:31.640
<v Speaker 1>freak someone out. Well, but it was like a good thing,

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.720
<v Speaker 1>like she was it was good that she was there

0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.679
<v Speaker 1>and good that like she approved of you, you know,

0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.960
<v Speaker 1>like she liked you, And I felt like if she

0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:44.160
<v Speaker 1>liked you, then this is a good thing. That's kind

0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:45.679
<v Speaker 1>of weird, Okay, I just don't want to know what

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.480
<v Speaker 1>your ex wife is thinking. Well, can we do it again?

0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.280
<v Speaker 1>And like we can go out again? And I mean

0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.400
<v Speaker 1>I could leave her at home, you know, could we

0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:59.400
<v Speaker 1>can we make it happen? Look, Darren, like the whole

0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.680
<v Speaker 1>spiritual thing, like it just kind of freaked me out. Look, Stacy,

0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.680
<v Speaker 1>you're really screwing the second date up date up for

0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.240
<v Speaker 1>me because I promised Darren that I would get him

0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:09.000
<v Speaker 1>a second date with you. Will you go out with

0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Darren one more time? I will pay for a second date. No,

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:17.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, I appreciate it. I appreciate your time. But now, okay, Well,

0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:20.120
<v Speaker 1>at least Darren learned a little bit of a lesson here.

0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:22.800
<v Speaker 1>And you know, sure, next time you go out on

0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:26.400
<v Speaker 1>a date, don't bring your dead wife's spirit or just

0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:31.400
<v Speaker 1>make her wait in the car or something. And I'm

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.319
<v Speaker 1>saying that because you know, the promise I made you

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:34.599
<v Speaker 1>at the beginning of this was you were going to

0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:37.120
<v Speaker 1>get a second date with somebody, no matter who it is,

0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:38.960
<v Speaker 1>and I don't want you to be awkward when you

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.040
<v Speaker 1>and I go out. It looks like I gotta pick

0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:46.040
<v Speaker 1>out a nice evening dress, don't I. Darren, you better

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.280
<v Speaker 1>look nice in the morning.