1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,399 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 2: Today's Therapy Thursday is Nick Pigeon. She's a renowned motivational speaker, 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 2: accomplished author, a business mentor, and a positive psychologist deeply 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 2: committed to igniting joy, personal empowerment, and unstoppable success in 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 2: individuals and their enterprises. So her fascination lies in deciphering 6 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 2: the common barriers that impede progress and uncovering the true 7 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 2: essence of becoming unstoppable with the proven track record. Nick 8 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 2: is a sales luminary who has generated millions through her 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 2: stage presence, online platforms, and phone interactions. So she's got 10 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 2: a book out now called Now Is Your Chance, A 11 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 2: thirty day guide to living your Happiest life. So happiness 12 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 2: is an ultimate goal for so many of us, But 13 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 2: why does it often feel like a destination that is 14 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 2: completely unreachable? 15 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 3: So let's get her on. Hi Nick, good morning, How 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 3: are you? Oh? And you have an accent? I'm here 17 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 3: for it. Well that's why you're so happy because. 18 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 4: He really cool dodgy northern accent. 19 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 3: No I love. So where are you from? Originally? 20 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 4: Then I'm from a place called Newcastle, which is in 21 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 4: the north of England. Yeah, so I've been here for 22 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 4: nine years. 23 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, my fiance Scottish, so uh huh yeah where 24 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 2: in Scotland he's he was born and raised in Glasgow. 25 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 4: Glasgow, Yeah, a couple of months. 26 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 2: Ago we've been Oh really yeah, I mean I thought 27 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 2: I thought I thought it was a cool city. He says, 28 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: it's changed a bit since he's left. But we were 29 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 2: looking at wedding venues in Scotland and the northern part 30 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 2: of Scotland is so beautiful and is that then close 31 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 2: to where you are then from. 32 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 4: Freezing cold as well, which is why I left. 33 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 3: Well that makes sense. And now you're in La. 34 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm in La. And congratulations by the way, oh 35 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 4: thank you amazing, amazing up leveled my perspective. 36 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 3: Well I should. 37 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 2: We we did four days postpartum last time we filmed 38 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 2: our first episode and it was I mean I was 39 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 2: crying over a butcherbox ad so I was like I 40 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 2: cannot be doing this right now, like this is bad. 41 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 3: But anyways, I'm so. 42 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 2: We're so excited to talk to you because you have 43 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: the book How Now is Your Chance? A thirty day 44 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 2: Guide to living your Happiest Life and I'm curious with 45 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 2: so for so long, probably up until I don't know. 46 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 2: I'd say like a year and a half, two years ago. 47 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 2: Nothing could really make me happy until I found happiness 48 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 2: within myself. So I would always try to, like find 49 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 2: a relationship. I'm like, Okay, why am I still so unhappy? 50 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 2: I'm in a relationship, I've got this, I've got that. 51 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 2: And it's that finding your happiness. Where do you find that? 52 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: People struggle with that because I'm like, what I should 53 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: be happy? 54 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 3: And why am I not? 55 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like there's a couple of things. First 56 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 4: of all, it's not side of yourself in the first place, 57 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 4: or putting it into the future as somewhere that you 58 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 4: have to get to you as a destination. So when 59 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 4: you realize, I got asked in an interview a little 60 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 4: while ago, Nick, do you really think it's possible to 61 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 4: be happy in change your mindset in a month? And 62 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 4: it made me laugh because I thought it's possible to 63 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 4: change your mindset in a moment, never mind in a month. 64 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 4: So I think that separation is one thing, and then 65 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 4: I also think the mindset around it is it doesn't 66 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 4: have to be hard. A lot of positive psychology and 67 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 4: happiness teachings are really really simple. What's different is they're 68 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 4: grounded in science, but it's still things that our grandmother's 69 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 4: told us, like be grateful, or slow down and be 70 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 4: present and notice the beauty around you. So when you 71 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 4: recognize that it can be done simply and quickly, we 72 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 4: can actually start to do it. 73 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: Why do you think people try to put their happiness 74 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 2: on So that's my thing now, I'm like, I can't 75 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: make you happy. You have to be happy for yourself, 76 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 2: like no person thing or it's going to make you happy, Like, 77 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 2: you have to find that withinside yourself. So how do 78 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 2: you do that without trying to find that in your 79 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 2: partner or your children or your work. 80 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, I had a Sir Richard Branson shares a story 81 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 4: about his circle theory, and he teaches that if we 82 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 4: just all look after ourselves first and we focus on 83 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 4: making ourselves feel good and then look after our immediate 84 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 4: circle of family and then our next circle of friends, 85 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 4: and then maybe extend it to our neighbors, then the 86 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 4: world would completely transform. And what's actually happening is we're 87 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 4: not resourcing ourselves first, so we're operating from a place 88 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 4: of not having our full capacity or full power or 89 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 4: full potential. So then the way that we show up 90 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 4: for our families or the way we show up in relationships, 91 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 4: we're not actually being our best selves. So we think 92 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 4: that it's selfish to focus on ourselves first, but it's 93 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 4: actually helping fuel our relationships as well. 94 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: Okay, so this isn't a common reoccurring thing. I keep hearing, 95 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 2: so that's how I know I'm supposed to really hear 96 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 2: it this time. So your third time is a term 97 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: for me when it comes to like resourcing yourself and 98 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 2: then moving to the next circle. So in your life, 99 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 2: did this become like a passion project for you because 100 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 2: you felt unsettled, unhappy? Was there a moment in your 101 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 2: life where you thought, this is my turning point and 102 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 2: now I have to kind of like triage myself and 103 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 2: then when does it turn to this book for you? 104 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 4: Yeah? I mean there's been many, many defining moments, and 105 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 4: I think that's something that we get to remember is 106 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 4: life is going to keep on lifing. So I was 107 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 4: originally supposed to be a mechanical and automotive engineer in my. 108 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 3: Career, says the Miss USA. 109 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 5: Everybody that can't see her Nick you're like, your brain 110 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 5: is beautiful, but you are stunning. 111 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 3: It was by the way, I tell again, that's amazing. 112 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 2: You know, that's that's a great career. It's just I 113 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 2: wouldn't see you doing that. 114 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 3: I don't know. 115 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 4: I love what I do, like I really love what 116 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 4: I do now, and I think before when I was 117 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 4: signed up to do that, it was because I'd done 118 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 4: maths and physics at school and my dad was saying 119 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 4: to me, I think you should go and get a 120 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,159 Speaker 4: career where you're going to earn money in a man's world. 121 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 4: But it wasn't the thing that was right for me. 122 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 4: So I found positive psychology through really listening to my 123 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 4: intuition and following this path where there was a conversation 124 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 4: with my ex partner at the time and he'd been 125 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 4: seeing a sports psychologist. He was a professional cricket player, 126 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 4: and he said, when you're looking out on the field, 127 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 4: don't look at the fielders, look for the gaps in 128 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 4: between them instead, and that just hit me. It was 129 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 4: a landslide moment because I thought, how much time do 130 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 4: we focus on the problems instead of on the opportunities. 131 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 4: So I've had a lot of moments in my life. 132 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 4: Whether it's been a relationship breakup, or whether it's been 133 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 4: a sexual assault, or whether it's challenges that we come 134 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:02,119 Speaker 4: across in our daily lives or the businesses that I run. 135 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 4: There's always going to be something. And what I come 136 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 4: back to is I've always been able to navigate those 137 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 4: hard things with way more. 138 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 3: Grace and ease. 139 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 4: Even if it's messy and I feel like I'm doing 140 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 4: a bad job, I know that with the tools of 141 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 4: positive psychology, I'm doing better than I would do without them. 142 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: M It's so interesting because I've noticed that like my 143 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: husband and I we get in very much that rut 144 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: of the just everyday circumstances, not huge deals, like our 145 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: children are healthy. You know, we make money, you know, 146 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: but it's just like we're not making the money he 147 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: thinks we should be making at the time, or if 148 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: the kids are fighting, or if we're fighting because we 149 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: don't agree on how to discipline him, it will change 150 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: his positivity. And we actually had this conversation last night, 151 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: so it's very fitting because I was like, you know, 152 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: I can't be the one, you know, if me and 153 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 1: my child are fighting because she's doing this and then 154 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: you're stressed out and so now you're not happy, Like 155 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: we can't, we cannot be the source of your happiness. 156 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: And so we had this whole conversation about it. But 157 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: it's always just like those little life things, and it's like, 158 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: why can we not just not focus on those and 159 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: just be happy, Like it will go away tomorrow. It 160 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: won't you know, won't make more money tomorrow, they won't 161 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: be fighting with us tomorrow, you know. 162 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 3: And it's just so hard to do though it's fascinating. 163 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 4: I had a friend who broke up with her partner 164 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 4: because they didn't load the dishwasher in the same way. 165 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 5: So that's valid if you ask me, but that's very valid. 166 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 3: Like I put. 167 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: Bowls on the top, my ex used to put them 168 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 2: on the bottom, and I'm like, I don't get it, 169 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 2: but fine, but. 170 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: That's like how that makes us like legitimately not happy 171 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: in a moment, which it happens to everybody, but like 172 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: those little things, how you can literally go from having 173 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: a great day to being just in a bad mood 174 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: and just not joyful. 175 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 2: So then what do you do in that Like what 176 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 2: would be the thing that you would say in your book, Like, Okay, 177 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 2: when that moment happens for all of us right, like 178 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 2: to go, okay, what's the how do I flip this? 179 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 4: One of the super simple tools is coming back to gratitude. 180 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 4: So it's asking yourself, what are three things that I'm 181 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 4: grateful for right now? But we've actually seen new research 182 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 4: that says that it's all so stronger when it's shared. 183 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 4: So if you can laugh in that moment and then say, okay, 184 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 4: like let's take a time out, what's something that you're 185 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 4: grateful for right now? And you go back and forward 186 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,959 Speaker 4: with each other like I do it with my team 187 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,200 Speaker 4: and WhatsApp, and it's super fun. We call it a 188 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 4: gratitude rumpage. And then all of a sudden, you've got 189 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 4: all of these things and your focus is completely shifted 190 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 4: on what's good rather than what's wrong, And then you 191 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 4: can handle any challenge when you're in a better state, 192 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 4: in a better mood, because it helps you to solve 193 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 4: problems more effectively when you're in a positive emotional state. 194 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds great, it's but in a moment 195 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,199 Speaker 2: like that's gonna be so hard to do. 196 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting though. A very good example for us 197 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: last night is and I just it came to me 198 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: when I was talking to my husband. My seven year 199 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: old had given us her Christmas list, and of course 200 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: it was like a million miles long, you know, a 201 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: pony literally it was just the biggest list you've ever seen. 202 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: And so my husband was like immediately kind of went to, well, 203 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: what do you do with that list? Like how do 204 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: you cut it down? How do you just all the 205 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 1: negative things? 206 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 5: You know? 207 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: And that was a couple of days ago. So then 208 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: last night I was like, you know, that really bothered me. 209 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: I was like, I understand that you're thinking da da, 210 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: da da da. I was like, but like, we're really 211 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: lucky that we have a kid that has a Christmas list, 212 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: you know, and that we can get them Christmas gifts. 213 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: And he was like, you're so right, you know, and 214 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: it's just trying. I'm trying to do that and kind 215 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: of flip that like we're lucky that she's able to 216 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: write a list, We're lucky that we have a child 217 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 1: that can write a Christmas list, you know, I mean, 218 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: just so many things, and it really it took him in. 219 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: He was like, wow, I mean that's kind of heavy, 220 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: but at the same time, like you're right, like we 221 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: are lucky that we have that. 222 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 3: True, so truective effective. 223 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, perspective is so important to be able to either 224 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 4: be reflective or step back and take yourself out of 225 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 4: the current situation and current moment. And also when you're 226 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 4: looking at building positive relationships, always being able to take 227 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 4: our part and say, listen, I take responsibility for this. 228 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 4: Didn't show up with my best self there, and like, 229 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 4: let's get curious around how we can do this but 230 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 4: the next time. So having that, like the active constructive 231 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 4: conversation within our relationships that you can help to do 232 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 4: something different if it's coming up again and again and 233 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 4: again as a pattern. 234 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 2: So for the girl that would cry every New Year's 235 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 2: Eve and just hypothetically that we know this girl would 236 00:11:54,880 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 2: ever on this couch, I didn't cry last year, but 237 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 2: it's because, like I did obviously a lot of work, 238 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 2: and you know it was happy and truly like inside happy. 239 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: But for the person that's just struggles to find happiness inside, 240 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 2: what is something that would be a good tip in 241 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 2: the thirty day book that you have. 242 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love developing some sort of ritual or like 243 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 4: personal success system within your day. And I've really learned 244 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 4: that the context matters. So I'm not a mother, but 245 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 4: I was a step mom for two years and that 246 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 4: gave me real perspective on what it's like to be 247 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 4: a mother as well as have businesses. So I used 248 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 4: to teach do a morning ritual and the seven different 249 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 4: things that you have to do, and you have to 250 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 4: do them in this order. Now I've learned that that 251 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 4: might not be possible in your daily reality. So for me, 252 00:12:55,559 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 4: it's really simplifying and doing something and allowing yourself to 253 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 4: celebrate that something that you do. So instead of having 254 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 4: a structured morning ritual, now I have a menu in 255 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 4: the note section of my phone. 256 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 3: It's so basic. 257 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 2: I like that. 258 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you get. 259 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 4: The dopamine hit and it's all. I have forty four 260 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 4: things on there, and it could be anything. It could 261 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 4: be take a walk outside, or take your supplements, or 262 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 4: practice breath work, or do shamanic shaking where you shake 263 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 4: all of the energy and tension out of your body. 264 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 4: It could be text someone with gratitude. And I don't 265 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 4: do forty four a day, but I do some of them, 266 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 4: and then I celebrate the fact that I've done some 267 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,959 Speaker 4: of them and I know that I've done something to 268 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 4: make myself feel good. 269 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that. 270 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 2: Amy had me do that when I was on my 271 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 2: last film because I was going to be away from 272 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 2: the kids for longer than I ever have on a 273 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 2: film set, and I was obviously pregnant. I didn't feel 274 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: good and I was staying kind of a negative place, 275 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: and she said, every day for the next you know, 276 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 2: when you're there on the movie, write a grad to 277 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 2: things that you're grateful for. And it really truly helped. 278 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 2: Because I've never done it before. I was always like, man, 279 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 2: it does not that's not going to work. It's not 280 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 2: gonna help. It's not gonna and it did. I was 281 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: shocked how much it did help. Even and I repeated 282 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 2: a lot of the same things. I would say, you know, 283 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 2: I'm grateful for being healthy, and I'm grateful for my 284 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 2: kids and Alan, and but then that then took the 285 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 2: negative outside of my head, which was everything that I 286 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 2: was fearing. 287 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: Or have you ever done that with your kids? I've 288 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 1: heard people say to do that with your kids. 289 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 2: So at nighttime, we pray and then we say what 290 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: are you? That's like my My nighttime routine with the 291 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: kids is my favorite piece because I'm always like, what 292 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 2: are you grateful for and then you know today and 293 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: then let's say our. 294 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 3: Prayers and it's just so great. 295 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 2: We've been doing a lot of this at home, the 296 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 2: kids and my our kids, Janna and I have the 297 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 2: same ages, and I feel like when we both have 298 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 2: a boy and girl at the top, the biggies are 299 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 2: boys and girls, and I feel like they've been fighting 300 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 2: like cats and dogs, like really just like they're so 301 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 2: good when they're good, and then they're just a disaster 302 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 2: when they're a disaster, which is just being kids. But 303 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: like I make them free in the moment, and I'm like, 304 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 2: I'm all done. Five things we love about Legend. Five 305 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 2: things we love about Love to break the cycle because 306 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 2: I need it for myself. So let me ask you this, 307 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 2: because I know we're in this world of like, you know, 308 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 2: we're all I think our generation. I'm assuming you're a 309 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 2: bit younger than me, by the way, but our generation 310 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 2: feels like we are trying to like really take the 311 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: world by storm and like make this be a happier, whole, 312 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 2: more healthy place. So what I like about what you're 313 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 2: doing is not that it's that it's not toxic positivity. 314 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 2: There's a lot of realism and what you're up to, which, listen, 315 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 2: we all want to be the most positive, we all 316 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 2: want to wake up, and we all want to do 317 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 2: all these things. But also, like you say, we're lifing, right, 318 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 2: so what is your deciding What I guess is your 319 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 2: deciding factor when you go like, what I'm sharing is 320 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 2: what I'm sharing realistic positivity that I can do when 321 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 2: I'm lifing, or is this toxic positivity where it's just 322 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 2: like everything's great, we should be grateful. Because doctor Amen, 323 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 2: actually sorry to cut you off, but he was like, 324 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 2: I don't believe in just positive thinking. He's like, that's 325 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 2: well a little unrealistic because we're still being human, right. 326 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. So I'm like, oh, it's an interesting we have, 327 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 3: you know, but yeah. 328 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 4: And I love him. He's amazing, amazing, and it's so true. 329 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 4: I think there's a misconception about what positivity or positive 330 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 4: psychology is, and people think just do your affirmations and 331 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 4: life will be great. It's so much about learning through 332 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 4: challenge as well. And I think when you understand that 333 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 4: there's always going to be challenges in life, and we 334 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 4: get to look for what are the silver linings or 335 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 4: how did I learn and how did I grow within that? 336 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 4: Then we can start to forgive ourselves, because often it's 337 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 4: us beating ourselves up, like we're our own biggest critics, 338 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 4: and we have this idea that we should be happy 339 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 4: one hundred percent of the time. We all have emotions 340 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 4: and they're all valid, So it's more about feeling and 341 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 4: processing the emotion and then telling yourself or even writing 342 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 4: a forgiveness letter is one of the exercises which is 343 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 4: so powerful, And often it will start with writing a 344 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 4: forgiveness letter to someone else and you'll wind up writing 345 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 4: it to yourself. So it might be a forgiveness letter 346 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 4: for pushing yourself too hard, for example, or for getting 347 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 4: caught in a toxic loop of thinking wondering about that 348 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 4: X that you're always thinking about, or beating yourself up 349 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 4: for not picking up the legos that your kids have 350 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 4: left out. And actually, the more that we tell ourselves 351 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 4: that we forgive ourselves, it releases energy and it opens 352 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 4: up space for us to live happier days. 353 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 3: I like that. 354 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 2: Can I ask you so for people that haven't read 355 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 2: your book, you know, I think a lot of times 356 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 2: it's like we add books to kart right with this 357 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 2: hope that organ like really go in all in on 358 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 2: the process. If someone is new to you and new 359 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 2: to the idea of your book, is this more like 360 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 2: a work book? Is this adding things in every day? 361 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 2: Is it an outlined thirty days? Like for someone I'm 362 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 2: a little OCD and a little A type, So if 363 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,919 Speaker 2: I get behind, it gets a little all or nothing 364 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 2: for me. So if I'm on day five and I'm 365 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 2: a train wreck, then I'm like, oh, I'm just I 366 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 2: just I have to start back over, like I recovering perfectionism. 367 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 3: It's really tricky. 368 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 2: So for someone who doesn't know this book, like what 369 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: can you kind of outline maybe just the method in 370 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 2: the way that you've written it. 371 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's a tool per day for thirty days, 372 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 4: so you can take it as a thirty day challenge 373 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 4: and it moves through your body, your mind, and your spirit. 374 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 4: So there's so much change that you can create and 375 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 4: allow for yourself. And it's also designed so you can 376 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,919 Speaker 4: flip it open and you know, like you would get 377 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 4: an oracle card deck where you choose a card for 378 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 4: the day, you can flip the book book open and 379 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 4: just look at what chapter which is a couple of pages. 380 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 4: It'll take you ten minutes, read that, do that exercise 381 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 4: super practical and you'll notice the shift. 382 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 3: Practicality matters a lot in the season of motherhood. 383 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, I am curious, as you said you were a stepmom. 384 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 3: Were you married? Are you married? 385 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 4: No, it was with my fiance. So she was like 386 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 4: my bonus daughter for two years and it was amazing. 387 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 3: She was five. 388 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 2: Ah, and so you're not together anymore. No, So I'm 389 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 2: curious when it comes to your own personal life when 390 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 2: you're going through that and then you also have this 391 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 2: as a job. It's like be positive, be happy, and 392 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 2: you're struggling personally. So I know you have your list 393 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,120 Speaker 2: of gratitude and all those things, but is it hard 394 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,480 Speaker 2: for you to walk this line when you're also like 395 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 2: I know, for me, when I was dealing with stuff 396 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 2: my X, I'm like, am I, how are we preaching this? 397 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 2: You can fight for this and you can work past 398 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 2: this when I'm literally when we would hit end record 399 00:19:56,359 --> 00:20:00,159 Speaker 2: or I don't trust him, I'm angry at him, and 400 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 2: so it's like in more battling. And so it was 401 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 2: very hard to live in that world where we're trying 402 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 2: to be helpful to people, but then we're feeling like 403 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 2: we're in a more underground Yeah. 404 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 4: And I think that there's a personal line for each 405 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 4: person about what feels right to share and what is 406 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 4: private life. And I think that we get to decide 407 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 4: what that is for us. I'm always I like to 408 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:30,239 Speaker 4: process my own experiences first and then share after, so 409 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 4: I can share from a place of having got the 410 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 4: learnings rather than being in it right now. And I 411 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 4: think that's been a good practice or principle to follow. 412 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 4: It's also led me to lead with way more compassion 413 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 4: because I've had challenges in life, and certainly having like 414 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 4: a public presence and a social media profile, you sometimes 415 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 4: feel like you've got to show up all of the time. 416 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 4: So I think it's having the the knowing that you 417 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 4: get to look after yourself first, and you get to 418 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 4: practice that self care, and you get to share what 419 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 4: it is that feels all right to share when it 420 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 4: feels all right to share it. 421 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, all right. 422 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 2: One of the best tips in your book that you 423 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 2: haven't shared one last one just to get the listeners 424 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 2: to go, Okay, this is I need to get this book. 425 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,719 Speaker 4: So dream big. One of my favorite chapters. It's about 426 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 4: visualizing your best possible self and writing that out as 427 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 4: a future version, and then asking yourself, how can I 428 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 4: start to live as that right now? Because there's always 429 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 4: a characteristic or something that we can start to do 430 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 4: to be that person that we want to be in 431 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:40,959 Speaker 4: the future. 432 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 3: I love that too. I want to do that. You're 433 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 3: really dant time for me today. I need it to Kart. 434 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 4: I know. 435 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: I saw this today and I was like, I just 436 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 1: had this conversation last night. I can't wait to talk 437 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: about it. 438 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 2: I even said to Jane, I was like, I don't 439 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: even need to talk to her. I just need to 440 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 2: be in the room today when this goes down, because 441 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 2: I just needed a calm reset for my brain. I 442 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 2: will say though, with Nick, when he was here yesterday 443 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 2: with the Babes, he had mentioned something about money and 444 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 2: I think he was he's in that like with real estate. 445 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 3: He had made a comment. I'm like, okay, I just 446 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,119 Speaker 3: closed that he's a little stressed and it's always about it. 447 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 2: He's old cat that we got to be really careful, 448 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 2: and he goes, yeah, she's just she always says that, 449 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 2: And I'm like, but you always say that too, you know. 450 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 3: I was a conversation we have. Yeah, So I was 451 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 3: just kind of like, oh, he's he's stressed. 452 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,439 Speaker 1: If we haven't gone broke yet to be okay, I 453 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 1: promise he just stress is about Money'll be. 454 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 3: There any Sorry. 455 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 2: I'm really just going back in for you, Nick, because 456 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,359 Speaker 2: really just need I need you today. 457 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 3: You're like an ivy for me today. 458 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 2: Is there anything that you can share with us quickly 459 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,879 Speaker 2: that would that circles around the scarcy mentality? Because I 460 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,120 Speaker 2: know this time of year is stressful for a lot 461 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 2: of people and a lot of businesses. You know, winter 462 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 2: months are harder on just a lot of things like music, 463 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 2: real estate, all of the things people or stress out 464 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: about hosting family, about buying gifts. Is there anything that 465 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 2: you can share around scarcy mentality that you kind of 466 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 2: go to as like your go to gravity tool. 467 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, I think the first thing is to understand 468 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 4: that our brains have a negativity bias. So the more 469 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 4: negative stimulus or thought or feelings or things that are happening, 470 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 4: the more positive we need to outweigh it. So you 471 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 4: need three positive emotions or thoughts to redress the balance 472 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 4: from one negative. And if you're in a marriage, it's 473 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 4: more like eleven. Oh God, so ge see as well 474 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 4: as replacing the positive, you also it's often more powerful 475 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 4: to let go of the negative. So is there a 476 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 4: situation or a person or a conversation that is continually 477 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 4: looping in a negative experience in your life? And could 478 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 4: you actually protect yourself from that and put yourself into 479 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 4: more positive and less negative situations. And I think as well, 480 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 4: it's just knowing that we're all stronger when we're together. 481 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 4: So what I've learned is that there's so much power 482 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 4: and vulnerability, and if you are in a place of 483 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 4: scarcity or struggle, the more that we can connect together, 484 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 4: the easier that it feels. And your relationships are the 485 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 4: thing that's going to get you through. 486 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 3: I love you. I amazing and our listeners find you so. 487 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 4: I love hanging out on Instagram. I'm nickpige On there 488 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 4: and then Nick Pigeon on the website as well. 489 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 2: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming on wind Down. 490 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 2: We really appreciate it. 491 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 4: Thanks for having me. 492 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 3: We sure needed you today. 493 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 2: Nick. 494 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 3: Bye, bye, Bi girl. 495 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 2: Everyone gets your book Now Is Your Chance? A thirty 496 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 2: day guide to living your happiest life.