WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Ballroom Benny & Blue Guns 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:05.600 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.640 --> 0:00:09.400 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:13.080 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.960 crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:20.360 pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes, 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.240 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:34.560 Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome into 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:37.879 the podcast, O Joe, It is another edition of the 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:43.520 Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Oh 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:48.000 here we are. I like the extended winner, unbel kicking 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:51.920 the tires in the audio box, walking a tight rope. 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:56.200 Danny G. Yet again all the other shows keep saying, 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:01.160 this is the first time we're broadcasting in not us, man, 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:03.959 We've already been on the air. That's right, we're your 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.920 seasoned veterans, season veterans in the podcast game. I did notice, 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:11.040 though you can't see this if you're watching the podcast unfortunately, 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:16.759 Danny G. Not wearing a Raider hat, not wearing a 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:19.959 Laker hat? Is that a Is that a hat from 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.160 the I believe it is from the Hawaiian Islands? Is 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:25.160 that a ye? It's a Kawaii hat, al right, I 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.480 love that. That's a great that's a great hat. So 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:30.320 looking at it now that there's a Raider's shirt though, 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.280 so I understand. But I'm looking for you your hat 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:36.720 there and that did you feel guilty buying that hat? 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.360 Like you? I've known you for many years. I don't 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:42.240 think I've seen you in anything other than Raider, Laker, 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:46.560 or Dodger hats. No. I have a few non sports hats, 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.360 mostly snapbacks, and this happens to be one of them. 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:53.680 Got this on the honeymoon. That's a good looking hat. Yeah, 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.320 did did? Did you get that as a souvenir or 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.800 because you needed a hat and it was like sunny 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.680 or something like that. It was actually the one day 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:05.480 in Kawai where it was pouring down rain. Every other 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:10.240 day there on the islands was sunny, eighty perfect. There 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:12.639 was one day, though, where it was like a monsoon, 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.560 the puddles up to the top of our socks. Right 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:18.680 across from where we were eating, there was a little 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:22.280 surf shop and that's where I got this hat. Interesting. 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.359 One of the two worst weather events I've ever been 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:30.880 in was in Kawaii. We we were shopping at of course, 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.320 we were like, there was like a kmart, which I 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:35.800 don't even think is there anymore. We were in the 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:38.120 kmart and there was this big We didn't look at 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:39.720 the forecast when we were there. We're like, it was 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.959 in Hawaii. It's gonna be seventy seventy nine degrees eighty 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.720 five degrees every day. And so we're in the store 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.679 and like the power starts flickering and there's this massive 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:53.520 monsoon of a rainstorm. It was like the worst rain. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.639 It was a tropical depression that came through Kawaii and 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:58.520 we didn't know about it. So when the store, the 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:02.239 lights go out and we we had to get out 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:05.120 of there. It was still raining. So I went out, 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.400 I got the rental car, and I pulled the rental 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:12.359 car up on the sidewalk. So my my now wife 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.160 at that time I just got married, Um, she could 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.600 get in the car without having to walk. I was 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:20.079 completely drenched by the time I got to my car. 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:22.160 It was horrible and I felt like I had taken 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.680 a bath or I gone swimming in an Olympic sized pool. 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:28.640 It's unreal the rain because there's nothing to stop it, 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:32.880 Like it's obviously you're in an island. Yeah, what are 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.520 the locals told us? He said, when it comes down here, 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:39.520 it really comes down quick man. The tourists they were 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.960 running screaming. It was fun to watch. It was the 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.720 best people watching of the entire trip. It's like the 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.320 cocka roaches when you turn the lights on, they're running around, 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:53.080 scurring around the floor. On this podcast, we've got Ballroom Benny, 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:59.880 developmental writer, Good Eats, Pop goes, the culture and back scratches. 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:01.360 So a lot to get to, but let's start with 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:07.400 this now. Yala, New Year's Eve three. You're here, so 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.320 you had a good New Year's Eve. I assumed you're 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.000 you're alive, So that's good. You're listening, um. And if 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:15.800 you follow me on social media, I don't post personal 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:20.240 photos on Twitter because that's a cesspool. But on Facebook 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.480 and Instagram all usually, you know, a couple of times 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.680 a month, I'll post what's going on in my life. 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:27.840 For some reason, people seem to like that, Danny. I 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.000 don't know why. It's very odd to me, but people 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.120 seem to enjoy that. And so if you do follow 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.320 me on social media on Facebook or Instagram, you probably 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.920 saw some photos that I posted last week, but now 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:43.080 you're about to hear the rest all of the story, right, 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.760 rest of the stories we are firing and all sylinaters here. 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.240 So I visited with the wife there. We went on 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.719 in a very romantic day to the iconic Cicada Club 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.680 in downtown l A. I've been there before, I've talked 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.080 about it on the podcast. I think we've been there 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.760 one other time. But this is just the jacent to 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:04.559 skid Row, which is pretty much all of downtown Los 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:08.120 Angeles at this point. It's it's in this really cool 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:11.560 Art deco building to kind of paint the picture for you. 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:15.680 And there are some beautiful buildings when downtown l A 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.360 was getting built in the middle of the madness down there, 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:24.039 which is now just terrible. But but anyway, this is 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:27.480 like a really cool old building. And my wife loves 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.560 this place, very elegant, you know, she's into that kind 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.320 of thing. Get get all dolled up and all that. 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:35.679 I've actually I'm I'm maturing Danny because I actually don't 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.240 hate going there. I actually kind of appreciate it. It's 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.120 kind of cool. I must be getting old, I must 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.440 be getting bored and old because I younger me younger 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.400 Benny would have been like, you know, screw that, I 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:48.440 don't want to go on to go to a place 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.320 like that boring, But I actually enjoyed it. There's a 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:56.160 lot of history and an ambiance, and it's this this 0:05:56.240 --> 0:06:00.000 old dance hall that dates back almost a hundred years. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.960 It is since we're in three. It dates back to 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.159 the ninth the Roaring nineteen twenties. It was originally built 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:11.640 as a haberdashery in nineteen twenty, so it's a ninety 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.880 five year old building. I realize if you're in Boston 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.800 or New York or Philadelphia, there's there's buildings that are 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.359 way older than that. But in l A there's not 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:23.760 a lot that's that old because there's these things called 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:28.800 earthquakes and buildings down and bulldozers and real estate greed 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:33.520 exactly exactly, So this place is on the National Registry 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:35.920 of Historic Places, so it's not going anywhere. It was 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.880 built by French designers and artisans of the day, and 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.840 they even have a dress code. Danny, I have very 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.080 rarely go to a place with a dress code. You 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:49.000 gotta wear vintage business or evening attire. Gentlemen they say 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:53.360 code and tie no jeans, no zip jackets, no shorts, 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.039 no T shirts, sneakers or flip flops, which is pretty 0:06:56.120 --> 0:07:01.880 much my entire wardrobe cent at a time. Psalms, screwed ladies. 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.760 You gotta wear cocktail dress, skirt or paint suit with 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:10.400 matching jacket. No sneakers or flip flops, ant suit. That's 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.200 not a good look, is it. Oh, it's like Mary 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:17.679 Tyler Moore. Yeah, you don't want that. So this place 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.280 the history on it in the early days of l 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.800 a back in the nineteen late nineteen twenties, early nineteen 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.800 thirties when Hollywood was really taken off and they were 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:30.160 going from silent films to spoken word films and all 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:34.520 that Hollywood legends of the people like Clark Gable, John 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:38.559 Barrymore and other big stars of that era. We're hanging 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:41.000 out at this location. So it's kind of cool thing 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.520 about the old legends of Hollywood back when Hollywood was 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:49.520 really like the think about all the drugs, alcohol abuse, 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:56.240 womanizing that has gone on there years and years. And 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:59.679 also when I saw the pictures you posted, the first 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.679 thing that I thought of It looks like a place 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.440 that Louis Armstrong would have been playing live music at 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.000 Oh yeah, for sure. You know, Danny, if you wanna, 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:08.600 you wanna meet up there, we could do like a 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:11.400 double date. I know your your wife's got a bun 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:13.840 in the oven there, but she's I don't know if 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.440 you would. You think she'd be into that kind of thing. 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:19.920 I don't know. I'm not sure. If they have food there, 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:23.360 then she's in because all she's been doing lately is eating. 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.200 Oh yeah, you can't hit the bar there. They have 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:29.760 a big bar, very expensive stadium like prices on the 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:33.760 alcohol at this place. They do a restaurant. The menu 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:37.080 is not really my jam. You can either buy the dinner, 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:39.400 which costs more, or then you just kind of hang 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.520 out there and drink alcohol. What about the ticket to 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:45.120 get in because they say that holiday is a sucker's 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.280 night because of all the entry fees to get into 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:51.720 these places. Yeah. So the way that works, Danny, in 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.920 my marriage, and I don't know about your marriage you're 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.760 newly married, is I get very upset when I find 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:00.320 out how much ship like that cost. So it's pretty much. Uh, 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.440 it's like the old military slogan, don't ask, don't tell, 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.000 I don't ask how much it costs my wife does 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.599 not tell it worked for the United States Military for 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:10.760 a long time. It works for our marriage a long time. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:14.520 Because if I knew how much was being spent, Uh, 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:17.520 I had probably have Uh I have a coronary, is 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:21.120 what I have? You know? All right? She got the tickets. Yeah, 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.360 she made sure to buy the things. But the other thing, 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:25.920 when I was in there and I was thinking about 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:29.000 like old Hollywood, I was like, you know, my favorite 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:31.839 old Hollywood person And I don't even know if he 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:34.880 was a good actor or a comedian, this guy W. C. Fields. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:36.839 And I wonder because he was a big star in 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.000 the nineteen forties. I wonder if he hung out at 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:44.320 that that club, the Cassada, uh, the Cicada Club. And 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.440 he has my favorite quote of all time, which is 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:50.280 if he can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:54.800 It's from the all time great quotes. And Uh. Anyway, 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:56.880 I was, I was ballroom and I did some dancing. 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:58.280 People were like, well, how do you did? Do you 0:09:58.280 --> 0:09:59.959 know what? How I dance? You got two left fee? 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.440 And I admit, Danny, I suck at dancing. You you 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:04.440 probably have the moves out there, you know how to dance. 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.240 You're more of a dance. I don't know how to dance. 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.559 I don't know what the funk I'm doing, but I figured, 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.440 you know, happy wife, happy life. My wife likes to dance, 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:14.880 and so I make an effort, and I pretty much 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.559 fake it till I make it. My strategy. When I'm 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.920 on the dance floor, Danny, and it's like ballroom dancing, 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:21.679 so I'm kind of like just looking at what the 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:23.959 other dudes are doing, and I'm like, okay, I can 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:25.560 kind of mimic that, you know, step to the right, 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:27.680 step to the left, you know, back and forth, you know, 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.400 spend the girl around. I can figure that out. That's 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:35.120 not that hard. It's like the movie, Oh, what's the 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:37.480 name of the movie where he's got the one move 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.360 on the dance floor. He's trying to get the hot 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:43.800 blood and he's like shaking the fake dice and his 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.200 friends are like looking at him. They're like, he's got 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.720 one move, but he's really working that one move. That's 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.640 all you really need, man. As long as you're out 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:55.200 there having fun, that's all that matters. I've been on 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:59.280 dates where the girls were like crazy into dancing and 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.360 they were a little harder to keep up with, even 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.240 though I can dance. But at the end it was 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.360 a big smile on their face. The old saying is 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:09.800 if you won't take the girl out to dance, some 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.280 other guy will. Yeah, no, no, for sure, and it 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.199 was you know, it's cool, and heck, man, I'm a guy. 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.320 I didn't even go to my proms, so I haven't 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.120 done a lot of dancing in the in my days here. 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:22.040 But it was cool. I'm sure we'll be there again. 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.040 My wife always wants people to join us. She's like, yes, 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.520 invite your friends, and my friends are busy they can't come. 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:32.079 But uh so, if you want to do a double date, Danny, 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.480 we'll have to make that happen at some point. I 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.959 know that might be way down the line because there 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:41.320 is a developmental raider who, I believe, if my math 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:45.240 is correct, will be on the board available for the 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:47.680 Raiders to draft. Let me do the math on this. 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:54.400 In the year, Oh my god, oh my, twenty forty five. 0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:01.920 Oh man, oh man, dandy, we still be podcasting. I 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:07.079 don't even know we'll be alive, but man, better be alive. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.120 I know I plan on being alive, but investilated plans 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:14.520 of mice men and podcasters. But yeah, I congratulations, and 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:19.280 Danny and you found the big news. Tell us how 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:21.440 it all went down. Give me the inside skinny, the 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.400 behind the scenes. Yeah. So if we uh go swing 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.080 dancing at that old club with you, it's gonna have 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:32.200 to be a few months after August. August ten is 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.160 the exact do date. You know that hardly ever hits. 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:40.080 But yeah, my chick, she uh, speaking of spending money, 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:44.400 she sent ninety dollars to the Amazon folks and got 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:47.440 one of those DNA kits. You know, it used to 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.480 be that you'd have to wait enough weeks into it 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.800 where the doctor could finally do the ultrasound and you 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:59.600 could see some balls, and that's how they knew. Now 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.440 they have these very advanced DNA tests that you just 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:07.480 mail back and they email you with the announcement. So 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:11.160 my girl got the email just a couple of days ago. 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:14.520 She shows me her phone and it's blue balloons on 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.800 the screen and it says it's a boy. Oh wow, 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:24.360 that's great, that's awesome, awesome to see. And then, of course, 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:28.960 you know, the modern generation, they like the gender reveal parties, 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:32.760 they like the the gender reveal guns, that shoot the 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.320 blue or the pink confetti, and so that was another 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:40.680 Amazon purchase. Wifey got those pop guns for her kids 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:45.760 and just two days ago they popped open the reveal 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.040 blue and gold confetti that came out of there. The 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:53.360 boys were celebrating. Her daughter was like, well, but there's 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:57.280 gold in here too. She's holding out for maybe the 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:01.600 mistake from Amazon. Yeah, just clinging on to hope that 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.719 it could be a girl, because she was the one 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:08.040 that wanted a little sister. But she was still smiling though. 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.400 Everybody seems really happy that it's gonna be a boy. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:16.560 And what can I say, ben some powerful sperm. First 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.840 it happens on the honeymoon. Second it's a boy and 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.600 boom goes to dynamite. There you go, Danny G. Man, 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.600 you get that macheese moment, man, Danny g clearly look 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.600 at that. Well, congratulations, I'm happy for it. And you've 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.840 got built in babysitters. Do the kids know that they'll 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:34.760 be the babysitters when you guys want to go out 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:38.080 in a few years and all that right? They know? Okay, 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:42.200 are thinking a demand and bounty, a ransom of King's 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:46.440 ransom to watch future Danny G. Danny G Radio two 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.880 point oh, the next future broadcaster. We'll do what my 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.680 mom did when I was a kid babysitting for her. 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:55.640 She would bring me back a bag of gummy worms 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:59.080 from Costco and say, here, you're filthy animal. This is 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:02.000 for babysitting for five hours. Did I ever tell you 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:03.960 the story? Me and my my older brother, we were 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.840 deputized the last time we ever watched my younger brother. 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.600 My parents went out to a nice meal and uh 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:14.200 we were we were doing wrestling moves on the sofa, me, 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:18.360 my brother, my older brother, my younger brother, and uh, 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.760 my younger brother ended up breaking his arm jumping off 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:27.640 the top of the top of the sofa, and my 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:31.680 mom all, my god, she had so much guilt as 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:35.200 a Jewish mother. She's like, I can't believe kids for 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:40.400 one night and that never again, never again. We totally 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.640 ruined that the rest of my mom's life and no, 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:47.120 no more babysitting. But it was quite the quite a 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:51.080 very memorable experience. I have a quick baby sitting tale. 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.680 I loved babysitting my little sisters. They were pretty easy 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.680 to deal with, my little brothers from my stepdad. They 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:04.080 were some little assholes. There's Matthew who wound up in 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:08.080 juvenile hall. Okay, so that, yeah, that's a whole another story. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.119 But he was always the one out in the backyard 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:14.280 getting into trouble. His younger brother, Aaron was fighting with 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.880 him and I heard them arguing in the backyard. That 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.640 was a usual thing. I'm like whatever, So I'm kind 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:21.920 of popping my head back there once in a while 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.800 to make sure they're not killing each other. But I 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.880 hear a a pop but air pop, and then I 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:32.240 hear a kid screaming. I run to the backyard. There's 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:37.400 Matthew a baby gun rifle in his arm, and there's 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:42.239 Aaron on the other side of the backyard, blubbering, just weeping. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:47.360 Matthew shot Aaron with a baby gun. What Ben, He 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:52.120 came within inches of his left eye. Oh that isn't funny. 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:57.200 Why would you do that? What could of dumbass? Yeah, 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.360 m So my mom gets home and I have to 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.920 exploit ain this baby gun and how he almost lost 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:08.600 his eyeball. Oh my god. Fun times. Yeah, the horrors 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:13.879 of babysitting. Cheez Louise. I hope my son grows up 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.399 to have none of their d n A. Oh this 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:20.480 is and you gotta make sure. My advice here, you know, 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:23.280 fatherly advice is I think you know this. You gotta 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:26.720 get the kid, especially in these days, you gotta get 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.800 the kid. If you wanted to watch the games with you, 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.720 you gotta get him hooked early, right, otherwise he will 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.520 he will migrate to the video games. Great to the 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.280 tell other things. But if you can get them hooked 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:41.760 early on, you're good. Right, that's the the first few years. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.320 Like I've had some experience. I won't get into it here, 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:47.639 but did not do the oldo the hookaroo, and you 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.920 pay the price down the line. I kind of feel 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.840 like my son is gonna come out in a raider onesie. 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.159 You think is when I will be silver and the 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:59.840 other black. Like I was joking, I told my tender Ronnie. 0:17:59.880 --> 0:18:02.399 I said, Oh, don't worry, he's gonna come out with 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.320 an eye patch already on his eye. He'll be coming 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.840 out with like a gold chain like Al Davis back 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:15.320 in a jumpsuit, you know, white jumps a little Cligaruh. 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.040 That's great. See, now you gotta come up with a 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.840 name though, right, that's a whole another ball of wax 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:23.119 act a very important thing. The name. We talked about that, 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.560 so you gotta gotta play around with that, and who 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.520 decides it? Do you decided the wife do it? Did 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:31.200 you flip a coin? That's a tough one. It's crazy 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.200 that you bring that up, because it's like naming rights 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:38.119 to a stadium. All right. I was told weeks and 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:42.240 weeks ago that I got to decide the name, and 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.359 I was like, man, that is really cool of my 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:48.040 chick to tell me I have that honor. Like nobody's 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.960 gonna fight me on it. That's for me to decide. 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:55.280 But then we do this stupid gender reveal guns and 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.480 after they clean up all the confetti mess, they're talking 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.400 about names for a boy because now obviously they know 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:05.760 it's a boy. Let's find a boy's name. And suddenly 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.280 I'm on the outside looking in and all these other 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.879 people are trying to make my executive decision for me. 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:15.600 They're trying to that's trying to encourage you or what's 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:20.680 trying to sway the vote? Ya the judge. Yeah. Instantly, 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.840 my girl comes upstairs and says, oh, we were all 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:27.760 talking downstairs and we like the name blank, We like 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.200 this name. Look, I have a list of names now 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:35.159 in my phone. Wait a second, what happened to this 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:37.639 being my decision and say, oh no, well I have 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:42.200 to agree with it, hey told Stall. Now you see 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:45.639 you've got multi multiple variables on this because you've got 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:49.480 first name, second name, you a middle name. But then 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:51.840 some people put two middle names in there, right, so 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:53.600 you could do the two. That's kind of confusing the 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.800 two minds. Yeah, some people do too. Last names. Now, 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.720 that's just too many names, a lot of names. Yeah. 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:02.399 And the other thing too about the name game is 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.640 you've got you gotta worry about the initials because kids 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:07.880 are assholes. As you know, you work at a school too, 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:10.200 and these kids if you come up with like my 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:14.320 my middle name starts with an S so bs and uh, 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.600 and then my last name starts with him so b M, 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.879 which is a code for bowel movement. So as you 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:23.399 can imagine the assholes on the playground, like the like 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:25.800 the Google, So you gotta you gotta look out for 0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:27.680 that as well. You got like you gonna have a 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:29.600 good first name and a lot and kind of have 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:31.920 it rhyme with the last name, especially you know, boys 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:35.120 not gonna who knows, but these days but I likely 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:37.080 not going to change their name when they get older, right, 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:38.920 so that their last name is going to stay the same. 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:43.640 You have to have a perspective of the bully. So 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.240 when you look at a potential name, you try to 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:49.360 rhyme everything bad that you can with it, Like are 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:52.240 there any curse words? Does it sound like any slur? 0:20:53.080 --> 0:20:58.680 But all those negroes look the same. Producer's note, He said, 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:02.760 necros is in the pictures that were brothers, So don't 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:07.560 get your shorts in a bunch. Yeah all right, Well, well, 0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:09.520 I'm sure we'll get more updates on the fifth Hour 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:12.240 podcast as the Life. I can't wait for birth. Follow 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:15.000 you to get here at point Dexter, my new son, 0:21:15.160 --> 0:21:20.320 point Dexter. How about off? All right, So one of 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:24.199 my michigas is, as my grandfather would say back in 0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:26.720 his day, is in the kitchen. I've been dabbling in that. 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:29.560 Uh if only my mom was around, she'd be very impressed. 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:32.840 She's not around, unfortunately. But the culinary arts. So we 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:36.040 talked about this on the podcast. Fajita's Cheese Steak Burgers, 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:39.959 The Grittle Life, Making making cookies, Baking, Benny the Baker, 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:43.240 The Chocolate Tiers, so good times. This past weekend, I 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:47.000 got a bug under my rug, under my skin. Uh 0:21:47.000 --> 0:21:50.439 this past weekend actually after we went dancing to the 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:54.359 Cicada Club. I don't usually eat late at night. I 0:21:54.440 --> 0:21:56.439 only eat one meal a day. I usually fast a 0:21:56.440 --> 0:21:58.200 couple of days a week. But I decided, you know, 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:00.600 it's New Year's Eve, it's a celebrate, and so a 0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:04.800 little late night food run to the mecca fat Cells 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:08.560 in the hood in actually in the wood in Hollywood. 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:11.920 So we went to that location over there in Highland 0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:16.360 in in Hollywood, just down from the is it not? 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:18.280 Is it l A Live? No, it's not l A Live. 0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:22.000 What's the Hollywood and Highland? I think is the okay? 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.399 Just down the street from there. Anyway, if you're not 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:25.760