Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome into
Speaker 1: the podcast, O Joe, It is another edition of the
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Oh
Speaker 1: here we are. I like the extended winner, unbel kicking
Speaker 1: the tires in the audio box, walking a tight rope.
Speaker 1: Danny G. Yet again all the other shows keep saying,
Speaker 1: this is the first time we're broadcasting in not us, man,
Speaker 1: We've already been on the air. That's right, we're your
Speaker 1: seasoned veterans, season veterans in the podcast game. I did notice,
Speaker 1: though you can't see this if you're watching the podcast unfortunately,
Speaker 1: Danny G. Not wearing a Raider hat, not wearing a
Speaker 1: Laker hat? Is that a Is that a hat from
Speaker 1: the I believe it is from the Hawaiian Islands? Is
Speaker 1: that a ye? It's a Kawaii hat, al right, I
Speaker 1: love that. That's a great that's a great hat. So
Speaker 1: looking at it now that there's a Raider's shirt though,
Speaker 1: so I understand. But I'm looking for you your hat
Speaker 1: there and that did you feel guilty buying that hat?
Speaker 1: Like you? I've known you for many years. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've seen you in anything other than Raider, Laker,
Speaker 1: or Dodger hats. No. I have a few non sports hats,
Speaker 1: mostly snapbacks, and this happens to be one of them.
Speaker 1: Got this on the honeymoon. That's a good looking hat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did did? Did you get that as a souvenir or
Speaker 1: because you needed a hat and it was like sunny
Speaker 1: or something like that. It was actually the one day
Speaker 1: in Kawai where it was pouring down rain. Every other
Speaker 1: day there on the islands was sunny, eighty perfect. There
Speaker 1: was one day, though, where it was like a monsoon,
Speaker 1: the puddles up to the top of our socks. Right
Speaker 1: across from where we were eating, there was a little
Speaker 1: surf shop and that's where I got this hat. Interesting.
Speaker 1: One of the two worst weather events I've ever been
Speaker 1: in was in Kawaii. We we were shopping at of course,
Speaker 1: we were like, there was like a kmart, which I
Speaker 1: don't even think is there anymore. We were in the
Speaker 1: kmart and there was this big We didn't look at
Speaker 1: the forecast when we were there. We're like, it was
Speaker 1: in Hawaii. It's gonna be seventy seventy nine degrees eighty
Speaker 1: five degrees every day. And so we're in the store
Speaker 1: and like the power starts flickering and there's this massive
Speaker 1: monsoon of a rainstorm. It was like the worst rain.
Speaker 1: It was a tropical depression that came through Kawaii and
Speaker 1: we didn't know about it. So when the store, the
Speaker 1: lights go out and we we had to get out
Speaker 1: of there. It was still raining. So I went out,
Speaker 1: I got the rental car, and I pulled the rental
Speaker 1: car up on the sidewalk. So my my now wife
Speaker 1: at that time I just got married, Um, she could
Speaker 1: get in the car without having to walk. I was
Speaker 1: completely drenched by the time I got to my car.
Speaker 1: It was horrible and I felt like I had taken
Speaker 1: a bath or I gone swimming in an Olympic sized pool.
Speaker 1: It's unreal the rain because there's nothing to stop it,
Speaker 1: Like it's obviously you're in an island. Yeah, what are
Speaker 1: the locals told us? He said, when it comes down here,
Speaker 1: it really comes down quick man. The tourists they were
Speaker 1: running screaming. It was fun to watch. It was the
Speaker 1: best people watching of the entire trip. It's like the
Speaker 1: cocka roaches when you turn the lights on, they're running around,
Speaker 1: scurring around the floor. On this podcast, we've got Ballroom Benny,
Speaker 1: developmental writer, Good Eats, Pop goes, the culture and back scratches.
Speaker 1: So a lot to get to, but let's start with
Speaker 1: this now. Yala, New Year's Eve three. You're here, so
Speaker 1: you had a good New Year's Eve. I assumed you're
Speaker 1: you're alive, So that's good. You're listening, um. And if
Speaker 1: you follow me on social media, I don't post personal
Speaker 1: photos on Twitter because that's a cesspool. But on Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram all usually, you know, a couple of times
Speaker 1: a month, I'll post what's going on in my life.
Speaker 1: For some reason, people seem to like that, Danny. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. It's very odd to me, but people
Speaker 1: seem to enjoy that. And so if you do follow
Speaker 1: me on social media on Facebook or Instagram, you probably
Speaker 1: saw some photos that I posted last week, but now
Speaker 1: you're about to hear the rest all of the story, right,
Speaker 1: rest of the stories we are firing and all sylinaters here.
Speaker 1: So I visited with the wife there. We went on
Speaker 1: in a very romantic day to the iconic Cicada Club
Speaker 1: in downtown l A. I've been there before, I've talked
Speaker 1: about it on the podcast. I think we've been there
Speaker 1: one other time. But this is just the jacent to
Speaker 1: skid Row, which is pretty much all of downtown Los
Speaker 1: Angeles at this point. It's it's in this really cool
Speaker 1: Art deco building to kind of paint the picture for you.
Speaker 1: And there are some beautiful buildings when downtown l A
Speaker 1: was getting built in the middle of the madness down there,
Speaker 1: which is now just terrible. But but anyway, this is
Speaker 1: like a really cool old building. And my wife loves
Speaker 1: this place, very elegant, you know, she's into that kind
Speaker 1: of thing. Get get all dolled up and all that.
Speaker 1: I've actually I'm I'm maturing Danny because I actually don't
Speaker 1: hate going there. I actually kind of appreciate it. It's
Speaker 1: kind of cool. I must be getting old, I must
Speaker 1: be getting bored and old because I younger me younger
Speaker 1: Benny would have been like, you know, screw that, I
Speaker 1: don't want to go on to go to a place
Speaker 1: like that boring, But I actually enjoyed it. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of history and an ambiance, and it's this this
Speaker 1: old dance hall that dates back almost a hundred years.
Speaker 1: It is since we're in three. It dates back to
Speaker 1: the ninth the Roaring nineteen twenties. It was originally built
Speaker 1: as a haberdashery in nineteen twenty, so it's a ninety
Speaker 1: five year old building. I realize if you're in Boston
Speaker 1: or New York or Philadelphia, there's there's buildings that are
Speaker 1: way older than that. But in l A there's not
Speaker 1: a lot that's that old because there's these things called
Speaker 1: earthquakes and buildings down and bulldozers and real estate greed
Speaker 1: exactly exactly, So this place is on the National Registry
Speaker 1: of Historic Places, so it's not going anywhere. It was
Speaker 1: built by French designers and artisans of the day, and
Speaker 1: they even have a dress code. Danny, I have very
Speaker 1: rarely go to a place with a dress code. You
Speaker 1: gotta wear vintage business or evening attire. Gentlemen they say
Speaker 1: code and tie no jeans, no zip jackets, no shorts,
Speaker 1: no T shirts, sneakers or flip flops, which is pretty
Speaker 1: much my entire wardrobe cent at a time. Psalms, screwed ladies.
Speaker 1: You gotta wear cocktail dress, skirt or paint suit with
Speaker 1: matching jacket. No sneakers or flip flops, ant suit. That's
Speaker 1: not a good look, is it. Oh, it's like Mary
Speaker 1: Tyler Moore. Yeah, you don't want that. So this place
Speaker 1: the history on it in the early days of l
Speaker 1: a back in the nineteen late nineteen twenties, early nineteen
Speaker 1: thirties when Hollywood was really taken off and they were
Speaker 1: going from silent films to spoken word films and all
Speaker 1: that Hollywood legends of the people like Clark Gable, John
Speaker 1: Barrymore and other big stars of that era. We're hanging
Speaker 1: out at this location. So it's kind of cool thing
Speaker 1: about the old legends of Hollywood back when Hollywood was
Speaker 1: really like the think about all the drugs, alcohol abuse,
Speaker 1: womanizing that has gone on there years and years. And
Speaker 1: also when I saw the pictures you posted, the first
Speaker 1: thing that I thought of It looks like a place
Speaker 1: that Louis Armstrong would have been playing live music at
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure. You know, Danny, if you wanna,
Speaker 1: you wanna meet up there, we could do like a
Speaker 1: double date. I know your your wife's got a bun
Speaker 1: in the oven there, but she's I don't know if
Speaker 1: you would. You think she'd be into that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not sure. If they have food there,
Speaker 1: then she's in because all she's been doing lately is eating.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you can't hit the bar there. They have
Speaker 1: a big bar, very expensive stadium like prices on the
Speaker 1: alcohol at this place. They do a restaurant. The menu
Speaker 1: is not really my jam. You can either buy the dinner,
Speaker 1: which costs more, or then you just kind of hang
Speaker 1: out there and drink alcohol. What about the ticket to
Speaker 1: get in because they say that holiday is a sucker's
Speaker 1: night because of all the entry fees to get into
Speaker 1: these places. Yeah. So the way that works, Danny, in
Speaker 1: my marriage, and I don't know about your marriage you're
Speaker 1: newly married, is I get very upset when I find
Speaker 1: out how much ship like that cost. So it's pretty much. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's like the old military slogan, don't ask, don't tell,
Speaker 1: I don't ask how much it costs my wife does
Speaker 1: not tell it worked for the United States Military for
Speaker 1: a long time. It works for our marriage a long time.
Speaker 1: Because if I knew how much was being spent, Uh,
Speaker 1: I had probably have Uh I have a coronary, is
Speaker 1: what I have? You know? All right? She got the tickets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she made sure to buy the things. But the other thing,
Speaker 1: when I was in there and I was thinking about
Speaker 1: like old Hollywood, I was like, you know, my favorite
Speaker 1: old Hollywood person And I don't even know if he
Speaker 1: was a good actor or a comedian, this guy W. C. Fields.
Speaker 1: And I wonder because he was a big star in
Speaker 1: the nineteen forties. I wonder if he hung out at
Speaker 1: that that club, the Cassada, uh, the Cicada Club. And
Speaker 1: he has my favorite quote of all time, which is
Speaker 1: if he can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Speaker 1: It's from the all time great quotes. And Uh. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I was, I was ballroom and I did some dancing.
Speaker 1: People were like, well, how do you did? Do you
Speaker 1: know what? How I dance? You got two left fee?
Speaker 1: And I admit, Danny, I suck at dancing. You you
Speaker 1: probably have the moves out there, you know how to dance.
Speaker 1: You're more of a dance. I don't know how to dance.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the funk I'm doing, but I figured,
Speaker 1: you know, happy wife, happy life. My wife likes to dance,
Speaker 1: and so I make an effort, and I pretty much
Speaker 1: fake it till I make it. My strategy. When I'm
Speaker 1: on the dance floor, Danny, and it's like ballroom dancing,
Speaker 1: so I'm kind of like just looking at what the
Speaker 1: other dudes are doing, and I'm like, okay, I can
Speaker 1: kind of mimic that, you know, step to the right,
Speaker 1: step to the left, you know, back and forth, you know,
Speaker 1: spend the girl around. I can figure that out. That's
Speaker 1: not that hard. It's like the movie, Oh, what's the
Speaker 1: name of the movie where he's got the one move
Speaker 1: on the dance floor. He's trying to get the hot
Speaker 1: blood and he's like shaking the fake dice and his
Speaker 1: friends are like looking at him. They're like, he's got
Speaker 1: one move, but he's really working that one move. That's
Speaker 1: all you really need, man. As long as you're out
Speaker 1: there having fun, that's all that matters. I've been on
Speaker 1: dates where the girls were like crazy into dancing and
Speaker 1: they were a little harder to keep up with, even
Speaker 1: though I can dance. But at the end it was
Speaker 1: a big smile on their face. The old saying is
Speaker 1: if you won't take the girl out to dance, some
Speaker 1: other guy will. Yeah, no, no, for sure, and it
Speaker 1: was you know, it's cool, and heck, man, I'm a guy.
Speaker 1: I didn't even go to my proms, so I haven't
Speaker 1: done a lot of dancing in the in my days here.
Speaker 1: But it was cool. I'm sure we'll be there again.
Speaker 1: My wife always wants people to join us. She's like, yes,
Speaker 1: invite your friends, and my friends are busy they can't come.
Speaker 1: But uh so, if you want to do a double date, Danny,
Speaker 1: we'll have to make that happen at some point. I
Speaker 1: know that might be way down the line because there
Speaker 1: is a developmental raider who, I believe, if my math
Speaker 1: is correct, will be on the board available for the
Speaker 1: Raiders to draft. Let me do the math on this.
Speaker 1: In the year, Oh my god, oh my, twenty forty five.
Speaker 1: Oh man, oh man, dandy, we still be podcasting. I
Speaker 1: don't even know we'll be alive, but man, better be alive.
Speaker 1: I know I plan on being alive, but investilated plans
Speaker 1: of mice men and podcasters. But yeah, I congratulations, and
Speaker 1: Danny and you found the big news. Tell us how
Speaker 1: it all went down. Give me the inside skinny, the
Speaker 1: behind the scenes. Yeah. So if we uh go swing
Speaker 1: dancing at that old club with you, it's gonna have
Speaker 1: to be a few months after August. August ten is
Speaker 1: the exact do date. You know that hardly ever hits.
Speaker 1: But yeah, my chick, she uh, speaking of spending money,
Speaker 1: she sent ninety dollars to the Amazon folks and got
Speaker 1: one of those DNA kits. You know, it used to
Speaker 1: be that you'd have to wait enough weeks into it
Speaker 1: where the doctor could finally do the ultrasound and you
Speaker 1: could see some balls, and that's how they knew. Now
Speaker 1: they have these very advanced DNA tests that you just
Speaker 1: mail back and they email you with the announcement. So
Speaker 1: my girl got the email just a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1: She shows me her phone and it's blue balloons on
Speaker 1: the screen and it says it's a boy. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: that's great, that's awesome, awesome to see. And then, of course,
Speaker 1: you know, the modern generation, they like the gender reveal parties,
Speaker 1: they like the the gender reveal guns, that shoot the
Speaker 1: blue or the pink confetti, and so that was another
Speaker 1: Amazon purchase. Wifey got those pop guns for her kids
Speaker 1: and just two days ago they popped open the reveal
Speaker 1: blue and gold confetti that came out of there. The
Speaker 1: boys were celebrating. Her daughter was like, well, but there's
Speaker 1: gold in here too. She's holding out for maybe the
Speaker 1: mistake from Amazon. Yeah, just clinging on to hope that
Speaker 1: it could be a girl, because she was the one
Speaker 1: that wanted a little sister. But she was still smiling though.
Speaker 1: Everybody seems really happy that it's gonna be a boy.
Speaker 1: And what can I say, ben some powerful sperm. First
Speaker 1: it happens on the honeymoon. Second it's a boy and
Speaker 1: boom goes to dynamite. There you go, Danny G. Man,
Speaker 1: you get that macheese moment, man, Danny g clearly look
Speaker 1: at that. Well, congratulations, I'm happy for it. And you've
Speaker 1: got built in babysitters. Do the kids know that they'll
Speaker 1: be the babysitters when you guys want to go out
Speaker 1: in a few years and all that right? They know? Okay,
Speaker 1: are thinking a demand and bounty, a ransom of King's
Speaker 1: ransom to watch future Danny G. Danny G Radio two
Speaker 1: point oh, the next future broadcaster. We'll do what my
Speaker 1: mom did when I was a kid babysitting for her.
Speaker 1: She would bring me back a bag of gummy worms
Speaker 1: from Costco and say, here, you're filthy animal. This is
Speaker 1: for babysitting for five hours. Did I ever tell you
Speaker 1: the story? Me and my my older brother, we were
Speaker 1: deputized the last time we ever watched my younger brother.
Speaker 1: My parents went out to a nice meal and uh
Speaker 1: we were we were doing wrestling moves on the sofa, me,
Speaker 1: my brother, my older brother, my younger brother, and uh,
Speaker 1: my younger brother ended up breaking his arm jumping off
Speaker 1: the top of the top of the sofa, and my
Speaker 1: mom all, my god, she had so much guilt as
Speaker 1: a Jewish mother. She's like, I can't believe kids for
Speaker 1: one night and that never again, never again. We totally
Speaker 1: ruined that the rest of my mom's life and no,
Speaker 1: no more babysitting. But it was quite the quite a
Speaker 1: very memorable experience. I have a quick baby sitting tale.
Speaker 1: I loved babysitting my little sisters. They were pretty easy
Speaker 1: to deal with, my little brothers from my stepdad. They
Speaker 1: were some little assholes. There's Matthew who wound up in
Speaker 1: juvenile hall. Okay, so that, yeah, that's a whole another story.
Speaker 1: But he was always the one out in the backyard
Speaker 1: getting into trouble. His younger brother, Aaron was fighting with
Speaker 1: him and I heard them arguing in the backyard. That
Speaker 1: was a usual thing. I'm like whatever, So I'm kind
Speaker 1: of popping my head back there once in a while
Speaker 1: to make sure they're not killing each other. But I
Speaker 1: hear a a pop but air pop, and then I
Speaker 1: hear a kid screaming. I run to the backyard. There's
Speaker 1: Matthew a baby gun rifle in his arm, and there's
Speaker 1: Aaron on the other side of the backyard, blubbering, just weeping.
Speaker 1: Matthew shot Aaron with a baby gun. What Ben, He
Speaker 1: came within inches of his left eye. Oh that isn't funny.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? What could of dumbass? Yeah,
Speaker 1: m So my mom gets home and I have to
Speaker 1: exploit ain this baby gun and how he almost lost
Speaker 1: his eyeball. Oh my god. Fun times. Yeah, the horrors
Speaker 1: of babysitting. Cheez Louise. I hope my son grows up
Speaker 1: to have none of their d n A. Oh this
Speaker 1: is and you gotta make sure. My advice here, you know,
Speaker 1: fatherly advice is I think you know this. You gotta
Speaker 1: get the kid, especially in these days, you gotta get
Speaker 1: the kid. If you wanted to watch the games with you,
Speaker 1: you gotta get him hooked early, right, otherwise he will
Speaker 1: he will migrate to the video games. Great to the
Speaker 1: tell other things. But if you can get them hooked
Speaker 1: early on, you're good. Right, that's the the first few years.
Speaker 1: Like I've had some experience. I won't get into it here,
Speaker 1: but did not do the oldo the hookaroo, and you
Speaker 1: pay the price down the line. I kind of feel
Speaker 1: like my son is gonna come out in a raider onesie.
Speaker 1: You think is when I will be silver and the
Speaker 1: other black. Like I was joking, I told my tender Ronnie.
Speaker 1: I said, Oh, don't worry, he's gonna come out with
Speaker 1: an eye patch already on his eye. He'll be coming
Speaker 1: out with like a gold chain like Al Davis back
Speaker 1: in a jumpsuit, you know, white jumps a little Cligaruh.
Speaker 1: That's great. See, now you gotta come up with a
Speaker 1: name though, right, that's a whole another ball of wax
Speaker 1: act a very important thing. The name. We talked about that,
Speaker 1: so you gotta gotta play around with that, and who
Speaker 1: decides it? Do you decided the wife do it? Did
Speaker 1: you flip a coin? That's a tough one. It's crazy
Speaker 1: that you bring that up, because it's like naming rights
Speaker 1: to a stadium. All right. I was told weeks and
Speaker 1: weeks ago that I got to decide the name, and
Speaker 1: I was like, man, that is really cool of my
Speaker 1: chick to tell me I have that honor. Like nobody's
Speaker 1: gonna fight me on it. That's for me to decide.
Speaker 1: But then we do this stupid gender reveal guns and
Speaker 1: after they clean up all the confetti mess, they're talking
Speaker 1: about names for a boy because now obviously they know
Speaker 1: it's a boy. Let's find a boy's name. And suddenly
Speaker 1: I'm on the outside looking in and all these other
Speaker 1: people are trying to make my executive decision for me.
Speaker 1: They're trying to that's trying to encourage you or what's
Speaker 1: trying to sway the vote? Ya the judge. Yeah. Instantly,
Speaker 1: my girl comes upstairs and says, oh, we were all
Speaker 1: talking downstairs and we like the name blank, We like
Speaker 1: this name. Look, I have a list of names now
Speaker 1: in my phone. Wait a second, what happened to this
Speaker 1: being my decision and say, oh no, well I have
Speaker 1: to agree with it, hey told Stall. Now you see
Speaker 1: you've got multi multiple variables on this because you've got
Speaker 1: first name, second name, you a middle name. But then
Speaker 1: some people put two middle names in there, right, so
Speaker 1: you could do the two. That's kind of confusing the
Speaker 1: two minds. Yeah, some people do too. Last names. Now,
Speaker 1: that's just too many names, a lot of names. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the other thing too about the name game is
Speaker 1: you've got you gotta worry about the initials because kids
Speaker 1: are assholes. As you know, you work at a school too,
Speaker 1: and these kids if you come up with like my
Speaker 1: my middle name starts with an S so bs and uh,
Speaker 1: and then my last name starts with him so b M,
Speaker 1: which is a code for bowel movement. So as you
Speaker 1: can imagine the assholes on the playground, like the like
Speaker 1: the Google, So you gotta you gotta look out for
Speaker 1: that as well. You got like you gonna have a
Speaker 1: good first name and a lot and kind of have
Speaker 1: it rhyme with the last name, especially you know, boys
Speaker 1: not gonna who knows, but these days but I likely
Speaker 1: not going to change their name when they get older, right,
Speaker 1: so that their last name is going to stay the same.
Speaker 1: You have to have a perspective of the bully. So
Speaker 1: when you look at a potential name, you try to
Speaker 1: rhyme everything bad that you can with it, Like are
Speaker 1: there any curse words? Does it sound like any slur?
Speaker 1: But all those negroes look the same. Producer's note, He said,
Speaker 1: necros is in the pictures that were brothers, So don't
Speaker 1: get your shorts in a bunch. Yeah all right, Well, well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll get more updates on the fifth Hour
Speaker 1: podcast as the Life. I can't wait for birth. Follow
Speaker 1: you to get here at point Dexter, my new son,
Speaker 1: point Dexter. How about off? All right, So one of
Speaker 1: my michigas is, as my grandfather would say back in
Speaker 1: his day, is in the kitchen. I've been dabbling in that.
Speaker 1: Uh if only my mom was around, she'd be very impressed.
Speaker 1: She's not around, unfortunately. But the culinary arts. So we
Speaker 1: talked about this on the podcast. Fajita's Cheese Steak Burgers,
Speaker 1: The Grittle Life, Making making cookies, Baking, Benny the Baker,
Speaker 1: The Chocolate Tiers, so good times. This past weekend, I
Speaker 1: got a bug under my rug, under my skin. Uh
Speaker 1: this past weekend actually after we went dancing to the
Speaker 1: Cicada Club. I don't usually eat late at night. I
Speaker 1: only eat one meal a day. I usually fast a
Speaker 1: couple of days a week. But I decided, you know,
Speaker 1: it's New Year's Eve, it's a celebrate, and so a
Speaker 1: little late night food run to the mecca fat Cells
Speaker 1: in the hood in actually in the wood in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: So we went to that location over there in Highland
Speaker 1: in in Hollywood, just down from the is it not?
Speaker 1: Is it l A Live? No, it's not l A Live.
Speaker 1: What's the Hollywood and Highland? I think is the okay?
Speaker 1: Just down the street from there. Anyway, if you're not
Speaker 1: in l A, you have no idea what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But uh, I got my normal fat cells. I want
Speaker 1: I want to Texas fat Texas Barbecue. Oh yeah, classic.
Speaker 1: I like, I was going big. I was like, let
Speaker 1: me go back to my old eating days. And I
Speaker 1: ate those cheese steak frost delicious, delicious. And then while
Speaker 1: I'm eating it, and I didn't tell my wife this,
Speaker 1: but I got in my head, I'm like you know what,
Speaker 1: I think I could make some of this ship at
Speaker 1: the house. I can recreate fat cells. But I'm looking
Speaker 1: at the Fat Texas Barbecue, like, there's there's mozzarella sticks,
Speaker 1: there's chicken fingers, all kinds of ship, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't think I can do that. That's too complicated.
Speaker 1: I'd have to cook up like seven different things and
Speaker 1: put it all together. I don't think I can pull
Speaker 1: that off. But then I looked at the cheese steak fries.
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, that motherfucker, I can make
Speaker 1: those cheese steak fries. I can make those. And so
Speaker 1: I did. I over the weekend I did. I decided
Speaker 1: to make a rip off version. I took a couple
Speaker 1: of photos of what they look like at Fat Sous,
Speaker 1: took a photo of the menu. You'll be hearing from
Speaker 1: their attorneys the ingredients and uh and yeah, I recreated
Speaker 1: them and Chef's kiss Danny. It came out great. I
Speaker 1: cooked up the rib, I the grilled onions, I made
Speaker 1: all that, put that on the side, uh. And then
Speaker 1: I cooked up the fries. And then I put the
Speaker 1: fries down, put the steak and the onions on top,
Speaker 1: and then I put like a pounded cheese and then
Speaker 1: I put in the oven for like fifteen minutes and
Speaker 1: it was great. It was wondering. Now, not everything was
Speaker 1: a success, Danny, because I also made poutine, and I
Speaker 1: love poutine, but it didn't taste as good. I think
Speaker 1: it's because I had too much to drink and probably
Speaker 1: ate too much prior to the poutine. You gotta you
Speaker 1: gotta paste yourself with this kind of stuff. Dan, So
Speaker 1: not a big poutine fan. Not I like puttine. Well,
Speaker 1: there's different kinds of poutine um and and I do
Speaker 1: like it. It's not something I eat all that much,
Speaker 1: but I I do like the poutine, the cheese steak fries.
Speaker 1: If you like cheese steak, you like cheese steak first,
Speaker 1: you might have to come over sometime, Danny'll take a
Speaker 1: seven days to get here, but I'll make some some
Speaker 1: pop not cheese steak friends, I'll make those for you.
Speaker 1: So anyway, that was my my adventure the good eats
Speaker 1: over the weekend. So pretty Have you ever been to Canada? Yes,
Speaker 1: for like a couple of hours, but it wasn't really Canada.
Speaker 1: It was Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Have you have you?
Speaker 1: But No, I've never been, and somebody told me, well,
Speaker 1: you would like poutine if you had it there in Canada. No,
Speaker 1: poutine is really yeah, I mean it's it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: So it's just cheese curd fries and then gravy. That's
Speaker 1: traditional Canadian poutine. But they have like fast food restaurants
Speaker 1: in Canada that have all kinds of flavors of of poutine.
Speaker 1: There's a place in Anaheim that I've gone to a
Speaker 1: few times. It has like fried chicken poutine with like
Speaker 1: white gravy fried chicken pieces on top. That's really good.
Speaker 1: Yeah that sounds good. That's solid. That'll that'll fill you
Speaker 1: up pretty good. Um yeah, but I have the putine,
Speaker 1: the cheese kurds. It's also an homage to my my
Speaker 1: brother who lives in Wisconsin, because there's much of the cheese,
Speaker 1: the Wisconsin cheese and all. Anyway, now that you got
Speaker 1: us all hungry. Pop goes the culture poo poo, p
Speaker 1: thanks Ohio. So there a few of these pop goes
Speaker 1: the culture stories. So this one, how about this out
Speaker 1: of Tokyo Danny Tokyo is So these are actual pop
Speaker 1: culture stories that we've found randomly throughout the week, and
Speaker 1: we're saving them for this podcast. So the story out
Speaker 1: of Tokyo that is so crowded. How crowded is it
Speaker 1: in Tokyo? I'm glad you asked. It is so crowded
Speaker 1: in Tokyo that the government is paying families to leave Tokyo. Damn,
Speaker 1: how nuts? So is that? I mean crazy? It's like, hey,
Speaker 1: we're full. We wish California would do that. Well, people
Speaker 1: have been leaving a little bit, but not not enough
Speaker 1: to enough, not enough to affect the traffic patterns. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the big headline there. Japan is offering to pay
Speaker 1: families to move out of its overcrowded capital, trying to
Speaker 1: revitalize the countryside towns and boost the falling birth rate.
Speaker 1: Starting in April, families in metro Tokyo, including those headed
Speaker 1: by single parents, will be eligible to receive one million yen,
Speaker 1: which sounds like a lot of money, but it's seven
Speaker 1: thousand seven dollars US per child if they move to
Speaker 1: the less populated areas across the country. That's not enough money.
Speaker 1: Well it's a million yen, but that doesn't yet. It
Speaker 1: doesn't seem straight. Yeah, unless it's not. I think I
Speaker 1: should be paid in yen, I'd be a millionaire, right,
Speaker 1: will not be great if if you say, hey, I
Speaker 1: got paid in yen, I'm a yen millionaire man, that's great.
Speaker 1: Come on. Um, yeah, that's the that's a start. Tokyo
Speaker 1: is the most populous city in that country, with thirty
Speaker 1: seven million residents. How many people live in New York?
Speaker 1: I know in l A there's like twelve millions something
Speaker 1: like that. Maybe a little more than that. But that's
Speaker 1: like double New York, isn't it posted double weep city?
Speaker 1: I think? Yeah, New York has, like I want to say,
Speaker 1: nineteen million people crushed into that little space. Wow. I've
Speaker 1: never been to Tokyo. I have not. I have no idea,
Speaker 1: but I've seen photos of it. I'd like to maybe
Speaker 1: get there at some point. And I don't know you
Speaker 1: ever been to Tokyo, even been to Asia? You've never been?
Speaker 1: That would be a cool trip. I know my brother
Speaker 1: and his family go there often because his wife, her
Speaker 1: mom lives there. Um, so I hear about it. I
Speaker 1: see pictures, but I've never personally got to go. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We have a fair amount of listeners on Fox Sports
Speaker 1: TRADEO in Japan and in some of the different countries
Speaker 1: in Asia. A lot of ex pats military America were
Speaker 1: on the American Forces Network, so it's it's broadcast all
Speaker 1: over the globe. And it's like I've been told by
Speaker 1: these cats that listen a lot that it's like a
Speaker 1: little slice of home, like they feel like they're back
Speaker 1: at home. Has like home cooking. You know, you're you're
Speaker 1: away from your home for a long time, So it's
Speaker 1: kind of cool. How about this for embarrassing pop goes
Speaker 1: the culture. Cristiano Ronaldo, the legendary soccer player. He sold
Speaker 1: his soul. He took the big check from Saudi Arabia
Speaker 1: and at his introductory news conference in Saudi Arabia, do
Speaker 1: you see this, he called Saudi Arabia South Africa. I
Speaker 1: think they cut off one of his toes as it
Speaker 1: was time. Yeah, he made the slip up there. He
Speaker 1: stepped out, two thousands of fans cheering him on. But
Speaker 1: the Portuguese legend h he had the big screw up
Speaker 1: there and he didn't do that. Well you know this,
Speaker 1: it sounds like he's so desperate to get the money. Ronaldo,
Speaker 1: he's like the comedian that you know. That joke is
Speaker 1: like you're in Detroit. You know it's so great here
Speaker 1: in Cleveland. Yeah, I know. It was the old south
Speaker 1: West want to Get Away. Yeah. The lead singer of
Speaker 1: that band was like, Chicago, thanks for having us in
Speaker 1: there in Detroit. Yeah, for two million dollars a year,
Speaker 1: you might want to remember the country you're being. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would think I don't know how that all works.
Speaker 1: I'm not a soccer guy, but I would assume part
Speaker 1: of the reason that this team in Saudi Arabia signed
Speaker 1: this legendary player to a two hundred million dollar a
Speaker 1: year contract is because they want to brag that this
Speaker 1: guy's in their country and is proud to be in
Speaker 1: their country, even if he's not. So there is there?
Speaker 1: Is that? All right? The next up on pop goes
Speaker 1: the culture. An employee arrested and charged with stealing over
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand dollars. The authorities say he was inspired
Speaker 1: by the movie Office Space funneled just a few cents
Speaker 1: from every account, remember Hyeah exactly. This guy Ernie uh
Speaker 1: is his name. He's a guy at Seattle arrested by police,
Speaker 1: charged with stealing over three hundred thousand dollars in his
Speaker 1: scheme that he lifted directly from the movie Wow, but
Speaker 1: that and alive? What are you? He? Probably it was
Speaker 1: pretty cool for a while, right, I think until he
Speaker 1: got caught. Yeah. I mean, if you really want to
Speaker 1: be like the movie, then you gotta burn the place
Speaker 1: down so that there's no evidence and run off with
Speaker 1: Jennifer Aniston. It's only a couple of cents. They won't
Speaker 1: even notice. And then somebody has to somebody has to
Speaker 1: go meddling, right, and then and messed the whole thing.
Speaker 1: I've had the steepler. All right, we'll get out. We
Speaker 1: have backscratcher. Actually, let's do backscratcher. Very important part of
Speaker 1: the show. So we asked every week, we asked the
Speaker 1: electorate in the Mallard Militia, the fans of the Fifth
Speaker 1: Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G dan Any G
Speaker 1: Radio Dany soon to be Daddy G Radio Daddy, and
Speaker 1: and so we have anyway you know what's going on,
Speaker 1: give us a nice review on the podcast page on
Speaker 1: the Apple podcast page. And this week, Danny, did we
Speaker 1: get one, two or none? Let's shoot for the moon.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say we got to day Na na na Ding.
Speaker 1: You are correct that Danny g. You win a chance
Speaker 1: to listen to these reviews, isn't that exciting? Ben sucks?
Speaker 1: All right? So the first one comes from fur Dog Fries.
Speaker 1: I'll get you some of the cheese steak fries, No problem, man,
Speaker 1: I'll make those up for you. So the best podcast around,
Speaker 1: the best podcast around, fur Dog, he says. Updated review
Speaker 1: for the fifth hour is required listening for fans of
Speaker 1: the award winning Ben Mallow Show. Ben and the Great
Speaker 1: Danny g jam pack each episode with unique content not
Speaker 1: found on the radio show, like the l Bag, which
Speaker 1: is not just an enlightened segment of Ask Bend like
Speaker 1: a Brian Finley update, episodes are about forty minutes long
Speaker 1: and also also just like a Brian Finley update, always
Speaker 1: leave you wanting more. Thanks for keeping me entertained on
Speaker 1: the weekends. Do you both get five stars? Says for Dog,
Speaker 1: this guy ferg Dog is ready to deliver. Man. There
Speaker 1: was a guy that was trolling me on on Twitter
Speaker 1: and fur Dog was asking me to blow the dog whistle.
Speaker 1: He was ready to go into attack mode. And I said,
Speaker 1: this guy is not a big enough guy. We're not
Speaker 1: gonna We're not gonna attack that guy. He's not a
Speaker 1: big enough guy. We gotta save the Mallard militia can
Speaker 1: only be used. We can't activate those weapons, the social
Speaker 1: media weaponry until it's a big enough name, right, you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't be fighting a little people. You gotta fight
Speaker 1: the big people. You gotta fight above your weight class,
Speaker 1: not below your weight class. All right, last one from
Speaker 1: Gary in Pittsburgh. Thank you Gary, he says, great mesh Ben,
Speaker 1: I've listened since the beginning of the weekend podcast. God
Speaker 1: bless you, and I have to say You're rapport with
Speaker 1: Danny Gee is so much more fluid and entertaining than
Speaker 1: the stick that Mr West of the four oh five
Speaker 1: was dealing wild shots at Mr West the four five.
Speaker 1: Little karma there. Uh he can't. Uh, it can't be
Speaker 1: anymore east of the four oh five than the state
Speaker 1: with the mouse ears, That is correct, Uh, he says.
Speaker 1: I'm not a big gambler. So I am waiting for
Speaker 1: the interviews to ramp back up on the Friday podcast.
Speaker 1: But the Saturday show is still top notch, even if
Speaker 1: it's about the silly stuff that happened to your day
Speaker 1: to day lives. Keep up the great work. Just got
Speaker 1: a new iPad, so posting this review was easy peasy,
Speaker 1: signed Gary in Pittsburgh. He gave us five stars, five stars.
Speaker 1: Danny g and how can people work? Thank you? Gary? Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it's pretty easy to do. You just click onto the
Speaker 1: description of this very podcast. In there, you'll see there's
Speaker 1: a little button that says write a review. You click
Speaker 1: on that make a user name. It's easy and free.
Speaker 1: Click on the five stars if you think we're worthy,
Speaker 1: and then write your review. Boom done. Yeah you want
Speaker 1: to give us seven stars? I mean that's that's pretty well.
Speaker 1: It sounded like fur gave you five and gave me five,
Speaker 1: so that's actually ten star review right there. I'm not
Speaker 1: a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Furg has a lot of time to listen to audio content.
Speaker 1: This guy is a bulldog. This guy fur dog man.
Speaker 1: He's listening every radio show, every podcast. He listens more
Speaker 1: than my wife. This guy is unbelievable. My wife doesn't
Speaker 1: actually listen that much at all. But uh, but man,
Speaker 1: he's he's he's all about it. I gotta meet that
Speaker 1: Furg Dog at some point. He's a big, finly guy too.
Speaker 1: But one of the next time we do one of
Speaker 1: these meet and greets. We gotta get furg Dog and
Speaker 1: his buddy to come out and hang out there. We
Speaker 1: gotta shout out all the regulars. Man, the p ones
Speaker 1: are the best. And then Ben looking at the numbers
Speaker 1: of this podcast. Every weekend, there's new numbers, which means
Speaker 1: new listeners. So if you're new, we appreciate you. God
Speaker 1: bless you. Yeah, please tell a friend. That's the only
Speaker 1: advertising we have. We don't have the Cowhard budget. We
Speaker 1: don't have the Dan Patrick budget. We're not giving away
Speaker 1: sprinter vans. Uh, we don't have any of that stuff.
Speaker 1: But we love doing it. We love doing it, and
Speaker 1: I don't think I would have handled that very well,
Speaker 1: Danny having a big budget and all that stuff. No,
Speaker 1: you know, the only one who advertises you now, Caveno
Speaker 1: keeps mentioning that you're his new favorite on the network.
Speaker 1: I'm honored. I'm honored. And let me tell you, Danny,
Speaker 1: I mean that show blowing up Cavino and Rich and
Speaker 1: you guys have your own I saw in the studio
Speaker 1: the other that is these footballs in there. Yeah, those
Speaker 1: guys are so into their show they put their own
Speaker 1: money into a promotional item that was really cool. That
Speaker 1: was really neat. I saw that floating around. I might
Speaker 1: have to get my hands on one of those things
Speaker 1: because those are those are pretty cool. I could hook
Speaker 1: you up. I know somebody, you know, a guy, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was looking at as I was like, I've been
Speaker 1: here for a long time. I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: seen an item like this, like this is like this
Speaker 1: is this is crazy? Is this is really cool? So
Speaker 1: trust me, it was weeks and weeks of red tape
Speaker 1: that I went through because they had never been done
Speaker 1: at the network before. Oh no, no, hand to god,
Speaker 1: I've been there since the beginning of the network and
Speaker 1: nobody ever had any item like that. So already, Cavino
Speaker 1: and Rich they're moving mountains at Fox Sports Radio, going
Speaker 1: to areas that no one else, not even Rich Herrera
Speaker 1: or Bob Golic or Genie's Alaska or Kevin Fraser, has
Speaker 1: been able to do. It took me about twenty five emails.
Speaker 1: I mean it was it was a couple of months
Speaker 1: of continual work on it. So when those boxes arrived
Speaker 1: over the holiday, it was amazing. I couldn't believe the
Speaker 1: delivery came. Mana from heaven, all right, we'll get out
Speaker 1: on that any to promote Danny other than those great
Speaker 1: footballs that Cavino and Rich have, anything at all, anything
Speaker 1: at all. It is Saturday, so I'm actually gonna be
Speaker 1: going in to have some fun with Jonas Knox, who
Speaker 1: the hell was that? And then after that it'll be
Speaker 1: the one and only Loose Cannon himself, Steve Hartman along
Speaker 1: with I from Salam So it'll be a fun afternoon
Speaker 1: on Fox Sports radios. Danny, enjoy that. I will be
Speaker 1: sitting on my ass watching you know, the Chiefs and
Speaker 1: your Raiders and then Jacksonville and Tennessee today, hoping that
Speaker 1: my bets are winning, and I will likely be baking
Speaker 1: some kind of nonsense in the kitchen which will tell
Speaker 1: you about next week on the show. Does and have
Speaker 1: a great rest of your day today and we will
Speaker 1: catch you back in the saddle with the mail bag
Speaker 1: on Sunday. Let's go stid Hum, come on, man, go
Speaker 1: Raiders later, Skater, yeah you said it.