1 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: Hey, that folks did is Wednesday, September seventeenth, and Anna 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: wrote into us and she needed some relationship advice. We 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: gave her hours, and then you gave her yours. And 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: apparently there's no middle ground on this one. Welcome to 5 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: this ask Amy and TJ edition of Amy and TJ 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: robes this one. It sounds like we get arranged usually 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: when people write into our Yahoo advice column, but this 8 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: is one at least when from what you described, people 9 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: were either absolutely hell yeah, go for it. I had 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: a good story, or hell, know what's wrong with you? 11 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 2: Right? So the hell yeah people were those who had 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 2: similar experiences or quick love like quick dating or engagement 13 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 2: periods and got married within months and had successful relationships. 14 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 2: Some of them were long distance, some of them were not, 15 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 2: but just the duration was an issue, fact that they've 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: only known each other for eight months and have only 17 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 2: spent three weeks together. So people went on that angle, 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 2: and then other people talked about the massive long distance 19 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 2: that she's facing because yes, she lives in Oregon and 20 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 2: he lives in France, so this is Anna. And then 21 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 2: there were those who just said she was flat out crazy. 22 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 2: I actually think our advice was middle of the road. 23 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 2: I think we said it is going to be very 24 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: difficult and you have a lot of obstacles to overcome, 25 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 2: but we would never tell you to not pursue someone 26 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: who you think is the love of your life. 27 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,559 Speaker 1: And again we're talking about a young lady who wrote 28 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: into our latest Yahoo column that you can find on 29 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: Yahoo dot com in the life section, which she wrote 30 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: into us dealing with what folks A lot of folks 31 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: deal with robes a long distance relationship and long distance 32 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: from for some people can be from Manhattan to Trenton, 33 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: but for some people it's New York to LA For 34 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: some people it's Memphis and Chicago. For some people it's 35 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: a greater This woman is trying to do Orgon in 36 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: France with a man she did not have an established 37 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: relationship with. That's always the thing I harp on. Look, 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: if you're a solid you all a solid friendship, and 39 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: your relationship is solid, then deal with the challenge of distance. 40 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 1: It can work the other way too. I guess you 41 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: could start off with a long distance, but Oregon to 42 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: France is a tough one. 43 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 2: It's yes, logistically, it's it's overwhelming. 44 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: You haven't even looked that up by the away as 45 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: you're doing. How long does it take to get well? 46 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 2: You do that? I'm going to read just for people 47 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: who need a refresher, or if you haven't seen the column, 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 2: I'll read Anna's initial question to us Amy and TJ. 49 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 2: I am a twenty five year old woman and have 50 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 2: been dating the love of my life for eight months. 51 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 2: But there's one problem. He lives in France and I 52 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 2: live in Oregon. We've only met in person twice. That's 53 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: a big problem. 54 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: How many months to get eight? Okay? Sorry? 55 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 2: Once on a two week road trip here in the US, 56 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: once when I visited him, and I don't speak French, 57 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 2: so I can't communicate with his parents. But I'm convinced 58 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 2: he's the one. He's willing to move to the US, 59 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 2: but getting a job on a sponsored visa is almost 60 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 2: impossible these days. Should I apply for the fiance visa? 61 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 2: Do I marry him so he can move here? And 62 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 2: hope for the best? Anna, Okay, I. 63 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: Know a lot of people your ears perked up when 64 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: somebody says hope for the best on something like this, 65 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: But isn't that what we're all doing every single day 66 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: in major decisions we're making you do the best you 67 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: can with the information you have. 68 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: Yes, I think I was definitely struck by that last 69 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 2: phrase because I feel it. Wow, that doesn't seem that confident. 70 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 2: Hope for the best. Look, you even give me crap 71 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: When I say I'll try to do that. You say no, 72 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 2: you don't try to do something. Either you do it 73 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 2: or you don't. So it's kind of funny when someone 74 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 2: says I hope for the best. Maybe I've started to 75 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 2: come to your way of thinking. No, either you're going 76 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: to make it work and make it happen or you don't. 77 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 2: But don't just hope and leave it up to fate 78 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 2: and leave it up to chance. I do think when 79 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 2: you're in a relationship, I'll harken back to my mom 80 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,839 Speaker 2: and how unromantic this all sounded to me. But when 81 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 2: she told me, love is a decision, and I get 82 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 2: it when you have that real foundation of love and respect, 83 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 2: and when you have those two things, I do believe 84 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 2: that you can choose to make it work. You can 85 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 2: choose to get through the tough times, whether it's distance 86 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 2: or a disagreement or whatever, if you choose to keep 87 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:40,119 Speaker 2: loving someone no matter what. And I do think that 88 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 2: that is the right way to think about a relationship 89 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 2: when you're with the right person. 90 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: But again our issue you give advice there. I don't 91 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: think we would be this measure, this call if our 92 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: children came to us with this scenario, are that they 93 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 1: wanted to bring some guy from so they've known for 94 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: eight months, seen him for two weeks, and I'm going 95 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: to be financially responsible for him. For him now, I 96 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: would argue, there's so many twenty five year olds in 97 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: this country who are not financially stable and who are 98 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: dependent on their payers. Most are not already, So how 99 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: is she going to do all these things? It's just 100 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: a big hill to climb. I just didn't want to 101 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: be dismissive of what she's actually experiencing, what she's actually feeling, 102 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: because it is powerful and it is real and it 103 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: is wonderful, But it has to come with what's the line, 104 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: you tell him to stop watching. 105 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 2: Stop watching rom coms, and start watching ninety Day Fiance. 106 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: Okay, So the difference is fantasy versus reality. And so 107 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 1: the fantasy part is the love and that can be real, 108 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,280 Speaker 1: and my butterflies and my mother flutter and all these things. 109 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: But then there is the reality, and as long as 110 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: she's keeping up with the reality, which means this is 111 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: going to be hard, it can be hell, and you 112 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: better damn sure make sure he is worth fighting for. 113 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: When it's tough, because it's easy to feel that way 114 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: when everything's great and rosy and everybody's sweet and says 115 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 2: all the right things and you miss them so much. 116 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 2: Like I get that, we all get that, but I 117 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 2: do think that as long as to your point, she 118 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: really decides to get through hard times because the love 119 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 2: is worth writing for it. That's why the Whope thing 120 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 2: threw me a little bit, because I get it, Like, 121 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 2: look when I was twenty five once I understand, you 122 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 2: know you you don't know until you know, you don't 123 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 2: know what you don't know. So she's got a lot 124 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 2: of learning to do, a lot of living to do, 125 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 2: and maybe she can do it with him and through this, 126 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 2: and you only do learn through experiences. So sage, we 127 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 2: don't know his age, and we don't know how her 128 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: family feels about it. She didn't mention any of that, 129 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 2: but your comments, the readers who left comments were actually 130 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 2: they're always so fun to read. And actually we had 131 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 2: a lot of women weigh in although some of them 132 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 2: I can't tell if their manner women. So we were 133 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 2: kind of we've always had fun with the men seeming 134 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 2: to weigh in more than the women. But I can't 135 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 2: tell in some of these names if what gender were 136 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: dealing with. 137 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: So you seem to say in particular, because I always 138 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: ask right before we record folks, I don't look at 139 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: the comments. She collects them and then I just reacting 140 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: to them in real time. But I always ask, what's 141 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: the theme? That you have more men than women? It 142 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: sounded to me at least, and you're how you answered 143 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: the theme this time around. It seemed to be more 144 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: meanness or something in a lot of the comment or 145 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: not including those, but you said people were awfully nasty. 146 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 2: Well, either they were flippant and kind of even arrogant 147 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 2: about it, talking about why would you go somewhere other 148 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 2: than the United States. It's ridiculous, like there aren't enough 149 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: men here, there aren't enough potential partners in this country 150 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: that you have to go to another country, that kind 151 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 2: of thing. But really, people were either in one camp 152 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 2: or the other. There was not a lot of middle ground. 153 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: I gotta hear this all right, please, Okay, So the. 154 00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: First comment comes to us from Axiovert and axio I 155 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 2: don't even know what that means, and I don't know. 156 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: If we should apologize. We're actually have helicopters. Don't know 157 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: if you all can hear it. We're not outside, but 158 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: we have our windows open as we're looking over our 159 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: view here, which includes a lot of helicopter traffic. 160 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 2: Yes, the Hudson River known for its helicopter traffic. All right, 161 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: so hopefully you didn't hear that. But Axiovert wrote in 162 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 2: this comment to Anna, meeting twice for a short time 163 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 2: in person and she is thinking of marriage insanity and 164 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 2: if she is not willing to put the effort into 165 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 2: learning French, forget it. I agree, it's living day to 166 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 2: day with somebody, which is the test whether one can 167 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 2: live together. That's fair, That is fair. 168 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: That is very fair. The idea of meeting anybody twice 169 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: and then deciding you want to marry them seems very 170 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 1: far fetched. People have their different experiences, but how much 171 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: do you can you know someone on FaceTime? Even if 172 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 1: you're on FaceTime twice a day, four hours a day, 173 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: oh for months, is that still the same as seeing 174 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: them where they leave their underwear? How they do their toothbrush, 175 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: how they treat your kids, how they are even nice 176 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: to a dog in the elevator. Will tell you a 177 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: lot about a person, and you don't know that over FaceTime. 178 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 2: It's so true. And I actually this sounded to me 179 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 2: a lot like what you might say to Sabine in 180 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 2: a measured tone, just putting it to her in very 181 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 2: real terms. And I actually think it is an interesting point. 182 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 2: I don't want to judge her or tell her what 183 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 2: she should or shouldn't do, but I do think it's 184 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 2: interesting that she just said I don't speak French. She 185 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 2: didn't say I'm trying to learn French. I want to 186 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 2: try to learn more about his culture. I want to 187 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 2: be able to converse with his family, and she maybe 188 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: she is, she just didn't include that in the letter. 189 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 2: And that is something to consider. If you love someone 190 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 2: you want to blend your life with his and you 191 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 2: want that means blending cultures, That means understanding, that means 192 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 2: wanting to learn. 193 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: You know what, for me, if you are serious about 194 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: this being the love of your life, she should be 195 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 1: proficient in French by now what I mean by that, 196 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: if this is important to where you are making a 197 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: life plan. Step number one is communication. You have to do. 198 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: This is the most I would argue, most important things 199 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: she needs to be doing right now. 200 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 2: I know and I hate you know so many of us, 201 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: and I get it. I do not. I am not 202 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: proficient in another language. I can get by on some Spanish, 203 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 2: but it is one of those things that I always 204 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: feel a little embarrassed about as I travel as an American. 205 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 2: But if I loved someone who whose first language was 206 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 2: another language, I think it would actually be just a 207 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 2: fun challenge to put myself into that dual lingo mode 208 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 2: and start really working on another language. Now we don't 209 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 2: know if she hasn't. She just didn't include that, and 210 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 2: she did point out she doesn't speak French. 211 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: She pointed it out though always it's key to me 212 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,679 Speaker 1: and all these things like why did they mention that? 213 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: I think it must be relevant for some reason. And 214 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: the thing is if she she should be. If she 215 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: has a French teacher, just talk to him in French. 216 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, how cool is that? 217 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: It's very good. It's the best way to learn. But anyway, 218 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: we don't know exactly what's going on there with Yes 219 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: to your point on that point, I didn't emphasize or 220 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: harp that. 221 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 2: Enough, so Axiover was not in favor of her applying 222 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 2: for the day point visa. All right, MM writes this, 223 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 2: I met my then pen friend in July of nineteen 224 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,319 Speaker 2: eighty one. We had just a six week We had 225 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 2: just six weeks writing each other before meeting. That July, 226 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 2: we toured the area. I showed him the sites. We 227 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 2: went to an Ario Speedwagon concert. I kind of love that. MM. 228 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 2: I'm a fan too, and watched the royal wedding of 229 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 2: Diana and Charles on TV. He was from England and 230 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 2: I from the US. We married the following October in 231 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: nineteen eighty one. For the following six months he went 232 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 2: to war with Argentina and all we had were letters daily. 233 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 2: Next month we celebrate forty four years together. So yes, 234 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 2: it can happen. I wish them luck and happiness. 235 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: That is so cool. What a great story, But I'm 236 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,839 Speaker 1: still trying it. What's the timing though? That take me 237 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: through the dates again. The timing is what she met. 238 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 2: Her pen friends. So she met him first, and she said, 239 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 2: I met my then pen friend in July of nineteen 240 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 2: eighty one, and we had so they had just basically they. 241 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: Were writing each other. 242 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 2: So I had a pen pal when I was in 243 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 2: grade school in the eighties actually, and she was in Italy. No, 244 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 2: it wasn't a guy. It was just like your friends, 245 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 2: like EXAs. But I was a thing back then. 246 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 1: Don't break up over this baby. It was way back then. 247 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,839 Speaker 1: I'm not going to hold your past relationships against you. 248 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 2: Know. The funny thing is, yes, hilarious, so you are 249 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 2: still writing. But no, it's a her and it was. 250 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 2: It was in second grade. We were given like a 251 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 2: writing I can't even remember her name. 252 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: But you might not know if it was a man 253 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: or a woman. 254 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 2: It was a class project where we each got a 255 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,439 Speaker 2: pen pal. But second grade, yes, but it was so 256 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 2: exciting anyway, So back then that was the thing. In 257 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 2: the eighties, we didn't have email, we didn't have the internet. 258 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: We had pen pals. 259 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: So I'm setting up her timeline. Yes, a pen pal though, 260 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: so they could have been communicating. Who knows how long. 261 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 2: They wrote each other for just six weeks? Oh, actually 262 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 2: back and forth. They wrote just for six weeks, back 263 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,079 Speaker 2: and forth before they ended up meeting in July of 264 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: nineteen eighty one. They married in October of nineteen eighty one. 265 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: The same year. Yes, the sick say six months, so 266 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: what's the difference. 267 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean July, not even July, August, September, October, oh, 268 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 2: three months. They met after writing for six weeks and 269 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 2: they married in three months. Hey you know, hey, that's true, 270 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 2: especially in this case. But then once they got married, 271 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 2: he then had to go to Argentina to go to 272 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 2: war for six months. Did not know there was a 273 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 2: British war that he had to go to in Argentina. 274 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 2: But so then for six months they wrote letters daily. 275 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 2: So that's pretty cool they had that connection. There is 276 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 2: something about a handwritten letter that's pretty cool. 277 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: It's and it's personal, and it takes time, and it 278 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: takes thought because you can't just erase it and mean 279 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: to do that. You have to think through what you're saying. 280 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: I love love love a letter. 281 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 2: And so he came back from war and they've been 282 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 2: together for forty four years. 283 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: I would love to talk to her as well. We 284 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: should look her up, we should track her down, and 285 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: we should have her a part of our love story series. 286 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: But I am that window. What was it in the 287 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: six weeks of writing? So you're essentially talking about four 288 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: and a half months of knowing somebody and you were married, 289 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: correct and only three months of that? Where did you 290 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: know each other face to face? Is that correct? It 291 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: can happen, and I think that's the story that's in 292 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: so many rom coms that works out, and we think 293 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: that is the norm, or is yes, it's aspirationable, aspirational. 294 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: Even if it's not necessarily likely, right, And I think 295 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 2: obviously MM would tell you it wasn't all rainbows and 296 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: sunshine and unicorn. I mean there are. It's a marriage 297 00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 2: and it has its ups and downs what I'm talking about, 298 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 2: But I think that's pretty cool and it's nice to 299 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 2: have Anna see that she talked about hope. MM gave 300 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 2: her hope. 301 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: All right, So we got a few more to get through, 302 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: so stay with us. We got a few more coming 303 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 1: and Robes. I'm gonna let you do the tas you 304 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 1: tell me. What is it that people got to make 305 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: sure they stick around in here? In terms of the 306 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: responses from people to our writer. 307 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 2: Okay, well, we have another a few other really cool 308 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 2: long distance love stories that are worth hearing, like they 309 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 2: will inspire you. So that's pretty cool. And then you 310 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 2: have well a cheeky response that's fun to listen to. 311 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: All right, stay here for the cheekiness and the fun. 312 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 2: Welcome back to this edition of Amy and TJ. It 313 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 2: is our ask Amy and TJ. But it's our favorite 314 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 2: version of that because this is when we read some 315 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: of our favorite comments that were left from our Yahoo 316 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 2: advice column Ask Amy and TJ. It's there in the 317 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 2: life section on yahoo dot com. And this was a 318 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: question from Anna. She's known her the love of her life, 319 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 2: she says, for eight months. She's only met him in 320 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 2: person twice and spent a total of three weeks with him, 321 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 2: and yet she wants to know if she should go 322 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 2: ahead and apply for the fiance visa and marry the 323 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 2: guy and hope for the best. But she doesn't speak French. 324 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 2: She lives in Oregon and he lives in France. So 325 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 2: she's got a lot of things working against her, but 326 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 2: a lot of love that she wants to share and 327 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 2: develop with him. So Martin writes this to Anna, and 328 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: actually he quotes you in the beginning, so this will 329 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 2: be a little ataboy to you. So Martin starts off 330 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 2: with your advice and he put it in quotes. If 331 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 2: you know he's the love of your life, then why hurry? 332 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 2: Why not spend time building the relationship instead of marrying 333 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 2: and potentially making a mistake that will take years to undo. 334 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 2: If you get engaged and he moves here, then you're 335 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 2: responsible for him and you've only known him for eight 336 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,399 Speaker 2: months and you can't speak French. That's a lot. Do 337 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 2: you remember saying that? Sounds like you I was. 338 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 1: Just about to say that exact thing. What was the 339 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: first part of that? 340 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 2: Again, if you know he's the love of your life, 341 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 2: then why hurry? 342 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 1: But others can say, if you know he's the love 343 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 1: of your life, why wait? 344 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so he goes on. Martin goes on 345 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 2: to say, I completely agree with this point. So he 346 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 2: agrees with you, TJ. And then he says this, I 347 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 2: made the move to India to marry my wife. That 348 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 2: was fifteen years ago. We also met online in a 349 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 2: chat room. We became friends first, and then over a 350 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 2: period of one and a half years, we met when 351 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 2: I took my first trip to India. Nearly two years later, 352 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 2: I then moved to India and we married. 353 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: Wow. 354 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 2: What made the difference for us is that we spent 355 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 2: the time getting to know each other. Oh yeah, through 356 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 2: daily chats, both text and video calls. Through that we 357 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 2: were able to establish a sense of not only respect, 358 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 2: but one of trust woo, which are cornerstones for any relationship. 359 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 2: So from my perspective, I would give the same advice 360 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 2: don't rush and take your time because if you are 361 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 2: meant to be then be patient and it will happen. 362 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,880 Speaker 1: Hey, how can you? Wow? That's not the last one 363 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,520 Speaker 1: that this was great. That was a mic dropper. That 364 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: was great. But I love that people take it seriously, 365 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: like they are actually feeling like they're looking out for 366 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: someone and giving genuine advice and they're being vulnerable and 367 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: doing it. I love it. Thank you, thank you. 368 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 2: Yeah. And that was really cool because he had a 369 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 2: similar experience, but he took a different path than she's suggesting. 370 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 2: And I do think that if I agreed with anybody 371 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 2: the most, it would be. 372 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 1: Martin And I say that thing at the top. If 373 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 1: you know, then what's the rush? If you know why 374 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: the wait? Which way do you? Then? Oh? 375 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: WHA can be so in the former category because I 376 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 2: have done the rush and it hasn't worked because I 377 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 2: didn't take the time to actually get to know someone 378 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 2: and this wasn't somebody I was dealing with in a 379 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 2: long distance relationship. 380 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: No, it's the one you're saying right right. The argument 381 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 1: they're making, both of them. 382 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 2: If you know somebody's the one, take the time to 383 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 2: make sure because you'll make morement. 384 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 1: So you don't know that because you. 385 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 2: Know what in that moment. But if that not, that 386 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 2: might not be the same knowledge you have a year 387 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 2: from now or two years, because you will have learned more. 388 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 2: You will have learned more with the knowledge you have 389 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 2: right now. You are speaking the truth. But you don't 390 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 2: know everything information. You don't have enough information. Please, I 391 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 2: have lived this. You don't have enough information in eight months. 392 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 2: And look, sometimes my mom will even say this. My 393 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,959 Speaker 2: mom got married. My mom and dad got married at 394 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 2: the age of eighteen, and they literally say this to 395 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 2: me all the time. And I don't think it's just 396 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 2: to make me feel better about my two exes. They 397 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 2: say to me, Amy, at that age, we had no 398 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 2: idea what we're doing. We got lucky. We got lucky. 399 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 2: And I do think there is something to that. Yes, 400 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,199 Speaker 2: it can work, it absolutely can. You can meet somebody 401 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 2: in the next day marry them, and it can work. 402 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 2: But it also probably won't. And I mean, you really 403 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 2: do have to get lucky, I think to not know 404 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 2: someone the way I think you should know someone and 405 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 2: or or the other thing is you come from similar backgrounds, 406 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 2: you have this similar belief that you just choose love 407 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,880 Speaker 2: no matter what, and you just have that same mindset. 408 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: It's just rare these days. So I just I really 409 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 2: like what Martin had to say. Okay, we'll move on 410 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 2: now to Patrick. Patrick. Patrick and Kat I've got two 411 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 2: short ones that are very similar. So I just included 412 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 2: them just to make Anna feel maybe a little bit 413 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 2: better about that hope thing. Patrick, my wife and I 414 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 2: dated four months when we got married. Two of those 415 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 2: months were spent waiting on the church. That was fifty 416 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 2: two years ago. It's cute, that's cute. I just wanted 417 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 2: to include that little nod. 418 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: And then Keith decide if you wanted to get married 419 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: in two months? 420 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, they knowew in two months, yepo, and fifty two 421 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 2: years later they're still together. 422 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: That was all. 423 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was very quick. It was very cute. Kat 424 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 2: had a similar one. I met my hobby. He was 425 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 2: in Connecticut. I lived in Ontario, Canada, nineteen ninety eight. 426 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 2: Online in an AOL chat room. We met in person 427 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: a few months later. I would have married him that 428 00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 2: week celebrated twenty six years in July. It gives you hope, 429 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,800 Speaker 2: it does. So I just wanted to include those two 430 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 2: because if they look, we all are rooting for that, 431 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,199 Speaker 2: and that sounds so beautiful and amazing, and it actually 432 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 2: makes me get emotional hearing both of those. So that's 433 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,880 Speaker 2: why I wanted to include them. All right, So maybe 434 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 2: I shouldn't have ended on this hour note. You're right, 435 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 2: I put it. I should have put Martin at the end. See, 436 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 2: I'm going to end on. 437 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,119 Speaker 1: Aw do we have to add the last one? 438 00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 2: You know what? 439 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: We're teasing it too much, We don't. We're messing with people. 440 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 2: I did. I did say there was a little bitterness. 441 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: So now everybody's like that. 442 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,879 Speaker 2: Maybe I'll just end on another nod to Martin at 443 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 2: the end? 444 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:11,439 Speaker 1: All right? 445 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 2: Richard wrote this, did they run out of men in 446 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,679 Speaker 2: Oregon or even in the continental US? And did they 447 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 2: run out of women in France? You met someone from 448 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 2: France and got the hots for him in parentheses lust 449 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 2: then fell in love not thinking about the consequences. 450 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: Wah wah, you know what I hear that it is possible. Yeah, 451 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: he describes a possible some would say likely, but also 452 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: a very frequent happening. It does, It's going to happen 453 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 1: to day somewhere. Okay, so what do you do? Yeah 454 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 1: he was a little snarky with that, but the idea 455 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: out of you can't help who you fall in love with, 456 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: where that person might be. Sometimes you were blessed enough 457 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 1: to be in France and meet somebody. Congratulations to you, 458 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 1: but you can't have anything. I get that, and I 459 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 1: don't know the dating scene in Oregon. By the way, 460 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: I don't need anybody. 461 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 2: And I think somebody, Yeah, well, who doesn't love a 462 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,440 Speaker 2: French accent? That just makes everybody sexier. You can take 463 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 2: like the least sexy person and have them to speak 464 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 2: French and I'm like, wow, they're kind of cute. 465 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 1: And you know what, what's the thing. What's the number 466 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: one thing about dating that I say? I cannot if 467 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: I see smoking smoking, can't do it? 468 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 2: A lot of French smoke. Is that what you're thinking? 469 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 2: You know, you can make some exceptions, so the accent 470 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 2: would out would outweigh the accent. 471 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,640 Speaker 1: The attitude. The style is just something just we love 472 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: about the French for some reason something. 473 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 2: It's that that's what it is. 474 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: We don't actually know what to do, but good luck 475 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: to you and we are rooting for you. And again 476 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,720 Speaker 1: to everybody that's been writing in, thank you for being vulnerable. 477 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: We're just trying to have more realistic relationship conversations this 478 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 1: column has allowed us to do. So we're looking forward 479 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,439 Speaker 1: to possibly expanding and doing much more and bigger things 480 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: with Yahoo down the pike. But this was a certainly 481 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: a wonderful, wonderful way for us to get our relationship 482 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: going with them, and I am rose. This has been 483 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 1: great because I didn't expect. People took so much of 484 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 1: so many of the questions so seriously and to heart 485 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: and were vulnerable and we started having conversations I didn't expect. 486 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: So this has been great. 487 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it has been because it feels a little more 488 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,239 Speaker 2: old school, back in the day when we didn't have 489 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 2: text chat rooms that we had advice columns and people 490 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 2: writing in and so this was really fun, a really 491 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 2: fun experiment, and we really appreciated everybody coming along the 492 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 2: ride with us. But thank you for listening today. I'm 493 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,239 Speaker 2: Amy Robach alongside TJ. Holmes and we'll talk to you 494 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 2: real soon.