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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You may know

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Speaker 1: us from posting funny videos with our boys and reading

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Speaker 1: each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll

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Speaker 1: make you need derby most days. Wow. And one more

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Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created

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Speaker 1: this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most

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Speaker 1: taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about

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Speaker 1: through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead adds

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Speaker 1: is the term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,

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Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about

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Speaker 1: to take Phillow Talk to a whole new level. Dead

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Speaker 1: as starts right now. Listen, give yourselves some kudos. We

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Speaker 1: just came home. This crowd right here is by far

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Speaker 1: the best crowd we've got that did Philly three years ago. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it was only about we only had my hundred ship

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Speaker 1: was live the whole time. Yes, Yes, so yo, shout

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Speaker 1: out to Philly. We love y'all, Philly. Yes, so listen,

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Speaker 1: we told you guys, who's gonna make this about you?

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Speaker 1: Not us? Right, So it's about that time to make

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Speaker 1: this about y'all about to play a little game. All right,

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Speaker 1: you already everybody nervous. Now, look everybody's in there yelling

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Speaker 1: at me, getting the mix right, and they get what

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Speaker 1: the fun? We played our money more now, we say,

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Speaker 1: y'all and everybody like, what's not to look like? Don't

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Speaker 1: pick me please? All right? So we want to get

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Speaker 1: you guys involved. What we're gonna do now, According to

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Speaker 1: Triple our producer who you meant earlier? Like you do

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Speaker 1: like getting a chance to me? Trible, get trouble around,

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Speaker 1: ye Trible. So Triple Triple is one of the main

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Speaker 1: creators of how the show runs. She came up with

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Speaker 1: karaoke time, we do story time. She's the master mind

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Speaker 1: behind that. On top of that, she's just a really

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Speaker 1: talented writer. Um, she tells Joe, she's just an adult person.

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Speaker 1: So shout out the Triple. Everybody gives you a triple

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Speaker 1: A round of applause. Trible. So I no Triple had

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Speaker 1: people writing in couple of singles and all that, trying

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Speaker 1: to see who would like to be involved in today's show.

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Speaker 1: So we've selected, or she's selected rather three couples who

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Speaker 1: will be coming to the stage and we will play

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Speaker 1: a little game, be a little situation up here. So

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Speaker 1: I don't believe you know how many dudes in the

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Speaker 1: same enough you should you better not that's happened to me. Like, baby,

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Speaker 1: I ain't writing about it. Don't worry about it. Ain't

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Speaker 1: I getting up on that June right, all right, So

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna say who it is. I won't give

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Speaker 1: the names that I'm going to read the stories that

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Speaker 1: you guys have submitted, and then if the story sounds familiar,

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Speaker 1: like it's y'all, you're better nudge your man and be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: that's us. We gotta get up. I'm saying, let's go.

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Speaker 1: Let's go, all right, So we have press your contestants

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Speaker 1: number one. We call this pressure because we're gonna push

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Speaker 1: y'all pressure. Okay. Our love stories started when we met

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Speaker 1: as children. I was eleven and he was twelve. My

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Speaker 1: first crush, first boyfriend, just my older brother's friend. That

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Speaker 1: sounds familiar to anybody, yet that freshet over. You're talking

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Speaker 1: my system. I love you, don't married that, right. We

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Speaker 1: dated for a while and then I moved to another town.

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Speaker 1: He found me again. We dated for a few months

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Speaker 1: and then I moved in. Finally, we saw each other

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Speaker 1: again at six Flags, and we haven't let each other

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Speaker 1: go since. In no way are we that perfect couple,

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Speaker 1: but we've been able to grow together, to learn from

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Speaker 1: one another, and what's most important to us, we are

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Speaker 1: loyal to one another. We now have two beautiful boys,

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Speaker 1: Brendan Jr. Or b J. Who was now three, in Landon,

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Speaker 1: who is four months. Brendan is the love of Brandon

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Speaker 1: is the love of my life. He is truly my

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Speaker 1: best friend. Where you at? Where where y'all at? The late?

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Speaker 1: That's why you can't do shows in Philly, But I

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Speaker 1: swear the God bro I sweet. All right, welcome to

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Speaker 1: the stage, y'all, let's go. Nice to meet you, Nice

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Speaker 1: to meet you. Yes, drink because you don't know what

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Speaker 1: to expect. Yes you are not side. All right, y'all

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Speaker 1: can stand right over here, standing right over there us

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Speaker 1: a real comfortable these drinks setting in alright. Couple number two,

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Speaker 1: This is a short one. Here. We are two women

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Speaker 1: who have been living together for eleven years and married

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Speaker 1: for three. We are high school sweethearts. We got together

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Speaker 1: our senior year of high school. We're currently employed, but

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Speaker 1: also have our own businesses as well kids. Yet we

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Speaker 1: have a dog, godchildren and lots of nieces and nephews.

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Speaker 1: Who's that that's not familiar to anybody? Alright, com raw

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Speaker 1: and less so for the state of time. Just so

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Speaker 1: we can get the bull rolling, I'm gonna introduce the

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Speaker 1: third couple so they can make their way to the

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Speaker 1: station case stamptop two. All right, So we were both

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Speaker 1: both born and raised in the Bronx, and I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: to hear that, Brooklyn baby all day. We were born

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Speaker 1: and raised in the Bronx and graduated high school in

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Speaker 1: two thousand four together. Unbeknownst to me, Tony was watching

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Speaker 1: me all four years of high school. Tony said, I

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Speaker 1: told you about for me. Come on, damn it. Remember

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Speaker 1: I did this. When we get home, you better not

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Speaker 1: fall asleep in the can. While I wasn't watching watching

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Speaker 1: him because I thought he was a nerd. In two

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Speaker 1: thousand eighteen, he reached out on the face and then

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Speaker 1: she she was a nerd. Bro Damn Tony. It was

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Speaker 1: a tough one. In two thousand eighteen, he reached out

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Speaker 1: on Facebook after making sure that I was single. At

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Speaker 1: the beginning, I was dubbing him for a while not purposely,

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Speaker 1: but when I realized that he was consistent, I gave

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Speaker 1: him my number. That same night, you spoke on the

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Speaker 1: phone for hours, and every night after that we slept

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Speaker 1: on the phone together. One twenty any team is when

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Speaker 1: my life changed for the better. In our tober one

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Speaker 1: is when he proposted me our wedding is set for

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Speaker 1: August five. Let's tell us how we're gonna set this up.

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Speaker 1: Couple number one, see triple triple talked about being thick.

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Speaker 1: Now she's gonna come on the stage and just show

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Speaker 1: y'all all the thing, slick, trouble, single y'all. She trying,

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Speaker 1: she trying to get clothes out here. Alright, The New

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Speaker 1: Yorkers was getting in triples ms last night. Billy getting together.

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Speaker 1: All right, Couple number one, I'm gonna up here. Want

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Speaker 1: to read the rules of the game. Here's how it over.

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Speaker 1: This is your box, right hand pound coming on the

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Speaker 1: two coming on with two rules for no reason. All right,

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Speaker 1: So each couple, we'll sit back to back. We're staying

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Speaker 1: rather because we don't have seats up here, and they're

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Speaker 1: gonna have a marker and no path with triple are

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Speaker 1: given to them now and I will add ask the

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Speaker 1: women and men questions respectively, allowing them to answer that

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Speaker 1: their spouse would say, so all, you're married or about

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Speaker 1: to be married, at least engaged or something okay, great, perfect.

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Speaker 1: Each player will write down their answer without consulting with

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Speaker 1: their significant other to see whose partner is best or

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Speaker 1: knows the partner best. Each player will have fifteen seconds

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Speaker 1: to answer, and the timer will go off when the

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Speaker 1: music stops. All right, makes sense, we got five questions.

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Speaker 1: That was time for the pressure. All right, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask questions to the ladies or both of

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Speaker 1: your ladies, y'all can answer, all right now? Before I

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Speaker 1: ask these questions, there's one rule. Dead Ask podcast is

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Speaker 1: a safe space of no judgment. So it takes a

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Speaker 1: lot to come up here and participate in these games.

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Speaker 1: Do not judge these people while you here, Wait till

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Speaker 1: you go home, an't explain. Let's playdin and I enjoy

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Speaker 1: doing this, doing this type of show because we want

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Speaker 1: people to feel comfortable speaking about their truth and understanding

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Speaker 1: that everybody's story is different. So I don't want you

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Speaker 1: to feel uncomfortable if your truth is something that people

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Speaker 1: aren't normal, is normal to people it's not fair. Let's

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Speaker 1: normalize be giving grace and being accepting. Deal. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: That's why I love y'all. Question number one, question no, no, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is for the latest. This is for the ladies.

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Speaker 1: This is for the latest. Let's do it this way

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Speaker 1: since we have you on the side, soever, we're standing,

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Speaker 1: I guess towards the rights. Yes, yes, So I'm going

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Speaker 1: to ask the ladies, and what's your name, ma'am ra?

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Speaker 1: Now ask rock? So as ladies in the Rock's gonna

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Speaker 1: ask you how many times per week? What your partners say?

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Speaker 1: Y'all have sex? All right? Who's playing that? Work seven

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Speaker 1: days a week? Pens down? Couple number one? When the

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Speaker 1: count a three show everybody? Your answer? One to breathe

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Speaker 1: every day? I smell a cat. I smell a cat.

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Speaker 1: The mic again, okay, so you put the baby. Ain't

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Speaker 1: no judgments here, so y'allocated in every day? She was like, god, damn,

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Speaker 1: all right. We went on the secret come on number

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Speaker 1: two three to what hit it? Stop? Stop cut cat cut,

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Speaker 1: So that's got me zero. I was very clear. Was

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Speaker 1: I'm not clear? I wasn't, so no, I said, So

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Speaker 1: I said, I was, No, We're gonna were going to

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Speaker 1: the French I said, I was gonna ask the ladies

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Speaker 1: how many times will be would your partners say you

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Speaker 1: have sex? That's what I said. Uh, I never said that, Bro,

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Speaker 1: you're the only one that's Hey, let's take a boat.

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Speaker 1: Who understood what I said? Y'all have a lot of arguments,

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Speaker 1: don't you. He's an eries like you Devalacie. Right, Oh

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Speaker 1: so you don't know your fault? Yeah, that's like me.

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Speaker 1: It's cool though, it's cool though, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't like to make fault either. I'm I'm allied to

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Speaker 1: take it to the grave. I heard what I heard?

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Speaker 1: Are you with me? So about both of you are answering?

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Speaker 1: But you're thinking about what your spouse are significant other with?

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Speaker 1: Here you go. That's the clarity. That's why I give

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Speaker 1: the directions. But he wants to give the directions. But whatever,

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Speaker 1: here we are here, we are here, we are an

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Speaker 1: ample opportunity to join, and she ain't saying nothing. You

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Speaker 1: got it all right, So we're gonna give you all

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Speaker 1: three more seconds because y'all still you've seen it already,

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Speaker 1: all right, So y'all'll get on points, all right, covering

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Speaker 1: on the three three to what she said, five times

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Speaker 1: a day, you'll be having sex five times a day.

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Speaker 1: Bro a week a week, A week a week, You'll

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Speaker 1: y'all be having five times a week. What's what's what

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Speaker 1: you do together? Keeping? I need to know the secret?

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Speaker 1: Do you all want to know the secrets to have

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Speaker 1: sex five times a week? Put me on? Oh, put

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Speaker 1: me on? He said. She said that he cooks for her.

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Speaker 1: That's easy. I'll put waffles in the toadst every day.

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Speaker 1: I was about to say, yo, I would love for

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Speaker 1: you to cook for me every day. Let's see how

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Speaker 1: that work out. All right, let let's try that out

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Speaker 1: for a week and see how it works out. No,

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Speaker 1: you ain't gonna do let's trying for a week, all right.

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Speaker 1: We got this on camera. Everybody on this. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: try for cook every day for a week. The first

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Speaker 1: time I'm gonna come in our room. I'm not letting down.

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Speaker 1: That's every day anyway, that's every day anyway. Ship. That

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Speaker 1: was just that stage. It's a question number two. So

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Speaker 1: we got the rhythm of how things are going. Now

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Speaker 1: everyone's writing something. We're writing big enough so the audience

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Speaker 1: can see you good. Mr Ariy. Yeah, I'm good, good, good, good,

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Speaker 1: y'all two over here. Okay, So question number two. If

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Speaker 1: you were riding in the car with your spouse and

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Speaker 1: their mom, who would your spouse want to sit in front?

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Speaker 1: That This is not this is not even a question.

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Speaker 1: There's not even a question. This is a true story.

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Speaker 1: The minute I got engaged, my mother came up to

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Speaker 1: me and said, hey, Tekadine, she can go on the front.

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Speaker 1: That literally, shout out to my mother in law. Your

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Speaker 1: wife always comes first. I'm your mama, understand that. Tell Codina.

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Speaker 1: So it wasn't even I don't have a way about it.

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Speaker 1: My mom told step back, shout out to Karen. Alright,

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Speaker 1: a couple number two, all right, change it up a bit.

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Speaker 1: Me and me say, period, that's one point in the middle.

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Speaker 1: Who's keeping score? Triple you guys score, keep keeping score too.

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Speaker 1: You're the person that keeps going on spaces, ain't you us?

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Speaker 1: First time? Yeah? I know, coming on with three Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: a wife in front coming on one, Mom, listen, judgment.

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Speaker 1: This is the this is the this is the I'm

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Speaker 1: so glad it's happened, right, because we, as a community

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Speaker 1: of people tend to do what judge people don't do

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Speaker 1: things like us. Right, if they both agreed that their

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Speaker 1: mom gonna sit in the front, that's all that matters,

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Speaker 1: you see what I'm saying. So what's your mindset real

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Speaker 1: quick about that? What my mom said in the front

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Speaker 1: and her mom getting the cart in the back, and

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Speaker 1: when my mom getting my just respect for my mom period.

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Speaker 1: All right, that's a great point because a lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't understand that they're looking at the people's marriage

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Speaker 1: and I can't believe they did that. Well, you don't

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Speaker 1: gotta believe you and ship they went in there. That's

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Speaker 1: all I'm not. Social media make it worse. Social media

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Speaker 1: people we comment on other people's marriages, don't managed all

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Speaker 1: the time me while the marriage your home infloding like

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Speaker 1: a motherfucker in bloating exploring number three. That's on you, baby,

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Speaker 1: it's question number three. I'm trying to make sure make

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Speaker 1: this public because this is this is inclusivity. It's important, right, inclusive. No,

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Speaker 1: so ladies and right because I can't just say ladies

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Speaker 1: because they're both ladies. Stop laughing. It's not difficult. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying. You're trying to make it right, Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: with this question directed towards you and the rest of you.

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Speaker 1: He's just gonna starts happing on your shoulder. You answered,

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Speaker 1: if your partner had to give you an A plus

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Speaker 1: for a certain sex position, what would that sex position be? Yo?

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Speaker 1: Let's listen, man, My wife finds she don't get dressed

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Speaker 1: like this all the time you had to put off

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Speaker 1: for y'all, and you know he's getting the benefits of it,

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Speaker 1: so trust all right, all right, he's talk about coming

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Speaker 1: number three, Yes, coming up to everybody? Got the answer down?

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Speaker 1: Covered up, no cheating, covered up A three, show your

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Speaker 1: answers in three to one, the old no, let shut up?

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Speaker 1: What's about? Right? There? We go? There we go. I

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Speaker 1: love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I guess he ain't he ain't a nerd? No more,

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Speaker 1: says is he ain't Harry no more? Do it in

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Speaker 1: your back? That's what I'm doing. Hey, baby, sit out,

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Speaker 1: don't you with somebody's gravy? Give you some extra stuff in?

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Speaker 1: I love it. Couple number one in three two reverse

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Speaker 1: cow riding back shots. Yeah, y'all, nsty that's how you

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Speaker 1: got them boys. I know something about that. Two boys. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if y'allre looking for the boy recipe. Clearly, that's what

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Speaker 1: it is. Is Is. I happened to uh favor that myself

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Speaker 1: last night. She was excited. Another story. Oh my god, Devo,

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Speaker 1: please spare them. Coming over to three to one. Okay,

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Speaker 1: now I don't trouple out here talking about some talking

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Speaker 1: about getting away. I'm like, what the going on? I

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Speaker 1: came out. We cares, no, no people care? Now the

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Speaker 1: scissors all being good? All right? Number four, If your

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Speaker 1: spouse gave you or your partner gave you a whole pass,

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Speaker 1: what celebrity would they use it for? So let's have

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Speaker 1: it reversed now, so we'll have the hall pass will

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Speaker 1: be given to with a gentleman and also lex right, yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: so if your spouse give you all pass for any celebrity,

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Speaker 1: who would you piss? All right? What we got going

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Speaker 1: on over here? We got the celebrity who's getting pass

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Speaker 1: too many? Bro? What man? He's says on the paper?

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Speaker 1: I do look at Hooty too. I do. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, there's no judgments if it go, I

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Speaker 1: did judge met you' like arguing he are you all

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Speaker 1: the time? Don't? It's like, I'm get on the mirror. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking hard to about absolutely mirror, mirror on the wall.

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Speaker 1: All right, who's giving answers? First? Number one? Turn it Beyonce?

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Speaker 1: He Holly bad and okay, writing everybody he's that he's

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Speaker 1: that holly Berry. But really this one Beyonce? A right.

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Speaker 1: That's how Ally's arguing, were you on the debate team

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Speaker 1: because if that was on the big team too, were

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Speaker 1: you in the let's be aries thing? Exactly? Exactly? See,

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Speaker 1: you can't win a couple Number two, No one, no past,

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Speaker 1: I'll be what you want. I smell, no role play. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we ain't hall past. Now be whoever you want me

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Speaker 1: to be. Baby like that. I can rock with that.

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Speaker 1: I can rock with that. And that's two times Lexi

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Speaker 1: said she wants some heads. Lexi focused on listening. It's

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Speaker 1: going down, tot, I want some ask how about that? Right?

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Speaker 1: Do you? Cat? I told you to stop touching here

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Speaker 1: y'all judging? Wait till later at nine o'clock nine, you

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Speaker 1: can touch motherfucker. Meanwhile, he's like, well, learn something new

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Speaker 1: every day? Does your cat? Alright? Alright? And question number

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Speaker 1: five ask questions, so where where are we at? With

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Speaker 1: the score. Who's winning? Right now? She was ready? Four

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Speaker 1: three two alright, four three two alright for the wind.

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Speaker 1: Now rumber this last question. He needs to take a

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Speaker 1: feet I remember, I don't listen. I don't even need

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Speaker 1: calling I U. This is for both of y'all. Who's

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Speaker 1: I love you first? And where did it happen? Yeah, alright,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna start with coping number two. Let me see

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Speaker 1: your answering three to one, me getting head. It's all

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Speaker 1: on the same paper, y'all trying to preserve trees. You'll

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Speaker 1: could have flipped the page. But it's all right. Every

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Speaker 1: time I seen the page. Just head on your words

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Speaker 1: to me, because that's a that's obvious sign. Somebody worst

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Speaker 1: into that when it comes to that. All right, me

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Speaker 1: car smoking, They were in the car while y'all smoking tree.

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Speaker 1: All right, they were smoking tree in a car, was right.

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Speaker 1: They could have been smoking cigarettes. They could have been

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Speaker 1: smoken hook up. It couldn't be mass though. No Juanna

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Speaker 1: aka Sweeting's no marijuana. A couple of a couple of

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Speaker 1: number three three to one back, he said me and

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Speaker 1: my shot, you said me on the phone, and let

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Speaker 1: me wait. But y'all both said me right, See how

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Speaker 1: she came at me. I know who like to argue

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Speaker 1: in this relationship? All right, cheer harries. That's why, that's why,

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Speaker 1: that's why I shout out, my where's all the aries

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Speaker 1: out there? Come get your people, Come get your people? Wait,

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Speaker 1: so me and the shack? Is that? What does that

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Speaker 1: mean in the house? Oh? Did y'all dub it the shack?

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Speaker 1: Or is that like a is that a Philly thing? No,

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Speaker 1: that's just a new thing. Sho. She was shocking up.

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Speaker 1: That was he was married? Okay, y'all, mama'sn't know y'all

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Speaker 1: was in the and being nasty. All right, But I

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Speaker 1: guess it looks like we have a winner then, based

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Speaker 1: off of the five questions that we asked, oh, true

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Speaker 1: to one. Hearing her on the phone phone every day

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Speaker 1: every day, I think, all right, text phone, I guess

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Speaker 1: we've found a way to do it. Y'all got that

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Speaker 1: couple one around applause, So check this out. We got

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a surprise. There really is no winner,

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Speaker 1: no loser. The winner and the losers all get drinks

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Speaker 1: on me. So listen for the rest of the night.

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Speaker 1: I got y'all for everybody else, hold that thought. We

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Speaker 1: have so much more to say, but not before we

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Speaker 1: get into these ads. Will be right back, y'all, Reilly,

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Speaker 1: y'all enjoy the game. That's one of my favorite parts

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Speaker 1: of the show because I'm like, you know, it's so

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Speaker 1: interesting to see if couples are in sync what they're

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Speaker 1: thinking about. It's always so funny. So there's a reason

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Speaker 1: why we played this game, guys. And part of the

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Speaker 1: reason why we played this game is to exercise something

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Speaker 1: about relationships. Right, most couples that we've meant before, who

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Speaker 1: asked this questions and listen to letters or whatever, they

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Speaker 1: always start the question by saying something like, my partner

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Speaker 1: says this or likes this, and other people feel so

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Speaker 1: you end up tailor making your relationship with other people's expectations.

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Speaker 1: And what we're trying to show people is that it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter what everybody else feels. If you two are

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Speaker 1: in agreement, that's all that matters. We both put ourselves

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Speaker 1: in the front seat, but the first couple will put

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Speaker 1: their moms in the front seat. And if everybody is happy,

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Speaker 1: why are we arguing about who should be in the

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Speaker 1: front seat in their an agreement? So the game is

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Speaker 1: really just to get you guys are both to understand.

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Speaker 1: It's how you communicate is most important, not what the

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Speaker 1: final solution is. You know, I love that. So who

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Speaker 1: was written into listener letters before anybody in the audience.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to stay one letter it was you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be embarrassed, but you have Okay, did

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Speaker 1: we ever pick your letter? We have say which one

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Speaker 1: it was? How about this season? Who's been listening to

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Speaker 1: the season so far? Do we have a favorite episode yet?

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Speaker 1: Which one? All the thank y'all discipline? Okay? A lot

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Speaker 1: of people good one at Selling Granny's House that came

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Speaker 1: on this week. A lot of people in New York

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Speaker 1: like selling Granny's House. I know who got to listen

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Speaker 1: so far, but so listen. We actually decided that we

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Speaker 1: wanted to do a lot more crowd interaction. So we're

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Speaker 1: gonna let you guys ask me questions yes live, so

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Speaker 1: that we can add answer them live. Because we don't

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Speaker 1: want you guys to think that we just sit up

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Speaker 1: here and scripted everything. This is about an honor, an

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Speaker 1: open space. That's why it's called dead ass. So now

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Speaker 1: is your opportunity if you have a question, raise your

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Speaker 1: hand with trouble all right, and they're gonna be out

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Speaker 1: in the crowd. His hand was up here. I see

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Speaker 1: that soon. Did you get the mic? Say your name

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Speaker 1: a Ques? So this is like live listener letters, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and we will do our best to give a Wesley.

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Speaker 1: Give us your name Wesley, Wesley next Westley. We just

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Speaker 1: wanted to know that he was not a part of

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Speaker 1: the game. He just wants to make sure she did

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Speaker 1: not submit him. But do you guys ever have a time?

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Speaker 1: Y'all like at each other through y'all don't want to

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Speaker 1: be talking or anything. I told you we don't even

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Speaker 1: phone came out on the stage. She didn't even want

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Speaker 1: to let me jump over the couch. But now you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean we definitely, I mean what couple doesn't. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like if we honestly didn't have those moments,

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Speaker 1: then somebody was not being honest about how they feel. Right,

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Speaker 1: There's not going to be moments where you agree on everything.

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Speaker 1: We don't. But I feel like Deval and I first

402
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: and foremost, this is something like best friendship. We gotta

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Speaker 1: here like we're best friends. And I feel like if

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Speaker 1: I cannot be completely honest with him about the way

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Speaker 1: I feel about just anything, then what's the point. I

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Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people nowadays walk around with

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Speaker 1: the facade of who they are, what they expect, um,

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00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: you know, what they want, and that just makes the

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00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: things so much more difficult because there's layers that you

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Speaker 1: didn't have to unpack. And if you're not being completely

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Speaker 1: honest with yourself first and foremost, how can you even

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Speaker 1: be honest with a spouse or a significant other. So

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Speaker 1: I like the deval gives me a same space to

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Speaker 1: feel like I can't express myself because I think at

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Speaker 1: times we don't necessarily feel like we can't express ourselves

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Speaker 1: to our significant other for a plus or reasons. Devil

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Speaker 1: and I actually want to let you guys in on

418
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: a little secret that you're hearing here at the show. First,

419
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: I wasn't even think about that because my mind is

420
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: so far from that. Um, Dakota is the baby of

421
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: the family, y'all. Sorry to disupport you, but um, but

422
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: we're actually writing a book, actually wrote a book, yes, yeah,

423
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: published in the country, yes, so that we can look

424
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: forward to at the top of the new year. Um.

425
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: And in that book, we really try to just dive

426
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: into how we as divalin cadenas individuals and how our upbringings,

427
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: our families, our parents, everything that kind of molded us

428
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,239
Speaker 1: into being who we were as individuals than impacted us

429
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: together in our relationship. Um So I say that to say,

430
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 1: in those moments where we're at each other's throats, there's

431
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: so many things to consider and we have to unpack.

432
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: It's like, why is about in this moment acting this way?

433
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: It can be something from his childhood that has been

434
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: embedded in him or something that he had to deal

435
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: with as a trauma that I may not know about

436
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: that we then have to kind of go deeper tone

437
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: and pack. So we always just try to keep it

438
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: open line of communication with each other and if you know,

439
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: like we said, Dad As podcasts our form of therapy

440
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: you We literally talked through a lot of things with

441
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: y'all and it's just an open forum where we feel

442
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 1: comfortable with sharing. Because the biggest part about Dead as

443
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: Podcast is not to preach that we know everything. It's

444
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: not to give you guys a handbook. We didn't want

445
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: to have it how to or these are the pillars

446
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: of how you can have the perfect marriage because that

447
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: does not exist. But we feel like if you can

448
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: at least relate. And sometimes it's not even a man

449
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: and woman thing like oh, you know the husbands are

450
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: the males in the relationship relate to devol or the

451
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: females and the women relate to me. It's a person

452
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: to person thing. You know, some women be like, yo,

453
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: I feel condin in that moment, or if some women's

454
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: men say I feeled about in that moment. We want

455
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: to be able to just have people feel like, you

456
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: know what, I can relate to this, This happening within

457
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: my relationship is not an anomaly. This is something that

458
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: people go through. And we can't tell you how many

459
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: people will roll in. Probably some of you have wroten

460
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: to us, said d MS emails about how we have

461
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: helped to impact positively their relationship. We've helped to save

462
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: their marriage, We've helped to give them a perspective to

463
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: think about that the event, had more comfortable conversing with

464
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: their spouse about So just being able to create a

465
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: space like that four year spouse a very significant other,

466
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: I think it's probably the utmost important thing. And just

467
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: being respectful in those interactions. Yeah, have the question how

468
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: long have you all been together nine years, so but

469
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: he did not have been together twenty years, um the

470
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: first five years I'll say the first five years of

471
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: my marriage, which would ultimately the first thirteen years of

472
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: our relationship, and we did not know how to communicate

473
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: in each other. And the reason why I say that

474
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: is because I feel like too often people give up

475
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 1: when their relationship when it's early, you know, it's it's

476
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: a year, when two years and three years in and

477
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: they're like, I've given this person so much time and

478
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: they still don't give me. I give up, But I'm

479
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: here to tell you leave with thirteen years in when

480
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: it clipped to me how to start being a better

481
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: husband and then expressing to her what I needed for

482
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: her to be a better life. So I say that

483
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: to that. You know, look at your significant other and said, hey,

484
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: we've been together, for example, nine years and we still

485
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: argue this ain't again because it's just part of it.

486
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: You know, life is long. You know, hopefully everybody he

487
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: lives to be seventy nine years old. If you think

488
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: about that nine years, it's only ten percent of your life.

489
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: You know, will you judge your partner based on what

490
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: they do in ten percent of their life. That's unfair

491
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: because we don't judge our parents our friends like that,

492
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: so we shouldn't judge out saf you know it's question

493
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: number two. Hope that helped you out. We got a

494
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: question of me ask in the hand our real fast.

495
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: M's like, what's up? Mean? You never get your younger

496
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: your relationship, that your friend and your environment and take

497
00:33:50,120 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: your relationship younger, your friends, people, young relationship. Oh yeah,

498
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: we've definitely been there. I remember toos mom the book,

499
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: y'all are gonna learn a lot about our parents and

500
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: realize how family the fucking people's relationship serious. And when

501
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: y'all read the book, you're gonna say damn because being

502
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: momir was how almost it is. I was almost out.

503
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 1: I was like, get your mom's shout out to me.

504
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: They have an amazing relationship now. But let me tell

505
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: y'all it was not. It was always like that at all, um,

506
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: But I remember to that was mom one time. I

507
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 1: always like, I fell asleep upstairs in his sister's room

508
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: right at cramps. Wasn't feeling well and she was working

509
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 1: late and everything. So I felt asleep in her sister's room,

510
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: not feeling well, and came upstairs and he had I

511
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: think you had practice or something. You're like really really tired.

512
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 1: So we kind of fell asleep, kind of cross way

513
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: on the bed, right, very uninten you know, I was

514
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 1: in the right, very unattap and we were already fucking

515
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: so it didn't even matter this like whatever, you know,

516
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: it was. Yeah, it was kind of like a cross

517
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: wait thing, like yeah, we weren't even like you know.

518
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: And I remember her coming and looking in the room

519
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: and she saw us, and then she went back downstairs.

520
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: And then uh so that went downstairs, and shortly I

521
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: think he's like, my mom's want to talk to us.

522
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay about what about? What? Right?

523
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: So we go downstairs and we're in the kitchen and

524
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: she's sitting there and she likes pepsi, right, so she

525
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: has a cannot pepsi and she has a cup of

526
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: ice and she did we sit down? I was like, yes, Ma,

527
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: Like wait, seriously, wanna talk about She pops open the

528
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: canda soda mad dramatic. She's been quiet quiet. It was

529
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: on some real Godfather type ship. So she pops over

530
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 1: in the Canda solda and she pours it and she's

531
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 1: looking at the team look at the fids go down

532
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at that and the understand and she

533
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 1: pourth a little bit more that she puts a straw

534
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: in thew she's stirring it, and then she looks up

535
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: at us and she says, so did I miss the wedding?

536
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, what women married? What's the problem?

537
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: Super combative, right, absolutely, So, to keep the long story short,

538
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: she pretty much was just saying that she was disappointed

539
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: in the fact that we were in the bed lame

540
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: together and being a poor example to his sister who

541
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 1: was also in the house, and she's ten years younger

542
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: than the vo, and you know, we had that whole

543
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: spield evident. You know, she pretty much in that conversation

544
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 1: encouraged us to be individuals. We needed to continue to

545
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: focus on each other, yes, but spend a little bit

546
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 1: more time focusing on ourselves because we didn't know who

547
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: we were. One thing about Val and I him being

548
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: I guess the areas and BE being the Sagittarius both firesides.

549
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: We feel like we know what we know, and we

550
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: know it all and we aren't trying to hear what

551
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 1: nobody else had to say. So when it came down

552
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: to other people. Listen, I guess they're input in our

553
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 1: relationship or their two cents. We really took it with

554
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: a great assault and kept it pushing. We knew I

555
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: didn't even take I didn't need to ship it from

556
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: the time I was eighteen. No, I'm gonna be honest.

557
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 1: From the time I was eighteen, I knew exactly what

558
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: I'm wanted from my life. Everything you see happening for

559
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: us now I had. I knew from the time I

560
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: was young. I remember as early as nineteen eighty nine,

561
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,320
Speaker 1: I was watching Boys in the Hood. I wasn't supposed to.

562
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: I was five years old. I was watching the dough Boys. Say, Yo,

563
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: you want to see that body. I was watching the

564
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: whole movie, and I said, damn, Cuba are gonna drink.

565
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: He was throwing punches in the thing, and I was like, man,

566
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,800
Speaker 1: I want to match, Like, that's what I wanna do.

567
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: I watched Bad Boys. A couple of years later, I

568
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: watched Blue Smith run through the street with his shot

569
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: over it, and that's what I knew I wanted to do.

570
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: But outside of just knowing that, I always knew I

571
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: wanted to be honest. Men. I just knew it. And

572
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: the reason why I say that is because if you

573
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: have a vision for yourself of what you want to be,

574
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,959
Speaker 1: don't let no money talk you out of here. Just don't.

575
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: They can't see your vision. If it was their vision,

576
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 1: God would have given into them. God gave it to you.

577
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 1: So since it's mine and I got something I want.

578
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: And at the time, the first time we went on

579
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: the date, the kid was like, what you wanna do?

580
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: Martin was on TV, as y'all can tell, I love Martin.

581
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: I said, don't want to do that. I wanna have

582
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: my own sitcom. She said to me, so how are

583
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 1: we gonna do with it? That's the first day. But

584
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 1: on the day the very first time, and that was

585
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: the first time I told people I wanted to be

586
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: on TV, and nobody laughed at Like nobody was laughing.

587
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 1: She was dead serious about how I was gonna do it.

588
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: So I gave her my plan and she was like,

589
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: all right, I know that's that's what's up. But I

590
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: knew that her being there was part of the plan.

591
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: And guess what, y'all, my baby is a working actor. Okay,

592
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 1: books from project to project to project. I cannot wait

593
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: for y'all to see the catalogue of stuff that he's

594
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: been working on. It's gonna come out the rest of

595
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 1: this year and the top of next year. So I'm

596
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: excited since keep that tunnel vision. But whoever you're with,

597
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 1: I know it's particularly hard now in social media agent.

598
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: I think the advantage to Down and I had was

599
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: an eighteen and nineteen years old. We didn't have a

600
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: lot of that influence, at least the digital influence. But

601
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 1: we just knew from early on that this is where

602
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: it was. And the decision that we made or whenever

603
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: we talked about internally, was what was gonna happen anyway

604
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: and everybody else? What does that have to deal with it?

605
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: Who believes in God? Everybody right? Where does God exist?

606
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: Where does God exist? Inside? Right? God is in you right?

607
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 1: So when you're seeking answers for what's going on with you,

608
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 1: where should you love it? Inside right? This is what

609
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: God exists. My wife's God is here. If I'm seeking

610
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: answers for how to deal with my wife, I can't

611
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: look here. I need to look to my God who

612
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: look at her God and say, I'm gonna figure that out.

613
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 1: And that's just how I handle everything. I'm going against

614
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 1: my parents. I'm going against her parents, I'm going against friends.

615
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: I've done everything, she's done the same thing, and we're

616
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: still here twenty years deep. So and I love it here.

617
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: I love I'm not loving him all right, before you

618
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 1: keep going, let's stop for a quick second. We're gonna

619
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,800
Speaker 1: go pay some bills. We're gonna be right back. So

620
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: hold that thought. Another question, more questions. Yes, where you

621
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 1: at trouble. I've seen some of the bat too, like

622
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: you had one in the Bat Trouble triple getting her

623
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: exercise in here. Okay, listen. Yes, I think it's adorable

624
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: that you guys continuously say that your best friend. Um,

625
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: but did that level of companionship was that authentic you

626
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: or did you have to? So? I think she said

627
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: we have continue to work on that best friend stuff.

628
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: I feel like Dvalin had a very unusual spark early on.

629
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: So we we we met in elementary school actually, and

630
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: I was eyeing him to like the second third grade,

631
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 1: and then I gets third grade. UM ended up seeing him,

632
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: went to rival high schools. There was always something about him.

633
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: I think I could just kind of feel his energy.

634
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: I could feel the charisma. I was always attracted to

635
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 1: that with him. UM, and I feel like from jump

636
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 1: we were really really good friends, and I think that's

637
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: what saved us a lot of the times when it

638
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: came to those hard moments. So when Wesley asked about bickering,

639
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: going back and forth, having those really tough times, the

640
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 1: thing that saved us was the fact that we're freaking

641
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: best friends. Like, we choose to be here. We wake

642
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: up every single day choosing to be here to work

643
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: at this and it may be slightly unhealthy, but I

644
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: feel like we have a bit of a codependency on

645
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 1: each other. I mean, to this day, he was filming

646
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: on campus. He's at Tee Tyler Perry Studios and he's filming.

647
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm at home with the kids and he's gone for

648
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: a week and I'm literally counting down the days. So

649
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: he gets at home, blew up. My body doesn't respond

650
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,919
Speaker 1: well even when he's not here. UM. So that's something

651
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: that I think that we continue to work on though. Um.

652
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 1: We have moments where we're you know, we're fighting. We

653
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: have moments where we're not necessarily in love with each

654
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 1: other in the moment, because of course relationships have their

655
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows, but I said, Ultimately, the thing that

656
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 1: does save us is that friendship and that genuine respect

657
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: and love that we have for each other. Like that's

658
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: never gonna go anywhere. I don't think that's ever going anywhere.

659
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: To me, is this simple? This is what I learned.

660
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 1: Like we were eighteen nineteen. You're experiencing new things in

661
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: life because you go young, right, So you're in college together,

662
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: you're going trips for the first time, you drive down

663
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 1: to Virginia the first time. All of that stuff heightens

664
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: the connection. But as you get older and you get

665
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 1: married and you have kids, you lose sight of your friend. Right.

666
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: Everything I do now is focused on me and a

667
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 1: father and a provider, and I make a deliberate decision

668
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: every day to be like yo yo yo yo yoa

669
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 1: that's you. I'm your I'm your husband, you my wife

670
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: than I am to write and and as a man,

671
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: sometimes we don't want to have to say that to

672
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: our women, right because we feel like we nagging. I

673
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 1: want my woman to just be present when I needed.

674
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to say it. In the

675
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: first five years of my marriage, I never wanted to

676
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 1: say it because I felt like it wasn't masculine. I

677
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: felt like I was being soft if I tell my

678
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 1: wife like I need my woman now, No, no, I

679
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: want my woman, which means put the kids to bathe

680
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: my hate thirty. Go, put on some shorts, pop some popcorn,

681
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: come out here and watch this movie. Let's just hug

682
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: and cuddle and talking. Let me tell you what my

683
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: dreams are for the next five years. I need my

684
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: friend like that, you know what I'm saying. And a

685
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: lot of times that leads to dope intimacy. You know

686
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like we were talking about our dreams,

687
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: we get excited about it, like real talk. We had

688
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: probably one of the best sex sessions we had last

689
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: night in a long time, because he's still talking about it. Yeah,

690
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: it was you was doing you was doing some things

691
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 1: you do that. It might have been the Flora lags

692
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: ponytail last night. I don't know what. Let's you drop

693
00:43:52,239 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: all the way down to the Okay, baby, we really exciting.

694
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: Round two? Thank you? Now? Is this tight? Isn't secure?

695
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: But I've noticed with us, as we conquered dreams and

696
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: goals together, it brings us closer. And there's nothing like

697
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: like seeing something that seems so unattainable and have an

698
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: apartment and being like, Yo, let's go get that, and

699
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 1: then you actually get that, like nobody can take that

700
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: from you. Like, and that's what's so dope about marriage.

701
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: Like I hear so many people complain about marriages marriages hard.

702
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: Marriage is not hard. It's not hard. All you need

703
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: in the marriage is to people to work towards serving

704
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 1: each other. I said, if one person is looking to

705
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 1: serve and the other person isn't, that is hard. But

706
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: if two people looking to serve, forget it. And I

707
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: think I mean ex sites of something about dreams and

708
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: goals and stuff. It's like, we don't just talk about

709
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 1: dreams for like the next five, ten and twenty years,

710
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: Like we have dreams and goals for the day. How

711
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: are we going to get through this day? We have

712
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: more things when we wait up, can we look at

713
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: each other and we're like, here's the laundry list of

714
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 1: things that have to get done for work, for personal,

715
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: for kids independently, And when we tackle that day head on,

716
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: and then we recap at the end of the thing,

717
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: and then we plan for the week, and then you

718
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: plan for the month. When you have somebody just my

719
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 1: comrade over here, we just this. It's us against everything

720
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: and everybody, even the kids. So out at the kids

721
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: do sometimes you really want to do this. It's two

722
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: of us. Trying means trying knighted, because which kid is

723
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 1: gonna try us? The most cases, guys don't give about nothing.

724
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: Cash straight told me. First of all, he looked just

725
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 1: like Devance and you can see why he acts that way, right, Cas,

726
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: me and Chasm, I'm a fist fight, and I'm not

727
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: talking about I'm talking about tomorrow, guys. Y'all under story

728
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: about when I threw the iPad and boom, Guys. I

729
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,919
Speaker 1: was looking at the iPad one day it. I said, Cash,

730
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 1: didn't I tell you something at the iPad? He said yes.

731
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 1: I said, so you're gonna keep looking at the iPad? Yes,

732
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: so you're not gonna listen to me. No, he didn't

733
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: blink or nothing. So I tried to threaten him and

734
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: I snatched the iPad right, and he just did like this.

735
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 1: I felt like I was losing, so you tough. You

736
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: tough follow me walked out to the balcony. I said,

737
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: he see the iPad right, Sure, he's looking at me

738
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 1: like I don't care. Once he heard Google. I was like, yes,

739
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 1: I said, I stopped trying to take your ass, and

740
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: something came looking at me. I was like, almost lost, baby,

741
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. Guy's be

742
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: giving us a hard tyro on Jackson the top of

743
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 1: the steps, like, oh you don't want to did that work?

744
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: Cayl will be listening. And then he had a sweet

745
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: wave coming around a week later and be like daddy,

746
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 1: that can I get any I think? And who ordered

747
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 1: him a new iPad? No? Yes, you need softy. It's

748
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: because he looked just like you asked. That's there's more

749
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: questions out there. Where are you at trouble? We have

750
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: some damn friend. Okay, Mike work shall that's what we

751
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: wanted him. I have a question I want to know, then,

752
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 1: did you pay any type of issues when he stowed

753
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: a performance like sexual X exists? Look like I was

754
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 1: waiting for somebody to ask that question. Question. Mike was

755
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: clear as day. Do you know what's funny? I was?

756
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: I was like, why is he? Nobody asked that yet? Read?

757
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 1: So what's your name is? Is Jimmy? I'm nice to

758
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: read y'all? So, yes, that is a common thing that

759
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 1: I apparently here is an issue with people when it

760
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 1: comes to having someone in the industry or spouts in

761
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 1: the industry with acting. I think the thing that saves

762
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,719
Speaker 1: me um is two things right, particularly on sins this

763
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 1: shout out to the show. Shout out to Crystal Hazelet,

764
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: who plays for TV. Shout out to Crystal. Crystal is

765
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 1: probably the most respectful, honest, just pure person that I've

766
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: met in a very long time, very very and I

767
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: think that's what helps because she's always looking to me

768
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 1: first to be like, Sis, are you okay with this?

769
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: And we have that relationship without devout involved, and that

770
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 1: started very early on. But even if I didn't have

771
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: that relationship with Crystal, I know what I signed up for, right,

772
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 1: my husband an actor. We know how these these networks

773
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 1: do nowadays. It's not like back in the day where

774
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: you have these sex scenes that are very kind of

775
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,439
Speaker 1: just you know, very modest. They get it in y'all

776
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: watch some of these Power of sex scenes. Okay, when

777
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 1: he auditioned for Power and that he became Omari Stuntoe,

778
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 1: but I was like, you're gonna be doing the sex

779
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: stuns to ship. We'll learn a trick or two in

780
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:23,320
Speaker 1: that choreography and bring that ship back home. Um, but

781
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: I know what I signed up for. And me also

782
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,280
Speaker 1: being in the industry as well, I think it's easier

783
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:31,399
Speaker 1: because we have the understanding of what actually is transpiring.

784
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: It looks really, really real on camera, but it's probably

785
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: the most unsexy thing to film a sex scene. Yo,

786
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: let me tell you. Tell them about the process of

787
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 1: how things go, so they get a little bit more

788
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 1: more in depth. There's an intimacy coordinator, right, so the

789
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 1: intimacy coordinating. They coordinate the intimacy. Were just like, hey,

790
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: so we're gonna go over the scenes. She pulls out

791
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: these little gummies that's supposed to be me and Crystal,

792
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 1: and she plays the scene with the gunnies. Yeah, like

793
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: like there's nothing sexy about seeing that. Right then she goes,

794
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 1: I wish I had something here. She's like here, Um,

795
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: this is going to be the patting. This is not

796
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:23,319
Speaker 1: the pattern. It's actually two and a half inches thick

797
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: of patting that goes in between me and goes in

798
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 1: between her, and it's cut out inside the thighs so

799
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: that when they're filming you can't see it. So there's

800
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 1: never any rubbing or touching, but you have to do

801
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: chemistry scenes before that. So she and I have to

802
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: kiss before we kiss on camera, because if you don't

803
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,720
Speaker 1: kiss someone first before you get on camera, it looks awkward.

804
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,720
Speaker 1: So she's like, are you comfortable, Crystal? Are you comfortable

805
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 1: about are we doing tongue of no tongue. Both of

806
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: us are like, no, tongue cool. So she's like, all right,

807
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: go ahead, I'm gonna film us. Yeall can see it.

808
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: This is Crystal. I'm like, so you gotta do this,

809
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: Like I don you get paid to do this. I

810
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: need this. I got four kids. I'm not trying to

811
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: have this. Is that check clear? Kiss kiss the man please.

812
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: So we're there for like a fold seven minutes and

813
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't take this ship for more. Okay fast, okay,

814
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: can you talk to us so we get this money

815
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: because I talk? She said, Chris, to do what you

816
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: gotta do is part of things. No, no, no, no no.

817
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: So after she got the approval from k that it

818
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 1: was okay, she was just like, all right, let's go

819
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: and do this. But even on top of that, the

820
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 1: scenes it'd be cold as a motherfucking there because you can't.

821
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 1: You can't be in hot because they don't want you're

822
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: sweating on camera, so they dropped the temperature. That's automatically

823
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,919
Speaker 1: not sexy. Right. Then you got the patty right, which

824
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: is automatically not sexy. Then they make you put a

825
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 1: sock one and they're tired at the top because they

826
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: don't want your nuts or your your stuff if you

827
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: come e wet to touch nobody because that's a lawsuit,

828
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: so you get no blood flow to your joint, right,

829
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: So there's nothing sexy about that. Then you've got Tyler

830
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 1: Perry's big ass telling you, I pick a leg up,

831
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: pick a leg up, holding like that? Can I get

832
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 1: a two shot over there? Hold it devout? That's not

833
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 1: sexy enough to vout, holding higher avout. There's nothing sexy

834
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 1: about doing a sex scene. But I'll be getting cussed

835
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 1: out on on Instagram from women who will be like,

836
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: you're sold and I can't believe you get you a

837
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: man of God and you have a wife and you're

838
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 1: doing all these sex scenes and I just ignore it.

839
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: But I do understand for people who don't understand the process,

840
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 1: it looks like I'm just onto great sex with somebody.

841
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 1: But her in Crystal have a great relationship, and y'all

842
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: know she's the codest god for god mother. Excuse me,

843
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: she got a man. Man, I can't say. Hold, it's

844
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,840
Speaker 1: a man is cool. He's an actor as well, so

845
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: he understands the process. So it's no, he's picking up

846
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 1: sticking together, Izzie, I do. It's really not sexy at all.

847
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: And I mean not to sound a way or anything,

848
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: but there's something kind of sexy to me about watching

849
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,839
Speaker 1: him in the sex scene. Anybody remember that blue light

850
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 1: in the shower. That's a good story, right. So after that, right,

851
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 1: I was like Wednesday. That blue eight cecil came on

852
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 1: a Wednesday, right, And it was before Valentine's Day. We

853
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 1: had just moved into our new home. A couple of

854
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: days before that. I moved across country from California with

855
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 1: the boys to meet me because he was still filming,

856
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 1: and this is when the pandemic was still happening, so

857
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 1: they would locked down for about three weeks filming. So

858
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,359
Speaker 1: I'm home and I'm just like, damn, my husband's not here.

859
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: Is the new house I want to celebrate he's not here.

860
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: I was expecting him to finish filming on I think

861
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 1: the day after Valentine's Day. So that Wednesday before the

862
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 1: Blue Light Special came on and I'm watching the two

863
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: of them in the shower and I was like, okay,

864
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: all right. So he was just picking them up and

865
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:23,959
Speaker 1: flipping it all sorts of stuff and if you haven't

866
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: seen it, this on YouTube, so put up. So I

867
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:28,239
Speaker 1: was like, okay, So I'm trying to think of a

868
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 1: way to make this new house session that we're about

869
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 1: to have a moment, right, So I go on Amazon

870
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 1: and I bought me a blue light and a lamp

871
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: for our room, and at that's how we had no

872
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: furniture in the room. I got an air bed and

873
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 1: the whole sit you makes this set up. And it's

874
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 1: funny because I have a little Instagram boomerang I made

875
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,479
Speaker 1: with him sitting in the shadow and with this blue

876
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: light around him because he surprised me and came home

877
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: the day before Valentine's Day, so I wasn't even expecting it. Baby.

878
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: Not months later, the color Marley Ellis was born and

879
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 1: Kristo his godmother. Is that kind of weird that it's

880
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: from the Blue Lights sex? I guess it kind of maze.

881
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,759
Speaker 1: We won't tell him that story though, we'll keep that

882
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 1: here safe space, right, no judgment. Yeah, when I was

883
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: a great question, good question. Another question, are right, brother,

884
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 1: because he's do what as what's that Brooklyn's baby? As

885
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: two cults were different people when y'all first moved there together,

886
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 1: what do you think the most important thing was for

887
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: the both culturally different? Yes, like you've being Jamaican in St.

888
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,320
Speaker 1: Vincent and him being American? What was the most important

889
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: thing for you guys understand about the traditions of your

890
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 1: health home? Ah, I mean did you say like that

891
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: was it was no problems? It was problem? No, No,

892
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 1: it wasn't no problem. But you know your problems used

893
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: to say stuff that I used to know. Oh yeah, no,

894
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: um as, I don't know if a lot of people

895
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 1: don't know. There are a lot of West Indian people

896
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia, my island, massive Jamaicans here and in Jamaican's

897
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:51,959
Speaker 1: in the house or my fellow all right, but there's

898
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: always been a little bit of a rivalry between Caribbean Americans,

899
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 1: I mean Caribbeans Americans and also Africans. We actually did

900
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 1: a podcast episode in might was such a culture flash.

901
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: This is a couple of seasons back. So I was

902
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:07,320
Speaker 1: at our house one day and her dad and his

903
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 1: friends were having a conversation about how lazy American blacks

904
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 1: were right, and me, being an eighteen year old American Black,

905
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 1: I don't think they expected me to be as outspoken

906
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 1: and eloquent about my history because I know history because

907
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: my mom made sure a new history. And I just

908
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: explained to them, like, you can't talk about a cultural

909
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: people without understanding their history first. For example, you and

910
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 1: his his idea was we came here and we were

911
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 1: willing to do jobs that you weren't willing to do.

912
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: And I said, that made me true. But if you

913
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: understand convict lea saying and mass incarceration, you would understand

914
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: that American blacks had to put their foot down to

915
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 1: not do jobs because they weren't being compensated. And so

916
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 1: when other people from other cultures and not just coming

917
00:57:58,480 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: to be and people, they did the same thing with

918
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 1: age Americans and Irish Americans. There were so many different

919
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: immigrants than they brought over to America during reconstruction in

920
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: order to take place of slavery. American blacks were like,

921
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm not going to then get back into servitude and

922
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 1: what it's called for. People don't know what's called debt servitude.

923
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: So after reconstruction, they told Black Americans or African amounts

924
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: of time, you're free, pull yourselves up by your boots

925
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 1: traps and make yourself existent America. You're free now. But

926
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 1: then they created a bunch of laws that said that

927
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 1: you couldn't work from state to state if he wasn't

928
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 1: from that state. Most of these southern blacks trying to

929
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 1: go where up northern So since they couldn't go back

930
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 1: up north, they went back to the slave owners and said, listen,

931
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: I'll work, but I want for a fair wage. The

932
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 1: slave owners then said, fine, you'll work for a slave

933
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 1: unfair wage, but you don't have housing. So I'm gonna

934
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: front you the housing. You don't have the holes, the pigs, detractors.

935
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna front you all of that, and then we'll

936
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 1: settle up at the end of the year. At the

937
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: end of the year. Once the those Africans then said okay,

938
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 1: we're all done, I want to conbey it, it was well,

939
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 1: you owe me for housing, food, all the work, and

940
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 1: you remained in debt. And then that debt existed to

941
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 1: your who children and your children's children, and those children

942
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 1: were the people in the sixties you said I'm not

943
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 1: doing this ship anymore. Then Caribbeans and Africans and Asians

944
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: start to migrate oka here and they're saying, well, I'm

945
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 1: willing to do those jobs for small wages. So there

946
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 1: was a clash there. If you don't understand American history,

947
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 1: you start to feel like the other person is your enemy.

948
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 1: So for me, I was like, you're not my enemy.

949
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 1: We have to find a way to work together to

950
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 1: fight against the actual enemy, which is the system that

951
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 1: was created for none of us to survive or exist.

952
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 1: And what I learned through that was that you can

953
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 1: have intelligent conversations with people if you're willing to be

954
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: open and honest in real time. Don't get offended. Don't say, oh,

955
00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: you said something to me that's insensitive. That's one thing

956
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: I'll say. It's only twenty two. People will be so

957
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 1: quick to get offended. How about we just not be

958
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: offended to say, well, why did you feel it was

959
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 1: okay to say that to me? If you can understand

960
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 1: why they felt like it was okay, you can educate

961
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: them on why it's not okay. But if you get

962
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: offended and then trying to throw a label of hate

963
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 1: on someone be getting nowhere. So when you're talking about

964
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 1: different cultures and living with each other. When we got married,

965
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 1: there with certain things in her that in her family

966
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 1: they wanted for the wedding, certain things in my family.

967
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: We got through it by having conversations and her parents

968
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: educated me on things from the Caribbean Coach that I

969
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 1: had no idea because in the Caribbean Coach they don't

970
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: teach Black American history the same way in America. I

971
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: never I did. An American I had never heard at all,

972
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: you see what I'm saying. I mean even done on

973
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: our own history so many of us. But I had

974
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 1: never heard about Marcus Garvey in public school. So we

975
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: don't know about the struggles of Caribbeans and that come

976
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: over to America. So all we think as Americans is

977
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: they're coming to take out you else they think they're

978
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 1: better than the Africans, think they're better than us. We

979
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 1: as a people have to start educating ourselves on world

980
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 1: history so we get better communicate and exists like we

981
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 1: do now. Our families, my mom, her mom, my dad,

982
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: her dad, my brothers and sisters. You would think we

983
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 1: were all just one big collective family because we do

984
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 1: everything together. And then all it all happened through communication

985
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 1: because in the beginning my mom was like and in

986
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: just a little history, my mom was part of the

987
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: first class that was integrated into white schools. That's why

988
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 1: she's so big on teaching me African American history. So

989
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 1: for her to hear that someone said African African Americans

990
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: are lazy, you can imagine how that struck a chord

991
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 1: with her. You see what I'm saying, But conversations get

992
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: through everything. Never be afraid to say how you feel,

993
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: but also have empathy for someone who's ignorant to what

994
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: they don't know. Have empathy, you know what I'm saying,

995
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 1: and just learn how to learn each other said they

996
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 1: up and that low key thinks he's Jamaican too, So

997
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: that helps bottle flat broke flat. But he thinks he's Jamaican, y'all,

998
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 1: he actually is. We're all dual citizenships, citizens us in

999
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 1: the boys looking US and the boys I got all

1000
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 1: of them, um citizenship to Jamaica. So because I said,

1001
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 1: have hit the fans up here, we out. I won't

1002
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 1: be selling coconuts, okay, and brainy here on the corner

1003
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 1: of the beach. Y'all seen the video I did where

1004
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 1: K had forgot the hen be got late and we

1005
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 1: missed a flight. Oh yah. So I started getting a

1006
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: lot of text measures from people like, Yo, I'm glad

1007
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 1: you did. That's pick up your wife? Right? I got

1008
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 1: a d M from guests food you say both boats

1009
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,919
Speaker 1: yes on my line right, I was in a house

1010
01:02:53,000 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 1: like happen like it was the greatest. I'm like, he's

1011
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: the fast man in the world, probably outside of Bob Marley. Um,

1012
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 1: he's probably the most famous Jamaican. I love it. It's

1013
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:19,960
Speaker 1: about Mary shine up something I guess said. But I

1014
01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: love my Jamaican people. I love my Jamaican people, shot

1015
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:27,040
Speaker 1: out to Jamaican mask. We gotta dosaka. All the stuff

1016
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 1: comes from conversation. I think we got talking about down

1017
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 1: front here. Where's the Nora of Donoran? Is the microphone? Yes?

1018
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hey, my name is Brianna. And this is

1019
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 1: more so of a romance business related type question. Um,

1020
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: I've been with my boyfriend for eight years, but at

1021
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 1: your six we started a business together and I just

1022
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 1: recently learned or he expressed to me that the business

1023
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: is overriding the romance UM and so how do you

1024
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:19,200
Speaker 1: guys look that switch on and off or just take

1025
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 1: a falls. He never does, and that's always in business

1026
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 1: bow and that was a big issue for us as

1027
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 1: well too. While I'm grateful for DeVos business acumen and

1028
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:33,080
Speaker 1: what he's been able to do, particularly with just even

1029
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 1: our social media presence, and now he's built that up

1030
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 1: because thank you, thank you, thank you for you to you.

1031
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 1: We're here because of that. So I understood that he

1032
01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: had a vision. But I also too sometimes just missed

1033
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 1: my friend, like I missed my boyfriend, I missed my husband.

1034
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 1: I missed that, and he had no he didn't even

1035
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 1: realize I think in that time that he was not

1036
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 1: UM turning off. So the all switch was very important.

1037
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 1: And the things that I had to do purposely, like

1038
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 1: sometimes just contacting our manager for example and say Heyden

1039
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 1: or a block these days because the devot needs a

1040
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: family day or Devot needs to be tuned out, or

1041
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 1: I would have to say to him like they I'm

1042
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: planning a trip for us to be able to clock out.

1043
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 1: Another issue that we had within the business side of

1044
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 1: things is that our processes are very different and how

1045
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:17,720
Speaker 1: we are able to arrive at the end of a

1046
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: task for to get things done are completely different. And

1047
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 1: he used to get on me about me not doing

1048
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: things the way he would have done it, and I

1049
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 1: would always be like, well, can you let me work

1050
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 1: through my process and get it done this way because

1051
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: that's how I work more efficiently. So that took a

1052
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: lot of conversation too, and a lot of him just

1053
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:35,640
Speaker 1: saying to himself, you know, or saying to me, rather,

1054
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:37,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you do a thing because you're gonna

1055
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:39,919
Speaker 1: be effecial efficient and you're gonna be effective of getting

1056
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 1: it done. But you're just doing differently than me. Um.

1057
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:44,200
Speaker 1: So those are the two biggest issues that I think

1058
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,040
Speaker 1: we had is not knowing when to turn it off

1059
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 1: and when to just be husband and wife, when to

1060
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 1: be partners, when to be friends and went to be

1061
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: business partners. And then also to just learning how our

1062
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,120
Speaker 1: processes were different with getting tasks done. So that was

1063
01:05:57,160 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 1: a big issue for us. Also just not relying on

1064
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 1: the much of its business that has to come first.

1065
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: People find time for what's important to them. So when

1066
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:09,040
Speaker 1: you have a business, and I was so guilty of

1067
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 1: not being president as a husband you know, like my

1068
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:15,760
Speaker 1: biggest thing was I provide you got burging bag, you

1069
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: got this, you got that? What you're gonna work? Know?

1070
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 1: You know how to reckon bage? I want said that,

1071
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 1: what's the baggage you just got? What was the bag

1072
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: you just got? I don't know who was some kind

1073
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 1: of back No, it don't even matter. Thing was my

1074
01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 1: thing was you get so much stuff from me working,

1075
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 1: and then with the time for me to work, you complain.

1076
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 1: But then I had to realize she's not asking for

1077
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 1: all of this stuff. I'm getting her the stuff because

1078
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to prove to everybody else that I'm a

1079
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:49,720
Speaker 1: good husband, when realistically, my wife wants me to prove

1080
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: to her that I'm a good husband by doing the

1081
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 1: things she's required. You see what I'm saying. So I

1082
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 1: learned how to be a service to her and not

1083
01:06:57,120 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 1: be a service to myself for other people. Woman. And

1084
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 1: that comes to you. I said a lot of ego.

1085
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 1: You know, I was in my twenties and you know,

1086
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:07,200
Speaker 1: early thirties, and yeah, I'm let me tell you, man,

1087
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 1: being a man being a woman is difficult. I'm not

1088
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 1: trying to discredit either one, but trying to be self

1089
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:18,800
Speaker 1: made in America and coming from nothing, you always feel

1090
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: this pressure of having to provide for someone, you know

1091
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like there's no man that can walk

1092
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:28,720
Speaker 1: around just broke and feel like I'm a catch because

1093
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 1: I look good, you know what I'm saying. Or I'm

1094
01:07:31,160 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 1: a catch because I can fuck like men can't say that. Men.

1095
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:39,400
Speaker 1: You you only loved conditionally, right, Women only love you

1096
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 1: if you can provide something for them. So there was

1097
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,959
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure. But my issue was I wasn't

1098
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 1: providing her what she needed, and I thought I was

1099
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: supposed to be providing her what I thought everybody else needed.

1100
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 1: But that goes back to what we said in the

1101
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 1: first one. So once I realized that, I realized that

1102
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,160
Speaker 1: I have to make time to always give my wife

1103
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:59,440
Speaker 1: what she needs. And the crazy part about it is

1104
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 1: the more I gave her what she needs, the more

1105
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,439
Speaker 1: she gave me what I need and I was able

1106
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,320
Speaker 1: to go about and get what we needed, you know

1107
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,320
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So it was it just worn't hailing here.

1108
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 1: That's how it is. You take care of me and

1109
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:14,600
Speaker 1: I take care of us. Right, take care of me

1110
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:19,120
Speaker 1: and take care of us. We're running it's nine, but

1111
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:21,320
Speaker 1: I want to do this exercise that I do for

1112
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,840
Speaker 1: myself in the morning from my wife. We do this

1113
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:28,479
Speaker 1: together and to participate for all boys. I asked that

1114
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:38,320
Speaker 1: everybody stand up. That's your knees. Damn. I thought it

1115
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 1: was just me. No judgment. We can no. I was

1116
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 1: relating to them because my listen. I asked it. Everyone

1117
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:51,600
Speaker 1: just close your eyes for a second. All right. I

1118
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:57,799
Speaker 1: want you to think about your wildest dream. Go somewhere

1119
01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: that you never thought you go, making more money than

1120
01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:04,120
Speaker 1: you ever thought you made, meeting the man or the

1121
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 1: woman of your dreams. Have as many keys as you want.

1122
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: And I want you, in this moment to realize that

1123
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 1: if you can see it, God put that vision in you,

1124
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: because it's already happened. All you have to do is claiming.

1125
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 1: I'll be honest. We don't say goodbye in Ellis household.

1126
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 1: We go to Ellis goodbye because we know we're gonna

1127
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:28,679
Speaker 1: see you later, right, But we do as we say

1128
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:30,640
Speaker 1: Elis goodbye. We go three to one, we give you

1129
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,680
Speaker 1: two paths on the chest, and we say peace. All right,

1130
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 1: so we're gonna give you all Ellis goodbye. Before we

1131
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:48,160
Speaker 1: look at that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Look at y'all, So everybody,

1132
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:53,639
Speaker 1: we're gonna do the ellis goodbye on three one two three.

1133
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,559
Speaker 1: Dead As is a production of Hard Media podcast Network

1134
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:05,240
Speaker 1: and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast

1135
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 1: on social media at dead as, the podcasts and never

1136
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:08,479
Speaker 1: miss a Thing.