Speaker 1: So I've talked about this before, but in my work transition,
Speaker 1: I have really had a skeleton crew here and I've
Speaker 1: gone back to being my own assistant. And what does
Speaker 1: that mean. It means like figuring out how to print
Speaker 1: out return labels and box things up and get sorted
Speaker 1: with my podcast equipment and get sorted with what's going
Speaker 1: on in my house and managing home projects and managing
Speaker 1: a team, and being very communicative with my emails and
Speaker 1: with my texts. And I'm very big on throwing like
Speaker 1: robotexting with like okay number one, sort the garage number two?
Speaker 1: Where is this being very clear? Now? I am intense
Speaker 1: and a lot for people that I work with, but
Speaker 1: they always know where I stand and what I want,
Speaker 1: and I get what i want because I'm not scattered
Speaker 1: and I'm very clear, and it will everybody else to task.
Speaker 1: And the weekly updates that I learned years ago when
Speaker 1: I was working at Island Pictures for a guy named
Speaker 1: Mark Berg underneath Chris Blackwell and then Linda Bruckheimer, like
Speaker 1: these processes that I've used for twenty years, that they work,
Speaker 1: like this update that once a week comes that basically
Speaker 1: has like pending and like imminent. Imminent would be like
Speaker 1: dogs need to go to vet today for a tick.
Speaker 1: Thing pending would be like the bag that I have
Speaker 1: at the shoe repair or something at tailoring that needs
Speaker 1: to be written on an update because it lives somewhere
Speaker 1: and it's not just me in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night or on a vacation being like, wait, what happens
Speaker 1: to that bag? Like every box getting checked. And I
Speaker 1: will say, once you do the job of the people
Speaker 1: that work around you or with you, or people that
Speaker 1: are your coworkers, once you do the job, you know
Speaker 1: how competent or other people are. It's the same way
Speaker 1: as like a wife. The husband has to do the
Speaker 1: mob's job. He has to cook, he has to clan,
Speaker 1: he has to get the laundry, get the kids to school,
Speaker 1: get the raincoat to get the permission slips, get the
Speaker 1: sports activity snacks, keep the house in order, keep the
Speaker 1: house tidy, vacuum. There was a movie years ago with
Speaker 1: Michael Keaton Mister Mom about that, and then by the
Speaker 1: end he ends up respecting the mom's job. Well, you
Speaker 1: could be doing your assistant's job, or your coworker's job,
Speaker 1: or someone else's job and realize how hard that job
Speaker 1: is or how incompetent they are, because people move papers
Speaker 1: around the desk and they don't work efficiently and smart.
Speaker 1: And I always say, it's not how hard you work,
Speaker 1: it's how smart you work. You go go to the
Speaker 1: gym and spend four hours sweating and going in circles,
Speaker 1: but if you're not working smart and efficient, you don't
Speaker 1: get the results. And me being on that runway and
Speaker 1: everyone thinking like I work out at the gym every
Speaker 1: single day and I've secretly got a trainer and all
Speaker 1: this shit. I walk and I'm efficient about when I
Speaker 1: walk because it makes my walk go longer. If I
Speaker 1: do work calls on my walk, if I talk to
Speaker 1: my therapist on my walk, if I talk to my
Speaker 1: business manager and go through my finances on my walk,
Speaker 1: like I'm efficient, I'm lean. I get it done and
Speaker 1: the minute I know it has to be done, I
Speaker 1: immediately get it done. Like that's who I am, and
Speaker 1: that's working smarter. I'm not like flailing flapping my wings.
Speaker 1: I wasn't the one who used to talk at work
Speaker 1: all the time. I was the one that had my
Speaker 1: head down, get it done, then go relax and on
Speaker 1: a photo shoot it's always a brand saying it's gonna
Speaker 1: take eight hours. It's always my team saying it's not.
Speaker 1: It's gonna take her three hours and them saying no,
Speaker 1: and her saying yes, we get there. It's three hours.
Speaker 1: I don't fuck around with lunch. I don't fuck around
Speaker 1: with a snack. We get it done. And the crew
Speaker 1: is always so grateful because they get to get the
Speaker 1: fuck out of there. And that is the critical difference
Speaker 1: between me and everybody else. It's called get it done,
Speaker 1: lean and efficient, no foreplay. So I have to say,
Speaker 1: you figure out how your staff is actually working. And again,
Speaker 1: don't cheap out. Don't hire the cheapest person. If you
Speaker 1: have people working for you or with you, make sure
Speaker 1: you're taking care of people. If it's someone who's a babysitter,
Speaker 1: if it's someone who's a nanny, if it's someone who's
Speaker 1: an intern, if it's someone who's a dog walker, if
Speaker 1: it's someone who's a helper, whatever it is, you pay
Speaker 1: them in baked goods, You send them a thank you note,
Speaker 1: You be grateful, and you let people know that they're
Speaker 1: helping you because you're reinforcing positivity and you're also motivating
Speaker 1: them to do the work. But if you do the job,
Speaker 1: you'll not get stolen from people that work with you
Speaker 1: will know. You know where the bodies are buried, you
Speaker 1: know how charges happen, you know what everyone's spending, you
Speaker 1: know how this gets done. And then they'll also know
Speaker 1: that they can't just overcharge you. I've had people pretend
Speaker 1: something take hours. I'm like, yeah, I just did that
Speaker 1: in five minutes. Like that's a scam. I just booked
Speaker 1: the hotel five minutes, just booked the travel on this app.
Speaker 1: That's a scam that it took you all this time.
Speaker 1: It could be people overcharging you for design, people overcharging
Speaker 1: you for travel agent stuff, people overcharging you for landscaping.
Speaker 1: We'll pay. I don't know what it is, but check
Speaker 1: your people, check the people that work around you, with
Speaker 1: you and for you, because if you do the job,
Speaker 1: you're like you're undercover boss, and you will see what
Speaker 1: it takes. And people like to talk a lot about
Speaker 1: getting things done. I say, get it done. The path
Speaker 1: of least resistance and the shortest distance is just a
Speaker 1: straight line between points. This has to get done. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me it can't get done. I know it can
Speaker 1: get done. How are we getting it done. We're solution based. People.
Speaker 1: Cannot tell you how many people try to whine and
Speaker 1: spend more time talking about how something can't get done
Speaker 1: than standing up and just going in and getting it done. Well,
Speaker 1: that's gonna take a while. I have to call the
Speaker 1: this guy. We'll have to look that up. Get it
Speaker 1: done right now, Just get it done. Nike said it best,
Speaker 1: Just do it. You're welcome. I now know what love
Speaker 1: bombing is. I call it the Chia pet of dating.
Speaker 1: Like some people think you're just gonna add water and
Speaker 1: be in a relationship. And these are those people that
Speaker 1: haven't done the work. Might be that they were in
Speaker 1: a long marriage and they're just needy and they're used
Speaker 1: to relationship and it's a disservice to themselves because they
Speaker 1: just want to just add water and there's a relationship.
Speaker 1: And I come in contact with these people where there's
Speaker 1: a familiarity and a language and a way of texting,
Speaker 1: and I don't like that. I like tradition, I like formality.
Speaker 1: I don't like when someone immediately thinks like we're in
Speaker 1: an instant relationship. Because we had one conversation and one
Speaker 1: of the best things that I ever heard from one
Speaker 1: of the dating experts on this podcast was this is
Speaker 1: a stranger. People on both sides of dating get so
Speaker 1: familiar so quick because you get excited. It could be because
Speaker 1: you've had sex, but even before sex, you're so excited.
Speaker 1: You want to meet someone, you think you like someone,
Speaker 1: you think they like you. You're talking in futuristic terms on
Speaker 1: the fairy tale, fictitious first date or first meeting, and
Speaker 1: you think it's all real. I've had people who are
Speaker 1: talking to me about the future and then we text
Speaker 1: like once or twice, and we never speak again. I've
Speaker 1: had people also right after meeting them because we liked
Speaker 1: each other and we had a little flirt and maybe
Speaker 1: I was gaslighting myself into thinking I like them, or
Speaker 1: maybe I want an instant relationship because it makes it
Speaker 1: so much easier, just check the box. And then like
Speaker 1: they're messaging you like pictures of their family or kids,
Speaker 1: or like inside baseball all day, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to get to a familiar point until we're at a
Speaker 1: familiar point. I don't want to meet your kids. I
Speaker 1: don't want to meet your parents. I don't want to
Speaker 1: see you in your pajamas, I don't want to see
Speaker 1: you in your natural habitat until we're in a relationship.
Speaker 1: You cannot rush a process. You meet someone, you get
Speaker 1: to know them, and so if they can't control themselves,
Speaker 1: you have to control yourself. You can never put the
Speaker 1: toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. So once
Speaker 1: you kind of let this person take you for granted,
Speaker 1: think they already have you. Think you're in a familiar state,
Speaker 1: Think you're in a relationship. Think they can like just
Speaker 1: sort of show up when they want, call you when
Speaker 1: they want, like have a booty call. Whatever. No way,
Speaker 1: do not get to the familiarity state before it's been
Speaker 1: earned and proven. For both sides. One is it's creepy
Speaker 1: and weird, and it means someone is emotionally missing a
Speaker 1: chip and hasn't done the work on themselves because they
Speaker 1: just want to do instant relationship or you too, that's
Speaker 1: how like you immediately get into what are we doing tonight?
Speaker 1: What are we doing tomorrow? Like you're like married, Immediately
Speaker 1: the wheels come off. It gets to be a turn off.
Speaker 1: That's the love stage, and it's premature. You can't have
Speaker 1: love until you actually are really in love, and it
Speaker 1: is true love. You cannot pretend you're in love with
Speaker 1: a stranger. There really is no such thing as love
Speaker 1: at first sight. It doesn't exist. There's lust at first sight,
Speaker 1: there's oh my god, I can't believe how I feel
Speaker 1: about this person at first sight. I could eventually see
Speaker 1: myself falling in love with this person, but you have
Speaker 1: no institutional knowledge to make that assessment, and as someone
Speaker 1: who has made such shit relationship choices, do not get
Speaker 1: to that state. We all go there in the beginning,
Speaker 1: like oh my god, you're imagining your kids' names, you're
Speaker 1: living together, you're fantasizing, you're seeing what the cadence is
Speaker 1: going to be like in your life and in your dating.
Speaker 1: It doesn't exist. It's not real, and you're gonna get
Speaker 1: the ick, whether it's in the beginning or after, and
Speaker 1: it's almost embarrassing in front of yourself. You're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe last week I was thinking
Speaker 1: all this, Like do not rush. You never have that
Speaker 1: chance to really build again. And once you give it
Speaker 1: all away, once you sleep with someone in the beginning,
Speaker 1: once you're too familiar in the beginning, once you've showed
Speaker 1: them you in pajamas in the beginning, like all of it.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's not cute. Keep the formality. For a while,
Speaker 1: people were nitpicking on social media about Kim Kardashian and
Speaker 1: law school and like why they're like, she didn't graduate
Speaker 1: from law school because I guess she didn't go to
Speaker 1: law school, but she got a degree and she took
Speaker 1: the bar and she studied, like not everyone goes to
Speaker 1: drivers at either, and not everyone goes to driving school,
Speaker 1: and not everyone goes to sit in the class of
Speaker 1: real state school to get their real estate license either.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know much about it. But
Speaker 1: she's a pretty big multitasker. I think she has a
Speaker 1: show coming out, maybe on Hulu or somewhere. I think
Speaker 1: she's proven herself. I think if she got a law degree,
Speaker 1: she fucking earned it and deserved it, and like she
Speaker 1: deserves the flowers. Okay, if she can practice law, which
Speaker 1: I don't know if she can, I don't know the rules.
Speaker 1: If she can practice law or is actually consay she's
Speaker 1: a lawyer, then she went to law school. In my book,
Speaker 1: Travis and Taylor, I in the beginning wasn't team it.
Speaker 1: I thought it went too fast. I didn't think it
Speaker 1: was totally real. I thought in the beginning, I thought
Speaker 1: it seemed like that she a pet of relationships. I
Speaker 1: thought it was like just I didn't see them together
Speaker 1: in the beginning. But like, if you think about how
Speaker 1: I imagine she grew up and how I imagine he
Speaker 1: grew up, I think their parents are both together. I
Speaker 1: think they seem like they have similar fundamentals, like similar
Speaker 1: family fundamentals, similar family support, and so in retrospect, I
Speaker 1: can be a Monday Morning quarterback to use a topical
Speaker 1: reference or analogy, it seems to work. But like I
Speaker 1: wonder if they're going to go the distance from someone
Speaker 1: pretty knowledgeable on the inside told me that they're going
Speaker 1: the distance, I kind of like it. I think that
Speaker 1: would mean there's hope for everyone. And I think it's
Speaker 1: also like got a little bit of like quarterback and
Speaker 1: captain of the cheerleading squad, and I kind of like that,
Speaker 1: like Americana apple Pie aspect, just a more modern take.
Speaker 1: And I hear they're spending a lot of time in
Speaker 1: Florida together, which, of course I love. Florida is having
Speaker 1: a real glow up right now.