WEBVTT - Just B Rant: Undercover Boss

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<v Speaker 1>So I've talked about this before, but in my work transition,

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<v Speaker 1>I have really had a skeleton crew here and I've

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<v Speaker 1>gone back to being my own assistant. And what does

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<v Speaker 1>that mean. It means like figuring out how to print

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<v Speaker 1>out return labels and box things up and get sorted

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<v Speaker 1>with my podcast equipment and get sorted with what's going

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<v Speaker 1>on in my house and managing home projects and managing

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<v Speaker 1>a team, and being very communicative with my emails and

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<v Speaker 1>with my texts. And I'm very big on throwing like

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<v Speaker 1>robotexting with like okay number one, sort the garage number two?

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<v Speaker 1>Where is this being very clear? Now? I am intense

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<v Speaker 1>and a lot for people that I work with, but

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<v Speaker 1>they always know where I stand and what I want,

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<v Speaker 1>and I get what i want because I'm not scattered

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm very clear, and it will everybody else to task.

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<v Speaker 1>And the weekly updates that I learned years ago when

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<v Speaker 1>I was working at Island Pictures for a guy named

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<v Speaker 1>Mark Berg underneath Chris Blackwell and then Linda Bruckheimer, like

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<v Speaker 1>these processes that I've used for twenty years, that they work,

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<v Speaker 1>like this update that once a week comes that basically

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<v Speaker 1>has like pending and like imminent. Imminent would be like

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<v Speaker 1>dogs need to go to vet today for a tick.

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<v Speaker 1>Thing pending would be like the bag that I have

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<v Speaker 1>at the shoe repair or something at tailoring that needs

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<v Speaker 1>to be written on an update because it lives somewhere

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not just me in the middle of the

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<v Speaker 1>night or on a vacation being like, wait, what happens

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<v Speaker 1>to that bag? Like every box getting checked. And I

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<v Speaker 1>will say, once you do the job of the people

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<v Speaker 1>that work around you or with you, or people that

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<v Speaker 1>are your coworkers, once you do the job, you know

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<v Speaker 1>how competent or other people are. It's the same way

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<v Speaker 1>as like a wife. The husband has to do the

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<v Speaker 1>mob's job. He has to cook, he has to clan,

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<v Speaker 1>he has to get the laundry, get the kids to school,

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<v Speaker 1>get the raincoat to get the permission slips, get the

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<v Speaker 1>sports activity snacks, keep the house in order, keep the

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<v Speaker 1>house tidy, vacuum. There was a movie years ago with

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Keaton Mister Mom about that, and then by the

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<v Speaker 1>end he ends up respecting the mom's job. Well, you

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<v Speaker 1>could be doing your assistant's job, or your coworker's job,

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<v Speaker 1>or someone else's job and realize how hard that job

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<v Speaker 1>is or how incompetent they are, because people move papers

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<v Speaker 1>around the desk and they don't work efficiently and smart.

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<v Speaker 1>And I always say, it's not how hard you work,

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<v Speaker 1>it's how smart you work. You go go to the

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<v Speaker 1>gym and spend four hours sweating and going in circles,

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<v Speaker 1>but if you're not working smart and efficient, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>get the results. And me being on that runway and

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<v Speaker 1>everyone thinking like I work out at the gym every

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<v Speaker 1>single day and I've secretly got a trainer and all

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<v Speaker 1>this shit. I walk and I'm efficient about when I

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<v Speaker 1>walk because it makes my walk go longer. If I

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<v Speaker 1>do work calls on my walk, if I talk to

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<v Speaker 1>my therapist on my walk, if I talk to my

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<v Speaker 1>business manager and go through my finances on my walk,

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm efficient, I'm lean. I get it done and

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<v Speaker 1>the minute I know it has to be done, I

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<v Speaker 1>immediately get it done. Like that's who I am, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's working smarter. I'm not like flailing flapping my wings.

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't the one who used to talk at work

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. I was the one that had my

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<v Speaker 1>head down, get it done, then go relax and on

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<v Speaker 1>a photo shoot it's always a brand saying it's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>take eight hours. It's always my team saying it's not.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna take her three hours and them saying no,

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<v Speaker 1>and her saying yes, we get there. It's three hours.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't fuck around with lunch. I don't fuck around

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<v Speaker 1>with a snack. We get it done. And the crew

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<v Speaker 1>is always so grateful because they get to get the

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<v Speaker 1>fuck out of there. And that is the critical difference

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<v Speaker 1>between me and everybody else. It's called get it done,

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<v Speaker 1>lean and efficient, no foreplay. So I have to say,

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<v Speaker 1>you figure out how your staff is actually working. And again,

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<v Speaker 1>don't cheap out. Don't hire the cheapest person. If you

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<v Speaker 1>have people working for you or with you, make sure

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<v Speaker 1>you're taking care of people. If it's someone who's a babysitter,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's someone who's a nanny, if it's someone who's

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<v Speaker 1>an intern, if it's someone who's a dog walker, if

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<v Speaker 1>it's someone who's a helper, whatever it is, you pay

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<v Speaker 1>them in baked goods, You send them a thank you note,

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<v Speaker 1>You be grateful, and you let people know that they're

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<v Speaker 1>helping you because you're reinforcing positivity and you're also motivating

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<v Speaker 1>them to do the work. But if you do the job,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll not get stolen from people that work with you

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<v Speaker 1>will know. You know where the bodies are buried, you

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<v Speaker 1>know how charges happen, you know what everyone's spending, you

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<v Speaker 1>know how this gets done. And then they'll also know

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<v Speaker 1>that they can't just overcharge you. I've had people pretend

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<v Speaker 1>something take hours. I'm like, yeah, I just did that

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<v Speaker 1>in five minutes. Like that's a scam. I just booked

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<v Speaker 1>the hotel five minutes, just booked the travel on this app.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a scam that it took you all this time.

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<v Speaker 1>It could be people overcharging you for design, people overcharging

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<v Speaker 1>you for travel agent stuff, people overcharging you for landscaping.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll pay. I don't know what it is, but check

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<v Speaker 1>your people, check the people that work around you, with

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<v Speaker 1>you and for you, because if you do the job,

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<v Speaker 1>you're like you're undercover boss, and you will see what

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<v Speaker 1>it takes. And people like to talk a lot about

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<v Speaker 1>getting things done. I say, get it done. The path

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<v Speaker 1>of least resistance and the shortest distance is just a

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<v Speaker 1>straight line between points. This has to get done. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>tell me it can't get done. I know it can

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<v Speaker 1>get done. How are we getting it done. We're solution based. People.

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<v Speaker 1>Cannot tell you how many people try to whine and

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<v Speaker 1>spend more time talking about how something can't get done

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<v Speaker 1>than standing up and just going in and getting it done. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>that's gonna take a while. I have to call the

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<v Speaker 1>this guy. We'll have to look that up. Get it

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<v Speaker 1>done right now, Just get it done. Nike said it best,

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<v Speaker 1>Just do it. You're welcome. I now know what love

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<v Speaker 1>bombing is. I call it the Chia pet of dating.

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<v Speaker 1>Like some people think you're just gonna add water and

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<v Speaker 1>be in a relationship. And these are those people that

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<v Speaker 1>haven't done the work. Might be that they were in

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<v Speaker 1>a long marriage and they're just needy and they're used

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<v Speaker 1>to relationship and it's a disservice to themselves because they

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<v Speaker 1>just want to just add water and there's a relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>And I come in contact with these people where there's

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<v Speaker 1>a familiarity and a language and a way of texting,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't like that. I like tradition, I like formality.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like when someone immediately thinks like we're in

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<v Speaker 1>an instant relationship. Because we had one conversation and one

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<v Speaker 1>of the best things that I ever heard from one

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<v Speaker 1>of the dating experts on this podcast was this is

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<v Speaker 1>a stranger. People on both sides of dating get so

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<v Speaker 1>familiar so quick because you get excited. It could be because

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<v Speaker 1>you've had sex, but even before sex, you're so excited.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to meet someone, you think you like someone,

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<v Speaker 1>you think they like you. You're talking in futuristic terms on

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<v Speaker 1>the fairy tale, fictitious first date or first meeting, and

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<v Speaker 1>you think it's all real. I've had people who are

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<v Speaker 1>talking to me about the future and then we text

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<v Speaker 1>like once or twice, and we never speak again. I've

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<v Speaker 1>had people also right after meeting them because we liked

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<v Speaker 1>each other and we had a little flirt and maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I was gaslighting myself into thinking I like them, or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I want an instant relationship because it makes it

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<v Speaker 1>so much easier, just check the box. And then like

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<v Speaker 1>they're messaging you like pictures of their family or kids,

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<v Speaker 1>or like inside baseball all day, Like I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to get to a familiar point until we're at a

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<v Speaker 1>familiar point. I don't want to meet your kids. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to meet your parents. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>see you in your pajamas, I don't want to see

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<v Speaker 1>you in your natural habitat until we're in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>You cannot rush a process. You meet someone, you get

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<v Speaker 1>to know them, and so if they can't control themselves,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to control yourself. You can never put the

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<v Speaker 1>toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. So once

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of let this person take you for granted,

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<v Speaker 1>think they already have you. Think you're in a familiar state,

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<v Speaker 1>Think you're in a relationship. Think they can like just

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<v Speaker 1>sort of show up when they want, call you when

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<v Speaker 1>they want, like have a booty call. Whatever. No way,

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<v Speaker 1>do not get to the familiarity state before it's been

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<v Speaker 1>earned and proven. For both sides. One is it's creepy

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<v Speaker 1>and weird, and it means someone is emotionally missing a

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<v Speaker 1>chip and hasn't done the work on themselves because they

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<v Speaker 1>just want to do instant relationship or you too, that's

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<v Speaker 1>how like you immediately get into what are we doing tonight?

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<v Speaker 1>What are we doing tomorrow? Like you're like married, Immediately

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<v Speaker 1>the wheels come off. It gets to be a turn off.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the love stage, and it's premature. You can't have

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<v Speaker 1>love until you actually are really in love, and it

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<v Speaker 1>is true love. You cannot pretend you're in love with

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<v Speaker 1>a stranger. There really is no such thing as love

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<v Speaker 1>at first sight. It doesn't exist. There's lust at first sight,

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<v Speaker 1>there's oh my god, I can't believe how I feel

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<v Speaker 1>about this person at first sight. I could eventually see

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<v Speaker 1>myself falling in love with this person, but you have

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<v Speaker 1>no institutional knowledge to make that assessment, and as someone

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<v Speaker 1>who has made such shit relationship choices, do not get

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<v Speaker 1>to that state. We all go there in the beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>like oh my god, you're imagining your kids' names, you're

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<v Speaker 1>living together, you're fantasizing, you're seeing what the cadence is

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<v Speaker 1>going to be like in your life and in your dating.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't exist. It's not real, and you're gonna get

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<v Speaker 1>the ick, whether it's in the beginning or after, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's almost embarrassing in front of yourself. You're like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, I can't believe last week I was thinking

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<v Speaker 1>all this, Like do not rush. You never have that

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<v Speaker 1>chance to really build again. And once you give it

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<v Speaker 1>all away, once you sleep with someone in the beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>once you're too familiar in the beginning, once you've showed

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<v Speaker 1>them you in pajamas in the beginning, like all of it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, it's not cute. Keep the formality. For a while,

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<v Speaker 1>people were nitpicking on social media about Kim Kardashian and

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<v Speaker 1>law school and like why they're like, she didn't graduate

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<v Speaker 1>from law school because I guess she didn't go to

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<v Speaker 1>law school, but she got a degree and she took

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<v Speaker 1>the bar and she studied, like not everyone goes to

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<v Speaker 1>drivers at either, and not everyone goes to driving school,

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<v Speaker 1>and not everyone goes to sit in the class of

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<v Speaker 1>real state school to get their real estate license either.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't know much about it. But

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<v Speaker 1>she's a pretty big multitasker. I think she has a

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<v Speaker 1>show coming out, maybe on Hulu or somewhere. I think

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<v Speaker 1>she's proven herself. I think if she got a law degree,

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<v Speaker 1>she fucking earned it and deserved it, and like she

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<v Speaker 1>deserves the flowers. Okay, if she can practice law, which

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if she can, I don't know the rules.

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<v Speaker 1>If she can practice law or is actually consay she's

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<v Speaker 1>a lawyer, then she went to law school. In my book,

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<v Speaker 1>Travis and Taylor, I in the beginning wasn't team it.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought it went too fast. I didn't think it

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<v Speaker 1>was totally real. I thought in the beginning, I thought

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<v Speaker 1>it seemed like that she a pet of relationships. I

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<v Speaker 1>thought it was like just I didn't see them together

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<v Speaker 1>in the beginning. But like, if you think about how

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<v Speaker 1>I imagine she grew up and how I imagine he

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<v Speaker 1>grew up, I think their parents are both together. I

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<v Speaker 1>think they seem like they have similar fundamentals, like similar

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<v Speaker 1>family fundamentals, similar family support, and so in retrospect, I

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<v Speaker 1>can be a Monday Morning quarterback to use a topical

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<v Speaker 1>reference or analogy, it seems to work. But like I

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<v Speaker 1>wonder if they're going to go the distance from someone

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<v Speaker 1>pretty knowledgeable on the inside told me that they're going

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<v Speaker 1>the distance, I kind of like it. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>would mean there's hope for everyone. And I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>also like got a little bit of like quarterback and

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<v Speaker 1>captain of the cheerleading squad, and I kind of like that,

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<v Speaker 1>like Americana apple Pie aspect, just a more modern take.

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<v Speaker 1>And I hear they're spending a lot of time in

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<v Speaker 1>Florida together, which, of course I love. Florida is having

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<v Speaker 1>a real glow up right now.