1 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: So I've talked about this before, but in my work transition, 2 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: I have really had a skeleton crew here and I've 3 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: gone back to being my own assistant. And what does 4 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: that mean. It means like figuring out how to print 5 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: out return labels and box things up and get sorted 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: with my podcast equipment and get sorted with what's going 7 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: on in my house and managing home projects and managing 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: a team, and being very communicative with my emails and 9 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 1: with my texts. And I'm very big on throwing like 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: robotexting with like okay number one, sort the garage number two? 11 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: Where is this being very clear? Now? I am intense 12 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: and a lot for people that I work with, but 13 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: they always know where I stand and what I want, 14 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: and I get what i want because I'm not scattered 15 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: and I'm very clear, and it will everybody else to task. 16 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: And the weekly updates that I learned years ago when 17 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: I was working at Island Pictures for a guy named 18 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: Mark Berg underneath Chris Blackwell and then Linda Bruckheimer, like 19 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: these processes that I've used for twenty years, that they work, 20 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: like this update that once a week comes that basically 21 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: has like pending and like imminent. Imminent would be like 22 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: dogs need to go to vet today for a tick. 23 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: Thing pending would be like the bag that I have 24 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,759 Speaker 1: at the shoe repair or something at tailoring that needs 25 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: to be written on an update because it lives somewhere 26 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: and it's not just me in the middle of the 27 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 1: night or on a vacation being like, wait, what happens 28 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: to that bag? Like every box getting checked. And I 29 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: will say, once you do the job of the people 30 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: that work around you or with you, or people that 31 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: are your coworkers, once you do the job, you know 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: how competent or other people are. It's the same way 33 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: as like a wife. The husband has to do the 34 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: mob's job. He has to cook, he has to clan, 35 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: he has to get the laundry, get the kids to school, 36 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: get the raincoat to get the permission slips, get the 37 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: sports activity snacks, keep the house in order, keep the 38 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: house tidy, vacuum. There was a movie years ago with 39 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: Michael Keaton Mister Mom about that, and then by the 40 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: end he ends up respecting the mom's job. Well, you 41 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: could be doing your assistant's job, or your coworker's job, 42 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: or someone else's job and realize how hard that job 43 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: is or how incompetent they are, because people move papers 44 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: around the desk and they don't work efficiently and smart. 45 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: And I always say, it's not how hard you work, 46 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: it's how smart you work. You go go to the 47 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: gym and spend four hours sweating and going in circles, 48 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,399 Speaker 1: but if you're not working smart and efficient, you don't 49 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: get the results. And me being on that runway and 50 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: everyone thinking like I work out at the gym every 51 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: single day and I've secretly got a trainer and all 52 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: this shit. I walk and I'm efficient about when I 53 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: walk because it makes my walk go longer. If I 54 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: do work calls on my walk, if I talk to 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: my therapist on my walk, if I talk to my 56 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: business manager and go through my finances on my walk, 57 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: like I'm efficient, I'm lean. I get it done and 58 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: the minute I know it has to be done, I 59 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: immediately get it done. Like that's who I am, and 60 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: that's working smarter. I'm not like flailing flapping my wings. 61 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: I wasn't the one who used to talk at work 62 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: all the time. I was the one that had my 63 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: head down, get it done, then go relax and on 64 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: a photo shoot it's always a brand saying it's gonna 65 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: take eight hours. It's always my team saying it's not. 66 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: It's gonna take her three hours and them saying no, 67 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: and her saying yes, we get there. It's three hours. 68 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: I don't fuck around with lunch. I don't fuck around 69 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,679 Speaker 1: with a snack. We get it done. And the crew 70 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 1: is always so grateful because they get to get the 71 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: fuck out of there. And that is the critical difference 72 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: between me and everybody else. It's called get it done, 73 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: lean and efficient, no foreplay. So I have to say, 74 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: you figure out how your staff is actually working. And again, 75 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: don't cheap out. Don't hire the cheapest person. If you 76 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: have people working for you or with you, make sure 77 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: you're taking care of people. If it's someone who's a babysitter, 78 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: if it's someone who's a nanny, if it's someone who's 79 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: an intern, if it's someone who's a dog walker, if 80 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: it's someone who's a helper, whatever it is, you pay 81 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: them in baked goods, You send them a thank you note, 82 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: You be grateful, and you let people know that they're 83 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: helping you because you're reinforcing positivity and you're also motivating 84 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: them to do the work. But if you do the job, 85 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: you'll not get stolen from people that work with you 86 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: will know. You know where the bodies are buried, you 87 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: know how charges happen, you know what everyone's spending, you 88 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: know how this gets done. And then they'll also know 89 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: that they can't just overcharge you. I've had people pretend 90 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 1: something take hours. I'm like, yeah, I just did that 91 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: in five minutes. Like that's a scam. I just booked 92 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: the hotel five minutes, just booked the travel on this app. 93 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: That's a scam that it took you all this time. 94 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: It could be people overcharging you for design, people overcharging 95 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: you for travel agent stuff, people overcharging you for landscaping. 96 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: We'll pay. I don't know what it is, but check 97 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: your people, check the people that work around you, with 98 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: you and for you, because if you do the job, 99 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: you're like you're undercover boss, and you will see what 100 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: it takes. And people like to talk a lot about 101 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: getting things done. I say, get it done. The path 102 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: of least resistance and the shortest distance is just a 103 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: straight line between points. This has to get done. Don't 104 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: tell me it can't get done. I know it can 105 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: get done. How are we getting it done. We're solution based. People. 106 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 1: Cannot tell you how many people try to whine and 107 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: spend more time talking about how something can't get done 108 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: than standing up and just going in and getting it done. Well, 109 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: that's gonna take a while. I have to call the 110 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: this guy. We'll have to look that up. Get it 111 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 1: done right now, Just get it done. Nike said it best, 112 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: Just do it. You're welcome. I now know what love 113 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 1: bombing is. I call it the Chia pet of dating. 114 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: Like some people think you're just gonna add water and 115 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: be in a relationship. And these are those people that 116 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: haven't done the work. Might be that they were in 117 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: a long marriage and they're just needy and they're used 118 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: to relationship and it's a disservice to themselves because they 119 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: just want to just add water and there's a relationship. 120 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,039 Speaker 1: And I come in contact with these people where there's 121 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 1: a familiarity and a language and a way of texting, 122 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: and I don't like that. I like tradition, I like formality. 123 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: I don't like when someone immediately thinks like we're in 124 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: an instant relationship. Because we had one conversation and one 125 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: of the best things that I ever heard from one 126 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: of the dating experts on this podcast was this is 127 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:38,039 Speaker 1: a stranger. People on both sides of dating get so 128 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: familiar so quick because you get excited. It could be because 129 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 1: you've had sex, but even before sex, you're so excited. 130 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: You want to meet someone, you think you like someone, 131 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: you think they like you. You're talking in futuristic terms on 132 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 1: the fairy tale, fictitious first date or first meeting, and 133 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: you think it's all real. I've had people who are 134 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: talking to me about the future and then we text 135 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: like once or twice, and we never speak again. I've 136 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: had people also right after meeting them because we liked 137 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,720 Speaker 1: each other and we had a little flirt and maybe 138 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: I was gaslighting myself into thinking I like them, or 139 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: maybe I want an instant relationship because it makes it 140 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: so much easier, just check the box. And then like 141 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: they're messaging you like pictures of their family or kids, 142 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: or like inside baseball all day, Like I don't want 143 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: to get to a familiar point until we're at a 144 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: familiar point. I don't want to meet your kids. I 145 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: don't want to meet your parents. I don't want to 146 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: see you in your pajamas, I don't want to see 147 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: you in your natural habitat until we're in a relationship. 148 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: You cannot rush a process. You meet someone, you get 149 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: to know them, and so if they can't control themselves, 150 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: you have to control yourself. You can never put the 151 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: toothpaste back in the tube once it's out. So once 152 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: you kind of let this person take you for granted, 153 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: think they already have you. Think you're in a familiar state, 154 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: Think you're in a relationship. Think they can like just 155 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: sort of show up when they want, call you when 156 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: they want, like have a booty call. Whatever. No way, 157 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: do not get to the familiarity state before it's been 158 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: earned and proven. For both sides. One is it's creepy 159 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: and weird, and it means someone is emotionally missing a 160 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 1: chip and hasn't done the work on themselves because they 161 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: just want to do instant relationship or you too, that's 162 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: how like you immediately get into what are we doing tonight? 163 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: What are we doing tomorrow? Like you're like married, Immediately 164 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: the wheels come off. It gets to be a turn off. 165 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: That's the love stage, and it's premature. You can't have 166 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: love until you actually are really in love, and it 167 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: is true love. You cannot pretend you're in love with 168 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 1: a stranger. There really is no such thing as love 169 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: at first sight. It doesn't exist. There's lust at first sight, 170 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: there's oh my god, I can't believe how I feel 171 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: about this person at first sight. I could eventually see 172 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,439 Speaker 1: myself falling in love with this person, but you have 173 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: no institutional knowledge to make that assessment, and as someone 174 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: who has made such shit relationship choices, do not get 175 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: to that state. We all go there in the beginning, 176 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: like oh my god, you're imagining your kids' names, you're 177 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: living together, you're fantasizing, you're seeing what the cadence is 178 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: going to be like in your life and in your dating. 179 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: It doesn't exist. It's not real, and you're gonna get 180 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: the ick, whether it's in the beginning or after, and 181 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 1: it's almost embarrassing in front of yourself. You're like, oh 182 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe last week I was thinking 183 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: all this, Like do not rush. You never have that 184 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: chance to really build again. And once you give it 185 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: all away, once you sleep with someone in the beginning, 186 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: once you're too familiar in the beginning, once you've showed 187 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: them you in pajamas in the beginning, like all of it. 188 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: It's like, it's not cute. Keep the formality. For a while, 189 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: people were nitpicking on social media about Kim Kardashian and 190 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: law school and like why they're like, she didn't graduate 191 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: from law school because I guess she didn't go to 192 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: law school, but she got a degree and she took 193 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,439 Speaker 1: the bar and she studied, like not everyone goes to 194 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: drivers at either, and not everyone goes to driving school, 195 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: and not everyone goes to sit in the class of 196 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: real state school to get their real estate license either. 197 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know much about it. But 198 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: she's a pretty big multitasker. I think she has a 199 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: show coming out, maybe on Hulu or somewhere. I think 200 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: she's proven herself. I think if she got a law degree, 201 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: she fucking earned it and deserved it, and like she 202 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 1: deserves the flowers. Okay, if she can practice law, which 203 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if she can, I don't know the rules. 204 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: If she can practice law or is actually consay she's 205 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: a lawyer, then she went to law school. In my book, 206 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 1: Travis and Taylor, I in the beginning wasn't team it. 207 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: I thought it went too fast. I didn't think it 208 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,719 Speaker 1: was totally real. I thought in the beginning, I thought 209 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: it seemed like that she a pet of relationships. I 210 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: thought it was like just I didn't see them together 211 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: in the beginning. But like, if you think about how 212 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: I imagine she grew up and how I imagine he 213 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: grew up, I think their parents are both together. I 214 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: think they seem like they have similar fundamentals, like similar 215 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: family fundamentals, similar family support, and so in retrospect, I 216 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: can be a Monday Morning quarterback to use a topical 217 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: reference or analogy, it seems to work. But like I 218 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 1: wonder if they're going to go the distance from someone 219 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: pretty knowledgeable on the inside told me that they're going 220 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,959 Speaker 1: the distance, I kind of like it. I think that 221 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: would mean there's hope for everyone. And I think it's 222 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: also like got a little bit of like quarterback and 223 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: captain of the cheerleading squad, and I kind of like that, 224 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: like Americana apple Pie aspect, just a more modern take. 225 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: And I hear they're spending a lot of time in 226 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: Florida together, which, of course I love. Florida is having 227 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: a real glow up right now.