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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.

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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Happy Monday, Happy MLK

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Speaker 1: Junior Day. That's right, holiday, it is a holiday. Um

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Speaker 1: I get I'm sitting right next to you, I know,

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Speaker 1: side by side, you guys, this is like, um, this

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Speaker 1: is some real Tanya Ish the Evening News. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: you know this is like my greatest heart's desire. Well,

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Speaker 1: we started out the new year while I was like,

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Speaker 1: our first podcast was me still in quarantine from coming back.

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Speaker 1: So it feels good to be next to each other.

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Speaker 1: Nothing feels better. And I got Becca a bottle of

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Speaker 1: Dr Pepper to have here and her nice fancy ice

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Speaker 1: cube just special just for her. She has these like

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Speaker 1: ball ice cubes that are really just they really make

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Speaker 1: a difference of just like class level, and so she

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Speaker 1: really classed up my Doctor Pepper experience with one of those.

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Speaker 1: But not only that, but we are on the same

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Speaker 1: side of the desk, which normally we're across from each other,

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Speaker 1: which you know when when we talk about our debate

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Speaker 1: of how we go out to eat, and sitting on

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Speaker 1: the same side I'm realizing this is why I like

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Speaker 1: that sitting across from each other, because I'm having to

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Speaker 1: turn my neck and weird. I already don't like it.

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Speaker 1: You have to turn away from the microphone to see

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Speaker 1: each other, and then your heads in a weird position

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Speaker 1: of turn, but your mouth stays in front of the mic.

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Speaker 1: It's awkward. Well, I mean, okay, fine, we can look

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Speaker 1: at each other in the zoom. Yeah, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: look at you through the zoom camera. And it's so

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Speaker 1: nice that I can just touch I can just touch

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Speaker 1: here a handful of extensions there. Yeah. So what did

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Speaker 1: you do this weekend? How was your week? Like? Update me? Um? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I do have to say I had like a

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Speaker 1: few I'm actually really good. Yeah, yeah, I feel really good.

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Speaker 1: And um, I had like a couple of whiplashy conversations

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Speaker 1: the past like a few weeks. And I mean those

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Speaker 1: in like a good way, like you know those with

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Speaker 1: like where you have these conversations and it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like oh in your face and you didn't you know, Like, um,

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Speaker 1: so I posted this photo of myself in a bikini

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Speaker 1: um on my Instagram story and I um posted it

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Speaker 1: like without face tune or anything like that, which was

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Speaker 1: a really big deal for me because anytime I've ever

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Speaker 1: posted a photo, you know, I like, I make you

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Speaker 1: take a million photos and I do all the body contorted,

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Speaker 1: face tune in all the things, and for some reason,

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Speaker 1: like I've just been I just feel really good. And

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Speaker 1: so I just posted this photo. I wasn't even posing

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Speaker 1: for it, and I just kind of like went on

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Speaker 1: this thing about how um I always you know, face

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Speaker 1: tuned my photos and this is just me like razor

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Speaker 1: bumps and and flab and you know, here it is.

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Speaker 1: And I got so many d m s and this

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Speaker 1: one woman d M mean said something about how she

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Speaker 1: is so happy she had her daughter follow me on

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Speaker 1: Instagram to have me like to look up to. Right this,

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend of mine calls me and she's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever told you this, but

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Speaker 1: there was this guy that I went out with like

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Speaker 1: over a year ago now and he had two kids,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, uh, he had his daughter follow

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Speaker 1: you on Instagram after your date because he said that

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Speaker 1: you were such like a good role model for her,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, wait, he went on a

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Speaker 1: day with you? Yeah, this was like over obviously this

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Speaker 1: was like over a year ago, so like because but

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Speaker 1: he like still asks about me and uh told his

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Speaker 1: daughter to follow me, And I was just like that

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Speaker 1: was like a whiplash moment for me. Like it was

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Speaker 1: like I've had a handful of conversations with this this

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Speaker 1: man and he's met me once and he thinks like that,

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Speaker 1: I like that he wants his daughter to get to

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Speaker 1: know me through Instagram, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like that was so nice and I can't even explain

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Speaker 1: to you, like what that did to my heart inside,

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Speaker 1: Like it was a whiplash. Like I'm not sure you're

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Speaker 1: using whiplash properly, but I think we get what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you here's the thing when Tanya says something

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Speaker 1: that doesn't actually it's not technically right. You just if

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Speaker 1: you know Tanya, you know what she's trying to say.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm trying to say though, Like it kind

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Speaker 1: of it hit me that it was piphany, Epiphany, and

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Speaker 1: might I like epiphany? Okay, God, my daughter follows you

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and by the way, she'd kind of like

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Speaker 1: a follow back, but you know, you know, someday i'd

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Speaker 1: send me her handle I'll totally follow her back, but like,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I'm saying. It was one of

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Speaker 1: those um, like I don't know, epiphany whiplash moments where

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Speaker 1: I was just like that is that did some things

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Speaker 1: to my heart, you know, like that you want your

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Speaker 1: daughter to follow me on Instagram and like want her

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Speaker 1: to know me and think that I'm a good you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like it just did something to

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Speaker 1: my mind. I like that she follows you. I think

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Speaker 1: I think you're a good influence. Just like that guy said,

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Speaker 1: I feel the same way. It did. It did something

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Speaker 1: to me, like change your mindset. It just changed my mindset.

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Speaker 1: And uh, it just yeah, I don't know, sent me

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Speaker 1: into a really good headspace. And so I want her

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Speaker 1: to be a modern woman. I want her to embrace

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Speaker 1: all of the things on the little frames behind you.

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Speaker 1: I want to embrace all of that stuff. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Mark um. And so I had a couple of those

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Speaker 1: conversations that just kind of put me in like a different,

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Speaker 1: really good headspace. I know this is off topic, well

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Speaker 1: kind of off topic of the point of the story,

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Speaker 1: but is it. Do I know about this guy? Was

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Speaker 1: this one? Yeah? Yes, No, I didn't know if this

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Speaker 1: was before we met or something. No, no, no no, no,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you know we haven't named for him

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Speaker 1: on this show. No no, no no. And it's not

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Speaker 1: even about That's always say. It wasn't about that. But

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Speaker 1: I was just not going back. We're not looking to

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Speaker 1: the past. We're moving forward. We're looking forward, We're going

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Speaker 1: But but it was more about the fact that like

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Speaker 1: I barely like he had a handful of conversations and

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Speaker 1: he thought, Wow, I want that this my daughter to

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Speaker 1: get to know this this woman. So I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it was just very nice. So I I'm feeling good.

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Speaker 1: Are you, like, what's what's your headspace right now? Are

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Speaker 1: you just like I'm focusing on myself. I'm healing from

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Speaker 1: this relationship, Like where are you at with that? Because

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Speaker 1: I noticed, I mean, it was really I got emotional

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Speaker 1: reading some of the messages on the Facebook group of people,

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Speaker 1: the support from the scrubbers and whoever started that thread.

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Speaker 1: I was bawling. I didn't see it until a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people were sending it to me in on Instagram

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Speaker 1: the thread and I started reading it, and I think,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like hypersensitive right now, But I was bawling

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Speaker 1: because it's just like so nice. I know. That's what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, I feel like you're just surrounded by

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Speaker 1: so much love, love and encouragement. It's true. So you're

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Speaker 1: feeling that like times a hundred. Yeah, you know what

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Speaker 1: the world is our oyster, and I don't think sometimes

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Speaker 1: you don't realize the possibilities until you open your eyes.

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Speaker 1: So I'm I'm feeling good. Um, So, Haley and I

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Speaker 1: went into the desert. We went to Joshua Tree this

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Speaker 1: this weekend and we were driving back. We drove back

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Speaker 1: this morning and we had the morning show on and

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Speaker 1: she goes, is that Yeah. He was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I've ever heard this live, Like I hear commercials,

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Speaker 1: but I've never like I heard it live, and so

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Speaker 1: I don't know. We're talking about dating apps. That girl

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Speaker 1: called in talking about, um like being scared to get

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Speaker 1: on dating. I think she really wanted a day Ryan.

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Speaker 1: I know that. I was like, I think this is

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Speaker 1: her chance to shoot her show with Ryan. That's how

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Speaker 1: I felt. Yeah, yeah, but um yeah it was. It's

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Speaker 1: we had a great weekend and it was like, really

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Speaker 1: we did vision boards. Where is it? It's all what's

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Speaker 1: on your vision board. Well, so you know, I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel like I got great magazine, so I really had

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Speaker 1: to make do with what I had. If you have

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Speaker 1: if you have space on your vision board, I have

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Speaker 1: a bunch of magazines downstairs you can take home if

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Speaker 1: you want. I mean, it was more so just want

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Speaker 1: to focus on um like mental health and physical health.

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Speaker 1: Like I really want to learn to love to exercise.

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Speaker 1: I just don't like I feel great afterwards, but like

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Speaker 1: I don't like the process of doing it. So that's

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Speaker 1: kind of one of my goals for this year. Um,

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Speaker 1: I had some visions. I'm I'm like kind of in

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Speaker 1: the process of looking to buy a house right now,

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Speaker 1: which is super exciting but kind of intimidating being in

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Speaker 1: l A because it's not like you just it's like

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Speaker 1: it's very expensive and it's very it's a dog eat

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Speaker 1: dog world right now, Like yeah, and even if you pounce,

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Speaker 1: someone else could come in and have cash or something.

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Speaker 1: So it's a little crazy, but I'm excited about it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like really grateful that I'm like in the

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Speaker 1: position to buy a house. But um, anyways, I had

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Speaker 1: some of that stuff on my vision board, but it

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Speaker 1: was just so nice to get away and something about

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Speaker 1: the desert. I I swear we were in a vortex.

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Speaker 1: To vortex, it literally makes you It's like, so I've

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Speaker 1: been in one in Sedona, Arizona. A. Yeah, so it's

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Speaker 1: like a I don't energy or something, but it makes

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Speaker 1: you feel like the whole weekend we felt high. But

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Speaker 1: we didn't take any edibles or anything. We didn't drink,

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Speaker 1: we didn't taget nothing. We were just like using I

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Speaker 1: don't know, it's you'll have to I don't know exactly.

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Speaker 1: I looked up one of vortex is, but basically you

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Speaker 1: feel like Becca knows what a vortex. I swear, I swear. Look,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna look it up. I wasn't a wartex too.

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Speaker 1: I'll it's a mass of whirling fluid or airs. Okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: that's not the right birth. That's what I'm thinking. It's

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Speaker 1: like one of those in those movies when like somebody

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Speaker 1: comes out like Moana when like the winter parts. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's areas of concentrated energy rising from the earth, and

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Speaker 1: it says that Joshua Tree is like full of them.

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Speaker 1: So it can make you feel like really calm and

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Speaker 1: happy and peaceful, and it's weird, like I swear we

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Speaker 1: were both going. I was like, I feel like I

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Speaker 1: took an edible and she was like me too, because

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Speaker 1: she was giggling everything I said. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I asked her she took one and she was like no,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like I did I need to go

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Speaker 1: to Joshua Tree. Anyways, we were very like no, miss Day,

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Speaker 1: like I had a great weekend. And then we I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just felt recharged. I feel it peace.

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Speaker 1: And then we get in the car and I the

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Speaker 1: first person cuts me off and I'm like, what, so

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Speaker 1: my novice date was? Can I just tell you guys

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Speaker 1: something I feel like peace is a very underrated thing. Yeah. Peace,

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Speaker 1: like just feeling like peace and contentment. Yeah, and marks

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Speaker 1: even me a look, but like, okay, So I didn't

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Speaker 1: realize what a luxury it is to be able to

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Speaker 1: sleep through the night. A lot of people have problems sleeping,

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Speaker 1: but I realized that it's because I have this like piece,

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Speaker 1: just like I have this internal peace, and whenever that

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Speaker 1: piece is interrupt did I have a hard time sleeping?

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Speaker 1: And so it brings me back to why are you laughing?

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Speaker 1: I'm just excited to hear what you're gonna say that

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Speaker 1: peace is like such an underrated thing, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: think we realize it too. Because I was talking to

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Speaker 1: my friend Aaron about her fiance and she was saying,

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Speaker 1: how because I think everybody is in a weird space

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Speaker 1: just in terms of pandemic fatigue right now, Like everyone's

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Speaker 1: just kind of aunty and anxious and like, you know,

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Speaker 1: And she was talking to me about her fiance and

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Speaker 1: she's like, he just has this inner peace that just

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Speaker 1: is so like calming and grounding and rooted. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, that is a great quality to having a partner.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like I wouldn't think that, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like I would never be like, are you

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Speaker 1: somebody that has a lot of peace? You know, I

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Speaker 1: don't even think it's that because I don't think people

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Speaker 1: who have peace and know that about themselves you don't

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Speaker 1: think so I don't think so. I mean maybe they peace,

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Speaker 1: But I'm saying like, I don't think that you would

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Speaker 1: approach someone to be like do you have piece? I

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Speaker 1: think you it's just something you feel around specific people

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Speaker 1: that where you connect and there's that that's something that

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Speaker 1: feels like safe and comforting. Well, I loving just everybody

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Speaker 1: that's listening. This is a great p s A. If

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Speaker 1: you're searching and on the hunt peace. Where do you

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Speaker 1: think your piece comes from? My faith? Yeah? I always

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Speaker 1: say the same thing, like I think when people ask

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Speaker 1: me questions about faith, I always just say, there's this

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Speaker 1: piece like this, knowing that I can't explain or put

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Speaker 1: into words aside from peace and like a serenity that

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Speaker 1: only comes from that. But um, I haven't been sleeping well,

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Speaker 1: so I don't know what's going on. But that's okay.

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Speaker 1: You know, even a peaceful person can have moments. Trust me,

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Speaker 1: I had some sleepless nights late lads of late, okay.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think most people in your situation would

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Speaker 1: be a little rest some unruly, unruly sleep, but sleeps back. Baby,

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Speaker 1: that's a good feeling. Yeah. I I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: just have been I actually think it's because I wasn't drinking.

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Speaker 1: I got back from my trip and then I wasn't

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Speaker 1: drinking any caffeine late. I was only drinking water and

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Speaker 1: eating healthy, so I think I was having like extreme withdrawal.

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Speaker 1: So like by the time I got in bed, I

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Speaker 1: just crashed and then I started incorporating like the Zebia

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Speaker 1: drinks that have caffeine and them still the root beer,

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Speaker 1: but the other ones do. And I was drinking of

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Speaker 1: a dinner, so I think that was keeping me awake

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Speaker 1: because in the desert I didn't drink any caffeine and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I wasn't not the stake

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Speaker 1: text more text more even like a baby, So tonight

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Speaker 1: will really be the true time? Becca's nma stay war texting.

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Speaker 1: I'm kicking back with a soda. It's not a real soda.

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Speaker 1: It's like sugar free, zero calorie flavored water. It's close

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Speaker 1: as I'm going to get to a soda. Kicking back

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Speaker 1: with the soda. How's your Harry Potter binge going? Okay?

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Speaker 1: First of all, nobody told me Robert Pattinson was in

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Speaker 1: Harry Potter, so that was a de light. Are you

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Speaker 1: a fan? Yeah? Since when the Pope Catholic? Okay, Tanya,

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Speaker 1: since when Twilight? Yeah? But like did you Twilight? I

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Speaker 1: mean that's where it ended, but like Twilight. Hello. I

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Speaker 1: was always like in the movies, I was team Jacob

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Speaker 1: because I loved Taylor. When I met Taylor Lawn and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't it funny that we like hang out with him,

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Speaker 1: I have never felt so just like I have made

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Speaker 1: it team Jacob all the way and I'm at his house.

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Speaker 1: Is he is he have peace? Is he a peaceful man?

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Speaker 1: He has peace? For sure. Yeah. It's a really great human.

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Speaker 1: He's a great human. He actually invited, Uh, we should

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Speaker 1: go they just he just moved we should go have

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Speaker 1: a meal in the backyard, you know, reach out to

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Speaker 1: him about that a meal already did so. Anyways, you're

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Speaker 1: a Robert Pattinson fans, so his appearance in Harry Potter

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Speaker 1: was a real thrill. It was a real thrill. And

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm on this journey with a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. I'm getting so many messages and like, um,

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Speaker 1: my friend Alex sent me the books because she was like,

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Speaker 1: the books are so good. So I mean that I

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Speaker 1: was going to say, so we go through the movies

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Speaker 1: with you and then we have to deal with the

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Speaker 1: book reading. And then Reggae Jean Page, who's the guy

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Speaker 1: from Bridgertain Mark sent me this article. He happens to

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Speaker 1: be in Harry Potter. Um, I think either the seventh

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Speaker 1: or eighth one of the last two movies. The main

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Speaker 1: guy from Yeah, so it's just like an embarrassment of

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Speaker 1: riches at Harry Potter Land. I don't recommend reading the

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Speaker 1: books after you've watched the movie. I think that would

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Speaker 1: be weird. The other ways the only way to go

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Speaker 1: if you want to read the books, I would stop

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Speaker 1: the movies right now and go read the books because

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Speaker 1: they're fantastic. But let me tell you so, I think

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Speaker 1: what I want to do after I finish Harry Potter

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Speaker 1: is I think I want to restart Sex in the

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Speaker 1: City from the beginning. I would be down to do

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Speaker 1: that with you. Should we do it? Yeah? Like season

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Speaker 1: one Sex in the City is think exactly what I need. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I felt so embarrassed at my performance and our

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Speaker 1: quiz last week, and Eastern just dominated. He has no embarrassment,

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Speaker 1: But I was just like, I need to watch it

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Speaker 1: again because that was it was a disappointment myself. Honestly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm done for that. Maybe we skip season one start

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Speaker 1: season two, Okay, whatever you want. I don't like season

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Speaker 1: one because they like talking to the camera. Remember that

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Speaker 1: you were just like season one Sex in the City

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Speaker 1: and then you don't even like season one, no, because

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Speaker 1: I think they were still talking into the screen. Do

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Speaker 1: you guys remember that when they were like, yeah, they

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Speaker 1: did this like weird interview style thing for the first Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like they cut they what is it called when you

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Speaker 1: cut the I didn't like it. Everyone like random people

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Speaker 1: to like, not even the characters. Yeah, that's why I

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Speaker 1: couldn't watch House of Cards because everyone talked about how

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Speaker 1: great it was, and then I'd be in it and

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Speaker 1: then they turned the screen and start talking to me,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, whoa, I'm here to just watch.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to be a part. Don't look at

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Speaker 1: dn't sign, don't look at me. I'm not ready. I

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Speaker 1: liked it in Fleabag, but for some reason I don't

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Speaker 1: like in Sex and City because they didn't carry it out.

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Speaker 1: So it was just like it was just like a

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Speaker 1: pilot episode, pilot season thing. Yeah, well, um, we could

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Speaker 1: all be there's four of us, we could all be

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Speaker 1: a Sex and City character. We're just like the girls,

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Speaker 1: just like them. Who would your name is? Who? That

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Speaker 1: would be a little tough. Um, Yeah, that's gonna say.

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Speaker 1: Samantha would be the hard one East didn't do would

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Speaker 1: be Samantha. I don't know, well, not Mark, I'll just

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Speaker 1: be whoever you're not how about that. Whoever's left overall?

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Speaker 1: Take well, who's Samantha? Because here's the thing I think

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Speaker 1: Becca's carry Wow, don't you think that thrills me? I

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Speaker 1: don't even care if it's right or not. I'm taking it.

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Speaker 1: Don't take it away from me. Carrie and Tanya's Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm Charlotte. I feel like I'm more

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Speaker 1: Charlotte than Samantha. So then Eastern, I guess, would be Miranda. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna volunteer to be Samantha. Can I just

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Speaker 1: be Samantha? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, in my heart I'm Samantha. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: deep down we all have some Samantha. You know What's

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Speaker 1: funny though, I feel like when the sexon City was on,

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Speaker 1: like back of the day, like nobody wanted to be Miranda,

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Speaker 1: And like now I'm like, I would totally be Like

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Speaker 1: Miranda was such a modern woman and I didn't even

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Speaker 1: realize it when I was watching the shows, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, but I also kind of understand

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Speaker 1: why people were like those wardrobe choices. I felt, you know, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think that a lot. And sometimes in Gray's Anatomy,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, who did this? True? Um, okay, Well, so fun. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So you're Carrie, I'm Charlotte, Easan, Samantha, and Marcus Miranda. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe we should find an epic scene with all four

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Speaker 1: of them and acted out on the podcast. Okay, table read, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: um okay. I also had a groundbreaking revelation in therapy

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Speaker 1: last week UM that I wanted to share, but we're

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Speaker 1: going to take a break first and then we'll be

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Speaker 1: back with that. Al Right, we are back. So I

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Speaker 1: shared this on my Instagram last week. But I had

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Speaker 1: UM therapy on Tuesday and we were talking about you

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Speaker 1: do it every Tuesday. I try to say, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: try to stay consistent on that, UM. But we were

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Speaker 1: talking about how I when I argue, I get defensive,

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Speaker 1: like pretty quickly, because I feel like my way is

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Speaker 1: the truth, in the right way, like in my mind,

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Speaker 1: how it happened from my eyes is how it happened,

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Speaker 1: and anyone else who challenges that it makes me feel

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Speaker 1: really defensive. And so then that's how I argue, and

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Speaker 1: I always say things like no, that's not what happened

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Speaker 1: or that's not the truth. And I learned that that's

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Speaker 1: a form of gas lighting, which I thought was really

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Speaker 1: interesting because I've always associated gaslighting with like someone who's

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Speaker 1: just like evil, manipulative and like, you know, emotionally abusive,

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Speaker 1: which I guess it's still is, but unintentionally I do

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Speaker 1: that all the time. I'm going to just say it

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Speaker 1: to me against slower. Okay, so if you're in an argument,

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Speaker 1: like let's say we're arguing the sky is blue and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, today, it's gray, and then we start

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Speaker 1: fighting about that, and you say, well, you said this

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Speaker 1: guy was a gray whatever, And then I say, this

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Speaker 1: is probably a horrible example because this guy is. It

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Speaker 1: was tough. It was tough. You give me a challenge.

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Speaker 1: But if I said, if you, if you said you've

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Speaker 1: said this and it made me feel this way, and

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Speaker 1: I said, that's not what happened, that's right. I had

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Speaker 1: no idea the importance of like validating someone, even if

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Speaker 1: even if also validating someone doesn't mean that you agree

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Speaker 1: with them or believe what what they say. It just

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Speaker 1: means that you're validating, validating their experience and how they

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Speaker 1: saw or whatever their truth. And it was really interesting

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Speaker 1: because I realized, I do that Tanya's laundry is done,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know if you heard that, but her

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Speaker 1: laundry is done. Um. But it was very eye opening

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Speaker 1: for me and like not to be you know. She

400
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Speaker 1: was like, you're not going to get it right the

401
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: first time, and she said maybe if if a conversation

402
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: like that comes up and you're having a situation where

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Speaker 1: you see things differently with someone, you say, Okay, I

404
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 1: hear you, but that wasn't my experience. Yeah, And you know,

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Speaker 1: what's something that I'm I'm learning about two is like

406
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Speaker 1: sometimes just letting somebody share how they're feeling is a

407
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: nice thing. You know, you don't have to fight about everything.

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes you can just express how something made

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Speaker 1: you feel and it's like, I'm sorry you felt that way,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, That's not how I intended.

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Speaker 1: That wasn't my intention or whatever. And it doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to turn into like a huge thing. I know, but

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Speaker 1: I get I'm like trying to work on not getting

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Speaker 1: defensive when my way isn't the only way. But I

415
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: never even realized I was doing it. So it's like

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Speaker 1: something I'm even just being aware of. It is something

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00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: to grow from. But it's kind of like intimidating, you know,

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Speaker 1: because that's been how I've argued my whole if I

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Speaker 1: feel like, I was like, well, how I see it

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Speaker 1: is the right way and anything else is absolutely crazy.

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Speaker 1: Like that's how I feel like, were we not in

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Speaker 1: the same thing like situation of in the same conversation

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Speaker 1: because you're way of thinking does not make sense to me.

424
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: So I thought that was good. I thought it was

425
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 1: something to share because I imagine a lot of people

426
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 1: do it without even realizing they're doing it. Well, I

427
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: think a lot of these things are like so ingrained

428
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: in us, you know what I mean. Like it's funny.

429
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: You know, my dad is in his seventies and something

430
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: that that they always did, like they were you know,

431
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: guilt tripping is like a big thing, and he's just

432
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: like it's something that's been ingrained, you know, like my

433
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: parents gave me guilt trips and so it was just

434
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 1: like something that he's actively working on. And you know

435
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: he's older, so it's like having to retrain the way

436
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: that you've lived your life for so long. It's like

437
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: kind of intense totally, but like so great that you

438
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: acknowledge it and like wanting to work on it. Well,

439
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: and I was gonna say, so great for your dad

440
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: who's like older, and you know, at some point people

441
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: just go like, what's the point. I'm you know, older,

442
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm already set in my ways. But the fact that

443
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: he's acknowledging it and willing to work on it is

444
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: really really great. I know, it's cute. He just got

445
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: both of his shots, just really feeling good. The second

446
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: one he said he was feeling a little like Salsi

447
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: after for the day, but just that day. The next

448
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: day he was like, fine, yeah, I feel like I've

449
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: kind of heard that. And I really appreciate our scrub

450
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: scrubbers who have been posting the ones who have gotten

451
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: the vaccine and talking about like their side effects and stuff,

452
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: because I think it gives people a lot of um

453
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: just peace peace there we go, UM knowing, um, just

454
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: like getting the experience, so um, shout out to our

455
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: scrubbers who are doing the thing. So based on what

456
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: you learned there. When Tanya says something that's kind of nonsensical,

457
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 1: should we not correct her? Should we be like, we

458
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: hear you. That's not a word I ever heard use

459
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: that way in my life, But I acknowledge you for

460
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: using it, and that's not my understanding. I got a

461
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 1: d M on Instagram this week that we're all we're

462
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: all getting up on Tania too much. I've gotten those

463
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: two all the time. But wasn't about the Harry Potter

464
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: because everybody was like, ignore everybody else, Harry Potter is

465
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: the my thing. Harry Potter wasn't even so much that

466
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: you're watching like I don't. I'm thrilled for you if

467
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: you love it, but I felt like you were doing

468
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: it because society makes has hyped it up so much

469
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: that you felt like you needed to do it to

470
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: be a part. It wasn't that I competing on Harry Potter. Yeah,

471
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 1: I mean I wanted to see what the hype was about.

472
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: I wanted to be in the like okay, which okay um,

473
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,640
Speaker 1: but no, Mark. I think that Tanya has tanya is ms,

474
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: as one of our scrubbers named them, and I think

475
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,479
Speaker 1: that we we know what she's trying to say, and

476
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: we know that it's wrong, and I think most of

477
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: the time she knows that it's wrong. With a Whiplash

478
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: conversation like that's I feel like epiphany is the better choice.

479
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 1: I didn't think Whiplash was horribly off the track, but

480
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: it's like the conversation that got Yeah, but that was

481
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: definitely one of your better ones. When you get rerended

482
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 1: in a car and your next snaps back and you

483
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: hurt yourself, I mean it kind of it was a

484
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: mental it was an emotional whiplash. It was an emotional whiplash. Yeah. Um.

485
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: I Actually I got an interesting d M about how

486
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 1: we gave advice to the girl on the email that

487
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 1: we got about virginity that we spoke about, and she

488
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: made the comment that a lot of our listeners right

489
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: in for um advice for us as Christian woman and

490
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: looking for biblical advice. And I kind of had a

491
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 1: back and forth conversation with her because I said, listen, like,

492
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: we share our experiences. That's what that's what we did

493
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: specifically in that moment. That's what we always do. Like

494
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: when people write in for advice, we're not saying that

495
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: we're qualified to give professional or biblical advice. We just

496
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: are giving our experience and what we think. And I

497
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: thought it was kind of an interesting, uh viewpoint, because

498
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: I guess if we're not like a faith based podcast,

499
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: we just personally have faith faith our own relationship with

500
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: God and also like my relationship with God came in

501
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: my adult life, right. But she was just she was

502
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: saying like she was looking for biblical advice, and I

503
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: just like said, listen, if you know, when you write

504
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: into the podcast and you're asking for advice from us,

505
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: just know that we're only speaking from our own experiences.

506
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: We're not saying we're like qualified therapists or anything. We're

507
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: just hearing our own experiences. Speaking of I'm about to

508
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: I'm about to saw you here. Um, there is I'm

509
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: gonna saw you. There is this one Bible quote that

510
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 1: are mean, it's one of it's an inspirational quote from

511
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: the Bible. There is this one Bible verse that I've

512
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 1: been really um holding onto as of late, um that

513
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: I think people might just I don't know, resonate with

514
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: says for the Lord. For the Lord God is a

515
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: son in a shield. The Lord will give grace and glory.

516
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly,

517
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: basically meaning like if you walk up rightly, which I

518
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 1: believe that I do, no good thing will I withhold

519
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: so meaning like if it's gonna be good for me,

520
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: He's not going to take it away. Do you say,

521
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: what are you so are you talking about in that situation?

522
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: Just yeah, it just was really resonating with me right

523
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: now personally, and and um, well, I think a lot

524
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: of them. I think there's you know, the a lot

525
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: of people like have very specific things where they choose

526
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: to focus on, especially with the Bible, Like we're all

527
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: we all do things that the Bible is against, we

528
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: do things that the Bible is for. We're called to

529
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: love each other, we're called to not judge. And I

530
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: think what triggers me. I realized that what I'm triggered

531
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: by is the phrase I'm not meaning to sound judgmental,

532
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: because right off the bat, I'm already like tense because

533
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is gonna be sound judgmental, like no

534
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: matter what. And I think that that that's part of

535
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: you know, part of the journey of that we're all

536
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. But I just wanted to

537
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: say that when we give advice, we're just talking from

538
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: our own experiences. Mark East and Tania myself, Like, that's

539
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: all we can do, that's all we have. None of

540
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: us are trained professionals when it comes to giving advice,

541
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: and even if we were, we might say something that

542
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: people don't necessarily agree with, but if you're writing and

543
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: looking for advice, please don't expect it's so funny how

544
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: that like, for some reason those comments don't offend me.

545
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: I wasn't necessarily offended because I'm just like, to me,

546
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: my my faith is something that like is the cornerstone,

547
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: and like the way that I live my life, the

548
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: way that I choose live my life, the way that

549
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: I treat people, the way that I treat myself, the

550
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: way that I you know what I mean, the way

551
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: that I turned to how I turned to things, how

552
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: I turned to problems and issues, and it's kind of

553
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: like that's how it that's what it does for me.

554
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: And so I didn't I wasn't necessarily offended by it,

555
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: and we had a nice conversation. I just was more

556
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: so like putting it out there that if you're writing

557
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: in looking for a certain type of advice, just know

558
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: that we are only speaking from what we have, what

559
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: we've experienced. And I've had a lot of I've I know,

560
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: there's a lot of negative, like a lot of negative

561
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: outcome to like purity culture and how the church is

562
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: treated and how people have felt from it, And so

563
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: I'm kind of passionate about that and having been someone

564
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,239
Speaker 1: who was waiting for marriage and experience my own you know,

565
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: probably like journey as you know, waiting for marriage and

566
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: then and then having sex. It's like we all have

567
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: our own experiences and kind of go through different things.

568
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: And I think when that girl wrote us, she was

569
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: wanting our advice as someone who listened to our podcasts.

570
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: Somebody else wrote me to and was like, you know,

571
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: you shouldn't shame people if they do want to just

572
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: have unattached sex. And I'm like, girl, if you can

573
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: have unattached sex, by all means, go do it. But

574
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,239
Speaker 1: I was like, for me personally, I can't. And I

575
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: think that that was the thing that I was told

576
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: for so long in my life, was just like have fun,

577
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: so your oats, spread your seeds, you know whatever, and

578
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 1: it just wasn't how I was wired. So for me,

579
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: it's like I want to spread the mentality that I

580
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: wish I was given, you know when I was younger,

581
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: not the opposite, but by all means, if if having

582
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: a touch of sexes is your move, and do it,

583
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: you know, like, no judgment for me either way. Yeah.

584
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: I just thought it was an interesting conversation and that

585
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: was really it, nothing more to it, and it wasn't offended,

586
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: just was kind of like, it's an interesting person. I

587
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: just we all have so many different views, and especially

588
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: when it comes to like faith in religion, it can

589
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: get so complicated when it's like we're called to just

590
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: love each other, like a someone lives their life is

591
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: really none of your business unless it's hurting you personally.

592
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 1: And you know what I also found so interesting is like, um,

593
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: aside from that threat on Facebook, which was so nice,

594
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: so many girls hit me in d M on Instagram

595
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: and like not only just said like the nicest things,

596
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: but shared their own personal journeys and stories to love

597
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: and like, everybody's story is so different, it's like the

598
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: craziest thing. This woman messaged me and said that she

599
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: broke up with her boyfriend, that she thought she was

600
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: going to marry and then she ended up um marrying

601
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,479
Speaker 1: the next guy. She's been married for seventeen years. They

602
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: have two kids. She was sending me photos. Uh. This

603
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: other girl sent me a d M about how um

604
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,239
Speaker 1: she her first kiss. She had her first kiss at

605
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: thirty or whatever, and she only wanted to kiss one

606
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: person in her whole life, and they ended up breaking

607
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: up and then she didn't kiss anybody else and they

608
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: ended up getting back together and now they're married, so

609
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: she never kissed anybody else. Um. Yeah, Like everybody's just

610
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: been sharing their stories of like how they found love

611
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: and it's just like so beautiful and I just feel

612
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: so like lucky and that people care to share that

613
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: with I know. I love that they did that, you

614
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like a lot of people sent

615
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: just nice encouraging words, But when people shared their own

616
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: stories to to like encourage me because of their story,

617
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: I just think that's so cool. And I got so

618
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: many of those. So I just wanted to say things

619
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: because it really means a lot, and it just touches

620
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 1: my heart in such a different way. Yeah. I have

621
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: a question that I hope isn't painful. Have you written

622
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: in your Dear Future Husband journal lately? Mark? That's really dark?

623
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 1: But yes I have. I didn't mean to be dark.

624
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: I think I thought it might be therapeutic. Oh, that

625
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: bad boy got that bad boy got some ink around

626
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:36,479
Speaker 1: Christmas time. I got some penmanship and penmanship in there,

627
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, get a broken heart and a quarantine. Yeah,

628
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: So you know, I've been thinking about this for a while.

629
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: And no, I'm not going to say anything negative about

630
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: your relationship or Red Star, but I was thinking, you know,

631
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine someone being a better partner to someone

632
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 1: than you, like somebody that's really nice, somebody else. A

633
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: lot of people message me they were like, if I

634
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: had the choice, I would have you in my life

635
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: every single day. So this man's an idiot like this,

636
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: but sorry, Yeah, you know, everyone is going through their

637
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: own thing and gotta know what you gotta do and

638
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: whatever the reason. But I do have to you know,

639
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: the more as time passes, I go like, it's pretty

640
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: wild to think that someone gives up the opportunity to

641
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: be with someone like you. So I hope that you

642
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: feel confident in knowing that whoever gets that and chooses

643
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: that it works at it. I appreciate that, and I

644
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: don't think I realized it until honestly recently. Like, and

645
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 1: I'm not going to really get into details because I

646
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: don't need to, but the amount of like set ups

647
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: that people like in quality, men who have said that

648
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: they will quarantine and take tests to take me out

649
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 1: just like crazy, I'm like, what is happening you? Know,

650
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 1: like it's just it's really really nice. So you're getting

651
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 1: some offers in there. So yeah, all of a sudden,

652
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: everyone's like I have the perfect person that I'm like,

653
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 1: where were you two years ago? You know what I mean? Like, um,

654
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: but yeah, so yeah, I appreciate you for saying that. Yeah,

655
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm in a good place. I'm in My head's in

656
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: a good I feel like it. I feel like you

657
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 1: actually mean not because sometimes you say you're in a

658
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: good place, it's a little manic. So there's like, Okay, okay,

659
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: how are you today. I'm good, I'm gonna haven't cried.

660
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: I haven't cried yet. I'm not crying. I'm not crying.

661
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: I haven't even wanted to cry at all. I'm fine. Good. No,

662
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: you actually you seem genuinely good. Glad to hear it. Um.

663
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 1: I know we have some emails Mark, did you have

664
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 1: a quick another quiz for me to fail? You mentioning

665
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: section the city gave me an idea, So I have

666
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: another section of the city quiz for us to do

667
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 1: that all three of you can play. I hope it's

668
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: I hope it's more in my favor of the maybe

669
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 1: the episodes I've watched and that's stuck with me more

670
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: than last week because nothing wrong. Ring a bell, ring

671
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: a bell. Well, this is more than multiple choice variety,

672
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: so that might help you. That will definitely help me.

673
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: Are we going to do that or should we do emails?

674
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,399
Speaker 1: We do it all? Well, let's just an embarrassment of time.

675
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: Is that what we have? We gotta burn some serious

676
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: hours here. Yeah, um, well we'll do both of those

677
00:37:43,640 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: things when we come back from a break. All right,

678
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,439
Speaker 1: we are back Mark. We are going to start with

679
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: the Sex and the City quiz, and he just shared

680
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 1: that he was going to have it to where everyone

681
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: just jumped in and guess the answer, but he said

682
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: that would really basically count me out, so's you might

683
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 1: want to think about each one. So here's here's the

684
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: premise of it. I'm going to describe one of the

685
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: boyfriends or dates from section the city, and you tell

686
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: me which of the four dated this guy. Oh fun, Okay,

687
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: I might have a chance here. Okay, alright, good, So

688
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: we're going to order, but first we have to figure

689
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,399
Speaker 1: out who goes first. Was to odds or evens? Again?

690
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Through he won? Okay, he's the champion. Yeah, I'll go last.

691
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 1: Home field advantage. All right, Easton, you may go first.

692
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: All right, let me get my pens so I can

693
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 1: keep score. E T B. That's your order, Eastern. This

694
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:58,400
Speaker 1: guy visited cemeteries to meet women. His name was ned

695
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 1: Oh was which of the girls data? Which of the

696
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: four women dated him? Uh? That sounds like a I

697
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: don't remember this guy. Um, it sounds like a Charlotte.

698
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: That is a Charlotte. Very nice. Season. That's a point

699
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: for you, Tanya. That's on Jack. There's been a few Jacks, though,

700
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,439
Speaker 1: so don't jump to any conclusions. This one was played

701
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 1: by will Ar Knett. He really liked doing it in

702
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: public and ended up doing it in front of his parents.

703
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: I watched recently. Wait, yeah, I remember they did it

704
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: in front of his parents. I think Charlotte. I'm sorry, No,

705
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 1: it is not Charlotte. Becca, you can steal it now.

706
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: Is Carrie? It is not Carrie, Eastern. It's gonna at

707
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 1: the point has been gift wrapped for you. Who is

708
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: it that would be? I just watched this and I

709
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,720
Speaker 1: can't remember who was the coin flip. Yes, that's Miranda,

710
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: very nice. All right, that's two for Easton. The Next

711
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 1: question is Rebecca this is another Jack. As soon as

712
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 1: they made it official, he suggests a threesome. Carrie. No,

713
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: east Okay, that was Tanya's fault. That's Jack Burger. Jack

714
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: Burger was not a threesome man. He's a post it

715
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: note man. This would be uh, Charlotte. All right, Easton's

716
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: gonna run away with this thing because the next question

717
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: is for him. His name is Aaron. He really liked

718
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: dirty talk, and then she kind of tried the dirty

719
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 1: talk back. It was too much for him, and he

720
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: was out the door. Charlotte. No, Miranda, there you go, Tanya,

721
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 1: You're right back in this game because the next question

722
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: is for you. This is Kevin. He can't perform because

723
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 1: he's on prozac. Charlotte. That is Charlotte. Very nice. Saw

724
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: your brain working there. You were going to Charlotte, you

725
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 1: headed back towards Samantha, went back to Charlotte, and you

726
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 1: were right. Okay. How about Vaughan Beca. He was played

727
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 1: by Justin throw Oh when he was a premature finisher.

728
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I can I picture his face and I'm

729
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: trying to think of who he was. This is so

730
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 1: sad because if I get this wrong, I'm just done again.

731
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: Pretty much pretty much. Okay, I'm gonna go with Miranda. No.

732
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: Eastern for the Steel. Vaughan played by Justin throw a

733
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: premature finisher. I think that was Samantha. No, Tanya, you

734
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,760
Speaker 1: got shot. It is carry very nice, and this game

735
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: is tied. Three for Easton, three for Tanya, and the

736
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: next one is for Easton. His name is Don. He

737
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: will only sleep with her if his favorite sports team wins.

738
00:41:55,600 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: Oh Man, Carrie, No to take the lead, Miranda, No,

739
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: Becca to get on the board. Samantha, it is Samantha,

740
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: very nice, Tania, this one is yours. How about Ted?

741
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:21,760
Speaker 1: He was really into spanking. In fact, she went rooting

742
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: around his home and found movies about spanking. Oh I'm

743
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: uh no, Becca, Miranda, yes, right back. In this game,

744
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: it's three for Easton, three for Tania to Rebecca, and

745
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: the next one's Rebecca. His name's Bram and he fell

746
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: asleep while they were doing it. Samantha, No, alright, Eastern

747
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 1: for the Steel. That's Charlotte. Yeah, that is Charlotte. Very nice. Eastern.

748
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: Eastern takes the lead. All right. The next question is

749
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 1: for Easton. His name was Thomas John. He always had

750
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: to shower immediately after they were done. Uh, Miranda, Yes,

751
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: that's five for Easton. He's pulling away tying. His name

752
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 1: was Adam he Um, how do I phrase this? He

753
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 1: was particularly foul tasting in his discharge. I know, I

754
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: feel like I remember their conversation. Yeah, Miranda, No Becca, Yes,

755
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: Becca and tie. You're now tied at three. That might

756
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: be for second place though, because Easton is a pretty

757
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 1: solid lead right now. All right, this one is Rebecca. Uh.

758
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 1: This His name was Bill. He was running for CD

759
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: comptroller and he wanted her to relieve herself on him. Ah,

760
00:43:55,640 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: this sounds so easy. Charlotte. No, Eastern, that would be

761
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: the main character, Carrie Bradshaw. That's right, and that is

762
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: six for Easton. She was into it, alright, and Eastern.

763
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: We are back around to you again. His name was Stefan.

764
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: He was a pastry chef. Seemed very gay, but apparently

765
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: with straight um. It ended when he freaked out over

766
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 1: a mouse, I believe. Oh yeah, I have to remember,

767
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: like I have to remind myself which girl complained about him.

768
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 1: That's like I always here in my mind, and that's

769
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 1: I think that's Charlotte for this one. That is Charlotte

770
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: for this one. Very nice. That is seven for Easton.

771
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: He's running away with it again, just like last week.

772
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 1: Let's see who comes in second place, Tony, Let's go

773
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: to you with Wade. Wade was nicknamed the Power Lad

774
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 1: and he lived with his parents. No, I'm sorry, that

775
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 1: is not Miranda Easton. Go ahead in the comic bookshop.

776
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: You're in a comic book about this girl. They smoke

777
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: weed together. It's carry Bradshaw. Baby. That's eight for Eastern.

778
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: I don't have any more questions, but this one is

779
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: for I don't even remember this, Rebecca. Thank you. Becca.

780
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: Mike was uncircumcised and he had surgery to change that.

781
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 1: Eastern looks very confident. Tany looks very confused. Charlotte. It

782
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 1: is Charlotte. Very nice. Becca, You are in second place. Easton.

783
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: Who didd the new Yankee? Oh man uh, Samantha. Nope,

784
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,439
Speaker 1: that is Carrie and Tanyan Becker tied it for a piece.

785
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: I have two more here, Tanya, you need this one

786
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: to take second place. Here. His name was Tom and

787
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 1: they met at weight watchers. Oh, Miranda, Miranda, very good. Alright, Becca,

788
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: you can tie for second place if you get this one.

789
00:45:56,560 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 1: His name was Richard. He owned a hotel, Samantha, there

790
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: you go. That's right, and we're tired. Alright, So Eastern

791
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 1: eight and then five at piece for Tania Inbecca once again.

792
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: Eastern is your Sex and the City Expert. Yeah, why

793
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: didn't go eastn you just wait till I get back

794
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: in those episodes. Not season one though, not season one.

795
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: You know, I always watch you guys play these grays

796
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 1: Anatomy games. I haven't seen a single frame of that show,

797
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: and it's just wow, not even anatomy. You know when

798
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: that show is coming back, You're I don't know about

799
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: March fourth, Well why, I don't know, but that is

800
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: a long time from now winter break. I mean it's

801
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: a pretty substantial winter break. You'll be on the spring

802
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: and then how many episodes do we have? Probably through May?

803
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: Probably through May. Yeah, it'll probably it's probably probably abbreviated order,

804
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 1: all things considered. But that is that is a weight, Yeah,

805
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: that is they're really I hope they're doing something powerful.

806
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, go, need to stay on the beach and

807
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: see if I have any more Derek Shepherds spottings. Hopefully

808
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: it's every week from then on, you know, Yeah, I

809
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: do hope so alright, emails, this is an anonymous one.

810
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: I am in my second relationship ever. This is a

811
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 1: female anonymous by the way, I mean my second relationship

812
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: ever just celebrated four years. My girlfriend is older than

813
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 1: me and going through hormonal changes. The smallest things frustrate

814
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,400
Speaker 1: her at times, and her way of venting is yelling.

815
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 1: I'm more of the avoid confrontation, easy going and she's

816
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: the exact opposite. I can understand a little bit of

817
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 1: her anxieties and hormones being a woman myself, but the

818
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 1: yelling and anger is getting to me. Any advice. Just

819
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: this last weekend I was called an effing b um,

820
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: So once again we are not licensed advice givers. But

821
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: I also this is another thing I learned in therapy,

822
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: which is a really eye opening so um, A lot

823
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 1: of times in relationships there's the pursuer and the withdrawer.

824
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 1: I am a withdrawer, so it's hard for me to

825
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 1: even be in the confrontation or the argument alone, much

826
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: less act like participate in the fight. So when if

827
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,800
Speaker 1: we're in a relationship and I'm calm and like willing

828
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 1: to have the confrontation and then the other person's yelling,

829
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: I withdraw even more, and it makes me not even

830
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: want to have the conversations in communication because I'm already

831
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: just my like fight or flight kicks in and I'm like, Okay,

832
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: now we're yelling, and I don't want to even have

833
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: this conversation because now I'm mad. So I had to

834
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 1: have the conversation of saying like, if I'm going to

835
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 1: enter this, if I'm gonna if you're asking me to

836
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 1: communicate and I'm going to be in the conflict and

837
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: conference pation, which already makes me want to run, then

838
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: you have to speak with like like a voice that's

839
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: a level and not scream at me, because I'm going

840
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: to go the opposite way even more so, So I

841
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 1: would just have a conversation and say, hey, I'm here

842
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: for you. I know you're going through stuff. As a woman,

843
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: I totally relate to hormones and what's going on, But

844
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: as your partner, I need you to respect our conversations

845
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 1: and the fact that we're having this conversation and that

846
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: I'm standing here, you know, willing to listen and help

847
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: where I can, but you yelling at me does not

848
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 1: help the situation. And I think her being aware of

849
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: that is enough to hopefully make things better moving forward. Yet,

850
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm gonna be totally honest, I don't even

851
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: think that's a relationship that I could be in. So

852
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 1: I can't really give good advice because even me and

853
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm not saying obviously I have confrontation

854
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 1: and I fight with people, it's I'm not you know,

855
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, we've gotten fights before, but

856
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 1: I'm not. I've never once been like the yeller, screamer,

857
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: curseworder person like, It's just not me at all, and

858
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 1: I've never had a partner that's been that way, and

859
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't think I could handle it, so honestly for

860
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,320
Speaker 1: me if it, if it ever happened in the beginning

861
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: of a relationship, I feel like i'd be out. Yeah,

862
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, I think every relationship is different.

863
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 1: Like I know people who are get into like screaming

864
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: fights with each other and they're perfectly happily married, so

865
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: like it can work for me personally, I don't think

866
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: it could. I don't handle cursing either, especially when it's

867
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 1: being yelled at me and directed towards me, So I

868
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: actually would not do well in this particular relationship either

869
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: because the first time I was called an effing b

870
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 1: would be a door in the face for the other person.

871
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 1: But I think in the heat of the moment, when

872
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: you're if there, if how they handle fights is her

873
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: one person yelling in the other person taking it without

874
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,959
Speaker 1: communicating that that's a problem. It continues to happen because

875
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 1: it's not put to stay like I'm a soft flower.

876
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 1: I just cry, like cry, Yeah, I don't want I

877
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:12,240
Speaker 1: do not like names being yelled. I don't like yelling,

878
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: and I really don't like curse words being yelled. So

879
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: I would say I would have a conversation and because

880
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 1: that at that point is just disrespectful, totally not even

881
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: being able to communicate in a way where you're able

882
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: to be gentle and have a respectful conversation with each

883
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: other even when you're mad. You should at least be

884
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: able to either walk away and say I need I

885
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,240
Speaker 1: always say like I need to I need a minute

886
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 1: to think about this and process before I can say

887
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 1: what you're needing to hear from me. And so even

888
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: if you have to do that, but I would communicate

889
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: that that's not okay, because it's not. Yeah, there's so

890
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: much missing from this email, like I don't really understand,

891
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: Like I'm in my second relationship ever, Okay, but I

892
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 1: don't like that implies you're younger, but my girlfriend's older

893
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 1: than me and going through her mortal changes. What is

894
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 1: that menopause? Like, I have no idea what we're talking

895
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 1: about here. We've been together four years. Does she apologize

896
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: after these profane rants? Because if she does, I'd give

897
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: her a little bit more leeway than if she actually

898
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 1: everything's fine, Then that's different. I don't. I think there's

899
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: a major red flag. And if it's only your second

900
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 1: relationship ever, you're probably not really um, I haven't really

901
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 1: honed in on exactly what works for you and what

902
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 1: But also the four years is what, yeah, I'll and

903
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 1: what makes me. I hope that even though I totally

904
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 1: disagree with how she handles with the yelling and the

905
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,919
Speaker 1: name calling, I hope that once she cools off, she's

906
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 1: able to go I'm I'm sorry for that. I don't

907
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: know what's going on with me. I just spew these words.

908
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: But because she's writing into us asking how to handle it,

909
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: part of me thinks that maybe it just happens again

910
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: and again with no remorse or apology, and she I

911
00:52:56,200 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: feel like our anonymous writers is like warmed Own right

912
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 1: now in four years. If you're dealing with that consistently,

913
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: that's exhausting and draining. I agree al right. Next emails

914
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: from Danielle. I'm one of the luckiest people in the

915
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: world that my mother in law and my father in

916
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: law are the best people around, and I cannot get

917
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 1: enough of them. The problem is my brother in law.

918
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,800
Speaker 1: I've been with my husband for ten years. In the

919
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 1: entire time, my brother in law has sponged off and

920
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:28,760
Speaker 1: lived with my husband's parents. He's now thirty five for reference.

921
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 1: My question is, at what point do we sit down

922
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 1: my in laws and tell them he's taking advantage of

923
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 1: them and they are enabling him. My husband is on

924
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 1: board with discussing this with his parents, and he would

925
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,439
Speaker 1: be the one talking to them as it's not really

926
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 1: my place, like my I mean, my opinion, isn't you

927
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 1: don't I agree completely? Yeah, Like, that's not your place.

928
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: If he's taking advantage of his parents, they're his parents,

929
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 1: Like I would just stay out of it really as

930
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 1: a even as her husband who is their son. But

931
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 1: what's it to them? He's living with his parents if

932
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: they're like if, I mean, that's just like anyone living.

933
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 1: Like when my sisters were living with me and I was,

934
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I need them to fly away, fly

935
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 1: the fleet? What is it flying flee the anyways? When

936
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: I was like I they were, it was it's hard

937
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 1: to motivate yourself and do anything unless you're forced to

938
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: do it. And because his parents aren't doing that, then

939
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: they're enabling him to stay put. So even as a parent,

940
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 1: have I don't, I mean, I don't know, Mark, you

941
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: think they don't say anything. I look, I do think

942
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,439
Speaker 1: they're probably enabling him and that kicking him out would

943
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: be the best thing for him. But I all think

944
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 1: that's between the parents and the brother. I don't think

945
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: it's any of your concerns. If my sister, I'm a

946
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,320
Speaker 1: younger sister, if she was to live with my parents

947
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: at forty years old, all right, whatever, you know, if

948
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 1: are you happy? Are you mom and dad happy? Are

949
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:08,320
Speaker 1: you looking after him? Are they looking after you? I

950
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: don't care, but you would check in with him and

951
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 1: say are you happy with him being here or with

952
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: her being here? You would at least do that. Yeah, probably,

953
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 1: Well that's maybe that's all. It is them checking in

954
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: with the because the parents. If the parents say, hey,

955
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 1: we like having him here and it makes you know,

956
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 1: it makes us feel happy to have one of our

957
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 1: children here, then yeah, you can move on. But I

958
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: think checking in and saying because maybe they they feel

959
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: guilt if they kick him out, that you know they're

960
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: gonna send him into a bad place or whatever it is.

961
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: But I think having the support of another child checking

962
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 1: in and saying like, hey, y'll happy with this? Is

963
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 1: this good? Do you want me to talk to him? Like?

964
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: Can I help in any way if the situation? That's

965
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 1: a good angle. That's to do it as not saying hey,

966
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:00,800
Speaker 1: this is screwed up in a long but saying it

967
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 1: as hey, do you need my help? Here? Is everything cool?

968
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 1: Is this what you guys want? I think that works.

969
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 1: I say, stay, I would I will say something if

970
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: this were my so I'm like, I feel differently, but

971
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 1: I do see doing it in a way that's more so, Hey,

972
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 1: is there anything I can do if y'all are un

973
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: happy with this? I can talk to him if you're

974
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 1: uncomfortable doing it, and just see where his head's at.

975
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: But maybe not making it so much like a sit down,

976
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: and hey, you need to kick him out because that's

977
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 1: just going to cause a riff somewhere, all right, So

978
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 1: two angles there, Take whichever one you like. Becca's got

979
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: a more aggressive approach chany and I say, let it

980
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 1: play out the way it plays out. But what if

981
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 1: it never plays out? And peace at night? But if

982
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 1: they don't have peace? Who her parents, his parents, then

983
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 1: they can if their parents aren't a piece because of it,

984
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 1: they can come to you. Let them come to you.

985
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 1: You don't need to be mother hending everybody. I do

986
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: do that. I have control issues. I do. I do

987
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: not well. I'm shocked by that result. I'm shocked by that.

988
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 1: Eastern Do you have an opinion on that. I'm sorry,

989
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I was. I was photo shopping something. I

990
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: wasn't paying my clos attention. He was photo shopping his

991
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: head on Pantha's body, something I do during the show

992
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: pretty often. Wait, we should totally photoshop ourselves onto their bodies.

993
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 1: You check your phone already? Did I did all of this?

994
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: This makes me so happy. Oh my god. Aside from

995
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: my head being super large on the body, it's pretty good.

996
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 1: It's pretty pretty good too. Mark Yere's is pretty good.

997
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: Easton's is the worst for sure because of the hair

998
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: coming off the back. Good about mine, I felt gonna hilarious. Wow, uh,

999
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 1: I can't wait to post that. We'll post that in

1000
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: the scrubbing in group. Um before we go. We are

1001
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: having a Gallantines virtual event, and if you've been to

1002
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: any of our live shows, they are fu in f

1003
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: u and actually, I oh, I didn't. I didn't show

1004
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 1: you them, but we got really cute scrubbing in um glasses.

1005
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: Because we're gonna be d drinking, we made um custom drinks. Well,

1006
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't make them. They're like drinks that you could get

1007
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 1: at a bar anywhere. But we're gonna make one that's

1008
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: my drink, and one is going to be Becca's drink

1009
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 1: that you guys can make at home and drink with us. Yeah,

1010
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 1: mine will be a little more complicated. I went with

1011
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 1: a more like festive. Tania went with the standard spine tingler. Yeah,

1012
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 1: mine's gonna be basically straight tequila literally chills. Um. Anyways,

1013
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people have strong feelings about

1014
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, So whether you love it or hate it,

1015
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 1: it is happening and we're going to make it fun.

1016
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: So whether you're like I'm single, I don't want to celebrate,

1017
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 1: or you're like this holiday so overrated. Whatever your feelings are,

1018
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: push them to the side because it's going to be

1019
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 1: a par day. I can't tell you something like I

1020
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: love Valentine's Day. I've always loved Valentine's Day, and I've

1021
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 1: had many a single Valentine's Days. It's just like a

1022
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: day for love, and you have so much even if

1023
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: you're single, you have so much love in your life.

1024
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: So do it and celebrate. You know. Actually, my neighbor

1025
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 1: and I were thinking about making Valentine's for some of

1026
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: our We have new neighbors in our apartment complex, and

1027
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 1: they're like cute and young and um, so we wanted

1028
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: to make, you know, little Valentine's. Maybe they're like a

1029
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 1: bottle of wine and some candies. Um. But yeah, I

1030
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: just think it's a fun holiday. It's all about love,

1031
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: and who doesn't love Love, Love and peace and hope. Yeah,

1032
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: love and peace. Well, there's some scripture for you right there, baby.

1033
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 1: It's on February tenth. It'll be at five pm Pacific time,

1034
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: so you can that would be eight pm Eastern and

1035
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 1: so you can get your tickets now on location live

1036
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 1: dot com slash scrubbing in. It is going to be

1037
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 1: a blast. We're gonna be drinking. You're gonna be drinking.

1038
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 1: We'll probably have some fun. Guest, it's gonna be a

1039
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 1: good time. UM, so keep you posted as we book

1040
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: that out, but marketing your calendars and here we go

1041
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 1: and here we go. Um, well, on that note, it

1042
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: has been a blast per usual. We love you guys

1043
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you for always, um you know, lifting

1044
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 1: us up when we are going through struggles or hard times.

1045
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 1: Like some of y'all's messages to both of us, I

1046
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 1: think we're really uplifting and especially for Tanya during this time.

1047
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 1: So thank you always for posting in the Facebook group,

1048
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 1: sending messages however you do it. We appreciate y'all. And um,

1049
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: I hope that you have a wonderful week. Yeah, and

1050
01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 1: I just do want to say too, because um, I

1051
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 1: am really good right now. But I just want anybody

1052
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: to know because like I got a lot of messages

1053
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,040
Speaker 1: from girls saying that you know, they went through a

1054
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 1: break up, they couldn't get out of bed for two

1055
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 1: months and they didn't haven't stopped crying in six months.

1056
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 1: And you know, whatever your journey is and however you're feeling,

1057
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 1: it's your own, and that's okay, you know, And like

1058
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: I think that when this happened, I was I didn't

1059
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 1: have to do the podcast, I didn't have the morning show.

1060
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,880
Speaker 1: I kind of just tucked away for two weeks and

1061
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: cried for the majority of those two weeks. So it's like,

1062
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 1: you know, I just I don't know. I'm I don't know.

1063
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 1: So whatever your journey is and whatever you're going through,

1064
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:41,840
Speaker 1: just know that, like that's your own. Um, it's healthy

1065
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 1: to feel, it's healthy to feel. Yeah, And on that note,

1066
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 1: ride or days are head baby, the sun goes down

1067
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: and guess what, it comes right back up. Storms may

1068
01:01:57,160 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: last for a day or two, but they never laugh forever.

1069
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: That all came together so nicely, Thank you very much.

1070
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 1: It felt like you were winging it, but it then

1071
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 1: at the end it felt planned, fully executed. Storms they

1072
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: don't last. They just don't. They just don't. They don't.

1073
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: I love a storm, though, so let yourself feel, let

1074
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 1: yourself love. I hate storms. I like smooth waters, I

1075
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 1: like sunny skies, So the storms are hard for me.

1076
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 1: That's okay. The sun comes up. It's sure sea does.

1077
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 1: It's so good. Um all right, well we love you guys,

1078
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 1: Love you next Funday. Have a great week.