1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy. I'm Cat and I am as always 3 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: so glad that you are here. I hope you guys 4 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: had a wonderful weekend and enjoyed the holiday, the holiday 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: being Thanksgiving as much as you could. This year. I 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: know it was different. It was weird for a lot 7 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: of people, but we got through it and we're here. 8 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: And I want to give a quick shout out to 9 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: anyone who was a new listener or first time listener. Hello, 10 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: nice to meet you, but I'm really not meeting you, 11 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 1: but you know what I mean. Anyway, I wanted to 12 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: remind everyone, including those people especially um, that you can 13 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: connect with me in the podcast online on Instagram. I 14 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: am at at Cat dot de fata and you can 15 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: follow the podcast at at you Need Therapy Podcast on Instagram. Also, 16 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: we have something called the Self Love Club and you 17 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: can join that by heading to You Need Therapy podcast 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: dot com. That is a group of people who I 19 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: send a special message out to every single week. And 20 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: if you head to the website, you also will be 21 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: able to see the store and shop a cute march 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: we have. I know everybody's looking for presents for holidays 23 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: this year, we have some really cute T shirts, mugs, pins, stickers, 24 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: really great stocking stuffers. So head there and check that out. 25 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: We would love that. Now to the good stuff, to 26 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: the juicy stuff. Oh my gosh, we have done it. 27 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: We finally are here after I mean literally, next week 28 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: will be a year of the podcast. We have an 29 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: episode on the Angiogram. And clearly this has been one 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: of the most requested things that you guys have asked for, 31 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: and I have been waiting for not just the right time, 32 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: but really the right person to do this with. And 33 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: you're gonna get really excited because this is a secret, 34 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: but not really a secret, because I'm telling you you're 35 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: about to get two episodes on the Angiogram pretty soon. 36 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: So this is a first one. And I'm so excited, 37 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna make the shortest I can because i 38 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: want to jump into the stuff because the episode is 39 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: so good. But I have a therapist named Katie Guests 40 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: of the Sun, and she is going to take us 41 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: through today the basics of what the Instagram really is. 42 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: What is this thing that people keep talking about, why 43 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: do we like it? What even is a personality test? 44 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: Which we talk about what even as a personality, and 45 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: then we go through the basics of each of the types. 46 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's so good. Now, let me tell 47 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,679 Speaker 1: you a little about Katie. She's not only an extremely 48 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: kind and warm person, she's so easy to talk to. 49 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: She also really knows what she's talking about. Side note, 50 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: I texted my friend who connected us in the beginning 51 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: afterwards and I was like, oh my god, I wish 52 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: she could be my therapist. She's awesome. She truly is. 53 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: So she's not just a licensed therapist. She also has 54 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: an Instagram coach like. She has studied and has been 55 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: trained in how to use the Instagram as a tool effectively, 56 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: which I really value you. This isn't just somebody who 57 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: knows a lot about the Intiagram. I know a lot 58 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: about the Instagram, but I am, by no means a coach. 59 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: She offers online coaching f y I. If you really 60 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: find yourself connecting to all of the things that we 61 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: talked about today and you want to dive deeper into 62 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: that stuff and your story, do not hesitate to connect 63 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: with Katie. You can find her on Instagram at Katie 64 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: dot gust off Ason dot co I will put that 65 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: in the description and then online at Katie gust Offerson 66 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: dot co. Also, I want to mention that we talked 67 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: about some tests that she recommends as starting points if 68 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: you're trying to figure out where you might land on 69 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: this personality journey. I've linked those in the description as well. Anyway, 70 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: I hope you love this episode as much as I did, 71 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: and UM let me know if you did share it. 72 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: Tag us. We want to we want to connect with you, 73 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: and I will see all of you guys hopefully on 74 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: Wednesday for couch Talks. Here's my conversation about the Intagram 75 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: with Katie. All Right, we have a very exciting episode 76 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: today I have I'm going to call her Katie G 77 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: because I just went through a tutorial about to say 78 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: your last name and it's very challenging. But she is 79 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: a therapist in town and I know her through a 80 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: couple humans that have seen her and people that work 81 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: with her. And it's about time we do an episode 82 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 1: on the inniogram. So welcome and thank you for being here. 83 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: You're so welcome. Thank you for happy Yeah, and we 84 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: are going to do we'll do an overview of like 85 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: what is the Instagram because a lot of people have 86 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: no idea what this is. They've heard it a lot, 87 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: it sounds very trendy. They might have read an Instagram 88 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: post or maybe part of a book on it, but 89 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 1: not really sure what it is. So we're going to 90 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: tell you, guys, what it is, and then we're going 91 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: to go through all nine types and give you like 92 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: a snapshot overview of each one before we get started. Though, 93 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: I did get a lot of questions, and I have 94 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: my own opinion, But for you, what is the best 95 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: way for people that start getting getting into this, what's 96 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: the best way for them to figure out their type? 97 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: Is it listening to stuff like this? Is it reading? 98 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: Is it taking a test? Such a good question. There's 99 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: a lot of differing ideas. I found out about the 100 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: Instagram before there were online tests, and so I've read 101 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: books and that was the most helpful for me. Now 102 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: we live, I mean, we live in an angiogram saturated 103 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: world and there's so many more resources. I like to 104 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: say that, you know, there are a few online indicators 105 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: that I think are very helpful, and maybe we could 106 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: link those in the show notes. I'm not sure it 107 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: is a possibility, but what I like to say is 108 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 1: that online tests are a great place to jump off 109 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 1: and they they're helpful because they can identify your top 110 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: two or three types, and then from there you can 111 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: do your own self study and read up on those types. 112 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: And I actually do typing interviews with people, so it's 113 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: a really great way to to know your type. But 114 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: if you don't have access to like a typing interview 115 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: or an inniogram code, which there's just so many great 116 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: books that you can kind of figure out your top 117 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: two or three and then spend some time just kind 118 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: of living into the types through your own self steady, 119 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: go into a workshop. There's so many online resources. I'm 120 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: happy to be a resource and to triage any questions, 121 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: but I like to send people to a couple of 122 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: online tests as a jumping off point and then encourage 123 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 1: people to either read a book, go to a workshop, 124 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 1: or do a typing interview with a coach, so we 125 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 1: can give everybody some info on what those are, and 126 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 1: then obviously we'll give some contact info for you. But 127 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: some people still are probably like, what is what are 128 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: you talking about? How do you describe what the instagram is? 129 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: I think before we get into Instagram, we kind of 130 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: need to understand what personality is. So personality is actually 131 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: derived from the Greek word persona, which means mask. And 132 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 1: I love this visual because it really it helps us 133 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: understand just how much actually wear our personalities as a mask. 134 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: That is very helpful in terms of protecting us and 135 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: helping us show up in the world and a favorable light. 136 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: So our personalities are made up of a constellation of 137 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: innate qualities, coping strategies, defense mechanisms, reflexes and affects that 138 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: really do protect us from possible harm or rejections in childhood. Right, 139 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: so they also allow us to show up in a 140 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: favorable light for our coaches, and our teachers and our friends, 141 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: you know, all the people that are important to us. 142 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: So our personalities are powerful survival strategy, and human beings 143 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: are expert in survival. I mean you know this. Over time, though, 144 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: our our personalities really become the story that we live 145 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: out of. Right, It's a story that we've gotten memorized 146 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: and that we live out of really habitually automatically, so 147 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: much so that other people kind of expect to encounter 148 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: our personality when they encounter you know, you've you've been 149 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: in a group of people, or you've come into contact 150 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: with someone and then after she leaves, you've said turned 151 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: to another friend and said, hey, what was going on 152 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: with her? She didn't seem like herself. Yes, which I 153 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: feel that deeply. I might be going too far, but 154 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: I feel that deeply as a seven is I have 155 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 1: an expectation to always show up very on, and so 156 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 1: if I'm not all over the place, it's like something's 157 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: wrong with me, when really it's like, no, I'm just tired. 158 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's the expectation people have that I'm going 159 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 1: to be something before I'm even at the event. Absolutely, 160 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 1: we memorized people's personality and we have ours memorized as well. 161 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: It's so true. Yeah, you as a seven are supposed 162 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: to bring the juice right that people know this about you, 163 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 1: part of your superpower. So as we mature and become adults, 164 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,559 Speaker 1: obviously life gets a lot more complicated and this personality 165 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: that we really innocently gravitated to in childhood is no 166 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: longer needed in the same way. Right, we don't need 167 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: our personalities in the same way that we once did 168 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: for survival. We just did an episode on Family Systems 169 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: and we talked about the family roles, and this is 170 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: so much I'm obviously just going to keep talking about 171 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: myself because that's what I can relate to. But so 172 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: I was a mascot through growing up in my family 173 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,839 Speaker 1: and it was great and it helped me survive. That 174 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: helped me get my needs met and all of that. 175 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: And now you're this matches up with what you're saying 176 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: is this helps me survive. Now I'm not in that 177 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: same system, but I'm still playing that role and I 178 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: don't need that role as much. Yeah, beautifully said, that's it. 179 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: You're like putting so much skin on all of this content, 180 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 1: which is awesome. That's exactly it. When we grow into 181 00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: early adulthood all the sudden, you know, our personalities don't 182 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: just go on strike or disappear, right, they keep growing, 183 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: They keep evolving with these expanded needs that we have 184 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: an adulthood, and so our personalities kind of start working 185 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: over time in order to facilitate these new complexities that 186 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: we're facing an adulthood and beyond. And so the problem 187 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 1: is these personalities or these kind of protective mechanisms become 188 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: safety hazards, right when we no longer differentiate between who 189 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: we are as a person, you know, the unconditioned, true 190 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: essential self and our overgrown personalities. You know, this is 191 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: when we kind of start waking up and wondering who 192 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: the hell am I? Like, I don't even know who 193 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: I am anymore. And that's when people pick up the 194 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: fun They call you and they go sit on your 195 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: and you know, some kind of melt down, some kind 196 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: of crisis, existential crisis us or or or some loss 197 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: kind of pushes them over the edge and they all 198 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: of a sudden they need to rediscover the truth of 199 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: who they are because we've become so attached to the personality. 200 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: So I just like to kind of te up the Angiograham, 201 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: I really understanding what our personality is. Our personality are 202 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: not bad. They're so helpful, they're so beneficial, and we 203 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: were brilliant as children to kind of gravitate towards these personalities. 204 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: The thing is children are incredibly creative storytellers. They're just 205 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: really crappy interpreters, right, So we make up this personality 206 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: story when we're young, and oftentimes Carot, we don't edit 207 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: that story until well into our adulthood, which is the 208 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: like meat of what most people are doing in a 209 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: therapy office is they're going back and looking at what 210 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: is the story that I wrote and now like, what's 211 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: actually the real story now that I can take a 212 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: step back from this. Attachment is very similar in that 213 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: as the way we're relating to the world, we make 214 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: up all these stories and that helps us develop how 215 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: we attached to people and that there's that's very connected 216 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: to personality. And so in my office, if you've worked 217 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: with me, you have heard most of this content in 218 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: the lens of attachment and your style that way, and 219 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: we're giving you more detailed language to look at those stories. 220 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,839 Speaker 1: Not necessarily to this is my my understanding understanding your 221 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: angiogram type in your personality isn't to change it. We don't. 222 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: It's not the goal is to change it. But it 223 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: gives you contacts of why am I doing that? What 224 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: is the need here that I'm trying to go after? 225 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: What am I protecting myself from? Do I still need 226 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: to do that? And so I can show up way 227 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: more authentically rather in this survival mode to get my 228 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: needs met. It's it's spun on. Yeah, that's you know 229 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: the nature of transformation. Basically, every spiritual teacher throughout history 230 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: has had pretty much the same message, and it's to 231 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,719 Speaker 1: wake up. That is the invitation. That's the spiritual invitation, 232 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: that is the spiritual journey. Is to go from the 233 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: unreal to the real. That's the appeal. And and so 234 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: it's exactly what's happening transformation. At the heart of transformation 235 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: is narrative. Is us holding up, like you said, holding 236 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: up our personality story and asking ourselves, how's this working 237 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: for me? And the beauty of being a human being 238 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: is that we have agency to change our stories. I 239 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: want you to repeat that because that's the biggest thing 240 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: that people I think they see, Oh, this is my story, 241 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm stuck with this, and we don't 242 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: have to stick stick with it, and that sentence, we 243 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 1: have agency to change our story once we realize the truth. 244 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: We don't have to live in a false reality or 245 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 1: something that we've made up to help us survive anymore. 246 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: We have the ability to change. So what do you 247 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: like then, about using the angiogram versus There's a lot 248 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: ways to look at your personality. And when I was 249 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 1: in grad school, which wasn't that long ago, we didn't 250 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 1: talk one bit about the anagram. We talked about Myers Briggs. 251 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 1: We ought to take that test, but it wasn't even mentioned, 252 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: so not that it wasn't around. So what do you 253 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: like about it? And why do you think it's become 254 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: so huge? That is the deal, right, I mean the angiogram. 255 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: So let me tell you what the what the angiogram is. 256 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: We've just kind of teed it up by talking about personality. 257 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: So in essence, the angiogram is this kind of a 258 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: lot of people stay it's ancient. It's actually, I mean, 259 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: there are clues of the angiogram that date back to 260 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: the fourth century as a beautiful kind of archetypal map um, 261 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: if you will. Now, the modern angiogram of personality really 262 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: has just gotten more momentum starting back in like the 263 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: nineteen seventies. The angiogram that we use with the nine 264 00:14:55,400 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: types is fairly new. It's a holistic personality and character 265 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: typing system that's used to deepen self awareness and understanding. 266 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: And I want to break that down for you. Basically, 267 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: again personality being derived from that Greek word meaning mask. 268 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: The personality basically is more on the surface. So when 269 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: you took the Myers Briggs that is really diving into 270 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: more surface level behavior, kind of the objects of who 271 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: we are on the surface. The character structure of each type, however, 272 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: goes deeper than personality. The character structure basically unpacked the 273 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: why behind how we think, feel, an act. So that 274 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: is why, to answer your question, the angiogram of personality 275 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: is a powerful tool that I love to use in 276 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: therapy because our lives and are the agency that we 277 00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: have to change. Our story has to be supported by 278 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: an understanding of our story, and the angiogram provides that. 279 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: Myers Briggs, which I think is a great tool. I 280 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 1: love strength finders, I love disk all of those are 281 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: really powerful, but they don't go beneath personality to this 282 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: underlying character structure that talks about motivations, that talks about 283 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: just the why behind who we are. So that's a 284 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: powerful complexity that the angiogram provides. And and and if 285 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: you look at the angiogram, it's actually a diagram of 286 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: nine points and it can be used literally in therapy 287 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: if we if we learn how to use it properly 288 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 1: as a roadmap to help us get unstuck. Essentially, I 289 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: love this quote. It's a Michelangelo quote, and it says 290 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: the sculpture is already complete within the marble block before 291 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: I start my work, already there, I just the chisel 292 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: away the superfluous material. So and that's so good to me. 293 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 1: That quote is all about becoming our truest selves. Right, 294 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 1: Everything we need we've got. That's why what you said 295 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 1: about deleting and replacing our personality, we're not trying to 296 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: do that. We're trying to enhance what's already there. We're 297 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: trying to connect in a very intimate way to what's 298 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: already there. You know, we were born into this world 299 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:37,880 Speaker 1: as loving, curious beings. We were born into this world 300 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: without fear. The fear part we learned. So we have 301 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: to kind of get back to our true nature, not 302 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,199 Speaker 1: by changing who we are, but by learning about and 303 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 1: harnessing the truest version of ourselves. And I believe that 304 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: the indiogram is the most powerful tool we have to 305 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: do that. And I think in all of what you 306 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 1: just said, what I'm hearing a lot of is the 307 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 1: instagram is a tool, when used correctly, helps us come 308 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: back home. Like come back home. It's like we've lost 309 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 1: our way or I don't know, we took a turn 310 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: that we whatever but it helps us come back home. 311 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 1: It doesn't change us. It just helped brings us back 312 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,199 Speaker 1: to who we are. Yes, that is it? So what 313 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,719 Speaker 1: you wouldn't want to do that? I want to know, 314 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 1: you know, I know. And and again like a lot 315 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: of people misuse this tool. You know, a lot of 316 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: people misuse it and it becomes very annoying. Yeah, I mean, 317 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: I will say I there's I used to follow a 318 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: lot of accounts and I've unfollowed them, not because I'm 319 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: not interested in the Instagram, but I'm like, well, first 320 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: of all, this isn't that doesn't describe me at all 321 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: as a seven. And now I almost have like, well 322 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: I'm not a good enough set. But then it's like, well, 323 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: why are we doing this? Because is it to be like, oh, 324 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: I know you your seven, I know you? Or is 325 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: it to like it's not used to understand deeper, it's 326 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: like to assume almost Is that how you've been seeing it? Yeah, 327 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: there's a whole kind of ethics. I mean, that's a 328 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 1: whole Another podcast conversation is the ethics around the angiogram. 329 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,120 Speaker 1: There is a way to use this and honor it 330 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: when it's used for height and to indulge our type disease. 331 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: That is, and we abuse it. Yeah, I like the word. 332 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, when we and we when we 333 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: use it to indulge our type tendency, that is when 334 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,120 Speaker 1: it becomes abusive and misused. So I just want to apologize, 335 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:40,120 Speaker 1: blanket public service announcement apology. If you have encountered this 336 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: tool and it's been misused and you've really been turned off, 337 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: I do apologize. I hope you'll give it another chance, 338 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 1: because you know, at the heart of self love, before 339 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: we love anything or anyone, we have to understand who 340 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: they are. Before we can love ourselves. We have to 341 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: learn how to understand ourselves. And I just believe that 342 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: the instagram is the most powerful tool we have to 343 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 1: help us understand and develop more compassion for ourselves and others. 344 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: And in light of that, the angiogram teaching basically says 345 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,439 Speaker 1: that there are nine core types of personality, one of 346 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,959 Speaker 1: which we gravitated to early in childhood. That's not just 347 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: to say that there are only nine types of people 348 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: in the world. You are a human being before your 349 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 1: your angiogram type. This is just again, it's a helpful 350 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: indicator that helps you navigate this is interesting. Like what 351 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: you said about going home to the truth of who 352 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,880 Speaker 1: you are, I think is so brilliant. I think it's 353 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: so true. I like to call it a personalized roadmap 354 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: for soulful self awareness and development. You know, it's really 355 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 1: about getting unstuck. It's really about getting out of our 356 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: own way. It's about going home to the truth of 357 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: who you are. So yes, I love you kind of 358 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: drew that out. It's so true for the people that are. 359 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you could be a veteran in this or 360 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: think you're a veteran, or your brand new to this. 361 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,959 Speaker 1: Now that we know what it is, okay, So I'm 362 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: gonna go dart out taking some tests online, get some 363 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,879 Speaker 1: a couple like core numbers that might be kind of 364 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,679 Speaker 1: what I gravitate towards when they're doing this. Because what 365 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 1: my understanding when I first started this journey figuring out 366 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: my own type, I was told to look at it, 367 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 1: look at the traits and all the things. Not you now, 368 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: but you. I think it was like before you were 369 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: like twenty four or something. I might have made that up. 370 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: Is that true version of you? Where is he supposed 371 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: to be thinking of that? You know again, I think 372 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: people kind of tend to over complicate it. It's true, 373 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: if you're on offense about a question that you're answering 374 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 1: on some type of person online test and you don't 375 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: know which one is true, they say to go back 376 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: to when you're around twenty two years old, because that's 377 00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 1: when your personality is most kind of florid, most vibrant, 378 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: if you will. That's when our personalities are really really 379 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: in action. But you know, I like to say most 380 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: of the good tests out there, they have enough questions 381 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 1: on them to kind of weed through what you are 382 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,719 Speaker 1: and what you're not. But I think that is a 383 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 1: good rule rule of them. You know, if you're just 384 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: offense about a question, you're like, gosh, do I do this? 385 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,920 Speaker 1: Or do I do this? You know, a good rule 386 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: of them is to go back to your early twenties 387 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 1: and what would you do? Then that's kind of a 388 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: good litmus test for what the right answer is. The 389 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: angiogram against suggests that there's nine types nine nine personality types, 390 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: and those nine types of personalities are divided into three triads, 391 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 1: and the three triads are based in our centers of intelligence. 392 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 1: So the angiogram again recognizes that there's three centers of intelligence, 393 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: the mind, the heart, and the body, and they're equally 394 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 1: as important in terms of understanding the way we work 395 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: and understanding the world. And this is spelled out for 396 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 1: all the intiogrant types. If you are an eight and 397 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: nine and a one, you live in the body or 398 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:18,399 Speaker 1: instinctual center of intelligence. If you are a two, three, 399 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,199 Speaker 1: and a four you live in the feelings or the 400 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: heart triad or center of intelligence. And then if you're five, 401 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 1: six and seven you are in the head or mental 402 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: center of intelligence. So we're going to run through kind 403 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: of what those are, what's the breakdown, why are they important, 404 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,440 Speaker 1: and then we'll dive into tight and through nine. So 405 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 1: Western science in medicine has really really elevated one center 406 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 1: of intelligence, which is our thinking center of intelligence, of 407 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 1: the other two. And this goes all the way back 408 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 1: to kind of Descartes. I think therefore, I am this 409 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 1: kind of inability to separate our humanity from our heads 410 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: center of intelligence. That's that was the elevated and it 411 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: really has been ever since center of intelligence. Yet so 412 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: many ancient traditions the angiogram included talk about three centers 413 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,440 Speaker 1: of intelligence. Of course, the the head center of intelligence, 414 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,640 Speaker 1: but the body and the heart center of intelligence, and 415 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 1: modern medicine is finally catching up to this ancient wisdom 416 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 1: as they've found neural cells basically in the linings of 417 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: our stomachs and our hearts, So we have brain cells 418 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: in our brain but also in our heart and in 419 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,879 Speaker 1: our guts. And that cool. It excites me so much 420 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: that kind of western psychology and medicine we're catching up 421 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 1: to this ancient wisdom that really honors the body center 422 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: of intelligence as wisdom and the emotional center of intelligence 423 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: as widom as well. So it's it's so cool because 424 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: the angiogram t is that basically part of self development 425 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: and self understanding is to understand what center of intelligence 426 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:13,199 Speaker 1: you operate from and how to balance out your relationship 427 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,360 Speaker 1: with all three centers. And one's not better than the other, right, 428 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,439 Speaker 1: and one's what I like is that one is not 429 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,399 Speaker 1: better than the other. There's three and they're equal. You 430 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: just lean towards one more than others. Absolutely, So as 431 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: a four, I very much experience the world through my 432 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 1: heart center of intelligence. You know, my feelings have feelings. 433 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,040 Speaker 1: I can feel something at the drop of a hat, 434 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: right that tends to be where I'm out of balance, 435 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: and so the goal is not to turn down that 436 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: emotional center, it's to dial up the other two. So 437 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: I need to connect more to the analytical skills and 438 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: the fact checking, the logical part of your brain, logical 439 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: part of my brain, as as well as connecting to 440 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: the grounded center of intelligence with the instinctual center, So 441 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 1: getting into my body, getting into my kind of thinking 442 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: mind a little bit more. I can't feel my way 443 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: to a deadline right right, So I got to enlist 444 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:17,199 Speaker 1: these other two tryads or centers of intelligence. You know, 445 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: Helen Palmer, who is one of the founders of the 446 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: Narrative Indiogram school that I did much training at. She 447 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: likes to say that body types need to get more 448 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 1: into their hearts, heart types need to get more into 449 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 1: their heads, and head types need to get more into 450 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 1: their bodies. So it's probably a little bit oversimplified, but 451 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: it's I think it's a really great place to start 452 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,160 Speaker 1: in terms of actually using the innogram for application. I've 453 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 1: never heard somebody describe stuff. Maybe I just haven't heard 454 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 1: it that way, but in the sense that this isn't 455 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: just to say that like you are a body type 456 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 1: or you are this it's to say this is where 457 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: you lean the most, and you need more of the others. 458 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: I've always heard it as almost not a death sentence, 459 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: but kind of like this is you. You're in the 460 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: heart triad, so this is how you are, rather than 461 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,640 Speaker 1: I just want you to know you're in the heart triad, 462 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: because that's a clue to tell you you're good on 463 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,679 Speaker 1: that you need to lean on these other parts a 464 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 1: little bit more totally. I like the way you explain that. 465 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: And you know, every triad has one type that typically 466 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: overdoes that center. I'll continue to put myself on the 467 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: operating table. But in the heart triad, bours tend to 468 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: overdo their emotion, threes tend to kind of repress their emotion, 469 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: and two tend to kind of underdo it or or 470 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 1: you know, kind of stuff it and put on a 471 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,719 Speaker 1: happy face. And so even in your triad, kind of 472 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: like in the body triad, to like, eights tend to 473 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: kind of overdo their anger, Nines tend to forget their anger. 474 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 1: You know, ones are kind of in repression with their anger. 475 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 1: So even within their are triads, there is a fine 476 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 1: tuning of our relationship ship with that center of intelligence. 477 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: So yes, you're right. It is a balancing both within 478 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: the triad and within the other triads in our relationship, 479 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 1: all the way around. It's it's just really fascinating. And 480 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 1: like I said, the heart triad is made up of 481 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 1: two threes and fours, the head triad five, sixes and sevens. 482 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,119 Speaker 1: In the body triad eights, nins and ones, and type 483 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 1: eight is kind of where I jump off in terms 484 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,199 Speaker 1: of unpacking each each type. So we'll start at the 485 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: top of the diagram with type bit often called the challenger, 486 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: often called the protector. Eight's attention goes to who's got 487 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: the control. Eights are self confident, decisive, willful, oftentimes confrontational, 488 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: and they are are kind of their unconscious motivation is 489 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: the need to protect themselves and others, to avoid being 490 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: controlled and to pave their own way in life. They're 491 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: obviously very one of the assertive types, and they're very 492 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 1: self referencing. They seek justice. So, you know, eights get 493 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:11,960 Speaker 1: a bad rap because especially eight women, because they cannot 494 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 1: be a little rough around the edges, and you know, 495 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: they do like to challenge, but it's typically out of justice. 496 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 1: They do have a role pulse on justice and the 497 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: good of all they're they're really trying to affect change 498 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 1: for the good of the marginalized or or the weak, 499 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 1: and so gosh, I think eights tend to be the 500 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: most misunderstood. Yeah, well, you know, I think it was 501 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: in and Crowns The Road Back to You. I think 502 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: it wasn't that his book. That was when I was 503 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: reading the Eights, it said that eight's view confrontation as intimacy. 504 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: So where some people are like, oh my gosh, I 505 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 1: can't believe they're like, I was feeling really close to you, 506 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: and somebody else can interpret that, especially if you're not 507 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: an eight as I can't believe them, like whatever, if 508 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: they really don't like confrontation, it really that's their way 509 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: to feel close or express love in the form of 510 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: justice seeking. Yeah, it totally is. Your love language is 511 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: just shooting straight from the hip. It's not it's not 512 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 1: beating around the bush. You know. That doesn't feel loving 513 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: to them? Um, you're I think, yeah, I love that. 514 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: I think I remember reading that totally. What it doesn't 515 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: feel loving to be passive aggressive? Probably is that fit 516 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: or just passive in general. They're gonna be direct because 517 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,960 Speaker 1: that's the way they show love, and a lot of 518 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: people think that a way to show love us to 519 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 1: avoid which isn't better. It's not better, No, not at all. 520 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: It's not better. It's not better. And we have to 521 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: remember again if we're looking at the story, the personality story. Yeah, eight, 522 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: So a lot of time had to grow up before 523 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 1: the rest of us. You know, they had to they 524 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: they were really young when they had to grow up. 525 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: They had to be strong, they had to be tough. 526 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: They had to care for other people and take care 527 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: of other people, including including themselves. So they didn't have 528 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: the luxury of this kind kind of childlike innocence or 529 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: so they think. So that is again it's their survival 530 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: and how they it's how they communicate. Um, it's just 531 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 1: the way they learned, right, And you know they bring 532 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: big energy into the room and they use that energy 533 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,280 Speaker 1: really to affect change. Always say, if you want to 534 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 1: start a new business, partner with an eight. They just 535 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: they get they get stuff done, and um, they're incredibly efficient. 536 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: They do fear being harmed, controlled, or betrayed. To portrayal 537 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: is a big deal for them. They value independence and 538 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 1: resist again being indebted to anyone. So so when they're healthy, 539 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 1: they are natural leaders, and they have a really solid 540 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 1: commanding presence, and they just they just fiercely protect their people. 541 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: And I think there might be fear in relationships with 542 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 1: an eight. But also if it's a how healthy relationship, 543 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 1: it sounds like that person would be thinking by your 544 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: side and fighting for you and helping you make your 545 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 1: dreams come true. I could be making that up, but 546 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: so it sounds like, yeah, no, you're not making that up, 547 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 1: not at all. You know, they're their invitation is to 548 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 1: connect to their own vulnerability, you know, because that's what 549 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: they had to survive, not being able to do at 550 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 1: such a young age. So can the invitation, you know, 551 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: the passion the type of eight the emotional pattern to 552 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 1: get stuck in is lust. And I don't mean less 553 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: in a sexual sense. It's just kind of this lust, 554 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: this intensity for life, and they you know, along the way, 555 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: they lose touch with their innocence and vulnerability. So connecting 556 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: back to that that vulnerability is part of the work 557 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 1: of an eight. So would you say what's hard about 558 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 1: being an eight is the I mean, would you say 559 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: fear of vulnerability or or difficulty being vulnerable? Like, what's 560 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: tough about being eight. I mean, I think there's there's 561 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: a lot of things. I think people misunderstand eights a 562 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 1: lot of times, again, especially women. You know, if you're 563 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: a guy and you're an eight in a boardroom, you're 564 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: you're a strong leader. If you're a woman and you're 565 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: a strong eight, and you know in a border room, 566 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: you're a bit right. And so I think, you know, 567 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 1: eights have we obviously, like we all do, they have 568 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 1: vulnerable parts of who they are, but they just they 569 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 1: have been conditioned to not access those parts or show 570 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: them to anyone. So that is that is hard, you know, 571 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 1: always having to be strong. I work with so many 572 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:35,800 Speaker 1: amazing eight women clients who just are exhausted. You're exhausted. 573 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 1: They are so tired of being strong, They're so tired 574 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: of pressing the needle forward, and um, they a lot 575 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: of times they just don't feel like they have the 576 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: luxury to relax. So I like the idea of the 577 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: invitation for an eight. So something that they might need 578 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 1: to hear is it's okay to be vulnerable, It's okay 579 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: to let your guard down, something like that, to connect 580 00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 1: with those soft parts, to show the world those after parts, 581 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: because we want to see or I do I want 582 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: to lay the soft parts, you know, type nines moving 583 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,839 Speaker 1: me moving forward, often called the mediator or the peacemaker. Wait, 584 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: I gotta say this because it's just funny. I put 585 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: out a question on Instagram that said, what do you 586 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 1: want to know? At the Instagram? What are your questions? 587 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: And multiple people this is not I did not expect this. 588 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: Multiple people said why is nine the best number? And 589 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: usually it's like talk about why seven is the best number, 590 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 1: but so many nines were like one, I got more 591 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,440 Speaker 1: questions about nine than any but multiple people are like, 592 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: talk about why nines are the best, and I'm like 593 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:39,480 Speaker 1: that's I like that so great. They are so beloved, 594 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: just like sevens. You know, I've heard different theories, but 595 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,719 Speaker 1: I've I've just heard people also say that there's more 596 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,360 Speaker 1: not type nines than any other type. I don't know 597 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,399 Speaker 1: if that plays into it, but oh yeah, nines are 598 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 1: just they're so lovable, you know, their attention always kind 599 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: of goes to, uh, the agenda of others and how 600 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: to keep the peace. Obviously, they're easy going, self effacing, 601 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:09,400 Speaker 1: laid back, receptive, agreeable. They're motivated. This unconscious motivation is 602 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 1: you know, the need to kind of avoid to avoid pain, 603 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: avoid confrontation, to keep the peace for themselves and others. 604 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:21,359 Speaker 1: They see the value and everyone's point of view. That's 605 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 1: why a lot of times they are called the mediator. 606 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people feel seen by 607 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: type nnds right minds. I'm married to a nine and 608 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,120 Speaker 1: he just doesn't have really he's also a drummer, so 609 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 1: he just he feels fine in the background, you know, 610 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,239 Speaker 1: like he doesn't need to be in the limelight. He 611 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: doesn't need, you know, all eyes on him. He's very 612 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 1: very conscientious about checking in with you know, kind of 613 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,160 Speaker 1: the least of these and and and just finding out 614 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 1: how he can you know, they can feel more at ease. 615 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,759 Speaker 1: Their belief is that you are good or okay as 616 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: long as others around you are good or okay. So 617 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,400 Speaker 1: they do tend to be spiritually very very grounded, and 618 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: and they're healthy and definitely grounded in the physical world. 619 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,400 Speaker 1: Can be very steady energy wise, and you know, obviously 620 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: an unhealthy levels and nines can have a real trouble 621 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 1: making decisions. They can become lazy to their own self development. 622 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 1: They can become overly dependent on the agendas of other people. 623 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,760 Speaker 1: You know, they can tend to kind of knock out 624 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,360 Speaker 1: and none out more than any other kind of the 625 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,279 Speaker 1: prototype right for I mean we all numb, but they 626 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 1: are kind of the prototype for it. And I mean 627 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,479 Speaker 1: in any specific ways or is it anything? I think 628 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: it just depends like a lot of like TV can 629 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: be a big number. Have heard people say video games, Um, 630 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 1: sleep can be a number. Comfort. They said this at 631 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 1: the at the narrative training that I went through. They're like, 632 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: comfort is not your friend as a nine, right, Like 633 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 1: for a lot of people, comfort is a way of 634 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: kind of self care, etcetera. But for the nine, you know, 635 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 1: they tend to kind of overdo comfort and indulge comfort 636 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,480 Speaker 1: so much so that they will kind of fall asleep 637 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 1: to the world around them. What's the deal with a 638 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,439 Speaker 1: nine and anger? Because they act like they don't care. 639 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,919 Speaker 1: This is a generalization obviously, but they actually they don't 640 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,920 Speaker 1: care about a lot of stuff. But what what do 641 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 1: they do with their anger? How is it? How are 642 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: they processing it? Are they falling asleep to their anger 643 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 1: and numbing their anger? Falling asleep to their anger? Because 644 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 1: if they were to access their anger, that could threaten 645 00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:34,880 Speaker 1: their connection to other people, right, that that would threaten 646 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:39,279 Speaker 1: their their unconscious motivation of keeping the peace. So of 647 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: course they have anger, but they just kind of fall 648 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,000 Speaker 1: asleep to it. You know, if you ask a nine 649 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: when the last time they got angry was, they'd probably 650 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: tell you, like in twenty sixteen or something like. They 651 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,160 Speaker 1: can go a long time without really accessing it. But 652 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: I believe that they're kind of the spiritual work. The 653 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,320 Speaker 1: deeper work for the type nine is to access anger 654 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: and health. Because we talk about feelings all the time 655 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,280 Speaker 1: on this podcast, and anger is one of my favorite 656 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 1: feelings because it shows us what we want, It shows us, 657 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,799 Speaker 1: brings justice to situations, and it lets us know that 658 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 1: we have boundaries. And so would the invitation to a 659 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: nine be just that of like to like allow themselves 660 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,200 Speaker 1: to feel that anger so it feels vulnerable, and then 661 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,719 Speaker 1: a nine would be like get angry. Yeah, I mean 662 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,360 Speaker 1: I think eights, I mean, nines and ones have a 663 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,600 Speaker 1: tricky relationship with anger. We'll talk about that when we 664 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,880 Speaker 1: talk about one here in a second, But yeah, I 665 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 1: think probably. I know for myself, really anger is at 666 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: the heart of it is passion, and that to me 667 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 1: is the most beautiful state of any nine, Like when 668 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 1: they get passionate about something and they find their voice 669 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: and they use it. That is to me when I 670 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: feel most attracted to nines and I feel like, wow, 671 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,480 Speaker 1: I want to shut up because you're talking and you 672 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: don't You don't waste or mens words very often, you know. 673 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: So I think part of connecting with the deeper fears 674 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: around anger, you know, unpacking. Like if if you and 675 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,720 Speaker 1: I were to work with a nine, a type none client, 676 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: you know, maybe part of what we would work through 677 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:24,319 Speaker 1: is exploring their relationship with anger, you know, exploring kind 678 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: of how they came to that relationship with anger, and 679 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:31,880 Speaker 1: then really providing some safe space to access that anger 680 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 1: so that no, no tie will be severed and we 681 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,960 Speaker 1: see them and just the same light and beauty as 682 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,279 Speaker 1: we once did. Right. It's the lot, that kind of 683 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 1: the lot that glues their character structure together, This kind 684 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,440 Speaker 1: of belief that they make up in their head that 685 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 1: I'm only okay or loved if I can keep the peace. 686 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 1: We're trying to invite and and and and support our 687 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 1: nines to live beyond that. Yeah, they just don't learn 688 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,720 Speaker 1: that conflict can happen and there can be repair. Yes, 689 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,800 Speaker 1: beautiful way of saying it. So Type one again about 690 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 1: the last body type nines. If we want to jump 691 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:14,320 Speaker 1: into anger again. Nines tend to push down their anger 692 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:20,240 Speaker 1: or they tend to show their anger as frustration or resentment, 693 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 1: because anger for a Type one is seen as kind 694 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,600 Speaker 1: of a bad emotion, and they don't want to be bad, 695 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 1: and the unconscious motivation is to be seen as right 696 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 1: and good for a Type one, So if they were 697 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 1: to become angry and give way to that anger again, 698 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:42,640 Speaker 1: that could threaten their you know, this belief that they 699 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 1: hold so tightly that they have to be good, they 700 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 1: have to be right, and and that is that's not 701 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,879 Speaker 1: good and right. Anger, it's not a good emotion. It's 702 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:56,360 Speaker 1: not what ones look do. They look happy all the time, well, 703 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,800 Speaker 1: or now they look frustrated. They tend to be a 704 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 1: little bit more serious, but they kind of express their 705 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: anger as frustration. They look really head types a lot 706 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,120 Speaker 1: of times. It's almost like if you are If I 707 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 1: were to ask are you angry, they'd be like, no, 708 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: I'm just annoyed. It's like they won't go that deep. 709 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,600 Speaker 1: They won't they won't give way to that kind of 710 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:20,080 Speaker 1: full expression of anger. Okay, so it's part of their 711 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,440 Speaker 1: deep inner work too, is to kind of repair that 712 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: relationship with anger, because what happens is, you know, they 713 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 1: can kind of repress, repressed, repressed, repress, forget, forget, you 714 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 1: know whatever, and fly off the handle, you know, go 715 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: to that impaired state, which is rage. Their attention. Type 716 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,240 Speaker 1: one is often called the reformer. A lot of people 717 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 1: know Type ones as the perfectionist. Although gosh, I don't 718 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 1: know about you, but I meet so many ones that 719 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 1: just don't see themselves as perfection and that throw I 720 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,160 Speaker 1: think that's what throws a lot of people off when 721 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 1: it comes to one. They're like, no, I'm not we're 722 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,839 Speaker 1: not organized, or I'm not this, or I'm not that, 723 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,400 Speaker 1: or I don't have to have everything in line, and 724 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 1: so they just throw that type out the window when 725 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,600 Speaker 1: it really might be who they are. Yeah, that's why 726 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: I love to just encourage people. Don't decide you're type 727 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,400 Speaker 1: based on the name of the time. I like to 728 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 1: just call it type you know, type type one, type two, 729 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:17,040 Speaker 1: type three instead of the perfection because they really can 730 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: be misleading. But yeah, their attention goes to what's missing 731 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: or wrong in a room, and how to improve it. Right, 732 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,439 Speaker 1: A lot of some people call them the improvers, how 733 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:34,280 Speaker 1: to improve what's already there. They're super rational, super organized, idealistic, purposeful. 734 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:39,000 Speaker 1: They can be really characterized by this need to be 735 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:43,799 Speaker 1: good and virtuous and in balance and integrity is a 736 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 1: huge word for type one, which I need lots of 737 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,120 Speaker 1: ones in my life as a seven. Right, They're so 738 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 1: helpful bring you into balance. You feel it? Yeah, well, 739 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: and just like my head is going seventeen different directions, 740 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,760 Speaker 1: and they can almost helps like balance I guess center 741 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: of me where I'm like, I don't care about that. 742 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,200 Speaker 1: Sometimes they're like, well you should care because this helps 743 00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: this part of this. They just see things I don't 744 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:09,120 Speaker 1: have the ability to see. Yeah, that's really interesting. I 745 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 1: love hearing that. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. 746 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,680 Speaker 1: That is a resource point for you in terms of 747 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 1: like your flow line to the one. You know. They 748 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,120 Speaker 1: The flip side of that is they can be super 749 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:23,560 Speaker 1: overly critical, and I think of all the types, they 750 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:27,839 Speaker 1: have the most violent inner critic. And you know, this 751 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,760 Speaker 1: unconscious belief that they have, like you must be good 752 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,360 Speaker 1: and right to be worthy. There's a lot of shame 753 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 1: I feel like associated to which type type ones oftentimes, 754 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: you know, they're just highly conscientious responsible. Like if I 755 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:45,319 Speaker 1: ever have brain surgery, I really want to type one 756 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,600 Speaker 1: as my nerves hands down. Why do you think that, 757 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,320 Speaker 1: like childhood, is there one specific or main childhood wound 758 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,560 Speaker 1: that gets hit for these people that fall into the 759 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,040 Speaker 1: one category or is it more of a belief system 760 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,879 Speaker 1: that I'm not good enough? Yeah? I think I think that. 761 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,560 Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of rigidity, a lot of 762 00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes not measuring up at a really small age, 763 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:12,359 Speaker 1: a lot of times being brought up and highly structured, 764 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 1: highly rigid oftentimes maybe military households where the emphasis was 765 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,880 Speaker 1: a lot around, maybe legalism, just a lot of a 766 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 1: lot of rules, a lot of early responsibility. What's their 767 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,879 Speaker 1: take on vulnerability? Is that seen as good or bad 768 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,520 Speaker 1: or scary? What does vulnerability look like? Typically? I think 769 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:38,240 Speaker 1: a lot of ones in a way probably weren't allowed 770 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:42,080 Speaker 1: to be super vulnerable either, And so this kind of 771 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: zipped up persona that they really let on and lead 772 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:51,040 Speaker 1: with doesn't leave a lot of room again for the 773 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:56,880 Speaker 1: kind of softer, squishy parts that could easily be wounded. 774 00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,759 Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of armoring up. You know, 775 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,600 Speaker 1: the type one as well. I always love to encourage 776 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 1: type ones to think in terms of excellence rather than perfection. 777 00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 1: And and you know, doing doing your best, but not 778 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,120 Speaker 1: making it about perfection. You know, it's what I is 779 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 1: that you know that quote? Is it Hemmingway or somebody 780 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,480 Speaker 1: that says, and now that you don't have to be perfect, 781 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,360 Speaker 1: you can be good. You know, I think it is 782 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,000 Speaker 1: from East of Eden. But now that you don't have 783 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 1: to be perfect, you canna be good. You know, like 784 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,520 Speaker 1: it's okay you don't have to make up your bed 785 00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,719 Speaker 1: every single day in the morning right when you get 786 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,479 Speaker 1: out of bed. You know, you you can be five 787 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,239 Speaker 1: minutes late every once in a while, We're still gonna 788 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,920 Speaker 1: love you. And before you yeah, you know, I've heard 789 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,759 Speaker 1: multiple times that people who struggle with eating disorders fall 790 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,920 Speaker 1: in line with this type of the most. Have you 791 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,800 Speaker 1: found that to be true or is that just something 792 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,400 Speaker 1: that's floating on the internet. I've never read that, but 793 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,480 Speaker 1: I could see that being true the more restrictive type 794 00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,960 Speaker 1: of an eating disorder. I mean, there's things that you've 795 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,040 Speaker 1: said in every single number we've gone through so far 796 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 1: that would lead somebody to any type of addiction. And 797 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,480 Speaker 1: I view a needing disorder as a process addiction, and 798 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,600 Speaker 1: so it could be anything but this very like perfectionist. 799 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,719 Speaker 1: I need to look this way. I need to look 800 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,520 Speaker 1: the part probably falls more into the more susceptible, which 801 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:21,000 Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. Sevens go to one when 802 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,279 Speaker 1: they're in unhealth. Right, Well, I have a little bit 803 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 1: of a different take there. It is called for a 804 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:31,480 Speaker 1: lot of people call that like the stress point type seven. 805 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,239 Speaker 1: I think it's just a resource point, right, Okay, you 806 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:38,280 Speaker 1: know when you start to get overly critical and perfectionistic, 807 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 1: you know, that's a wake up call. That's an invitation 808 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:46,359 Speaker 1: to practice some self compassion that direct right. So I 809 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:52,880 Speaker 1: don't love the like disintegration integration language. I see every 810 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,440 Speaker 1: flow line and arrow as a resource, a resource point. 811 00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:01,520 Speaker 1: So you know, I think that absolutely hype ones provide 812 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:05,839 Speaker 1: like that type. You know, if you really glean from 813 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 1: the higher side of the type one, you bring a 814 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:14,080 Speaker 1: lot of you know, organization and follow through, and you 815 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,759 Speaker 1: can you can glean so much from that type. Also, 816 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:24,000 Speaker 1: it's a great red flashing light you to say, oh wow, 817 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,640 Speaker 1: there I go again, I'm doing that thing. I'm being 818 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,319 Speaker 1: overly critical of myself for others I'm tending towards some perfectionism. 819 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,719 Speaker 1: I need to choose something different. So I think it's 820 00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,040 Speaker 1: a great resource. So good one triad. Shall we go 821 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,080 Speaker 1: for the next Yeah, let's let's dive into to the 822 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:45,279 Speaker 1: heart tryad two season four's. Type two's often known as 823 00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:50,279 Speaker 1: the helper, known as the befriender. Their attention goes to 824 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:56,359 Speaker 1: connections or alliances with people. There are the most relational 825 00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 1: people on the angiogram. Their attention goes to how can 826 00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,520 Speaker 1: I be like right? How can I be accepted and loved? Um? 827 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:08,680 Speaker 1: They're caring, relational, generous people can be people pleasing and 828 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:12,840 Speaker 1: often possessive as well. Type two's are driven by the 829 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,200 Speaker 1: needs to be needed. That's their unconscious motivation in life, 830 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:19,920 Speaker 1: and they feel way more comfortable giving than receiving. They're 831 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 1: often totally unaware of their needs and how to get 832 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:27,160 Speaker 1: their needs met. That is, if you have a loved 833 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,839 Speaker 1: one in your life, that's a type to ask them 834 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,080 Speaker 1: what they need every single day, be curious about their 835 00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:37,279 Speaker 1: needs and desires. Two's really often suffer from poor boundaries 836 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:41,200 Speaker 1: because they know themselves so much. In relation to people 837 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:46,680 Speaker 1: and unhealthy spaces. Type two's can be codependent and manipulative. 838 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 1: Have you seen that show on um Netflix? Dead to Me? 839 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:54,040 Speaker 1: Have you watched that? Oh my gosh, it's such a 840 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:57,440 Speaker 1: good series, but there is one of the main characters 841 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 1: is the poster child for an unhealthy too to cost 842 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:04,680 Speaker 1: So it's yeah, anyway, I'll just leave that there. They 843 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,960 Speaker 1: can often kind of play the role of the martyr 844 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 1: and healthy levels though Tight two's are Gosh, they are 845 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,399 Speaker 1: the people that we are most drawn to. They are 846 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:20,160 Speaker 1: just so incredibly lovable and kind and warm, compassionate and 847 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:25,920 Speaker 1: just intrinsically generous. They just are such such beautiful people 848 00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,520 Speaker 1: inside and out. I mean, it's just it's just amazing. 849 00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:32,279 Speaker 1: I feel so my life feels so much richer with 850 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,800 Speaker 1: my type two friends. What I've heard that their superpower 851 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,200 Speaker 1: is they can walk into a room and they can 852 00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,520 Speaker 1: sense out like who needs something, like they just know, 853 00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,919 Speaker 1: which can be really hard to because I don't have 854 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,359 Speaker 1: that superpower, and I can walk into a room and 855 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:53,040 Speaker 1: totally miss what somebody needs. And so if you are too, 856 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,040 Speaker 1: and you're somebody who can walk into a room and 857 00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:57,040 Speaker 1: be like, oh, this person needs this, it can be 858 00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,960 Speaker 1: somewhat frustrating that nobody's doing that. Back to you because 859 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,480 Speaker 1: it makes sense in your head. Yeah, and a lot 860 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 1: of times where Type two's get into trouble, Like you said, 861 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:10,720 Speaker 1: they give with the expectation of giving in return, either 862 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:15,600 Speaker 1: of quality time or or some kind of reciprocity. So yeah, 863 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,239 Speaker 1: two tooth can get into trouble. You know. Part of 864 00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:20,600 Speaker 1: the encouragement and the work for Type twos is just 865 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 1: to have boundaries around your generosity and to give without 866 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,160 Speaker 1: an agenda. That's where some of the manipulation can come 867 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,960 Speaker 1: in to focus. As part of the feeling or heart triad. 868 00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 1: You know, the relationship. The dominant emotion in the heart 869 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:39,640 Speaker 1: triad is sadness and grief, and so you know two's 870 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,160 Speaker 1: part of their work is to get in touch with 871 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,000 Speaker 1: their sadness and grief because they tend to be really cheery. 872 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,840 Speaker 1: Oftentimes that's reductive to say that they all are, but 873 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,520 Speaker 1: they oftentimes do appear and present as really upbeat and 874 00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,959 Speaker 1: positive a lot like sevens acsessing sadness and grief could 875 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:59,239 Speaker 1: again threaten that connection to other people, you know, it 876 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 1: can be off putting or so they think. So connecting 877 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 1: to that those emotions is part of the deep work 878 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,759 Speaker 1: or Type two's as well. As really connecting to their 879 00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:13,000 Speaker 1: own personal and emotional needs. Type three is the achiever, 880 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,920 Speaker 1: and type threes are gosh, they are kind of like 881 00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:23,600 Speaker 1: the Arabian horse of the aniogram, right, they know how 882 00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,160 Speaker 1: to go, They're they're quite something. You know. Their attention 883 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,080 Speaker 1: goes to how to appear successful and how to appear 884 00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:35,880 Speaker 1: successful like steamlessly and what tasks need to be accomplished 885 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 1: to appear successful. Right, So obviously success oriented, goal oriented. 886 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,600 Speaker 1: They're very adaptable, they're very very driven. They're probably the 887 00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:50,680 Speaker 1: most image conscious people on the angiogram. They're they're unconscious. 888 00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:54,840 Speaker 1: Motivation is the need to achieve, the need to succeed. 889 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 1: Threes are like the stars of the angiogram and the 890 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,440 Speaker 1: healthy spaces. They are really looked up to you for 891 00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:05,439 Speaker 1: their personal accomplishments and their graciousness. However, when threes are 892 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:10,560 Speaker 1: super you know, an unhealthy spaces, they can almost become 893 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:14,480 Speaker 1: kind of narcissistic and a little too hell bent on 894 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:18,080 Speaker 1: success and and kind of become shallow. Is it they 895 00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:22,520 Speaker 1: want to be successful or look successful? Okay, I think 896 00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,319 Speaker 1: to do with success they want and you know, they're 897 00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,600 Speaker 1: not afraid to work to get there. These these are 898 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,960 Speaker 1: the people that you know, literally, like it's hard for 899 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,680 Speaker 1: them to go on vacation without taking their laptop because 900 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:37,320 Speaker 1: work is fun. Work equals fun for them, and so 901 00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:41,400 Speaker 1: they have a hard time separating out work from life. 902 00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:45,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, they just gosh and they have a lot, 903 00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:48,799 Speaker 1: a lot of energy. They live by the mantra, you 904 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,839 Speaker 1: are good, are okay as long as you appear successful 905 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,279 Speaker 1: and others think well of you, And we all know 906 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:58,680 Speaker 1: kind of the problems how that can become really problematic. 907 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,160 Speaker 1: They have a huge love need, right they believe, and 908 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,040 Speaker 1: as do really all the heart type that a huge 909 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,560 Speaker 1: love need that did not talk about attachment, did not 910 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:11,960 Speaker 1: get met in childhood. Garnering the love and approval of 911 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:15,839 Speaker 1: whoever they're with by appearing successful is just where their 912 00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,040 Speaker 1: attention goes all the time. How do they deal with 913 00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:22,319 Speaker 1: they're feeling? They basically serve as a speed bump, you know, right, 914 00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,600 Speaker 1: Like emotions are kind of like a speed bump. They 915 00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,960 Speaker 1: just kind of slow them down totally. But threes are 916 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:34,560 Speaker 1: so feeling. They absolutely are feelers. They just don't feel 917 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,640 Speaker 1: necessarily safe accessing those because they it's almost like if 918 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 1: I do, I'll be overtaken. They don't they need to 919 00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,879 Speaker 1: understand learn how to kind of manage their emotional experience 920 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,880 Speaker 1: go in and out without feeling like they're going to 921 00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,839 Speaker 1: be overwhelmed. I mean, I think that's probably a good 922 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,480 Speaker 1: thing for all of us to do. But yes, threes 923 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:59,480 Speaker 1: very much downplay their emotions. But this does not mean 924 00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:03,160 Speaker 1: there's an that they're not emotional. That's that's that's not true. 925 00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:08,760 Speaker 1: They're definitely feelers. They just distance themselves from their feelings 926 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:13,600 Speaker 1: really for survival, because successes is survival for them, and 927 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:17,960 Speaker 1: feelings are not there. They're gonna slow down that that process, 928 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,360 Speaker 1: that trajectory moving into fours. With a lot of fours 929 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,480 Speaker 1: in your life, I don't have a lot of fours 930 00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,239 Speaker 1: in my life, a lot of four clients. But I 931 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,680 Speaker 1: just feel like you said, eights are misunderstood. I feel 932 00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:31,839 Speaker 1: like fours are so misunderstood. I think you're right, um, 933 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,800 Speaker 1: and that's a big fear that type woars have. Fours 934 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 1: are especially very misunderstood in relationships. Yeah, I mean we 935 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,279 Speaker 1: can be pretty difficult. I'm not gonna lie like four 936 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,959 Speaker 1: really really tough. I mean, we can all be tough. 937 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:48,600 Speaker 1: But do I do think the drama component of wars 938 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,640 Speaker 1: in relationship if they're not operating in a healthy space, 939 00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:55,240 Speaker 1: can be really difficult and and hire some type fours 940 00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:59,840 Speaker 1: the attention. They're called the romantic or idealist m oftentimes 941 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,960 Speaker 1: oftentimes the artist. That's I think that one of the 942 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,319 Speaker 1: main myths for type fours that they're all creative, which 943 00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,960 Speaker 1: I think their self expression is a is a very 944 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:16,160 Speaker 1: as a valuable part of their experience and something they 945 00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:19,720 Speaker 1: highly highly value is self expression. But their attention goes 946 00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,480 Speaker 1: to kind of like kind of like the type um ones, 947 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,080 Speaker 1: their attention goes to what's missing in the moment or 948 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,440 Speaker 1: how this moment could be better or more perfect, you know, 949 00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,360 Speaker 1: and it's kind of like the grass is always greener. 950 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:35,319 Speaker 1: Type fours really fall into that, right. They also their 951 00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,920 Speaker 1: you know, their attention goes to what can be negative 952 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,279 Speaker 1: in the present moment. So yeah, it can be a 953 00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:49,840 Speaker 1: real drag sensitive creative, oftentimes pretty withdrawn, expressive, dramatic moody 954 00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:54,080 Speaker 1: ors can be very very moody and very motivated by 955 00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:58,200 Speaker 1: this need to be special and stand out and find significance, 956 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,440 Speaker 1: you know, kind of beauty and path that is sorry, 957 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,320 Speaker 1: that's my my one year old and they're um squealing. 958 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:09,000 Speaker 1: Often called like the individualist type boars really have this 959 00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:13,160 Speaker 1: need to maintain their identity and and by seeing themselves 960 00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:17,160 Speaker 1: as as fundamentally different and that doesn't necessarily mean different 961 00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:20,480 Speaker 1: in a good way, just different kind of flawed and deficient. 962 00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:26,319 Speaker 1: Boars have just this rich emotional life, interior life. They 963 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:30,719 Speaker 1: can also really indulge those emotions and fall prey to 964 00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:36,200 Speaker 1: hyper you know, introspection and self absorption. Really, if we're 965 00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,960 Speaker 1: not careful, they can again fixate on what's missing. And 966 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,879 Speaker 1: this they're characterized by this deep sense of longing, right, 967 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:49,240 Speaker 1: this longing for beauty and longing for wholeness and union 968 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,879 Speaker 1: with either a place or a person or an ideal situation. 969 00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,200 Speaker 1: There's this again pervasive feeling, like you said, of being 970 00:56:56,600 --> 00:57:00,600 Speaker 1: misunderstood for fours which can really result and I selation. 971 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,160 Speaker 1: So like you said, I think a lot of depression anxiety. 972 00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:07,920 Speaker 1: It's very common for type foars to to experience that 973 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:12,160 Speaker 1: along the way. They do have strong kind of aesthetic sensibilities. 974 00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:14,960 Speaker 1: They pride themselves and that they pride themselves on being 975 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:20,640 Speaker 1: extraordinary kind of avoiding anything to basic or pedestrian. Right, 976 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:25,400 Speaker 1: I mean again I'm hearing myself talk and cringing. We 977 00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:28,880 Speaker 1: can be lovely people. But no, so yes, those are 978 00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,760 Speaker 1: tell me what you're you're kind of experience with type 979 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,560 Speaker 1: woars as clients, well so, well, I mean emotional. But 980 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:38,120 Speaker 1: then I think the hard time is accepting that this 981 00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,520 Speaker 1: is a good part of them, because I see a 982 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,040 Speaker 1: lot of the beauty in the world, like they're disdained 983 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:47,720 Speaker 1: towards like basicness helps create a lot of what makes 984 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,360 Speaker 1: our world so great and what keeps us moving. So 985 00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:52,800 Speaker 1: we're not all staying the same because there's fours out 986 00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:54,440 Speaker 1: there being like I don't want to be that way, 987 00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,520 Speaker 1: so and then they create a trend, and then we 988 00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,360 Speaker 1: go to that trend and they create a new trend. 989 00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:01,720 Speaker 1: And so I think it's hard sometimes the labels that 990 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:04,560 Speaker 1: the world puts on somebody just from the characteristics of 991 00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,720 Speaker 1: the four type. But rather rather than being like, oh 992 00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,160 Speaker 1: I hate that I'm that way, there's parts that you 993 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,400 Speaker 1: can embrace in that. And one of my favorite things 994 00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,920 Speaker 1: that I've heard about the indiogram is that these like 995 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,480 Speaker 1: quote unquote negative qualities are the flip side of your 996 00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,640 Speaker 1: the best parts about you totally. And so it's hard 997 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:25,160 Speaker 1: for it's my experience, been hard for force to be like, 998 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,280 Speaker 1: oh yeah, You're so right. What a great point. Thank 999 00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:31,200 Speaker 1: you for making that point. Yeah, I mean, just like anything, 1000 00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:35,080 Speaker 1: you know, our our strength can also be our weakness, 1001 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,440 Speaker 1: and it's it's so true. I think seventh, I think 1002 00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:45,400 Speaker 1: your sevenths are trend setters, you know, speaking of trend setters. Yes, absolutely, Yeah, 1003 00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:50,440 Speaker 1: that that beautiful kind of pathos and beauty, like this 1004 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:53,920 Speaker 1: fascination with paths and beauty and meaning and all of 1005 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,840 Speaker 1: this stuff can also be taken to a big stream 1006 00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:02,160 Speaker 1: with force. Comparison with there's is huge fall into the 1007 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,600 Speaker 1: trap of envy. That's our kind of like the passion 1008 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:08,880 Speaker 1: of the four's envy, which can often look like admiration, 1009 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,520 Speaker 1: even you know, like me saying, oh my gosh, your 1010 00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:14,440 Speaker 1: hair is so awesome. I love it, you know, I 1011 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:16,440 Speaker 1: love your hair. Like that can be like a form 1012 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:20,000 Speaker 1: of envy almost for Type fours, Um, we mean, well, 1013 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,760 Speaker 1: but we just have this constant kind of like oh wow, 1014 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:27,760 Speaker 1: that's so beautiful and moving along into this kind of 1015 00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:31,640 Speaker 1: last but not least head center of intelligence thinking center 1016 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,880 Speaker 1: of intelligence and Type fives, which to me are some 1017 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:39,720 Speaker 1: of the most fascinating people in the world. Like maybe one, Yeah, 1018 00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,280 Speaker 1: I don't know if there's like a lesser number of 1019 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,680 Speaker 1: fives in the world, but they just they feel like 1020 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:48,760 Speaker 1: a rare a rare bird, and I love meeting fives. 1021 00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:52,600 Speaker 1: Their attention, they're all often called the observer or the investigator. 1022 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:57,960 Speaker 1: Their attention goes outward to observing or scanning, um often 1023 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:02,160 Speaker 1: to their thinking capacity. They're they're kind of interior castle 1024 01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:07,840 Speaker 1: is their mind. They are constantly hoovering up information, wanting 1025 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:13,640 Speaker 1: to master all kinds of different subjects, from the stars 1026 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:19,040 Speaker 1: to the animal kingdom to their favorite show is like 1027 01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:25,440 Speaker 1: how It's made right. Intense cerebral, very perceptive, innovative, secretive, 1028 01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 1: isolating vibes are really again motivated by that sense of 1029 01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:33,600 Speaker 1: mastery more than any other type. Five seek to understand 1030 01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:37,080 Speaker 1: why things are the way they are. And yeah, they're 1031 01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:40,919 Speaker 1: I mean Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, these are 1032 01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,880 Speaker 1: all really heavy hitters for the fives. In terms of 1033 01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,880 Speaker 1: culture changers too. I mean, I think fives are often 1034 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,760 Speaker 1: known for kind of like how nerdy, smart they are 1035 01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,000 Speaker 1: and innovative, and but often I mean they really are 1036 01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:57,880 Speaker 1: culture changers. Healthy fives are able to manage a balance 1037 01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:02,440 Speaker 1: of energy between participation in an observation right They do 1038 01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:06,640 Speaker 1: participate in the conversation when they're in a healthy space 1039 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:10,480 Speaker 1: and they engage with others comfortably, and they have an 1040 01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:15,640 Speaker 1: amazing ability to demonstrate neutrality. Really but often very very 1041 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:19,960 Speaker 1: introverted and very private fives really struggle with generosity. They 1042 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:25,080 Speaker 1: can be stingy emotionally and um even materialistically. You know, 1043 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:29,520 Speaker 1: they're again just brilliant, brilliant people. And their invitation is 1044 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,800 Speaker 1: the emotional kind of rut they get in as greed 1045 01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,960 Speaker 1: kind of again like saving up all their energy and 1046 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:41,200 Speaker 1: making sure they have enough to to kind of last recording. Yeah, 1047 01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,840 Speaker 1: that's a great word for it. To average is another 1048 01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,480 Speaker 1: word for it. And and the the invitation here for 1049 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,520 Speaker 1: the type five is non attachment, so not necessarily detaching, 1050 01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:55,880 Speaker 1: but having a non attachment to things or possessions and 1051 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,160 Speaker 1: and just for like being able to open up and 1052 01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:02,480 Speaker 1: receive freely, give freely for nine fascinating people. Type six 1053 01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:06,600 Speaker 1: is the loyalist. They're awesome. I love I love, I 1054 01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,000 Speaker 1: love six. I always that I want to marry a six. 1055 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,760 Speaker 1: Oh you you should totally marry a six. I could. 1056 01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,520 Speaker 1: I can see that if a good thing. I'm gonna 1057 01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,840 Speaker 1: be on the lookout for for a nice six chap 1058 01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:22,160 Speaker 1: would be worthy of you. So yeah. Type six is 1059 01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,840 Speaker 1: their attention goes to what could go wrong in any 1060 01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:30,000 Speaker 1: given situation, and they magnify that. So they figuring things 1061 01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,280 Speaker 1: out and being prepared. They're kind of the boy scouts 1062 01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:38,280 Speaker 1: of the angiogram. They're always scanning. They're committed, security oriented. 1063 01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:44,520 Speaker 1: They're very engaging, responsible, can be anxious, really gravitating, sometimes 1064 01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:48,280 Speaker 1: an unhealthy spaces to paranoia. Type sixes are motivated by 1065 01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:51,800 Speaker 1: the need to be safe and secure, and they will 1066 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:55,600 Speaker 1: display loyalty, oh my goodness to their friends and believe 1067 01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:59,160 Speaker 1: beyond any other type. We all need some good sixes 1068 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,160 Speaker 1: on our teams. UM there at the center of the 1069 01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:07,120 Speaker 1: thinking triad, so again very cerebral and very others referencing 1070 01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:11,360 Speaker 1: very compliant. Six is basic fear is to be without support, 1071 01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,920 Speaker 1: to be without guidance, So they have a very interesting 1072 01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:17,600 Speaker 1: relationship with UM, with authority. They're kind of called worst 1073 01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:20,720 Speaker 1: case scenario thinkers. If you call them a pessimist, they 1074 01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:24,560 Speaker 1: will correct you immediately and tell you that their realist right. 1075 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,920 Speaker 1: They don't like to find themselves in unpredictable situations. They 1076 01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:33,040 Speaker 1: really like to be prepared and healthy levels. They are 1077 01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:39,760 Speaker 1: super productive logical thinkers, always organized their thoughts around what 1078 01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,640 Speaker 1: would be the best case scenario for the for the 1079 01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:47,560 Speaker 1: common good. They're amazing team players. They're they're witty and 1080 01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:51,840 Speaker 1: understanding and compassionate of others. So I see sixes especially 1081 01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,040 Speaker 1: when it comes to me because I'm like on the 1082 01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,160 Speaker 1: side where let's do everything and let's do this and 1083 01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,120 Speaker 1: let's do that. I don't think through anything, and a 1084 01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,600 Speaker 1: sex is the person that's like standing at the door 1085 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,920 Speaker 1: being like, wait, did you think this through? What about this? 1086 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,200 Speaker 1: That essentially they're the reason the world has not like 1087 01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:08,919 Speaker 1: completely blown up totally. We still exist as a human 1088 01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:12,080 Speaker 1: species because of sixes. One. Yes, that's how I see them. 1089 01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:16,120 Speaker 1: And like I haven't like combusted because of my sixth friends. 1090 01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:19,720 Speaker 1: Very true, that's so so spot on. I love it. 1091 01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,959 Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, I love it. I mean, yeah, 1092 01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,400 Speaker 1: we wouldn't be here, we would not be here as 1093 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,000 Speaker 1: a species if it weren't with sixes. Okay, So for 1094 01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,440 Speaker 1: the sake of time, what is because we're gonna move 1095 01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,680 Speaker 1: to spend a second on seventh, But what is the 1096 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:35,080 Speaker 1: six need to hear? What's their invitation? The invitation for 1097 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:40,120 Speaker 1: the sixth is faith to allow us to see their 1098 01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:44,920 Speaker 1: courage by living out of a space of of of 1099 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:48,240 Speaker 1: having faith, of cultivating their faith. They don't have to 1100 01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,280 Speaker 1: have all the answers. And there's no there's no such 1101 01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,880 Speaker 1: thing as having all the all the answers, right, There's 1102 01:04:54,000 --> 01:05:00,600 Speaker 1: no way we can be completely secure and insert right. 1103 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:05,040 Speaker 1: So so the invitation for type six is to cultivate 1104 01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:08,800 Speaker 1: your faith. And it's okay to not have all the answers, right, 1105 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:12,480 Speaker 1: It's okay to rely on other people. I love that 1106 01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:14,640 Speaker 1: for for six is because you know, it's like that 1107 01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:18,160 Speaker 1: saying that you know, courage is not the absence of fear, 1108 01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:23,760 Speaker 1: it is showing up despite your fear. And here I 1109 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,040 Speaker 1: love that. Yeah, okay, now can we talk about seven. 1110 01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,920 Speaker 1: If we didn't talk about seven, this would this would 1111 01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:34,080 Speaker 1: just not be half as fun. And that's kind of 1112 01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:36,720 Speaker 1: why I like to start with aids and end with sevens, 1113 01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:41,760 Speaker 1: because sevens they could easily, you know, get distracted and 1114 01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,800 Speaker 1: have kind of checked out. But I've left, I would 1115 01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,160 Speaker 1: have stopped this podcast. What you were you were out 1116 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:53,080 Speaker 1: getting cocktail hour, if your meeting your other seven friends, 1117 01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:56,400 Speaker 1: doing something fabulous and drinking something bubbly, I love it. No, 1118 01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,680 Speaker 1: I love type seven so so much. My one of 1119 01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,520 Speaker 1: my absolute best friends in the whole wide world is 1120 01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:06,040 Speaker 1: seven and she just keeps me so grounded with her positivity, 1121 01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:09,640 Speaker 1: and I love it. Sevens often called the epicure or 1122 01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:12,880 Speaker 1: the enthusiast or the avenger their attention and I can't 1123 01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:15,200 Speaker 1: wait to have you speak to the sevens. You know 1124 01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:19,640 Speaker 1: there your attention goes to planning and future based opportunities 1125 01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:24,520 Speaker 1: and plans whatever feels good. Their unconscious belief is that 1126 01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:27,600 Speaker 1: you are okay as long as you stay up and 1127 01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:31,200 Speaker 1: open right, your energy is up and open. Sevens are 1128 01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:36,480 Speaker 1: amazing entrepreneurs, podcast hosts. I mean, they're just really brilliant 1129 01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:40,240 Speaker 1: minds and thinkers, fast thinkers. I think sevens are the fastest, 1130 01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:44,360 Speaker 1: the most innovative thinkers on the angiogram. Very very optimistic. 1131 01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:47,880 Speaker 1: Sevens approach life with the sense of adventure and can 1132 01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:52,360 Speaker 1: do spirit and openness and curiosity, always planning the next 1133 01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:56,400 Speaker 1: great thing and in vacation or party or meal. They're 1134 01:06:56,440 --> 01:07:00,640 Speaker 1: collectors of friends, oh my goodness, very anticipate worry. It's 1135 01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:05,080 Speaker 1: difficult sometimes for sevens to finish projects um or has 1136 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:07,520 Speaker 1: It can be pretty pretty difficult. That's what you were 1137 01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:11,640 Speaker 1: describing it's like enlisting some of those one qualities type 1138 01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:15,320 Speaker 1: one qualities or type six qualities. They do not like confrontation, 1139 01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:20,400 Speaker 1: typically heavy conversations, very popular with lots of friends and people. 1140 01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:24,160 Speaker 1: They're the life of any party and healthy places. Type 1141 01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:29,520 Speaker 1: sevens are able to incorporate pain and disappointment into the 1142 01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:33,000 Speaker 1: whole of their lives and experiences and and rather than 1143 01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:38,200 Speaker 1: avoiding it right So they're not only fun and adventurous, 1144 01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:42,520 Speaker 1: but they're also spiritually grounded people and practical and also 1145 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:45,640 Speaker 1: very very resilient. I think that is the invitation for 1146 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,320 Speaker 1: type sevens, is the resilience factor. You know, it's just 1147 01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:52,959 Speaker 1: such a superpower. I feel like for sevens, yes, tell 1148 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:56,200 Speaker 1: me speak speak into I mean, I feel all of 1149 01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:58,640 Speaker 1: those things. I think that sevens are I mean, and 1150 01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:01,040 Speaker 1: we act this way, and that we are looked at 1151 01:08:01,080 --> 01:08:03,600 Speaker 1: this way as it's like we're always fun all the time. 1152 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,680 Speaker 1: Life is light, life is bubbly, it has been. I 1153 01:08:06,720 --> 01:08:10,919 Speaker 1: think the biggest struggle of becoming a therapist is my personality. 1154 01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:14,160 Speaker 1: And this in the sense it's super hard for me 1155 01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:17,479 Speaker 1: to center in like emotions that are hard to feel, 1156 01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:20,160 Speaker 1: which for me, emotion that's hard to feel a sadness 1157 01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:24,160 Speaker 1: and hurt. Breakups have been way harder than I think 1158 01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:27,400 Speaker 1: they should be because feeling that kind of pain is 1159 01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:29,720 Speaker 1: something I'm not used to, and I don't know what 1160 01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,400 Speaker 1: it's going to end. I'm not so much excited about 1161 01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:34,680 Speaker 1: like a trip. I'm excited about the fact that I 1162 01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:37,720 Speaker 1: have something to look forward to, and so in breakups, 1163 01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,880 Speaker 1: they've been really hard because I don't know when that 1164 01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:42,360 Speaker 1: pain is going to go away, so I can't have 1165 01:08:42,439 --> 01:08:45,240 Speaker 1: something to look forward to. And people are so important 1166 01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:48,400 Speaker 1: to me like I do have, and I've worked on 1167 01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:51,080 Speaker 1: this of trying to make my circle smaller almost, but 1168 01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:54,679 Speaker 1: I have so many friends and people are so important 1169 01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:57,680 Speaker 1: to me. Relationships are so important to me, so I 1170 01:08:57,720 --> 01:09:00,760 Speaker 1: want to make everybody happy because when I've happy, and 1171 01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,759 Speaker 1: then when I just want to be sad, I feel 1172 01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:07,200 Speaker 1: guilty almost. I'm thinking back to one specific time in 1173 01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,280 Speaker 1: my life where I went through a breakup and I 1174 01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:12,160 Speaker 1: just heard over and over you're not yourself, You're not yourself. 1175 01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,640 Speaker 1: And when I did become myself again, people were like, 1176 01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:17,679 Speaker 1: I'm so glad she's back, and that was very meaningful 1177 01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:21,040 Speaker 1: to me. But also it's hard because I already have 1178 01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:23,519 Speaker 1: a hard time being sad, and so then it's like 1179 01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:25,040 Speaker 1: on top of that, I feel so I mean, I 1180 01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:27,080 Speaker 1: could talk about being a seven all day long, but 1181 01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:29,719 Speaker 1: I what I think I want most people to see 1182 01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:32,559 Speaker 1: is it's great to be a seven. I would not 1183 01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:35,599 Speaker 1: choose to trade my number, and it's it has pain 1184 01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:38,799 Speaker 1: points and we're also I think every number has areas 1185 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:42,880 Speaker 1: where they're misunderstood. And if you are somebody who envies 1186 01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:46,320 Speaker 1: somebody who is a different type or envies being a seven, 1187 01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:49,439 Speaker 1: I am the parts of all of the numbers and 1188 01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:51,840 Speaker 1: things that I wish I could gravitate towards. Now what 1189 01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,639 Speaker 1: I trade who I am? No the reputation of thinking 1190 01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,280 Speaker 1: we're the best number, and I don't feel that all 1191 01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:00,240 Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, I think sevens. There's a lot of 1192 01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:05,480 Speaker 1: misconceptions about sevens, you know, and I do think sevens, 1193 01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:09,320 Speaker 1: you know. I've I've even heard people say sevens are 1194 01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:13,919 Speaker 1: actually not the most optimistic. They're the most pessimistic because 1195 01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:19,439 Speaker 1: they're so afraid to go to that place of being 1196 01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:23,320 Speaker 1: sad or being in pain, because they're so afraid of 1197 01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,880 Speaker 1: what that could be like. You know, so a lot 1198 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:28,280 Speaker 1: a lot of times, you know, you've heard this phrase, 1199 01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:33,240 Speaker 1: especially recently toxic positive positivity. I think sevens can kind 1200 01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:38,680 Speaker 1: of nark out almost on positivity well, and going to 1201 01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,680 Speaker 1: therapy has been so hard because I don't want to 1202 01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:45,120 Speaker 1: sit in that stuff and talk about gravitating towards addiction 1203 01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,599 Speaker 1: and numbing. But I mean we could go on forever. 1204 01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:52,880 Speaker 1: You know. The invitation or virtue is sobriety. And I 1205 01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:55,240 Speaker 1: would say again, just kind of like the lust for 1206 01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:57,720 Speaker 1: Type AID, it's not that's not a sexual lust, it's 1207 01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:02,160 Speaker 1: not like an alcohol sobriety, it's just basically like being 1208 01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:08,520 Speaker 1: sober in your experience, you know, being awake and present presence, 1209 01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:10,920 Speaker 1: you know. I wish we had time to really go 1210 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,400 Speaker 1: into all of the kind of opportunities for every type, 1211 01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:18,840 Speaker 1: but for Type seven, the opportunity is just to take 1212 01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:23,280 Speaker 1: up space in the present moment, to really really move around, 1213 01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:27,479 Speaker 1: allow yourself to feel the present moment and not trying 1214 01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,800 Speaker 1: to get ten steps out run your pain, you know, 1215 01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:32,880 Speaker 1: but just to be in there. But I think it 1216 01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:38,280 Speaker 1: takes a very evolved Type seven to be at the arapist. 1217 01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:41,880 Speaker 1: I would say it takes someone that I mean, wouldn't 1218 01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:45,920 Speaker 1: You're trying a lot of like sitting in pain for 1219 01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:49,360 Speaker 1: type like it's just there's a lot of heaviness and 1220 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,400 Speaker 1: I think it takes a lot of a lot of 1221 01:11:51,439 --> 01:11:54,080 Speaker 1: sobriety for type seven to be able to do that. 1222 01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,479 Speaker 1: I mean, for afore, it's like the water we swim in. 1223 01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:03,479 Speaker 1: It's so dreamy, right ark emotions tell me over the top. 1224 01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:05,920 Speaker 1: But I think for time sevens it can be you know, 1225 01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:09,479 Speaker 1: difficult on the on the other extreme, yeah, totally, so 1226 01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:12,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much, and I have a wonderful Yeah, 1227 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:15,120 Speaker 1: happy Thanksgiving and I appreciate you and this was so 1228 01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:16,840 Speaker 1: fun by okay bye