WEBVTT - Honeymoon Phase 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:17.960 and The Black Effect. Oh shit, be back on the air, 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:20.560 Welcome back to You had another catholic Reckless episode, which 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:25.840 girls hilarious. We're going to jump straight and these stories 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:29.440 have been shorter, so yes, I've been able to read them. 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:32.760 Y'all know, Taylor is really only here when the stories 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:36.120 are long. As a bitch. Andy come from her friends. Yes, 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:41.240 that girl got a crazy craziness to friends. Hopefully I 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.720 can help them all. Taylor is a handful by her 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.960 damn self, but I don't have her reading like David 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.600 like two weeks so off just so she can brush 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.200 up on her skills, you know. So we're gonna jump 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:59.600 straight into it. Here we are, Hi, Jess. So I've 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.560 been dating this guy for about six months and things 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.560 just get better over time. I'm going, that's right. We 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.400 always do things to keep the connection there and date 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.119 each other as if we were still trying to win 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:12.639 each other over to keep the spark. Oh, I like that. 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.280 That's nice. That's what a lot of these mergers should 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.640 be doing. Okay, Recently I got back in touch with 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:20.520 some good old friends of mine and have been going 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:24.080 out a little more than usual, which he loved at first, 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.640 but now I could tell it's starting to bother him. 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:30.520 Just let me tell you this, Jess. I'm literally with 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:32.800 this man all the time and give him all of 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:35.760 my time every time I do have time, okay time. 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.280 I just don't understand why this would be a problem. 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:42.040 It started about three weeks ago when I came in 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:44.319 from a girl's night and yes, I was drunk as hell, 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.360 but that's what happens when you go out and have 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:49.600 a good time. Yeah. I come in the house and 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.840 the first thing he says to me is you've been drinking. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:55.560 Damn as clear as day. I've been drinking. But why 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:57.920 is it a problem? Is what I said to him, 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.280 And he shook his head and walked off. Girl, completely 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.400 threw my energy off, so I just went to bed. 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.680 Another time is when he invited me out to breakfast 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.760 one morning and I told him I had plans with 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.880 my friend later that evening. He still had a problem 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:14.680 with that. It's not like I canceled on him. I 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:16.600 just told him that I had plans that evening and 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:21.360 he completely started giving me attitude, which was really sassy. Hey, 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:26.880 don't lessen ladies, Stop throwing a fucking sassy word around 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:28.240 for some of these men, because a lot of shit 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:31.720 that y'all be saying be sassy don't ain't really be sassy. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.160 Y'all just got a problem with men that have a 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.919 problem with the shit that y'all be doing. That'll mean 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.800 the niggas sassy all the time, and everybody got problems 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.120 with everybody. Don't agree with everything, but stop throwing that 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:45.640 sassy word around. I hate that shit, all right. I 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.520 mean there's some sassy niggas out here, some sassy behaviors 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.720 by these men out here. Yeah, but everything is not 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:54.840 sassy now. I felt like I have to hesitate to 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.080 even tell him that I'm going out. But it shouldn't 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.119 be like that. It shouldn't have to be like that. 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.200 Question is how do I approach him with a conversation 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:05.560 like this to figure out what exactly is the problem? 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:11.600 Any advice? Okay, so this is not all that bad. Okay, 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:15.280 you have like an easier case, I would say, in 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:21.200 my opinion, I do feel that maybe because it's so abrupt, 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.440 I feel like it's it's probably out of the norm 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.120 of your pattern, Like you have a normal pattern. It's 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:28.880 not what he's used to. And this just kind of 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:30.680 came out of nowhere. You even said it. You know, 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.919 you said, I recently got back in touch with some old, 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:36.119 good old friends of mine. You know what I mean 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:39.720 that you probably used to, like really really running my 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.480 fucking streets with when you were single or in your 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.320 younger days or whatever. You know, you didn't tell me 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.120 how old you were, But I'm just saying that really 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:48.640 don't even matter. But like, you know what happens when 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.320 you get caught up with them good old friends. You 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.840 know what I'm saying. See the keywords is good old 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.080 Like you ain't say I caught back up with my 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.840 couple of my friends that you know, you said good 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:04.080 old friends. Honey, you g O O D O L 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.280 good old so y'all used to have a good old 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.280 time everywhere y'all fucking went. I know what that's like, 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:13.400 you know what I'm saying. And those are the friends 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.640 that I don't really hang with anymore. We talk, but 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:19.400 I don't hang out with them anymore because I'm not 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:22.400 really looking for them good old times I used to 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:26.279 have back in the day before shit really started mattering 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:30.880 to me, you know, going out drinking, coming in all 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:33.960 hours of the night and shit like that, like, you know, 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.680 really living life like we was living in college dorms. 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.800 You know what I'm saying, Like those those things, it 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:45.000 sounds like he is just more of a traditional guy. 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:47.360 I could say, you said things get better with time. 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.920 Y'all are constantly trying to, like, you know, reinvent ways 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:54.120 that y'all can keep the spark, you know, by by 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.960 staying in love with each other, complimenting each other, doing 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:58.919 whatever that you guys do. Because you didn't really go 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:00.919 into depth with that, but I know what that means. 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:02.640 You know, you guys don't want to lose the spark. 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:07.159 You're happy he was happy. But I'm gonna challenge you 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:09.839 here because you even told me that he was happy 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.240 for you reconnecting with your good old friends at first, 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:17.000 and then he wasn't anymore. He didn't really seem thrilled 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.000 about it anymore. I bet you what happened is that 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.400 you started going out a lot a lot, a lot 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:25.599 a lot and not spending that much time at home. Now, 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:30.360 I also can empathize with you as a woman when 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.840 you say, yo, I'm around him all the time, like 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:36.320 you know, but it wasn't a problem for you until 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:40.760 you got caught up with your good old friends, you know, 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:43.880 So maybe that can be a conversation, not maybe that 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:46.839 should be the conversation. You know. I spend all my 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:49.800 time with you, baby, you know, before even meeting back 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.120 up with my friends or reconnected with my friends, you know, 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:55.040 which you thought was great for me. It was just us. 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:57.040 It was you and I. It was you know, because 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.560 I'm like that in my relationship now. You know, I 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.240 don't want to run the streets. I mean, I'll go 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:03.440 out here and there, well since I've been pregnant, even 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:06.839 doing shit. But before then, yeah, like I'm a fun girl, 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:08.120 you know. I do like to hang out with my 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.560 best friend, my cousins, my homegirls. I have like a 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.120 very very small tight circle. Everybody doing their own thing. 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.960 Everybody got their own business, everybody work, everybody, you know. 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:20.400 But on those times where we come together, we come together, 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.719 and then a lot of times we double date, you know, 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.719 and we'll triple date. We'll have game night at our house. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.120 You know, y'all just have to come to a medium 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:31.080 about it. You know. See, if he's open to like 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:34.719 game nights at chall house with your friends, and he 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.440 has friends, you know, does he have friends that he 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.839 hangs out with? You know, does he have guys nights 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.159 and shit like that? Maybe that's also a suggestion that 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.920 you can have. You know, if he has friends, Yo, 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:48.839 how about you you hang out with your guys. I 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:50.800 hang out with my girls. You know, how about we 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:55.240 do like a joint thing where we'll have game nights. 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.760 You know, how about we double date? We go out 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:03.320 with my friends and their significant others or whoever they would. 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:05.360 You know, unless all them bitches are single, done, that's 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:07.840 a problem, because that's what his problem at If all 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:09.600 I'm single and all they doing is going out, is 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:13.600 working and drinking and shit, m you know, it ain't 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:19.600 really nothing left to do other than getting into some 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.280 shit at that you've been drinking, it's t working and 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.840 coming from the club all night. If that's all y'all doing. 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.760 You know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying so I 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.480 understand you, but I also understand him as well. You 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:32.840 have to give him some grace. You just went from 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:37.080 being his being around him so much and you know, 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:41.600 soaking up each other's energy, and like how your message 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:44.760 started off, Like I'm been thinking this guy for six 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.720 months and then y'all still early in this shit. You 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.480 know what I'm saying, like, don't get round your motherfucker 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:53.040 home girls and had them bitches criticizing your relationship and 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:56.320 have you second guessing your relationship. You give what I'm 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.160 saying because that could happen to a lot of people. 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.400 Can be an influence. And these your good old friends. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:04.880 I ain't gonna never stop saying it like that. They 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:08.400 your good old friends, your bitches from back in the diday, 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.840 you know. And also if they ain't got what you got, 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:16.520 then it's gonna show. You know what I'm saying. You 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:18.480 want a relationship, you gotta remember that at the end 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.720 of the day, you can't live like you used to, 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.640 you know what I'm saying, You can't, especially if you're 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:28.080 telling me things get better over time. You know, we 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.520 always do things to keep the connection there and date 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.560 each other and all that type shit. Yeah, and at 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.880 first you wasn't this fun go party to go lucky 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:38.880 girl and shit, you know, and they're out of nowhere. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:42.280 You just became that. So he just wanted to know 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:44.560 that he ain't gonna lose you to that party shit. 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.679 You know, he don't want to be looked at like 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:50.960 no sump neither. You know. Have you introduced him to 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.959 your friends? That's another thing to you. Oh, by the way, 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:55.720 this is the guy I've been telling y'all about this, 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.040 the guy I've been up under since you know, reconnecting 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.840 with you guys, before reconnecting with you guys. This is 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.400 the love of my life. I feel whatever, you know, 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:10.120 whatever you want to say, but make him still feel 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.560 like y'all in a relationship, you give what I'm saying, 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.440 and just give him some grades like fastes. That night 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.400 you say when you came in and he was like, 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.800 damn even drinking. That was the first thing he said. 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:25.920 Imagine how many times you came in like that? Just 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.800 imagine how many times you came in like that? Because 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:30.440 I feel like you went from not going out at 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.280 all to going out a whole lot. And you gotta 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.679 gradually change your pattern, if that's what you know, and 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:39.600 keep that open line of communication, like, baby, it's been fine. 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:41.720 I love being with you. I didn't think that I 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:43.720 was actually gonna have this much fun being with them. 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.040 I miss my friends, but I miss you. What I'm 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:48.400 out to like, you have to find a balance with 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.440 that shit, you know, because everybody ain't going for that. 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:55.800 So find your balance. Don't lose your man, you know. 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:59.280 Don't lose your friends either, but definitely don't lose yourself, 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:02.319 you know. But don't lose your mad because you want 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.200 to go out and be out here partying and shit, 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.560 don't do that. Get back with me though, all right, 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.520 if you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:11.760 then we'll be right back. 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:16.800 And moving on. 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.560 Good evening. Just let's get straight into it. Oh, I 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.040 love somebody, get straight into it. So I'm a sucker 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.800 for love and also have a record of falling in 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.760 love too fast. I used to be like that. I 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.880 used to be like that, well fast forward. I've been 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.280 in a consistent relationship for about four months, and I 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:38.240 love the way things are going. All these early birds, 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.520 all these early bird newlywed honeymoon people. I love it. 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.160 My family and friends love the way it's going, but 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:49.200 they don't seem very hopeful for me, like something is 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:51.960 going to happen, So it kind of makes it harder 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:56.160 for me to be more open with my relationships with them. 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.120 You sound like me, Oh my god. My mom and 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.439 my dad used to and they would get tired of 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.520 meeting niggas like, yo, he only going to be in 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.200 your life for three weeks. Stop I but I totally 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:08.240 get out totally. This is in my younger days, though 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:12.040 I glow about him all the time and even showing 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:15.600 change in myself, positive change. Whenever I would do that, 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.040 it would be a lot of frowned upon and speculating faces, 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.760 which isn't the energy that I'm looking for. I know 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.199 that they just want the best for me, but it 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.000 started to become a little bitter and making me feel 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:28.800 a type of way. I just want them to be 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.600 happy for me and support me through whatever as I 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.559 would with them. As of right now, I just be 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.120 living my life and enjoying my relationship. But this is 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:41.240 something that crosses my mind frequently because I do want 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.240 to start bringing him around and get him to interact 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.480 with my friends and family so they can see how 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.440 good of a guy he is, but they make it 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:50.959 so uncomfortable to do. So how do you think I 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:58.480 should handle this? Hm? Okay, I will say, you know, 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.440 I do understand. And first of all, y'all ain't even 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.280 letting me know your age is no more. I feel 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:07.839 like you're all young, and I feel like you're a 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.720 little young with a snapper, you know, same as I was. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.960 But whether young or not, this is the thing, This 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:21.280 is the deal. Okay, your family, it's probably tired of 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.240 meeting people, falling in love with these people, getting to 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:28.120 know these people, interacting with these people, building genuine bonds 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.640 with these people, you know, with these men or whatever 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:37.360 you know, or guys or whatever, and it's so short 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.240 lived the relationship, you know. So now we gotta cut 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.720 this man off. Now we gotta wonder if we should 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:45.520 put a foot in his ass because it's something he's 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:50.320 done to you now, you know, Because people's families don't 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.480 play about them. I mean, it's a lot of families 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:56.319 that ain't close, but that we're a family. People misconstrued 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:58.440 that I don't play about my fucking family. I got 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.960 a little sister, I don't play about I don't I 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:02.439 got a big brother. I don't play about it. I 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.400 got a big brother. They don't fucking play about me. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.480 My little sister don't play about me either. The relationship 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.800 before this one, that girl wanted to take that nigga 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.000 head off. Believe that, you know, and a little young 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.560 ass could do so you know, she could fight, she 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.440 could fight, you know, she get it from me. So 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.600 and then even a couple of her relationships, you know, 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.440 with her being twenty. You know, I'm not ever opposed 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.440 to meeting somebody. You know, I'm not ever opposed to 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.520 you know, I'm not oppositional about saying, oh, hello, how 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:32.320 you doing whatever, whatever, But I don't even like to 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.680 get to know people. So I definitely feel your family 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:36.800 on this, and I don't like to get to know 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.800 people and get close to them and then out of 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.920 no way, I see my baby sister crying or is 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.840 she breaking up with this person or she going through shit? 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:49.640 And rightfully, so, no relationship is ever going to be perfect. 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:52.640 None is perfect. You know, it's just keep it there. 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:56.679 You know. There's gonna be times where you're sad, you're frustrated, 0:13:56.840 --> 0:14:00.400 their arguments and they're but no one should be sitting 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.680 anywhere fucking crying because they feel like they're putting more 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:08.719 than they're you know, into a relationship than they're getting nobody. 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:10.840 So it's been like a couple of people I wanted 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.640 to put my mother fucking hands on, you know, when 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.840 it came to my sister and these are people that 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.400 I get to know and shit, you know, because she 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:24.520 is social butterfly. She She's a beautiful girl, creative, charming, 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:30.720 you know, she's just like me, Purri, you know, like Swaggy, 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.800 all that good person at heart. And she's a lover 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.720 you feel me. And people take advantage of that shit, 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:41.040 and when they do take advantage of it, you want 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.120 to do something about it, you know what I'm saying, 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:46.440 after you'dnt already met and started building a bond with 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:50.280 the person. Because this is, you know, your boyfriend or 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.800 this is your girlfriend, and I'm your family member. I 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:55.400 want to support you and all your happiness and your 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.520 success and how you feeling. But the moment somebody turned 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.680 on you, I'm at the front line like, yeah, that's right, 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.720 who the fuck need to be smack? You know? So 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.600 I definitely understand it. And then even in my case, 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.920 my mom didn't want to meet Chris, like right away, 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.800 she didn't. You know, I had a tendency of falling 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.160 in love very very fast, putting the title on shit 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.400 very fast before I fully got to know people. And 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:23.120 that's why my mom knows that I had She knew 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:24.720 that I had a pastor that you know I had 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.840 a history of that. Everybody knew that. My dad, he's 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.040 never said no, I don't want to meet such and such. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:31.960 I meet him, you know what I mean. But he 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:34.720 never really stepped too far in my relationships, you know. 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.520 My mom, she was like, Nope, don't introduce me to 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.680 nobody else until you notice is the person you're gonna 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.320 be with, because I'm tired of meeting people and I'm 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:44.640 tired of creating bonds with them, and then you get 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.240 upset with me because I don't cut them off when 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:48.920 you cut them off. You know, my mom's not that 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:52.480 type of person. I act like I never knew your 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.360 fucking ass half to dating you for three years, fuck like, 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:59.600 and I swear that's my ship right there, that's my 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:03.000 ship there. I will act like I never fucking seen 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:07.120 you before and speak to you again and introduce myself like, 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.160 how you know I ain't never seen you around here before. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.040 It'll be a whole ex I'm talking about. What excuse me? 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:12.400 How on? 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:12.880 Yeah? 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:17.080 No, the cutoff game is beyond extremely strong with me. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.720 So my mom shanet like that, you know what I mean. 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:23.320 So that's why she told me, Nah, didn't want to 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:26.040 meet your boyfriend didn't want to meet Chris until you 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.920 knew it was real, you know, and it ended up 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:31.640 being fucking real, so she had to meet him. You know, 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:35.480 I'm out of breath because I'm pregnant. But yeah, so 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:39.480 I understand your family side. Hold up, hold up, I 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.480 know this shit getting good, But listen to just a 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.680 couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:50.520 listen now. Understanding your side, I understand it because I've 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.120 been there. I know my little sister's been there. I 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.000 know my brother has been there. I know how that is. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.640 I know there's been times that we can't really see 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.080 the role ahead, you know, because we're so trusting, we're 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:07.280 so open, we're so quick to love on somebody, you 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:12.280 know that we forget to actually get to know them. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.280 You know what I'm saying, the first three or four 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:19.199 months that you're dating somebody, you ain't really dating that 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:22.480 person anyway. That's what I always say. You know, it's 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:25.200 a trial period. You know how you get a job 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.640 and it's a trial period. You know, you got ninety 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:34.320 days probation. You love your job, and then you slowly 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:38.760 but surely start to hate your job. You know what 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.800 I'm saying, because when you start saying everybody for what 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:44.440 they are, you start falling out with co workers. They're 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.879 asking you to do more, and then they hired you 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:49.520 to do you feel like you're underpaid and overwork and 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.679 shit like that. That usually comes after that ninety fucking days. 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:54.920 You know what I'm saying. That's the same with everything, 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:59.360 same with everything, same in a relationship, you know, because 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.159 nobody's gonna really show you who they are upfront, up front? 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.720 How are you when you're sick of being around a person? 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:10.720 How are you when your moody? How are you when 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.600 you in your period? How are you when you know 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.640 you don't get no pussy for weeks at a time 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.120 or days at a time. And how are you if 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.160 somebody make you mad? You know what I'm saying. Ain't 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.240 nobody gonna be focused on making you may trying to 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:25.080 make the person that you're fucking with for three months 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:27.040 mad in the first three months, you know what I'm saying, 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.840 Just because everything is just so great. You know, you 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:34.760 know you've been in this relationship for four months. You 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:39.760 get what I'm saying. So it's always good to take 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:43.000 your space too, Like, don't be up under a motherfucker 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.800 all the time, because then you'll get tired of that person. 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:48.560 That's what happened with me. I would get tired a niggas, 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:50.600 and the same thing that I thought was cute about 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:55.200 a nigga in the first two months would be devastatingly 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:59.320 tacky about the same nigga. Same shit he been doing, 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.800 same but he's been wearing the same socks he been 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:04.560 wearing with the hole in the bottom I used to 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:06.440 think was cute. Now I thank you, bum Like all 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.159 everything his mother, I thought his mother was cool. She 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.960 a clown now, like every Listen, that's why you got 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.800 to get to know people, and you don't get to 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:18.080 know nobody in four months. You know what I mean. 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:23.080 It's people that are newlyweds, I mean married, that are 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:25.600 still getting to know each other. Me and my boyfriend 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:29.159 are still getting to know each other. Right now, you 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.560 get what I'm saying. Every relationship is different. I'm not 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.480 comparing yours to mine. All I can do is give 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:37.239 you my experience, you know, and give you what I 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:40.359 think we've beneficial to you. You know, as far as 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:43.119 you needing advice about it, don't be so hard on 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:46.320 your family. You know, because they love you and they 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.760 want to protect you no matter the fuck what, and 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:52.160 they want to help protect your feelings. Sometimes you gotta 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.159 let people go through things. I had to get like 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:56.320 that with my little sister. Should let her go through things, 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:59.040 you know, because people let me go through things. When 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.800 I was younger, I thought, but I thought every boyfriend 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:04.080 I had from the time I was what eighteen to 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:10.040 fucking twenty five was the one? Was the one? Right? 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.680 Silly me? But then not silly. Mean, when you're young, 0:20:14.600 --> 0:20:18.280 you ignore red flags. You got the blinders on you 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.040 get you know what I'm saying. So girl, I just 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.520 want to let you know that, don't be so hot 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:30.359 in your family and then share your experience with just you. 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:35.199 You know, love on yourself, love on that person, but 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:39.120 love on yourself more, you know, not saying be selfish 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:43.119 with that person. But you know, cause it could be 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:45.600 you too. It ain't got to always be the other person. 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:47.840 It could be your ass, you know what I'm saying. 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:52.200