WEBVTT - Bringing Sexy Back 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.360 This is how men think? With Brooks like and Gavin 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.080 to grab and I hear radio podcast this is how 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.760 men think? And this is Amy, Tori and Danielle and 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:14.480 we have taken over the show because Brooks and Gavin 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.160 are traveling. They will be back next week. Don't worry. 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:22.720 But we have come up with something that no one 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.720 has seen and we're doing what we call a crossover episode. 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:29.880 So Tory, Danielle and I also produce Intimate Knowledge with 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:33.160 Brooke Burke and Megan King Edmonds, and they are going 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:35.879 to do the exact same thing that you guys are 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.240 about to do, and they don't know what's happening either. 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:46.440 We are going to ask you fifteen pretty wild questions 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.920 about sex and we need you guys to give totally 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:55.880 true answers so we can learn the male perspective and 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.840 then the intimate knowledge ladies are going to do the 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.600 exact same questions so we can understand how women think. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.919 What do you guys think? Can we block my mom's 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.840 subscription to the podcast before we answer these? Um, your 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:13.400 mom doesn't listen, You're fine, Yeah, we love it. Let's 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:17.479 do it. Let's go. So we have had Brooke, Megan, 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:20.000 and Leela, the host of Intimate Knowledge, ask you guys 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.400 the questions and you will do the same for them. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:24.480 So after you listen to this episode, click over to 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:27.520 Intimate Knowledge and you can hear the ladies perspective. So 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:31.479 are you guys ready, Yeah, of course, ladies take it away. 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:34.240 Hi boys, it's the girls from Intimate Knowledge and it's 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.720 about to get real. It's Brooke, it's Megan, and I'm 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:41.679 Sex and Intimacy Coach Leela Deville. Here we go. First question, 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:44.240 who taught you the most about sex and how to 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.279 please a partner? I would have to say that would 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:53.040 be Um, I guess that would be To be honest, 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:54.680 I think I kind of learned as I went, so 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.120 I think i'd have to give credit to anybody that 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:58.559 I had been with. I think I took a little 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.680 bit of knowledge along the way. Um, it's not like 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:04.400 someone just blessed me with the knowledge of how to 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:07.360 please a partner. I think I had to build up 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:08.720 to that stuff in here a little bit. I think 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:10.440 it had to do with like you're hanging out talking 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:13.160 to your buddies and like he hooked up with a girl, 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:14.920 and what did he do? And how did you do? 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:16.400 It and all that kind of stuff, and you hear 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.959 stories and guys are just hanging out talking and then 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.519 like what Dmitri saying, is your personal experience by taking 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:26.360 those stories, or maybe it's some watching a movie. You know, 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.359 what is what is James Bond doing with his hands 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.920 while he's kissing what's her name? I'm just saying, Wow, 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:38.000 that was that got me going. I had I think 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:43.160 it was my best friend Andrew. He he deemed himself 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:48.320 the quote unquote click commander and I'm just being real. 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:51.160 And so he was the master at finding it and 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:54.080 I was curious where that was back in the day 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:57.360 and still him now, to be honest with you, but 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.520 he he was like the master of anatomy. He was 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:05.200 like studying the vagina and knew everything about like where 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.160 the cervix was and you don't want to hit the 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:10.840 cervix and the clitoris is here and the labya, this 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:12.280 is what you gotta do here. And he was like 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.800 a freaking surgeon. He was out of his time. Andrew 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:20.440 what's his name? And email? How many times do you 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:29.600 want to be intimate each week? Three? Five? I'd say 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:33.320 three intimate meaning having sex. It was intimate could be 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:37.200 other things. But yeah, if we're talking about just straight sex, 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:40.640 then yeah, three to four. I think three or four. Yeah, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.240 but we're talking seven day right, not work week. So yeah, 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:45.200 I mean five is fine, but I've told you before, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.160 it's got to fit in with like I can't just 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.560 have woken up because then I gotta go to the bathroom, 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:52.880 and then I can't be hungry because then I can't 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.000 have sex, and then I can't have just eaten because 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:58.080 I'm full. And wait, we're not planning this for you. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:03:59.720 This was just how often do you want to eat? 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:01.720 Endeling is on your own. I'm telling you there's a 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.520 thirty minute window and every day, so it's tougher. You 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.680 don't need thirty minutes. Go. What's next, ladies, what's your 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:14.480 naughtiest sexual fantasy? Oh god, I mean these are tough. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:17.400 They're not something that you can just off the top 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:19.599 of this. This is the point of the whole show. Guys. 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:21.359 You're also talking to guys that have been married for 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.040 fifteen years. I think we've given up on the idea 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:27.159 of fantasy. I mean I would say, yeah, laying on 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:30.160 a beach with two chicks, but I mean it's Sandy. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.400 I mean, come on, like, no going back to the 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:36.400 air conditioning hotel room. I mean there's something, there's something 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.599 to be said about, you know, doing it somewhere where 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.520 you could get caught. But you know, maybe you know, 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.840 ducking away at at a cocktail party or something. Yeah, 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.640 I think I think the public thing in a like 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.520 an address um, changing room or something where you're in 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:55.200 public and you're not supposed to be doing that. They 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.839 initially you say to yourself, like the threesome thing in 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:02.320 theory sounds good. But the again, the guilt you would 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:09.599 have with that process would be, dude, okay, okay, here 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.200 you got a bed, You've got two amazingly hot chicks. 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:15.440 You're standing in the corner or you're on a chair 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:17.360 in the corner. You're kind of doing your thing. You're 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.600 what you're directing them, you're letting them do their stuff. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.360 You're talking about them, you're talking to them, you're telling 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.080 them what you like. At the same time, you're but 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:29.039 is your wife one of the two women? Of course, 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:34.839 of course shaking his head. You can't ask him that, 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.400 you can't ask. And then it's about like and then 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.960 jumping in with them and direct you know and them 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:44.080 telling you what they have trouble with conversations with three people, 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:46.640 like if there's a car, like if you're in the 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.200 front seat, you gotta turn to keep talking to it. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:50.520 It's a lot of there's a lot to think about 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:52.960 the rest period. Come on, you gotta take a break. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.159 That sounds that's a fantasy. I would just be I 0:05:56.160 --> 0:06:00.240 would be stressed at like, Okay, have I have I 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.520 given my wife enough attention here? Like am I now 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.520 with this other person? And she like wall, he looks 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.720 like he's enjoying this too much, Like I can't enjoy 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:11.320 that too much because then tomorrow when this person goes away, 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.920 it's back to like, oh, you really missed. I don't 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.560 think you bring your wife into this wife in those positions. 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.120 When you're with your wife in those positions, you've already 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.760 had the discussion where those feelings or those that scenario 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:27.560 does not play out. You're not thinking about that, and 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:29.440 you guys have already figured it out and you're like 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:33.080 you both want to do it, so you're not like, oh, yeah, 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.839 he's having her better, more fun with her, that's gone. 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:39.479 But he's so uptight to begin with. I think for 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.239 wild fantasy. Don't make it real. Don't put your wives 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.120 into this. Just think about that they're asking. They asked us, 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:47.640 what's your wildest fantasy. Now you're making it real and 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:49.599 you're taking away from the fantasy part of it. The 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.039 role playing thing, I think is is interesting to me 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:56.479 as well. YEA, each of you playing somebody that you're not, 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:01.240 like being something and somebody that you're not is different. 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.440 Kind of like she's the cheerleader and you're the guy 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.479 that the football team picked on and she felt bad for, 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:09.119 so she kind of gives you extra attention. That's unrelata. Sorry, 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:14.080 I couldn't imagine that, my bad. What famous person would 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.760 you want to haul pass to sleep with? Brooke Burke? 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:22.800 Nothing to do with this being a crossover episode, right, 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:27.800 I don't know what you're talking about. I always think 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:29.880 about that with my wife when we have the conversation 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.520 we used to before we had kids, Like when we 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.960 were driving over from Taho and we're sitting in traffic, like, okay, 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.840 who would you bone? Like who would you want to 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.160 have sex with? Like brad Pin or Leo or whatever, 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:42.440 and like and then like I'm setting up the question 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.080 to be like, let me tell you who I want 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:46.160 to do that with, you know, And it's like, oh God, 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:50.440 Christie Brinkley and all these you know. Um, I'm just 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.760 trying to think of right now, I'm thinking about who 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.280 that would be. But can I tell you something? Yeah? Please? 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:58.720 So I've done this and again this is me being neurotic, 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:00.800 I realized, but like in my head, when that question 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:02.720 is posted and we've done this ourselves, and she would 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:06.240 say Bill Ransick. And interestingly enough, we ran into Bill 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.680 Ransick like four times at Whole Foods in l A. 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.120 And I'm like, this is actually a possibility because we've 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.920 seen this dude now four times. Like so in my 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:17.080 head when she asked me that question, I'll say, she's 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.680 my wife is tall and blonde. So I'll be like, Okay, 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.080 I need to pick another tall blonde because if I 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:24.200 pick a short brunette, then she's gonna be like, that 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:27.520 is the complete opposite of me. So this is screwed. 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:30.200 So because I used to think Mila Kunis and forgetting 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:33.319 Sarah Marshall, I'm like, she was unreal. But she's short 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:35.560 and brunette, which is the opposite of my wife. And 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:39.520 is that going to be weird to pick someone that can. Yeah, 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:44.520 I like Kate Upton interesting money. I don't know because 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:46.400 I get lost in a nostalgia thing. But maybe like 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.360 a Kate back and sell Um. To be honest, for 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:50.959 the first three episodes of the show, I thought you 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.640 were Bill Ransick, so as I understand what she's coming from. 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.000 It is a random one. During sex, what noises or 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:07.160 words get you the most turned on? Oh, Dmitri? I 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.319 think he said, Oh Dmitri, you go first. I would say, 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.920 like heavy breathing, this feels so good. I love what 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:16.880 you're doing to me. Um, those are the things that 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.079 start getting you going, and like this feels so good, 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:26.040 and be harder, and there's something this is what's so funny? 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:33.559 I mean, is it in yet? That's always a good one? 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:39.280 Is it over? Wake me up when you're finished. I 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:43.400 don't know. These are all they're all close. How comfortable 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:48.199 are you with public displays of affection? Explain? I'm fine 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:50.160 with with basic stuff, but I don't like it to 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:51.800 be I don't like it to get to a point 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.240 where it's almost like people are watching me inside my house. 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:55.760 Like if you want, if you want to do a kiss, 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:57.400 you want to hold hands it's fine, but I don't 0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.079 I don't want to be grabbed in public. I don't 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:01.319 want people seeing thinking like, oh I know what goes on? 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.920 That to me, that's too much. Rick. I don't think 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.760 like making out in public is totally necessary. I mean, 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:09.520 I feel like I'm at the age now where it's not. 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:12.560 I just I don't need to do that. Um. I 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:16.200 think holding hands or showing signs of affection in public, 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:20.679 that's that's more attractive now than like, oh yeah, we're 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.679 gonna go on the corner and you know and grab 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:24.880 a nice kiss. Like that's not those days are sort 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:28.280 of over making out at our age making out and 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:31.640 you're way way older than me, but making out as weird, 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:34.559 like well, it makes other people uncomfortable also, and it's 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:36.280 like I don't like when other people are like groping 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:38.440 each other like making out. It's like all right, I 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.640 will say, like making up makes me super horny, interesting 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:44.240 you want, but not in public. I want to say, 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:47.559 that's kind of what starts the freaking everything. One thing like, yes, 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.120 that the one thing I would say is like if 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:53.439 going back to where you would want to have sex 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:55.319 or in a public place, being kind of like you're 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.600 not supposed to do it, like walking in a public 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:02.120 place and like grabbing her ass and like looking around 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.320 to see did anybody see that? Is like a little 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.040 taste of like I like, is somebody going to see that? 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.360 What are they going to think? Like? What does she think? Is? 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.880 It's a little taste that, But not in the sense 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:14.280 of someone else seeing, but I like that in the 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:17.079 sense of sending a message like hey, I'm thinking about 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.000 this right now, and it's kind of like, oh, you 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:21.600 know what, maybe when we get home, we've we've both 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.679 been thinking about it this whole if we're not hungry 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.640 or didn't just eat lunch. But yes, you have to 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:29.880 stoke the fire. Yeah, yeah, you know what person from 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.960 your high school would you want most to booty call 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:41.920 you today? I don't think we can. Laura Thompson, uh 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:47.320 miss Pisco literally my maths teacher in tenth grade. She 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.960 had just graduated from Penn State, and I remember I 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:51.840 was like, how old is she? She looks like she 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:55.559 could be my peer, Like did she? And she came 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:57.760 in one day She's like sorry, I'm like, guys, I 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:00.600 lost my license over the weekend. I'm like, hey, She's 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:04.200 like out hitting it hard, like lost her license. I'm like, 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.520 miss Pisco can teach me the pythagorant theorem and get 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.320 down like miss Pisco. So I don't know where she's 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.600 like that. That's good. Yeah, I don't know. I mean 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.440 like probably like most guys. I'd say probably Jeanette Hayne. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:21.480 Why did she ask for my number? Where would you 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:26.199 like to have sex besides the bedroom? Like inside the 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.920 house or you mean yeah, inside the house, outside the house, 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:37.280 in the office. Come on, ladies, a little bit more detail. Um. 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:39.600 The garage is always kind of cool. I mean, like 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:45.920 you write by your workbench at the same time. But no, 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:47.880 it's like you get out from a date, you pull 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:49.599 into the garage, if you're parking your car in the 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:51.640 garage and you know, you're walking to the door to 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.440 get into the house, and like think, you know, you 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:55.400 kind of like start going right then and there, and 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.560 I think there's something to be said. It's kind of sexy. 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.400 And then you don't need to like finish there. You 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.600 go in and start going against the wall, and then 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.840 you start then you make your way up to the bedroom. 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:08.599 I think there's something to be said about taking a 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.560 room that's not fun. And given it that kind of spin. 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.560 So like spin for instance, like your kids room. But 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:16.199 if you go like the laundry room. Listen, you don't 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:17.760 like doing laundry, right, but then every time you go 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:19.360 to the laundry like, oh, remember the time we did 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.440 it in here? That's true. Yeah, that's true to me. 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:24.240 It's like it sounds great in theory, oh on the 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:26.640 dining room table, but it's like, that's not that's that's 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:30.160 something that happens in the movies. It's not comfortable. It 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:36.360 hurts our best sex is like in a in a 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:40.160 nice hotel room when everything is nice and like different, 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.560 and then I can get into a nice robe afterwards, 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.280 and there is something about a hotel room. Yeah, and 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.280 then sit on the porch and smoke us to Togi 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:51.560 or something and drink a scotch and yeah, go to 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:57.080 bed by eight. What conversation have you been putting off 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:00.240 in your relationship? I mean just in general all or 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.959 this is this? Are you guys asking aumily about sex? 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:04.679 So I mean, if we're not talking about sex, I 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.679 would probably say kind of the future, you know, like 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.120 what's going to happen when the kids are in college 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.840 and they're graduating in places like that, you know, and 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:17.199 they move on and wear empty nests basically. So like 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.560 for me, it's what eight years away, and I'm already 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:22.360 kind of thinking about it. And I grew up in 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.280 southern California and I've been visiting here a lot more recently, 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:28.640 and I'm getting back to see my folks, and I'm 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:30.720 enjoying what I where I live and grew up, and 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.200 I'm really love l A and I love Orange County. 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.160 And so we recently had a conversation on the way 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.560 home from one of our during over the holidays, and 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.480 I was like, hey, like, what do you think is 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.880 gonna happen in eight years when the kids are in 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:47.840 college and we're back here in Oakland and you know, 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.280 like I really like that lifestyle. You know, I chose 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.160 the worst time to think to talk about it. We've 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.040 just been on a road trip for like seven hours 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:58.400 and pulling into the garage, you know, and it was like, Hy, 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.520 that was a fun trip, Like I think gonna move 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:03.320 down there. She was like absolutely not, you know, And 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:07.200 then we got into like more of the well, I mean, 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.480 what about jobs. I'm like, well, I can work anywhere. 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.920 It doesn't really matter, and you could you know, hopefully 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.360 by that time we're in a position where you could 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:16.640 we could figure something out and or maybe we split 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:20.000 the time. And um, I know that feeling like you 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.520 you work up, you have this great conversation in your head, 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.040 and you throw it at the wrong time. You're like, 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.680 I just shot that whole thing. Now, She's never going 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.440 to take that seriously totally, and I'm serious about it, 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.600 Like I want to live down in Orange County for 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.680 six months out of the year, why not? Like, I 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:35.360 love going on the beach. I love going And she 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.520 was like, I love riding my bike on the boardwalk. 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:38.920 I love going to the beach and hanging out. And 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:42.280 she was like, and I actually appreciate it, was honest. 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:45.960 She was like, I don't like that. And I was like, oh, okay, 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:47.960 So do you want to stay in Oakland and keep 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.760 going to this place in this place, in this place 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:52.480 and doing that for the next rest of our lives. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:54.360 I'm like, I don't really feel like doing that either. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.080 And so thank god we got home and the kids 0:15:58.240 --> 0:15:59.880 jumped out of the car, and so the conversation and 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.040 but that kids are in the car for that there 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:07.640 at their headphones on um, but yeah, it was. It's 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.200 so that's crazy. That's if you don't mind me saying, 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.360 that's a pretty big because you let off with what 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:15.120 happens when the kids are out of the house. So 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.760 then it's a matter of have we grown apart? Like 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:20.840 are we different people now? Is there something do we 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.880 even have? I felt like that was sort of like 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.320 the very tip of that conversation, and and it's like, 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.920 what are we going to do when that happens? And 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:31.480 I think the other thing I felt at the time 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.880 was like, have you thought about this? I don't think 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.480 she's ever thought about that, Like what happens in eight 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.960 years where I'm like, oh, I'm coming down here, I'm 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.400 I'm friends with all of you guys. I'm hanging out. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.720 I'm seeing my folks, my brother and my sister, and 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.760 it's I know, it's easy to get back and forth, 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:49.920 and I don't mind the drive or the flight. It's like, 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.840 why not do this? Like life is short? We need 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:57.440 to sort of start doing this stuff now. And that 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.800 I don't know if that's something that has started to 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:05.000 register and I want it to. I definitely wanted to 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.119 and I'm fine with where where we live like I 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.520 obviously I love the area. You know, there's things that 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:12.920 i'm I have a great friend base there, and there's 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:15.320 things that I do that I enjoy of course, um, 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:17.960 but I want both. You know what scares me about 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:21.080 that conversation with that thought is that I get what 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.720 you said. You said, what conversation do we not have 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.200 or do we avoid? Is down the road? Right, Yes, 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.879 I don't because our lives are so busy with the 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.960 four kids and work and all this. I feel that 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.679 same way, except it's not even down the road, Like 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:38.240 I don't. We we don't have conversations about what's coming 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:40.080 up in the future. It's basically like put your head 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.640 down and get through the day, get through the week, 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.480 and so we don't have conversations is like what's happened 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.520 in the summer until we get to like may like. So, 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.480 to be honest, it's a it's a bit unsettling because 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:53.360 you never discussed the future. And I don't mean necessarily 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:55.200 when the kids are gone, because that's a long ways away. 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.760 But we don't discuss the future at all. It's always 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:59.600 just like, let's just get through this, and that's like, well, 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.439 we just keep getting through stuff. I feel the exact 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.160 same way. And with summer coming up now it's our 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:07.600 spring coming on, and then summer, it's like we know 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.240 what the kids are doing, and I want to plan 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.360 like these other little sidebar trips and and I don't 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.240 know if that if that's a part of what she's thinking, 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.440 you know, even though like I almost think she thinks 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:18.800 I just kind of come up with these ideas and 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:20.800 I'm like, let's drive all the way to Oregon and 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:23.919 drop the kids off to camp and fish along the way. Well, like, 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.680 to me, that sounds incredible. Dmitri and Ryan, you guys 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:31.879 are right invited. But I want her to be thinking 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.159 about that, right But and again that's the conversation you 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:40.359 put off. Yep, my wife has been, uh she after 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.880 going through the sickness of our of our newborn recently 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:46.560 she said, I honestly am at my at the at 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:48.840 my breaking point. I just need two nights away with 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:52.720 like my girlfriends soon or else I'm gonna lose it. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.959 And I have been putting that off forever, and I 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.119 kicked that can down the road every time it's brought up, 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:02.000 because that stresses me out to no end to think 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.239 that I'd be home for two nights by myself with 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:06.720 the two kids, so I continue to try to put 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:07.879 that off. Do you want me to come over with 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.199 the four kids? No, I don't trust you. Let me 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:12.639 just tell you can totally do it. Thank you for 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:14.600 the vote of confidence. Means a lot coming from you. R. 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:26.360 Do you enjoy spanking or being spanked? I don't know. No, 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:30.840 I've never been a spank or a spanky that's that's 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:32.720 really worked. I don't. I'm not huge on that type 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:35.240 of discipline. I'm not saying no discipline at all, but 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:37.520 that that I've never gotten to that role. And I 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:40.280 don't know. You don't talk about you don't like slapping 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:44.960 that ass, bro? No, I guess not. It's so awesome. 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.920 It's just but that's when I hear when I hear spanking, 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:52.520 I went. I guess I went to role playing. It's like, 0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.600 I don't want to pretend like you're a kid. It's 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:59.720 basically that's where it gets weird. No, and and you 0:19:59.800 --> 0:20:04.800 know what I mean, like spanking, but I think in 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:07.679 a nice way as we're having sex and being in 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:10.639 the moment, like slapping is totally fine as long as 0:20:10.640 --> 0:20:12.480 you're doing it with the right Do you answer the 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.679 question that do you prefer to be the spank I know, 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:18.639 I always like, I don't think that. I don't want 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:21.800 to get spanked. Same here, I want to be always 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:26.240 in a dominant role and not being submissive and being spanked, 0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:28.240