Speaker 1: This is how men think? With Brooks like and Gavin
Speaker 1: to grab and I hear radio podcast this is how
Speaker 1: men think? And this is Amy, Tori and Danielle and
Speaker 1: we have taken over the show because Brooks and Gavin
Speaker 1: are traveling. They will be back next week. Don't worry.
Speaker 1: But we have come up with something that no one
Speaker 1: has seen and we're doing what we call a crossover episode.
Speaker 1: So Tory, Danielle and I also produce Intimate Knowledge with
Speaker 1: Brooke Burke and Megan King Edmonds, and they are going
Speaker 1: to do the exact same thing that you guys are
Speaker 1: about to do, and they don't know what's happening either.
Speaker 1: We are going to ask you fifteen pretty wild questions
Speaker 1: about sex and we need you guys to give totally
Speaker 1: true answers so we can learn the male perspective and
Speaker 1: then the intimate knowledge ladies are going to do the
Speaker 1: exact same questions so we can understand how women think.
Speaker 1: What do you guys think? Can we block my mom's
Speaker 1: subscription to the podcast before we answer these? Um, your
Speaker 1: mom doesn't listen, You're fine, Yeah, we love it. Let's
Speaker 1: do it. Let's go. So we have had Brooke, Megan,
Speaker 1: and Leela, the host of Intimate Knowledge, ask you guys
Speaker 1: the questions and you will do the same for them.
Speaker 1: So after you listen to this episode, click over to
Speaker 1: Intimate Knowledge and you can hear the ladies perspective. So
Speaker 1: are you guys ready, Yeah, of course, ladies take it away.
Speaker 1: Hi boys, it's the girls from Intimate Knowledge and it's
Speaker 1: about to get real. It's Brooke, it's Megan, and I'm
Speaker 1: Sex and Intimacy Coach Leela Deville. Here we go. First question,
Speaker 1: who taught you the most about sex and how to
Speaker 1: please a partner? I would have to say that would
Speaker 1: be Um, I guess that would be To be honest,
Speaker 1: I think I kind of learned as I went, so
Speaker 1: I think i'd have to give credit to anybody that
Speaker 1: I had been with. I think I took a little
Speaker 1: bit of knowledge along the way. Um, it's not like
Speaker 1: someone just blessed me with the knowledge of how to
Speaker 1: please a partner. I think I had to build up
Speaker 1: to that stuff in here a little bit. I think
Speaker 1: it had to do with like you're hanging out talking
Speaker 1: to your buddies and like he hooked up with a girl,
Speaker 1: and what did he do? And how did you do?
Speaker 1: It and all that kind of stuff, and you hear
Speaker 1: stories and guys are just hanging out talking and then
Speaker 1: like what Dmitri saying, is your personal experience by taking
Speaker 1: those stories, or maybe it's some watching a movie. You know,
Speaker 1: what is what is James Bond doing with his hands
Speaker 1: while he's kissing what's her name? I'm just saying, Wow,
Speaker 1: that was that got me going. I had I think
Speaker 1: it was my best friend Andrew. He he deemed himself
Speaker 1: the quote unquote click commander and I'm just being real.
Speaker 1: And so he was the master at finding it and
Speaker 1: I was curious where that was back in the day
Speaker 1: and still him now, to be honest with you, but
Speaker 1: he he was like the master of anatomy. He was
Speaker 1: like studying the vagina and knew everything about like where
Speaker 1: the cervix was and you don't want to hit the
Speaker 1: cervix and the clitoris is here and the labya, this
Speaker 1: is what you gotta do here. And he was like
Speaker 1: a freaking surgeon. He was out of his time. Andrew
Speaker 1: what's his name? And email? How many times do you
Speaker 1: want to be intimate each week? Three? Five? I'd say
Speaker 1: three intimate meaning having sex. It was intimate could be
Speaker 1: other things. But yeah, if we're talking about just straight sex,
Speaker 1: then yeah, three to four. I think three or four. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we're talking seven day right, not work week. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean five is fine, but I've told you before,
Speaker 1: it's got to fit in with like I can't just
Speaker 1: have woken up because then I gotta go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and then I can't be hungry because then I can't
Speaker 1: have sex, and then I can't have just eaten because
Speaker 1: I'm full. And wait, we're not planning this for you.
Speaker 1: This was just how often do you want to eat?
Speaker 1: Endeling is on your own. I'm telling you there's a
Speaker 1: thirty minute window and every day, so it's tougher. You
Speaker 1: don't need thirty minutes. Go. What's next, ladies, what's your
Speaker 1: naughtiest sexual fantasy? Oh god, I mean these are tough.
Speaker 1: They're not something that you can just off the top
Speaker 1: of this. This is the point of the whole show. Guys.
Speaker 1: You're also talking to guys that have been married for
Speaker 1: fifteen years. I think we've given up on the idea
Speaker 1: of fantasy. I mean I would say, yeah, laying on
Speaker 1: a beach with two chicks, but I mean it's Sandy.
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, like, no going back to the
Speaker 1: air conditioning hotel room. I mean there's something, there's something
Speaker 1: to be said about, you know, doing it somewhere where
Speaker 1: you could get caught. But you know, maybe you know,
Speaker 1: ducking away at at a cocktail party or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think the public thing in a like
Speaker 1: an address um, changing room or something where you're in
Speaker 1: public and you're not supposed to be doing that. They
Speaker 1: initially you say to yourself, like the threesome thing in
Speaker 1: theory sounds good. But the again, the guilt you would
Speaker 1: have with that process would be, dude, okay, okay, here
Speaker 1: you got a bed, You've got two amazingly hot chicks.
Speaker 1: You're standing in the corner or you're on a chair
Speaker 1: in the corner. You're kind of doing your thing. You're
Speaker 1: what you're directing them, you're letting them do their stuff.
Speaker 1: You're talking about them, you're talking to them, you're telling
Speaker 1: them what you like. At the same time, you're but
Speaker 1: is your wife one of the two women? Of course,
Speaker 1: of course shaking his head. You can't ask him that,
Speaker 1: you can't ask. And then it's about like and then
Speaker 1: jumping in with them and direct you know and them
Speaker 1: telling you what they have trouble with conversations with three people,
Speaker 1: like if there's a car, like if you're in the
Speaker 1: front seat, you gotta turn to keep talking to it.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of there's a lot to think about
Speaker 1: the rest period. Come on, you gotta take a break.
Speaker 1: That sounds that's a fantasy. I would just be I
Speaker 1: would be stressed at like, Okay, have I have I
Speaker 1: given my wife enough attention here? Like am I now
Speaker 1: with this other person? And she like wall, he looks
Speaker 1: like he's enjoying this too much, Like I can't enjoy
Speaker 1: that too much because then tomorrow when this person goes away,
Speaker 1: it's back to like, oh, you really missed. I don't
Speaker 1: think you bring your wife into this wife in those positions.
Speaker 1: When you're with your wife in those positions, you've already
Speaker 1: had the discussion where those feelings or those that scenario
Speaker 1: does not play out. You're not thinking about that, and
Speaker 1: you guys have already figured it out and you're like
Speaker 1: you both want to do it, so you're not like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's having her better, more fun with her, that's gone.
Speaker 1: But he's so uptight to begin with. I think for
Speaker 1: wild fantasy. Don't make it real. Don't put your wives
Speaker 1: into this. Just think about that they're asking. They asked us,
Speaker 1: what's your wildest fantasy. Now you're making it real and
Speaker 1: you're taking away from the fantasy part of it. The
Speaker 1: role playing thing, I think is is interesting to me
Speaker 1: as well. YEA, each of you playing somebody that you're not,
Speaker 1: like being something and somebody that you're not is different.
Speaker 1: Kind of like she's the cheerleader and you're the guy
Speaker 1: that the football team picked on and she felt bad for,
Speaker 1: so she kind of gives you extra attention. That's unrelata. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine that, my bad. What famous person would
Speaker 1: you want to haul pass to sleep with? Brooke Burke?
Speaker 1: Nothing to do with this being a crossover episode, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. I always think
Speaker 1: about that with my wife when we have the conversation
Speaker 1: we used to before we had kids, Like when we
Speaker 1: were driving over from Taho and we're sitting in traffic, like, okay,
Speaker 1: who would you bone? Like who would you want to
Speaker 1: have sex with? Like brad Pin or Leo or whatever,
Speaker 1: and like and then like I'm setting up the question
Speaker 1: to be like, let me tell you who I want
Speaker 1: to do that with, you know, And it's like, oh God,
Speaker 1: Christie Brinkley and all these you know. Um, I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to think of right now, I'm thinking about who
Speaker 1: that would be. But can I tell you something? Yeah? Please?
Speaker 1: So I've done this and again this is me being neurotic,
Speaker 1: I realized, but like in my head, when that question
Speaker 1: is posted and we've done this ourselves, and she would
Speaker 1: say Bill Ransick. And interestingly enough, we ran into Bill
Speaker 1: Ransick like four times at Whole Foods in l A.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, this is actually a possibility because we've
Speaker 1: seen this dude now four times. Like so in my
Speaker 1: head when she asked me that question, I'll say, she's
Speaker 1: my wife is tall and blonde. So I'll be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to pick another tall blonde because if I
Speaker 1: pick a short brunette, then she's gonna be like, that
Speaker 1: is the complete opposite of me. So this is screwed.
Speaker 1: So because I used to think Mila Kunis and forgetting
Speaker 1: Sarah Marshall, I'm like, she was unreal. But she's short
Speaker 1: and brunette, which is the opposite of my wife. And
Speaker 1: is that going to be weird to pick someone that can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like Kate Upton interesting money. I don't know because
Speaker 1: I get lost in a nostalgia thing. But maybe like
Speaker 1: a Kate back and sell Um. To be honest, for
Speaker 1: the first three episodes of the show, I thought you
Speaker 1: were Bill Ransick, so as I understand what she's coming from.
Speaker 1: It is a random one. During sex, what noises or
Speaker 1: words get you the most turned on? Oh, Dmitri? I
Speaker 1: think he said, Oh Dmitri, you go first. I would say,
Speaker 1: like heavy breathing, this feels so good. I love what
Speaker 1: you're doing to me. Um, those are the things that
Speaker 1: start getting you going, and like this feels so good,
Speaker 1: and be harder, and there's something this is what's so funny?
Speaker 1: I mean, is it in yet? That's always a good one?
Speaker 1: Is it over? Wake me up when you're finished. I
Speaker 1: don't know. These are all they're all close. How comfortable
Speaker 1: are you with public displays of affection? Explain? I'm fine
Speaker 1: with with basic stuff, but I don't like it to
Speaker 1: be I don't like it to get to a point
Speaker 1: where it's almost like people are watching me inside my house.
Speaker 1: Like if you want, if you want to do a kiss,
Speaker 1: you want to hold hands it's fine, but I don't
Speaker 1: I don't want to be grabbed in public. I don't
Speaker 1: want people seeing thinking like, oh I know what goes on?
Speaker 1: That to me, that's too much. Rick. I don't think
Speaker 1: like making out in public is totally necessary. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm at the age now where it's not.
Speaker 1: I just I don't need to do that. Um. I
Speaker 1: think holding hands or showing signs of affection in public,
Speaker 1: that's that's more attractive now than like, oh yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna go on the corner and you know and grab
Speaker 1: a nice kiss. Like that's not those days are sort
Speaker 1: of over making out at our age making out and
Speaker 1: you're way way older than me, but making out as weird,
Speaker 1: like well, it makes other people uncomfortable also, and it's
Speaker 1: like I don't like when other people are like groping
Speaker 1: each other like making out. It's like all right, I
Speaker 1: will say, like making up makes me super horny, interesting
Speaker 1: you want, but not in public. I want to say,
Speaker 1: that's kind of what starts the freaking everything. One thing like, yes,
Speaker 1: that the one thing I would say is like if
Speaker 1: going back to where you would want to have sex
Speaker 1: or in a public place, being kind of like you're
Speaker 1: not supposed to do it, like walking in a public
Speaker 1: place and like grabbing her ass and like looking around
Speaker 1: to see did anybody see that? Is like a little
Speaker 1: taste of like I like, is somebody going to see that?
Speaker 1: What are they going to think? Like? What does she think? Is?
Speaker 1: It's a little taste that, But not in the sense
Speaker 1: of someone else seeing, but I like that in the
Speaker 1: sense of sending a message like hey, I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: this right now, and it's kind of like, oh, you
Speaker 1: know what, maybe when we get home, we've we've both
Speaker 1: been thinking about it this whole if we're not hungry
Speaker 1: or didn't just eat lunch. But yes, you have to
Speaker 1: stoke the fire. Yeah, yeah, you know what person from
Speaker 1: your high school would you want most to booty call
Speaker 1: you today? I don't think we can. Laura Thompson, uh
Speaker 1: miss Pisco literally my maths teacher in tenth grade. She
Speaker 1: had just graduated from Penn State, and I remember I
Speaker 1: was like, how old is she? She looks like she
Speaker 1: could be my peer, Like did she? And she came
Speaker 1: in one day She's like sorry, I'm like, guys, I
Speaker 1: lost my license over the weekend. I'm like, hey, She's
Speaker 1: like out hitting it hard, like lost her license. I'm like,
Speaker 1: miss Pisco can teach me the pythagorant theorem and get
Speaker 1: down like miss Pisco. So I don't know where she's
Speaker 1: like that. That's good. Yeah, I don't know. I mean
Speaker 1: like probably like most guys. I'd say probably Jeanette Hayne.
Speaker 1: Why did she ask for my number? Where would you
Speaker 1: like to have sex besides the bedroom? Like inside the
Speaker 1: house or you mean yeah, inside the house, outside the house,
Speaker 1: in the office. Come on, ladies, a little bit more detail. Um.
Speaker 1: The garage is always kind of cool. I mean, like
Speaker 1: you write by your workbench at the same time. But no,
Speaker 1: it's like you get out from a date, you pull
Speaker 1: into the garage, if you're parking your car in the
Speaker 1: garage and you know, you're walking to the door to
Speaker 1: get into the house, and like think, you know, you
Speaker 1: kind of like start going right then and there, and
Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said. It's kind of sexy.
Speaker 1: And then you don't need to like finish there. You
Speaker 1: go in and start going against the wall, and then
Speaker 1: you start then you make your way up to the bedroom.
Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said about taking a
Speaker 1: room that's not fun. And given it that kind of spin.
Speaker 1: So like spin for instance, like your kids room. But
Speaker 1: if you go like the laundry room. Listen, you don't
Speaker 1: like doing laundry, right, but then every time you go
Speaker 1: to the laundry like, oh, remember the time we did
Speaker 1: it in here? That's true. Yeah, that's true to me.
Speaker 1: It's like it sounds great in theory, oh on the
Speaker 1: dining room table, but it's like, that's not that's that's
Speaker 1: something that happens in the movies. It's not comfortable. It
Speaker 1: hurts our best sex is like in a in a
Speaker 1: nice hotel room when everything is nice and like different,
Speaker 1: and then I can get into a nice robe afterwards,
Speaker 1: and there is something about a hotel room. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then sit on the porch and smoke us to Togi
Speaker 1: or something and drink a scotch and yeah, go to
Speaker 1: bed by eight. What conversation have you been putting off
Speaker 1: in your relationship? I mean just in general all or
Speaker 1: this is this? Are you guys asking aumily about sex?
Speaker 1: So I mean, if we're not talking about sex, I
Speaker 1: would probably say kind of the future, you know, like
Speaker 1: what's going to happen when the kids are in college
Speaker 1: and they're graduating in places like that, you know, and
Speaker 1: they move on and wear empty nests basically. So like
Speaker 1: for me, it's what eight years away, and I'm already
Speaker 1: kind of thinking about it. And I grew up in
Speaker 1: southern California and I've been visiting here a lot more recently,
Speaker 1: and I'm getting back to see my folks, and I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying what I where I live and grew up, and
Speaker 1: I'm really love l A and I love Orange County.
Speaker 1: And so we recently had a conversation on the way
Speaker 1: home from one of our during over the holidays, and
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, like, what do you think is
Speaker 1: gonna happen in eight years when the kids are in
Speaker 1: college and we're back here in Oakland and you know,
Speaker 1: like I really like that lifestyle. You know, I chose
Speaker 1: the worst time to think to talk about it. We've
Speaker 1: just been on a road trip for like seven hours
Speaker 1: and pulling into the garage, you know, and it was like, Hy,
Speaker 1: that was a fun trip, Like I think gonna move
Speaker 1: down there. She was like absolutely not, you know, And
Speaker 1: then we got into like more of the well, I mean,
Speaker 1: what about jobs. I'm like, well, I can work anywhere.
Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter, and you could you know, hopefully
Speaker 1: by that time we're in a position where you could
Speaker 1: we could figure something out and or maybe we split
Speaker 1: the time. And um, I know that feeling like you
Speaker 1: you work up, you have this great conversation in your head,
Speaker 1: and you throw it at the wrong time. You're like,
Speaker 1: I just shot that whole thing. Now, She's never going
Speaker 1: to take that seriously totally, and I'm serious about it,
Speaker 1: Like I want to live down in Orange County for
Speaker 1: six months out of the year, why not? Like, I
Speaker 1: love going on the beach. I love going And she
Speaker 1: was like, I love riding my bike on the boardwalk.
Speaker 1: I love going to the beach and hanging out. And
Speaker 1: she was like, and I actually appreciate it, was honest.
Speaker 1: She was like, I don't like that. And I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: So do you want to stay in Oakland and keep
Speaker 1: going to this place in this place, in this place
Speaker 1: and doing that for the next rest of our lives.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't really feel like doing that either.
Speaker 1: And so thank god we got home and the kids
Speaker 1: jumped out of the car, and so the conversation and
Speaker 1: but that kids are in the car for that there
Speaker 1: at their headphones on um, but yeah, it was. It's
Speaker 1: so that's crazy. That's if you don't mind me saying,
Speaker 1: that's a pretty big because you let off with what
Speaker 1: happens when the kids are out of the house. So
Speaker 1: then it's a matter of have we grown apart? Like
Speaker 1: are we different people now? Is there something do we
Speaker 1: even have? I felt like that was sort of like
Speaker 1: the very tip of that conversation, and and it's like,
Speaker 1: what are we going to do when that happens? And
Speaker 1: I think the other thing I felt at the time
Speaker 1: was like, have you thought about this? I don't think
Speaker 1: she's ever thought about that, Like what happens in eight
Speaker 1: years where I'm like, oh, I'm coming down here, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm friends with all of you guys. I'm hanging out.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing my folks, my brother and my sister, and
Speaker 1: it's I know, it's easy to get back and forth,
Speaker 1: and I don't mind the drive or the flight. It's like,
Speaker 1: why not do this? Like life is short? We need
Speaker 1: to sort of start doing this stuff now. And that
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's something that has started to
Speaker 1: register and I want it to. I definitely wanted to
Speaker 1: and I'm fine with where where we live like I
Speaker 1: obviously I love the area. You know, there's things that
Speaker 1: i'm I have a great friend base there, and there's
Speaker 1: things that I do that I enjoy of course, um,
Speaker 1: but I want both. You know what scares me about
Speaker 1: that conversation with that thought is that I get what
Speaker 1: you said. You said, what conversation do we not have
Speaker 1: or do we avoid? Is down the road? Right, Yes,
Speaker 1: I don't because our lives are so busy with the
Speaker 1: four kids and work and all this. I feel that
Speaker 1: same way, except it's not even down the road, Like
Speaker 1: I don't. We we don't have conversations about what's coming
Speaker 1: up in the future. It's basically like put your head
Speaker 1: down and get through the day, get through the week,
Speaker 1: and so we don't have conversations is like what's happened
Speaker 1: in the summer until we get to like may like. So,
Speaker 1: to be honest, it's a it's a bit unsettling because
Speaker 1: you never discussed the future. And I don't mean necessarily
Speaker 1: when the kids are gone, because that's a long ways away.
Speaker 1: But we don't discuss the future at all. It's always
Speaker 1: just like, let's just get through this, and that's like, well,
Speaker 1: we just keep getting through stuff. I feel the exact
Speaker 1: same way. And with summer coming up now it's our
Speaker 1: spring coming on, and then summer, it's like we know
Speaker 1: what the kids are doing, and I want to plan
Speaker 1: like these other little sidebar trips and and I don't
Speaker 1: know if that if that's a part of what she's thinking,
Speaker 1: you know, even though like I almost think she thinks
Speaker 1: I just kind of come up with these ideas and
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's drive all the way to Oregon and
Speaker 1: drop the kids off to camp and fish along the way. Well, like,
Speaker 1: to me, that sounds incredible. Dmitri and Ryan, you guys
Speaker 1: are right invited. But I want her to be thinking
Speaker 1: about that, right But and again that's the conversation you
Speaker 1: put off. Yep, my wife has been, uh she after
Speaker 1: going through the sickness of our of our newborn recently
Speaker 1: she said, I honestly am at my at the at
Speaker 1: my breaking point. I just need two nights away with
Speaker 1: like my girlfriends soon or else I'm gonna lose it.
Speaker 1: And I have been putting that off forever, and I
Speaker 1: kicked that can down the road every time it's brought up,
Speaker 1: because that stresses me out to no end to think
Speaker 1: that I'd be home for two nights by myself with
Speaker 1: the two kids, so I continue to try to put
Speaker 1: that off. Do you want me to come over with
Speaker 1: the four kids? No, I don't trust you. Let me
Speaker 1: just tell you can totally do it. Thank you for
Speaker 1: the vote of confidence. Means a lot coming from you. R.
Speaker 1: Do you enjoy spanking or being spanked? I don't know. No,
Speaker 1: I've never been a spank or a spanky that's that's
Speaker 1: really worked. I don't. I'm not huge on that type
Speaker 1: of discipline. I'm not saying no discipline at all, but
Speaker 1: that that I've never gotten to that role. And I
Speaker 1: don't know. You don't talk about you don't like slapping
Speaker 1: that ass, bro? No, I guess not. It's so awesome.
Speaker 1: It's just but that's when I hear when I hear spanking,
Speaker 1: I went. I guess I went to role playing. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to pretend like you're a kid. It's
Speaker 1: basically that's where it gets weird. No, and and you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like spanking, but I think in
Speaker 1: a nice way as we're having sex and being in
Speaker 1: the moment, like slapping is totally fine as long as
Speaker 1: you're doing it with the right Do you answer the
Speaker 1: question that do you prefer to be the spank I know,
Speaker 1: I always like, I don't think that. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get spanked. Same here, I want to be always
Speaker 1: in a dominant role and not being submissive and being spanked,
Speaker 1: like let me run. But I will say, if she
Speaker 1: wants to go and touch other areas that aren't common,
Speaker 1: then I'm okay with that. So like, if she wants
Speaker 1: to play with my nipples or something like that, that
Speaker 1: is a huge turn on. I love that you would
Speaker 1: you mind if other areas that may not be you know,
Speaker 1: that are super sensitive that like where like my I
Speaker 1: don't love that, I absolutely love it. It's I mean,
Speaker 1: you're okay, so keep going. I just I just told
Speaker 1: you guys everything and she is she into doing that
Speaker 1: for you because she knows you like it? Um not
Speaker 1: as much as I would like, does she? Do you
Speaker 1: have a conversation I need to have with her? Yeah,
Speaker 1: forget when the kids are out of forget the next
Speaker 1: eight years. I think I need to talk about the
Speaker 1: now wants a little more ass play. So do you
Speaker 1: do you always instigated by saying verbally to her, can
Speaker 1: you do this or does she ever surprise you in
Speaker 1: the middle of sex. Sometimes it slips in there and
Speaker 1: you're like, this was I didn't ask for it, and
Speaker 1: it's that much better now. It's way better when you
Speaker 1: don't have to ask for it. But then if you're
Speaker 1: obviously out of certain you know, during everything, and you're
Speaker 1: you want it, then you asked for it. Rick asked
Speaker 1: to be spanked and he hopes that one of her fingers.
Speaker 1: Ben's that's all. That's good to be Trie, Thanks, buddy, welcome.
Speaker 1: How would your ex partner in your last serious relationship
Speaker 1: describe you? Mm hmm. I mean you're allowed to say
Speaker 1: you're a dick. I mean you're probably not with that
Speaker 1: person because you're a dick, and you we're going down
Speaker 1: a certain path. Then you're like cut it off and
Speaker 1: shut it off, and you know, maybe the maybe the
Speaker 1: relationship was good, the sex was bad, or the sex
Speaker 1: was good the relationship was bad, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, what that person would really
Speaker 1: say about me? Um? I mean, god, it's been so many,
Speaker 1: so many years since that time. It's hard to remember.
Speaker 1: But guys, you're gonna help a brother out. I don't
Speaker 1: think I would. I don't think I would get that.
Speaker 1: I think I would get that I was a nice guy,
Speaker 1: maybe too nice, um, you know, and probably a gentleman
Speaker 1: and nice and all that. But I think probably maybe
Speaker 1: just not that I can't carr enough, but probably just
Speaker 1: went along with stuff too much and and didn't you know, initiate,
Speaker 1: initiate anything not not. Probably probably avoided Yeah, I probably
Speaker 1: avoided like fights just because I didn't want to have him.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's more of maybe too nice. Yeah, mine
Speaker 1: would say I am a buzz kill and overly responsible.
Speaker 1: I think. I mean we were just out of college
Speaker 1: in l A. And ultimately she was so far off
Speaker 1: the deep end and had so many issues that I
Speaker 1: finally realized and identified that I had to when she
Speaker 1: flew home for Christmas back East. I had to call
Speaker 1: her father, who had never met face to face at
Speaker 1: this point, and say, you cannot let her come back
Speaker 1: to l A. Like she needs tremendous mental help. And
Speaker 1: he when I gave him the anecdotes, he was like okay,
Speaker 1: and he got her. He wouldn't let her come back.
Speaker 1: She called had lost her mind on me, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm sorry, I'm doing you'll look back on
Speaker 1: this and thank me. This is the end of us, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: but I'm doing what's best for you. You need help
Speaker 1: in the worst way. So yes, I called your father.
Speaker 1: I did do that. And should I ask you a question?
Speaker 1: Do you think any of your neurotic nous had any
Speaker 1: to do with that? No? Zero? Like I mean, she
Speaker 1: was she went to boarding school, developed major issues at school.
Speaker 1: How did you let this one get away? Yeah? Exactly,
Speaker 1: answer this. You feel the most loved when and you
Speaker 1: feel the least loved when. I feel the most loved
Speaker 1: when I'm noticed and things are I don't mean like
Speaker 1: tailored towards me, but like when things are like hey,
Speaker 1: I got you this stuff, and like I was just
Speaker 1: on a trip. I was saying that a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I came home and there was like
Speaker 1: a like just we we have flowers kind of in
Speaker 1: the hallway right where you walk in the hall entry way,
Speaker 1: and typically we kind of sometimes we don't, but like
Speaker 1: she had made a big arrangement and she was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: did you see the flowers? I made those for you? Like, like,
Speaker 1: to me, that's important and that's what I care about.
Speaker 1: Um and or hey, I know you've been traveling or
Speaker 1: you've been working hard, Like why don't you go with
Speaker 1: your buddies, why don't you go work out, I'll take
Speaker 1: the kids. You go to have some your time or
Speaker 1: go do what you want to do. UM, Like that's
Speaker 1: important to me. Um And I forget the second half
Speaker 1: of the question, but the least obviously I mean not
Speaker 1: to give an easy answer, but when those things aren't met,
Speaker 1: like when those aren't when I'm not being noticed, like, hey,
Speaker 1: I didn't you know, like you know, like she knows
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna complain because there's a bunch of all
Speaker 1: the backpacks in the shoes and the you know, not trash,
Speaker 1: but like the Amazon boxes are all kind of building,
Speaker 1: you know, building up in the on the on the
Speaker 1: hall entryway where it's like I'm like, dude, just like
Speaker 1: you've walked past it three times, take it out, like
Speaker 1: those are We're in this together, like living in this home,
Speaker 1: and we're supposed to Actually we should be on the
Speaker 1: same page here, or I hope we are on the
Speaker 1: same page. I don't realized We're not always going to
Speaker 1: be on the same page. But for the most part,
Speaker 1: we should be on the same page. And that's the
Speaker 1: part when it bothers me that we're not on the
Speaker 1: same page. But I get what you're saying about, UM
Speaker 1: wanting to be seen, wanting like I don't need like
Speaker 1: a thank you or I don't need, you know, a
Speaker 1: kudos for everything that I do. But I feel like
Speaker 1: I do a lot in life and with the family
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. UM, I want to feel like
Speaker 1: I'm important. I don't want to feel like I'm just
Speaker 1: someone on the assembly line doing his job. So I
Speaker 1: like to feel appreciated. UM. And then on the other side,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like to feel I guess it's
Speaker 1: again similar to what you said. I don't like to
Speaker 1: feel like I'm like I'm interchangeable, like or like I like,
Speaker 1: all right, well you did this, but if not, it
Speaker 1: would get done, you know what I mean? Because I
Speaker 1: think I think everything that I bring in life or
Speaker 1: to family or all of that stuff, I think that
Speaker 1: that I bring it to the best that I can,
Speaker 1: and I think that I bring it in a way
Speaker 1: that you know, not many other people can. So if
Speaker 1: I feel like a well, you you know, just kind
Speaker 1: of dismissed or not, you know that I have trouble
Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, that's that's good. Okay, where do I
Speaker 1: begin gifts? I love gifts, as we know that my
Speaker 1: love language. I especially like a gift that identifies a
Speaker 1: need that I did not know I had. So my
Speaker 1: wife will say, you know, I got you this. Here's
Speaker 1: why I think you really need new sunglasses like the
Speaker 1: ones you've been wearing are ratty, or there's this or that.
Speaker 1: Or you need a new belt like the belt you
Speaker 1: wore whatever the other day, like should look better. You
Speaker 1: need a brown leather like things that I didn't know
Speaker 1: I needed. And she'll address that and like she's put
Speaker 1: thought into it. It's not just like I got you
Speaker 1: this just because I think guys might like this. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: you ryan need this. Trust me. I wanted to rip
Speaker 1: you for the gift thing, but you actually made sense
Speaker 1: there because it's showing that she noticed the stuff that
Speaker 1: you need and you like and getting it. I get that.
Speaker 1: What if you don't like what she's getting you? She
Speaker 1: she is really really good at gift giving. Has just
Speaker 1: just wait another ten years. Okay, next dinner some my
Speaker 1: favorite food like Thai food is an hour round trip.
Speaker 1: She'll sometimes text me at work, and she'll be like,
Speaker 1: I went and got you tie for tonight. Let's have
Speaker 1: a great night. And I'm like, that's an hour around trip.
Speaker 1: You went all the way to Malibu to get that.
Speaker 1: Traffic on the pc H is a nightmare. You did
Speaker 1: that for me, Like, let's go. This is amazing, thank you,
Speaker 1: not not that has the tenby that I like this
Speaker 1: the green curry, and and then he gets sheets. Oh honey,
Speaker 1: it's cold. Yeah, can you drive up to Ohai and
Speaker 1: get my lobster roll? Okay, compliments love compliments. Uh. And
Speaker 1: I like to be appreciated, being told like thank you
Speaker 1: for working hard for the family, like it really is
Speaker 1: meaningful to us and other that it makes it all
Speaker 1: worth the grind to feel like I'm doing this for
Speaker 1: someone who really values it. Yeah, I think that's important. Okay, Guys,
Speaker 1: if you could travel back in time, what sex advice
Speaker 1: would you give yourself. I don't know if it would
Speaker 1: be advice per se. I think I would probably live
Speaker 1: a little bit. I would I would open the doors more,
Speaker 1: not be so selective when I was younger. Put it
Speaker 1: that way, that a fancy way of saying, be more promiscuous.
Speaker 1: Totally Okay, just and I don't disagree with Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I was a little selective, like in high school college,
Speaker 1: you know, I limited myself and I sort of now
Speaker 1: regret that or whatever part of the question. So if
Speaker 1: you could do it over, as long as there was
Speaker 1: a pulse, it was fair game. Not a pulse. I mean,
Speaker 1: the pulse would be a little bit extreme. But so
Speaker 1: you're into the pulse acrophilias. Look, everyone has everything, let's
Speaker 1: move on. That's what I said. I would explore other options.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna follow up your necrophilia stuff. Uh No, I
Speaker 1: to be honest, I was. I was not unlike you Rick,
Speaker 1: where I was like, I guess I put too much
Speaker 1: thought into it, and I was like, well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And a part of it was respect, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: if I knew I didn't like a girl, I didn't
Speaker 1: to like, go ahead and have sex with her because
Speaker 1: I didn't want that on me and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to think that I could be so she didn't need
Speaker 1: do things a disappointment, you know, sex with me and
Speaker 1: then saying I don't want to see again. Um, But
Speaker 1: I think I would probably not take it so serious.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, this is not as big a deal
Speaker 1: as you're making out to be relaxed. You're young, have fun,
Speaker 1: so like we are all on the same page here,
Speaker 1: which is interesting. I mean for me. I remember my
Speaker 1: senior year of high school. Are assistant basketball coach had
Speaker 1: just got out of out of college and he was
Speaker 1: an assistant coach, and he said to all of us
Speaker 1: one day, he was like, can I give you us
Speaker 1: some advice. You're all going to college next year, Like,
Speaker 1: have as much sex as you possibly can. There is
Speaker 1: never going to be as many females within close proximity.
Speaker 1: Like partying with zero responsibilities ever in your life. Again,
Speaker 1: like take advantage of that and be safe, but do it.
Speaker 1: But I went to college and I was dating. I
Speaker 1: was still dating my high school sweetheart was a senior
Speaker 1: in college in high school. When I was a freshman
Speaker 1: in college. I was faithful to her and did not
Speaker 1: hook up with a single person my entire freshman year
Speaker 1: of college until two weeks before the semester wrap to
Speaker 1: go home and I found out that she had cheated
Speaker 1: on me and it was all over. So I had,
Speaker 1: like I had been faithful to her my entire year,
Speaker 1: hooked up with zero people turned down some people and
Speaker 1: then was like for what I did this all to
Speaker 1: be a good person and like she screwed me in
Speaker 1: the end, and it it was yeah, it's a joke.
Speaker 1: It's a complete freaking joke. That's good ideal romantic vacation. Well,
Speaker 1: since I've been going first on a lot of these things,
Speaker 1: unless Dmitri you want to go, you got something all
Speaker 1: the type of her, buddy, I would say, like on
Speaker 1: one of those Maldives Tahiti Killer, a little bungalow on
Speaker 1: the beach, a bunch of water everywhere, always jumping in
Speaker 1: the water, snarkling, fishing, hanging out, sitting in the sun,
Speaker 1: going to the pool, long walks, cruising around, nice restaurants,
Speaker 1: nice nice food, not restaurants, but nice food, and just
Speaker 1: just chill. Um. I do you like going to big
Speaker 1: cities and traveling and visiting and going to nice restaurants
Speaker 1: and stuff and seeing the culture of all those places.
Speaker 1: And I think that's a super probably probably the most
Speaker 1: valuable thing. But that's that's super romantic because a lot
Speaker 1: of people around I don't know, I mean people a
Speaker 1: lot of like they say Paris is like the most
Speaker 1: romantic spot. And I've been there and I you know,
Speaker 1: it's um, I just didn't. I never was by myself,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't romantic. But I'm gonna go not dissimilar you,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna take it up a little bit. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go up the hill in Greece, nice view, short
Speaker 1: walk down to a private beach, same thing. Still little
Speaker 1: restaurants and stuff, and in the town, I think, but
Speaker 1: I like the water for sure. It's someplace tropical. Um.
Speaker 1: I think the common thing is sort of like alone
Speaker 1: and being being alone, being no, but want with your
Speaker 1: spouse or person or you know, um, being with that
Speaker 1: person the whole entire time. I think that's the it
Speaker 1: in a warm spot, I agree, warm Spot Cabo is
Speaker 1: my happy place, as as is for my wife. We
Speaker 1: got married there. But for us it's okay. We begin
Speaker 1: first class travel, nice bloody Mary on the flight, okay, Amy,
Speaker 1: we get there pool side, great uv. Index were tanning
Speaker 1: and and we're on a romantic vacation. So I'm not
Speaker 1: being told you shouldn't be frying your skin to this degree.
Speaker 1: It's really bad for You're gonna be really wrinkly later
Speaker 1: in life. I'm just freaking bronzing with that that Hawaiian
Speaker 1: like oily thing. Oh, it's good. Through the four you
Speaker 1: can't not have that off. So then we're we're getting
Speaker 1: into some fish tacos with the guawk and the chips
Speaker 1: pool side, get into a nice little skinny marks on
Speaker 1: the rim. After that we got a good little buzz going.
Speaker 1: We get into a massage the hot stones, maybe a
Speaker 1: little hot stone massage. I don't think we needed the
Speaker 1: itiner ry, just the overall idea of what you would
Speaker 1: do five PM on the dot, Martinis, blue cheese, stuffed olives,
Speaker 1: and bed at about eight thirty after maybe Shark Tank
Speaker 1: on a DVR. Perfect. If you had to choose a
Speaker 1: single sex act for an entire year, what would it be? Uh?
Speaker 1: I mean I always go to the go to the
Speaker 1: doggie style. That's just so I love it. I know
Speaker 1: this is gonna sound like I'm pandering here, but I
Speaker 1: think probably um going down, me going down. No, for
Speaker 1: a year, but you're not getting off, Like I get
Speaker 1: it as something that leads to something, but like you
Speaker 1: can only do that for a year old on that's
Speaker 1: a good point. Usually that leads to something else, So
Speaker 1: that's a good point. That's a the first first answer,
Speaker 1: come on, guys, don't make me do this. Mine would
Speaker 1: be just like now, I'm not having sex for a year,
Speaker 1: thanks everybody. I mean, sometimes we talk about oral and
Speaker 1: it's like, I'd rather that is the beginning towards having sex,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's most filling for me to actually have
Speaker 1: sex intercourse