WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Cougar Country

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<v Speaker 1>Rooking Jewels Second Date Update. When we do these second

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<v Speaker 1>date updates, I'm always interested in hearing the story of

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<v Speaker 1>the date and what happened and why people think they

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<v Speaker 1>might not be getting a call back. But actually, today

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<v Speaker 1>I think I'm more interested in hearing about all the

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<v Speaker 1>other failed dates that this person has been on. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>the list is that long? You got an email from Jackie.

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<v Speaker 1>She wants to do a second date update today. She's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of back on the dating scene. I guess after

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<v Speaker 1>getting divorced and stuff like that. But she says that

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<v Speaker 1>she's been dating a little bit and she's had a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of weird experiences. So Jackie, can we actually talk

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<v Speaker 1>about the weird experiences instead of the person that you

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<v Speaker 1>want to talk about? Oh? No, I'd rather not. Really.

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<v Speaker 1>I hear from single people that listening to these are

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<v Speaker 1>often just depressing because they're like, this is what the

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<v Speaker 1>dating scene is? Great? Yeah, it's so depressing. I mean

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<v Speaker 1>the guys that are out there. So we're the first

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<v Speaker 1>date I went out on, he wouldn't stop smelling my

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<v Speaker 1>hair for like the first hour of the date. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, what are you doing? You know, like some

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<v Speaker 1>personal space? He just sat there smelling your hair. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it was freaky. It was like, you know, I know

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<v Speaker 1>you sounds like a normal date to me, Jackie, I

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<v Speaker 1>think you are just out of touch. So your email said,

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<v Speaker 1>your email said, you haven't been dating in a long

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<v Speaker 1>time because you went through divorce and all that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of stuff. How long has it been since you've been

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<v Speaker 1>out in the dating world. Oh my gosh, probably fifteen years. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a while. That's probably kind of scary getting back

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<v Speaker 1>in the game, you know, yeah, it really is. It's

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<v Speaker 1>really kind of bizarre, and I feel like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a kid all over again. You know, that's not

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<v Speaker 1>a good thing. But the guy that you want to

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<v Speaker 1>call today, his name's John, all right, And so this

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<v Speaker 1>was a positive experience for you. Yes, finally I met

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<v Speaker 1>this guy. He was so cute and tall and beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>eyes and great smile and sense of humor. And told

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<v Speaker 1>them about my kids. You seem totally cool with that.

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<v Speaker 1>We had this wonderful night and ended with this fabulous

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<v Speaker 1>passionate and I was like, oh my gosh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>finally a good one. And then I never heard from him.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I ask you? Can I ask you? Where did

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<v Speaker 1>you meet him? I met him online. But I feel

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<v Speaker 1>kind of weird about even saying that. It's like, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>kind of ashamed even to admit that. But I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know where else. Hey, that's where everybody meets people, now,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you have to sift through the hair sniffers

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<v Speaker 1>and the other weird people. But you you've done that

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<v Speaker 1>and clearly met somebody that you liked. What did you

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<v Speaker 1>guys do? He took me dancing, and I haven't been

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<v Speaker 1>out dancing and I don't know how long. But we

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<v Speaker 1>just had a blast. Are we talking like grinding or

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<v Speaker 1>we talking like ballroom dancing? No? No, we went. We

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<v Speaker 1>went to a club and okay, they had they had,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, music of all different genres and stuff. So

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't like, I don't know, you know, rap music

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<v Speaker 1>that you can't really dance too. It was like fun

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<v Speaker 1>music and we just had such a blast together. We

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<v Speaker 1>had a really good time. Okay, why do you think

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<v Speaker 1>he's not calling you back if you had such a

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<v Speaker 1>great time? I don't know. That's why I'm like, what

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I know, I've been out of this whole

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<v Speaker 1>thing for a while. I don't know how it all works,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, are you supposed to wait three weeks before

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<v Speaker 1>you call someone back. I don't know. I mean I

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<v Speaker 1>never understood Listen, I never understood guys when I was

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<v Speaker 1>a kid. I don't understand them now either. Forget it?

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<v Speaker 1>And what are you looking for? Like when you're out dating,

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<v Speaker 1>If you were to go on a second date with John,

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<v Speaker 1>are you hoping that it would turn into a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>or are you just looking to have some fun? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I would like a relationship again, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I wouldn't take it super fast. I think

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<v Speaker 1>I would want to take it kind of slow and

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<v Speaker 1>kind of get to know the person pretty well before

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<v Speaker 1>I got involved after having such a disaster with my

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<v Speaker 1>first husband. But yeah, I'd like to meet someone. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to be alone in the rest of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, my kids are going to grow up and

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<v Speaker 1>then what you know, I'll be up by myself. Did

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<v Speaker 1>he know about the kids before you guys went out? Yes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I did on my profile. It's very you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>made sure that people knew that because I know that

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<v Speaker 1>could be like a problem, and maybe it is and

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<v Speaker 1>he was just being nice about it. I don't know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say, how did that conversation go. When

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<v Speaker 1>you talked about your kids, he seemed fine with it.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, he's never been married before, he didn't have

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<v Speaker 1>many kids of his own, but he had some nephews

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<v Speaker 1>and nieces, and he see my tea really liked hanging

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<v Speaker 1>out with him with them and stop. So that's not

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<v Speaker 1>bad because you bring up kids with me on a

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<v Speaker 1>date and it's like a hole through the wall, like

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<v Speaker 1>a cartoon character. I bust out of there so quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>Some guys are like that. You know, you wouldn't write exactly,

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<v Speaker 1>but you wouldn't go on a date with somebody who

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<v Speaker 1>had it on their profile to begin with. It depends

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<v Speaker 1>what you looked like. Okay, so how many times have

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<v Speaker 1>you tried to get a hold of him since you've

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<v Speaker 1>gone out? I texted him the next day to say,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, thanks for such a great night out. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>seeing you again, And then I think I called him

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<v Speaker 1>like two or three days later, but that was it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be like a stalker, and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I don't know what to do. Am I

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to call him? Is he supposed to call me?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Has he said anything back to you

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<v Speaker 1>at all, no silence, like crickets, nothing, and you can't

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<v Speaker 1>think of one thing that was awkward. The only thing

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<v Speaker 1>I can think of is that he's like a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit younger than me. And by a little you mean

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<v Speaker 1>whoa like twelve years he's twelve years old. Way to go, girls,

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<v Speaker 1>And I would say, oh, oh, twelve years younger. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I just heard twelve years. I was like, wait a second, Jackie,

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing this wrong. All right, So yeah, that could

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<v Speaker 1>maybe possibly be a thing though, to be twelve years

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<v Speaker 1>younger than somebody. Some people might care about that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess twelve years might be kind of a lot

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<v Speaker 1>for some people. But he seemed to be okay with it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I put my age out there. I was very

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<v Speaker 1>like honest on my profile. A lot of people like

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<v Speaker 1>put a lot of garbage there and lie and all that,

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<v Speaker 1>but I was really honest, and people tell me I

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<v Speaker 1>look a lot younger than my age, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and because all my information was out there, he knew

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<v Speaker 1>what he was getting into. It wasn't like I got

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<v Speaker 1>showed up and it was a surprise, right unless he

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't know, maybe given it a try

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<v Speaker 1>for the first time and then noticed that, Oh, we

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<v Speaker 1>actually don't have anything in common. Oh maybe I thought that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, guys like the cougar thing. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll find out. We'll play a song, come back, call

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<v Speaker 1>him and get your second date update. Okay, thank you,

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<v Speaker 1>you're welcome. Hold on rooking Jubil in the morning. Second

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<v Speaker 1>update if you're just tuning in for today's second date update.

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<v Speaker 1>Jackie is on the phone and she wants to call

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<v Speaker 1>a guy named John. Today. They met online. She's had

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<v Speaker 1>a string of bad dates and apparently it's just jumped

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<v Speaker 1>back into the dating world after getting a divorce and stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>They went out, danced a little bit, and now he's

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<v Speaker 1>not calling her back. She has no idea why, except

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<v Speaker 1>she thinks it could have been because she has two

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<v Speaker 1>kids and maybe that kind of scared him off. Jackie, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm thinking, might have scared him off?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh know what, your ability to work, that's right. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>just maybe you were dropping it a little too hard

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<v Speaker 1>on the dance floor, Jackie, what do you think? I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I mean, maybe he doesn't like the way

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<v Speaker 1>I can't I don't know. I can hear it in

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<v Speaker 1>your voice. You know how to get down, don't you. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, that would that would probably have been

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<v Speaker 1>shocking for him, seeing that you are twelve years older

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<v Speaker 1>than he is. Well, you know, I don't. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>do all those workouts for nothing. Yeah. I've been doing

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<v Speaker 1>that infanity thing for years and you're trying to keep

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<v Speaker 1>myself a good stake. All right. Well, I'm gonna dial

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<v Speaker 1>his phone number now and see why he's not calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back. Okay, thank you. Hello, Hi is John there?

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<v Speaker 1>This is John. Hey John, how are you. This is Jewil.

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<v Speaker 1>I host a radio show called Brook and Jewel in

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<v Speaker 1>the Morning. Oh okay, I think I heard of you.

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<v Speaker 1>What's this about? Well, I wanted to ask you a

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<v Speaker 1>few questions if you have a second about what about

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<v Speaker 1>your dating life? Oh that's weird. Well I'll explain. We

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<v Speaker 1>do a segment on our show called the second Date Update.

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<v Speaker 1>It's where if you go out on a date with

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<v Speaker 1>somebody and then end up blowing them off after the date,

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<v Speaker 1>they email us to see if I can get you

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone and ask why so you recently went

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<v Speaker 1>on a date with one of our listeners. Her name

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<v Speaker 1>is Jackie. Oh okay, Oh my gosh. So Jackie told

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<v Speaker 1>us about your date and said that she actually liked

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<v Speaker 1>you a lot and wanted to see you again. But

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<v Speaker 1>she's wondering why you're not answering your phone calls. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>she's she's really great. It just I just don't think

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<v Speaker 1>it's going to be right though. Is there a particular reason,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, just sometimes you're you know, you just don't

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<v Speaker 1>match up, that's all you know. Does it have anything

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<v Speaker 1>to do with the fact that she's twelve years older

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<v Speaker 1>than you? No, no, I knew that. I knew that

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<v Speaker 1>that before we went out. So and she, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>she's a really she's really fun, she's really great, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope she finds somebody great to be with. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>if she's so great, then why don't you want to

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<v Speaker 1>go out with her again? Yeah? Yeah, it's just I

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<v Speaker 1>just I want with best for her. So do you

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<v Speaker 1>feel like you guys are looking for different things in life? Uh? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I think I think, you know, I just

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<v Speaker 1>want her to really be happy if she deserves that.

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds kind of like you're dancing John, be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it the age thing? Like you can tell us

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<v Speaker 1>the truth? No? No, no, no, she doesn't even look

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<v Speaker 1>her age Actually she she looks great, so she's great,

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<v Speaker 1>fun to be around, beautiful, gorgeous. Yeah, and has kids

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't mind kids. So everything about her is

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<v Speaker 1>perfect for you, and that's why you don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>see her again. I really like her. I think she's awesome,

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<v Speaker 1>but I think that in the end, it's not gonna

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<v Speaker 1>work out. So why, Well, did she tell you that

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<v Speaker 1>she's divorced too? Yeah? She did. She told us all that.

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<v Speaker 1>And did I mean, did she tell you about like

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<v Speaker 1>what her ex husband's like. No, we could have gotten

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<v Speaker 1>into that, but I was more concerned with hearing about

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<v Speaker 1>your date with her or not her ex husband problem. Yeah. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>he's just like he's just he's he just really has

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<v Speaker 1>this stuff together. He's this big time investment banker and

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<v Speaker 1>very successful and probably provided a lot for her that

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<v Speaker 1>I just can't do. Wait a minute, you realize he

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<v Speaker 1>was also a bag who she divorced, right, and he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't like at all. I don't really know too much

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<v Speaker 1>of the details of why they got divorced or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't really talk that much about that. I just

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<v Speaker 1>know I'm barely getting high life started. I just started

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<v Speaker 1>working in publiculations and I'm not going to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to give her that. That is so unfair to her. Dude,

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<v Speaker 1>not only are you saying that, I mean it just

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<v Speaker 1>implies that she is looking for someone with money. No,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's not. It's not even like that at all though.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just talking about that there's a standard of living

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<v Speaker 1>that people are used to being at and I can't

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<v Speaker 1>fit into that for her. I can't give her that.

0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.440
<v Speaker 1>That's real, that's like very real. It's not anything bad

0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.400
<v Speaker 1>about her, in fact, That's That's what I'm trying to say,

0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:57.720
<v Speaker 1>is I think she's she's really great, and I want

0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:00.800
<v Speaker 1>her to have what she should have in life, and

0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:02.560
<v Speaker 1>I can't give that. Yeah, but don't you think that

0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:04.640
<v Speaker 1>maybe she has her own money and her own way

0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:06.880
<v Speaker 1>of life, and that actually maybe she wasn't reliant on

0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.840
<v Speaker 1>her ex husband at all. I don't know about that.

0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't think that we're in the same

0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.480
<v Speaker 1>place in our lives. And if you talk to her,

0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:18.160
<v Speaker 1>can you just tell her I had a really wonderful

0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:20.240
<v Speaker 1>time with her and I really want the best for her.

0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.840
<v Speaker 1>I can do that, But why don't you do it yourself?

0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Because she's actually on the phone listening to this conversation.

0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:37.800
<v Speaker 1>What yeah, Jackie, Hi John, Oh, listen, I think you're

0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.360
<v Speaker 1>you're you're great, and I wish you didn't feel that

0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:43.240
<v Speaker 1>way because none of that stuff matters to me at all, really,

0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:47.960
<v Speaker 1>But it's going to look you're You're used to a

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:52.200
<v Speaker 1>guy that's really put together and has everything kind of

0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.559
<v Speaker 1>figured out and I'm just getting started and I'm just

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:58.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of figuring out where I fit in life right now.

0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:01.000
<v Speaker 1>And no, but I like that about you. I like

0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.400
<v Speaker 1>that you're excited and looking forward to the future and

0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:06.760
<v Speaker 1>have all kinds of ideas and things. I mean, I've

0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 1>already been there, done that with a guy who's a jerk.

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't need to go down that road again. You

0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.040
<v Speaker 1>like it now, but in you know, two months, it's

0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:18.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna be boring to you and you're gonna want more.

0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.800
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna want to go out and go on crazy

0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:23.719
<v Speaker 1>vacations that costs a lot of money that I can't

0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:27.439
<v Speaker 1>give you. My god, you are so jumping to conclusions.

0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.360
<v Speaker 1>What are you saying. I mean, that's where that's where

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 1>it's headed, like, that's where that's why we went out.

0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean that's where it's going to go eventually. And

0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:38.360
<v Speaker 1>I can't do it. Well, really, none of that matters.

0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted somebody that I could really click with,

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 1>and I thought we had a great time together. You

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.040
<v Speaker 1>like me now, But the thing is is you're driving

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 1>up to meet me in a Mercedes and I'm driving

0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.920
<v Speaker 1>up to meet you in like a nineteen ninety nine Toyota.

0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.800
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't matter. Remember the sounds of it. You're the

0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:59.320
<v Speaker 1>only one that's concerned about it. She's not concerned about it. Yeah,

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>but long term it's not going to work out. You know,

0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.440
<v Speaker 1>nobody's say anything about long term. We could just hang

0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:10.360
<v Speaker 1>out and hook up, you know. Yeah, did you mean

0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 1>hook up in the way that I think you meant

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 1>hook up? Jackie? That means I don't know. I just

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.240
<v Speaker 1>wanted to have some fun and I want to be

0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.960
<v Speaker 1>that serious as you should. You are making up for

0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 1>some lost time. That's right, that's right. You know, I

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.280
<v Speaker 1>never said I wanted to get married right now. I

0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:29.319
<v Speaker 1>don't want anything serious right away. I didn't want to

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:32.079
<v Speaker 1>go and have some fun. Yeah, and John, you look

0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:43.160
<v Speaker 1>like you can see a lot of fun. Okay, different

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.880
<v Speaker 1>from what I thought. Yeah, it sounds to me John

0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.959
<v Speaker 1>like Jackie is not interested in a long term thing

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:50.320
<v Speaker 1>with you at all. She wants to chew you up

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:55.080
<v Speaker 1>and spit you out, which would be cool to do.

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.880
<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, in that case, would you guys like

0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:00.960
<v Speaker 1>to go out on a second date? John? We will

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:04.880
<v Speaker 1>pay for it. Oh man. You know what, as long

0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:10.880
<v Speaker 1>as there's no long term expectations then then hell yeah,

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.839
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to go out again. Does that sound okay

0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.360
<v Speaker 1>with you, Jackie? Oh? I think I made my point.

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.800
<v Speaker 1>That sounds more than okay to me. All right, well,

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 1>congratulations you too. It's a successful second date update. We'll

0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.120
<v Speaker 1>send you out again. Oh that sounds wonderful. I can't

0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.880
<v Speaker 1>wait to see you John. And just like Chewbel said,

0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, there maybe some chewing and there maybe some

0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 1>spitting out. Yeah, in the morning,