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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So we'll stick around two minutes and

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Speaker 1: we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My ex friend try to get my husband deported. Now

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Speaker 3: she wants my help.

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Speaker 4: Deportation is where I draw the line no help out that.

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Speaker 3: That's where I don't help you before it's cool. I

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Speaker 3: female twenty six, am white, and my fiance, male thirty one,

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Speaker 3: is originally from Japan but has pretty much been living

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Speaker 3: here in the States since he was thirteen, and yes,

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Speaker 3: is a US citizen. I also have a group of

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Speaker 3: friends from college, and in that group was a woman

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Speaker 3: who will call Karen, female twenty five, who was the

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Speaker 3: sister of our friend who I will call Ruth. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Hailey cz CT and if

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Speaker 3: you want to spend your own stories, go to our

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Speaker 3: slash Okay Storytime subpart it. So, Ruth, who was genuinely

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Speaker 3: a nice person, was our friend, but her sister, Karen

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Speaker 3: was the golden child sibling who only hung out with

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Speaker 3: us because she Karen cannot maintain irl friendships of her own,

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Speaker 3: in part due to her antisocial tendencies, and their mom

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Speaker 3: pretty much pushed us to let Karen hang out with us,

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Speaker 3: since Karen was jealous of Ruth having real friends and

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Speaker 3: we only tolerated Karen because of Ruth, who also didn't

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Speaker 3: really want Karen hanging out with us. Dang. When Ruth

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Speaker 3: moved here to the Northeast for college from Mississippi, Karen

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Speaker 3: also followed her, and their mom pushed Ruth to let

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Speaker 3: Karen stay with her. Unlike the five of us, Karen

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Speaker 3: did not go to college with us. Wait, she was

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Speaker 3: just like living with y'all.

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Speaker 4: Oh, just like chilling. She's like, hey, guys, hey, guys, Like,

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Speaker 4: what are you doing? We're going to class. She's like,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, that's fun. I don't do that.

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Speaker 3: You guys should stay scoffed at the idea of higher

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Speaker 3: education and the only thing she knew were what she

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Speaker 3: saw online or whatever her boyfriend of the day was into.

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Speaker 3: Over the years, since gradually becoming more and more hateful

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Speaker 3: towards the LGBT, Jews and immigrants. Bear in mind that

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Speaker 3: my mom is an immigrant from the Czech Republic. Thus

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Speaker 3: we kind of started distancing ourselves from her after first

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Speaker 3: noticing it at around twenty twenty or so. Ruth unfortunately

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Speaker 3: passed away in twenty twenty three after a biking accident.

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Speaker 4: Oh my, I didn't wow. It's tragic all of a sudden.

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Speaker 3: God, But we continued to allow Karen to hang out

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Speaker 3: with us because of pity, I guess. But a couple

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Speaker 3: in our group outright cut her off after Ruth's passing,

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Speaker 3: while the rest of us just tried to gradually distance her,

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Speaker 3: hoping she'd get the message or get bored and stop

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Speaker 3: trying to contact us. However, the breaking point was on

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Speaker 3: October last year, when Karen reported my fiance to Ice

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Speaker 3: because she thought or wanted to believe, he was an

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Speaker 3: undocumented migrant. And when we confronted Karen, the conversation boiled

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Speaker 3: down too that she felt it was wrong for me,

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Speaker 3: as a white woman, to be with an Asian man,

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Speaker 3: and she felt that white girls like me you should

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Speaker 3: be with men who look like me. And she felt

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Speaker 3: uncomfortable with how my family is very welcoming and accepting

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Speaker 3: of my fiance.

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Speaker 4: So she's a moron. So not only is she just

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Speaker 4: like it hateful and ignorant. She's like literally was like

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Speaker 4: tried to get an American citizen.

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Speaker 3: She's like, I don't know, I just felt like it

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Speaker 3: and I'm just like, like, it just.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't seem right. So I called Ice.

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Speaker 3: This is why we shouldn't pity hang out with people.

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Speaker 3: If they're awful, people just hunt hang out with them.

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Speaker 4: You could be like, hey, I'm sorry for your there's

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Speaker 4: a range. I think she's on the range.

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Speaker 3: That is true. That is true. I come from a

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Speaker 3: very liberal, upper middle class family, and we'd often take

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Speaker 3: my fiance out with us on family outings, be it

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Speaker 3: at our family's vacation home in Lake Champlain or sailing

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Speaker 3: to Block Island on my grandpa's yacht. Dang. That said,

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Speaker 3: Karen felt that someone of my status should be with

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Speaker 3: someone who looked like me. These words, why are we

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Speaker 3: talking to Karen?

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Speaker 4: Why is she still here?

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Speaker 3: Why is she still here? You have no connection to

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Speaker 3: her that is like strong enough to have her continue

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Speaker 3: to be around.

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Speaker 4: Well, if they're still friends with her after that, that.

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Speaker 3: Would be crazy. I would you're like, oh, Karen.

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Speaker 4: Karen, Karen, She's like she always try to support my

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Speaker 4: American said people's fiance caring. She tried five last week.

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Speaker 3: But that she plainly said she wanted to my fiance

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Speaker 3: deported so she could try hooking me up with the

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Speaker 3: brother of her then boyfriend. Mind you, her then boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: with whom she has a kid with, and his brother

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Speaker 3: are misogynists who constantly share Andrew Tait interviews. Can't hold

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Speaker 3: the job for very long, yet expect women to stay

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Speaker 3: home and know their place, whereas my fiance works in

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Speaker 3: mental health and I work for my grandpa's lafer. After that,

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Speaker 3: the rest of us told her to f off, and

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Speaker 3: up until the last week or two, we've gone no

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Speaker 3: contact with her. Good makes sense, That makes sense.

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Speaker 4: That does make sense.

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Speaker 3: That said, after her boyfriend left her and their son,

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Speaker 3: she showed up at my door with her baby one

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Speaker 3: day to demand that since my family is well off,

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Speaker 3: I should help her buy her groceries and ask my

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Speaker 3: grandpa to give her a job since her EBT card

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Speaker 3: wasn't working and her now ex vanished. I reminded her

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Speaker 3: of how she tried to get my fiance deported and

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Speaker 3: how I'm not her friend, so she should f off. Apparently,

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Speaker 3: she's also been badgering others in our friend group and

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Speaker 3: her mom even called me telling me off or not

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Speaker 3: helping Karen and trying to justify what Karen did by

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Speaker 3: saying she was just doing what's best for you.

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Speaker 4: So the mom was like, she had a point.

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Speaker 3: She had a freaking one girl. I mean, are we

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Speaker 3: really surprised that her mom is crazy, seeing as she

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Speaker 3: was the one who was pushing Ruth to make to

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Speaker 3: include Karen and everything.

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Speaker 4: Ruth seem pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Ruth is cool, but I'm not surprised that the

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Speaker 3: mom is not, because she was the one who.

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Speaker 4: Bring her sister word and she's like she's twenty anyway.

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Speaker 3: I then asked her that since she's Karen's mom, why

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Speaker 3: doesn't she help Karen or take her back into which

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Speaker 3: the mom said that her new husband doesn't like having

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Speaker 3: Karen or her other kids around. I reminded Karen's mom

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Speaker 3: that Ruth was our friend, but Karen is not, and

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Speaker 3: we have no obligations to Karen. Sorry if this is long,

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Speaker 3: but it pisses me the heck off correction. I previously

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Speaker 3: incorrectly mentioned that her EBT card wasn't working due to

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Speaker 3: the government my bad. I asked dosumed that ebt cards

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Speaker 3: not working was somehow caused by Trump's executive order to

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Speaker 3: freeze federal funding for certain programs. So I incorrectly incorrectly

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Speaker 3: mention that I've never had to use snap or WIC

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Speaker 3: So I have no idea how these things work. And

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Speaker 3: there is an up date, But do you any thoughts

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Speaker 3: before we jump into this? Update? Feels very straightforward, It

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Speaker 3: feels incredibly straightforward. It's just stop talking to Karen.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this ridiculous human is making a ridiculous request, and

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Speaker 4: then her mom is also making me trying to validate

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Speaker 4: the ridiculous requests. Yeah, and there's a and she simply was.

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Speaker 3: Like nu, update, all right. So in my last post,

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Speaker 3: I Female twenty six mentioned that a discriminatory former friend,

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Speaker 3: who I will call Karen, tried to get my Japanese

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Speaker 3: American fiance Mail thirty one deported, only for her to

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Speaker 3: come back begging for help after her EBT cards stopped working,

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Speaker 3: her boyfriend ditging her, and her now being a single mom. Firstly, though,

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Speaker 3: I would like to address a common question from my

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Speaker 3: last post, host, why did we tolerate Karen for as

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Speaker 3: long as we did? We were friends with her older sister, Ruth,

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Speaker 3: who went to college with us, Ruth was the kindest

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Speaker 3: and nicest person most people would ever meet. But Karen,

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Speaker 3: despite not going to college herself, traveled up here to

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Speaker 3: the Northeast, falling Ruth because their hometown was boring. Basically,

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Speaker 3: their mom wouldn't allow Ruth to have friends unless Karen

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Speaker 3: was included, as Karen can't seem to maintain friendships or

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Speaker 3: relationships of her own. Ruth unfortunately had trouble saying no

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Speaker 3: to her controlling and manipulative mom. Hence, we tolerated Karen

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Speaker 3: so we could continue having Ruth hang out with us.

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Speaker 3: After Ruth passed away, we only tolerated Karen for a

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Speaker 3: few more months, mostly out of pity. But even then

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Speaker 3: we were already trying to distance her from us by

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Speaker 3: organizing get togethers that didn't include Karen, not engaging Karen

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Speaker 3: in conversation whenever possible, and basically hoping she got bored

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Speaker 3: of us and would leave on her own. That didn't work,

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Speaker 3: and admittedly it was too passive. Also, I have no

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Speaker 3: idea how EBT cards even work, Hence I assumed it

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Speaker 3: not working had something to do with government. Now to

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Speaker 3: the update for this Valentine's Day weekend, my fiance and

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Speaker 3: I drove up here to my grandpa's vacation home in

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Speaker 3: Lake Champlain for a few days of relaxing, hot cocoa,

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Speaker 3: chill and Netflix. Yesterday, my friends who I will call

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Speaker 3: Chantelle and Kate called me to say that Karen came

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Speaker 3: back and knocking on Kate's door, demanding that we let

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Speaker 3: Karen back into our friend group and support her, as

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Speaker 3: well as demanding to speak with me and Luna. Luna

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Speaker 3: is a friend in our group. This time, Karen came

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Speaker 3: along with her mom, son, stepdad, and two stepbrothers who

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Speaker 3: decided to drive up all the way from Mississippi for this.

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Speaker 3: It seems like everyone like her family hates her so

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Speaker 3: much that they will stop at nothing to dump her

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Speaker 3: on someone else.

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Speaker 4: Please see how long after this is after college?

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Speaker 3: Yes, she has a kid.

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Speaker 4: He's thirty one?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: How old is op at this point?

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Speaker 3: Wheny s.

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Speaker 4: So, there's like a year since colle Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And this man still and.

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Speaker 4: Her family is still to man friendship shocking years later?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And financial support.

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Speaker 3: Yeah from a person who was never really really friends

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Speaker 3: with Karen. Seantell and Kate told Karen that we don't

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Speaker 3: want anything to do with her as well. As mentioning

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Speaker 3: that Luna, who was in Europe at the time, and

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Speaker 3: I and Lake Champlain were away and not in town.

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Speaker 3: They got into an argument with Karen and her family,

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Speaker 3: with Karen's mom apparently calling Kate Tamala in a mocking tone,

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Speaker 3: note that Kate is mixed race as her mom is

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Speaker 3: black and her dad being white. Yes, so the whole

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Speaker 3: family is just with Karen's mom telling them that since

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Speaker 3: we were friends with Ruth, Ruth, we for some reason

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Speaker 3: need to do what she Karen's mom says and need

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Speaker 3: to support Karen and her child. Shaantal told Karen's mom

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Speaker 3: that just because it was easy for her to manipulate

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Speaker 3: and boss around Ruth doesn't mean she gets to do

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Speaker 3: the same with us, as we have nothing to do

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Speaker 3: with Karen or her family. Additionally, she went on to

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Speaker 3: say that if Karen is really so desperate for support,

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Speaker 3: why doesn't Karen just move back to Mississippi with her family,

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Speaker 3: with Karen replying by saying something along the lines of

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Speaker 3: I deserve to live the way you all, and Karen's

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Speaker 3: mom mentioning that her husband, Karen's stepdad, doesn't want Karen

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Speaker 3: or her kid living with them when Karen's stepbrother, upon

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Speaker 3: noticing security cameras in Kate's house, started trying to rip

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Speaker 3: out her doorbell camera, followed by Karen and her family

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Speaker 3: running off when Kate's dad finally called nine one one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, now they're destroying property.

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Speaker 3: Truly, just oh my god. However, before they left, they

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Speaker 3: use their truck to deliberately sideswipe Kate's dad's Lexus, driving

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Speaker 3: into the garage door, and Karen shouting people like you,

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Speaker 3: Kate don't deserve to live in a nice house like

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Speaker 3: this as they drove away. Can we can we send

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Speaker 3: her to jail? Do you have like footage of this

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Speaker 3: because you have presumably he didn't succeed in pulling out

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Speaker 3: the ring camera.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think I think the footage you're having him

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Speaker 4: is like the camera here and he's like the ring like.

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Speaker 4: But I mean.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes ring cameras are like you can see like a

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Speaker 3: driveway or something, So maybe you have footage of this

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Speaker 3: that's insane. Given the gravity of the situation, I did

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Speaker 3: notify my parents of what happened and that Karen and

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Speaker 3: her family may try to come over to our house,

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Speaker 3: as well as warning Luna as well. I also called

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Speaker 3: the police back in my hometown on the non emergency

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Speaker 3: line of the incident at Kate's home, and that they

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Speaker 3: Karen's family may try to come over again to my home,

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Speaker 3: but thankfully they haven't done so yet. In turn, Kate

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Speaker 3: and Chantelle have also given statements to the police as well.

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Speaker 3: And you guys can give us your full attention by

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Speaker 3: listening to full episodes with stories just like this. Just

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Speaker 3: go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast stuff

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Speaker 3: and search a Bookay story Time And there is just

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Speaker 3: a teensy bit left to the story left. But I

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Speaker 3: feel like I feel like we've.

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Speaker 4: We've feel like we've crossed to the restrained order.

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Speaker 3: I feel like we know what we need.

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Speaker 4: Decision.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's good. A restraining order on people who

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Speaker 3: shouldn't be, shouldn't be in your life, shouldn't have been

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Speaker 3: in your life. Just get them out and we're gonna

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Speaker 3: get into the rest of the story. Note no real

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Speaker 3: names were used in the story, and certain small details

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Speaker 3: were changed a little just for the sake of the

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Speaker 3: privacy of everyone involved. Additional info to clarify Luna is

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Speaker 3: not my fiance. Luna is a friend in our group

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Speaker 3: who I barely mention as she doesn't really play a

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Speaker 3: part in any of us. But that is the end

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Speaker 3: of that story. Man, oh man, I think it's pretty

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Speaker 3: pretty cut cut and dry. Yeah, restraining order, restraining order,

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Speaker 3: don't talk to them ever again. Yeah, and then we

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Speaker 3: have it.

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Speaker 4: My husband's ex best friend took advantage of us. I'm

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Speaker 4: putting my foot down. Put that foot down, put it down.

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Speaker 3: Also trigger warning for brief mentions of animal abuse in

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Speaker 3: this story.

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Speaker 4: This is going to be quite long, so I'll try

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Speaker 4: to keep it to the main details. My husband's ex

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Speaker 4: best friend, we will call them Paul. Paul and my

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Speaker 4: husband Cody. We're in the Marines together and formed a

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Speaker 4: very strong, basically brotherhood. He came down from Georgia to

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Speaker 4: Arkansas to visit Cody and vice versa. And by the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from you dash that to one conservative And

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Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 4: r okay storytime subrit it. So Cody brought up to

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Speaker 4: me how Paul was living in a shed on his

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Speaker 4: rental property due to his camper getting struck by lightning

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Speaker 4: and it didn't have electricity anymore. He took a small

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Speaker 4: matt off the bunk bed in the camper and just

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Speaker 4: moved into the shed, sleeping on the small mat on

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Speaker 4: the floor for contexts. He has three dogs. We had

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Speaker 4: a great time when he would come and visit us

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Speaker 4: in Arkansas and even stayed on an extended vacation for

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Speaker 4: over a month with us. Well, since that went well,

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Speaker 4: I told my husband if it needed a place to stay, well,

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Speaker 4: he could stay with us till we got on his feet.

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Speaker 4: At this time, my husband had even let him borrow

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Speaker 4: his childhood truck that was running great for him to

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Speaker 4: use in Georgia. Well, he moved in with us in

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Speaker 4: the beginning of July twenty twenty four. I forgot to

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Speaker 4: mention he gets disability from the VA for four thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars a month, and we got him a job within

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Speaker 4: a week with our friend's dad at his mechanic shop.

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Speaker 4: We have four dogs ourselves, so adding three more was

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Speaker 4: quite streussful at first, but it was manageable and I

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Speaker 4: love dogs, so it was fine. Seven dogs in one

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Speaker 4: household is a lot.

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Speaker 3: Of dogs, A lot of dogs.

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Speaker 4: It's now September twenty twenty four. My husband and I

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Speaker 4: have had multiple miss carriages and struggled with infertility that's awful.

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Speaker 4: We found out that month we were pregnant with our

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Speaker 4: rainbow baby. We were so insanely excited and just socked

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Speaker 4: since it had been over two years since our last miscarriage.

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Speaker 4: After it came out that I was pregnant, Paul started

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Speaker 4: making comments by how we just had to get pregnant

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Speaker 4: and basically ruin his plans.

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Speaker 3: These plans, what are his plans? He's like all my plans.

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Speaker 4: A couple of months go by, and Paul and I

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Speaker 4: have had some problems with him saying disrespectful stuff to me,

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Speaker 4: I mean, also snapping back at him. Wonder if this

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Speaker 4: is more general, if this is like related Around the

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Speaker 4: child child birth, he started to spend more time away

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Speaker 4: from the house with his boss's son. That boss's son

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Speaker 4: was my husband's friends since high school. There was a

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Speaker 4: whole friend group that my husband had been friends with

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Speaker 4: since he was young. Meanwhile, he had his dogs in

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Speaker 4: their kennels from sun up to sundown. He also would

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Speaker 4: be to one of the dogs sitting him on the ground.

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Speaker 3: Freaking truby show. That's terrible.

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Speaker 4: Don't even.

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Speaker 3: Get to the jail for that.

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Speaker 4: The dogs, the poor dogs. I'm done, discussed done he

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Speaker 4: did not appreciate when I told him that was too much.

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Speaker 4: I also brought it up to my husband that he

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Speaker 4: needed to talk to him because that is completely uncalled

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Speaker 4: for and it made me be on piss.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I would I would even go one step further

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Speaker 3: and I would say, you should call like an animal

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Speaker 3: abuse thing.

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Speaker 4: I would hit him with you if I see you

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Speaker 4: doing that ever again, you're out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you should absolutely call some sort of

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Speaker 3: like line about this about animal because this is unacceptable.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: On top of him not taking care of his dogs,

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Speaker 4: he would drink almost every night and leave these bottles

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Speaker 4: by the couch or on the kitchen table. He left

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Speaker 4: trash like fast food and dip spit cups everywhere, including

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Speaker 4: on the floor. That's disgusting, that's so gross. I cleaned

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Speaker 4: up after him. I got to the point where I

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Speaker 4: brought it up to him and just honestly gave up

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Speaker 4: on cleaning up after him. I wish you never cleaned

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Speaker 4: up after Why.

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Speaker 3: Why remind me why he's there again?

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Speaker 4: Because it is the husband's best friend from like military.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm now like I if this was if this

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Speaker 3: was going on under my roof, I'd won call someone

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Speaker 3: on the sky for the dogs, and I would say

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Speaker 3: to my partner, I'd be like, no, like, I'm not

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Speaker 3: having this person around me.

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Speaker 4: It was Opie's idea for him to move in, and

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Speaker 4: it was because of like he was living in a shaft.

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Speaker 4: Sure not, I'm just giving that as but still she

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Speaker 4: needs to she.

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Speaker 3: Needs to change it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, never mind this to happen so our living area

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Speaker 4: was just disgusting. Meanwhile, it's creating issues and find speech

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Speaker 4: to my husband and me. I worked from home, so

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Speaker 4: we didn't get why I wasn't keeping the house clean.

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Speaker 4: He was like, I explained, he is not my child,

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Speaker 4: and I will not clean up after his friend, the Paul,

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Speaker 4: had been looking for rentals for months. He kept finding

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Speaker 4: something wrong with each rental, many times of his petty stuff,

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Speaker 4: like it didn't have a workshop for him to fix

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Speaker 4: his cars in and the garage wasn't big enough. When

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Speaker 4: he was moving down, he told us he would pay

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Speaker 4: us five hundred dollars a month to live with us.

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Speaker 4: We never asked him to pay us a dime since

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Speaker 4: we truly wanted to help him. We actually decided to

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Speaker 4: buy a house in December twenty twenty four, since it

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Speaker 4: was the best decision for us, especially since we were

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Speaker 4: having a baby girl and he was living in what

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Speaker 4: would be her nursery. We explained to him so many

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Speaker 4: times I lost count that he could not move in

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Speaker 4: with us and stop letting him pay us to live

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Speaker 4: there so he could save up for a deposit on

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Speaker 4: a rental. He had told us he found a place

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Speaker 4: in January February, well weeks before we were closing on

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Speaker 4: our home. He was telling my husband he didn't have

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Speaker 4: enough money for a deposit. This was going on to

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Speaker 4: the second or third month for us not having him

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Speaker 4: pay for anything. We paid for all the groceries, and

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Speaker 4: my husband would cook each night, even for him. If

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Speaker 4: we went out to eat, we paid for him since

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Speaker 4: he was always broke.

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Speaker 3: Why are you letting this happen?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, some of them. Some of these things, I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 4: Like that's kind, But if you're paying for him to

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Speaker 4: go out one, it's just creating a strange dynamic. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's one thing to help a friend out, but it's

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Speaker 4: another to like continuously be paying for him even in

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Speaker 4: situations that aren't like one hundred percent necessary, Like you're

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Speaker 4: bringing him to dinner and you're paying for him like

395
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,880
Speaker 4: he's your child. Yeah, just creating a really interesting financially

396
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Speaker 4: dependent relationship. Here's a solution.

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Speaker 3: Just kick him out.

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Speaker 4: Literally, Yeah, I mean that's fair. He's had all this

399
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Speaker 4: time and it's like, hey, sorry, it's causing We tried

400
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 4: to help you out. It's causing problems. You're being disrespectful,

401
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 4: your abut your dog, like this is not working out.

402
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 4: So if we went out to eat, we paid for

403
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 4: him since he was always broke. The bills he had

404
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,160
Speaker 4: were a car payment, insurance, and a phone bill. He'd

405
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 4: broken my husband's truck that he was borring and had

406
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 4: to go get a truck from a dealership. The engine

407
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,640
Speaker 4: blew up in the truck because he did not put

408
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 4: oil in it. He claimed he put six grand into

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Speaker 4: the truck, so that meant he should be able to

410
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Speaker 4: keep the truck. I've not seen one receipt for any

411
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,199
Speaker 4: of those charges. He also bought new tires for it

412
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Speaker 4: and put those tires under my husband's name. My husband

413
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,159
Speaker 4: put five hundred and fifty dollars down for the tires himself,

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Speaker 4: and Paul said he would pay him back since he

415
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Speaker 4: wanted the tires. I'm confused is this the husband's truck,

416
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 4: or this is this is.

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00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 3: The husband's truck. Okay, yeah, that the friend is borrowing.

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Speaker 4: And then saying that it's his now because he put

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00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 4: a lot of money into it. Yes, okay, well the

420
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 4: guess So the question did you ask, if I put

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Speaker 4: all this money in, is it my truck now? Because

422
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 4: if not, it's not your truck.

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Speaker 3: It's not your truck.

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00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 4: The truck did not need new tires whatsoever. My husband

425
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,479
Speaker 4: also paid the bill on them when Paul got behind

426
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 4: on payments multiple times. So this information will come in

427
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 4: handy later. So back to now, late January twenty twenty five,

428
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 4: very recent I sent Paul a message explaining he could

429
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 4: not move with us to the new house because of

430
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 4: how stressful he was making my pregnancy with threatening me.

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Speaker 4: He took a screenshot of that message and sent it

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Speaker 4: to my husband's whole friend group and said that I

433
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 4: was punting him out. I never said get out. He

434
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 4: still had almost a whole month to get into the

435
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 4: rental he claimed he had. The friend group then unfriended

436
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 4: my husband and took Paul's side.

437
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 3: And then you text them all and you say, yeah,

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00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 3: totally understand. You guys should take him in, Yeah, take

439
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 3: him in. It's so great.

440
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 4: Having him there, wonderful, It's really great. He doesn't leave

441
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 4: any dip cups around all over the floor ever. Mm hmmm.

442
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 4: And he treats his dogs wonderfully mm hmmm. One of

443
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 4: the friends in the group my husband was supposed to

444
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 4: be a groomsman for, but was told he was not

445
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 4: going to be part of the wedding party going forward.

446
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 4: I knew Paul was definitely making up lies to the

447
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 4: friend group about me and definitely crap talking to them,

448
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 4: but I just didn't care because I'm in a high

449
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 4: risk pregnant scene. I'm trying to enjoy the last few months.

450
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 4: I will not lie and say I didn't snap back

451
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 4: at Paul, because I most definitely did. I was walking

452
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 4: on eggshells in my own home. If we went out,

453
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,239
Speaker 4: I got onto Paul because he would blatantly stare at

454
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 4: women to the point they got uncomfortable. If someone turned

455
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 4: him down, he would literally say to the bartender or waitress,

456
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 4: fu b my man is a menace.

457
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 3: We kind of really shocked why your husband is friends

458
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 3: with him at all, and.

459
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 4: If your husband's whole friend group through one text friends

460
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 4: your husband they're not the best of friends. Yeahs, unless

461
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 4: he was spreading like meticulous lies.

462
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 3: And possibly, but I think even then, you should always

463
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 3: be you should always check with that, you should be like, hey,

464
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 3: is this true? Yeah?

465
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 4: So my father in law had also let Paul borrow

466
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 4: money more than once, which I did not like since

467
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 4: he had enough money and it was not my father

468
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 4: in law's responsibility to take care of a thirty old

469
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 4: man my husband and our four years younger than him. Well,

470
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,719
Speaker 4: he got the whole group to ostracize my husband from

471
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 4: the group when my husband had just lost a family

472
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 4: friend he was very close to. He's also very rude

473
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 4: to my husband constantly and would get in moods if

474
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: my husband left the house with me and we didn't

475
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 4: tell him where we were going. Paul did not like

476
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 4: me talking to my husband about how things would change

477
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 4: when our daughter came, which meant he couldn't just randomly

478
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 4: stay out with the boys all night fishing or at

479
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 4: the casino, since I would need his help. But we

480
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 4: need your help. Listen to full episodes of stories just

481
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,679
Speaker 4: like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your

482
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 4: favorite podcast app in search. Okay, story time, just do it.

483
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 4: There's another relevant update, but let's discuss.

484
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 3: Okay. I got a couple of thoughts to my first one.

485
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 3: I mean, you should never have taken this guy in,

486
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 3: but you did, and then you should.

487
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 4: Have been kind of maybe some room for taking a

488
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,880
Speaker 4: manager just for sure are little.

489
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 3: I'm hindsight, I guess. But then he did and he sucked,

490
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 3: and I think you know you needed you could have

491
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: kicked kicked him out way sooner. Uh, And then all

492
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 3: of your friends, just like or all of your husband's

493
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: friends just kind of switched so quickly. I don't, I don't,

494
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't trust your husband. Oh, I

495
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 3: don't trust your husband anymore because I feel like people

496
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 3: are a reflection of their friends. And if you have

497
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 3: a friend like this, who I can't imagine is like

498
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 3: only a horrible roommate, I'm I feel like he must

499
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 3: be horrible in all areas of his life.

500
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 4: This man, Yes, well yeah, cussingect him exactly.

501
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 3: So I'm like, if I had a friend who was

502
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 3: like that, you can't just let that slide. And I

503
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,479
Speaker 3: feel like this husband was probably letting a lot slide

504
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 3: until it directly impacted him.

505
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a there's a whole conversation around the husband's complicity, yeah,

506
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 4: and him not stepping up for his wife. Yeah, him

507
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 4: not standing up to his friend just like doing objectively

508
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 4: morally wrong behavior. And so that's a whole conversation of

509
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 4: the husband being implicit in this and not standing up

510
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 4: when he needed to.

511
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 5: Agreed, especially since all the other friends were like bye bye. Yeah,

512
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 5: Like everyone's like, oh, dude, what it was his Paul. Yeah,

513
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 5: E's like, oh, we love Paul.

514
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, like Paul. You guys were that.

515
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 5: You guys read to Paul, kicked him out. We don't

516
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 5: like you anymore?

517
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 3: What.

518
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 4: Yeah. I did take pictures after he left all the

519
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 4: areas he was inconsistently to show how nasty he was living.

520
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 4: He had dog hair stuck to the floor because of

521
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 4: his dog pissing on the floor and him not cleaning it.

522
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 4: I'm going to stop this thread here just because this

523
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 4: whole situation has been exhausting and there's so much more

524
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 4: to tell, but I'm just glad it's over with. So

525
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 4: am I the ahole for standing up for myself to

526
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 4: my husband's ex best friend, who then had my husband's

527
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 4: friend group all unfriended him. No, I think your boundaries

528
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 4: should have been stronger. Yes, and earlier husband should have

529
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 4: had boundaries, and the husband should have had boundaries, and

530
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 4: I under shouldn't been friends with these friends. Boundaries are

531
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 4: extremely difficult for most people, and so I'm not dissing

532
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 4: you for this, but there was room for even more

533
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 4: boundaries than you're putting down right now. Yeah, wasn't Opie?

534
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 5: Also like what the like the third trimester or something

535
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 5: like that, or like yeah, and also pregnant.

536
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh and yeah, great punt.

537
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

538
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,120
Speaker 4: It is the health of your child and the help

539
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 4: of your partner or the health of yourself.

540
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, did your child?

541
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 4: And yeah?

542
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 5: And OPI for sure what the fact that everyone is

543
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 5: like so negligent here is like it was making me shocking.

544
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's more than just like, oh, I'm being disrespected,

545
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: it's the health of yourself and the child.

546
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 3: My friends treated me horribly on our group trip, so

547
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 3: I cut them off for good.

548
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 4: It's always the group trips.

549
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 3: Sorry if this is long. This happened in early twenty

550
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 3: twenty three, and after this trip, it left me with

551
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety and trust issues when it comes

552
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 3: to friendships. So I just wanted an outside perspective. By

553
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Particular Web two two sixty

554
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,479
Speaker 3: nine and if you want to your own stories, good

555
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 3: our slash shokey story tim separate it. In May of

556
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, my friends and I booked a cabin

557
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 3: for a long weekend trip away. When we went away,

558
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 3: I thought it was just going to be a chill

559
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 3: weekend where we could relax and spend time together. The

560
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 3: first issue started when my best friend at the time

561
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 3: and her girlfriend spend most of the trip away from

562
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 3: the group and hid in their room. Then being separated

563
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 3: from the group wasn't the issue in it itself, but

564
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 3: when I decided I wanted to do things on my

565
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: own or with one of the other people in the group,

566
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 3: I was accused of being lazy and not wanting to

567
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 3: spend time with anyone. At the time, I was going

568
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 3: through a lot with my mental health while also working

569
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 3: a full time job, and was just generally struggling. I

570
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: wasn't trying to be rude or ignore anyone, and I

571
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 3: still contributed when I needed to, but I wanted to

572
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 3: use this trip as a way to relax, going along

573
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 3: nature walks when I wasn't really feeling up to it

574
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 3: didn't feel like something I should have to do. This

575
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 3: was also alongside being constantly yelled at and ignored when

576
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 3: I was in group settings with them. Skip ahead. Tonight

577
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 3: three of the trip, and we decided we wanted to

578
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 3: have a barbecue and make some burgers, sausages and things

579
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 3: like that for dinner. When it came to cooking, everyone

580
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 3: kept avoiding it, so I said I would make the

581
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 3: food if everyone else just set the table and brought

582
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 3: out the snacks. I was making food for eight people

583
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 3: all by myself, and kept getting ignored every time I

584
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 3: asked for some help. When everyone finally had their food,

585
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 3: mine had gone cold, but I sat down to eat

586
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 3: it anyway, just so we could enjoy a meal as

587
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 3: a group. This was when the second thing that made

588
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 3: me want to cut them off happened. We were all

589
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 3: eating and every few seconds people were making horrible comments

590
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 3: about the food, saying it was crap.

591
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 4: Oh my god, these people are terrible.

592
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 3: These are not your friends. My best friend said, hmm,

593
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 3: just as good as crappy weatherspoons food. WHOA, I don't

594
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: know what that is, but that will be insulting.

595
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 4: This is OPI a woman. This is a human made

596
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 4: food for all of you, and you literally insult it.

597
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 4: I feel like that's like the most obvious, like no, no, yeah,

598
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 4: all time. Don't insult someone's food after they make it

599
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 4: for you.

600
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 3: Literally. This obviously hurt my feelings, but I tried to

601
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 3: brush it off by jokingly saying, if you keep saying

602
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 3: things about the food, I'm just gonna go inside and

603
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 3: eat alone. That doesn't sound like a joke. How do

604
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 3: you make that sound like a joke. He's like, man,

605
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 3: if he keep sharying things about my food, I'm gonna

606
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: go cry. Guys, it's funny if someone said, no, they're

607
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 3: not having a good time. I didn't want to cause

608
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: an issue, but I wanted to try and let them

609
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 3: know the comments were getting to me.

610
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 4: You have every right to also express being upset in

611
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 4: any moment.

612
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: However, the second I said this, one of them replied,

613
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 3: I can't remember who now, Okay, go.

614
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: Then WHOA your friends don't like you? Yeah? I was

615
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 4: I was gonna. I was just bringing up now this

616
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 4: is you're not like, this is not like a perfect

617
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 4: friend group. And then you're going on this trip and

618
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 4: everyone just transforms in front of you. I know this

619
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 4: is if there's a friend group with like this type

620
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 4: of behavior, I would be shocked that it wasn't happening

621
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 4: all this time before. This is indicative of like it

622
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 4: just feels like a lack of care in the friend

623
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 4: group at all.

624
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'd had enough at this point and just went

625
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 3: in and sat in my room to eat. I will

626
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 3: be honest, I broke down and cried. Oh. I left

627
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 3: my room an hour later when a group of them

628
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 3: went out for a walk, and just kept myself for

629
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 3: the rest of the night, as it was the last

630
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 3: night there and I didn't want any drama. Skip to

631
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 3: the next day. We are going home. Four of us

632
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 3: were in one car going back to where we live,

633
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 3: and four in the other car were going to where

634
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 3: they live. Around an hour and a half into the drive,

635
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 3: we stopped for some food at a restaurant and everyone

636
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,199
Speaker 3: got to talking. I was trying to just keep the

637
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 3: peace and get home, but as we were sitting down eating,

638
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 3: two of the people in the car I was in

639
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 3: started saying they didn't want to go straight home. They

640
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 3: wanted to go somewhere and do something that that would

641
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 3: piss me off. If I was really tired, I could

642
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 3: see that I'd be like, no, no, you're dropping me

643
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: off and then you can go wherever you.

644
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 4: Want out of a trip if you were tired. Yeah,

645
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 4: I'm going straight home after a trip.

646
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: At this point, I was feeling very fed up and

647
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: just wanted to go home, and one of my other

648
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: friends felt the same. So we both said, do you

649
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 3: guys mind just going out after we get back because

650
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: we just want to go home. This was apparently an issue,

651
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 3: and it started a whole thing of well, we want

652
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 3: to go out, and the two of us who didn't

653
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 3: want to were just trying to say that's fine, but

654
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 3: can you go out after you drop us off. This

655
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 3: went on for a little while until my ex best

656
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: friend's girlfriend decided to insert herself into the conversation and say, well,

657
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 3: if you don't want to go out with them, make

658
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 3: your own way home. This annoyed me because I had

659
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 3: been promised I would be taken home, and also it

660
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 3: just felt rude. She wasn't even part of the conversation

661
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: because she was in a different car for me and

662
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 3: the friends who wanted to go out. Oh this this

663
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 3: pisses me off.

664
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like a lack of goodwill at all.

665
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate these people. I was annoyed, but just

666
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: responded with I don't really have the money to be

667
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: doing that. Instead of leaving it there, she just had

668
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 3: to carry on and replied, didn't you just get paid?

669
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 3: How do you not have the money? How do you

670
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 3: not have the common sense to shut up?

671
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 4: Yeah? And also, Opie, you could have just said I'm

672
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 4: tired and I don't want to go out, and that's enough.

673
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 3: That should have been enough.

674
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 4: That's enough reason. You don't have to say it because

675
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 4: I don't have the money. You literally shouldn't have end

676
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 4: of a trip.

677
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: Well, I think LP specifically saying I don't have the

678
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: money to get like an uber to get Oh god, Yeah, yeah,

679
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 3: that's what they're saying, which is also insane that they're

680
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 3: putting her in the Yeah, I'm sorry, Like the it

681
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: seems like you guys agreed on going on a trip

682
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 3: and then driving home. There was no mention of going out.

683
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you want to change that, that's on you. Yeah,

684
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 4: arrange your own.

685
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 3: Ride for context. Out of my group, my friend and I,

686
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 3: who just wanted to go home, were the least well off.

687
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 3: We both struggled for money, and yes, I had just

688
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 3: been paid but after paying for this trip, paying for

689
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 3: all my bills, and treating myself to some bits, I

690
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 3: had money left, but not the kind of money to

691
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 3: be spending around forty pounds for train home. When I

692
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 3: thought I was going to be dropped off, I told

693
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: her that yes, I did have money, but not that

694
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 3: kind of money to be wasting on things like that.

695
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 3: I had already spent a lot for the trip because

696
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 3: it was a fancy and expensive cabin for such a

697
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: large group of us. It was also self catering, and

698
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: because we all had very different diets, we were buying

699
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 3: our own food as well as spending money to eat

700
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 3: at a couple of restaurants. Instead of acknowledging this fact,

701
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 3: she said, maybe you shouldn't have wasted your money in

702
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 3: fourteen books. Then why so much? Why does she keep talking?

703
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 3: What's going on there? This was the final straw for me,

704
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 3: and I just grabbed my bag and walked out, making

705
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 3: my way to the car to wait for them to finish. Yes,

706
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 3: I know fourteen books is a lot, but I spent

707
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 3: twenty five pounds at most on them. I get a

708
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 3: lot of my books secondhand in charity shops and also

709
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 3: from the works where the most expensive book is around

710
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 3: six pounds.

711
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 4: And also it's so relevant, It's so irrelevant what you're

712
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 4: spending your money on. Yeah, just because you even if

713
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 4: you did have money, you didn't want to spend money

714
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 4: on a change of plans. That wasn't your change of

715
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 4: plans after a whole week of a trip is totally valid.

716
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 3: Literally, And also it wouldn't like even if you got

717
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, like a like a coffee. You spent

718
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 3: eight bucks on a coffee, doesn't matter if the it

719
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 3: doesn't matter if the purchase is deemed like significant or insignificant. Again,

720
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: you made an agreement that you would go to the

721
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 3: strip and go home. That's It's the only thing that matters.

722
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 3: At this point, I was upset and hurt at how

723
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 3: they had been treating me the whole trip. I had

724
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: been yelled at by my best friend's girlfriend at least twice.

725
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 3: They mocked my food after I cooked for all of them,

726
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 3: made comments about my money, and told me to make

727
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 3: my own way home. I had finally had enough. I

728
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 3: called my mom when I got outside and explained the

729
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 3: situation well in tears again, and we sorted out. So

730
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 3: my dad came and picked me up because I didn't

731
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 3: want to be around them anymore. They finally came out

732
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 3: of the restaurant after fifteen minutes of me standing outside alone,

733
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: and I just asked to get my bags out of

734
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 3: the car. One of my friends tried to stop me,

735
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 3: but at this point I was too upset and sick

736
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: of being treated so horribly. My dad picked me up

737
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 3: and dropped me off at a train station near his

738
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 3: and in the end, I had to pay for a

739
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: train ticket to get home, which cost me around twenty

740
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 3: eight pounds. My mom gave me the money back for

741
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: that because she felt bad for me, and I really

742
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 3: appreciated it. When I finally made it home, I saw

743
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 3: online they had been home for over an hour and

744
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 3: never even ended up going out. Jeez, I'd literally never

745
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 3: speak to these people again.

746
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 4: With friends like this, who needs friends.

747
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: No one checked on me, and I didn't hear from

748
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 3: any of them for over a day. When I had

749
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 3: been waiting for my dad to pick me up, I

750
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 3: had blocked my best friend's girlfriend because I didn't want

751
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 3: her to be able to contact me. But I want

752
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 3: you guys to be able to listen to full episodes

753
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 3: of stories, just like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts,

754
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: Spotify or your favorite podcast app and search a booky

755
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 3: story time. But there is a little bit left to

756
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 3: this story. But do you have any find a lots just.

757
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 4: I'm so happy for a Pee to stop being friends

758
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 4: with these people don't care about her. These are consistently rude.

759
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 3: Consistently just the worst. Truly. I hope you never have

760
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 3: to see them.

761
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 4: Ope will be your friend.

762
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's always it's people like Oh, it's hard

763
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 5: to make friends. It's not yes, like to be it's

764
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 5: not no, because you can find people out there. You can,

765
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 5: especially with the Internet now you can find like communities.

766
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 4: I mean, look at our community I'm throwing. It's not me.

767
00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 4: It's a nonprofit that I'm facilitating for tomorrow, all around

768
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 4: belonging and connection. Op Come over for free. You'll meet friends,

769
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 4: you'll meet.

770
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 3: Cool people, and we'll drive you home right after.

771
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, after we go out.

772
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 3: Of course, instead of messaging me to check in out

773
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 3: after everything. And the only reason my so called best

774
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 3: friend at the time messaged me was to ask why

775
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 3: I had blocked her girlfriend and to talk down to me,

776
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 3: saying I was being dramatic. A few days after all

777
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 3: of this happened, I decided I was done with all

778
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 3: the drama this group had brought me and cut them

779
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 3: all off. So am I the ahlever cutting all of

780
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 3: my friends off after this trip?

781
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 4: You know what you are? You are the self lover.

782
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 4: That is an act of self love to cut these

783
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 4: people out of your life and to make this space

784
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 4: for people to actually care for you, who actually love you,

785
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 4: to come in and to have a connection that feels

786
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 4: good and is healthy.

787
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 3: Agreed. Because again, if people are treating you, mistreating you, uh,

788
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 3: don't just put up with it because they're your friends.

789
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 3: You don't have to put up with anything. And that's

790
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 3: my final thought.

791
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: Hey is John og host, were don't get back to

792
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: the stories but a quick freemanute break of ads from

793
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:07,919
Speaker 1: our sponsors.

794
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 3: My am most trying to sabotage our wedding, but we

795
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,720
Speaker 3: got the last laugh.

796
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 2: That was it. That was the last one. No.

797
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 6: No, My husband and I are celebrating our five year

798
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 6: anniversary next month, so I thought for S and G

799
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 6: i'd share what went down with the wedding. My husband

800
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 6: and I both have very dramatic families. Because of this,

801
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 6: I was very skeptical about having a traditional wedding.

802
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Ecstatic Intern sixteen thirty three,

803
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 3: and if you want to spent your own stories, go

804
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 3: to our slashogy story time suparate it. So we settled

805
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 3: on getting eloped without telling anyone and then holding a

806
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 3: small wedding about a month after we returned from our

807
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 3: vacation our a little mandrim plus honeymoon. It was very

808
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 3: short notice, but we wanted it to be just immediate

809
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,959
Speaker 3: family and close friends, so it wasn't a big deal.

810
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: When we invited his mother, she was rather upset because

811
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 3: they have a lot of family and we weren't inviting

812
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 3: the bulk of them, my husband's brothers, their wives and kids,

813
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: and a couple of his cousins. My husband explained to

814
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 3: her that it wasn't a big event held in our

815
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 3: backyard and that he only wanted those most important to

816
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 3: him to be there. That pissed her off even more

817
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 3: because she took it as him saying the rest of

818
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 3: the family wasn't important to him. He told him that

819
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 3: if that was the case, then she might not come

820
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 3: at all. He told her he hoped she'd read consider

821
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 3: but that it was her prerogative and we left over

822
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,800
Speaker 3: the course of the month, she would call him frequently

823
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 3: and ask if various people could be invited family members,

824
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 3: family friends, and at one point random people from her church.

825
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 3: Neither of us are religious. He told her no on

826
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 3: most accounts, including both of his uncles, one of his aunts,

827
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 3: and her pastor. She called me once or twice to

828
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 3: ask but wedding arrangements, if she needed to bring anything,

829
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 3: and asked if I wanted to go with her and

830
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,720
Speaker 3: both sister in laws to get dresses for the wedding.

831
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: I told her most of the plans and went with

832
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 3: them to pick dresses, mostly because I was terrified one

833
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,720
Speaker 3: of them would pick something white. Shopping was very tame.

834
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 3: They were cordial at least, which is saying something for

835
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 3: three women who all hate each other and me. Nobody

836
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 3: picked out anything in appropriate. The only weird thing was

837
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 3: that all three women adamantly complained that they never got

838
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 3: a real wedding, and when I was asked to show

839
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 3: them a picture of my dress, they gave half hearted compliments.

840
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 3: I asked my younger sister and my best friend to

841
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 3: be my bridesmaids. My husband asked one of his brothers

842
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 3: and his best friend, and we had two of my

843
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 3: nieces and one of his as flower girls. Once I

844
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 3: started setting plans in motion, that's when mother in law

845
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 3: and one of my sister in laws started acting weird.

846
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: Sister in law apparently threw a fit that her husband

847
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 3: and daughter were asked to be in the wedding and

848
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 3: she wasn't. Brother in law wound up asking me if

849
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: I'd consider adding her as a bridesmaid, and I said no.

850
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 3: He didn't blame me, but it did cause him and

851
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 3: their daughter to almost drop from the wedding completely. A

852
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 3: few days later, however, she dropped it. My grandma, who

853
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 3: I am no contact with, dropped by our house to

854
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 3: tell me that she was told about the wedding and

855
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 3: that I was pregnant. Since she couldn't get in touch

856
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 3: with me, she wanted to ask if she could come.

857
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 3: I have no idea how she got her address. I

858
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 3: told her I wasn't pregnant, there was no wedding, and

859
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 3: not to come by my house unannounced again, or I'd

860
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 3: call the cops.

861
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 2: Don't call me, don't call me, don't come.

862
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 3: Buy my house. She left. Every time we went to

863
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 3: mother in law, she would ask me to bring my

864
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 3: dress next time, so she could see it, I would

865
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 3: forget on purpose because I had a gut feeling she

866
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,760
Speaker 3: was planning something. She continually asked me about the plans

867
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 3: for the wedding, but I figured she was just excited

868
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 3: and wanted to be involved, so I told her if

869
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 3: she wanted, she could cook some of the food. She accepted.

870
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,479
Speaker 3: She asked if I wanted her to make the cake,

871
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 3: but I told her no because my sister, who's a

872
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 3: great baker, had already offered. She told me what she

873
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 3: was going to make, and my mother made the rest.

874
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 3: I di wied pretty much everything myself, with some help

875
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 3: from my sister and best friend. We rented tables and chairs.

876
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 3: I plan to put all the food in the kitchen,

877
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 3: which has French doors, going to our patio and the backyard,

878
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 3: where I planned for the ceremony and reception to be.

879
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 3: I wanted as few people in the house as possible,

880
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 3: since we have pets, including big dogs, and I knew

881
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 3: they would go absolutely nuts at a house full of people.

882
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 3: The night before the big day, mother in law came

883
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 3: over to bring what she had cooked. She asked to

884
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 3: see what my mom had cooked and the cake my

885
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: sister made, which she said was gorgeous. She asked me

886
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 3: to try my dress on for her, and before I

887
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 3: could disagree, my husband stepped in to tell her we

888
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 3: had a big day tomorrow and he thought that he and.

889
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 2: I should get arrested. Nice w good job.

890
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 3: The morning of the big day, my sister and bestie

891
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,399
Speaker 3: came early to help me get everything else ready. An

892
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 3: hour or so later, brother in law showed up with

893
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 3: his daughter, saying sister in law would come later. Mother

894
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 3: in law showed up right after, in regular clothes and

895
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 3: without my husband's little brother. When I asked her, she

896
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,479
Speaker 3: said she was going to go back home to change

897
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: and pick him up, and then come back so that

898
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 3: she could help set up. Her version of helping was

899
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 3: telling my sister and bestie where to put stuff, then

900
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 3: moving it around. If she didn't like it, I let

901
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 3: it go and told them to do the same. About

902
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: an hour before the ceremony was supposed to start, people

903
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: started showing up and mother in law ran home to change.

904
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 3: I started socializing and was immediately weirded out because people

905
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 3: kept mentioning babies and pregnant eight Then I remembered my

906
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 3: grandma mentioned it as well. My husband's cousin asked if

907
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: I had any symptoms yet, and when I asked her

908
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 3: what she was talking about, she said, sister in law

909
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: had told people I was pregnant and that was why

910
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 3: we were getting married on such short notice.

911
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 2: Not pregnant. Why is this person lands why I'm pregnant?

912
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 3: I told her that was a lie and that I'd

913
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 3: appreciated if she told anyone else who mentioned it the

914
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: same thing. She wasn't surprised, though, because the whole family

915
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 3: knows how sister in law is. About twenty minutes before

916
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 3: the ceremony, I left my bestie to oversee everything downstairs

917
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 3: while my sister and mom helped me change into my dress.

918
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, my bestie ran up to announce

919
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 3: that my husband's ex wife was there, apparently invited by

920
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 3: sister in law.

921
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,760
Speaker 2: Dude, what is his sister doing?

922
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 3: Why did the ex wife come?

923
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 2: Sister just wants to marry her own brother.

924
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 3: Bestie found my husband, brought him upstairs, and I told

925
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 3: him to please ask her to leave. My husband and

926
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 3: his brother handled the situation and she left. Then his

927
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 3: brother pulled sister in law aside to cuss her out

928
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 3: for bringing the X. I finished getting ready and came

929
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: back downstairs. At this point, everyone was in the backyard

930
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: except the idol party. I was then told that mother

931
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: in law hadn't come back yet, and it was pretty

932
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 3: much ceremony time already, so we started without her. She

933
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 3: arrived right before I was supposed to walk down the aisle,

934
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 3: and you guessed it, a white dress which had an

935
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 3: eerily similar design to mine.

936
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 2: So let's kick.

937
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 3: It shocked. Let's kick. Instead of coming inside and going

938
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: to the back where I could have seen her, she

939
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: sneaked around and went through my fence gate, walking straight

940
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 3: down the aisle in the middle of the procession. I

941
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 3: tried not to freak out on her right then and there,

942
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 3: and gracefully walked down the aisle. She wasn't done, though,

943
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,839
Speaker 3: because before we could start, mother in law stood up

944
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 3: and insisted on making an acknowledgment for my husband's deceased aunt,

945
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 3: followed by a moment of prayer. We continued on, did

946
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 3: our vows, and towards the end, sister in law very

947
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 3: loudly said, isn't there a part where we get to object,

948
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 3: to which I yelled back.

949
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: No, where's anyone else?

950
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, why is it anyone tackling her? To the ground.

951
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 2: Somebody needs to do something what I need that back

952
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 2: cannot be allowed to get away with this behavior.

953
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 3: We almost finished when sister in law decided to stand

954
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 3: and say you shouldn't marry her, she's awful, to which

955
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 3: my husband responded, we're already married and sealed it with

956
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 3: a kiss. After the ceremony, I went to change into

957
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 3: something else. If this lady is still here, I'm gonna

958
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 3: be shocked even.

959
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 2: A Just because you wore a white dress to our

960
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: wedding doesn't mean you're the one getting married loser loser.

961
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 3: By the time I came back down, my husband's brothers,

962
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: sister in law, and their daughter had already left. Mother

963
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,479
Speaker 3: in law was berating my husband for getting a lope

964
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 3: without telling anyone. What sister in law said is all

965
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 3: anyone was talking about. But my husband managed to calm

966
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,879
Speaker 3: me down and we went on a smoke break. I thought,

967
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,240
Speaker 3: at least nothing else could go wrong, but I was mistaken.

968
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,399
Speaker 3: When we came back to the backyard, mother in law

969
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 3: had already started letting people inside to eat, including our cake.

970
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 3: Why are people dumb?

971
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 2: Who are these people?

972
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 5: Who are have.

973
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 3: They never been to a wedding before?

974
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,919
Speaker 2: Lither back. Dumb idiots is the primordial ooze.

975
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 3: My sister started crying because we didn't get to take pictures.

976
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 3: I calmed down my sister while my husband talked to

977
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 3: his mom. Then his uncle showed up uninvited. Mother in

978
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 3: law claimed she thought they only weren't invited to the ceremony.

979
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 3: My husband's cousin asked them to leave, and they did.

980
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 3: Just as they were leaving, my grandmother showed up and

981
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 3: began crying, insulting me because I lied to her about

982
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 3: the wedding. She said I didn't want her there, that

983
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,479
Speaker 3: I don't love her, and that I'm ungrateful. My mother

984
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 3: walked her out after I told her i'd call the

985
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 3: cops if she didn't leave. After that, I turned the

986
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 3: music up and my husband and I ate drank and

987
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 3: danced and ignored everyone else. My niece accidentally spilled juice

988
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 3: on mother in law's dress. Very clever, since you can't

989
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 3: really be mad at a four year old shut out,

990
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 3: ash shout out the shout out freaking four year old.

991
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: Mother in law asked to go inside and borrow something

992
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 3: to change into. My husband said, why don't you go home?

993
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 3: The night ended with me and my husband happy, full

994
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 3: and wasted. Since the party thinned out significantly, we wanted

995
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: to take advantage of all the food and drinks. My

996
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 3: sister and mom were the last people there. We played

997
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,720
Speaker 3: cards together until we started to pass out at the table.

998
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 3: They spent the night and we went to bed. By

999
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 3: the way, you can spend the night with us if

1000
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: you listen to full episodes and stories just like this.

1001
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast

1002
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 3: app well search a puckist time.

1003
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 2: Uh huh, I spend the night with us and we'll

1004
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: be all up in those ears, all up in those ears.

1005
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 2: Oh what.

1006
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 3: I'm still so happy we got eloped on a beautiful

1007
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 3: vacation and that the story of our marriage doesn't start

1008
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 3: with this wild wedding. If it had, I would have

1009
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 3: absolutely lost it at several points. Instead, I can look

1010
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 3: back and laugh at the fake wedding party we decided

1011
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,879
Speaker 3: to have to make everyone else happy, and how much

1012
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 3: they hated it. Anyway, in case you're wondering, were very

1013
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 3: low contact with mother in law and sister in law

1014
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 3: as much as we can be. With my husband still

1015
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 3: being able to see his nisan brother. We live across

1016
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 3: the country from them now, so it's not nearly as

1017
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 3: big as a deal as it was. Thanks for sticking around.

1018
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 3: I know this was a long one, and that is

1019
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 3: the end of that story. That's a freaking wrap. Wash

1020
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 3: your hands up, Wash your hands of this business. Wash

1021
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 3: your hands. They're getting their primordial ooze all over. We'll

1022
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 3: get what's coming to them.

1023
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: Because they're creatures. But don't let these creatures. You know,

1024
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 2: and I feel like you're already aware of, which is

1025
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: why you did the eloping and why you had the

1026
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 2: fake wedding, really the second wedding exactly.

1027
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 3: That's what you can know. That's what you gotta do.

1028
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: Don't let the ooze back into your life.

1029
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

1030
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 2: My conservative in laws despise me for my beliefs. I

1031
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 2: don't want to celebrate Christmas with them, don't. I mean,

1032
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,760
Speaker 2: doesn't sound like there's gonna be a lot of Christmas

1033
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: cheater backstory. I am an agnostic Wickan and my husband

1034
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 2: is agnostic. His family is super conservative, traditional Christian. They

1035
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 2: have never liked me, and they say things behind my back,

1036
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: but they are kind of weird in that they're fake

1037
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 2: and ice to my face and are always so so fake.

1038
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from music Ready for Halloween

1039
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, but

1040
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime subred. The entire family

1041
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 2: is incapable of an adult, honest conversation. They ignore anything unpleasant.

1042
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 2: If anyone brings up something controversial or unpleasant that could

1043
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: possibly start in argument, the entire family shuts down and

1044
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 2: immediately changes the subject and pretends nothing ever happened. This

1045
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: also means my husband has a very difficult time confronting

1046
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: or talking to them. So here are a few of

1047
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 2: the things that they do and say to and about me,

1048
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 2: not including the normal annoying in law things like general condescension.

1049
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 2: Mother in law is bad for that. They warned my

1050
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 2: husband about dating me because I'm a witch. They called

1051
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 2: me a devil worshiper. They refuse to attend a dinner

1052
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 2: we invited them to around Halloween, even though it was

1053
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 2: important to me and I not only attend all their

1054
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: holiday dinners even though I don't celebrate their holidays, but

1055
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: I even attended a church service one Christmas Eve because

1056
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 2: it was their family tradition and I wanted us to

1057
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:43,800
Speaker 2: all do family stuff together. Not only did they refuse

1058
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 2: to attend, they acted as though it was disrespectful and

1059
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 2: rude of me to ask them to come, and made

1060
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 2: rude comments about my religion. Then after we invited them,

1061
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 2: his mother called around the whole family to tell everyone

1062
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: that I am a witch. Mother in law tries to

1063
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,720
Speaker 2: convince us not to have children. It is very widely

1064
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 2: accepted by myself, my husband, and my brother and sister

1065
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 2: in law that this is because she doesn't want me

1066
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 2: raising heathen witch children. We plan to adopt children, and

1067
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 2: his grandmother has stated that adoption is selfish. They regularly

1068
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 2: declare that we are disrespectful of them for any number

1069
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: of things, including living together before marriage, living in sin,

1070
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 2: adopting children instead of passing on their family genetics, sleeping

1071
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 2: in a cabin together when we all went camping. Basically,

1072
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 2: they feel we are disrespecting them for living our lives

1073
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 2: in any way other than how they tell us to

1074
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 2: that Christmas, my sister in law and my brother in

1075
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 2: law's ex girlfriend and I all got the same generic gift. Yes,

1076
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 2: they gave us two wives the same gift as the

1077
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: ex girlfriend. Not a big deal, but it shows how

1078
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 2: they don't care any more about us than their grandson's

1079
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: ex girlfriend. When my husband confronted them about the way

1080
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 2: they treat me, they just brush it off as she's

1081
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:55,720
Speaker 2: being sensitive.

1082
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 3: And we don't do anything wrong.

1083
00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 2: Now to this Christmas, we bought our first home, something

1084
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 2: I'm incredibly proud of as I bought it at twenty five,

1085
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 2: which was my life's goal. I love having parties and

1086
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 2: dinners and entertaining and hosting. This was finally my time

1087
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 2: to have a family holiday in my very own house.

1088
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 2: My parents are so excited to come over, and my

1089
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 2: mom has no problem giving me this holiday because it's

1090
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 2: so important to me. Already months ago, my husband mentioned

1091
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 2: to his grandma, who always has Christmas at their house,

1092
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 2: that we wanted to host Christmas this year to make

1093
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 2: dinner and have gifts and everything and make our new

1094
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 2: house truly a home. His grandma basically brushed them off

1095
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,919
Speaker 2: and ignored him and said we'll see. Well. The other day,

1096
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 2: my husband's grandma mass texted the family saying that this

1097
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 2: was the family's year to have Christmas Day. They alternate

1098
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 2: Christmas Day between the family Christmas and in law Christmas,

1099
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: even though they switch all the time anyway, and everyone

1100
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,439
Speaker 2: be at the grandparents' house at this time. Blah blah

1101
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: blah blah. So my husband texts her and says, so

1102
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 2: we wanted to host Christmas this year. Remember now, while

1103
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 2: hosting Christmas is very important to me personally, I may

1104
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 2: have been able to bite the bullet as usual with

1105
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 2: his family and give in if they had some excuse

1106
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 2: at least for why it should be at their house.

1107
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 2: But instead of taking my feelings at all into account,

1108
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 2: or even giving us any chance, or even giving us

1109
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 2: reasons why it makes more sense to do it there,

1110
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 2: she texted back. If you don't want to come, then

1111
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: that's fine. I find this beyond disrespectful, not just to

1112
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 2: me but to their grandson. It's rude and hurtful that

1113
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: they can't entertain the idea of letting us host their

1114
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,959
Speaker 2: precious dinner, especially when the grandma broke both her arms

1115
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,760
Speaker 2: a couple of years ago and the family was ready

1116
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 2: to just give up having Easter. I stepped in and

1117
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 2: cooked an entire Easter dinner for like seventeen people. But

1118
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 2: more so, that they could care so little about our

1119
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 2: feelings that they would rather us just not be a

1120
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 2: part of Christmas than to talk to us about it

1121
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 2: like adults and think about our feelings. My husband tries,

1122
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: but they brush off everything he says, and like I said,

1123
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,320
Speaker 2: they ignore confrontation. He has a difficult time with confrontation

1124
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 2: himself because of how they brought him up. Fair enough,

1125
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 2: I think no contact, that's how we go moving forward.

1126
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 2: Who cares if you're at Christmas these people's.

1127
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a better Christmas without them, honestly.

1128
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 2: Truly, honestly, not that I want him to cut them

1129
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 2: out or anything, but if my family treated him the

1130
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: way they treat me, I wouldn't talk to them anymore.

1131
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 2: I'm debating what I want to do about Christmas now.

1132
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: I'm having Christmas at our house for my family and

1133
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 2: close friends, but I really really don't want to go

1134
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 2: to his family's Christmases. I'm uncomfortable around his family in

1135
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 2: the first place, and after this rudeness, I feel like

1136
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 2: walking in there would just be admitting defeat and I

1137
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 2: would be really unhappy being around people that don't care

1138
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: about me. But my husband's favorite part of Christmas is

1139
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 2: the family time. All I want is for him to

1140
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 2: have a great holiday. Is favorite holiday. But I also

1141
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: can't turn myself into the daughter in law that gets

1142
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 2: treated like crap by her new family. That's not who

1143
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: I am. I don't know what to do, and there

1144
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 2: is an update. Honestly, I think I think your husband

1145
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 2: sounds end Yeah, your husband sounds like he's been brainwashed

1146
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 2: into well thinking that that's what he enjoys.

1147
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I think he has this idea that

1148
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 3: family is very important because he's been raised in that

1149
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,720
Speaker 3: culture where they're saying like family above all else unless

1150
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 3: you don't fall into line. And I think you would

1151
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 3: need to have a conversation with him and say, I

1152
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 3: understand that you want to be around your family, but

1153
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 3: I feel like every time that we do go around them,

1154
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 3: I am incredibly disrespected and villainized for what I believe

1155
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 3: and what I practice. And I can't do that. If

1156
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 3: if you want to do it, that is your choice,

1157
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: but I won't be able to join you.

1158
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,320
Speaker 2: So my husband talked to his family today. I honestly,

1159
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 2: not proudly, really just expected it to go badly and

1160
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 2: not have to see them anymore. It did, however, go

1161
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: apparently really well. He talked to his grandma, grandpa, and mom. Now,

1162
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 2: his grandpa is nice, he still is a very traditional person.

1163
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 2: Does look down on a lot of our choices, like

1164
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: pre marital cohabitation, but in the long run, he is

1165
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 2: the nicest and the only one I could actually possibly

1166
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 2: believe might like me. His grandpa had no idea what

1167
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: was going on or that anything ever transpired. The grandma

1168
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 2: and mom keep him in the dark because he is

1169
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 2: the moral paragon of the family, and if he had

1170
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 2: known the things his wife and daughter had been doing,

1171
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 2: he'd probably we would have scolded them and made things right.

1172
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: During this talk, my husband brought up many of the

1173
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 2: issues and all the things that they have said or

1174
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 2: done that make me feel unwelcome in the family. He

1175
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:12,919
Speaker 2: told them how it has affected me and himself, how

1176
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 2: disrespected we feel, and that their comment about Christmas was unacceptable.

1177
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 2: They agreed that what Grandma texted was uncalled for, and

1178
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 2: apparently the entire family obviously excluding us, which involved the grandparents, aunts, uncles,

1179
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 2: and mother in law, had a big talk about Christmas.

1180
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 2: They discussed why they wouldn't want to have Christmas at

1181
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: our house. Apparently, what his family told him at their

1182
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 2: little talk was that the aunts and uncles have no

1183
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 2: connection to ready for Halloween, which in my opinion is

1184
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 2: just ridiculous. We all have a family connection. The entire family,

1185
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 2: including me, gets together for holidays just the same. It

1186
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 2: is simply a change in venue. I also pointed out,

1187
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 2: while venting to my husband that their connection is with him,

1188
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 2: their nephew, and why were they singling me out as

1189
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 2: if I'm a stranger who isn't married to their relative,

1190
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,719
Speaker 2: Not to mention, they have actually invited my family to

1191
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 2: holidays two people who have even less connection to them.

1192
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 2: So the whole idea is just I don't even know.

1193
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 2: Yes you do, girl, They're lying, Yeah, you do know.

1194
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 2: They're full of cry. My husband brought up his grandma's

1195
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: selfish adoption comment, and her response.

1196
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 3: Was, Wow, if you were walking out into the street

1197
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 3: about to get hit by a bus.

1198
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 2: Wouldn't you want me to stop you. I just don't

1199
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 2: even know what to say about that, so I'll let

1200
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 2: you do with this information what you will. He replied, Wait,

1201
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 2: are you suggesting adoption is.

1202
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 3: Like getting hit by a bus?

1203
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 2: Or me being with ready for Halloween is like getting

1204
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 2: hit by a bus. At this point I was sure

1205
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 2: she meant the latter, and I started crying.

1206
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 3: What part of this was good?

1207
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 2: None of this was good?

1208
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 3: Part of this is good.

1209
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:41,360
Speaker 2: He assured me that she meant adoption. Maybe I'm being sensitive.

1210
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,399
Speaker 2: Either way, it's horrible, and she backtracked. He brought up

1211
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,759
Speaker 2: a lot of things to which his mother just got

1212
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 2: defensive about or didn't respond. His grandparents, however, said they

1213
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 2: want to make things right, make it up to me,

1214
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: and apologize for everything. I think the grandpa being there

1215
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 2: is what influenced the grandma to be so nice about it.

1216
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 2: And by the way, are you the devil, because if

1217
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 2: you were, then I guess you wouldn't have any interest

1218
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 2: in listening to full episodes and stories like this.

1219
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 3: The devil doesn't mess with all this.

1220
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 2: The Devil doesn't subscribe to our podcast, and you can

1221
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 2: listen to it on Spotify or iHeartRadio or Apple podcast

1222
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 2: or every pot you know, whatever you can think of.

1223
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 3: Just search.

1224
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 2: There's a man up on our roof. So the fact

1225
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 2: is his mom said nothing. She just got defensive at

1226
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 2: everything he said, didn't apologize or admit any wrongdoing, and

1227
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,320
Speaker 2: expressed no desire to make things right or treat me better.

1228
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 2: To be honest, she is the one I feel most

1229
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 2: uncomfortable with. She was a single mother with twin boys

1230
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 2: at seventeen, she was a bipolar, heavy drinker, and they

1231
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 2: took care of her. Now that her sons have family,

1232
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 2: she's more manipulative than ever. And I don't think her

1233
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 2: opinion of me or our relationship will ever change. Dinging

1234
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: ding ding ding Bingo. But I am willing to have

1235
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: a better relationship with his grandparents and the rest of

1236
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 2: his family. I suppose I would just have to suffer

1237
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 2: through interactions with his mother as usual. And that is

1238
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 2: the end of that story. Well it did not go well.

1239
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 3: Oh I was Hey, I was really waiting for the

1240
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 3: part where it went well, and it never came. So

1241
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 3: I think you need to have a talk with your

1242
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 3: husband where you say, really, I think we need to

1243
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 3: adjust our language because you don't know what well means. Yeah,

1244
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 3: we need to take a look at the dictionary and say, oh,

1245
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 3: what's the definition of well, because it wasn't that. That

1246
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: is the end of that story.

1247
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1248
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1249
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:25,839
Speaker 4: Mine.

1250
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 3: If you accidentally broke my expensive glasses, my sister in

1251
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,439
Speaker 3: law blamed me for it.

1252
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should have a bottom in the first place.

1253
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 3: This is why I got contacts my glasses.

1254
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 4: My glasses.

1255
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 3: I can't without my glass. So for a quick backstory,

1256
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 3: I've been with my husband for four years and I

1257
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 3: love him dearly. His family can be interesting. They're really

1258
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 3: snippy with each other and they fight a lot. By

1259
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from kid broke my glasses. And

1260
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1261
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 3: our slash Okay story time ce bridd it. So, my

1262
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 3: sister in law is not always the nicest person, but

1263
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 3: I think a lot of it is because she five children,

1264
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 3: she works, and her husband doesn't help her much, so

1265
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,720
Speaker 3: she's always tired. Also, I make less than thirty thousand

1266
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 3: dollars a year and don't have the best health insurance.

1267
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 3: But I depend on my glasses because my vision is

1268
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 3: so bad, so I always invest in them. I just

1269
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 3: got this pair of glasses last month and spent about

1270
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 3: four hundred dollars on them. So the problem. One of

1271
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 3: my nephews is severely autistic. He is not verbal, he

1272
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,280
Speaker 3: still wears diapers, and he can be prone to fits

1273
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 3: of rage and frustration. I am not the best with

1274
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 3: children either, which compounds the problem with me. However, he

1275
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,319
Speaker 3: has recently been enrolled in a special need school that

1276
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 3: seems to be helping him, and I've learned how to

1277
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 3: understand him somewhat. We are visiting for Christmas, and just

1278
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 3: last night the autistic nephew crawled in my lap and

1279
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 3: started grabbing at my face. This is how he gets

1280
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 3: people's attention, and you're supposed to hold his shoulders to

1281
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 3: show you're listening, lush, paying attention. But before I could

1282
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:56,239
Speaker 3: reach down and grab his shoulders, he yanked my glasses

1283
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 3: off in his hands, and the frames right off. I

1284
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 3: mean he's squeezed them in half in his hands, and

1285
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:06,959
Speaker 3: the bridge snat. Oh, here's what gets me. I didn't

1286
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 3: grab his shoulders then, because I was so shocked. So

1287
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,439
Speaker 3: he started squealing and getting frustrated, and his mother, who

1288
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 3: had been sitting across from me the entire time watching, asked,

1289
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 3: what heck is your problem and took him off my lap.

1290
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 3: I told her my problem was that I couldn't see,

1291
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 3: and she just grunted, you have an extra pair and

1292
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 3: walked away. I know it's totally fair to expect her

1293
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 3: to pay for the glasses, especially since I need a

1294
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 3: new pair every year and my extra pair will work.

1295
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 3: It's just a degree or two lower than my current one.

1296
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 3: I cannot afford another four hundred dollar pair of glasses now,

1297
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 3: and I think it's pretty crappy that I'm getting blamed

1298
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:44,040
Speaker 3: for her kid breaking my stuff. But he has special

1299
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 3: needs and she is stretched so thin financially and emotionally,

1300
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 3: so I have a hard time figuring out how to

1301
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 3: ask her to pay for them. I'm honestly afraid that

1302
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 3: if I ask for the money, she'll take it out

1303
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 3: on my husband or my husband and I won't be

1304
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 3: invited back for the holidays. As difficult as his family

1305
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 3: can be, they are still as family and he loves

1306
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 3: them and so do I. So what's the best way

1307
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 3: to ask without burning all for bridges? Or should I

1308
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 3: just sit up and pay for them myself?

1309
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 2: Edit?

1310
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 3: Effing hell, writ my inbox edit to one lens is

1311
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 3: totally broken, the other is scratch beyond prepare. I'm sorry

1312
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 3: I should have said that. I don't think I was

1313
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 3: very clear with my eye doctor what I call because

1314
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 3: I was in a panic. So I will try updating again,

1315
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 3: and there is another update. First, I want to thank

1316
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 3: everybody for their input and perspectives. You all were very helpful.

1317
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 3: I want to give a special thank you to the

1318
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 3: people with children with disabilities who mention their own experiences

1319
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 3: and explain that even though their children have special needs,

1320
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 3: they as parents are still responsible for what they break. Yes,

1321
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 3: parents can use their child's disability as a way to

1322
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 3: shrug off responsibility. I needed to hear that. Next, I

1323
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 3: wanted to explain a little about why I can't just

1324
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 3: buy glasses online and feel safe. And I hope I

1325
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 3: don't sound condescending. My better eye is negative nine point

1326
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 3: five and my other eye is negative fourteen, and I

1327
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 3: have an astigmatism. Oh my god, you're blind. That is

1328
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 3: that is an intense No, that's like literally you're blind.

1329
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 2: Oh you got some thick lenses.

1330
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, I mean that makes sense why you can't

1331
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 3: order them online, because that's like a very wow. I

1332
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 3: will probably be legally blind in the one eye within

1333
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 3: the next decade because it is getting so bad so quickly,

1334
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,400
Speaker 3: and so I think from what I've learned, it's without

1335
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 3: glasses that's legally blind. But then if you have glasses

1336
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 3: at a certain point, you just become legally blind because

1337
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 3: contacts and glasses don't work at a certain point. In

1338
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 3: other words, my eyes are almost worthless without correction. I

1339
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 3: need my glasses to be perfect, so I trust experts

1340
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 3: to handle the issue for me. There was even a

1341
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:35,920
Speaker 3: time when they called me and said they had to

1342
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,439
Speaker 3: send the new glasses back because they got them, check

1343
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 3: them and noticed they were off. I drive, cook handle

1344
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 3: heavy equipment, and sometimes watch children, so I need my

1345
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 3: vision to be spot on. I truly appreciate the recommendations

1346
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 3: for websites, but from my personal experiences and from what

1347
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 3: experts have told me, it is not a good idea

1348
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 3: for somebody with eyes like mine. I contacted the eye

1349
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 3: doctor again this morning and asked about my glasses. They confirmed,

1350
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 3: but I would have to pay for the new lenses,

1351
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,439
Speaker 3: but my frames were under warranty. That's good. They'll give

1352
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 3: me twenty five percent off the lenses I had before,

1353
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,040
Speaker 3: and we'll also order up a second pair in discontinued

1354
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 3: frames with more basic lenses, no transition, lower high index level,

1355
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 3: so on for emergencies, and I would have the second

1356
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 3: pair for free. Today my husband spoke to his sister.

1357
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 3: He told her that Andrew broke my brand new glasses,

1358
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 3: and because Andrew is her child, she is responsible for

1359
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 3: the damage, just as she would be if one of

1360
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 3: the other kids broke a neighbor's window. He said he

1361
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 3: realized she doesn't really care about my broken glasses, and

1362
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 3: she assumed my older pair is jess as scutt. He

1363
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 3: told her that's not how it works. I am blind

1364
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 3: without them, and I need the most up to date

1365
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 3: prescription to see properly and not get headaches. And I

1366
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 3: feel you because whenever I wear the wrong prescription, even

1367
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 3: if it's just a little bit off, I have the

1368
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 3: worst headache. Called hey. Sister in law said it wasn't

1369
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,600
Speaker 3: her fault because Andrew is autistic, and my husband got

1370
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 3: upset and told her she can't keep using that excuse

1371
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 3: every time Andrew breaks something. He also pointed out that

1372
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,800
Speaker 3: we've heard from other parents who they would pay for

1373
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 3: any damage their autistic child caused thanks Reddit, and she

1374
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 3: got super pissed that he'd mentioned it to somebody else.

1375
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 3: She kept repeating that it wasn't her fault. I was careless,

1376
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 3: and then she claimed I just don't like her kids,

1377
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,920
Speaker 3: that I never help out anyway. That is ridiculous. Well,

1378
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 3: I do not live very close to my sister in law.

1379
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 3: I help her when I'm in town. Every other month

1380
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 3: or so. I watch her five children several days a week,

1381
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 3: that includes her autistic son Andrew, who needs diapers change.

1382
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:29,959
Speaker 3: We'll scream for hours on end rewatches the same loud

1383
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 3: part of a movie over and over and over until

1384
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 3: he's distracted with something else and sometimes has to be

1385
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:37,919
Speaker 3: coerced under a therapy blanket and so on. I love him,

1386
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 3: and he clearly loves me. He has even developed a

1387
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,720
Speaker 3: home sign for me, and the other kids call me NONI.

1388
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 3: I'm not asking for a medal or martyrdom. I'm simply

1389
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 3: pointing out that I do try to help her with

1390
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 3: these kids, all very well. At that point, my husband

1391
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 3: was really frustrated and asked my sister in law what

1392
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 3: she thought was fair. Sister in law said, I should

1393
01:01:56,440 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 3: buy my own effing glasses for my stupid eyes her words,

1394
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 3: and just take them off when I'm around her kids.

1395
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 3: I had already told my husband that I was not

1396
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 3: okay with this option, because it hurts to try and

1397
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 3: function without my glasses, and because autistic children usually don't

1398
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 3: like change. And Andrew use my glasses as part of

1399
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 3: my face. He has never seen me without them, except

1400
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 3: for the time he broke them. He also told her

1401
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 3: the kids will no longer be allowed to sit in

1402
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 3: my lap. I will have them sit beside me instead

1403
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 3: when they want to be read to or want to

1404
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 3: share a plate of food. My husband repeated that she

1405
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 3: was responsible, then made her the offer that I suggested

1406
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 3: she could pay for half so one p fifty after

1407
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 3: the twenty five percent discount, and she could do it

1408
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 3: in installments if that was easier. He told her this

1409
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 3: was me being generous and that if it were him,

1410
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 3: he'd require the full amount. Sister in law said she

1411
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 3: had the money but didn't want to pay me because

1412
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 3: I'm a four eyed, lying witch who doesn't need my

1413
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 3: glasses as much as I say I do. I hate

1414
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 3: this woman. I hate this woman. I think she just

1415
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 3: hates people who wear glasses. At the end of the day,

1416
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 3: I think she just has like weird over your vendetta

1417
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 3: against people wear glasses.

1418
01:02:57,960 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1419
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 7: Also, I understand you hate people sometimes. The way that

1420
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 7: is making it so difficult for me is the mom

1421
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 7: being in the mom shoes. She has five kids, yeah,

1422
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 7: one of them autistic. Husband doesn't help out much. She's

1423
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 7: probably just trying to get by asking the sister for help.

1424
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,959
Speaker 7: I'm just trying to see where she's coming from. Oh,

1425
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 7: or she's like in such a disarray and trying to

1426
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 7: keep up with everything. I don't like her attitude towards this,

1427
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:23,920
Speaker 7: that's the thing. But is this a survival Is she

1428
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 7: coming out of a survival thing, like I can't help

1429
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 7: you pay for this because I need to pay and

1430
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 7: help out with my own kids.

1431
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 3: I'm sure she is, but there are so many better

1432
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 3: ways to say that, Like she could say I don't

1433
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 3: have the money. I'm so sorry. I will when I

1434
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 3: have that money, I will help you. Right now I can't. Yeah,

1435
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 3: if she had come from but yeah, it's this pride

1436
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 3: and anger and not willing to admit that she she

1437
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 3: just can't do it, so she's going to attack the

1438
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 3: person who's asking. My husband told her tough trap. And

1439
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:54,120
Speaker 3: now I'm sitting here with an envelope with three fifties

1440
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:57,920
Speaker 3: in it. By the way, you guys can also listen

1441
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 3: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

1442
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 3: to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app and

1443
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 3: search up Okay, story time And there is a little

1444
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:08,840
Speaker 3: bit more to this story. We're staying with my mother

1445
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 3: in law who came in an hour ago and mentioned

1446
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 3: that sister in law called her in a huff and

1447
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 3: insisted I'll never be allowed to watch her kids again.

1448
01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 3: Husband and I just looked at each other and knew

1449
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 3: that threat wasn't going to hold firm, And sure enough,

1450
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 3: husband just got a text asking if we can watch

1451
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:24,600
Speaker 3: the kids for a few hours on Monday. She's not

1452
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 3: talking to me and will probably be cold on Christmas,

1453
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 3: but I get the feelings she'll get over it. She better,

1454
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 3: oh absolutely, Or if she ever tries to talk to you,

1455
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 3: just take off your glasses. I don't want to look

1456
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:35,800
Speaker 3: at you. But that is the end of that story.