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Speaker 1: Did I ever tell you that one time that I

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Speaker 1: was an audition and I was like trying to be

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Speaker 1: friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: what are you singing? I've told you the story. She

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Speaker 1: was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed

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Speaker 1: her and she was like, oh that's brave. That was

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Speaker 1: like I think I went home something. I was like devastated.

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Speaker 1: That is not being a girl's girl.

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Speaker 2: Does not being a girl's girl?

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Speaker 3: More Better, More and more, A little bit more better.

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Speaker 4: More, Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop

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Speaker 4: pretending to have it all together.

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Speaker 1: And embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.

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Speaker 2: Day, or at least trying to. That's definitie the interest.

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Speaker 1: That's a little of a girl. Here we are in person.

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Speaker 1: If you are listening to this on iHeart or wherever

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Speaker 1: else you find your podcasts. You can also find us

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Speaker 1: on YouTube. We're here in person. You can check out

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Speaker 1: our outfits and what my hair might be doing well.

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Speaker 2: Today or not has doing today. It's mad that I

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Speaker 2: tried to straight. We're great, We're doing great. We're doing great.

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Speaker 1: We're doing great. What have you done lately? That's a

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Speaker 1: little more better. Deep in hell, Deep in hell.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I've said this so many times on

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Speaker 2: the pod.

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Speaker 4: I am back in the workout routine, back on the wagon.

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Speaker 2: Okay, as they say.

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Speaker 4: That mean for you, For me, that means like more

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Speaker 4: structured eating food choices, not just like all day every day,

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Speaker 4: just like this is, you know, a little bit of

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Speaker 4: meal planning, just intentional choices, and then working out while

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Speaker 4: taking advantage of the fact that I'm not on set

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Speaker 4: right now. And this is a very privileged thing to say,

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Speaker 4: but working out five days a week amazing.

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Speaker 2: Trying to maybe go for like three weeks of seven

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Speaker 2: days a week.

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Speaker 1: Girl, three weeks of seven days a week, that's not

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Speaker 1: good for your body.

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Speaker 4: But not like not les not like an hour long workout,

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Speaker 4: like a like like a recovery workout. Yeah, like a

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Speaker 4: recovery workout, or like one day is a yoga or

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Speaker 4: like a stretch or like just like a physical movement

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Speaker 4: for twenty thirty minutes. I fell off the consistency.

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Speaker 2: For a few weeks, and now I'm back.

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Speaker 1: The consistencies everything with workouts, it really is. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to be doing the same thing all

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Speaker 1: the time, but it really is.

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Speaker 4: But when you like don't move sometimes just for like

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Speaker 4: a week, and then you start again.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I mean it's like three days, Like if

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Speaker 1: I don't do something, I get. I mean it's also

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Speaker 1: because it releases endorphins and stuff. Yeah, like I get

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Speaker 1: Hella depressed, like Hella depressed. And then I'm like, why

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Speaker 1: do I want to just stay in my bed all

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Speaker 1: the time. Oh, it's because I haven't moved my body

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Speaker 1: in like three days. Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh well that's great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's wonderful. What about you? What have you done later?

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Speaker 2: It's better?

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Speaker 1: Let me see. I have since trying to spend some

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Speaker 1: you know, extended quality time with my child and not

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Speaker 1: judging myself about sometimes that's TV.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love watching stuff.

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Speaker 1: We watched Hercules, and then we watched the Lego Disney Princess.

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Speaker 1: Yes there's two of them now. I highly enjoyed all three.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I love Hercules. I think it's fantastic, bless Mass.

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Speaker 1: I love it, love it, love I love it. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've been spending time with her and not judging myself

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Speaker 1: for the like the way the way then spending time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, time is time, man.

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Speaker 1: It just be like that. It just be like that.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta just watch TV. My therapist gave me

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Speaker 1: the A okay on that one. Listen.

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Speaker 4: Some of the best conversations I've had with my kids

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Speaker 4: have been off of watching something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's real, you know it's.

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Speaker 4: Really It sparks a conversation, or it's like or it

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Speaker 4: gives you the opportunity to be like, wow, what did

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Speaker 4: you think when the character made that choice?

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Speaker 1: Or or what do you think is going to happen?

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Speaker 1: Thinking is the end of the story. The other day,

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Speaker 1: I was reading her Cinderella and After the Ball, like

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Speaker 1: she never she's not seen the movie or anything, And

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Speaker 1: I was reading her out of a book that we have,

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Speaker 1: and oh, is it one of those cute little books

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Speaker 1: with the little the Golden Book? No, okay, it was

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Speaker 1: a book that I stole from set sorry that was

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Speaker 1: like a vintage collection of Disney stories And I was like,

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Speaker 1: is this and they were like, I don't know. We

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Speaker 1: just bought it for a start dressing. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't you hear that. I actually never stolen from

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Speaker 1: stut before. But I was like, this book is from

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Speaker 1: like nineteen sixty, so I had to take it home.

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Speaker 1: I wish I had stolen so much more from the

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Speaker 1: Brooklyn nine nine set. I didn't take anything. People always

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Speaker 1: ask me like, what'd you steal, and I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't steal, so like, I didn't take anything.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't raised to be a thief, so I didn't

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Speaker 2: take anything.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, that this book that I stole, Yeah, But

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Speaker 1: I was reading it to her and we got to

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Speaker 1: the park where you know, Cinderella leaves the ball and

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Speaker 1: she has the one glass slipper and like the coach

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Speaker 1: turns back into pumpkin or whatever, and it was at

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Speaker 1: the end of a page and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: stopped reading. I was like, do you think that's the end?

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Speaker 1: And she was like no, like devastated that, like possibly

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Speaker 1: this would be the end. And I was like, sometimes

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Speaker 1: that is the end of the story, Like you get

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Speaker 1: that one night. It's very special.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, this is a lesson for later. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: You're like, we're right now, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: And keep it moving more better. So this week we're

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Speaker 1: talking about being it's controversial, it's a hot it's a

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Speaker 1: hot topic. Being a girl's girl, Being a girl's girl.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of stressed about this topic. Actually, I think

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Speaker 1: I am too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, when I first read the outline in our email

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Speaker 4: that our brilliant producer is just gives us that I'm

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Speaker 4: giving a side I do off camera, I read it

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Speaker 4: as for some reason like like being a girl, like

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Speaker 4: girly girl, being a girly girl, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: not being like.

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Speaker 5: And me being like, oh no, that's so funny. And

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Speaker 5: then I read the outline. I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: No no utter failure at this. It's gonna be fine.

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Speaker 2: But it is, it's it's it's uh, it's tricky.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read the definition of what we have down here. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: this is like a in flux right, actively supporting and

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Speaker 1: uplifting other women, rejecting negative societal stereotypes, the foster competition,

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Speaker 1: and fostering authentic female community rather than seeing other women

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Speaker 1: as threats. Now on the page, it sounds per utopian,

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Speaker 1: hundred percent fantastic. We all want to be that girl.

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Speaker 1: Sounds great. I'm that girl. Yes, I want other women

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Speaker 1: to do this all the time. Yes, what the reality

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Speaker 1: is that A this is very difficult to do at

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Speaker 1: all times. One hundred percent of the time. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: b not everybody has this active definition of it. It's

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Speaker 1: not like we all are carrying around this definition or memorized. Right. So,

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Speaker 1: like some people's idea of what it is to be

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Speaker 1: a girl's girl is different than others, and so we're

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Speaker 1: gonna kind of get into that too. This idea has

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Speaker 1: always been around. It's like the sort of like girl's

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Speaker 1: girl of it has been popularized through like TikTok and

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Speaker 1: Instagram and stuff. Yeah, it's having a moment, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it used to be called like girl code, yeah

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Speaker 1: or uh not rose before hose. But the other one

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Speaker 1: not that behave that. Actually I can't remember what the

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Speaker 1: female one is. It's like something kind of rude. It's

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Speaker 1: like bitches before not.

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Speaker 2: What is it?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I remember, I want to be like cunts before.

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Speaker 4: Like ovaries before ovaries before brovaries.

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Speaker 1: That is very gendered but hilarious. I mean on the surface, obviously,

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Speaker 1: this is a great idea, right, Like it would be

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Speaker 1: wonderful to walk down the street and have anyone that

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Speaker 1: is a woman like and like, let's be real, Like

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Speaker 1: this is gonna get tricky because we're going to get

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Speaker 1: into language that's like girls, women fems Like who is

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Speaker 1: who gets to say what? But like, for purposes of

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Speaker 1: this conversation, like let's just say like girls and fems, right,

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Speaker 1: people that are like I'm a girl, right, you're in

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Speaker 1: You're in this club, but some girls are whack as fuck.

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Speaker 1: Like the reality is that not all human beings are great.

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Speaker 4: Right that there's yes, like I yeah, like I know

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Speaker 4: I want to be that woman that supports and uplifts

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Speaker 4: and defends and.

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Speaker 1: Is like yeah, women power.

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Speaker 4: Then also you trash and I don't. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to have your back, like I definitely don't have mine, Like.

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Speaker 1: If you don't have mine, like or if you like

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Speaker 1: are So let's let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: Get into it.

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Speaker 1: Think of like what does a girl's girl mean to you?

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Speaker 1: Like what does that for you? To define that in

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Speaker 1: your brain? Like what is that for you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you're like Stephanie Bee literally like I do.

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Speaker 2: Like I think our dynamic is very that.

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Speaker 4: I think it's you know, like, yeah, I think we're

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Speaker 4: a good example of a girl's girl dynamic because we're

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Speaker 4: in the same industry, like we it doesn't happen that often,

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Speaker 4: but occasionally we're competing for the same roles like um,

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Speaker 4: because people are dumb dumb, yeah, so different, like if

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Speaker 4: you want both of us, like you're trying, you don't know, yeah, kind.

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Speaker 5: Of the broadest just like I don't know, like yeah,

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Speaker 5: the Walls.

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Speaker 4: Says, but we're we were like cheerleaders for each other.

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Speaker 4: I genuinely get psyched when you're doing something cool or

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Speaker 4: I see you doing something cool or and you know,

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Speaker 4: I I mean, god, that time we were in Disneyland

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Speaker 4: and your voice was ringing. I'm getting chills now, get

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Speaker 4: ringing out over the fireworks show, like and I fucking

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Speaker 4: cried like a baby, you know, because I'm so proud

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Speaker 4: of you, and I'm proud of everything you've done. And

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Speaker 4: I think when you when you love someone, but especially

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Speaker 4: when it's a woman, and you know that there's things

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Speaker 4: are just like a little harder and there's different obstacles,

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Speaker 4: and like maybe some of your male colleagues in the

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Speaker 4: same industry like it, just so the winds just feel bigger,

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Speaker 4: you know, and you want to celebrate them and just

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Speaker 4: and it's also to me, being a girl's girl is

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Speaker 4: very much that what's that saying, like like be the

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Speaker 4: kind of woman that fixes another woman's crown without it

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Speaker 4: without pointing it out, like it's that thing too, of

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Speaker 4: helping and supporting without it feeling like like virtue signaling

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Speaker 4: or performative or you know, to prove anything. It's like

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Speaker 4: genuinely be that person that's gonna like do it without

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Speaker 4: do it without making a big deal out of it.

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: That's what I I kind of try to strive for. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think I'm with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm with you in that, Like I want, you know,

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Speaker 1: in an ideal world, all of the interactions that I

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Speaker 1: would have with women would be friendly, kind, generous, graceful,

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Speaker 1: you know, like meaning like allowing grace for the other

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Speaker 1: person's like whatever's going on with them. Yeah, as opposed

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Speaker 1: to like full of judgment or something. Yeah, I I

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Speaker 1: really like what you said about like things are tougher. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for women, it'd be like that, just like that. But

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Speaker 1: we do live in a patriarchy.

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Speaker 4: Everything is just like a little Sometimes it's way harder,

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Speaker 4: and then sometimes it's just little ways.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thing little things or big things. But either way

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, who's going to have each other's backs then? Right,

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Speaker 1: And like so it's disappointing sometimes when it feels like

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Speaker 1: some women align themselves with like the strength that is

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Speaker 1: in power just to be safe, you know, it feels

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Speaker 1: like really like yeah, guys, like if we all banded together,

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Speaker 1: like if we were all on the same sort of side,

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Speaker 1: if we were all like helping each other, then it

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Speaker 1: would be like less like O don't no competitive sometimes

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Speaker 1: or and like the the competition thing is like it's

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Speaker 1: not just related to work, right, Like sometimes it's related

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Speaker 1: to love interests. Sometimes it's related to how we look,

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Speaker 1: how we function in society, our abilities as wives, mothers, friends,

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Speaker 1: working people, like our earning power, our it like it

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Speaker 1: sucks because we're in like this, we're in this like

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Speaker 1: ring where sometimes it feels like we're in a ring

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Speaker 1: where they've like thrown us all in there and are

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Speaker 1: like all right, climb out and you get a prize.

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Speaker 1: And like instead of us being like, oh shit, let's

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Speaker 1: do like a human chain kind of thing and like

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Speaker 1: pull each other up like as we go, it feels

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Speaker 1: very like, well, who can I fucking murder from it?

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Speaker 1: And then like I'll just pile up all the dead

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Speaker 1: bodies like this it feels good. I can't feel very

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Speaker 1: much like that, and so like it can be really

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Speaker 1: difficult because like I, of course want to be I

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Speaker 1: want to believe that every woman that I meet, every

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Speaker 1: friend that I meet, is a girl's girl. But the

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Speaker 1: reality that I've actually lived is that sometimes I get

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Speaker 1: fucked over because I'm like, I'm I give you the

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Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt all the time, and like you know,

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Speaker 1: my legs get chopped out from underneath me. So like

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Speaker 1: that is a tricky thing, Like it's not just about it.

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Speaker 1: I wish it was just about like I want to

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Speaker 1: support all other women, but like it can I think,

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Speaker 1: like the value system is like differs between people, and.

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Speaker 4: I think about this, Yes it does make sense, But

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Speaker 4: I think about this a lot about the origin of

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Speaker 4: that kind of because I feel like when we were teenagers,

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Speaker 4: or when I was a teenager, it was like do

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Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, Like it was the height

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Speaker 4: that like late nineties to early two thousands, even like twenties,

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Speaker 4: early twenty tens, that culture of like women pitted against women,

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Speaker 4: the you know, there were constantly, like you know, the

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Speaker 4: Paris Hilton days of like and who's beefing with who?

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Speaker 2: And who's in a.

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Speaker 4: Scandal, and and I feel like I grew up around

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Speaker 4: and I remember in high school being like.

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Speaker 1: Where are the feminists?

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Speaker 2: Like where where have they gone?

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Speaker 1: Where are they?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I don't see any anywhere. And I

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Speaker 2: feel like so much of that time period.

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Speaker 4: Because it felt like it was a whole decade of

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Speaker 4: it where it was permeated the pop culture so deeply

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Speaker 4: it like rewired some women, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: I think it rewired me for a moment, and I

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Speaker 4: had to like deprogram myself. But that competitiveness, that like

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Speaker 4: there's only room for a few of us, right, which

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Speaker 4: that's very real, Like we don't see ourselves with a

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Speaker 4: lot of seats at the table, we don't see ourselves

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Speaker 4: in a lot of positions of power. We don't see

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Speaker 4: a lot of us up at the top. And so

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Speaker 4: you I think digest that as like well, like every

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Speaker 4: every woman for herself, you know, and and so that

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Speaker 4: competitive thing and even just like oh my god, and

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Speaker 4: like parenting circles too, like who's momming the hardest stay

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Speaker 4: at home moms versus working moms, and like and I

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Speaker 4: just feel like we're we're put into categories, competitive categories

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Speaker 4: so much more than men, and and then that that

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Speaker 4: makes the being a girl's girl thing hard because sometimes

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Speaker 4: you meet another woman and you're like, what kind of.

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Speaker 1: What side of the root?

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Speaker 2: Which camp do you fall into?

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Speaker 1: Very like vulnerable to get you like go out on

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Speaker 1: a limb, because you run the risk of being like burned,

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Speaker 1: you know. But at the same time, how are you

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Speaker 1: gonna know if you don't run the risk, right, So,

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Speaker 1: like you do have to be vulnerable, and you do

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Speaker 1: have to try, and you do have to kind of

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Speaker 1: like go it's my not work, but I'm gonna give

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Speaker 1: it a shot.

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Speaker 3: More better, more better.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I I don't think that I would

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Speaker 1: say that I'm not a girl's girl, But I don't

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Speaker 1: know that that's how I would leadingly describe myself. I

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Speaker 1: think I would say like I'm a supporter of women

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Speaker 1: and like I love my female friends, and like I

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Speaker 1: like I want to be the kind of person that

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Speaker 1: other women can rely on. Yes, but I don't know

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Speaker 1: that I would be like I'm a girl's girl, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't know the same. Yeah, probably because it feels

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Speaker 1: like there's like a I don't know, like a like

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Speaker 1: a just or something of something on it that I'm

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Speaker 1: like it's.

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Speaker 4: Been yeah, it's yeah, yeah, it's been tainted well because

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Speaker 4: it's like so having a moment now and being talked

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Speaker 4: about and it's been in in the uh this geist

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Speaker 4: a lot, and so yeah, like anything trendy, you're just

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Speaker 4: like am I.

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Speaker 1: Am I lot? I will say like something that I

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Speaker 1: do that I and I don't care if people think

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Speaker 1: it's performing or not. There's a whole like discussion going

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Speaker 1: on right now about like whether something is performative, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, we are performing all the time. This

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Speaker 1: is all the life is like a bit of a

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Speaker 1: like you know, we're all feel strongly about what is

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Speaker 1: performance and when is it? Not like when are you so?

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Speaker 1: But when I see like whenever I'm out and I

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Speaker 1: see like a girl like with her camera set up

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Speaker 1: and she's like doing a fit check or like another

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Speaker 1: girl taking photos of somebody else or whatever, I always

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Speaker 1: am like you look great or like yeah, yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: I do that a lot because it's as someone who

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Speaker 1: like is totally embarrassed when I do stuff like that

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Speaker 1: in public, I always feel it kind of dumb, even

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Speaker 1: though everybody does it. Everybody does fitchags, everybody does like tiktoks.

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Speaker 1: Everybody does their little like set this up and like

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Speaker 1: take this moment of a photo, right, Like everybody does it.

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Speaker 1: And I've definitely been not maybe not everybody does it,

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Speaker 1: but I've definitely been outside somewhere and like Brad's taking

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Speaker 1: my picture or something and someone passes by and like

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Speaker 1: you can tell they're laughing at you, and it feels shitty.

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Speaker 1: It just feels shitty.

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Speaker 2: So like, yeah, there were like video of it. Was

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Speaker 2: like a few years ago.

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Speaker 4: There was a video of a girl who was like

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Speaker 4: doing I don't know, she was at an event, she

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Speaker 4: was at a game, she was somewhere, and she was

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Speaker 4: like doing videos, uh selfie videos of herself and she

353
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Speaker 4: saw in the background that there were two girls like

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Speaker 4: making fun of her and it was so mean girl,

355
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Speaker 4: and then she like feels like so conscious and like

356
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Speaker 4: I don't know, I think you feel like she posted

357
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Speaker 4: about it fucks and I was like that sucks, man,

358
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Speaker 4: Like is it bo Like is it affecting your life?

359
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 4: Like just whatever, mind your business, Like why do we

360
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Speaker 4: have to I just like.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because I got made in

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Speaker 1: front of or like left out a lot when I

363
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Speaker 1: was a kid, but like I have so many visceral

364
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Speaker 1: memories of being like little girl and feeling like I

365
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Speaker 1: wanted to be a part of the thing, and like

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Speaker 1: people were laughing at me for even wanting to be

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Speaker 1: a part of it, and it just like it's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't ever I'm gonna cry. I don't ever want

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Speaker 1: to like make somebody feel like that. So like, why

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Speaker 1: would you ever actively in a moment? And I've done

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Speaker 1: it once. I was like mean, like actively mean once

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Speaker 1: and it was a competition thing because it was the

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Speaker 1: organ chicks for festival and there was a new girl

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Speaker 1: that had come in and everyone was like, Oh, she's amazing,

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Speaker 1: She's amazing. It was like the beginning of the season.

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Speaker 1: And the guy that I was dating at the time

377
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Speaker 1: was like, oh, have you met her yet? I just

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Speaker 1: met her on the dance or she's like really great.

379
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Speaker 1: And I was like, like so mad that he had

380
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Speaker 1: met her on the dance word and who was this bitch?

381
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Speaker 1: So like when he introduced me, he turned his back

382
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 1: and I literally did the thing that I've seen in

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Speaker 1: every teen movie, which is like I looked up and

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Speaker 1: down and then I walked away. And afterwards and like

385
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: as I was walking away. I saw her face like crumble,

386
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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I never want

387
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Speaker 1: to do that again, and I never want to make

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Speaker 1: someone feel like that again, like unless I'm being paid

389
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Speaker 1: on camera. But I felt like really like I just

390
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: don't understand. I don't understand making somebody else I feel

391
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: like shit either just like walk away or uh, I

392
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Speaker 1: don't know. I just don't understand mining a business. I

393
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: just don't understand business. Yeah, mind your business.

394
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 2: I can understand mine in the business.

395
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 1: I can understand being like mad at somebody and like

396
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 1: being in an an altercation to somebody. Yeah, but I

397
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: can't understand like I don't know you and I'm gonna

398
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: make you feel stupid, Like I don't that I don't.

399
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what I don't. Yeah, I don't like.

400
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 4: There's also like the side of being a girl's girl.

401
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: Uh.

402
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: That is like a little bit like.

403
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,120
Speaker 4: Toxic positivity, where you know where it's like there could

404
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 4: be like a shitty mom at your kid's school that

405
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 4: you can't stand right, and then there could be sentiments

406
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 4: or views from other moms that you're being like anti

407
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 4: woman somehow, and it's like that person just sucks.

408
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: I just don't like her. I just like her, I

409
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 1: get along with her, and I don't like how she

410
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: I don't like.

411
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 4: The way she handles, like the way she talks to

412
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 4: me or whatever, like you know, and it's like that

413
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 4: person just sucks regard.

414
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: I don't have to whether she's male or female. Don't

415
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: have to like everybody, right, Like, you're never gonna actually

416
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: like everybody. But there's a difference between like I don't

417
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: like everybody, I have like a select group of friends,

418
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: and then like I actively being shitty to other women, Yes,

419
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: because you're threatened by them in some way, right.

420
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: Like women.

421
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 1: So I guess, like, yeah, what is like I'm trying

422
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 1: to is, how is it.

423
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 4: Being a girl's girl like different from just like being

424
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 4: a good friend. It's it's I think it's more in

425
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 4: like the treat strangers. It's part of its strangers, right, strangers?

426
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 4: Like yeah, like people, how you treat women you don't know?

427
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: You don't know? Yes, how do you treat women that

428
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 1: you don't know and that you haven't assigned a value to?

429
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: There's just another human being, right, They're just a human

430
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 1: being that you're coming across, right, Like that is a

431
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:37,119
Speaker 1: good question. I personally I like them. I think like,

432
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Speaker 1: if I don't know you and you're like doing something

433
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 1: out in the world, like I'm either gonna not bother

434
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 1: you or I'm gonna be cool to you, probably right,

435
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: like unless you're being shitty to me or like a

436
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 1: small animal.

437
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

438
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 4: And if like I'm at a party and let's say

439
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 4: it's like kind of dude heavy, I'm probably instinctually looking

440
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 4: for the women because I'd rather talk to them than

441
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 4: take my chance is with like a guy. You know,

442
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 4: depends on the guy though, But I'm scanning the room.

443
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,880
Speaker 4: And if I'm scanning the room, like yeah, I'm maybe

444
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 4: making preconceived you know, maybe the way she's dressed, or

445
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 4: like this girl looks cool, like, but I'm I am like.

446
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: More, here's okay.

447
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 4: You walk into a party, okay, and there's mostly women there.

448
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think you answered the question.

449
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm immediately I'm nervous. I'm immediately because if it's mostly

450
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: intimidated by large groups of women, I'm also like, oh no,

451
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: everyone's already friends and they and I don't know anyone

452
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 1: that's my That's where I immediately go, which I like

453
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: my childhood traumas like Oh, everyone's already friends and they

454
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: don't want anymore friends. Yeah.

455
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 4: I think my nervousness is like what is the majority

456
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 4: camp that most of these women fall into, Like we're

457
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 4: talking about like are they the competitive like gonna look

458
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 4: me up and down and you know, or are they

459
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 4: gonna be weird? Or is it gonna be like girls

460
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 4: girl vibes or also is it going to be like

461
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 4: two intense girls girl vibes?

462
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 2: Like we don't like that either. No, we don't need

463
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 2: to become best friends.

464
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 1: And what are you fighting? What are you?

465
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

466
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what do you want?

467
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 1: Like I'm always like, oh, give me your phone number,

468
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 1: and then I see people go like I did that

469
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: the other day to a woman I met on a

470
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: panel and I was like, Oh, you're so cool, you

471
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: live so close to me, give me your phone. Ever

472
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: put your phone up on my phone and she was like,

473
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: like I could see her wheels turning. I don't know

474
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: you don't have any friends.

475
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 2: I don't actually know you. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's

476
00:25:59,200 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 2: a bold move.

477
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make more friends, Wilsa. I don't have that.

478
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 2: I get friends.

479
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 4: I usually start with are you on social and then

480
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 4: I start like it, but I'm not.

481
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: On social social real Yeah, yeah, I get it.

482
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 2: You know what, kudos, it's very brave.

483
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: Did I ever tell you that one time that I

484
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 1: was an audition and I was like trying to be

485
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,

486
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: what are you singing? I've told you this story. She

487
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed her.

488
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: She was like, Oh that's brave. That was like I

489
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: think I went home. Oh, I was like devastated. That

490
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: is not being a girl's girl. Does not being a

491
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 1: girl's girl? Or like when you see someone's outfit and

492
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: you're like, that's a thing that like a woman would say.

493
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: Then here's the thing, Like have you ever had someone

494
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: say something about your outfit and be like, oh that's cute.

495
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 1: That's really I would never be able to pull that off,

496
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: but you're really doing it and I and like it's

497
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 1: kind of like we've talked about this before jellyfishing, Yeah,

498
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 1: just from Bridgie Diary, I think too, where it's like

499
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: the rude comment, it's already happened, and think it's just gone,

500
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: she's already gone on her way, and like you're like, ah,

501
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 1: it hurts so bad, and it's already done. It's already

502
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: already happened, just gone, it's gone. You don't have anything

503
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 1: with your day.

504
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: You didn't get to say a comeback.

505
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: You hate it so much?

506
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:25,959
Speaker 2: I hate it?

507
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know, man, Like I think, like

508
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: I want this to be a thing. Okay. The guilt

509
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 1: around not clicking with certain women.

510
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 4: Ooh yeah, I think I internalized that, like too much,

511
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 4: you know of just like you feel like a bad person,

512
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 4: you feel like a bad I feel like a bad person.

513
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 4: I feel like sometimes I do ask myself or judge myself.

514
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 4: I think and like, why don't I get along with

515
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 4: more different types of women? Like I feel like there's

516
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 4: just a few categories of women I click with, and

517
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 4: then I feel bad about that? Yeah, am I being judgie?

518
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 4: Like what is that about?

519
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: I do find it was harder before I had kids.

520
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 4: Weirdly, like, I think becoming a mom there's something that

521
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 4: I can always find something to talk to you or

522
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 4: connect with you with if you're also a mom, it

523
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 4: is a unifier for sure. As a unifier, I can

524
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: have nothing in common with you, but I can talk

525
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 4: for days about whatever you're struggling with your kid or

526
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 4: like what anything that has to do with motherhood. Yeah,

527
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 4: because it's such a universal, connective thing. It's connective experience.

528
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: I think like female friendships are very They can be

529
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: really intimate in a way that male friendships aren't always

530
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: necessarily allowed to be. Yeah, So like culturally and societally

531
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: across the board, I think like male friendships are they

532
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: are allowed in a certain way to be very surface.

533
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: Like Brad has this thing that he does every year

534
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: and he goes with his fantasy football team and he

535
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: like or fantasy football like league, and they go for

536
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: a couple of days and they have like a little

537
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: retreat and they like, you know, drink a bunch and

538
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: eat a bunch of food and do their fantasy football

539
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,239
Speaker 1: shit and like that. But I don't necessarily know that

540
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: anyone's having like deep conversations trying heart to heart, And

541
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: like That's what I value in my female friendships is

542
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: that like I can you know, burst into tears and

543
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: no one's gonna judge me, or like I can say

544
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: the things that I'm actually pretty afraid to say in

545
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 1: any other environments, you know, like my vulnerabilities, my weakness

546
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: is stuff that I'm scared of whatever, and like these

547
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: are the women that I can trust and they'll go

548
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 1: like yeah, they'll just sit there and like listen, they're

549
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,959
Speaker 1: not gonna like recoil and be like ill, right, right,

550
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: And so that closeness is it's not an automatic, it's

551
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: earned and like it has to be earned over time, yeah,

552
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 1: and it has to be earned over experiences and so like, yes,

553
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: on the surface, I can be friendly and kind to

554
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,239
Speaker 1: women and friends that I am around and with, but

555
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: that closeness is something that is that is a that's

556
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: like a seed growing and it just like doesn't happen

557
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: overnight now, it takes time, right, And like this brings

558
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: me to Love Island. What a segue, because you know

559
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 1: they're only there for however many days, like it's like

560
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: weeks at a time, right, And there they are. They

561
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 1: are shoved into these really weird situations where they're not

562
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: seeing anybody else else, they don't have any social there,

563
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: just with each other, right, and so they're bonding in

564
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: this very strange way. And also this last season of

565
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: Love Island, if you haven't watched it, please catch up.

566
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: It's on Peacock. They're bonding in this way. That's like

567
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: they know when they get out, they're going to be

568
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: like super famous, right, Like they know everyone's going to

569
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: be like looking at them because the last goal.

570
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 2: Right, right, and they get their little league part of

571
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: why they're there.

572
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, like and no, you know, like get your bag, Henny,

573
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: like get your little like you get all their things

574
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: like listen me too, you know. Like, but like what

575
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: I thought was interesting, and I think it's like linked here.

576
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 1: It's like is she a girl's girl or just playing one?

577
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: On TV? The Great Love Island debate and now this

578
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: isn't this isn't time. This is an article, but like

579
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: I did read I think it was in People, and

580
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: it was like discussing some of the ways that the

581
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: women on Love Island behave. And again we're coming back

582
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: to this like performative idea, right, So there were multiple

583
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 1: friendships on Love Island that looked really good for the cameras.

584
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: And these are people that they're in their twenties, so

585
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: they've grown up with social media, they've grown up with

586
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: understanding like what reality TV is, they understand how they

587
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 1: look from the outside, right, And so some of their

588
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:27,479
Speaker 1: behavior while projecting girls girl miss friendships that are super

589
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: close support at every level all the time. Sometimes it's

590
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: like to be a real girls girl, you gotta be like, bro, no,

591
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: you can't, you can't act like that, you can't do that,

592
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that, that's fucked up what you're doing,

593
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: or like or saying like, you know, there was that moment.

594
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: Did you watch it? You know the answer? Okay, So Shelley,

595
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: she was like kind of she was kind of trying

596
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: to decide between these two guys, Chris and Ace. Okay,

597
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: she ended up with Ace, right, Both of them are

598
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: very had some very different types. But she was kind

599
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 1: of like like kind of in the mix with both

600
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: of them and hadn't really made a choice, right, and

601
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: so then she kind of did choose. She was kind

602
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: of kind of leaning more toward Ace and Chris, who

603
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: was kind of up for grabs now and like didn't

604
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 1: have a partner. One of Shelley's friends, Hudda, who's very controversial.

605
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: Huda was like, well, I'm going to go after Ace, right,

606
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 1: But I guess she didn't. I don't remember exactly, but

607
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: I don't think she checked with Shelley first. I don't

608
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: think she was like, hey, I'm gonna do this now, right.

609
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: I think she just kind of like I think it

610
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 1: kind of organically happened. Okay, that's up for debate, Okay.

611
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: But Shelley, even after she had been partnered up with Ace,

612
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: was like pissed off at Hoodah because she was like,

613
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: this isn't girl's girl behavior. Like and I for me

614
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 1: as a viewer, I was like, what part of it

615
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: is in girl's girl behavior? Because this is Love Island.

616
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: It's not for an island. Oh yeah right, like you

617
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: are from here to like make a man? Yeah, So

618
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: what part was it that she didn't check with you first?

619
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: Was it that she didn't do it the way you

620
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: wanted her.

621
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 2: To do it?

622
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: And then Huda even apologize afterwards. She was like, I'm sorry.

623
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: I think she didn't check with her. She was like,

624
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friends. She

625
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: was like crying. Whether or not it was real or not,

626
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: she was she was crying, okay, and she was like,

627
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friendship. I

628
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: don't know what I did wrong. I like I messed up.

629
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: I fucked up. And Shelley was like not having it. Oh,

630
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: and it very much felt like so what are you

631
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: mad about?

632
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: What are you mad about?

633
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: Like? What do you want her to do? What do

634
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: you want her to do?

635
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 2: You want her to do that she didn't?

636
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 1: And also like are you mad because like that guy

637
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: isn't pining over you even though you moved on with

638
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: somebody else, right, I don't know the answer, Like, I

639
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: don't know the answer.

640
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: Just get DIBs on whoever you're like almost with.

641
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: Is that that is that brings you back to like

642
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: the nineties, two thousands, things of like where the movies were,

643
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: Like girl code is like you never date somebody's ex boyfriend.

644
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: It's like, well, what if you fall in love with

645
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 1: their ex boyfriend? Like wait you do? Then?

646
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 3: Yea?

647
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 1: What if a lot of time has passed? What? What?

648
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: What is the girl code? I don't know what the

649
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: girl code is. I'm pretty sure the girl code.

650
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 4: Is is not going back, not doing it without, don't

651
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 4: go behind people's backs, don't go behind people's backs. Like yeah,

652
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 4: if you truly value the friendship over the guy, you're

653
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 4: like running it by the friend. Yeah, I mean I

654
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 4: would if I was trying to get with some of

655
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 4: my friend's ex.

656
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: I don't know.

657
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: I probably it's you know, very.

658
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,399
Speaker 1: Like is that it, I mean. And then the other

659
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: other part of that is like, you know, no one

660
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: is perfect. Because when a Hooda was dating this other guy, Jeremiah,

661
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: they were dating, they were like a couple together, and

662
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 1: they had this very not appropriate for television, Okay, they

663
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: had this very sexy thing like where they all like

664
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: got it was very snm and everybody like it's too

665
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,280
Speaker 1: long to explain, Melissa, But there was bombshells that came in. Oh,

666
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 1: and one of the bombshells was like, all about this

667
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: Jeremiah guy that Huda was dating. And Huda was so

668
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: hateful to this girl, like from the get just like

669
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: hateful to her, Like she was like, I don't like

670
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: her vibe, I don't like how she's playing this. I

671
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her.

672
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, you don't like that she is

673
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: beautiful and that she might be someone that your guy

674
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: is interested in, and like, I understand that feeling, but

675
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: I also like, you can't act a fool, right, right,

676
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: But then again, these girls were like twenty, so yeah, a.

677
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 4: Lot of it is like age guess and check definitely

678
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 4: the worst experience.

679
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and how you be. I mean, I acted a

680
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: dumb ass fool that day at that party when I

681
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: was mean to that woman. You know, like that's not

682
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: something I would ever do again, but my experience, I

683
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: kind of had to do it once.

684
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

685
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely was an asshole to other women in

686
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 2: like college and early twenties and yeah, but yeah, you

687
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 2: have to, unfortunately have those moments sometimes be like, oh

688
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 2: that doesn't feel I.

689
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: Don't I don't want to be that. I don't like myself.

690
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 1: I don't like that. I don't like that I tried

691
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: that on and I don't like it.

692
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 2: I don't like that persona. I don't think that's me.

693
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, more better, more better, I think.

694
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 4: You know, it's how do we be uh, how do

695
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 4: we be more better at being a girl's girl?

696
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: Like in general, like out in the world, Like is it?

697
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 1: I mean I would say like lead with kindness. Yeah,

698
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: like that's so cliche, but it really is like lead

699
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: with kindness, you know, like when you experience someone like,

700
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: to me, this is being girls girls. The The other

701
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 1: day at the airport, I saw this young mom. She

702
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: was young, like real cute, her little baby was super cute,

703
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: and her stroller were but her baby was flipping out,

704
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 1: like flipping out. The little girl was like screaming at

705
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: the top of the homs, right, And so the mom

706
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 1: stops to do something. She's like kind of struggling with

707
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: all the bags and stuff, and I like walk over

708
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like hi to the baby, you know, like

709
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: playing with the baby a little bit, not getting too close,

710
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: just a little distraction, you know, so the mom can

711
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: kind of like do what she needs to do. And

712
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know what the story is. I

713
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: don't know who you are. I don't know your politics,

714
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 1: I don't know any of that. What I see is

715
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: a woman who needs a little bit of help and

716
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you, yeah, you know.

717
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: Yeah.

718
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: Or like if I see two girls outside of a

719
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: happened in New York. These two girls were outside of

720
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 1: a coffee shop taking a ton of pictures, like taking

721
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: up the whole sidewalk. Am I gonna be like eugh no, yeah,

722
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: because like do do you babe? Like I can walk

723
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: in the street for a second. It's not gonna hurt me.

724
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: Like I'm fine, Like get your pictures, get your you know,

725
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: get your little moment like that. I think leading with

726
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: Kindness in general as a human being is good, but

727
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 1: like particularly toward women who are, like, as you said,

728
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 1: facing a wall of bullshit at any given moment.

729
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like having a little extra empathy, a little

730
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 4: extra kindness, a little extra whatever that you can give

731
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 4: that day. It's it's a woman because when.

732
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: People are shit, yeah, because like we get it the worst,

733
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: you know, So like even when people are kind of shitty,

734
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, okay, she's having a bad day. I

735
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: need to get an argument with you unless you gonna

736
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 1: pick a fight with me, and then yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

737
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: that's kind of it. Right. Like also that thing that

738
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: therapists say all the time, which is like, hurt people,

739
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: hurt people. But it's like, if you're being shit to

740
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: me in public and I don't know you, that's got

741
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:46,959
Speaker 1: everything to do with you.

742
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: And nothing nothing to do with me. Yeah that's the thing.

743
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 2: Oh wait I wanted to do. Oh yes.

744
00:39:55,719 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 4: In the nerd time, there was the four zodiacs that

745
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 4: are the biggest girls.

746
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: Girl are you ready?

747
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm ready? It is Aries. I'm an Aries rising are you?

748
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 4: Aries are incredibly loyal when it comes to their friendships,

749
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 4: but they don't like to sugarcoat or play games either.

750
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 4: That that's what makes aries a perfect girl's girl. They

751
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 4: aren't afraid to share the hard truths. When they tell

752
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 4: you something you might not want to hear, they can

753
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 4: still do it in a loving way.

754
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: I hope, I think so.

755
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 2: Trying to think of you ever told me something I

756
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 2: didn't want to hear? Gemini?

757
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 4: I do not agree with that. Isn't Gemini that the

758
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 4: twins one?

759
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 1: Yeah?

760
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I don't know.

761
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: I feel like I've known a Commni gets a bad

762
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: rap for being two faced, and I don't think that's

763
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: what it is. I think Gemini is of two minds,

764
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 1: like they can see both sides of things, you know,

765
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've known some bad Geminis.

766
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 2: I've been friends with some Geminis that h did feel

767
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 2: two face?

768
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: Oh that's brutal.

769
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 2: It's easy to get along with a Gemini because they

770
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: make friends everywhere they go. They enjoy, okay, they enjoy

771
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 2: being around other people, and they celebrate and support all

772
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 2: their close friends, do they.

773
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 4: But especially the women in their lives. Plus, Gemini's curiosity

774
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: means they'll be your biggest cheerleader.

775
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: Geminis, why don't you write in specifically to Melissa and

776
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: tell her about how you're a good friend.

777
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, great, I will. I can't wait to hear it. Okay,

778
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 4: virgo virgo.

779
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 2: My mom's a virgo?

780
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 1: Oh really? Because my mom a girl and my mom

781
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,760
Speaker 1: is kind of a girl's girl. My mom's a girl's

782
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 1: girl about it.

783
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: But I feel like virgos are also.

784
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: That's just your mom, I mean, like that's your relationship

785
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: with your mom coming out.

786
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 4: Virgos are sure to be a great resource when you're

787
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 4: having a hard time. Problem solving makes virgos feel more productive.

788
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 2: You know what, I think my rising or my moon,

789
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 2: my moon is in virgo.

790
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: Okay. Virgos are also really interested in self growth. Oh

791
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: are they?

792
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 3: I feel like.

793
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 1: Virgos are stubble. We'll say you're not having a girl's

794
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: girl about this girl. Virgos, I know are very stubborn.

795
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,439
Speaker 1: So helping you helps them learn more about themselves. In turn,

796
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: girls girls have a deep appreciation for their relationships with

797
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 1: other women because there's so much you can learn from

798
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: being around them. Hmm. Okay.

799
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 2: The last one is Capricorn.

800
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 1: What is Capricorn? Capricorn is like end of December beginning.

801
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: Let's see what they can say. Let's fucking see what

802
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: they fucking say.

803
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 2: Ready.

804
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 4: Capricorns are known for their strong work ethic, Yes, but

805
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 4: they're also extremely intentional with their friendships. Yeah, she is

806
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 4: this Earth's sign. Is emotionally dependable and oh no, not

807
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 4: the big laugh, not the big laugh. Emotionally dependable and

808
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 4: very loyal.

809
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 2: But they still expect you to value their friendship as

810
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 2: much as they do.

811
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: Interesting. That feels a little tip for Tepe.

812
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 4: Capricorns will do anything they can to help their friends succeed,

813
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 4: and they won't let jealousy get in the way of

814
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 4: celebrating women's wins.

815
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's pretty true about my mom, because.

816
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 2: They don't really care about being the center of attention.

817
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 1: That's not true, that's not true at all. But she

818
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 1: does celebrate other people's wins. She's always really excited.

819
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, she I feel that was energy Like the first

820
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 4: few times I met her, Like she was just like,

821
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 4: she's always so excited.

822
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 2: There was another life on the show and like, yeah, yeah,

823
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: very proud. A Capricorn friend will help you achieve your goals,

824
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 2: ensure you on while you do it. That's the definition

825
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 2: of a girl's girl.

826
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: More better that is I like that as a place

827
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,800
Speaker 1: to sort of wrap up, And that is my takeaway,

828
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 1: is that I want to be a girls girl in

829
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: as much as that, like, I want to support and

830
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: help other people women feel good in the world. Yeah, right,

831
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 1: like in general, Like and we're talking about like general

832
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: girls girl right, Like if that's how we describe ourselves, right, Like,

833
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: if I'm in a bathroom and I think you're off,

834
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: it's cute. I'm gonna tell you if you need help

835
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 1: with like something, I'm going to try to help you.

836
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 1: If you are like just out in the world living

837
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: your life, I'm not gonna shot on you. You know,

838
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: there's no reason to.

839
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that might take away just like being a

840
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 4: general cheerleader for women. Yeah, and like I said before,

841
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 4: I think holding a little more empathy, a little bit

842
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 4: more grace, a little bit more kindness.

843
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like holding yourself also accountable when you feel

844
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: yourself like like that. It's like, where is that base?

845
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: Is that based in my mm hmm competitiveness? Is that

846
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: based in the Yes? Those are good questions.

847
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,839
Speaker 4: Do I not like this woman because of the things

848
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 4: I've been programmed to kind of not like about women?

849
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: Or is this like genuinely just like a shitty person.

850
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, like asking yourself that question as opposed to just

851
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 1: doing the default.

852
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 2: Of like, oh you know, like I like that. Yeah,

853
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: those good.

854
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: Do you feel more better?

855
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: I do feel more better better.

856
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

857
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not as like averse to the phrase.

858
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: I think I was a little like I was like

859
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: scared to take on this. I do want to do gurly.

860
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:51,479
Speaker 1: Let's do gurly. Oh my god. Oh okay, we'll see

861
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: you next time, see you next week. Bye.

862
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 3: More.

863
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,319
Speaker 1: You have something you'd like to be more better at

864
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: that you want us to talk about in a future episode.

865
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 2: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

866
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 2: one of our tips and tricks?

867
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Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

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Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

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Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

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Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's

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Speaker 1: my Kunpua podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Beatriz, and

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Speaker 1: Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and

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Speaker 1: Sophie Spencer Zebos.

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Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself Melissa Fumero, along

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Speaker 2: with Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and

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Speaker 2: ISIS Madrid.

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Speaker 1: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by

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Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and

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Speaker 1: Hello Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and

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Speaker 1: photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows. See you next week, Suckers, Bye Hoo,

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Speaker 1: Pokitomas mahor