WEBVTT - Bad Mormon with Heather Gay 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:04.880 Hi, Hi everybody. Hi Catherine, Oh, hi Chelsea. Hi. What's 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:07.760 going on? It's May. We're deep into throws of bank. 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:10.760 This year is going by very quickly, so fast, it's 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:12.399 what's happening. I don't like it. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:14.880 It just like rained for several months and then all 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:15.840 of a sudden, a summer. 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:19.200 Yes, yes, since summertime is coming, and that means my 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:23.680 family is coming. Ooh, who's visiting? Everybody's visiting? No, no, no, no, no, 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:26.400 no one's visiting. I actually am homeless. In June, I 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:28.680 become homeless. Oh no, July and August. 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:30.560 Yes, my house is not ready until August. 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.720 And I decided to give up my rental because it 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:34.519 just makes no sense that I've been in this rental 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:35.400 and I'm home. 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:36.479 Twice a week. Yeah. 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:38.520 So I take a couple of months off of touring 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:40.479 and I'm just going to bounce around Europe and Africa. 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.720 Oh fantastic, that's a great place. 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.479 Those we came home, all. 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.040 My nieces to Africa waiting have they been before? 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:50.239 No, none of them have been. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:51.960 Only my sissy and I have been to Africa, and 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:55.320 we're going back together and we have that She's like, 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.920 you're going to be really sick of me, or which 0:00:57.960 --> 0:00:59.520 is coach for she's going to be sick of me 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.200 and my fucking mood swings. But where we have two 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.440 weeks together and then we have one week of just 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:05.720 a romantic couple. 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:09.720 In the villa, right, and then I have three weddings. 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.959 I have Ben Bruno's wedding, I have my cousin Ted 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.720 his wedding, and then I have someone else's wedding. 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:18.320 I'm a groomsman and Ben Bruno's wedding, so that's a 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.720 lot of responsibility. But that's the only thing I'm flying 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:22.080 back for. 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.000 So I'll be in the stage for a weekend for 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:25.320 Ben Bruno's wedding. 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.000 Just like jet lagged af and then no, I. 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.399 Think we can fuck around that quickly, like it doesn't 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:32.200 have time to catch up, you know what I mean. 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.440 If I go in and out real quick of time zones, 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:35.479 then it doesn't matter. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.679 Then it's like fine, I know, well, I am abandoning 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.080 my husband to go to Mexico for a week with 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:42.839 a couple of my girlfriends. 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:45.520 Nice, I know, I'm very week. 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:49.840 For about like five days, four nice five days. We've 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:51.400 got like a little spot that we love to go 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.360 and me and the same two girlfriends have gone. 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:54.560 Like the last few years. Nice. 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:57.800 That's awesome, nice, very nice. So he has three pugs 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.000 to take care of all by himself, love you. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:03.040 Mmmm well, they'll probably be perfectly trained by the time 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:03.480 you get. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.040 Of course they will. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:07.720 They'll be seven whole months old. 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.200 Well, hey, Chelsea, just like you and your sister, she's 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:12.520 looking to become a midlife lesbian. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:14.560 Oh is she? Oh? Wow? 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.000 Well that must be a reflection of your performance, Bratt. 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:21.400 I do try well, not hard enough, I guess. 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.000 Well, whoopsie do at all? Well? 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.880 On that note, should we intro our guest for today? 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.440 I am so excited? Oh yes, we haven't. 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:34.280 Reformed Mormon on my favorite topic of conversation, Mormonism. 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.440 Yes, And you know what, I'm not a big Housewives fan, 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.720 but The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:43.560 only one that I actually watch, and Heather is my favorite. 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:44.520 I think she's great. 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:48.000 But I'm just gonna say for the record, I don't 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.799 watch the Housewives. I've never seen The Housewives. I saw 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.760 what episode once as a favorite of my assistant to 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:56.560 try and figure out what she's interested in, and I 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:59.639 decided I'm not interested anyway. So I just want to 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.760 make that claimer because I don't want to pretend that 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.000 I've seen a show that I haven't seen, even though 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.000 that's probably polite for the guest. Our guest is a 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:10.080 housewife and she's currently starring in The Real Housewives Ultimate 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:15.480 Girls Trip Thailand. And she recently opened the second location 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.560 of Beauty Lab and Laser in Utah. And she is 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.000 a New York Times bestselling author of Bad Mormon, owner 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:25.080 of Beauty Lab and Laser, and star of Bravos Real 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:26.400 Housewives of Salt Lake City. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.760 Heather Gay Hi, Heather, Hi. 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:31.240 I'm so nervous. 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:35.040 Oh, don't be, don't be. We're gonna have to just Oh, 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:36.680 I need a hit of it Inhaler, Do you have 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.760 another one? Fuck? I should have brought my. 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.800 Chelsea's and Haler's have a little more tea in them. 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:43.440 I just yeah, exactly. 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:45.320 I just was pulling out the things that are in 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.520 my purse that my house keeper packs me up with 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.440 every day because I'm like a little baby that going 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:50.080 off to school. 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:52.320 Every time I leave the house, and she has. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:56.520 Like little stones, crystals, gummies with THHD and then a 0:03:56.520 --> 0:04:00.119 little heart, a little heartstone that says strength, and she's like, 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:01.000 this is so funny. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.400 I go, I know, but what I'm missing is a 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:04.000 fucking in. 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:08.640 Hale or it's like a diaper bag exactly. You need 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:11.200 halar and then like a quiet book and some cheerios. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:15.160 And that's like, yeah, exactly, all right, Heather, there's no 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:16.200 reason to be nervous. 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:17.240 What are you nervous about? 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.320 Are you nervous about talking or are you nervous about 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:20.280 the questions I'm gonna ask. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.159 I'm just nervous because I'm excited, you know. I'm like, 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.480 this is a big, big moment for me, Chelsea handler. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.400 You know, I'm trying to like not be too effusive 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:30.320 and just be cool. Just be cool. 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:34.600 That's my mantrage Yeah cool, cool cool. Yeah great, that's 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.320 a great start for all sad. 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:36.760 Yeah. 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.120 So, Heather, we I read your book. We both read 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:43.760 your book about leaving Mormonism. And I speak for both 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:47.680 Catherine and myself when I say we are fascinated by Mormons. 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.160 Yes, And Chelsea has a family connection. 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.640 I do have a family connection because my sister was 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:54.760 a Mormon for a while and then I think she 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:57.400 slowly stepped out of it. She hasn't brought it up 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:59.479 in years, so we just pretend that it's over. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:00.880 And mention it. 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.080 But my mom was Mormon, and she was from Germany actually, 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:07.520 and she grew up Mormon, which is interesting, and then 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:08.840 they came over to the United States. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:11.800 So I know a little bit about Mormonism. 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:13.520 Well, I guess I probably know more than the average 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:15.680 person because I lived with and we had, you know, 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:18.640 the church at our house all the time. And what 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:22.360 I do find very amusing though in modern times, in 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:26.920 today's times, is that what Mormon people do to avoid 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:30.799 having sex that actually is sex, Like what is it called. 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:32.239 I've done these things. 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:37.040 On dogging, arm pittying, all the things. 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:40.159 And it's like, hey, guys, that's fucking just so you know, 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:42.039 you're still having sex. 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.440 Any hole, but the holy hole. That's the mantra. 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:46.120 Yeah. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.000 Yeah, I hate when religion tells you not to have sex. 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.279 Religion is the root of all evil as well. Okay, 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.560 so tell us about your departure, because it happened probably 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:57.560 as a result of you being on the Housewives Right 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:58.159 of Salt Lake. 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:00.839 Yeah, I mean going on house was for sure like 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:02.520 rip the band aid off. It'd been kind of a 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:06.240 slow bleed, but with like the church. You just don't 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.640 leave when you're surrounded by it and it's your family 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.440 and it's everybody, you just don't talk about it. If 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:12.719 you're not living it. You do it quietly and silently, 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.800 you know, behind the closed doors. But you tow the 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:17.840 line and you play the game. And I had been 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:19.680 doing that for years and then, but I knew that 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.840 if I went on reality television, I had to own 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:23.200 it one way or the other. Either had to become 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.400 a devout Mormon again, which was out of the cards 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:29.000 and probably would take like a huge disciplinary process through 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.080 the church for that to happen, or I had to. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.799 Just stop right there. What kind of disciplinary processes are there? 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:38.920 Okay, Well, every you meet with your local leaders regularly, 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:41.279 so like you meet with them quarterly or anytime that 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.480 you get a new assignment or anytime there's a shake up, 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:47.120 like with leadership. And they are men in your neighborhood 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:48.800 that you go to church with weekly, So they're not 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:50.440 kind of They're not like guys you can pull the 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.560 wool over their eyes. It's men that like know if 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:54.720 you're showing up to church, they know you in the community. 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.240 They know if you're wearing a modest clothing. They know 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.839 if you're messing around, they know you. You know, they're 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:01.920 your neighbors and your friends, and they are also your 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.120 leaders and they're in charge of you. So you have 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:08.000 to answer very specific a list of questions every time 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.360 you meet with them in order to like get a calling, 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:13.440 or go to the temple and have your temple license, 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:15.960 which we call a temple recommend renewed, and it's a 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:19.160 digitized just like a driver's license. You go to the temple, 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.600 they scan it. If it beeps, you get to go in. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.239 If it doesn't, you are on. 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:26.000 You're out on the street. 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:26.440 So if you. 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:29.720 Answer those questions wrong, then there's a disciplinary process and 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.560 they decide how bad it was. If you messed up, 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.080 like if you said I drank a beer, you could 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.320 probably just handle it with your bishop locally right there. 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.520 But if you had an affair, if you had sex, 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:43.000 if you associated with any anti Mormon group, if you 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.400 weren't wearing your garments day and night, then they would 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:49.640 kick it up to a regional leader, and that regional 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.920 leader would determine if the sins were merited. A disciplinary council, 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:57.360 which is a group of twelve men from the surrounding 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:01.440 area called area authorities, and they're your friend's husbands. Like 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.240 it's not just it's not just a panel. It's like 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.160 the people that you go to church with that you see. 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:10.440 It's the principle. It's like the entire community, like the doctor, 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:13.240 the baker, the candlestick maker, and they're all just kind 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:16.160 of like Handmaid's Tale. They're all sitting at a around 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.760 a table in white shirts, ties and suits, and you 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.280 sit there and you tell them all of your sins. 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.360 You tell them how many times you've had sex with 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:28.480 the person, or drank or you know, stepped out, anytime 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.560 you've broken the rules. They make you detail. It's kind 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:33.680 of like a venting of an airing of sins. 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.199 It's kind of like scientology. 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.160 Yeah, like an audit. I guess it would be similar 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:42.480 to like an audit. And then they determine, they meet, 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.880 they'd send you out, and then they determine your punishment. 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.240 And it can be excommunication, it can be probation. It 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.840 can be called disfellowship. And disfellowship means you can't take 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:55.680 the sacrament, you can't say public prayers, you can't teach lessons, 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:59.000 but you still have not lost your baptismal covenants. If 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.480 you're excommunicating, you have to get rebaptized, you have to 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.480 go through the missionary discussions, you have to pretend like 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.600 you're a virgin in the Mormon Church. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:06.240 Wow. 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.600 And I think it's so interesting too that you say 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.000 like a panel of men, because it is men. It's 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:13.520 not a jury of your peers, including women and other people. 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.640 It is just men who are the leaders of the 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:16.439 Mormon churches. 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:16.760 Men. 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.320 I mean, really, religion is the beginning of patriarchy. Yeah, absolutely, 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:23.520 really was, because before that we were a patriarchal society 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:27.880 and it became patriarchal because of religion. So when you left, 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:30.800 your mother's still part of the church, right, Yeah. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.720 My whole family, except for two siblings, are all active 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:37.280 devout members that have never acknowledged the book, have not 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:40.560 sent a text, not sent a note, not mentioned it 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:44.600 at Christmas dinner. Nothing, It's like it doesn't exist. The 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:47.160 show existed for the first few months, like they would 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:48.800 talk about it because it was kind of tittillating and 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.559 fun and might be innocuous. But then once I wasn't 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.079 speaking well of the church, once I was drinking on camera, 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:58.079 you know, swearing doing all the things. Then they acted 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:00.000 like they just turned the television off and it does 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:00.880 doesn't exist either. 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.439 Denial is also part of religion. 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:07.240 It's completely denial of reality or things that don't you know, 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.160 vibe with what you're putting out there totally. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.199 We were just talking about this, like how you're going 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.760 on a Real Housewives sort of was at the same 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.600 time as you were starting to leave the church or 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:20.680 have these sort of epiphanies of like maybe this isn't 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.800 for me, and that your bishop when you asked him 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.199 if you should go on the show, actually said like yes, 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.080 but take a glass of milk anytime you're at a 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:32.680 party with alcohol, so you're presenting the appearance of not drinking. 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:34.800 Like, yeah, the facade. 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.640 Is something that I find so interesting in what you 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:37.520 talk about. 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.240 Well, we believe it's like a codependence, like we have 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:43.480 a responsibility to not only share the gospel and convert 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.160 everyone in our circle, but to represent for like anyone 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:49.680 in around us. We don't speak or dwell on sin. 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.280 We don't talk about it, Like when I got my 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.439 reckless drive and he's like, don't speak of it. This 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:56.439 is not part you know, just stamp it out forget 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.360 it ever happened. And you think that that would be 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.480 like that would cultivate a culture of positivity, but it's 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.040 really just a culture of shame and secrecy. Also, we're 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:07.959 supposed to be the happiest people on earth, so it's 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:11.320 a big you know, there's a conflict there, there's an edge. 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.640 Is that what Mormons think they are the happiest people 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:14.480 on earth? 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.240 Well, we believe that the plan, the Mormon Plan, is 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:19.720 the plan of happiness and that men are that they 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.800 might have joy, you know that is and your righteousness 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.960 is absolutely you know how Jewish people can be like 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:28.280 upset and Jewish and it's like they can still be 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.800 devout Jews Mormons. If you don't have a smell on 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.680 your face, you must not be righteous, you must not 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:34.800 be blessed, you must not love the Lord because we 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:39.080 believe that like our choices dictate our blessings, and happy 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:42.000 people are blessed. You know, that's a sign of how 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:44.400 blessed you are, is how happy you are. So we're 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.480 fronting not only just to ourselves but to our community 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.439 because it's status. The happier you are, the higher your status. 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.199 And do they care about money and wealth? And all 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:54.280 of that individually. 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.199 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean we're we're I think we're tempered, 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.520 well meaning, like frugal people, like we're with so full 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.600 and I don't think like I'm a spend thrift, but 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:05.719 like we believe, like the only people that get the 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.520 high leadership lines are the extremely wealthy in the church 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.720 because they have to have discretionary and time and income 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.360 because they devote, you know, thirty hours a week to 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.360 shepherding the community as you know, lay leaders in the church. 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.800 So you can't you can't have a fifty hour a 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.000 week job and also be a bishop, you know. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:25.280 And you're also the only religion, well maybe not the 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.599 only religion. I think there's some Middle Eastern religions that 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:29.839 also adhere to this. But then you have living prophets, 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.400 like men are just named to be or deemed a 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:36.240 prophet while they're alive, which is such a crock of shit. 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.280 I mean, it's a if you want me to believe 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:41.400 in profits, then they at least have to be dead. 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:43.800 It's true. 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.840 It's the true and living prophet. We believe he's the 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.120 voice of God on the earth, and he has twelve 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:51.240 apostles that meet with him. And they do a conference 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:54.760 semi annually and we all listen to it. It's hours long. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:59.640 And at the last conference, they denounced transgender, they denounced 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.680 diverse city, they denounced same sex marriage, they denounced everything. 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.680 But at the same time, I thought the Church of 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.319 Latter day Saints had put out a statement saying they 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:12.199 accepted gay people into the church. They don't condone it, 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:13.320 but they accept them. 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:15.800 No, you as long as you don't act on it. 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:19.240 You can can't law of chastity, you cannot be gay, 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:24.240 you can't can't or touch same sex. And the only 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.880 people they get to heaven are sis gender heteronormative heterosexual marriages. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.640 But if you're gay and you put your penis and 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.480 another woman's vagina, but you don't move it back and forth, 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.920 that's okay, right, you'll be. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.959 Heralded in heaven. If you're gay and you put in 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:39.720 a vagina and you do move it back and forth, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.959 and you have children and you toe the line and 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.960 you raise a family up unto God and you deny 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:49.240 your sinful feelings of homosexuality is how we would. 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:50.960 Look at it, right, So just be a totally different 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:51.920 person and you'd be fine. 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:53.959 And then when you get to heaven, God will fix you. 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.720 And that's what I would tell my kids, you know, like, 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.680 it wasn't really that I believed this whole hardly is 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.320 just what I lived. It was my neighbors, it was 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.480 their friends, it was what I did, you know, twenty 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:05.400 hours a week. It was just my entire world. But 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:07.280 as soon as I had to answer a hard question, 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.559 we would just say, God'll figure it out, don't worry 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.120 about it. You know, it'll never happen to us. And 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:13.960 then you get divorced, and then you get a duy 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.760 or whatever happens, and it's happening to you, and your 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.559 kids are growing up and you have to face them, 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.280 and you have to face yourself, and if you go 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.160 on TV, you have to face the TV audience. But 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:26.280 there were some hard stops that forced me to just 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:31.200 to do this, to kind of leave openly and leave loudly. 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.040 I wouldn't say proudly, but loudly. 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.720 Yeah, Yeah, I like it. I'm behind you one hundred percent. 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.520 As they say, I'll say one hundred and seventy five percent. 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.880 No one's saying that. 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.600 That's good, thank you, thanks, you're welcome. 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.840 So this is a local question. I was just reading 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:51.520 the paper over the weekend about Salt Lake, the Lake 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.440 of Salt Lake, the Great Salt Lake, and how it's 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.120 deteriorated and it's basically a quarter of the size it 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:58.520 was even twenty years ago. 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:02.160 I have a question, do you know if this crazy. 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:05.000 Snowfall that you guys got and around Salt Lake City 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:07.040 is going to change the size of that lake. 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.120 Mormons have been praying for moisture every single prayer in 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.080 church and constantly, and so because we've been seeing the 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:16.320 Great Salt Lake dry up and it's a sign of 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:20.200 the end of days, last coming and or global warming, 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.640 you know, we take it over the. 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:24.120 Lap. 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:26.600 And I mean it was snowing this morning. It was 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.400 a blizzard this morning, so I'm hoping. But you know, 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.240 I don't care much about the moisture and the Great 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.000 Salt Lake. I should, but I'm just not deeply invested. 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.480 It smells I know. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:38.920 Well, I just don't want to deal with what's happening 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.160 in this world right now. It is so scary and 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.520 oh anyway, sorry, I digress. So I want to talk 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:47.160 about your relationship with your mom. So your mom are 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.680 you She's not talking to you because you left the church, right. 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.760 Yeah, I mean and Ashal, Yeah, Like I saw her 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:57.560 at Christmas. We didn't even exchange Christmas greetings barely. I 0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.800 gave her like a stiff hug, and then everybody just 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.280 ignored me and said, how are you keeping busy? And 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:03.960 what are you going to do when your youngest graduates 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.920 from high school? And I thought, live my life, like, 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.520 I mean, they just don't. It's just this really weird, 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.480 strained thing that I feel like, why am I here? 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:15.520 Like why am I like pandering to these people and 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.280 acting like they are interested in anything I'm doing when 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.360 they're totally making me feel crazy? 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.800 And why are you there so your children have a 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.240 relationship with your family or because you really do. I mean, 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.080 I'm sure you still would like a relationship. 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:29.640 But I mean I've thought a lot about that because 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:31.800 Christmas was a little bit more intense. The book was 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:33.960 coming out in February, was right there, all the press 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:35.760 was hitting, and I thought about it, and I think 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.920 that one, I don't want to be one of those 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:39.760 weird people that their family hates them. 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:40.160 You know. 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:44.040 It just seems like it's like this sign that you're troubled. 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.720 So I think there's part of that that like wants 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.560 that validity or reassurance. But also for my kids, I 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.600 feel bad. And also I grew up with tons of cousins, 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.480 and I grew up with this like multi generational family 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:59.240 feeling Sundays where everyone getting together and Christmas Eve, like 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:02.520 all of my friends with their ten siblings and all 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:04.720 their kids, and I just, you know, I want that 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.439 for them, and I feel like I have to create that, 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:10.240 so I, you know, chase after it, but it doesn't 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:13.520 exist for me here. It's really me and my kids, 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:14.840 and that's it. You know. 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:18.360 Another interesting thing, The main thing that breaks up families 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:22.240 is religion, because gay people get separated from their families 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.640 when they're religious. I mean, isn't that so ironic when 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.040