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Speaker 1: Hi, Hi everybody. Hi Catherine, Oh, hi Chelsea. Hi. What's

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Speaker 1: going on? It's May. We're deep into throws of bank.

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Speaker 2: This year is going by very quickly, so fast, it's

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Speaker 2: what's happening. I don't like it.

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Speaker 3: It just like rained for several months and then all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden, a summer.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, since summertime is coming, and that means my

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Speaker 2: family is coming. Ooh, who's visiting? Everybody's visiting? No, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: no one's visiting. I actually am homeless. In June, I

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Speaker 2: become homeless. Oh no, July and August.

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Speaker 1: Yes, my house is not ready until August.

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Speaker 2: And I decided to give up my rental because it

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Speaker 2: just makes no sense that I've been in this rental

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Speaker 2: and I'm home.

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Speaker 1: Twice a week. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I take a couple of months off of touring

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Speaker 2: and I'm just going to bounce around Europe and Africa.

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Speaker 3: Oh fantastic, that's a great place.

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Speaker 1: Those we came home, all.

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Speaker 2: My nieces to Africa waiting have they been before?

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Speaker 1: No, none of them have been.

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Speaker 2: Only my sissy and I have been to Africa, and

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Speaker 2: we're going back together and we have that She's like,

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Speaker 2: you're going to be really sick of me, or which

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Speaker 2: is coach for she's going to be sick of me

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Speaker 2: and my fucking mood swings. But where we have two

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Speaker 2: weeks together and then we have one week of just

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Speaker 2: a romantic couple.

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Speaker 1: In the villa, right, and then I have three weddings.

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Speaker 2: I have Ben Bruno's wedding, I have my cousin Ted

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Speaker 2: his wedding, and then I have someone else's wedding.

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Speaker 1: I'm a groomsman and Ben Bruno's wedding, so that's a

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Speaker 1: lot of responsibility. But that's the only thing I'm flying

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Speaker 1: back for.

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Speaker 2: So I'll be in the stage for a weekend for

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Speaker 2: Ben Bruno's wedding.

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Speaker 3: Just like jet lagged af and then no, I.

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Speaker 2: Think we can fuck around that quickly, like it doesn't

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Speaker 2: have time to catch up, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: If I go in and out real quick of time zones,

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Speaker 2: then it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: Then it's like fine, I know, well, I am abandoning

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Speaker 3: my husband to go to Mexico for a week with

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Speaker 3: a couple of my girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: Nice, I know, I'm very week.

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Speaker 3: For about like five days, four nice five days. We've

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Speaker 3: got like a little spot that we love to go

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Speaker 3: and me and the same two girlfriends have gone.

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Speaker 1: Like the last few years. Nice.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome, nice, very nice. So he has three pugs

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Speaker 3: to take care of all by himself, love you.

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Speaker 2: Mmmm well, they'll probably be perfectly trained by the time

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Speaker 2: you get.

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Speaker 1: Of course they will.

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Speaker 3: They'll be seven whole months old.

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Speaker 4: Well, hey, Chelsea, just like you and your sister, she's

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Speaker 4: looking to become a midlife lesbian.

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Speaker 1: Oh is she? Oh? Wow?

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Speaker 2: Well that must be a reflection of your performance, Bratt.

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Speaker 2: I do try well, not hard enough, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Well, whoopsie do at all? Well?

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Speaker 3: On that note, should we intro our guest for today?

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Speaker 1: I am so excited? Oh yes, we haven't.

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Speaker 2: Reformed Mormon on my favorite topic of conversation, Mormonism.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And you know what, I'm not a big Housewives fan,

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Speaker 3: but The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the

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Speaker 3: only one that I actually watch, and Heather is my favorite.

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Speaker 3: I think she's great.

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Speaker 2: But I'm just gonna say for the record, I don't

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Speaker 2: watch the Housewives. I've never seen The Housewives. I saw

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Speaker 2: what episode once as a favorite of my assistant to

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Speaker 2: try and figure out what she's interested in, and I

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Speaker 2: decided I'm not interested anyway. So I just want to

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Speaker 2: make that claimer because I don't want to pretend that

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Speaker 2: I've seen a show that I haven't seen, even though

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Speaker 2: that's probably polite for the guest. Our guest is a

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Speaker 2: housewife and she's currently starring in The Real Housewives Ultimate

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Speaker 2: Girls Trip Thailand. And she recently opened the second location

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Speaker 2: of Beauty Lab and Laser in Utah. And she is

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Speaker 2: a New York Times bestselling author of Bad Mormon, owner

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Speaker 2: of Beauty Lab and Laser, and star of Bravos Real

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Speaker 2: Housewives of Salt Lake City.

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Speaker 1: Heather Gay Hi, Heather, Hi.

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Speaker 5: I'm so nervous.

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Speaker 1: Oh, don't be, don't be. We're gonna have to just Oh,

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Speaker 1: I need a hit of it Inhaler, Do you have

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Speaker 1: another one? Fuck? I should have brought my.

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Speaker 3: Chelsea's and Haler's have a little more tea in them.

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Speaker 1: I just yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: I just was pulling out the things that are in

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Speaker 2: my purse that my house keeper packs me up with

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Speaker 2: every day because I'm like a little baby that going

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Speaker 2: off to school.

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Speaker 1: Every time I leave the house, and she has.

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Speaker 2: Like little stones, crystals, gummies with THHD and then a

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Speaker 2: little heart, a little heartstone that says strength, and she's like,

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Speaker 2: this is so funny.

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Speaker 1: I go, I know, but what I'm missing is a

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Speaker 1: fucking in.

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Speaker 5: Hale or it's like a diaper bag exactly. You need

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Speaker 5: halar and then like a quiet book and some cheerios.

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Speaker 2: And that's like, yeah, exactly, all right, Heather, there's no

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Speaker 2: reason to be nervous.

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Speaker 1: What are you nervous about?

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Speaker 2: Are you nervous about talking or are you nervous about

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Speaker 2: the questions I'm gonna ask.

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Speaker 5: I'm just nervous because I'm excited, you know. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: this is a big, big moment for me, Chelsea handler.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'm trying to like not be too effusive

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Speaker 5: and just be cool. Just be cool.

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Speaker 2: That's my mantrage Yeah cool, cool cool. Yeah great, that's

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Speaker 2: a great start for all sad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So, Heather, we I read your book. We both read

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Speaker 2: your book about leaving Mormonism. And I speak for both

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Speaker 2: Catherine and myself when I say we are fascinated by Mormons.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And Chelsea has a family connection.

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Speaker 2: I do have a family connection because my sister was

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Speaker 2: a Mormon for a while and then I think she

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Speaker 2: slowly stepped out of it. She hasn't brought it up

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Speaker 2: in years, so we just pretend that it's over.

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Speaker 5: And mention it.

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Speaker 2: But my mom was Mormon, and she was from Germany actually,

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Speaker 2: and she grew up Mormon, which is interesting, and then

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Speaker 2: they came over to the United States.

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Speaker 1: So I know a little bit about Mormonism.

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess I probably know more than the average

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Speaker 2: person because I lived with and we had, you know,

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Speaker 2: the church at our house all the time. And what

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Speaker 2: I do find very amusing though in modern times, in

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Speaker 2: today's times, is that what Mormon people do to avoid

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Speaker 2: having sex that actually is sex, Like what is it called.

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Speaker 1: I've done these things.

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Speaker 5: On dogging, arm pittying, all the things.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, hey, guys, that's fucking just so you know,

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Speaker 2: you're still having sex.

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Speaker 5: Any hole, but the holy hole. That's the mantra.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate when religion tells you not to have sex.

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Speaker 2: Religion is the root of all evil as well. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so tell us about your departure, because it happened probably

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Speaker 2: as a result of you being on the Housewives Right

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Speaker 2: of Salt Lake.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean going on house was for sure like

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Speaker 5: rip the band aid off. It'd been kind of a

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Speaker 5: slow bleed, but with like the church. You just don't

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Speaker 5: leave when you're surrounded by it and it's your family

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Speaker 5: and it's everybody, you just don't talk about it. If

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Speaker 5: you're not living it. You do it quietly and silently,

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Speaker 5: you know, behind the closed doors. But you tow the

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Speaker 5: line and you play the game. And I had been

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Speaker 5: doing that for years and then, but I knew that

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Speaker 5: if I went on reality television, I had to own

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Speaker 5: it one way or the other. Either had to become

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Speaker 5: a devout Mormon again, which was out of the cards

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Speaker 5: and probably would take like a huge disciplinary process through

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Speaker 5: the church for that to happen, or I had to.

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Speaker 1: Just stop right there. What kind of disciplinary processes are there?

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Speaker 5: Okay, Well, every you meet with your local leaders regularly,

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Speaker 5: so like you meet with them quarterly or anytime that

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Speaker 5: you get a new assignment or anytime there's a shake up,

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Speaker 5: like with leadership. And they are men in your neighborhood

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Speaker 5: that you go to church with weekly, So they're not

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Speaker 5: kind of They're not like guys you can pull the

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Speaker 5: wool over their eyes. It's men that like know if

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Speaker 5: you're showing up to church, they know you in the community.

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Speaker 5: They know if you're wearing a modest clothing. They know

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Speaker 5: if you're messing around, they know you. You know, they're

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Speaker 5: your neighbors and your friends, and they are also your

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Speaker 5: leaders and they're in charge of you. So you have

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Speaker 5: to answer very specific a list of questions every time

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Speaker 5: you meet with them in order to like get a calling,

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Speaker 5: or go to the temple and have your temple license,

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Speaker 5: which we call a temple recommend renewed, and it's a

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Speaker 5: digitized just like a driver's license. You go to the temple,

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Speaker 5: they scan it. If it beeps, you get to go in.

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Speaker 5: If it doesn't, you are on.

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Speaker 3: You're out on the street.

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Speaker 4: So if you.

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Speaker 5: Answer those questions wrong, then there's a disciplinary process and

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Speaker 5: they decide how bad it was. If you messed up,

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Speaker 5: like if you said I drank a beer, you could

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Speaker 5: probably just handle it with your bishop locally right there.

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Speaker 5: But if you had an affair, if you had sex,

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Speaker 5: if you associated with any anti Mormon group, if you

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Speaker 5: weren't wearing your garments day and night, then they would

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Speaker 5: kick it up to a regional leader, and that regional

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Speaker 5: leader would determine if the sins were merited. A disciplinary council,

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Speaker 5: which is a group of twelve men from the surrounding

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Speaker 5: area called area authorities, and they're your friend's husbands. Like

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Speaker 5: it's not just it's not just a panel. It's like

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Speaker 5: the people that you go to church with that you see.

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Speaker 5: It's the principle. It's like the entire community, like the doctor,

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Speaker 5: the baker, the candlestick maker, and they're all just kind

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Speaker 5: of like Handmaid's Tale. They're all sitting at a around

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Speaker 5: a table in white shirts, ties and suits, and you

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Speaker 5: sit there and you tell them all of your sins.

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Speaker 5: You tell them how many times you've had sex with

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Speaker 5: the person, or drank or you know, stepped out, anytime

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Speaker 5: you've broken the rules. They make you detail. It's kind

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Speaker 5: of like a venting of an airing of sins.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like scientology.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, like an audit. I guess it would be similar

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Speaker 5: to like an audit. And then they determine, they meet,

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Speaker 5: they'd send you out, and then they determine your punishment.

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Speaker 5: And it can be excommunication, it can be probation. It

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Speaker 5: can be called disfellowship. And disfellowship means you can't take

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Speaker 5: the sacrament, you can't say public prayers, you can't teach lessons,

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Speaker 5: but you still have not lost your baptismal covenants. If

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Speaker 5: you're excommunicating, you have to get rebaptized, you have to

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Speaker 5: go through the missionary discussions, you have to pretend like

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Speaker 5: you're a virgin in the Mormon Church.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's so interesting too that you say

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Speaker 3: like a panel of men, because it is men. It's

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Speaker 3: not a jury of your peers, including women and other people.

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Speaker 3: It is just men who are the leaders of the

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Speaker 3: Mormon churches.

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Speaker 4: Men.

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Speaker 2: I mean, really, religion is the beginning of patriarchy. Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: really was, because before that we were a patriarchal society

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Speaker 2: and it became patriarchal because of religion. So when you left,

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Speaker 2: your mother's still part of the church, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: My whole family, except for two siblings, are all active

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Speaker 5: devout members that have never acknowledged the book, have not

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Speaker 5: sent a text, not sent a note, not mentioned it

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Speaker 5: at Christmas dinner. Nothing, It's like it doesn't exist. The

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Speaker 5: show existed for the first few months, like they would

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Speaker 5: talk about it because it was kind of tittillating and

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Speaker 5: fun and might be innocuous. But then once I wasn't

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Speaker 5: speaking well of the church, once I was drinking on camera,

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Speaker 5: you know, swearing doing all the things. Then they acted

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Speaker 5: like they just turned the television off and it does

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Speaker 5: doesn't exist either.

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Speaker 1: Denial is also part of religion.

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Speaker 2: It's completely denial of reality or things that don't you know,

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Speaker 2: vibe with what you're putting out there totally.

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Speaker 3: We were just talking about this, like how you're going

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Speaker 3: on a Real Housewives sort of was at the same

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Speaker 3: time as you were starting to leave the church or

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Speaker 3: have these sort of epiphanies of like maybe this isn't

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Speaker 3: for me, and that your bishop when you asked him

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Speaker 3: if you should go on the show, actually said like yes,

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Speaker 3: but take a glass of milk anytime you're at a

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Speaker 3: party with alcohol, so you're presenting the appearance of not drinking.

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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, the facade.

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Speaker 3: Is something that I find so interesting in what you

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Speaker 3: talk about.

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Speaker 5: Well, we believe it's like a codependence, like we have

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Speaker 5: a responsibility to not only share the gospel and convert

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Speaker 5: everyone in our circle, but to represent for like anyone

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Speaker 5: in around us. We don't speak or dwell on sin.

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Speaker 5: We don't talk about it, Like when I got my

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Speaker 5: reckless drive and he's like, don't speak of it. This

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Speaker 5: is not part you know, just stamp it out forget

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Speaker 5: it ever happened. And you think that that would be

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Speaker 5: like that would cultivate a culture of positivity, but it's

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Speaker 5: really just a culture of shame and secrecy. Also, we're

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Speaker 5: supposed to be the happiest people on earth, so it's

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Speaker 5: a big you know, there's a conflict there, there's an edge.

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Speaker 2: Is that what Mormons think they are the happiest people

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Speaker 2: on earth?

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Speaker 5: Well, we believe that the plan, the Mormon Plan, is

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Speaker 5: the plan of happiness and that men are that they

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Speaker 5: might have joy, you know that is and your righteousness

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Speaker 5: is absolutely you know how Jewish people can be like

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Speaker 5: upset and Jewish and it's like they can still be

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Speaker 5: devout Jews Mormons. If you don't have a smell on

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Speaker 5: your face, you must not be righteous, you must not

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Speaker 5: be blessed, you must not love the Lord because we

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Speaker 5: believe that like our choices dictate our blessings, and happy

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Speaker 5: people are blessed. You know, that's a sign of how

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Speaker 5: blessed you are, is how happy you are. So we're

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Speaker 5: fronting not only just to ourselves but to our community

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Speaker 5: because it's status. The happier you are, the higher your status.

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Speaker 1: And do they care about money and wealth? And all

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Speaker 1: of that individually.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean we're we're I think we're tempered,

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Speaker 5: well meaning, like frugal people, like we're with so full

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Speaker 5: and I don't think like I'm a spend thrift, but

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Speaker 5: like we believe, like the only people that get the

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Speaker 5: high leadership lines are the extremely wealthy in the church

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Speaker 5: because they have to have discretionary and time and income

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Speaker 5: because they devote, you know, thirty hours a week to

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Speaker 5: shepherding the community as you know, lay leaders in the church.

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Speaker 5: So you can't you can't have a fifty hour a

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Speaker 5: week job and also be a bishop, you know.

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Speaker 2: And you're also the only religion, well maybe not the

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Speaker 2: only religion. I think there's some Middle Eastern religions that

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Speaker 2: also adhere to this. But then you have living prophets,

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Speaker 2: like men are just named to be or deemed a

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Speaker 2: prophet while they're alive, which is such a crock of shit.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's a if you want me to believe

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Speaker 2: in profits, then they at least have to be dead.

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Speaker 4: It's true.

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Speaker 5: It's the true and living prophet. We believe he's the

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Speaker 5: voice of God on the earth, and he has twelve

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Speaker 5: apostles that meet with him. And they do a conference

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Speaker 5: semi annually and we all listen to it. It's hours long.

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Speaker 5: And at the last conference, they denounced transgender, they denounced

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Speaker 5: diverse city, they denounced same sex marriage, they denounced everything.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, I thought the Church of

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Speaker 2: Latter day Saints had put out a statement saying they

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Speaker 2: accepted gay people into the church. They don't condone it,

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Speaker 2: but they accept them.

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Speaker 5: No, you as long as you don't act on it.

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Speaker 5: You can can't law of chastity, you cannot be gay,

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Speaker 5: you can't can't or touch same sex. And the only

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Speaker 5: people they get to heaven are sis gender heteronormative heterosexual marriages.

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Speaker 2: But if you're gay and you put your penis and

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Speaker 2: another woman's vagina, but you don't move it back and forth,

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Speaker 2: that's okay, right, you'll be.

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Speaker 5: Heralded in heaven. If you're gay and you put in

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Speaker 5: a vagina and you do move it back and forth,

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Speaker 5: and you have children and you toe the line and

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Speaker 5: you raise a family up unto God and you deny

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Speaker 5: your sinful feelings of homosexuality is how we would.

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Speaker 3: Look at it, right, So just be a totally different

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Speaker 3: person and you'd be fine.

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Speaker 5: And then when you get to heaven, God will fix you.

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Speaker 5: And that's what I would tell my kids, you know, like,

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Speaker 5: it wasn't really that I believed this whole hardly is

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Speaker 5: just what I lived. It was my neighbors, it was

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Speaker 5: their friends, it was what I did, you know, twenty

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Speaker 5: hours a week. It was just my entire world. But

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Speaker 5: as soon as I had to answer a hard question,

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Speaker 5: we would just say, God'll figure it out, don't worry

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Speaker 5: about it. You know, it'll never happen to us. And

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Speaker 5: then you get divorced, and then you get a duy

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Speaker 5: or whatever happens, and it's happening to you, and your

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Speaker 5: kids are growing up and you have to face them,

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Speaker 5: and you have to face yourself, and if you go

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Speaker 5: on TV, you have to face the TV audience. But

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Speaker 5: there were some hard stops that forced me to just

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Speaker 5: to do this, to kind of leave openly and leave loudly.

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't say proudly, but loudly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I like it. I'm behind you one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: As they say, I'll say one hundred and seventy five percent.

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Speaker 2: No one's saying that.

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Speaker 5: That's good, thank you, thanks, you're welcome.

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Speaker 2: So this is a local question. I was just reading

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Speaker 2: the paper over the weekend about Salt Lake, the Lake

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Speaker 2: of Salt Lake, the Great Salt Lake, and how it's

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Speaker 2: deteriorated and it's basically a quarter of the size it

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Speaker 2: was even twenty years ago.

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Speaker 1: I have a question, do you know if this crazy.

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Speaker 2: Snowfall that you guys got and around Salt Lake City

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Speaker 2: is going to change the size of that lake.

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Speaker 5: Mormons have been praying for moisture every single prayer in

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Speaker 5: church and constantly, and so because we've been seeing the

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Speaker 5: Great Salt Lake dry up and it's a sign of

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Speaker 5: the end of days, last coming and or global warming,

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Speaker 5: you know, we take it over the.

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Speaker 6: Lap.

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Speaker 5: And I mean it was snowing this morning. It was

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Speaker 5: a blizzard this morning, so I'm hoping. But you know,

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Speaker 5: I don't care much about the moisture and the Great

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Speaker 5: Salt Lake. I should, but I'm just not deeply invested.

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Speaker 5: It smells I know.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just don't want to deal with what's happening

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Speaker 2: in this world right now. It is so scary and

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Speaker 2: oh anyway, sorry, I digress. So I want to talk

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Speaker 2: about your relationship with your mom. So your mom are

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Speaker 2: you She's not talking to you because you left the church, right.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean and Ashal, Yeah, Like I saw her

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Speaker 5: at Christmas. We didn't even exchange Christmas greetings barely. I

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Speaker 5: gave her like a stiff hug, and then everybody just

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Speaker 5: ignored me and said, how are you keeping busy? And

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Speaker 5: what are you going to do when your youngest graduates

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Speaker 5: from high school? And I thought, live my life, like,

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Speaker 5: I mean, they just don't. It's just this really weird,

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Speaker 5: strained thing that I feel like, why am I here?

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Speaker 5: Like why am I like pandering to these people and

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Speaker 5: acting like they are interested in anything I'm doing when

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Speaker 5: they're totally making me feel crazy?

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Speaker 2: And why are you there so your children have a

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Speaker 2: relationship with your family or because you really do. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure you still would like a relationship.

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Speaker 5: But I mean I've thought a lot about that because

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Speaker 5: Christmas was a little bit more intense. The book was

381
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Speaker 5: coming out in February, was right there, all the press

382
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Speaker 5: was hitting, and I thought about it, and I think

383
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Speaker 5: that one, I don't want to be one of those

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Speaker 5: weird people that their family hates them.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 5: It just seems like it's like this sign that you're troubled.

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Speaker 5: So I think there's part of that that like wants

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Speaker 5: that validity or reassurance. But also for my kids, I

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Speaker 5: feel bad. And also I grew up with tons of cousins,

390
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Speaker 5: and I grew up with this like multi generational family

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Speaker 5: feeling Sundays where everyone getting together and Christmas Eve, like

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Speaker 5: all of my friends with their ten siblings and all

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Speaker 5: their kids, and I just, you know, I want that

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Speaker 5: for them, and I feel like I have to create that,

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Speaker 5: so I, you know, chase after it, but it doesn't

396
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Speaker 5: exist for me here. It's really me and my kids,

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Speaker 5: and that's it. You know.

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Speaker 2: Another interesting thing, The main thing that breaks up families

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Speaker 2: is religion, because gay people get separated from their families

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Speaker 2: when they're religious. I mean, isn't that so ironic when

401
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 2: you think about it, because even people still talk to

402
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Speaker 2: their siblings when they murder someone and their kids and

403
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Speaker 2: their fathers. But if you're not religious and I'm religious,

404
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Speaker 2: then it's over.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, my siblings won't extend like readings of Love,

406
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Speaker 5: but they've all like made sure they did disparaging reviews

407
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Speaker 5: of the book. You know, don't read it, read the

408
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Speaker 5: Book of Mormon. Instead. They feel like it's supporting me

409
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Speaker 5: or supporting God, and if you're up against God and

410
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Speaker 5: someone's devotion to God, you're never going to win, you know,

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Speaker 5: I'm never They're never going to pick me over their martyrdom.

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Speaker 5: And it's just it feels like it's battle. Like I

413
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Speaker 5: keep saying, maybe my next book will be Bad Love

414
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Speaker 5: How to Escape toxic families, because I don't want to

415
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Speaker 5: have to go after them anymore and and prove myself

416
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Speaker 5: or accept them or understand them or explain it. I

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Speaker 5: just don't want to feel that sadness anymore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and how did your kids handle all the separation

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Speaker 2: from the church and everything.

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Speaker 5: Well, they were like wary at first, but then when

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Speaker 5: they realized. Well, I think my college daughter, when she

422
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Speaker 5: realized it, she could go to college and drink and

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Speaker 5: be a true sorority girl. She's living her best life.

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Speaker 5: She's nineteen, a fan of Barbara, and I'm living vicariously

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Speaker 5: through her, you know. I just it feels like a

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Speaker 5: second life for me to watch her just party. And

427
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Speaker 5: when I went to parents' weekend, she like came out

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Speaker 5: in this braw thing and she's say, it's lingerie. I

429
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Speaker 5: turned into a shirt, you know. And when I was

430
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Speaker 5: at college, I had to have cap sleeves. I wasn't

431
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Speaker 5: allowed to wear anything that didn't touch my knees or

432
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Speaker 5: I'd get reported to the Honor Code office, you know.

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Speaker 5: Like it's just to see her like be kind of

434
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Speaker 5: sex positive and free and party. And she suggested a

435
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Speaker 5: drink to me, and I was just like, whoa. You know,

436
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Speaker 5: I just didn't grow up like that. And it makes

437
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 5: me feel like I broke the chain a little bit.

438
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 5: And my you are into it too.

439
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, that must feel good for you for your kids.

440
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 5: It's good.

441
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 2: It's a real mama bear move, breaking that kind of cycle,

442
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 2: you know, anything so restrictive. I just feel like it's

443
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 2: such an inhibitor to a person's development.

444
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think it's it's what you said about

445
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 5: the patriarchy too. I mean I had three daughters and

446
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,640
Speaker 5: it's like I've raised them alone and I've never I've

447
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 5: never needed their dad. I feel bad saying that, you know,

448
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 5: but like I've done it on my own, and I

449
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 5: for them, it's more like that no restrictions. They can

450
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 5: become and be whatever they want. And I think that

451
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 5: it really was healing for them to see their mom

452
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,959
Speaker 5: do this and not have to. You know, we decorate

453
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 5: the house how we want. We don't ask for money

454
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 5: for the movies. Like we are a matriarchal little society

455
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 5: and that makes me fucking proud.

456
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: I like it.

457
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 2: How's your relationship with your ex husband? Well, I'm assuming

458
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 2: you guys don't talk that.

459
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 5: Much, but yeah, we don't talk to them much.

460
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 1: He's Mormon, right, Yeah.

461
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 5: He's Mormon. He uh. He like started doing spiritual thoughts

462
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 5: with the girls when he'd see them, and trying to

463
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 5: make sure that he could like countermand any negative influence

464
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 5: I was giving them. But he's just not a big

465
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 5: influence in our life, you know. He he left and

466
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 5: we just have been on our own since the girls

467
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,399
Speaker 5: were little.

468
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 4: You know.

469
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,479
Speaker 5: He left in twenty eleven.

470
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 1: Aren't you so glad he left.

471
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 5: I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I

472
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 5: would have I would have been one of those Martyred moms,

473
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 5: just resentful. Probably. I don't know what I would have done,

474
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,679
Speaker 5: but I wouldn't have been the mom I wanted to

475
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 5: be to my kids, because I would be trying to

476
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,479
Speaker 5: raise them so that he thought I was a good wife,

477
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 5: you know, and not raising them just to be these

478
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 5: like spirit animals whatever they want to be, and that

479
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 5: feels like the most freeing honestly.

480
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, because whatever I read or hear about a breakup,

481
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 2: because you know, when you're in the thick of it,

482
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: obviously doesn't feel good and you can't see the forest

483
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 2: for the trees.

484
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: But whenever I read or hear about.

485
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 2: It or I'm talking to someone, I'm like, I just

486
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 2: want I want you to just have thirty seconds of

487
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 2: a window into your life in six months and going

488
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 2: to say thank you, Like absolutely, it's always always okay.

489
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 2: Everyone survives breakups over and over again. There is a

490
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 2: period of time where you think it's unsurvivable, and then

491
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,360
Speaker 2: you move into the next phase, and then you get

492
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 2: to a phase where you're like, well, thank god somebody

493
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: ended that so I didn't have to.

494
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 5: It's absolutely true. I think we need to change the

495
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 5: narrative around it, like change the narrative that women need

496
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 5: a man to be complete or satisfied, and change the

497
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 5: narrative that divorces the scarlet letter and the mark of failure,

498
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 5: like have a man in college, have a man to

499
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 5: have kids with, then raise them with somebody else and

500
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,439
Speaker 5: retire someone else, or just be single your whole life,

501
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 5: like I will never remarry. I don't want my daughters

502
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 5: to necessarily even put it on their vision board. But

503
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 5: I grew up with hope chest and baby names, and

504
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 5: my dad said, I'll pay one hundred dollars for every

505
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 5: baby you name off the sealed envelope. You know, it's

506
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 5: just this weird concept of everything I was raised to

507
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,479
Speaker 5: do is just to be a wife and mother. So

508
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 5: I had to reframe all of that when it fell apart,

509
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 5: and all of that was steeped in religion, religion in

510
00:21:59,560 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 5: the patrio.

511
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 2: And also instead of calling it a breakup, we should

512
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: just call it getting back together with ourselves.

513
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, like I'm going back to me.

514
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 5: I'm coming back for you, baby, I'm coming.

515
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 2: Back, circling back and then I'll branch out later down

516
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 2: the road for sure.

517
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: What's happening with your love life these days? Heather?

518
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 5: Just like absolutely nothing. I mean, come on, I just

519
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 5: for a while, I was like kind of hoping that

520
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 5: like the celebrity and stuff would like get me laid

521
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 5: and it would just have like.

522
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 2: No, it's harder to get laid when you're a celebrity.

523
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I just think guys don't really like strong,

524
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 5: funny women. I just think they don't. Honestly, it's just

525
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 5: not attractive.

526
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: To No, it's not.

527
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: It's not attractive because that's what they're supposed to provide.

528
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 2: So if you're providing the same thing, they don't need it.

529
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: They're like, well, wait, I'm the strong one.

530
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, why are you here? Yeah?

531
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: They may think they like it, but when it's put

532
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 2: into practice, it's a much different endeavor. Although that's not

533
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,160
Speaker 2: to say all men. Obviously, there are men out there

534
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 2: that can handle a strong woman. I've met them, and

535
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 2: I've dated some. Most of the ones I've dated, though,

536
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 2: have been brief. Maybe I wasn't able to recognize it.

537
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 2: But it's a sometimes this is a show. It's head

538
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 2: for a couple of months.

539
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Yeah, but you should be

540
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: on some I hope you're on some sites or something.

541
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,119
Speaker 5: I haven't gone online. I think I'm still kind of

542
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 5: steeped in this shame of like the spinster woman. That's

543
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 5: like trying to find a man, like I don't know,

544
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 5: Like I feel like when I got divorced and I

545
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,199
Speaker 5: had kids, it was over, like I had to just

546
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 5: now be this mom. But now I'm at this space

547
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 5: where I'm feeling myself a little bit. I want to

548
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 5: get out there, but I'm not online. And I also

549
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 5: tend to just date like really young, dumb guys that

550
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 5: are just in it for the fun, you know, And

551
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 5: that's just feels like treading water. And it makes me

552
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 5: feel validated and like I'm not dried up and I'm

553
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 5: still active out there, but it's just it also feels

554
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 5: a little bit just like spinning your wheels. I don't

555
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 5: know if I'm comfortable enough in my new identity to

556
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 5: like be with the person without.

557
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: It's still no yeah, it's still new and there's no rush.

558
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I take so much time to myself after

559
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 2: every relationship, just to get back together with myself. Like

560
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: I said, like I'm like, all right, I know I'm

561
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: not going to be single forever. You're not gonna be

562
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: single forever. There's gonna be dalliances and then there's gonna

563
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 2: be relationships. That's just the nature of life and being

564
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 2: a person that's outgoing enough to be on television. Like, yes,

565
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: it's harder to meet people, I think when you're a celebrity,

566
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: because it's just an awkward kind of mix, you know what.

567
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: I mean, it's strange, Like I go through my dms

568
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 2: and when guys are like hitting on me or whatever,

569
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 2: I'll take a look at their profile.

570
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: But if it's a private account, I'm not going.

571
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: To follow you to find out if you look like.

572
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 2: I'm not that desperate, you know what I mean. I'm like,

573
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look like, oh okay, because you can look

574
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 2: through a whole Instagram page and get a good idea

575
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 2: of what kind of person you're dealing with. And I'm

576
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 2: not opposed to hooking up with a stranger on the

577
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: road that hits me up.

578
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: I'm down. I just have to be too.

579
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 2: I have to make sure that you're like normal and

580
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 2: smart and you know, not an idiot, and you don't

581
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 2: have like, you know, spiky jewelry or something.

582
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 5: Like a Samurai sword above your bed.

583
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 2: Any jewelry is a non starter for me on a man,

584
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 2: I don't want to see anything. But anyway, okay, Well,

585
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 2: we're happy that you're here today, and we're happy that

586
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 2: you're a free of the church, free of marriage, and

587
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,919
Speaker 2: feeling yourself because that is the best combination that you

588
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: could hope for, is to be able to well, not combination,

589
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 2: The best tenant. I think for anybody is to be

590
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 2: feeling yourself. And I'm sure that it took you a

591
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 2: long time to feel this good.

592
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 5: Oh for sure. I mean it's like within the last

593
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 5: few weeks. It's really ever since I hit the best

594
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 5: seller list. That's really when it clicked.

595
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: No arguing with congratulations on that, thank you, thank you.

596
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: As we said before, the book is called Bad Mormon

597
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: in case you missed it, So make sure you pick

598
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 2: up a copy so we can keep either on the

599
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 2: New York Times list.

600
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So Catherine, what do you have in store

601
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: for Oh, some good stuff.

602
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: I am going to need your help getting one of

603
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 3: our callers, laid ladies.

604
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 2: A great, great coming from two people who.

605
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 3: We've got some mom stuff and we've got an ex

606
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 3: Mormon divorce thing going on. So we'll take a quick

607
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: break and we'll be right back with Heather and Chelsea.

608
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 1: And we're back. We're back. Hi, Hi, Hi, Heather, Chelsea

609
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: and Catherine, it's Chessa.

610
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 5: It's straight to be back.

611
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: Well.

612
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 3: Our first email comes from Kara. Kara says, dear Chelsea,

613
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 3: I'm the mother of three girls, ages eight, five, and two.

614
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 3: My oldest who will turn nine in September was just

615
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 3: diagnosed with central precocious puberty syndrome, and I am struggling.

616
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 3: So basically what that means is like, she's just going

617
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 3: through puberty super early. She's already taller than most of

618
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: the other kids in her class and has started to

619
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 3: develop breasts and other signs of puberty. We're a really

620
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 3: open house and we talk about body parts and periods

621
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 3: and all of that.

622
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: But I'm struggling.

623
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 3: What I'm struggling with is teaching her body empowerment and pride.

624
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 3: She's absolutely gorgeous, but feels out of place compared to

625
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 3: the other girls in her class. We're also at the

626
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 3: stage where when we try to talk about things, she

627
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 3: gets embarrassed and either shuts down completely or hello hormones,

628
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 3: lashes out and yells, which she then feels terrible about.

629
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: Later.

630
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 3: She's the only one in her class who has to

631
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 3: wear a bra, and some of the other kids have

632
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 3: noticed and asked why. I come from a long line

633
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 3: of body shamers and struggle with my own self image,

634
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 3: so I try not to say things about my weight

635
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 3: or my looks in front of my daughters, unless I'm

636
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 3: saying how absolutely bang in an outfit is that day,

637
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 3: but yet I still feel like I'm failing. She will

638
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 3: only wear oversized T shirts to school now, even though

639
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 3: she has a whole closet full of clothes she picked

640
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 3: out but has now decided she's quote too big four

641
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 3: and will say things like I miss wearing that outfit.

642
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 3: Mornings are rough because getting everyone out the door and

643
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 3: the outfit picking can lead to big emotions. I just

644
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 3: want her to feel comfortable and confident in her skin.

645
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 3: Any suggestions, Thanks so much, Kara.

646
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: You've raised three girls. Yeah, you go first, your mother here.

647
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, listen, get a prescription for xanax, get

648
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 5: some therapy. It's going to be a referend. I mean, yeah,

649
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 5: this is you know, it's like it doesn't change. Like

650
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 5: you can't teach body, and you can set a good example.

651
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 5: You can create a safe space where they don't have

652
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 5: to worry about it. You can pull them from school

653
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 5: if it's horrible, because it's just like just the intuitive

654
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 5: to what your kid needs and what helps me when

655
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,360
Speaker 5: I because I try to control and fix and I'm

656
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 5: great at presenting, you know, like I want them to like, well,

657
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 5: you know, don't we're oversized. It makes you look boxy,

658
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 5: like I know all the shit because I grew up

659
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 5: with it, right, But I'm so over it, and I'm

660
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 5: so sick of trying to like overcompensate for what I

661
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 5: look like and trying to read the room and see

662
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 5: who's safe and who's likes. People that are do not

663
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 5: have good bodies or you know what I mean. But

664
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 5: at eight, man, that's way too early to even deal

665
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 5: with it. So I would just say, try to remember

666
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 5: who you were when you were eight, not what your

667
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 5: body looked like or not how people treated you, but

668
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 5: who you were inside, and then talk to your daughter

669
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 5: like you would wish somebody to talk to you when

670
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 5: you're eight.

671
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: You know, well she actually she's nine, right, well almost nine?

672
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah almost nine?

673
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 2: Okay, so well, Heather, thank you for listening. Then I

674
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: would also add in, I think the most powerful thing

675
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 2: you can do with a little girl is let her

676
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 2: do whatever the fuck she wants, clothing wise, whatever she wants.

677
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: Obviously she can't dress in a negligee when she's six.

678
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: But I think, however, kids feel the most comfortable that

679
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 2: they're gonna feel is the most important, because comfort is

680
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 2: a paramount to everything and if she wants to wear big,

681
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 2: baggy clothes for the next two years, letter, that's better

682
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 2: than the alternative, you know what I mean, or the

683
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: opposite end of the spectrum. Because kids have to be

684
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: confident in who they are. That is the number one

685
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 2: thing that amounts to a decent sense of self esteem

686
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: and a sense of self Like you have to know

687
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 2: your personality and be able to move in the direction

688
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: that you feel, and your parents are there to guide you,

689
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 2: not to stop you. You know, you have to guide

690
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 2: children in the right direction. They're endangering themselves. That is

691
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 2: a separate issue. But as far as expressing themselves through

692
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: clothing or feeling comfortable in their clothing, I think that

693
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: anything goes and just be there to be a guide

694
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 2: and a support system for this incremental period of time

695
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: that will be over when all the other girls at

696
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 2: school get boobs. Yeah in two years.

697
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 5: Yeah boats. I was thinking what you said earlier, Like

698
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 5: it gets better, It'll change. It's just it's just one

699
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 5: year of school. And like if we look back on

700
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 5: our lives, I remember maybe one thing from second grade

701
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 5: or one thing from third grade, you know what I mean, Like,

702
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 5: just focus on the good and the fun and just

703
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 5: kind of barrel through the bad.

704
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 2: As the parent just know that it'll be one year,

705
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 2: because the kids don't understand one year.

706
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: When you're nine, you've only had nine.

707
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 2: Year eight years, so you're like a year sounds like

708
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 2: an eternity. Also, another quick story is I used to

709
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 2: when I got my boobs. I got them really young,

710
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: when I was twelve at the time. Now it's getting

711
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: even younger. But I taped them down because I was

712
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: so embarrassed because they were big right away.

713
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: They came in overnight, and I remember my mom.

714
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 2: I taped a lot of things down at different times

715
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: in my life, and my mom saw me do it.

716
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: I did it with my thighs once to make my

717
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: thighs smaller, and she kind of said, you can't do

718
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: that again. But when she saw it do it with

719
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: my boobs, she just went, oh, honey, and she didn't

720
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 2: say another word about it. I was embarrassed that she

721
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 2: caught me because we didn't have an open dialogue about

722
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 2: that stuff, Like I was kind of private about it.

723
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 2: But after she caught me, I was like, oh, I

724
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: started doing it in front of her and she never

725
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 2: said anything about it, and I didn't do it for

726
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: very long, because it wasn't long before everyone else had

727
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: boobs too, and then I was like, oh, okay, all right,

728
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 2: we're all together here.

729
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 5: That's smart.

730
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 3: One thing too, that might be helpful is doing a

731
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 3: little closet purge. Like make it a fun thing. Take

732
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 3: a Saturday and go through and be like, you know what,

733
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 3: we're going to go on a shopping trip. Find some

734
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 3: stuff that you like better than what you have now,

735
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 3: So let's go through the closet and just do a

736
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 3: little closet purge in anticipation of buying her a few things.

737
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 3: You know, but I think it's gonna love.

738
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 2: She's good, But I think it's you know, wearing an

739
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: oversized T shirt is a very significant part of.

740
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 3: Yes, you know what I mean.

741
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: It's like, that's what you do at a certain age,

742
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: and it's usually when you're developing.

743
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: Now, I see.

744
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: Girls that are really young and that want to show

745
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: off their bodies. I'm like, oh wow, look at you.

746
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 2: They seem too young to be doing that. But I'm like,

747
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 2: what the fuck do I know? Like what can't you know?

748
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 2: Let them do whatever like makes them happy and confident, confident.

749
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 5: It's tricky with women because we want to say, like,

750
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 5: you're not your body, you're your personality. But that's a lie.

751
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 5: Beauty is currency for women, and we have to fight

752
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 5: it and like overcome it every single day and it sucks,

753
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 5: you know, but it's it's hard to be honest with

754
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 5: your kids, you know.

755
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, waking up every morning having to overcome my own beauty, it's.

756
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: Exhausting and taxing.

757
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 2: I look at myself and I'm like, oh my god,

758
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 2: girl's tricky. You better stay in today if you don't

759
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 2: want to see any car accidents.

760
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: Okay, what do we have next?

761
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: Okay, well, our next question. This is a caller who's

762
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 3: going to be joining us, and her name is Meg.

763
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 3: She says, Dear Chelsea, thank you so much for being

764
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 3: my inspiration for what a socially conscious, independent and hilarious

765
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 3: woman can and should be. I'm hoping to channel some

766
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 3: of your power as I overcome my life's biggest hurdle

767
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 3: so far. My husband and I married at eighteen and

768
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: twenty two, respectively. We've been married almost thirteen years and

769
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 3: have a fourteen month old son to care for. Unfortunately,

770
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 3: I left the Mormon church at twenty five, and my

771
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: husband followed me out three years later. It's now been

772
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 3: three years of us being together as post Mormon people,

773
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 3: and three challenging years of couple's therapy after he had

774
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 3: an affair in his initial panic over his departure from

775
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 3: the church. Now he's saying he feels claustrophobic and can't

776
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: recover from the religious trauma he endured while in our marriage.

777
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 3: He says he still loves me, but that he needs

778
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 3: us to separate to find himself. I respect that he's

779
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 3: been through a lot. He was raised in the church

780
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: while I was a convert, so it wasn't as traumatic

781
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: for me. How do I learn to set boundaries with

782
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 3: the only person I've lived with for thirteen years. We're

783
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 3: stuck living together for at least the next few months

784
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: when our lease ends. And then what I backburnered my

785
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 3: career for twelve years while he became an MD. I've

786
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 3: never been a single adult and I'm thirty one. I

787
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 3: am excited for the possibilities that lie ahead after his

788
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 3: pain subsides, but feeling lost in the soup of all

789
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 3: this change. Please help me find my power. I'm done

790
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 3: feeling like a victim. I just don't know how to

791
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 3: start belonging to myself after all this time, with love

792
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 3: and gratitude. Meg Hi, meg hi.

793
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: Meg hi. Look at how cute you I am.

794
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 5: You can't worry about you?

795
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 1: Ready for your life?

796
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 3: Girl?

797
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 5: Poor face begins now.

798
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you have your whole world in front

799
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: of you.

800
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,839
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, you're gonna be okay, you're gonna be great.

801
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 5: You're gonna be better than great.

802
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 4: Wow. Done.

803
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 5: Give yourself the same freedom he wants because you deserve

804
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 5: it just as much and you will love it. And

805
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 5: just make sure he takes the baby half the time

806
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 5: so that you get the same break.

807
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 4: Ye. Yeah.

808
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 2: I feel like there should be commercials for divorce because

809
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: there are so many upsides for divorce. A. You get

810
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: your kids fifty percent of the time, which sounds crazy

811
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 2: to people when you have babies because mothers can't be

812
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 2: apart from them. But do you understand how much freedom

813
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 2: that is going to bring to your life. When you

814
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,720
Speaker 2: have a responsible fifty fifty to fifty divorce with your spouse,

815
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 2: you get to explore a whole other world, and that

816
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 2: world is of.

817
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: Someone without children.

818
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: Obviously, you're never without your children when you're a parent,

819
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: but like you're gonna be able to operate go on

820
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 2: trips with girls. Go, you know, do whatever you want

821
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 2: in your free time.

822
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 4: Date.

823
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 2: And I also want to just say, like, I think

824
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: you have a great opportunity. You have so many opportunities,

825
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 2: but you have a great opportunity during.

826
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: This transition hout of your marriage to.

827
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 2: Really cement a great friendship with your ex husband soon

828
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 2: to be. You have a chance right now to show

829
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 2: up in a way that you're gonna admire.

830
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: Yourself if you do it the right way.

831
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: Later you're gonna admire yourself for acting with grace and

832
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 2: acting with dignity understanding that this is okay, that he's

833
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 2: gonna go, and you know he needs to be by himself.

834
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 2: That's great because you're gonna be by yourself too, and

835
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 2: that's also great. And use this time to separate with

836
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 2: dignity and love so that you can maintain this really

837
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:37,479
Speaker 2: healthy friendship with appropriate boundaries for you for the rest

838
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 2: of your lives that you guys have to deal with

839
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 2: each other with your children.

840
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,479
Speaker 5: You know, amen, I agree.

841
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: And so when you're talking about boundaries right now, this

842
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 2: is a great time for you to set up boundaries.

843
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: And boundaries don't have to be about what you need.

844
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 2: They have to be about what both people want, Like

845
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 2: he's allowed to say what he wants as well, and

846
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 2: you're allowed to say what you want, and then you

847
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 2: compromise and meet somewhere in the middle. And it's a

848
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: great pathway to divorce. Like, which is where it sounds

849
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: like you guys are headed. So like all of this

850
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: lead time. Heather didn't have any lead.

851
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: Time when her husband left her. He just sent her

852
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: a letter and like cent her divorce papers.

853
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: A lot of divorce as or divorce men don't get

854
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 2: lead time, So like that's a huge gift right there.

855
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: You know what I mean to phase out of a marriage,

856
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 2: because once your head is there, like it's gonna follow

857
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: its suit.

858
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

859
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: This like three months or six months or however long

860
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: you stay together until the marriage is over.

861
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: But what did you mean when you reference boundaries in

862
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: your letter?

863
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,760
Speaker 4: I think it's hard. We live in a very small

864
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 4: house and we are taking care of a very young child,

865
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 4: so there is a lot of being together overlap our

866
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 4: social networks. We're pretty codependent, so we have a lot

867
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 4: of Like my best friend is the wife of his

868
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 4: best friends, so they're still overlapping events. But and I

869
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 4: think honestly, just hearing everything you just said is amazing

870
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,919
Speaker 4: because it feels good now that we've sort of let

871
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 4: each other go. But it's also been my whole adult

872
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 4: life and all of these changes, and it just I mean,

873
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 4: my mom overheard me talking to him on the phone

874
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 4: yesterday coordinating things for the baby, and she was like,

875
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 4: you guys are so nice to each other, and I

876
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,959
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I don't.

877
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: I don't think it's.

878
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 4: Good for me to be mean or to make anyone

879
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 4: wrong or right. So I want to have healthy boundaries.

880
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 4: But sometimes there are voices that are sometimes like you

881
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 4: deserve blah blah blah, you should be telling him blah

882
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 4: blah blah. You should be you know, like put your

883
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 4: foot down with blah blah blah, And it's like not always.

884
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 5: Helpful with no, you don't want you're not trying to

885
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 5: like get anything out of him. You have to treat

886
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 5: him with the same grace and respect that you want.

887
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 5: You guys have the perfect scenario, like you are both

888
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 5: like married, so when you're eighteen, you know you're a baby.

889
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 5: Like I think that sometimes we think we're supposed to

890
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 5: have heartbreak in order to justify the love or make

891
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 5: the love this great love afair. The heartbreak has to

892
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 5: be equal to it. And then this situation, I feel

893
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 5: like you can transition out with love and respect and

894
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 5: a plan and like not feel betrayal or heartbroke and

895
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 5: just be like, I'm so glad I had you for

896
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 5: this tumultuous time and to create this baby. And now

897
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 5: I want to support you. Why you discover who you

898
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 5: are and I'm going to discover who I am and

899
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 5: I'm going to become financially independent. And then as soon

900
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 5: as I am financially independent and have my own identity

901
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 5: and self actualization, maybe you'll fall back in love with

902
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 5: him when your child's fifteen, maybe when he's ten. You

903
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 5: know it's but you need to be financially independent and

904
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 5: emotionally independent and you have the capabilities to do it.

905
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 5: Just because he defined you from eighteen on doesn't mean

906
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 5: he has any bearing on who you might be for

907
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 5: the next fifteen years.

908
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what your example with your friendship?

909
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: You know, the two best friends you guys both have

910
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 2: that are married, Like, that's a great place to start

911
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 2: to be, Like, Okay, hey, listen, I know I'm best friend,

912
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 2: Like I don't want that to change, like I would

913
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 2: love in an ideal world, like paint the picture of

914
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 2: how you would like your relationship to proceed past this point.

915
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 2: I mean during the time that you're living together. Of course,

916
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 2: you know whatever you need. You don't want to be

917
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,760
Speaker 2: disrespected or devalued in any way. But other than that,

918
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 2: that's a great way to just set up some boundaries.

919
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: I mean, what boundaries do you want. Let's talk about

920
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: a couple.

921
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 4: I'm mainly concerned, like I feel like very I've been

922
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 4: reading my Let It Go. Thank you, Chelsea. It's been

923
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 4: super helpful, and I have been finding my spirituality again

924
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 4: because for a long timehether, I'm sure you can relate

925
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 4: to this, it was just like no religion, no spirituality,

926
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 4: like get away from you with your dogma. But I

927
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 4: feel like this has broken me open to a place

928
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 4: where I can be open to other versions of spirituality

929
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 4: that work for me. And I have essentially felt a

930
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 4: lot of ownership over this man because of our relationship,

931
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 4: and I've invested in his career and everything, and so

932
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 4: I'm afraid that those attachments are going to get really

933
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:02,879
Speaker 4: mad when I see him dating other women and when

934
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 4: I have to come face to face with him having

935
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 4: a relationship with somebody else, having no control over who

936
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 4: he dates. And I mean, what if.

937
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 5: Now he's a doctor, he's an MD. You support him

938
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 5: through school. Now he's going to take his new girlfriend,

939
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 5: who beautiful.

940
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's rich's And I'm just like my ego's mad,

941
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 4: Like I put in all of the work, and it's

942
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,879
Speaker 4: to stay in a marriage that doesn't make me happy. No,

943
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 4: not going to use that excuse to stay in a

944
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 4: marriage that doesn't make me happy. But it's going to

945
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 4: be hard for me to watch somebody else do all

946
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 4: of that. So I'm I want to be together as

947
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 4: much as possible for the baby. And we're considering like

948
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 4: staying in the same house for longer. And I don't

949
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 4: know if we should do that financially. We don't live

950
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 4: in a city where it's cheap to have two places.

951
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: It's just how long are you considering staying in the

952
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:51,280
Speaker 1: same house.

953
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 4: Well, we have to until June, possibly August, and then.

954
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 5: We'll keep having sex with him. That's my advice. Don't

955
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 5: begin your hoar phase and tell you have a separate

956
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:04,439
Speaker 5: place to live.

957
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,919
Speaker 4: But yeah, oh no, no, I definitely won't. And we've

958
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 4: already said boundaries. I was like, you can know whatever

959
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 4: you're going to do out there, but don't bring anything

960
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 4: near our child, and don't bring anything in the house anyone.

961
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:14,399
Speaker 1: Good.

962
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 2: That's how that's nice because I would have even said,

963
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 2: you can say, let's not let's both put that on

964
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: pause until we leave the house, like I would have. Yeah,

965
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 2: so that's already good. Listen, you're more scared of what

966
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 2: your reaction might be than what it is gonna happen.

967
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: Once you see your ex soon to be X with

968
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 2: another person, you're gonna be over it. It's the anticipation

969
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 2: of that moment that is bigger than that moment.

970
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 5: Tell that to Betty Broderick, Chelsea, tell that to Betty.

971
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: Well for for for normal fucking people. Okay, because I wanted.

972
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 5: To drive a car over Billy when I got on

973
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 5: his phone, So it triggers everyone generally. But he happens

974
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 5: to be more evolved.

975
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 2: But I'm saying this with this head start that they have,

976
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 2: they've already agreed to go. They're separate ways. It's not

977
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,240
Speaker 2: like you're finding him with some woman in the middle

978
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 2: of a marriage. This is a much different scenario, right.

979
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 2: This is you coming into your own. This is like

980
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: the age of your enlightenment. You know, keep reading books

981
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: like Letting Go, keep investing in your spirituality and your steadiness,

982
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 2: because those are going to be the tools that you

983
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: need when you feel like you're going to fly off

984
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: the handle or get jealous, or react to something in

985
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 2: a way that you're going to regret. All of that

986
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 2: is in spirituality, right. They give you all this information

987
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: about how to control yourself, not in a religious way,

988
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 2: not in a way that they're indoctrinating you, in a

989
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: way that you're a more healthy human balance being right, Yeah,

990
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: where you know your self worth, You have a connection

991
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 2: with yourself, You have a relationship with yourself. And I

992
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,919
Speaker 2: think that you're anticipating all these things and the fact

993
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: that you're talking about it and being proactive about it.

994
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 2: I think you're going to be just fine. This is

995
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 2: going to be a huge growth opportunity for you and

996
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 2: your world is about to begin in a whole new way.

997
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 2: Oh why did you leave a church?

998
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 1: What happened? You didn't like that religion?

999
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 4: It was incorrect, it was not true. No, I converted

1000
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 4: as a teenager and then I went to BUYU and

1001
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 4: right after marrying my husband, I transferred to schools, and

1002
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 4: at BUYU they force you to, like stud you have

1003
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 4: to take religion classes every semester. And it was two

1004
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 4: weeks into my first semester that I was like, I'm sorry,

1005
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 4: what do I believe? Because I don't think that's right.

1006
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 4: And I've just always I was raised by people who

1007
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 4: are like southern California spiritualists, and I was not raised

1008
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,720
Speaker 4: in this church. And then I had some really close

1009
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 4: friends at BUYU who sort of came out and were saying, like,

1010
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 4: they're just gonna live celibate and they were going to

1011
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 4: stay in the church and they didn't want their sexuality

1012
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 4: to come between them and God. And I just saw,

1013
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 4: I mean, they have every right to do whatever they want,

1014
00:44:56,160 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 4: but like seeing somebody sacrifice their happiness, I just oh,

1015
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't just like be a cafeteria Mormon.

1016
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: I have to leave.

1017
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 4: It's not gonna I get it.

1018
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 5: I get it totally so and that alone takes so

1019
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 5: much strength, and like you already know that you have

1020
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 5: like the hood spots to like, yeah, that's it's through this,

1021
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 5: you know, and so it's in you. I mean not

1022
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 5: to make it about me, but I married a man

1023
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 5: with money, and I thought I got in the golden ticket.

1024
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 5: I helped him support whatever, and that you kind of

1025
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 5: feel like you pay your dues and then you get

1026
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 5: to sit pretty for the rest of your life and

1027
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 5: there's no such thing. It feels different, it spends different,

1028
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 5: like earn it yourself, find out what you want to do,

1029
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 5: and not live on a stipend or a doll from anybody,

1030
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 5: you know, because it doesn't matter. The second I decided

1031
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 5: that it was me, I wasn't going to find some

1032
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 5: night to fix it. I was so much happier, and

1033
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 5: I was like forty and fat and like all the

1034
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,879
Speaker 5: things you know, and it just you don't know what

1035
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 5: you can do until you're forced to do it. So

1036
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 5: let it motivate you, you know, instead of being angry that

1037
00:45:58,080 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 5: he has it all and you gave it to him,

1038
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 5: get it for yourself.

1039
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 2: Listen, and there's a bigger purpose that you can't see, right,

1040
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: there is a bigger purpose. Yes, you helped him, and

1041
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,720
Speaker 2: you helped his career and you helped him get settled.

1042
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: Great, that's great, that's good karma.

1043
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 2: You wiped somebody come into their own and now he's

1044
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: gonna be he can help you with your kid for

1045
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: the rest of your life.

1046
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: He's going to be responsible like that.

1047
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 2: That isn't something to say, Oh I can't believe it

1048
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 2: or be angry about.

1049
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: That's good vibes.

1050
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 5: That's the father of your baby.

1051
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 1: As long as you don't hold it over his head,

1052
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 1: it's good vibes.

1053
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,280
Speaker 3: And to get biblical about it, like, leave tomorrow's problems

1054
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 3: for tomorrow. We'll only worry about what we need today.

1055
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 3: I'm bringing it twelve years of question school.

1056
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 5: I mean that that makes.

1057
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 1: Roota or not. I feel like all religions should be represented.

1058
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 5: We need a she I'm sitzeeing here.

1059
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 2: Is there a sheep in the house? Okay, so Meg,

1060
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 2: I have a question for you.

1061
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: What do you do for a living?

1062
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 4: This is the only time in my career I've been

1063
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 4: completely unemployed, so it's kind of bad timing there. But

1064
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 4: I have a teaching license. I'm a public school teacher.

1065
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 1: Oh great, so nice.

1066
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,959
Speaker 4: Yes, what you always say about having kids is totally correct. Though,

1067
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 4: now that I have one of my own, I don't

1068
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 4: have the bandwidth to go back into America's public school system,

1069
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 4: especially in the schools where I was working. I mean

1070
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 4: Chicago Public schools and in Aurora, Colorado, Like I've been

1071
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 4: working in places that I haven't worked in easy schools,

1072
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 4: and it was really rewarding and I learned a lot

1073
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 4: and I failed a lot. But I'm looking now to

1074
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,479
Speaker 4: pivot to use what I've learned in a way that's

1075
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,800
Speaker 4: not classroom teaching, just because when you have young kids

1076
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 4: of your own, absorbing thirty kids, everything every day is

1077
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 4: just a.

1078
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 2: Lot, right, So are you thinking about tutoring or something

1079
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 2: like that.

1080
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I am looking at a master's program where

1081
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 4: I can become a dyslexia therapist, or my real reach

1082
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 4: would be a clinical psychology masters and eventual PhD, because

1083
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 4: I would love to do counseling, Like that's the best

1084
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 4: part of teaching, is doing the emotional work.

1085
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 1: When we get off Google.

1086
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 2: There was an article on the Sunday New York Times

1087
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: about psychoanalysis and the optick and the people who are

1088
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 2: training to be psychoanalysts, and it was about Freud, but

1089
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 2: it talks about like the offshoots and all these people.

1090
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 2: Now it's a real rising field all psychology. So yeah,

1091
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: so that sounds good. Okay, well you're all set listen,

1092
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 2: You're fucking beautiful.

1093
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 5: You're not the only fans I suggest the only fans I.

1094
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: Suggested to you, Heather, I suggested it for you. I'll

1095
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: do it.

1096
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 5: Sure, let's see how many subscribers.

1097
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 2: But Meg, for sure, Meg, you're gonna be This is

1098
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: going to be a great life for you.

1099
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm almost jealous.

1100
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 5: Same same.

1101
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 4: Thanks perspective.

1102
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you got any advice?

1103
00:48:58,760 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 4: Yes?

1104
00:48:59,280 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 5: I do.

1105
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 4: I do want to ask Color something. So he's currently

1106
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 4: like he doesn't want to be a bad guy, and

1107
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 4: he's very much like, well, you'll stay legally married to

1108
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 4: me as long as you want. You can stay on

1109
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 4: my health insurance. We can split the money. And that's

1110
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 4: I think, very generous. While I'm getting on my speech,

1111
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 4: but I really don't want to do that thing, like

1112
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 4: that golden ticket thing that you're talking about, So like,

1113
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 4: just listen.

1114
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:25,399
Speaker 5: That was a lot of bullshit what I was just saying.

1115
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,919
Speaker 5: If they're willing to pay, take the money, but take

1116
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 5: the money, but don't bank on the money. Take the

1117
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 5: money like it's a scholarship or it's invested. It's seed

1118
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 5: money to become the person you want to.

1119
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 3: Be, independent, transitional money.

1120
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 2: It's a great way to think about it. Because you're

1121
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 2: after a while. You're not gonna want his money anyway.

1122
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 2: You're gonna want your own independence, but you're.

1123
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 5: Gonna want money. If he's taking his new girlfriend and

1124
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 5: living in a mansion on a doctor's thing and you're

1125
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 5: doing the school thing, it's gonna it's gonna great for

1126
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 5: the rest of your life. So fight hard now with

1127
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 5: a good attorney, without being angry, but just knowing that

1128
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 5: you can be nice to the of your life when

1129
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,280
Speaker 5: he's got the MD salary and you're you know, working

1130
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,919
Speaker 5: with the kids reading program. Just try to balance out

1131
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 5: and make sure you just preserve your peace at all costs.

1132
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 5: Don't bet Rebroaderick because that's pretty much what I go

1133
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 5: to on everything, and that didn't work out well for her.

1134
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 5: So don't drive your suburban through his front door when

1135
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 5: he's with his new girlfriend.

1136
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 2: So that's how about just don't drive a suburban because

1137
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 2: the world is melted.

1138
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 5: Listen, she has a backgrounded Mormonism. A suburban is at

1139
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,240
Speaker 5: the top of her list.

1140
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 4: But now I only have to have one child, So

1141
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 4: there there you go.

1142
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: You're saving the planet. Congratulations, Thank you for that. Yes,

1143
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: thank you, Megan, was nice to speak with you. Thanks

1144
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 2: for calling in.

1145
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,720
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. You guys are amazing.

1146
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 1: Take care, Thank you bye.

1147
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 3: She and I had just talked on the phone before,

1148
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 3: not on a zoom call, and so that was a

1149
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 3: whole fun surprise to find out she's just fully gorgeous.

1150
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: Like Hollywood ready, Oh my god. I was looking at

1151
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: her like, oh oh you're beautiful.

1152
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 5: I'd like to hire you.

1153
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 2: Yes, you guys, this podcast is about feelings, okay, not looks.

1154
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 2: So let's sorry, take it downny.

1155
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 5: Beauty is currency.

1156
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 3: So we'll take a quick break and we'll be right

1157
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 3: back to close out.

1158
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 1: And we're back.

1159
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 3: Well, okay, so we can quickly get Alisa laid. Her

1160
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 3: question is get her laid? She needs to get laid.

1161
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: She's newly divorced, so.

1162
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 5: No experience in this. I'll try, she says.

1163
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, my sex drive is high, my trust in people.

1164
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 1: Wait one second, Heather, you've had sex since your divorce?

1165
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 5: Right, Yes, yes, I'm going to launch full And I

1166
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,439
Speaker 5: was just saying, like, it's not my forte getting laid,

1167
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 5: but I'll work on it.

1168
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: Got it.

1169
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 3: Well, I'll just kind of skim over this and she's

1170
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,800
Speaker 3: going to join us here. She's intimidated by on line dating,

1171
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 3: she doesn't really know the etiquette. She does want to

1172
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 3: go out there and start having like one night stands

1173
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 3: or hooking up with guys, but she's not totally sure

1174
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 3: how to go about it. So she says, how do

1175
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 3: I have casual sex when I can't make the first move? Alisa?

1176
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 4: Hi?

1177
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: Lisa?

1178
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 5: Hi, Lisa, I like your style first casual sex girl,

1179
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 5: Let's talk about it.

1180
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,720
Speaker 1: Heather Gay is our special guest today.

1181
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 2: So that's Heather. This is Catherine, I'm me Hi, Hi,

1182
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: How are you good?

1183
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 5: Thank you?

1184
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 2: So you're looking to get some action, First of all,

1185
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: you should use dating sites because that's the quickest way

1186
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 2: to make that happen. Unless you're just gonna go walk

1187
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:42,439
Speaker 2: down the street to the bar and pick up a guy.

1188
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: That's great.

1189
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 2: But if you're embarrassed about making a first move, is

1190
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 2: that what it is?

1191
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 1: Are you scared?

1192
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 2: I got a little shy around boys too sometimes if

1193
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 2: I like them, Yeah, making the first move.

1194
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 6: Like I was, I socialized a lot when I was younger,

1195
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,280
Speaker 6: but these days, I'm kind of more of an introvert

1196
00:52:58,280 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 6: and a homebody.

1197
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,839
Speaker 5: So, well, you're not going to get laid at home.

1198
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 5: You got to get out, I know, I.

1199
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 2: Know, so actually you'll get laid at home, but.

1200
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:11,879
Speaker 6: Eventually, Yeah. So I've joined some hiking groups and oh

1201
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 6: good of things that I enjoyed doing. And I'm new

1202
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 6: to this province in Canada too, so I've been like

1203
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 6: going to my favorite bar, sitting at the bar, reading

1204
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 6: a book, getting a drink.

1205
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 1: Yes, I like that. That's hot. Reading a book at

1206
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: the bar and the city behavior.

1207
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 5: I love it.

1208
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1209
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 6: I just find with the social sites, you know, you

1210
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 6: have to sift through like so much, and then I

1211
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,320
Speaker 6: don't know what words to use and how to communicate

1212
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 6: with people on these dating sites, and then I'm very

1213
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 6: much like I like to get a vibe. So I

1214
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 6: don't know, I just find them difficult.

1215
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 3: Well, there are certain apps that you can use if

1216
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 3: you are more interested in just hooking up.

1217
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: Field is one.

1218
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 3: There's a few other ones that are specifically for like

1219
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 3: they're more like hookupy. But also I think people are

1220
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 3: using Bumble, Like I have a couple of friends who

1221
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,720
Speaker 3: are in an open marriage and they're like, we use bumble,

1222
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 3: So you know.

1223
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:08,760
Speaker 1: I think you should.

1224
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 2: I think you should get on sites, get on a couple,

1225
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 2: you know, like bumble Hinge is like reputable, right, and

1226
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 2: that's the other there's another new one. Not Tinder is

1227
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 2: like a little bits old.

1228
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: That's too much.

1229
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, plenty of fish. There's plenty of fish still poppiners.

1230
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,840
Speaker 1: That that's from that's from the seventies. Also, howther I

1231
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 1: don't Yeah.

1232
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,760
Speaker 6: I don't. I definitely don't want to discount that idea.

1233
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 6: I also live in a small town, so I've just

1234
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 6: the pool is pretty small.

1235
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to be online.

1236
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 2: It's the best way to get the most options as

1237
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:41,320
Speaker 2: quickly as possible.

1238
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: Right, It's the most efficient way to start dating or

1239
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: start fooling.

1240
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 2: Around with somebody. Like whatever it is you're after, that's

1241
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 2: the way to do it. I love that you're going

1242
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 2: to a bar reading a book by yourself at the bar.

1243
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: Fucking awesome. Keep doing that.

1244
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 2: Join your groups, join another group, like instead of a

1245
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,919
Speaker 2: hiking group. You know, Canadians love to do what else

1246
00:54:58,960 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 2: do they like?

1247
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: They like to fi? I should stay away from.

1248
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 5: That and drink beer.

1249
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 3: See I'm imagining her like going down to the docks

1250
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,840
Speaker 3: and having like a hot fisherman with like big muscle.

1251
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:15,800
Speaker 1: Muscle are no hot fishermen and dies, but go ahead, Lisa.

1252
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, the ragged guys for sure, the oil riggers.

1253
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what you think you're saying when you

1254
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 1: say you don't know what words to use.

1255
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 2: Like you mean like the trendy language that's going around,

1256
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 2: or abbreviations and stuff like that, Like, what do you

1257
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 2: mean by that?

1258
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 6: Well, I was chatting with this guy online on bumble

1259
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 6: years ago and he messaged me, and then I wasn't

1260
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 6: the next person to message him, Like the etiquette, you know,

1261
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 6: it's like I didn't message him back, so then you

1262
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 6: just never.

1263
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,240
Speaker 5: Messaged me again.

1264
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 2: Oh well, don't worry. That's going to happen all the

1265
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 2: time online that there is no etiquette. You know, it's

1266
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 2: your etiquette is whatever you decide it's going to be.

1267
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 2: But you should practice just being forward with people, like,

1268
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 2: you know, do you want to have a drink?

1269
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: Do you want to meet for a drink?

1270
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,759
Speaker 2: You should definitely meet them for a drink before you

1271
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:58,919
Speaker 2: invite anyone to your house.

1272
00:55:58,920 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 1: Please don't do that.

1273
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 2: Or meet for you know, whatever you're into. I mean,

1274
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 2: I'm into drinks, so that's what I'm going to meet for.

1275
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,759
Speaker 2: But you know, listen, you're online. Who gives a shit

1276
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: you don't care if you ever see these fucking people again.

1277
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,280
Speaker 1: It's the perfect way to be a little bit.

1278
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 2: More daring, and then with that will come you being

1279
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 2: more daring in real life, you know.

1280
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, you hide behind the screen a little bit.

1281
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 5: And also, might I suggest they've made a song into

1282
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 5: Adam Levine's sexteen and he's really good at it, like

1283
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 5: little things to say like you're so hot, amazing, like

1284
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 5: he knows how to sex amazing.

1285
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, just say that to anything, amazing.

1286
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:37,800
Speaker 5: Just whatever Adam Levine said when he was sexty people

1287
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 5: on the side. I think that's a great playbook to

1288
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 5: pull from, honestly.

1289
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 6: Okay, thank you. I also was like, I've been tuning

1290
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 6: in and bought a really good vibrator, so yeah.

1291
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 1: That's also good. What do you need today for?

1292
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 2: I know you well know that's good to get everything

1293
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 2: ready for your days, keep it moving, and.

1294
00:56:58,600 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 1: It helps to have that practice.

1295
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,760
Speaker 3: I do think, you know, you get out of practice

1296
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,320
Speaker 3: with that stuff, even for yourself.

1297
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I'm revealing too much. I don't I don't

1298
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about.

1299
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 2: Because a vibrator, I mean, how do you have to

1300
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:11,720
Speaker 2: practice with a vibrator.

1301
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: It's just just.

1302
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 5: Like small talk with your vibrator.

1303
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 1: Put it where it's supposed to go, and.

1304
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 5: Then it it's just a new tool.

1305
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 1: Are vibrator? Are you like?

1306
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 3: I mean, just like the frequency when you get out

1307
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 3: of practice, it's like you don't care about it anymore.

1308
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: But oh right, okay, and that's sound. Yeah, yes, I.

1309
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 6: Feel like if I have a vibe like I don't

1310
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not like super attached or craving having

1311
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 6: this like strong craving And.

1312
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 1: Yeah that's smart. I like that angle. That's true.

1313
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 2: That way, you're not like, yeah, you just masturbate before

1314
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 2: every date. Also, so you don't have to be super

1315
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 2: super duper horny unless you need to be, and then

1316
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: you can whip that up again.

1317
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 5: Anyway, sometimes you need the horny to motivate you to

1318
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 5: be a little bit more forward. You know, you got

1319
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,439
Speaker 5: to balance it. You want it to razor's edge.

1320
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 3: Really, see, how do I know you'd have an advice?

1321
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 1: Tous edge really is what it is.

1322
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, give her just a little, but not too much. Amore?

1323
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 3: All right, Alisa, tell us when you get laid Okay, yes.

1324
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 5: I'll tell you how it goes.

1325
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 3: Okay, bye bye, Well you guys, solved all of her

1326
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 3: problems so fast.

1327
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 1: That was great.

1328
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 5: I just want to have like an advice show. This

1329
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 5: is like, it's motivating me. All the tips and tricks.

1330
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that we're just pulling out of our asses.

1331
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: People are very trustworthy. All right, Well we are wrapping

1332
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: things up. Yeah, I mean that was an hour. What

1333
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 1: a fun hour, Heather, that.

1334
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 5: Was a fun hour. You guys, I had the best time.

1335
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 1: Awesome.

1336
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much.

1337
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 1: And guys, yeah, we'll talk so okay, take care of that.

1338
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 5: I loved it. Thanks guys, appreciate bye, take care bye.

1339
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 2: And her book is called Bad Mormon, which you guys

1340
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 2: can pick up wherever you like to buy your books,

1341
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 2: hopefully at a local bookstore.

1342
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,959
Speaker 3: Yes, and I will have a link in the show

1343
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 3: notes as well. I actually all of our links to

1344
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 3: our books that I put in the show notes go

1345
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,920
Speaker 3: to bookshop dot org, which also donates. It's like an

1346
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: alternative to Amazon, but they donate to local bookshops.

1347
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so it gets to like order online. I

1348
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: love that. Yeah. Tabulous support books everybody. Okay, we love books.

1349
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 2: And I have just announced new stand updates for my

1350
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 2: Little Big Bitch tour. Guys, I announced twenty five new cities.

1351
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 2: These are probably a lot of the cities people have

1352
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 2: been mentioning in the comments. I start out in East Hampton.

1353
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 2: I go to New York, d C, Duram, North Carolina, LA, Phoenix, Cleveland, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Chicago, Madison, Portland,

1354
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 2: to name just some. I will be performing at the

1355
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 2: Kennedy Center everybody that's in DC October sixth. I'm super

1356
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 2: psyched to be performing there. Also exciting announcement for this week.

1357
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 2: I just added second shows in New York, DC.

1358
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 1: Seattle, and San Francisco.

1359
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 2: So today's pre sale still so that code is little,

1360
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 2: and then general on sale starts tomorrow. Okay, yes, and

1361
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 2: I'll see everybody this weekend. I'll be in Bangor, Maine, Wallingford, Connecticut, and.

1362
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: Manicchello, New York. There are more.

1363
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 2: I have tour dates coming up for the next three months,

1364
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 2: and then more dates coming up in the fall.

1365
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: So those have all been announced. They're on my Instagram

1366
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: page or you can go to Chelsea Hamma dot com.

1367
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1368
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:38,600
Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1369
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1370
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 3: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1371
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 3: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

1372
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1373
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 3: com