WEBVTT - JENNIFER PERRY 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:07.480 Here we are back again with another wonderful episode of 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:12.119 Love Someone, our podcast that I do uh in the 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:17.960 hopes that I will inspire you to use your energy 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.280 to change the world. That's the goal anyway, to share 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:26.320 information and to invite guests that are doing just that, 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:29.720 changing the world, making the world a better place. My 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:34.040 guest today is just such a person, Jennifer Perry. Jennifer 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:39.560 is the executive director of the Children's Action Network. Children's 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:44.840 Action Network CAN. Since its inception, by marshaling the immense 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:50.239 communication power of the entertainment community they're based in l A, 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:54.440 CAN inspires the public to take action on behalf of 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.640 kids CAN. Children's Action Network is now involved in a 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:04.440 national campaign devoted to raising awareness of the one hundred 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:08.600 and seven thousand children in this country who are legally 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:13.000 free waiting for adoptive homes, and they help to improve 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:15.720 the outcomes for almost a half a million kids in 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:19.919 foster care. Jennifer is also the co founder of Foster More, 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:25.720 a coalition of media and entertainment companies, nonprofits, businesses, philanthropic 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:32.160 organizations working together to create greater understanding, greater empathy and 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:37.039 action to improve the future of kids in foster care. 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:41.679 Foster More shines a light on the accomplishments and potential 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:45.880 of foster youth while helping to secure support for their 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:51.040 academic success and helping to create a pipeline of potential 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:55.120 foster parents. We have a big shortage of foster parents 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.760 in this country. Under her stewardship, Can has received an 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.680 Adoption Excellent Award from the U S Department of Health 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.400 and Human Services and a Television Academy Honors for a 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:11.480 Home for the Holidays. Can's annual special promoting foster care adoption. 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:15.079 Not only does she talk the talks, she walks the walk. 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:19.359 Jennifer and her husband Andy are the adoring adoptive parents 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:23.320 of two daughters. We're gonna pause right now. We're going 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.360 to learn more and talk to Jennifer in a moment, 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.520 but we're going to pause right now to hear from 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:31.280 one of our fabulous sponsor who is making this podcast possible. 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:36.079 This podcast is sponsored by a company making a wonderful 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:40.680 product designed to help grow and strengthen hair. 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Not only does neutrafole help 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:31.600 transform your hair, it helps restore confidence as it works, 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:37.200 growing thicker, healthier hair with the help of Neutraful. Neutraful 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:42.040 neutra f o l dot com into promo code Hope 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:46.760 and save off your first month subscription. This is their 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.880 best offer anywhere and you'll receive free shipping. To get 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:55.320 off at neutraful dot com spelled in U t R 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:59.400 A f O L neutra fold dot com use the 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:03.840 promo code Hope. This offer is available for US consumers 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:09.120 for a limited time only. Hello Jennifer, Welcome to Love Someone. 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.800 I am so grateful, Thank you for being with us 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.800 on this podcast. You know that foster care and adoptive 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:20.760 programs and adoptive kids and building families is more than 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.800 the near and dear to my heart, right, yeah, I do. 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.760 I do. It's remarkable what you've done in the incredible 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:32.159 family that you've built. So yes, I I do know that. Well, 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:34.520 you know what I find remarkable. I have a lot 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:37.479 of resources. I'm very blessed. I have a lot of 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:44.480 resources my career. My situation allows me to have resources 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:48.800 that most people don't. I have a nanny housekeeper that 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:51.240 helps me with the young ones and helps me with 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.159 the laundry, and I can pay tutors to help my 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:59.000 older kids. What amazes me is people like my friend 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.680 Jan she has two adult daughters that are building their 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:07.800 families through foster kids and adoption and foster to adopt 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.479 and long term foster placements. And they don't have the 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:15.320 resources I have. They're doing it all on their own, 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:19.040 and they're doing an amazing job. I'm like, oh my gosh, 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.240 you wear me out just thinking about all the hats 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.599 that you have to wear. I'm so proud of men 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:29.120 and women who don't have the resources that I have 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.599 and still are willing to step up to the plate 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.760 and raise their hand and say I'll do it. I'll 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.400 love a child in need that takes a special kind 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.839 of hero it has and I couldn't agree more. You know, 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.839 I really feel that foster parents are the unsung heroes 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.599 of America because here are people that step up and say, 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:52.159 you know, I want to give a child what I 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.520 can give them, love, support, stability. I want to help 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.200 them realize their potential. And they are taking a child, 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.600 you know, the they've barely ever met, into their own home, 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.240 making a pledge to that child, sometimes a short term, 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.279 sometimes a lifetime pledge. It is a remarkable thing to 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:13.280 step up and do. And I truly feel that we 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:16.960 should create some kind of a mechanism to seeing the 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.680 phrases that these foster parents get them the support they 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:23.960 need and recognize the extraordinary work to your point that 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:27.800 everyday people are doing every day on behalf of you 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:32.159 within foster care. So walk us through how does a 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:36.400 child end up in our foster care system? How? How 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:39.279 I mean we got almost five hundred thousand kids in 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.720 foster care? How did they get there? A child goes 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:46.720 into foster care when an adult in their life. It 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.800 can be a teacher, a doctor, or a neighbor, a 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.760 friend is concerned that they are in danger um that 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.680 that their their lives may be at risk given their 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:03.240 home situation, and frequently that danger arises from substance abuse 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.080 on the part of the parents. We've sadly seen an 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:10.080 uptick in use in foster care because of the opioid crisis. 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.200 And when someone is concerned, they alert the authorities and 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:16.360 they come to investigate, and if the authorities deemed that 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.160 the child is in danger or at risk, they are 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:22.960 removed from the homes and placed with a foster parent 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:27.560 or in an emergency foster platement until the situation can 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:31.520 be assessed. And it's always important to remember that a 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:35.280 child is placed in foster care through no faults of 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:39.280 their own. Uh, they've been in a dangerous situation and removed, 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.760 and you know, the hope is always to reunite that 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:46.040 child with their parents. That doesn't always happen, but that 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.840 is always That is the first step in foster care 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.840 is to say, are these parents, if they're given more 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:55.160 support and wrap around services, will they be able to 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.520 get their lives together so that they can support and 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.680 take care of their kids. So you've been at this 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:06.240 a while how has foster care or kids in foster care, 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.320 how has it changed. I got my first foster license 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:14.360 in eight six and everything has changed since then. What 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:17.960 do you see some of the biggest changes are I 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:22.080 think one of the biggest wholesale changes has been a 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:26.840 tremendous uptick and awareness about youth in the foster care system. 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.600 They truly truly lived in the shadows UM at the 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:34.199 time when you first went on your journey UM, people 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.840 just did not know about using foster care. They had misperceptions, 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:41.920 misconceptions about the youth. And what's happened, thanks to the 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:43.880 work of many, many good groups over the last twenty 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:47.760 or so years, is there's a tremendous optick and awareness 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.640 about youth in foster care and hence to the services 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.319 and supports that are needed. And some of the changes 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:57.240 are small but so important. For a long time, when 0:08:57.320 --> 0:09:00.280 children replaced in foster care, there wasn't a concerned to 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.560 keep siblings together. Then there was a recognition that children 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:07.120 will rive more if they are, you know, have a 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.239 sibling that goes into foster care with them some semblance 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.360 of their former family. And that's a small change. At 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:16.360 the larger level, two there's been a much greater recognition 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.600 of what happens to the youth who leave foster care 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.960 when they age out at eighteen or twenty one, depending 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:25.120 on the states they're in. There was not a lot 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.760 of awareness about the outcome for those youths, which were 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.800 not good, somewhat dire in fact, and a lot more 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:35.719 services have been created to support that particular part of 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:40.000 the foster youth population. So how many states now continue 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:43.040 to support kids till they're twenty one? That is a 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.319 good question. I honestly don't need answer how many states? 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.920 It's a growing number, and uh, I don't know. I'm 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:51.440 happy to get back to you. Um, I don't know. 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.080 If aout my head. Well, last time I checked, it 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.680 was like twelve, and in most states that's what the 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.920 foster care system does still to this day. Okay, you're eighteen, 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.560 you're out of our jurisdiction. By you're on your own. 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:06.880 That is correct. And if you think about a child 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:11.080 who grew up in a supportive family, no one says 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.280 them an agent can see later, you know, go forth 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.040 and prosper um. So you can imagine a youth who 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.680 has had a traumatic childhood hasn't been mentored, hasn't learned 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.360 all of the basic sort of life skills that you 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:27.080 do sometimes just by watching a parent or supportive adults. Uh. 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.840 So the move to continue to support youth in foster 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:34.520 care to age twenty one and even even past that. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.280 There are some areas that are looking at up to 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:41.280 the age of six. We know so much more about 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:44.520 the way you brains developed and their coping skills, and 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:48.000 how someblars aren't fully developed into late six. And also 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:51.439 because fosters use typically end up a couple of years 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:55.200 behind at an academic level, it takes them longer to 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:58.440 get through the education process, so we need to continue 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.800 to support them this they pursue higher education as they 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:05.959 get older. So uh, there's twelve million reasons it's it's 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:10.080 vitally important to support this youth population. So, Jennifer, what 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:14.280 is Foster More? Tell me about your organization? How did 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:19.480 you birth this? What what inspired you? What? What was 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.360 that aha moment where you said, you know what, I 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.880 can use my gifts and talents and skills and I 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.960 can change the world for these kids. Tell me about 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.560 Foster More and and how that was born. I've been 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:35.720 working in the foster care Arena quite some time an 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.120 organization cult Children's actually network that has a number of 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.880 projects that worked to improve outcomes for youth and foster care, 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:46.880 and we came to the growing realization that a significant 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.640 part of making a difference for these youths was shifting 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:53.840 attitudes and perceptions, was making people realize that youth and 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:58.240 foster care are the epitome of resilience. They are a 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:02.319 resource and a need all the supports we can give 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.360 them to thrive and prosper. And we realized in order 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.360 to do that, in order to change mind and move 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:12.760 the needles on people's perceptions and awareness, we had to 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:17.080 launch a broad scale public awareness campaign aimed at moving 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:20.079 hearts and mind, enabling people to really see who these 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.000 youth are. So that was the sort of the core 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.880 of our Foster More effort, and we launched a broad 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:30.360 scale public awareness campaign again aimed at saying youth and 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:35.640 foster care are resilient and will strive if they're given 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.480 the supports they need. One of our first p s 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.400 a S was called I am Amazing and was about 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.120 this that foster you're talking about. I am amazing. I 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:46.920 need I just need an adult to guide me along 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:49.960 the way to realize who I am. So over the 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:54.439 past several years, we have continued this broad scale public 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.200 awarness campaign and one of the things that drove it, 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.760 I'm sorry this was a long answer, but we had 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:04.280 that in the general public attitudes about youth in foster care, 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.280 people either didn't know who they were or they had 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:11.000 misperceptions that I've referenced. And we did focus groups and 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.440 it was very interesting because it shows that at a 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.080 free focus groups, no one even knew a foster parents 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:20.080 and their attitudes about foster youth they were scared of them. 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:24.920 And it really drove this campaign to shift the paradigm 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.240 and get people to think entirely different about foster youth, 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:31.760 because that's the only way that people thinking differently that 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.880 people are going to step up and assist these youth 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:37.800 and the resources are going to be directed towards the youth. 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:44.000 We have also realized that there is a pressing need 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:48.480 for foster parents, particularly wonderful ones like yourself. And as 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.200 you well know, um, the number of youth and foster 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.600 care greatly exceeds the number of foster parents. So since 0:13:54.640 --> 0:14:00.160 Foster More is a coalition of entertainment philanthropic business. We 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:04.840 knew we could turn our entertainment skills and resources into 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.520 a campaign to recruit foster parents. So that's one of 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.080 the other driving peoples of foster More. It's a conjurity 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.520 campaign to recruit foster parents so that we address the 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:17.320 pressing needs for those within the system. I think the 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:21.240 good news is when you start to tell the story 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:24.640 of these youths and you tell people who they really 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:28.480 are and what our duty and obligation as human beings 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.760 is to these youths, people want to engage. How many 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:37.120 kids have you fostered? I have fostered two kids, and 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:42.200 we entered this process to be truly foster parents. It 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:46.080 was when l A had a huge uptick and youth 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.280 from foster Carretti this is in the same place now, 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.640 and we really felt that there was a place where 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.360 we could and wanted to step up. And as state 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.760 would have it, we ended up adopting our girls. We 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.080 met them at five and and we initially rest with 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:05.040 Parence Jennifer, We're gonna come back in just a moment. 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:06.520 We are going to take a break here for one 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.840 of our sponsors. We're gonna come back and we're going 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.760 to talk about how to become involved, what that looks like, 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.080 and give some people some directions. So we'll be right 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:20.320 back talking with Jennifer, the co founder of Foster More, 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:24.920 a coalition of media and entertainment companies who care about kids. 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:28.840 Coming right out, want in on a secret of keeping 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:33.160 your kids busy with a fun project from Annie's Young 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:37.520 Woodworkers Kid Club, the sponsor of this podcast. 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It's the perfect 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.320 window of opportunity to pass on a love for woodworking. 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:23.840 Visit Young Woodworkers dot com slash love for fifty off. 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:31.160 That's Young Woodworkers dot com slash love for fifty percent off. Jennifer, 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.320 Welcome back to love someone with the Lionel. We're going 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.200 to talk about what does it take. If somebody is 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.960 listening and says, you know what, my kids went off 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.800 to college and I kind of have an empty nest syndrome, 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:46.680 maybe I could maybe I could foster. Or maybe somebody says, 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.160 I'm a single mom and I've got one son and 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.440 he would like a sibling. Maybe I could do foster 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:55.080 care or do a foster to adopt. What is a 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:59.960 foster parent and where do they start? A foster parents 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:03.760 truly anyone with love in their hearts who wants to 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:07.280 bring a kid into their life and nurture them and 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:11.840 provide them stability and provide them a better future. That 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.639 can be that couple that you just mentioned whose children 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:17.560 have gone off to college they're feeling like they're empty nesters. 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.760 It can be a single woman. Uh. The foster care 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:26.679 system is really open to anyone who has the desire, 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.920 the willingness, and the heart to be a foster parent. 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:35.280 The process itself is you go to whatever the local 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:39.199 agency is in your locality and you take classes for 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:42.280 roughly six state weeks and the classes are really to 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:45.640 help you to help prepare you for this journey which 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.000 is new and different for many people. And then you 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:54.040 have a home study basically a way for those workers 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.240 to come out to your home and assess that it's 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:59.840 safe for a child to be there. Okay, So so now, 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:03.359 at least in the state I'm in, because of COVID, 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:07.520 they've they've moved the foster classes online. I don't know 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:09.640 if that's a nationwide thing. I don't know if that's 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:14.560 changing because the COVID situation is opening back up. But 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:18.320 I have to say, Jennifer that I thought I was 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:22.680 going to hate the classes, but I loved I loved 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.480 them because I got to meet other people who were 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.880 like minded, and I formed friendships back in the eighties 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:31.359 the first time I got my foster license that I 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:36.440 still have today because of those classes. That's pretty wonderful. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:39.000 And know, the classes are a great bonding experience, and 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:42.399 they're also it's wonderful to look around that room. Have 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:44.840 you taken the classes myself a million years ago, to 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.760 look around that room and see just how many different 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:52.080 people are about to embark on this journey with you, 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:55.480 And it's equally important as you meant and to form 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:59.280 those friendships, because being a foster parent is rewarding, but 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.919 it can be channel lunching and it's really wonderful to 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:05.439 have people you can bounce things off of, ask questions of. 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:07.600 In addition to the social workers and other people who 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:10.160 all come into your life but you know, to help 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.639 support you on this journey because it's an amazing journey, 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:17.240 but it's new for everybody, and it's really nice to 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.879 have a bulwark of you know, advice and support that 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:24.560 you can turn to. So the process is the classes, 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:29.040 the home study, and then after that's complete, what can 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:32.440 somebody expect? And one more piece of the process, just 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:36.080 so people know all the pieces. Um, you are life 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:40.199 scan and then what happens is you are in essence 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.880 waiting for a match or to meet a child. And 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:45.600 one of the things I want to say, because sometimes 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:49.440 people think going in that they can't articulate what they're 0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:54.600 comfortable with. Because some people are completely comfortable having four 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.560 kids in their home. Some people want younger kids, some 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:01.000 people want older kids. Um, it's okay to say that 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:03.520 to the agency and the social workers that you're working with, 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:05.760 to say, you know what, here's my comfort level, here 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:08.359 are my parameters, Here's what I feel I can take 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.479 on it's okay to say that. I got to interrupt 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:14.120 Jennifer and say not only is it okay, it's vitally 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:19.080 important because if you know that you are not built 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.280 to be changing diapers or heating up a bottle at 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:24.800 two o'clock in the morning, you need to speak up 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.120 and say, I'm excited to do this, but I really 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:31.000 only want a school aged child, or I really do 0:20:31.160 --> 0:20:34.280 best with toddlers, or right, I really would like to 0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:37.639 work with teens. You you have to be able to 0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:42.200 articulate that, otherwise you're gonna set yourself up for failure. Yeah, 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:46.160 exactly right. And you know there are so many teams 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:51.119 out there who are looking for stability and permanency. So 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:53.679 to your point, it's so great to think about and 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:58.080 consider teams because you know they're about to embark on 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:01.960 a really big life journey and having the support of 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:06.680 a family can make all the difference in their future. Um. 0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:09.640 And then after you've gone through that process and you've 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.439 articulated what your comfort level is, you are you're waiting. 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:15.880 You're waiting for a match, You're waiting for the call 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:19.520 from your social worker that says, you know, I have 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.879 a young boy, or I have whatever it is that 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:26.120 you've articulated and they are in need of a foster placement, 0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:30.080 and at that point in time, if it's a match 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:33.840 that works for you, that child will be placed in 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.320 your home. Uh. Sometimes there's not a lot of notice. 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:42.159 Sometimes there's more notice, and your journey will begin. I 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:45.360 think it's important to Lilas to also let people know 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:49.080 that you know, being a foster parent, you just you 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:52.800 also have to remember that the first goal when a 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:57.040 child goes into foster care is to reunify them with 0:21:57.200 --> 0:22:03.000 their biological parents. And it happened about a foster parents 0:22:03.080 --> 0:22:05.720 end up adopting the children that are placed with them, 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:08.639 So that gives you a sense reunification is not always possible. 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:12.600 It is the initial goal because it's so important for 0:22:12.640 --> 0:22:15.679 that child to retain that family bond if it's at 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:18.760 all possible. So I just think that's the thing that happens. 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:20.320 That the thing that a lot of people talk about. 0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:24.600 And every situation is different, uh, and children are in 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.919 different situations in terms of their families, so every foster 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:31.400 place and will will be different. And what I encourage people, 0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:34.159 Jennifer is if you want to adopt a child, if 0:22:34.160 --> 0:22:36.639 you know you want to build your family through adoption, 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:40.920 it's really important to tell your foster worker, I want 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:44.640 to do foster to adopt, and that way they are 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:48.040 actively searching for a child who is legally free, who 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.440 the courts have decided they're not going to be returned 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.680 to their bio family. They're legally free and you can 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:57.919 pursue adoption. Like in in the state i'm in, you 0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:01.359 do foster care for six months and at the end 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.840 of that six months, you can apply for adoption and 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:06.960 that can happen in a matter of weeks once the 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:09.960 six month period is up. A lot of people don't 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:13.480 know that foster to adopt is an option that if 0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:16.399 you state that upfront and you are working with a 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.399 good caseworker, you will be matched with children who are 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:23.760 legally free to adopt. That's such an important point back 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:26.800 to articulating, you know what your comfort level is in 0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:29.960 terms of the child and whether you are interested in 0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:33.520 adoption because the status of the children within the process 0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:36.760 is known. So if you do want to foster adopt, 0:23:36.800 --> 0:23:41.000 it's really important to stay that up front. Now, what 0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:44.840 if somebody is listening and they say, Delilah, I want 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.399 to help, I want to care. I just can't commit 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:52.080 to becoming a full time foster parent. What can they do? 0:23:52.280 --> 0:23:55.840 How can they help foster more or help point hope 0:23:55.840 --> 0:23:59.199 my my organization that works with foster kids, Jennifer. What 0:23:59.280 --> 0:24:02.080 would you say to the person who's kind of raising 0:24:02.119 --> 0:24:05.040 their hand but they know they cannot be a full 0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:09.399 time foster parent. Well, happily. There is a myriad of 0:24:09.400 --> 0:24:13.440 ways that people can help, and they run the gamut 0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:18.600 from helping to prepare special stuffle bags for children when 0:24:18.600 --> 0:24:22.040 they're placed into cluster care with essential needs. There's a 0:24:22.119 --> 0:24:25.439 number of organizations that's a wonderful work like that. You 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:29.840 can help with an agency that is providing care packages 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:33.040 for older use um. Remember that youth go into the 0:24:33.040 --> 0:24:36.840 system with almost nothing. So working with an organization that 0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:42.120 addresses offencil needs sometimes with older youth in particular, it's 0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:45.800