1 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about a strategy you can use when 4 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: you're facing disappointment. Don't get me wrong, disappointment always stings, 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: but this is one exercise that can give you a 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: lot more perspective about it. I recently heard a speech 7 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: on this topic from novelist Camille Pagan. She was talking 8 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: about her career, which from the outside appears to be charmed. 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: She writes a novel a year, most recently one called 10 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: I'm Fine and Neither Are You. Her novels are almost 11 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: always at the top of Amazon's charts for women's contemporary fiction. 12 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: She has been optioned by major film companies. Definitely good 13 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: stuff for a writer. So when she said in her 14 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,279 Speaker 1: speech that she wanted to talk about persistence and then 15 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: mentioned that her first novel, The Art of Forgetting, sold 16 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 1: for six figures at auction, I wondered where she was 17 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: going with this. This sounded more like a story of 18 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: constant success, not persistence, and maybe not too helpful for 19 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: the rest of us. But then, after telling us about 20 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,839 Speaker 1: the six figure book deal, she shared this that first novel, 21 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: she said, sold a grand total of a hundred and 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: three copies. It turns out that what happened is that 23 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: she released this novel with big hopes, but she knew 24 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: little about promoting books, and various other things went wrong too. 25 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: With the publisher investing so much money in this book 26 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: and with so little to show for it, she was 27 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: going to have a very hard time getting anyone in 28 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: the publishing industry to take a chance on her again. 29 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: She tried. She wrote a novel and then decided it 30 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: wasn't any good, so she trashed it. She wrote another novel, 31 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: it also wasn't going to work. Finally, many years after 32 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: that first novel, she had an idea for a book 33 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: that was called Life and Other Near Death Experiences. Her 34 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: agents sold it to a different publisher for a much 35 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: much smaller advance than that first book, but something clicked. 36 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: It's sold like crazy. Her new publisher wanted more work 37 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: for her, and she is now a happily productive career novelist. 38 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: I asked Camille how she'd been able to keep herself 39 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: going through those years where she looked like she was 40 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: going to be a one hit wonder. She said that 41 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: she wrote five year plans, and she had a very 42 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 1: clear vision for her future. She always knew she was 43 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: going to be a successful novelist. What was happening now 44 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: was part of the story, but it was only part 45 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: of the story. It wasn't the ending. It was just 46 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: that low moment for the hero that any good novel 47 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: has to have, because otherwise the novel is boring. I 48 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: love this idea of having such a clear picture of 49 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: the stories later chapters that you can see that the 50 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: current one is only a plot twist on the way there. Indeed, 51 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: Camille and I later talked about how it might be 52 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 1: helpful for other people to try doing this exercise by 53 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: picturing themselves doing exactly what she was doing when I 54 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: heard her. She was up on stage giving a speech 55 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: about her life. She told the story of the setback, 56 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: but it was just a part of the story that 57 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,639 Speaker 1: had a happy ending. So if you're facing some disappointment 58 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: to either professionally or personally, try to picture yourself several 59 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: years in the future. Picture yourself telling an audience your story. 60 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: Explain how this low moment was part of the journey. 61 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 1: Maybe you got laid off from your job, and your 62 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: future story you could explain that this stung, of course, 63 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: but while you were looking for something else, you began 64 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: consulting for a friend's small business on the side, and 65 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: then to gather you were able to make it so 66 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: big that you're now hiring tons of people, including some 67 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: of your favorite colleagues from your old company. Or maybe 68 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: you're going through a painful breakup, but you could picture 69 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: yourself at your future wedding telling the assembled guests about how, 70 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: because things ended so suddenly, you were finally amenable when 71 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: your aunt offered to set you up with one of 72 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: the members of her running club, you had an open 73 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: mind and good thing, because here the two of you 74 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: are exchanging your vows. I'm not saying any of this 75 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: will come true, of course, but probably something good will 76 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: happen in your future. By recasting this current moment as 77 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: just a twist in a larger narrative, you can make 78 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:20,359 Speaker 1: yourself more resilient. You can open your mind to possibilities 79 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: and open your heart to see what's next. In the meantime, 80 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 81 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 82 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 83 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 84 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four, 85 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me 86 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com 87 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 88 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch. 89 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For 90 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart 91 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 92 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: favorite shows.