Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Therapy Gecko podcast. My name is Lyle.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me here. Today. There will be
Speaker 1: no phone calls and instead we are going to do
Speaker 1: gek mail. For those of you who don't know what
Speaker 1: gek mail is, gek mail is a thing where people
Speaker 1: send me emails and then I read them, and sometimes
Speaker 1: I say completely insane things in response that are not
Speaker 1: helpful at all. Sometimes I say things that are that
Speaker 1: are really helpful. Sometimes I tap into that part of myself,
Speaker 1: and then sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't really have
Speaker 1: anything to say to that at all, and I just
Speaker 1: read it aloud for you to absorb without my commentary,
Speaker 1: because I have respect for you as a listener that
Speaker 1: I don't think you need my commentary on everything you know.
Speaker 1: I'm honored, I'm happy to deliver you the words of
Speaker 1: the email, but I don't you don't always need to
Speaker 1: know what I think about it, because sometimes I don't
Speaker 1: think about something about everything. You know. I think you're
Speaker 1: insane if you have an opinion about every single thing. Right,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to read a few emails that people
Speaker 1: have sent me, and some of them I'll have opinions
Speaker 1: about and when I do. I'll voice those opinions and
Speaker 1: some of them I won't have opinions about. And when
Speaker 1: I don't, I'll just go, oh, that was pretty crazy,
Speaker 1: and then I'll move on to something else. I just
Speaker 1: drank some coffee and I'm ready. I'm excited to talk
Speaker 1: to you for however long we do this segment for.
Speaker 1: If you want to be one of these emails, if
Speaker 1: you want to, I mean, send one. I think being
Speaker 1: an email would be horrible, or actually being an email
Speaker 1: would be exactly the same as being dead, because you
Speaker 1: would be unsentient. Okay, if you want to send an
Speaker 1: email to me to read on this show, you can do.
Speaker 1: You can send one to Therapy Gecko mail at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com and I might read them. Some of these
Speaker 1: emails are old. Some of these emails are like sometimes
Speaker 1: someone will send me an email and I'll read it
Speaker 1: like a year later. So that might happen to you.
Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, let's read some emails. Is that cool
Speaker 1: with you, guys? I hope it's cool with you, guys,
Speaker 1: because it's what I'm about to do. All right. This
Speaker 1: is from I'm I think I might stop saying, uh,
Speaker 1: who they're from, because a lot of the times I
Speaker 1: say who they're from, and then the first line of
Speaker 1: the email is don't read my name, so you know
Speaker 1: I have fuck it? Who cares? Okay, this is from
Speaker 1: Ali subject line I like, what's wrong with me? Hi Gek.
Speaker 1: While listening to this podcast and hearing people talk in
Speaker 1: real life, it seems like so many people are upset
Speaker 1: or depressed about wanting human connection. I agree with that sentiment.
Speaker 1: It sounds like everyone is sad about not having friends
Speaker 1: or not having a romantic partner, and some of the
Speaker 1: people who do have friends or partners are upset because
Speaker 1: they're not getting what they want or need out of
Speaker 1: those people. Basically, it seems like a common theme is
Speaker 1: that everyone is looking for more or better quality connections.
Speaker 1: I agree with that sentiment. After hearing so many people
Speaker 1: express these same feelings, I'm starting to wonder if something
Speaker 1: is wrong with me because I have never felt these feelings.
Speaker 1: I also thought back through my life and realized I've
Speaker 1: never felt any sort of attachment or deep connection to
Speaker 1: anyone else. Out of curiosity, I started seeing a therapist
Speaker 1: this year to figure out if something is going on
Speaker 1: with me, and to put it simple in non technical
Speaker 1: terms ter. My brain just does not form emotional attachments
Speaker 1: to other people. One effect of this is that I
Speaker 1: have basically no desire to interact with other people. People
Speaker 1: have expressed feeling pity for me because of this, but
Speaker 1: I actually love it. I feel so free. I voluntarily
Speaker 1: spend the vast majority of my time alone, and I
Speaker 1: am so happy and content. I do whatever I want,
Speaker 1: whenever I want, without having to consider anyone else. My
Speaker 1: emotional state is not dictated by other people. It's self sufficient,
Speaker 1: which means I'm happy almost all the time. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Hearing that most other people's emotional and mental states are
Speaker 1: highly reliant upon other people makes me feel sad for them.
Speaker 1: I just wish other people could feel as free and
Speaker 1: happy and unburdened as I do. I could go into
Speaker 1: more detail, but I feel like this email is already
Speaker 1: pretty long, so I'll leave it at that. I love
Speaker 1: this podcast because I get to learn about other people's
Speaker 1: experiences of life without having to personally interact with them.
Speaker 1: It's great. Thanks for everything you do for us listeners, callers,
Speaker 1: and emailers. Ali interesting, very interesting. Yeah, I mean everyone's
Speaker 1: wired really differently. It's kind of it's all this is
Speaker 1: kind of like the equivalent of like, you know those
Speaker 1: people who they their body has been designed to not
Speaker 1: feel pain. You know, I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: there's been like a TLC show about someone like that,
Speaker 1: where like their body is just designed to like you
Speaker 1: can punch them and you know, you can fucking take
Speaker 1: a stapler to their head and they don't care. This
Speaker 1: is kind of like an emotional version of that. I
Speaker 1: guess I get why. Here's a thing is I get
Speaker 1: why people say that they're they feel sorry for you,
Speaker 1: but uh well, not wanting is the same thing as having,
Speaker 1: So if you are, like I feel bad for the
Speaker 1: people who like they are, you know, like they long
Speaker 1: for things and they don't have them. The whole desiring
Speaker 1: is the root of suffering type thing. But for you,
Speaker 1: I mean, if you don't even want it, it's like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I know. I'm I I might. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say I envy you because I I
Speaker 1: I enjoy I don't. I don't I enjoy wanting the
Speaker 1: things I want, and I don't feel I'm okay with
Speaker 1: accepting the pain and suffering that comes with the desire.
Speaker 1: Like I'm okay with that, But I'm happy for you
Speaker 1: that you don't have to do that because you don't
Speaker 1: have the desire. There's a lot of freedom in that.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of freedom in not wanting fucking anything.
Speaker 1: It is so much freedom if you because that's what
Speaker 1: I guess, that's what the Buddha's shit is all about.
Speaker 1: Right as he sat under a tree and I didn't
Speaker 1: do anything, I don't don't say in the comments, don't
Speaker 1: correct me on the story of the Buddha. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I'm making my own up. But
Speaker 1: he sits under a tree and he doesn't want anything,
Speaker 1: and he's pretty chill, and then he dies, and for
Speaker 1: him that was a great life. For me, I would
Speaker 1: kill myself. That'd be a horrible life to sit under
Speaker 1: a tree forever and not do anything. But that's because
Speaker 1: I'm me, and the buddhas the Buddha, and Ali is Ali,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what it is that goes into
Speaker 1: making some people want things and making other people not
Speaker 1: want the things. And I also, I'm not sold on
Speaker 1: the idea. Some people would disagree with me on this
Speaker 1: and I and this I would welcome in the comments this.
Speaker 1: I this is something I welcome a discussion about. But
Speaker 1: I don't know if desire is like a choice, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I think I think it may
Speaker 1: Maybe it's maybe it's like a choice within reason, right,
Speaker 1: because you could, Yeah, maybe it's a choice within reason, right,
Speaker 1: because like I don't know. Maybe, like like if if
Speaker 1: you want like twenty boyfriends or girlfriends, you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of desire. That's a little too much.
Speaker 1: If you want to get your asshole eaten and eat
Speaker 1: McDonald's all day, that's a lot that's too much desire.
Speaker 1: Scale it back. But if you want, like, if your
Speaker 1: wants are reasonable, you want a friend, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you can choose to not want a friend. I
Speaker 1: guess you could. I guess you could shut it out
Speaker 1: and pretend to be the Buddha. But then how much
Speaker 1: of you is pretending versus like, I actually don't want
Speaker 1: a thing, you know what I mean. I'm happy for you, Ali,
Speaker 1: It's it's interesting your emotion. You said, my emotional state
Speaker 1: is not dictated by other people. That's very stoic. That's
Speaker 1: very stoicism vibes. I used to be really into stoicism.
Speaker 1: I maybe still am to some degree. There's parts of
Speaker 1: it that I like. It's a strong protective veil. I think.
Speaker 1: Desiring nothing, Yeah, that's a big stoicism thing, Like to
Speaker 1: desire nothing. It's a strong protective veil that you can
Speaker 1: use to protect yourself. But then I don't know. If
Speaker 1: you want nothing, you just kind of vaguely floats. You're
Speaker 1: like the boot the buddh had a shitty life just
Speaker 1: sitting under a tree all day. It's a bad life.
Speaker 1: You know, you want to be also desiring too much?
Speaker 1: You know, you do heroin and you die, that's a
Speaker 1: bad life. You know you have sex with a dog,
Speaker 1: that's a bad life. You don't want to desire too
Speaker 1: much stuff? Uh So you know what was I gonna say? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you you you you wanna you wanta do you want
Speaker 1: to be? You want to be okay with taking it
Speaker 1: all in and being like I'm understanding that because I
Speaker 1: desire to have connections with other people and because I
Speaker 1: want whatever material thing outside of myself, I'm okay with
Speaker 1: the suffer that comes with that desire, and you just
Speaker 1: take it versus the stoic thing of like I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna not want anything, but maybe it is sto Maybe
Speaker 1: actually there's an interpretation of stoicism that goes something like,
Speaker 1: I'll I'm okay with the suffering. I think that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I think everything I just said made a lot of
Speaker 1: sense and was really and was really smart. Maybe Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ali, I think you're doing good.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna read another email. This is from David,
Speaker 1: subject line life and movies. Hi GEK. Recently, I started
Speaker 1: an IT internship as a twenty four year old and
Speaker 1: an office where I sit for forty hours a week.
Speaker 1: I've listened to you sporadically for years now, but these
Speaker 1: first few weeks you've become my go to to help
Speaker 1: pass the time. I appreciate you. I'm writing while sitting
Speaker 1: at my desk. Thank you, David. I appreciate you. Besides
Speaker 1: the internship, I enjoy smoking weed, walking around, and watching
Speaker 1: movies pretty good. This past year, I actually lost about
Speaker 1: thirteen kilograms mostly because of this. I would walk around
Speaker 1: until late at night while smoking, and by the time
Speaker 1: I got home again, it would be time for bed,
Speaker 1: so that would help me avoid the munchies. You've talked
Speaker 1: about losing weight often, so if I could give any wisdom,
Speaker 1: it would be that I'm listen, David. I know, I'm
Speaker 1: aware of the fact. I'm aware of the fact that
Speaker 1: you're supposed to go to bed hungry or just like
Speaker 1: be too tired to eat. Trust me, I've tried that before.
Speaker 1: I've tried that before, But then I've also had a
Speaker 1: thing where I'm like, fuck, you know what helped me
Speaker 1: fall asleep is three thousand calories. Another thing you have
Speaker 1: mentioned often is movies. Have I I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't talk about I feel like I never talked about movies. Okay,
Speaker 1: I love movies, but can honestly only watch them in
Speaker 1: a cinema because at home I tend to go on
Speaker 1: my phone because I have TikTok brain. So I go
Speaker 1: to the cinema once a week, either alone or with
Speaker 1: a friend, to scratch that itch. What are some of
Speaker 1: your favorite movies? Do you have any recommendations or good
Speaker 1: recent releases. I live close to Amsterdam, so if you
Speaker 1: ever go on tour here again, I'll try to attend.
Speaker 1: Keep geking, David. I love Amsterdam. It's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite cities on the planet. Yeah. Oh, I'd get high
Speaker 1: if I lived in Scorgish board gin Blurgen, Netherlands. Like
Speaker 1: this person does. I would also get high and walk
Speaker 1: around all the time. I'm not a movie guy. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know where you get the movie
Speaker 1: thing from. Uh do I recommend any movies? What did
Speaker 1: I just watch? I just watched the Lego movie. That
Speaker 1: was good. I watched the Super Mario Brothers movie. I
Speaker 1: like cartoons. I feel like a little boy most of
Speaker 1: the time. I don't have the tension span for anything
Speaker 1: except cartoons. No, I'm not a movie guy. I don't
Speaker 1: know any movies. If you asked me to sit here
Speaker 1: and name a hundred movies, I don't think I could
Speaker 1: do it. Actually that no, I could probably do it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it because I think that, uh
Speaker 1: that that maybe I'll do it at the very end.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll do it at the very end, so that
Speaker 1: way I can be like, Okay, this podcast is over,
Speaker 1: and I've have delivered you the hour of podcast that
Speaker 1: I somewhat promised you by you clicking on this, and
Speaker 1: then this next part of me trying to name a
Speaker 1: hundred movies is like is like it's all, It's like
Speaker 1: nothing list there's no, that's not anything. So that's I
Speaker 1: wouldn't feel like I was wasting your time. I would
Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel, but I feel it because if I
Speaker 1: did it, if I try to do that right now,
Speaker 1: I'd be wasting your time. But if I put it
Speaker 1: at the very end, I'd be like, it's this is
Speaker 1: on you that you're doing this. Okay, maybe I'll do that,
Speaker 1: or or I absolutely won't. Okay. This is from john
Speaker 1: subject line Christian Mingle story. I don't know if you're
Speaker 1: familiar with Ray William Johnson. I am, but he does
Speaker 1: a true crime podcast and he featured a Christian Mingle
Speaker 1: story on his true crime podcast. And this lady talked
Speaker 1: to a guy for a short while on Christian Mingle.
Speaker 1: He agreed to fly out. She agreed to fly out
Speaker 1: and stay with him for four days. The guy apparently
Speaker 1: said this isn't working within a few hours of her
Speaker 1: being there and said she had to leave. So now
Speaker 1: she's stuck for four days with no place to live,
Speaker 1: and the guy has to call the cops to come
Speaker 1: make her leave. This is all, by the way, By
Speaker 1: the way, this is a complete run on sentence. The
Speaker 1: way that this guy's typing this. The cops get there,
Speaker 1: she strips down naked and starts walking around the neighborhood nude.
Speaker 1: They eventually get rid of her. But that's my funny
Speaker 1: Christian Mingles story. This is the worst email I've ever
Speaker 1: been sent in my life. No offense, John, but a
Speaker 1: little bit offense. It's a run This is a run
Speaker 1: on sentence of a story that happens to somebody else,
Speaker 1: that someone else said on their podcast. John. Next time, John,
Speaker 1: if you're reading this, if you're listening to this right now,
Speaker 1: next time, I swear, I swear my life. John, Next time,
Speaker 1: just send me an email that's like today. I went
Speaker 1: to the store and I bought a cookie and I
Speaker 1: went home and I ate it and I watched TV.
Speaker 1: And I would appreciate that email so much more than
Speaker 1: this one, because at least that's something that happened to you,
Speaker 1: and it's nobody's and somebody's already. This is not only
Speaker 1: do the story not happen to you, you're telling it
Speaker 1: from a podcast that already covered it. I'd rather hear
Speaker 1: I would rather be the first podcast to cover a
Speaker 1: boring day in your life than the third one to
Speaker 1: read a run on sentence that you wrote about a
Speaker 1: thing that didn't happen to you. So send me another
Speaker 1: E John, with just whatever happened to your day? Because
Speaker 1: this I don't. I try that to be mean in
Speaker 1: my in this show, but this and I don't, and
Speaker 1: I'm actually not. I'm trying to be constructive. But this
Speaker 1: is the worst email I've ever been sent in my
Speaker 1: entire life. No offense, John, send me another one. I'll
Speaker 1: read that. Just tell me something that happened to you,
Speaker 1: all right? This is from Dalton subject line If you
Speaker 1: read this, that'd be cool. Hey, Gek, I've been putting
Speaker 1: off writing you for a while, but now there's no
Speaker 1: time like the present. My name is Dalton and this
Speaker 1: is no joke. I was literally named after Patrick Swayze
Speaker 1: in Roadhouse. I've never seen Roadhouse? Is it good? And
Speaker 1: I don't only know it from like family guy. I've
Speaker 1: always thought that's kind of funny in a Squidbillies kind
Speaker 1: of way. Does anyone knows Squidbillies? Squidbillies is an adult
Speaker 1: swim show that ran for about thirteen years without a
Speaker 1: single person that I've ever met in real life having
Speaker 1: also seen it. Let me know if anyone says, I've
Speaker 1: ever seen this show. I always wondered how it was
Speaker 1: always on when nobody seems like they watched it. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm going to transition phase right now, coming out of
Speaker 1: a pretty serious drug addiction, and I'm rebuilding my life
Speaker 1: from the ground up. I just discovered you maybe a
Speaker 1: year ago, but I listened to your show a lot
Speaker 1: while I'm at work, and it makes the day more enjoyable.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Delton. Right now, I work at a fast
Speaker 1: food place that you said you go to semi frequently. Really,
Speaker 1: I wish that that narrowed it down up until this week.
Speaker 1: We sold popcorn shrimp and you said you'd never tried.
Speaker 1: Can you guess where I work? Oh? Fuck? Okay, popcorn shrimp.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be like one of the fried chicken places Popeyes.
Speaker 1: Does Popeyes sell popcorn shrimp? I'm gonna guess Popeyes, dude, Okay,
Speaker 1: I went to fucking I went to Popeyes the other day.
Speaker 1: They have a Freddy faz Bear five nights at Freddy's promotion,
Speaker 1: and I went to Popeyes at like two am, and
Speaker 1: I was like, do you have any And they have
Speaker 1: a what's the name? What's the name of that bird
Speaker 1: character from Five Nights at Freddy's. What's her name, Cheetah,
Speaker 1: Cherita whatever, the bird, the yellow bird lady. They have
Speaker 1: a thing with her and it's like she it's like
Speaker 1: a cupcake. It's fucking it's disgusting. It's strawberry frosting on
Speaker 1: one of their biscuits and it's like a cupcake bowl
Speaker 1: cup thing. And I was there at three am, and
Speaker 1: I was like, do you guys have one of those?
Speaker 1: And he's like, let me check, and he goes deep
Speaker 1: in the back of the restaurant and he pulls out
Speaker 1: the last one from like a freezer and he gives
Speaker 1: it to me. I go home, my microwave it and
Speaker 1: it was the most delicious depression meal I've ever had
Speaker 1: in my entire life. That Chickorita is a Chickorita. What's
Speaker 1: her fucking name? Anyway, this anyway, I don't think it's
Speaker 1: still out. I don't think you can still get it
Speaker 1: unless if you can't still get a fresh one by
Speaker 1: the time this airs, but maybe you can get one
Speaker 1: that they're not supposed to sell you. I recommend it. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm about to be starting school at the local tech school.
Speaker 1: Here on January fifth for industrial maintenance, so I'm pretty
Speaker 1: excited about that. I'm also trying to teach myself how
Speaker 1: to repair laptops. I play guitar, and I sing in
Speaker 1: a band, and I'm preparing to grow a vegetable garden
Speaker 1: when the season arrives. So I got a lot going on,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to find a balance so I don't
Speaker 1: burn myself out. I guess because I'm thirty one now
Speaker 1: and I spent so long in addiction, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm trying to catch up, catch up to what though,
Speaker 1: right I don't know. Ultimately, this is the best I've
Speaker 1: ever done, and I'm glad to have you in my
Speaker 1: year as part of it. Maybe one day I'll find
Speaker 1: the courage to call in PS. I've been listening to
Speaker 1: a lot of your old episodes and I don't know
Speaker 1: if you realize this, but your accent has changed a
Speaker 1: lot in five years. Happy Hanukkah. This's a nice email, Dalton.
Speaker 1: That makes sense to me, the whole thing of trying
Speaker 1: to catch up because you feel like you lost a
Speaker 1: lot of time. But look at you, man, Goddamn build
Speaker 1: in a fucking vegetable garden. You're in a band, you're
Speaker 1: at a text school, you're a real guy, dude. I
Speaker 1: love that so much. And we get a lot of
Speaker 1: stories like this on the podcast that I love so much.
Speaker 1: I really don't. I really I appreciate you, Dalton. I
Speaker 1: love it so much. It's like that woman who went insane.
Speaker 1: I think I called her or something. She went in
Speaker 1: saying she was like drunk, like like cradling a bottle
Speaker 1: of vodka in the park at like two am. And
Speaker 1: then and now her life is normal because I know
Speaker 1: what I really do feel like, I know what it's
Speaker 1: like to I've never like done like hardcore drugs or anything,
Speaker 1: but I kind of know what it's like to have
Speaker 1: a long period of your like a like a like
Speaker 1: a bender of some kind where you're like, I don't
Speaker 1: feel like a normal person, like the kind of day
Speaker 1: where like you try to save it by like talking
Speaker 1: to someone and then you're like I can't pretend like
Speaker 1: I'm not an insane person. But then this is great.
Speaker 1: I love it. I really I the idea that you
Speaker 1: can be like addicted to heroin and then not be
Speaker 1: and be in like a band and have a vegetable
Speaker 1: garden that's one of the coolest I'm dead serious, it's
Speaker 1: one of the coolest things I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you're dated to heroin, but
Speaker 1: whatever it was, it's called neuroplasticity is the word. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna google this. Let's make this a sign. It's podcast neuroplasticity.
Speaker 1: Neuroplasticity is the brain's amazing, lifelong ability to reorganize itself
Speaker 1: by forming new neural connections, allowing it to adapt, learn
Speaker 1: new skills, recoverment from injury, and change its structure and
Speaker 1: function in response to experiences, environment and challenges. So that's exciting.
Speaker 1: It means there's hope. It means biologically, our brains were
Speaker 1: designed so that if even if we fucked up a lot,
Speaker 1: we can we can get back there. So good on you, Delton.
Speaker 1: I'm inspired by this. Okay. This is from uh what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Okay? This is from Okay. The heading of
Speaker 1: the email says call me Josh. The email title is
Speaker 1: binky Fish. Okay, Hi gak, I'm Josh. I feel like
Speaker 1: more people should know about what I'm about to tell you.
Speaker 1: On Sundays, I make sure to text all my family
Speaker 1: and friends that it's Binkie Fish Sunday and either an
Speaker 1: I message sticker of a fish sucking on a binkie
Speaker 1: or an entire video that is a collage of binkie
Speaker 1: fish Sunday. I wish more people participated in Binkie Fish Sunday.
Speaker 1: Happy Binkie Fish Sunday. That fish is a baby? What
Speaker 1: the fuck is this? Okay, there's a YouTube video attached
Speaker 1: to this. Oh, okay, Okay, that's a lot of music.
Speaker 1: He sent me a YouTube video of a collage of
Speaker 1: fish with binkies. And these appear to be real images
Speaker 1: they just see. These appear to be ai manipulated or
Speaker 1: even photoshopped. You guys remember, oh man, you guys remember
Speaker 1: on the Internet when you would see something fake and
Speaker 1: be like, is this photo shopped? That's gone now? Okay,
Speaker 1: he's he sent me a bunch of stickers of fish
Speaker 1: with binkies in them, and he did send this to
Speaker 1: me on a Sunday. This is from December fourteenth. Okay,
Speaker 1: I sent you a p I sent you a bunch
Speaker 1: of pictures of binkie fish and my dog and an
Speaker 1: airline pilot named Joe that I know irl who was
Speaker 1: featured on the hit show. The rehearsal, shout out the rehearsal. Okay,
Speaker 1: I remember this anyway. I'll try to call in next time.
Speaker 1: Only answer if you want to know more about Binkie
Speaker 1: Fish regards, Josh. Okay, you know what that was. I
Speaker 1: don't know how long it took me to read that email.
Speaker 1: I think it was about three minutes. But I don't
Speaker 1: know about you, guys. I'm perfectly at peace with how
Speaker 1: I just spent the last three minutes of my life.
Speaker 1: I think that was a nice thing to now know about.
Speaker 1: It's from Maggie. Subject line, I've moved to a small
Speaker 1: island for a job I don't want. Hello, Gecko, my
Speaker 1: name is Maggie and I need some career advice. Longtime listener,
Speaker 1: first time emailer. I was wondering how to build a
Speaker 1: career in something stable that I'll enjoy all my life.
Speaker 1: I have worked in hospitality and tourism, and coming up
Speaker 1: to the holidays, it reminds me how much I hate
Speaker 1: working in hospitality and tourism because I never get Christmas
Speaker 1: off work. My schedules are never st and I've never
Speaker 1: stayed in a job longer than two years. I do
Speaker 1: have a degree in art history and try to do
Speaker 1: some volunteer work in various museums to get my foot
Speaker 1: in the door, but nothing is panned out. My brother
Speaker 1: is a manager in an office at twenty five, and
Speaker 1: I'm twenty three and never had a proper job. I
Speaker 1: know most people hate office work, but I would like
Speaker 1: to have a steady schedule and reliable hours. I've moved
Speaker 1: to a small island for a job in tourism that
Speaker 1: has turned out to have really inconsistent hours. Do I
Speaker 1: go back to school? Do I move to the city
Speaker 1: where there's more regular work? Do I try to make
Speaker 1: this job work? I would love to hear your thoughts
Speaker 1: about this, Okay, I'm gonna I'll be honest with you, Maggie.
Speaker 1: I think I'm not I don't feel I really don't
Speaker 1: feel that qualified to talk about this stuff because I
Speaker 1: think that the job market in general h sucks ass
Speaker 1: that I know. So do you go back to school?
Speaker 1: Do you move to a city where there's more regular work?
Speaker 1: Why did you move to an island so you want Okay,
Speaker 1: it sounds like your goal, your dream, it sounds is
Speaker 1: to just like have a normal ass job. You just
Speaker 1: want a normal ass nine to five job, Like, that's
Speaker 1: what you want? You want a normal ass nine to
Speaker 1: five ass job you can reliably clock in at nine,
Speaker 1: clock out at five, holidays and weekends off, live your
Speaker 1: fucking life. You want a normal ass, middle class, white
Speaker 1: collar job. How how does one get that? How did
Speaker 1: your brother do it? Ask your brother for advice?
Speaker 2: Not me.
Speaker 1: I don't have a I don't ask your brother for advice.
Speaker 1: He seems like he's doing a pretty good job at it.
Speaker 1: Do you go back to school you have a degree
Speaker 1: in art history? I don't know. I don't know how
Speaker 1: do people get those like regular ass jobs? You probably
Speaker 1: want to go to a city where that hat, where
Speaker 1: that's a thing you could work out, Like a college.
Speaker 1: They probably have a lot of shit like that. Why
Speaker 1: don't you wait, Okay, well you have it? Okay, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna throw some shit at the wall here.
Speaker 1: You haven't you have a degree in art history, Why
Speaker 1: don't you go to the alumni thing? Like, go to
Speaker 1: go to your college's alumni network and be like, yo,
Speaker 1: how do I get a regular ass job? And they
Speaker 1: might be able to help you. That's what that actually
Speaker 1: is what I would do if I were you. I
Speaker 1: would go to the alumni network and be like, Yo,
Speaker 1: what's going on in the regular ass job universe? Ask
Speaker 1: your brother you moved to a small island. Why did
Speaker 1: you move to a small island? Do you like the
Speaker 1: small island? All my life I have worked in hospitality
Speaker 1: and tourism. I hate working in hospitality tourism because I
Speaker 1: never get Christmas off work. Okay, yeah, sorry, I feel
Speaker 1: like I don't I feel like I didn't say anything
Speaker 1: useful about this, but uh, you know you could always
Speaker 1: you could, Uh you could become a fish. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stop looking at this email. I don't think I think.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've given I think I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm good at advice. Right now, let's
Speaker 1: let's do Let's read more emails. Subject line I just
Speaker 1: had a baby. My dad was supposed to help with
Speaker 1: childcare but relapsed. Hi, Gek, you can call me Polly.
Speaker 1: Sorry if this is kind of long, but I am
Speaker 1: interested to hear your thoughts on this situation. My dad
Speaker 1: has struggled with alcoholism for the past decade. I'm thirty five,
Speaker 1: so this didn't fuck up my childhood or anything. In fact,
Speaker 1: he gave me a great life, was generally supportive and involved,
Speaker 1: and even funded my higher education. He just seemed to
Speaker 1: lose his way in his mid fifties. His addiction affected
Speaker 1: me in a big way. I had periods of no
Speaker 1: contact with him and have been to therapy about this
Speaker 1: issue a few times. One of the boundaries I set
Speaker 1: with him was that if slash when I had children,
Speaker 1: he couldn't be around them if he wasn't sober. He
Speaker 1: actually went to rehab in early twenty twenty four, at
Speaker 1: the behest of my mom and his best friend. I
Speaker 1: was no contact with him for a good chunk of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, but reconnected with him later that year
Speaker 1: as he had maintained sobriety and I felt that I
Speaker 1: could let him into my life without detriment to my life.
Speaker 1: Things were going great with our family for a while.
Speaker 1: I got pregnant in early twenty twenty five, and my
Speaker 1: parents were overjoyed and so excited to meet our baby.
Speaker 1: Late in my pregnancy, my dad unfortunately lost his job.
Speaker 1: He never really admitted it, basically said he was unexpectedly
Speaker 1: starting retirement, but I suspect he was fired. He had
Speaker 1: this job for twenty five years. I don't really know
Speaker 1: the specifics of why he lost his job, but my
Speaker 1: mom doesn't think he was drinking on the job or anything.
Speaker 1: My dad tried to spin it into a positive by
Speaker 1: saying that now he'd be more available to help me
Speaker 1: take care of my daughter once she arrived. I was
Speaker 1: pretty happy about this because my dad is good with kids,
Speaker 1: and honestly, my husband and I could use all the
Speaker 1: help I can get. I just had my kid a
Speaker 1: month ago. She's the best thing that's ever happened to
Speaker 1: me and my husband. My parents fell in love with
Speaker 1: her too, and they were coming to our house two
Speaker 1: to three times per week with tons of food and
Speaker 1: helped us care for the baby so we could do
Speaker 1: other work or nap. It was awesome, and I was
Speaker 1: super happy that our family had gotten so close. It
Speaker 1: all came crashing down last week, though. My dad it
Speaker 1: actually outed himself and called me late at night, mumbling
Speaker 1: about his granddaughter and slurring his words. I immediately told
Speaker 1: him he's cut off from seeing my daughter. I told
Speaker 1: my mom, who I guess wasn't with him when he
Speaker 1: was drinking, and she searched our house and found an
Speaker 1: empty wine bottle. I haven't talked to him since, but
Speaker 1: this shit has been pretty devastating, especially with me and
Speaker 1: my husband being in the newborn trenches and dealing with
Speaker 1: tons of sleep deprivation on top of it. I don't
Speaker 1: really know how to proceed. On one hand, I'm most
Speaker 1: concerned with my kid's well being in safety, and I
Speaker 1: don't want him here right now, and moving forward wouldn't
Speaker 1: allow him to be around my daughter alone. I'm also
Speaker 1: so pissed that he relapsed in the time that I
Speaker 1: needed his help the most. On the other hand, I'm
Speaker 1: heartbroken that our family has been so bonded for these
Speaker 1: few weeks that I didn't even know he was drinking,
Speaker 1: and I know being away from the baby is probably
Speaker 1: painful for him too. He and my mom really love her.
Speaker 1: Your thoughts are appreciated. Love Polly. Sorry this is really
Speaker 1: inappropriate to say, but this is This reminds me, maybe
Speaker 1: it's not inappropriate to say. This reminds me of that
Speaker 1: Rick and Morty episode where you guys know exactly if
Speaker 1: you okay, do you know what I'm talking about? Where like, uh,
Speaker 1: it's like Christmas, and like all of a sudden, like
Speaker 1: Rick starts like be He's like sober and everything, and
Speaker 1: he starts like being really nice to everyone, and then
Speaker 1: the family starts becoming like a more cohesive unit and
Speaker 1: everyone's like, wow, Rick, you really changed, and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I just I just realized that I love
Speaker 1: my family and I'm trying to finally do what's right
Speaker 1: and whatnot and all this stuff, and it's a great thing.
Speaker 1: And then the family realizes that Rick has actually just
Speaker 1: been down in the basement like like doing science and drinking,
Speaker 1: and he created a clone of himself to like be
Speaker 1: a good cool guy with the family, and then the
Speaker 1: family's all pissed off. You guys watch Rick and Morty know, Okay, Anyway,
Speaker 1: this reminded me of that. Um yeah, that's tough. I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry to hear that, because the well, I you
Speaker 1: know whatever. To continue my Brick and Morty analogy, the
Speaker 1: bummer is the is that it is almost like your
Speaker 1: dad created a clone or something like that, you know,
Speaker 1: because like he he you have all this family bonding
Speaker 1: time where you think everything is okay and great and amazing,
Speaker 1: and then you fucking realize the whole time that he
Speaker 1: was still drinking. That's tough. That's really tough. Hmmm, hmmm, yeah, shit,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, ah mmm, I mean it's
Speaker 1: hard to get listen. Look, because like it's your dad's
Speaker 1: because here's the thing. You're thirty five years old and
Speaker 1: you have a kid, and you have you have a
Speaker 1: lot to do, right, You got so much to fuck do, right,
Speaker 1: you got so much to do. And though it hurts
Speaker 1: that your father cannot be with your kid right now,
Speaker 1: it's kind of on him, dude. It's kind of on him.
Speaker 1: He kind of has to get his ship together if
Speaker 1: he wants to be part of the family. And I
Speaker 1: respect you, Polly, I do. I respect you for holding
Speaker 1: firm yeah, not re enforcing boundaries like that. It is
Speaker 1: fucking it's it's tough. It's not easy. It's emotionally difficult.
Speaker 1: That's why that's why people don't do it. You know,
Speaker 1: it's hard. But yeah, it's on him, dude, because you
Speaker 1: don't want your daughter being around him while he's fucking drunk.
Speaker 1: And it's painful that, uh, he can't, he can't be
Speaker 1: in the family, and so pay also fucking painful for
Speaker 1: you that like that almost that like the few weeks
Speaker 1: where everything was beautiful was like a lie, you know,
Speaker 1: like that episode of Rick and Morty. But it's all
Speaker 1: he's a fucking on him dude. Ugh, this is a bummer.
Speaker 1: It's one of the one of the one of the
Speaker 1: one of the main bummers of life is that you're
Speaker 1: just having to accept that you can't really change the
Speaker 1: behavior of other people as much as you can just
Speaker 1: like reinforce your own boundaries around it and speak your
Speaker 1: pieces and whatnot, and then everything else is just kind
Speaker 1: of with him, you know. So thank thanks for thanks
Speaker 1: for sharing this email. I'm sorry that you're dealing with
Speaker 1: all this crap, but it is on him. So don't
Speaker 1: burn yourself too much because you got ship to do.
Speaker 1: You know, you got a family to be with. You
Speaker 1: got a husband and a baby, and you know, tell
Speaker 1: you tell your dad he's welcome back anytime, because I'm
Speaker 1: sure that's how you feel. He's welcome back anytime. But
Speaker 1: he's gotta he's got to just get his shit together,
Speaker 1: you know. And and and that unfortunately is on him
Speaker 1: as much as it sucks. This is from Kaya. Subject
Speaker 1: line is weed causing my anxiety? Yes? Okay, next email, No,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, Hi, Liyah, I hope you're well, I've
Speaker 1: been wondering for a while now whether my anxiety is
Speaker 1: general anxiety or weed induced. I'm not. I'm gonna preface
Speaker 1: this by saying I am not a therapist or a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1: I am a I am a guy who smokes weed
Speaker 1: and is a little crazy, and so I will and
Speaker 1: so I will answer this email from that particular perspective,
Speaker 1: not the perspective of a medical professional. Okay, I've been
Speaker 1: wondering for a while now whether my anxiety is general
Speaker 1: anxiety or weed induced. For context, I have suffered with
Speaker 1: anxiety since before I started smoking, and I currently only
Speaker 1: smoke one gram a week. I get spells of overthinking,
Speaker 1: crippling self doubt when I'm sober. When I smoke, it
Speaker 1: goes away and I feel like I think more rationally
Speaker 1: once the high dies off and the anxiety returns. I
Speaker 1: don't know whether it's the weed come down or the
Speaker 1: general anxiety returning. Luckily, I have found that when that
Speaker 1: time of the month comes around, smoking spins me so
Speaker 1: spins me out so completely. So in that instance, I
Speaker 1: know it's not good for me. As a fellow overthinker
Speaker 1: and pot smoker. What do you think, I fully reap
Speaker 1: the benefits of weed, but are they causing long term issues? PS.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to you for five years. Love your content.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the help. Please come back to England
Speaker 1: and do a show in Bristol. Ooh maybe I have
Speaker 1: heard Bristol's cool. Uh well, there's nothing listen kaya. There's
Speaker 1: nothing I can say about this email that's not gonna
Speaker 1: make me just a giant hypocrite. There's not I can't.
Speaker 1: I really can't answer this email without being a giant hypocrite.
Speaker 1: If I were to answer this email by giving you advice,
Speaker 1: I would be implying that I have solved my own
Speaker 1: issues with marijuana, and I would it would it would
Speaker 1: be at my strong best to imply that by responding
Speaker 1: by giving you advice on this email. But I guess
Speaker 1: I'll just tell you like, yeah, you know, yeah, I
Speaker 1: smoke weed and that makes me anxious and then yeah
Speaker 1: it's yes, it's a cycle, of course, it's this fucking cycle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you get anxious and then you spoke weed and then
Speaker 1: it comes down and then the anxiety like bounces back.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's the whole thing with drugs. That's why
Speaker 1: people say that like doing drugs is like borrowing happiness
Speaker 1: from the future, and then you go into like happiness
Speaker 1: debt or like a calmness debt. Right, So that's all
Speaker 1: that's all I got for you. I think you should
Speaker 1: go see a real psychiatrist about this. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it causes issues for me. Sometimes it causes issues
Speaker 1: for me. Sometimes it's nice and fun and awesome. Would
Speaker 1: I rather be like a cool guy who meditates and
Speaker 1: takes cold showers every morning instead of getting high?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Probably, But I'll let you know how that feels when
Speaker 1: I start doing it. But good luck. Kaya. This is
Speaker 1: from Meta Hi Ghek. My name is Meta. It's Greek
Speaker 1: for beyond. I'm a longtime listener of the show. Started
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty. I've been struggling with substance abuse, fueling
Speaker 1: it with an abundance of poor relationship related decisions. I
Speaker 1: feel helpless and like I'm nothing more than a loser
Speaker 1: with a weird personality. Okay, I spent two years getting
Speaker 1: to know a girl online, which was a poor decision
Speaker 1: to begin with. I don't know if it was how
Speaker 1: I hate feeling alone or what, but the whole deal
Speaker 1: left me distraught. Following our our repeated breaks in communication,
Speaker 1: especially since I invested so much of myself into getting
Speaker 1: to know this girl. Okay, I'm gonna read this whole email,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna quickly put a pin and being like,
Speaker 1: don't you know, I'll read the holy email first. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, I was gonna say, this sounds like
Speaker 1: it's going into a sunk cost fallacy mindset thing, but
Speaker 1: let's read the whole email. Following this, I got into
Speaker 1: a sexual relationship with a different girl. This time she
Speaker 1: had a boyfriend. I had been friends with her for
Speaker 1: about a year leading up. I knew that she was
Speaker 1: using me for the emotional and physical attention or diversity
Speaker 1: she wasn't getting from her boyfriend, which was immediately a
Speaker 1: red flag. Time and time again reiterating that she was
Speaker 1: ruining her own relationship to retain whatever weird shit we
Speaker 1: had going on. But all she would say is that
Speaker 1: she felt bad for me for putting me in this situation,
Speaker 1: and that her boyfriend would never know about us unless
Speaker 1: I told This left me pissed and broken, knowing that
Speaker 1: I loved this girl, but that I was the second choice,
Speaker 1: someone she could throw aside at any moment. And that
Speaker 1: she was the one putting me in that situation, not
Speaker 1: the other way around. However, I could see that being
Speaker 1: the case. Ever since these relationships, if you could even
Speaker 1: call them that, I've struggled to connect with people on
Speaker 1: an intimate level, feeling like my soul has left me,
Speaker 1: which again wasn't being helped by the stupor of drugs
Speaker 1: and alcohol. I was and still am in I've beat
Speaker 1: death time and time again, sometimes wishing I haven't, sometimes
Speaker 1: wishing I could just finish my time on this earth.
Speaker 1: My life has been nothing but suffering. I don't remember
Speaker 1: the last time I was happy. From an abusive stepfather
Speaker 1: to the loss of loved ones to the loss of friends,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have nothing left. I rely on
Speaker 1: music when I'm not high to feel in some sense complete,
Speaker 1: and other times staring at my ceiling contemplating my time
Speaker 1: on this earth. I've come to hope death is like
Speaker 1: revisiting a childhood memory, a happy one, being in that moment.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a park, maybe it's just being in the
Speaker 1: living room after dinner, being happy in a moment, and
Speaker 1: then that moment passes and the next moment comes. But
Speaker 1: that next moment is a mystery, and we can't discover
Speaker 1: that moment until we travel across that barrier holding us
Speaker 1: to this place we call home. I've been in more
Speaker 1: relationships beyond the ones I've mentioned, However, those are the
Speaker 1: ones that stuck with me. I feel stupid, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm nothing, like I have nothing, and that people
Speaker 1: use me but don't really care about me. GHEK. I
Speaker 1: know it's a lot, and I know you don't have
Speaker 1: the answer. I know you don't have the answers to
Speaker 1: fix my issues, but damn it, man, I love listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast and being reassured that I'm not the
Speaker 1: only fucked up, bitch made person on this face of
Speaker 1: the planet. Thank you. This is really random following all
Speaker 1: that tough shit. But there was a guy a couple
Speaker 1: of years back talking about how he asks everyone he
Speaker 1: meets if they would eat his amputated leg with him
Speaker 1: if he could get a five star chef to cook
Speaker 1: it for him. I do remember that guy. For some reason,
Speaker 1: that stuck with me, and I sort of used it
Speaker 1: as a base philosophy for finding people like me, authentic
Speaker 1: people that can vibe with my weirdness. Sometimes I'll ask
Speaker 1: people that question and every time I'll get hit back
Speaker 1: with some comment on how I'm fucking insane. But whatever.
Speaker 1: I guess maybe I just haven't found someone out there
Speaker 1: who would hypothetically eat my amputated leg with me. Hopefully
Speaker 1: that day comes. I'm grateful for every day I'm given
Speaker 1: because I know I should be part of a statistic
Speaker 1: right now. Even if life is bitter, and even if
Speaker 1: I drown my problems out with shit that's gonna kill
Speaker 1: me someday, I'm happy I get to experience that one
Speaker 1: more time. Every morning I wake up, GEK be with you. Meta.
Speaker 1: That was a lot. That was a lot, But I
Speaker 1: have thoughts. I just have to think about what my
Speaker 1: thoughts were. I wish I could actually I wish I
Speaker 1: could actually like talk to this guy I do. I
Speaker 1: wish I could actually talk to this guy, but I
Speaker 1: can't because it's just an email. Hm hm hm hmmmmmm mmmmm. Well,
Speaker 1: a lot of the I'm gonna I'm gonna pretend like
Speaker 1: I know anything right now, but the a lot of
Speaker 1: this stuff is classic meta. I'm just gonna talk as
Speaker 1: if I'm talking to you. A lot of this stuff
Speaker 1: is classic of like this is a guy who seems
Speaker 1: like his life is just like devoid of meaning or
Speaker 1: friendship or like just the the classic things that give
Speaker 1: life meaning, and uh, when life is devoid of meaning, Uh,
Speaker 1: it's kind of it's it's a classic because like, building
Speaker 1: meaning in your life takes a lot of fucking uh
Speaker 1: work and a lot of knowledge.
Speaker 2: And whether you want to admit or not, uh, not
Speaker 2: a sprinkle of luck a sprinkle of luck, but also luck.
Speaker 1: Is something that I think can be created in some ways.
Speaker 1: So it's the classic because it's like, if your life
Speaker 1: has no fucking meaning, you can fill it easily with
Speaker 1: the giant majority, the giant swath of short term dopamine
Speaker 1: distractions that exist to us in uh twenty twenty five
Speaker 1: anywhere from you know, porn and jacking off and smoking
Speaker 1: weed to scrolling on the whatever, to you know, alcohol
Speaker 1: to heroin to whatever the fuck right because it's easier,
Speaker 1: so of course you're gonna do it. It makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1: But this, I mean, yeah, but this is this is
Speaker 1: a guy who's just having trouble finding like, like clearly
Speaker 1: he wants just to like what everyone else fucking wants
Speaker 1: is to be seen, to to feel like they fucking exist,
Speaker 1: to be like to be not but like not even
Speaker 1: to be chosen or maybe to be chosen, Yeah, to
Speaker 1: be chosen. I think this guy wants to be chosen,
Speaker 1: but even before that, just to be acknowledged, you know,
Speaker 1: like yeah, when you're like a fucking weirdo and you're like,
Speaker 1: I just want to be I just want to I
Speaker 1: feel I feel so insane. I just want to be
Speaker 1: acknowledged that exist outside of my own you know, as
Speaker 1: this person calls himself a fucked up, bitch made person
Speaker 1: on the face of this planet. But I think if
Speaker 1: I were a meta or if I were talking to meta,
Speaker 1: and obviously this is a loaded thing, but like again,
Speaker 1: this strikes me as a guy with not a strong
Speaker 1: amount of meaning in his life, which, by the witch,
Speaker 1: is not in which it doesn't make you a loser.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't. It doesn't make you a loser if
Speaker 1: you feel like, oh, my life has no meaning, Like
Speaker 1: you're not a loser, like you like you really can't.
Speaker 1: Like if you're listening to me talk right now, meta, like,
Speaker 1: it's it's okay if you don't have a meeting in
Speaker 1: your life. I mean it's not it it's okay in
Speaker 1: the sense of like like, don't freak out. You know,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not a reason to freak out, like
Speaker 1: when you look at your life, like when you like
Speaker 1: when you look at your life and you're like, uh shit,
Speaker 1: I don't have really that many meaningful relationships, are meaningful
Speaker 1: things to do with my life and this and that
Speaker 1: other thing. It's really easy to freak out and then
Speaker 1: from freaking out spiral into I'm a giant piece of shit.
Speaker 1: I should be dead, and I should I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: do a bunch of drugs and die. It's easy to
Speaker 1: do it, but you could, but you could also meta
Speaker 1: if you're listening to me right now, you could also
Speaker 1: just like be like, Okay, I don't really have any
Speaker 1: meaning in my life, but like where am I at? Uh?
Speaker 1: I'm you know, like look down at your body for
Speaker 1: a second. I have hands. Okay, I assume you have hands.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. I don't know how old you are.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna assume you're not that old. I'm assume you're
Speaker 1: in your twenties probably, Okay, I'm in my twenties. I'm young.
Speaker 1: I have a mouth, I have legs, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: where like where like where are we at, like just
Speaker 1: taking inventory for a second, take a dict, like like
Speaker 1: quit freaking out for like a second. Just take some inventory,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And be like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: have hands, I know how to write an email, I
Speaker 1: have access to the internet. I I have an idea
Speaker 1: of what I want. I like music, I don't and
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I only know you from this email.
Speaker 1: But like what I like? What you know? I know
Speaker 1: Microsoft Excel, I like the sky. My brain has some
Speaker 1: ability to feel happiness in some way sometimes like just
Speaker 1: take in. So just like take take a second, take
Speaker 1: a day, take a write it down a piece of paper.
Speaker 1: Just take inventory. I mean like okay, uh, now that
Speaker 1: I've taken inventory of like where I'm at, who's there?
Speaker 1: What can I? What do I? What can I do?
Speaker 1: Be like all right, what can I? What can I
Speaker 1: do with this inventory that I've that I possess something little?
Speaker 1: Even you know, what's the Okay? And then the part
Speaker 1: of taking inventory is like all right, well, what's out
Speaker 1: what's outside of myself that I can take inventory in?
Speaker 1: What am I? Am? I am I near? Uh? I
Speaker 1: don't know? Can I Can I go see a therapist?
Speaker 1: Or can I go, Yeah, they just take a little inventory.
Speaker 1: That's that's my main takeaway from your things. Take a
Speaker 1: ticket instead of freaking out and and like letting your
Speaker 1: like letting yourself like a drown in your in trying
Speaker 1: to cure the fight or flight of your existence with
Speaker 1: and by the way, it's not a one and done that.
Speaker 1: You don't you don't beat addiction by taking your inventory
Speaker 1: and then realizing you're suddenly amazingly cured because you had
Speaker 1: an epiphany. But you just day by day, you're just
Speaker 1: taking even if I don't know what you're doing, while
Speaker 1: even when you're drunk, just take a little inventory, be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: where can I go from here? And maybe after take it,
Speaker 1: maybe if maybe, if you for a second you stop
Speaker 1: freaking out and you take it. I know I keep
Speaker 1: repeating it, but you're taking an inventory could potentially lead
Speaker 1: you into places where you find more meaning in life.
Speaker 1: And then once you're finding more meaning in life, you
Speaker 1: kind of naturally gravitate more people around you, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you're like, hey, I actually don't
Speaker 1: even want to do all this crap because I'm busy,
Speaker 1: So this kuy, I think that's what I got for you, man,
Speaker 1: just don't like, don't don't settle for the idea that
Speaker 1: you already know everything, because you don't. But that's good
Speaker 1: because if you if you want to like die, and
Speaker 1: and if you both A want to die and B
Speaker 1: feel like you know everything, then yeah, that kind of
Speaker 1: sort of takes you there. But if you want to
Speaker 1: die but you're like you, you surrender to the fact
Speaker 1: that you don't know everything, you might not want to die.
Speaker 1: You might be like, oh, the guy could know things
Speaker 1: that make me not want to die, but I just
Speaker 1: have to surrender to the fact that I don't fucking
Speaker 1: know everything. So takes some inventory, surrendered fact you don't
Speaker 1: know everything that you feel like you need to know
Speaker 1: to determine that you want to die. And this, you know,
Speaker 1: calm down, hope, I hope. I hope what I said
Speaker 1: just made sense. I hope it made sense. It made
Speaker 1: a lot, It made sense to me, I guess. But
Speaker 1: I'm rooting for you, meta, I am. Don't worry this
Speaker 1: Also this girl that you met on discord or whatever, like,
Speaker 1: it's okay, it'll be all right. There's more people. And
Speaker 1: also by the way, you'll find by the way, you
Speaker 1: know why I know that you you know why. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm still on this, but you know why Meta? You
Speaker 1: know why I think you feel like you know everything
Speaker 1: is because you're gonna find people who you can ask
Speaker 1: if they would eat uh, your amputated leg that will
Speaker 1: that would say yes, I've met I. And if you
Speaker 1: believe that you're never gonna find those people, you think
Speaker 1: you know everything. And you should stop thinking you know
Speaker 1: everything because it will reinforce your nihilism and that's bad.
Speaker 1: So just so go ahead and ask one hundred thousand
Speaker 1: to more people if they would eat your leg, and
Speaker 1: someone will be down. I guess that's what I mean. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was meta. We are rooting for Meta. This is
Speaker 1: from Alejandra subject line just life, Hey, gek, things are
Speaker 1: just life And right now I'm a very wanderlust person
Speaker 1: who likes to travel and see varying ways of life
Speaker 1: and nature. Currently, I have moved away from all of
Speaker 1: my family to a smallish town that is foggy in
Speaker 1: the mornings and the winter sun is purple red. My
Speaker 1: husband and I moved here a year ago and it
Speaker 1: felt like we have been waiting our entire lives to
Speaker 1: be in the position we are in. We don't have
Speaker 1: much money, but we have a place slightly bigger than
Speaker 1: the small studio we lived in four six years prior.
Speaker 1: He is able to fulfill his dream of getting work
Speaker 1: as an artist, and I am able to fulfill mine
Speaker 1: of living in the forest. Things have now turned for
Speaker 1: something unexpected. My mother in law got evicted and she
Speaker 1: had to move in with us. It was a very
Speaker 1: difficult decision for me, as my parents take very good
Speaker 1: care of themselves and always told me that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have to worry about them when they age. I did
Speaker 1: not even think twice that if they were ever unhoused
Speaker 1: I would take them in. Now I'm here with my
Speaker 1: mother in law, who has lived the majority of her
Speaker 1: life in unsafe housing situations. Her children and now myself
Speaker 1: have been paying for her rent during that time, so
Speaker 1: she has never really been entirely independent. It has been
Speaker 1: a real strain to have her living with us because
Speaker 1: of her coping behaviors. Our expense have increased immensely since
Speaker 1: she has moved in, and my savings have been slowly
Speaker 1: depleting because of this change. I'm really concerned because I'm
Speaker 1: also a student, and I have always had to work
Speaker 1: full time while going to school. This past year, I
Speaker 1: had the privilege to not only work this past year,
Speaker 1: I have had the privilege too. I'm sorry not work
Speaker 1: and only focus on school, But now I am back
Speaker 1: to working a job I don't like, just to stay afloat.
Speaker 1: It is really unfortunate because I mostly made this decision
Speaker 1: and hopes that my husband would be able to form
Speaker 1: a better bond with his mother ultimately help her get
Speaker 1: healthier and have an opportunity to have stable housing. She
Speaker 1: has many mental health issues, and it is really scary
Speaker 1: to hear her say she wouldn't mind being on the
Speaker 1: streets again if she were able to have a dog
Speaker 1: or a cat with her. She is obsessed with dogs
Speaker 1: and feels most safe with dogs because she says they
Speaker 1: protect her more than anything in the world. Now I'm
Speaker 1: not sure what to do because she has been doing
Speaker 1: things but also not telling us the whole truth about
Speaker 1: her situation of getting medical help and stable housing opportunities.
Speaker 1: She has a whole idea in her head that she
Speaker 1: is going to bring her dog from out of state,
Speaker 1: even if that means she ends up being homeless again again.
Speaker 1: We live in a small space and pets are not allowed.
Speaker 1: We have been helping her call and get her benefits
Speaker 1: and connected to a social worker, but we have little
Speaker 1: time on our hands to do much else. We work
Speaker 1: full time, have many side gigs, and are going to school. Anyway,
Speaker 1: just felt like sharing. Feel free to ponder or whatever
Speaker 1: you may, Ala, Andre, this felt like the Rick and
Speaker 1: Morty lady. I you know what some bummers the Rick
Speaker 1: and Morty lady in her email. She wasn't the Rick
Speaker 1: and Morty lady. I may. I just in my head
Speaker 1: started talking about Rick and Morty, and now I have
Speaker 1: That's how I remember her. Just the general thing of
Speaker 1: like having an older relative be you know, what's the
Speaker 1: appropriate word, a conflict in your life. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be really, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 1: I promised at the beginning of this email. I promise
Speaker 1: at the beginning of reading this that I wouldn't try
Speaker 1: to give advice or ponder on things that I don't
Speaker 1: have the thing for, and I think this might be
Speaker 1: one of them. But I appreciate you sharing this, Alejandra,
Speaker 1: and I wish you good luck, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe sharing your story will be helpful to the people
Speaker 1: who are listening. Sorry, I know it's a cop out,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to say a bunch of about
Speaker 1: some shit that I don't I don't have an answer to.
Speaker 1: This is from Nathaniel, subject line I committed unholy actions
Speaker 1: in church. Hello therapy Gecko. My name is Nathaniel, and
Speaker 1: I'm wondering what you think about these actions I committed.
Speaker 1: When I was around fifteen, I got kicked out of
Speaker 1: the house by my dad. I wandered around and made
Speaker 1: my way to a church that was pretty close by.
Speaker 1: I walked around and tried to open up the doors
Speaker 1: to see if one was unlocked, and it was. I
Speaker 1: snooked around and found the main office where they probably
Speaker 1: used it as a conference room, and there was a
Speaker 1: computer hooked up to a TV. So at this point
Speaker 1: I gave into my intrusive thoughts and I looked up
Speaker 1: porn on porn Hub, and I jacked off and busted
Speaker 1: all over the chair, did not clean it up, left
Speaker 1: the tab open on the computer, and turned the TV off.
Speaker 1: Then I went into the church kitchen and took food
Speaker 1: and a cookie. That's absolutely something I would have done
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen. I'm not gonna I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't say that wasn't that. I can't. I really can't
Speaker 1: say that. That's not something I would have done when
Speaker 1: I was fourteen. I'm twice that age now. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do that now. I would not break into a church
Speaker 1: at the age of twenty eight and jack off. I
Speaker 1: think fortunate enough fourteen year old me. If me at
Speaker 1: fourteen years old would have definitely like broken into a
Speaker 1: church and jacked off. But I would have cleaned it up.
Speaker 1: I think that's my thing. Yeah, I wouldn't have just
Speaker 1: like left come on a church chair when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1: I would have cleaned it up at least. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's stories like these where I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess we all have the same existence, or or
Speaker 1: I guess fucking crazy people did. But I mean, I hope, yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope you don't do that now. That's probably not
Speaker 1: a good idea. What kind of sweet treat? He actually
Speaker 1: didn't say he took a cookie. He said he took
Speaker 1: a sweet treat. What kind of sweet treat was it?
Speaker 1: Was it a cookie? Yeah? When I was Yeah, when
Speaker 1: I was fourteen, we would like I would like go
Speaker 1: into the fucking you know, what never mind. Anyway, we'll
Speaker 1: save that for another episode. Yeah, you should have cleaned
Speaker 1: up the chair. I think cleaning up. You gotta clean up.
Speaker 1: It's one thing to like jerk off at church, but
Speaker 1: you gotta clean it up. I think is important. Leaving
Speaker 1: the tab open on the computer is pretty funny, but
Speaker 1: you gotta you should clean up the com Okay, this
Speaker 1: is from Clark. Hello, you can call me Clark. I
Speaker 1: have been thinking a lot lately about the amount of
Speaker 1: sexual partners a person has had and how other people
Speaker 1: view that. I am in a relationship with an amazing
Speaker 1: woman and have been for the past two and a
Speaker 1: half years. She is my first girlfriend and I plan
Speaker 1: to marry her. The engagement ring is being created as
Speaker 1: you read this for her. I am her fourth long
Speaker 1: lasting relationship. The other guys were all pieces of shit, abusers, cheaters.
Speaker 1: Not going to dive into those stories. But that's her biz.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I hate even thinking about it. This woman,
Speaker 1: the love of my life, has had sex with sexes
Speaker 1: and old caps, has had sex with and kissed these
Speaker 1: other men, these scum. Who is to blame? What? Probably
Speaker 1: not important. She's with me now and in comparison to them,
Speaker 1: I am much more attractive, more intelligent, and better off.
Speaker 1: Why do I resent this part of her past so vehemently?
Speaker 1: She was young, her parents never modeled what a good
Speaker 1: relationship should be like. When I run mental simulations to
Speaker 1: see how I would have acted in the same situations,
Speaker 1: I understand why and how she made the decisions that
Speaker 1: led her to these places, and yet feelings of repulsion
Speaker 1: creep in reflexively anytime I hear or think about these things.
Speaker 1: Why I am not an idiot, I am not shallow.
Speaker 1: I know that these experiences she has had made her
Speaker 1: the woman I love today. If we are to assume
Speaker 1: that all things are faded to happen, to be said,
Speaker 1: it was necessary for her to do these things, to
Speaker 1: learn and to grow. Okay, I, okay, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I have a lot of thoughts. I guess
Speaker 1: I'll keep reading this email because maybe I have a
Speaker 1: lot of thoughts on what the things that this guy's saying.
Speaker 1: But I guess I will finish reading this email because
Speaker 1: maybe it will address some of my thoughts. Okay, Am
Speaker 1: I jealous? Maybe? But in which way? Jealous over the
Speaker 1: difference in sexual partners? That sounds right, But When I
Speaker 1: dissect it, it just sounds stupid. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go fuck other women now. I don't really regret not
Speaker 1: having a previous girlfriend either, perhaps a little, but not
Speaker 1: enough to matter. Is the difference in sexual partners intimidating? Yes,
Speaker 1: to elaborate, I'll go caveman mode. Sex is power, status, power,
Speaker 1: emotional power, experience power. Me want to be big, strong man,
Speaker 1: strong like shield, strong like tree casting shade for a
Speaker 1: smaller plant. Fuck, there's more than Okay, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna all right, I'm gonna read the rest of this
Speaker 1: email just so I have a clear picture before I
Speaker 1: give any thoughts upon it. Okay, it feels patronizing in
Speaker 1: a way. Oh wait, hold on, but how can a
Speaker 1: tree be strong for a plant if the plant is
Speaker 1: bigger than the tree. To be a man is to
Speaker 1: be powerful if your power. If your partner is more powerful,
Speaker 1: you fail as a man. Okay, it feels patronizing in
Speaker 1: a way. That's just my own head doing that to me,
Speaker 1: though not real enough to be valid. I don't even
Speaker 1: agree with this viewpoint. The Western portrayal of manhood. What
Speaker 1: it means to be a man lies in your actions
Speaker 1: and heart putting others before yourself, tolerating stresses and difficulty
Speaker 1: without complaint, being empathetic, But subconsciously, I think I still
Speaker 1: subscribe to society's portrayal of a man. Okay, by that
Speaker 1: in public, I stifle actions or words that might appear unmanly.
Speaker 1: In these scenarios, I am simply trying to maintain public image.
Speaker 1: However inconsequential it may be, it is an inevitable act
Speaker 1: of ego to protect myself from scrutiny. I think Heaven
Speaker 1: lies beyond this ego, a place unconforming to any individual
Speaker 1: view or ideology. Only truth. But truth is so subjective
Speaker 1: it's impossible to capture. Okay, you're okay, we need this
Speaker 1: be over. The point is I am actually jealous of
Speaker 1: my girlfriend? Forget the point? Is am I actually jealous
Speaker 1: of my girlfriend forgetting more play than me? Maybe a little,
Speaker 1: But at its core, I believe it stems from how
Speaker 1: I think other people would view my situation, which I
Speaker 1: do agree is dumb, but I can't help it. However
Speaker 1: dumb or unreasonable. The reason emotions persist is it then
Speaker 1: wrong to feel these things? It is wrong to act
Speaker 1: on them, but to simply thinking these things make me
Speaker 1: a bad person? Why do I care if you think
Speaker 1: I'm a bad person? The crux of humanity ego. In time,
Speaker 1: I pray I do not feel these things or think
Speaker 1: these things. I pray for my ego to cease to
Speaker 1: unbuckle me from this carousel of fate, faded to always
Speaker 1: return to the same spot, the same conclusions, no matter
Speaker 1: how far away from them you try to travel. Uh, Clark,
Speaker 1: all right, we did it. We got through it. We
Speaker 1: read the whole email, we got through it. I'm still here,
Speaker 1: you know what, Clark A, I'm really I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about. Here's the thing. I'm not in
Speaker 1: the business of calling people crazy, because I'm just I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not in the business of it.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: It's not my preferred way to approach people and situations.
Speaker 1: And also, I am willing to give you this benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubts, of this kind of natural thing of being,
Speaker 1: like having a crazy thought or feeling and then going, wait,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Why why did I think or feel
Speaker 1: that that was fucking crazy? I don't like this, and
Speaker 1: you're acknowledging that, and I'm hoping that these weird Okay,
Speaker 1: So let me. All right, all right, let me let
Speaker 1: me get all this straight. So your ex girlfriend had
Speaker 1: sex with other people before she met you, because she's
Speaker 1: h her her own human being with a life that
Speaker 1: is not inherently tied to yours. Yeah, somethings up, man,
Speaker 1: because listen, because whatever, here's the thing, right is like
Speaker 1: this thing of like her ex boyfriends were pieces of
Speaker 1: ship or whatever, whether or not they were pieces of ship,
Speaker 1: Like why do you why do you? Why do you
Speaker 1: care who she had sex with before you? If you
Speaker 1: like you said I you said, brother, you said, I'm
Speaker 1: in a relationship with an amazing woman for the past
Speaker 1: two and a half years and I plan to marry her.
Speaker 1: Why do you give a fuck? I'm I want to
Speaker 1: I'm of course, why do you give a fuck who
Speaker 1: she slept with before you, regardless of whether they were
Speaker 1: fucking Nelson Mandela or a piece of shit? You know, like,
Speaker 1: why do you care? But I'm also look, I can yell,
Speaker 1: I can yell these things, but I you agree. You've
Speaker 1: demonstrated in this email that you agree with me, So
Speaker 1: it's irrelevant for me to say these things because you're like,
Speaker 1: why do I you? Why don't even fuck? Why do
Speaker 1: I even fucking feel this way? I shouldn't feel this way.
Speaker 1: That's that's what you're telling me. Bro, I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is a bit, this is this is a dense one.
Speaker 1: You you, first of all, you absolutely need to go
Speaker 1: talk to a real therapist. Uh you talk one hundred
Speaker 1: percent heed to talk to a real therapist. You wrote
Speaker 1: a few that you wrote who is to blame? And
Speaker 1: it's like there's no blame. That is not I wouldn't
Speaker 1: even ask that question. Why does it matter? Clark? Clark?
Speaker 1: Clark Clark? Why does it matter? Clark? You like this lady?
Speaker 1: You want to marry her? Why does any Why does
Speaker 1: any like? It's like she's cheating on you. You know,
Speaker 1: why do the relationships that she had before you matter?
Speaker 1: If she's fucking with you now, she is with you now.
Speaker 1: Live in the president, Clark, live in the pre live
Speaker 1: in the present, because if you don't, you're you're gonna
Speaker 1: you But okay, all right, you know what, you know
Speaker 1: what Clark? Okay, I figured it out. I figured it out.
Speaker 1: I figured it out because I figured it out, Clark,
Speaker 1: here's my answer to this. Okay, when you have a thought,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm I'm about to go real therapist
Speaker 1: mode on you, Clark right now. I think this is
Speaker 1: my solution to your ship. Sometimes in life it's actually
Speaker 1: I agree with you, Clark. It's perfectly natural and normal
Speaker 1: and not insane to have an insane thought or an
Speaker 1: insane feeling and then look at yourself and go, that
Speaker 1: was a crazy thought or feeling. What the fuck? I
Speaker 1: don't want to be thinking that. Right, Perfectly fine, perfectly normal,
Speaker 1: happens all the time, happens to me all the time,
Speaker 1: happens to everyone listening to this all the time, no
Speaker 1: matter how hard they'll judge you. This is a perfect
Speaker 1: and normal thing. From there, I think the goal becomes Okay,
Speaker 1: I recognize I have this thought that I don't like,
Speaker 1: So I guess what would be within your agency is
Speaker 1: deciding whether or not you want to feed it. Right,
Speaker 1: So you have this weird rabbit hole that you're going
Speaker 1: down where you're like like resentful and obsessed with like
Speaker 1: your ex girlfriend having sex with like these people that
Speaker 1: she says are bad and all these things right, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It's like not remotely relevant to your
Speaker 1: individual relationship with her, and you're aware of that, so
Speaker 1: you can kind of you can decide, like it might
Speaker 1: be so okay, So it might be out of your
Speaker 1: wheelhouse to just have that thought pop up in your brain,
Speaker 1: but it's within your wheelhouse to like kind of side like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna not feed that, and I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: the emotional energy that I would be feeding that and
Speaker 1: direct it towards just being in this relationship with this
Speaker 1: girl in the present, right fucking now, instead of feeding
Speaker 1: the weird part of your brain that's fixated on the past.
Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying. So that's my that's my
Speaker 1: Gecko therapy to you is just take your brain and
Speaker 1: start feeding the present instead of the past. I would say, uh,
Speaker 1: in time, you said in time, I pray I do
Speaker 1: not feel these things or think these things. I pray
Speaker 1: for my ego decease. And I get you, man, it's hard.
Speaker 1: I'm by the way I'm the things I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: don't want to sound like a hypocrite, because it's hard
Speaker 1: when you have a thoughts and feelings that you don't
Speaker 1: like having to not feed them. It's reads hard the
Speaker 1: way I'm talking about it, and I'm making it sound
Speaker 1: like it's easy, but it's Uh, it's a really difficult thing.
Speaker 1: But I think that's the only kind of fighting chance
Speaker 1: that you have against those thoughts and feelings that you
Speaker 1: don't like, is to just not feed them and and
Speaker 1: and direct your energy into something better deserving, such as
Speaker 1: your actual current experience with your relationship in the presence.
Speaker 1: So that's what I would do, Clark. I appreciate your honesty,
Speaker 1: but uh, yeah, try to try to feed the the
Speaker 1: good wolf, if you know what I mean. You know that, Uh,
Speaker 1: you know that? Fucking what's that? What's the wolf? You know?
Speaker 1: The wolf? Parable? Hold on the parable of the two wolves.
Speaker 1: I think about this a lot. I think about the
Speaker 1: parable of the two wolves. We know the parable of
Speaker 1: the two Wolves. I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: the Parable of the two Wolves. I'm gonna read the
Speaker 1: Parable of the two Wolves. And then I'm gonna name
Speaker 1: a hundred movies. No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read the parable the two Wolves. Though a young
Speaker 1: boy comes to his grandfather filled with anger at another
Speaker 1: boy who has done him an injustice. The grandfather says
Speaker 1: to his grandson, let me tell you a story. I too,
Speaker 1: at times have felt great hatred for those that have
Speaker 1: taken so much with no sorrow for what they do.
Speaker 1: The grandfather says something like, I too feel hatred. Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. It is as if there are two wolves
Speaker 1: inside of me. One wolf is good and does no harm.
Speaker 1: He lives in harmony with all those around him. He
Speaker 1: does not take offense when offense was not intended. He
Speaker 1: will fight when it is right to do so and
Speaker 1: in the right way. And he is filled with love
Speaker 1: and light and all that other I'm just gonna paraphrase this.
Speaker 1: He's filled it. So there's a good wolf. He has
Speaker 1: two wolves in his brain. One wolf is like a
Speaker 1: good person and all the gain has good stuff and
Speaker 1: his understanding and empathetic and all that whatever, Okay. And
Speaker 1: then the other wolf is filled with anger, contempt, resentment, fear, loathing,
Speaker 1: bad stuff, the stuff you're talking about in this email.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that wolf comes out at you, okay. And so
Speaker 1: the grandfather is talking about these two wolves to the boy,
Speaker 1: and he's like, because the wolf, the wolves are going
Speaker 1: at each other in the grandfather's brain, right, And and
Speaker 1: the Grandfather's like, it's hard to live with these two
Speaker 1: wolves inside of me, because both of the wolves try
Speaker 1: to dominate my spirit. And the boy asks his grandfather
Speaker 1: which wolf will win, and the grandfather says, the one
Speaker 1: that I feed. I think I read that like ten
Speaker 1: fucking years ago or something like that, and that really
Speaker 1: it hit me. It hit me, Clark. So so, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have a dark wolf within you, but you have
Speaker 1: a nice wolf within you have a loving wolf within
Speaker 1: you that loves your girlfriend, wants to marry her, all
Speaker 1: these things, So pick which one you want to feed,
Speaker 1: I suppose. And that was gek Male and that was
Speaker 1: therapy Gecko. And I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I
Speaker 1: hope that this was helpful or entertaining or some I
Speaker 1: hope it was. I hope you enjoyed being I hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed listening to this. Thank you, Thank you for
Speaker 1: being here. I'm trying my best in this crazy world
Speaker 1: to make podcasts and do stuff and live life and
Speaker 1: you know, just to be so thanks for listening, thanks
Speaker 1: for joining me on this journey across the email universe.
Speaker 1: And I think that's it. I think that's all I
Speaker 1: have to say. I go, I go watch my I'm
Speaker 1: gonna post it on Spotify at some point. I don't
Speaker 1: know when, but yeah, go watch my Iraq video. I
Speaker 1: don't know by the time I released this podcast, maybe
Speaker 1: it'll already be on Spotify. I have no idea. Go
Speaker 1: to therapy geckotour dot com because I'm uh going on
Speaker 1: tour again. I'm excited about that. If you want to
Speaker 1: be if you want to be in gek mail, if
Speaker 1: you want to be in one of these emails you
Speaker 1: can go to you can email me at therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: mail at gmail dot com. I'm sorry if I was mean.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like when i'm I feel
Speaker 1: like when I'm just alone in a room, it's easier
Speaker 1: for me to just be me. I don't think I
Speaker 1: was mean. I don't know. I think I think I
Speaker 1: think this was good. I think this was a good
Speaker 1: gek mail session. I think it was I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm trying my best to do to do this good.
Speaker 1: So yeah, send me an email Therapy Gecko mail at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ghak bless you all have a good
Speaker 1: rest of your entire life, and I'll see you guys
Speaker 1: around the universe. By everyone there, repeat cant goes on
Speaker 1: the line taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: The repeat can goes doing his eye.
Speaker 1: He's teaching you about and the liver your life, but
Speaker 1: he's not really an expert.