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Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio A

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Speaker 1: little Ridiculous Historians. This is your heads up that we

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Speaker 1: are doing something a little bit different this week that

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Speaker 1: might not be for everyone. It's a wild ride. We

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Speaker 1: very much enjoyed it. We're hanging with our good good

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Speaker 1: friends Eli and Diana Banks at Ridiculous Romance. But no,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about something a little saucier than we would

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Speaker 1: talk about on Ridiculous History, aren't we. That's right. Today's

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Speaker 1: episode is about the history of sauce. No, a different

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Speaker 1: kind of sauce. Um No, yeah, sauciness, that's right, Ben.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is part two of the History of Sex Toys,

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Speaker 1: about implements throughout history that have been designed to stimulate

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Speaker 1: and to arouse. So understandably, this is one that's maybe

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Speaker 1: not for the kiddos, you know, unless they're I mean,

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Speaker 1: they've sort of stripped sex said from the schools these days,

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Speaker 1: so maybe that's exactly what the kiddos need. Who are

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Speaker 1: we to say, we just wanted to give fair warning

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Speaker 1: as all. There's gonna be some uh, some raunchy talk, yes,

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Speaker 1: frank and candid talk, uh, enlightening, illuminating, and it's an

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Speaker 1: It's an interesting way to explore history. It's an interesting

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Speaker 1: way to explore society as well. I do want to

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Speaker 1: see our bodies and our bodies which are wonderlands. As

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Speaker 1: you mentioned earlier. If you, uh, if you enjoy family

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Speaker 1: experience where you're listening with more sensitive loved ones or

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Speaker 1: with kids, uh, we draw your attention to some earlier

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Speaker 1: episodes we did. I just want to take a second

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Speaker 1: knowl and brag. Can we brag? Can we brag on?

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Speaker 1: Max Williams? Super producer Max Williams surprised the heck out

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Speaker 1: of us just recently, right before we hit the road

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Speaker 1: when I once again through Max under the Lionel train

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Speaker 1: and acted like we had a big sounds cue on

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Speaker 1: the way. But hot gosh, man, he did it. Also,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, hot gosh, No, yeah, that that's not There's

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Speaker 1: not gonna be any of that hedging uh in the

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Speaker 1: actual episode, No, hot gosh, we go we go full

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Speaker 1: bore Ethan and Jeff m but no man. I UM,

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Speaker 1: I was in a bit of a slump that day.

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Speaker 1: I was having some family issues that I was dealing with.

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Speaker 1: And um our buddy uh and compatriot Matt Frederick Mr.

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Speaker 1: Matt Frederick. Mr. Matt Frederick texted me repeatedly asking me

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Speaker 1: to check out the QA for that day's episode or

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Speaker 1: there the episode that went live, and finally got around

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Speaker 1: to it and realized that Max had in fact recruited Matt, Matt,

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Speaker 1: Max and Matt to do a guest vocal on the

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Speaker 1: Max with the Facts sound cue, which is now forever

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Speaker 1: emblazoned uh in the cannon of ridiculous history. So thank

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Speaker 1: you both for that because it certainly cheered me right up.

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Speaker 1: That's wonderful, that's wonderful, and this is this is one

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Speaker 1: of the parts of this world right now. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we said that sneaking in phone back and he's fallen

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Speaker 1: thellege just for you right now here we fact God,

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Speaker 1: so good, so good, And should we hear the other one? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's hear the ultra one. Why not phone back and

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Speaker 1: he drop in the hollege just for you. So good.

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Speaker 1: There we go, oh, oh, so good. It's a Mommy

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Speaker 1: for the ears. You can check that out in the

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Speaker 1: wild on a previous episode. Again, if you're listening with

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Speaker 1: kiddo's or maybe the Sex Toys episode is not for

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Speaker 1: everyone in your family, but we do urge you to

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Speaker 1: check out this episode and part one of the history

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Speaker 1: of Sex Toys. This is a ridiculous romance production. More importantly,

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Speaker 1: subscribe to their show because, uh, they've really got it together. Actually,

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Speaker 1: Nolan Nolan, I talked about that off air. They are

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Speaker 1: legit and we cannot wait for you to hear them,

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Speaker 1: not to mention the whole ridiculous universe that's coming together.

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Speaker 1: We've now got ridiculous crime which is now out there

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Speaker 1: on the scene, and I believe by the time this

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Speaker 1: episode comes out, we will have heard the announcement of

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Speaker 1: Ridiculous News with our buddies Bill and Mark at the

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Speaker 1: Helm of Ridiculous News, which will be a UM weekly

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Speaker 1: or twice a week UM topical and Evergreen simultaneously somehow,

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Speaker 1: because these guys are weird wizards show that tackles everything

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Speaker 1: ridiculous in the news, which we know there's plenty of yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we are going to have them on an episode

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Speaker 1: very very soon. So in the meantime, if you've ever

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Speaker 1: asked yourself, let's see where chastity belts come from? This

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Speaker 1: this part two is especially for you, hey, accidental rhyme

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Speaker 1: or on purpose who knows here we go. Hey the French,

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Speaker 1: come listen. Well, Elia and Diana got some stories to tell.

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Speaker 1: There's no match making, all romantic tips. It's just about

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Speaker 1: pridiculous relationships. A love it might be any type of

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Speaker 1: person at all, and abstract cons that are a concrete wall.

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Speaker 1: But if there's a story where the second glance ridiculous

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Speaker 1: role that a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the show. IM so glad to have

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Speaker 1: you as always. Yes, very exciting for part two today

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Speaker 1: of our crossover with Ridiculous History hosts Ben Bowling and

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Speaker 1: Noel Brown. Guys, welcome back, Thank you for being here.

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Speaker 1: It is we remain. We went through a lot. In

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Speaker 1: that lot, we learned a lot. I think. No, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of school girlish tittering going on.

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Speaker 1: I was stimulated in both body and mind, and I

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Speaker 1: was horrified. So all the ridiculous romance boxes are checked.

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Speaker 1: Three tiers of any successful relationship, right, stimulating mind and uh,

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Speaker 1: you knows horrified, Yes, so we Um, thank you guys

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Speaker 1: so much for having us back on for our second date. Um,

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Speaker 1: this was a wild ride. I'm not going to look

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Speaker 1: at goats the same way for a while. Never Never,

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Speaker 1: you really hung up on that goat island with the

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Speaker 1: organic French tickler. Huh yeah, God yeah, it's painful. Um,

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Speaker 1: but we're going to move past all that today. Uh,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna leave the goats behind. We're talking about sex dolls.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about chastity belts and all the mysteries surrounding

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Speaker 1: them and beneath them. So to start us off, let's

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Speaker 1: let's talk about sex dolls. Where where do they come from?

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Speaker 1: What's it all about? I guess making a little avatar

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Speaker 1: of your desires is probably pretty old school as long

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Speaker 1: as we've had imaginations, right, people are like, I'll just

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Speaker 1: pile some clothes together and see if I can making it.

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Speaker 1: But according to black Book mag dot com, they have

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Speaker 1: an article called sex Dolls a timeline which is very useful. Um,

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Speaker 1: there were sailors in the fifteenth century who would take

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Speaker 1: dolls that were, um, they were clothes stuffed with straw

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Speaker 1: or with rags basically, and they were very not that

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Speaker 1: humanoid looking. They're just kind of a vaguely human shape.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to stuff clothes into a realistic dummy. Asked

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Speaker 1: me how I know. Oh, I don't think we're going

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Speaker 1: to but this, well, so is it like those creepy

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Speaker 1: body pillows especially? Yeah? Sure, well, and then imagine some

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Speaker 1: of them are straw, which is like so itchy, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't seems as comfortable as rags.

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Speaker 1: But they called them dom de voyage of the voyage, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and they were just to occupy them while they were,

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Speaker 1: you know, in their long journeys at sea. They would

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Speaker 1: have and we did actually a whole episode about gay

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Speaker 1: pirates um and they often would would would sometimes use

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Speaker 1: each other, but I guess they would also sometimes take

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Speaker 1: on these these stuffed rag dolls. Do you think kind

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Speaker 1: of prison rules apply it? See, like what happens at

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Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not actually gay, I'm just marooned. So

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Speaker 1: what I think is interesting isn't. In the last episode,

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Speaker 1: we talked about how people said women couldn't survive without

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Speaker 1: an injection of seamen at some point or they would

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Speaker 1: go insane. And yet here are these men going on

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Speaker 1: a voyage who can't be gone for three months without

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Speaker 1: putting their dick in something. S Yeah exactly. Are you

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Speaker 1: guys familiar with the concept of a FIEFI I don't

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Speaker 1: know if this is just something that like my friend

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Speaker 1: made up or if this is like it definitely represents

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Speaker 1: an actual thing that you guys will be familiar with.

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Speaker 1: But this is a term that my friend Frank, friend

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Speaker 1: of the show, friend of the universe uses for an

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Speaker 1: improvised sexual device us Like, let's say a toilet paper

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Speaker 1: roll stuffed with tissue filled with petroleum jelly. You know,

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Speaker 1: it could be uh wintermel specific. I'm just just as

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Speaker 1: as an example as another another confirmed or deny this.

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Speaker 1: They could just be you know, two couch cushions. Um

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Speaker 1: there you know, there any anything that you can use

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Speaker 1: as a stand in for um, you know, the genuine article.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know. I didn't know if anyone

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Speaker 1: else has heard that term before. Yeah, if you go

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Speaker 1: to uh, I guess we have. This is the website.

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Speaker 1: If you go to all one word make pockets pussy

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Speaker 1: dot com, you'll see how to make a FIEFI f

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Speaker 1: I f I for everybody who also wants to ruin

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Speaker 1: their search history. UNA make a FEEFI that's sailed for us,

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Speaker 1: that sailed that is, it's probably got its own dom

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Speaker 1: the voyage now. But but so like this has to

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Speaker 1: have come a long way right at this point, I

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Speaker 1: know that now is surely now. It's like if somebody

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Speaker 1: is making a a scarecrow uh thing to have sex with,

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Speaker 1: it's because that's what they want, right, aren't there better

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Speaker 1: to be? There's so many options now, like all those

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Speaker 1: real dolls and stuff that people. Oh, you can't tell

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Speaker 1: the difference between these and real humans anymore. It's straight

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Speaker 1: up Jude Law Ai. It's I can get a Jude

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Speaker 1: law real doll. Let me look at you. Yourself might

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Speaker 1: be a sex dollar not know it. This is the

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Speaker 1: future we're moving towards. How have we not seen a

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Speaker 1: movie about a sentient sex doll? They gets broad, they

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Speaker 1: gets turned into because it comes from being a real

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Speaker 1: doll to being a real woman, like in Pinocchio situation.

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Speaker 1: You know, questions see that sort of like there's that

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Speaker 1: movie Mannequin from the eighties, sort of that thing a

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Speaker 1: little bit, But I don't know. I want to see

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Speaker 1: that story updated. Yeah, A two four will probably get

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Speaker 1: on it at some point. They make all those ai

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Speaker 1: true true. I love that stuff and all the modern

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Speaker 1: horror the right exactly. Um, but if you loved the

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Speaker 1: modern sex doll, like real dolls and other versions of that.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately you have the Nazis to think for those man

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Speaker 1: um But in one the s S leader Heinrich Himler,

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Speaker 1: actually was very of the show. Enemy of the show. Apparently,

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Speaker 1: was very concerned with the Nazi soldiers in like the

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Speaker 1: front lines in Paris and stuff, going to visit too

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Speaker 1: many prostitutes and getting STDs. And he was basically like,

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Speaker 1: STDs are killing more of our soldiers than bullets are.

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Speaker 1: So he's like, we need to give them something instead

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Speaker 1: of going to visit these real women. We need to

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Speaker 1: give him something else. So he got a sculptor named

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Speaker 1: Arthur Rink involved in a project called the borg Killed

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Speaker 1: Field Hygiene Project, and it was considered more secret than

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Speaker 1: top secret, which considering their top secret things, pretty is

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Speaker 1: funny to me. There's the Holy Grail and then a

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Speaker 1: few not just below that, sex dolls. Sex. But that's

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Speaker 1: his contribution to history. Like Arthur Rink made the sex

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Speaker 1: doll his death bed. He's like, let my legacy live on,

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Speaker 1: stab my name on the foot of every sex doll.

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Speaker 1: So Black Book mag writes that quote. The sculptor on

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Speaker 1: the project, Arthur Rink created three types of dolls. He

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Speaker 1: had three different types. According to Rink, the s s

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Speaker 1: wanted the breasts round and full, of course, and ss

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Speaker 1: dr Olan Hennison insisted on a rose hip form that

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Speaker 1: would grip well. Okay, so he's like a consultant on this.

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Speaker 1: He like walked in, so he was like, listen, here's

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Speaker 1: all my wish list. You know, do what you do best, Arthur,

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Speaker 1: You're the sculptor, but I have some notes. Let's talk ergonomics.

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Speaker 1: I want a good gripping surface. Nothing's worse than losing

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Speaker 1: your grip. Right, these guys are already a war. Let's

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Speaker 1: make it simple. Um. And then for the face, they

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Speaker 1: were going back and forth on a face for this doll,

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Speaker 1: and they agreed that, you know, this is a sex doll,

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Speaker 1: so she needs to look a little naughty and like

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Speaker 1: sort of slutty. They wanted a slutty face whatever that means,

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Speaker 1: and the more of a come hither look let's call it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was like a you know, not a not a

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Speaker 1: not ah an innocent looking gal. I guess. But they

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Speaker 1: actually asked an actress at the time, whose name was

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Speaker 1: kath von Nag to be the face of this doll,

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Speaker 1: and obviously she said no, thank too. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I would hate to be like, yes, put my face

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Speaker 1: on all these sex dolls to be unbelievable. So they said, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: we need to create an artificial face of lust that

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Speaker 1: would be more appealing. Technician Franz Schockert a greed, saying, quote,

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Speaker 1: the doll has only one purpose, and she should never

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Speaker 1: become a substitute for the honorable mother at home. When

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Speaker 1: the soldier makes love to board kills, she has anything

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Speaker 1: to do with love. Yeah, board killed, I'm sorry, makes

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Speaker 1: love makes love, sir, Look board kill deserves some respect.

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Speaker 1: He says, this has nothing to do with love. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: the face of our anthropomorphic sex machine should be exactly

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Speaker 1: how Wigner described the common wanton's face. Also starting an

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Speaker 1: industrial band called Anthropomorphic sex Machine, and you would do well,

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Speaker 1: I think, and I would like to see the cover

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Speaker 1: art most as possible, be one of those steam powered dildos.

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Speaker 1: I think they open right, you can do like a

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Speaker 1: variety pack of you. It was steam Powered Dildo is one,

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Speaker 1: and then the shi sex Machine. Maybe that's the name

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Speaker 1: of the album. The band is steam Power Dildo, the

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Speaker 1: album sex Machine. I think we can discover some stuff here, right,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm, you know, obviously astounded by episode one,

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Speaker 1: and now we're diving right into Nazi real dolls, which

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Speaker 1: is then they have names. Bordld that's a very sexy

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Speaker 1: name I might have, but I mean, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: he's let me lost. So you don't like Frauleine BORKI

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Speaker 1: make you think of the borg. I don't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I want to be. I want to be assimilated

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Speaker 1: when I lay with this, when you make love now

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Speaker 1: you're speaking my language, assimilate me. One does not make

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Speaker 1: love to a sex machine. So there, it's weird because

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Speaker 1: I would imagine that the face, whatever the face ends

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Speaker 1: up being, it's going to be frozen and whatever static

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Speaker 1: expression they give it right, so it's like surprised or

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Speaker 1: it's like whole saucy I'm into this, I guess, abject horror. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe that's the problem is that some people that's what

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Speaker 1: the face they would like to see the most, I suppose,

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Speaker 1: But yeah, they actually Time Magazine said that because they

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Speaker 1: couldn't decide, you know, they didn't want it to look

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Speaker 1: like someone's wife or mother. I guess they couldn't really

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Speaker 1: nail down a slutty face for this doll. So and

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Speaker 1: they tried, Okay, they took surveys, um so they kind

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Speaker 1: of left the dolls face pretty blank, and they thought

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Speaker 1: that the soldiers would more were more likely to use

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Speaker 1: them if they could sort of impart their own fantasy

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Speaker 1: onto the doll. And it didn't look like anything too specific.

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Speaker 1: But of course they're Aryan. They're very much about Aaryan value,

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, aesthetics or whatever. So of course they

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Speaker 1: gave the creation still had blue eyes and blonde hair.

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Speaker 1: So other than that, I guess you could give her

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Speaker 1: full lips or thin lips, or a big nose or

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Speaker 1: a small nose. However your imagination runs wild. You can

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Speaker 1: customize these um just in your head, testing you in

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Speaker 1: your mind. And so it says after extensive testing, which

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Speaker 1: I have to ask, I would love to pull into

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Speaker 1: speculation station and find out what the testing entailed. Sensual

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Speaker 1: works both in the dark and in the light. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's let's let's double check that that's science. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's well, there's obviously to be the boring answers.

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Speaker 1: They probably have to look at material science and stress

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Speaker 1: on these so called comfort that checks out his science,

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Speaker 1: but also also the thing that gets me, and this

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Speaker 1: is just a hygiene thing. Um, are they one per soldiers?

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Speaker 1: The distribution a single use thing or is it washable?

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Speaker 1: If I was, if I was designing it, I would

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Speaker 1: make an ejectable cartridge. You could take it out and

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Speaker 1: put a new one in dishwasher safe. Where were you

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Speaker 1: when the Nazis were trying to put together these threal dolls.

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Speaker 1: I've been asked that question many times. Yah, think Nolan

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Speaker 1: and I we're gonna ask that earlier. But yeah, so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So they did a bunch of testing on I'm surely

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Speaker 1: material stresses. And also I guess how effective they were

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Speaker 1: arousing you maybe that's my guess, my gross guests. And

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Speaker 1: so they are like, these are ready to go, And

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Speaker 1: Himmler ordered fifty dolls for his own troops, but by

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Speaker 1: two they pulled the plug on this project because the

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Speaker 1: soldiers were way too embarrassed to carry these dolls around

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Speaker 1: and they were really worried that if they got captured

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Speaker 1: by the enemy that like American in British and French

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Speaker 1: soldiers will make fun of them, which is so funny

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Speaker 1: that you're like, I'm a pow and my number one

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Speaker 1: concern is they're going to make fun of me. I'm

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Speaker 1: a proud Nazi soldier. I don't want to be teased. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I mean I get it though, right, Like also especially

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Speaker 1: get that given the propaganda war going on at that time,

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Speaker 1: it would be a real gift to the Allies to

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Speaker 1: be able to say, these guys are running into battle

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Speaker 1: on the fighting for the forces of evil with Also,

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Speaker 1: by the way, they're sex dolls right right by the way,

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Speaker 1: these depraved tons are fucking these random sex dolls. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's probably true too. They were like, it'll make us

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Speaker 1: look really weird and weak and bad. Um, we don't

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Speaker 1: want we don't want to look bad. Letter by furiously,

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Speaker 1: we'll make it work, I promised soldiers. Way. Yeah, I've

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Speaker 1: always kind of been a little perplexed that like the

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Speaker 1: need for us sex doll like kind of to teach

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Speaker 1: their own But it's just so specific. It's like we've

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Speaker 1: figured out, you know, analogs without having to you know,

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Speaker 1: go all out and get this weird, uncanny valley. I

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Speaker 1: just don't quite understand the appeal, especially nowadays, when they're like,

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Speaker 1: you know, thousands and thousands of dollars. There's that movie

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Speaker 1: large in the real Girl. Have you guys seen that with?

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Speaker 1: But yeah, sex sexy, mean boy. What's his name, Ryan Goslip? Yea, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he genuinely, you know, forms an attachment like an effect

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Speaker 1: to this, uh, this thing and that because it's it's

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Speaker 1: it's a very sweet film actually, but I think it

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Speaker 1: probably for some people there is a lack of touch,

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Speaker 1: lack of one on one, you know, skin on skin contact,

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Speaker 1: and maybe these things fill a role for which I

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Speaker 1: can totally understand. But in general, you know, for like

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Speaker 1: the Army, it seems like they're easier, you know, ways

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Speaker 1: to get this done and having to puzzle over what

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Speaker 1: the face is going to look like and all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: For the record, it's all about it if it's preventing

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Speaker 1: sexual violence. But do you guys, do you guys remember

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Speaker 1: the awesome show thirty Rock where James Crago appears as

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00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 1: spoiler alert, a guy who is pretending to have as

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00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: celebrity relationship because he's secretly in love with a body pillow.

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Speaker 1: It's like some of the best dialogue they have. But

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Speaker 1: while it seems like on balance it could be a

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Speaker 1: it's it's not for me idea, but it could be

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Speaker 1: a good idea. Um, if it's preventing violence, the thing

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Speaker 1: that gets me is just a really cheap point. Like

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Speaker 1: I live in a in a smaller, smaller abode. I

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Speaker 1: like multifunctional appliances, you know what I mean. I don't

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Speaker 1: like to get one thing that does one thing. So like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: sure you could do stuff that do brush not sex it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm thinking like if it made coffee, or if

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Speaker 1: it had like storage or something, that would be a

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Speaker 1: different conversation. But I guess they didn't get to that

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Speaker 1: point in testing, did they. I guess not. I would

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Speaker 1: like mine to not. You know, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: sex doll that's also like makes dinner and think you

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Speaker 1: know all these traditional things. I want a sex doll

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Speaker 1: that has a six figure income. Um, you know, it

355
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: goes off to work every day. I clean up around

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Speaker 1: the house, good credit, a nice car, a few credit cards.

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Speaker 1: I'll stay home, I'll clean, I'll cook time stories like

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00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 1: or something randomly. You know, now we're talking NOL. What

359
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: did you do with your Teddy ruxpan doll? That's my question. Leave,

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Speaker 1: that's the imagination listening public. No, I never actually had

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Speaker 1: a Teddy expenda. It's probably why I am the way

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Speaker 1: I am. Um, I was deprived. I was I believe

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Speaker 1: we had a thrift store one that didn't the cassette

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Speaker 1: didn't work. Oh yeah, I was all imagination. I believe

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Speaker 1: it was my dad years back, uh, under cover of night,

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Speaker 1: stuck in like a very very funked up cassette tape

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00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: that was like some sort of heavy metal and didn't

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Speaker 1: tell or my mom until she like set it up

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, you know, it wasn't this song,

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Speaker 1: but it was like tosome home like it with those

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Speaker 1: empty eyes and just sort of man, no, I think

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Speaker 1: it is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, we're in confession corner?

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Speaker 1: Is that a? Is that a corner you guys have?

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Speaker 1: Is there? We don't have confession corn yet, but maybe

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Speaker 1: we should. I didn't lose my virginity for intensive purposes

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Speaker 1: to one of those plush i Kea snakes, you know,

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Speaker 1: um back in the in the in the these they

378
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 1: were a lot more rudimentary and they were a little

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Speaker 1: more like they weren't as quite as fluffy as they

380
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Speaker 1: are now. But I had one on my Ikea bunk

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Speaker 1: bed um and I just sort it was just there's something,

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Speaker 1: you know, and there's all this what's happened? I'm so

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Speaker 1: much about my body? Oh wow, I do not remember mine.

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Speaker 1: M hmm, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, snake. It haunts

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Speaker 1: my dreams, you know, I do remember those little um,

386
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Speaker 1: those creepy little water snakes. You know, they were just

387
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: like a rubbery sleeve with inside outside themselves. That would

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00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: be a perfect fife. Yes, yeah, that may have been

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Speaker 1: the original design. And they just thought, we have to

390
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: we have to spin our marketing because we're creeping people out,

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00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: you know, like the way that people sell massage tools. Uh. Yeah,

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00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: they made little water snakes and said, you know what,

393
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Speaker 1: sell this to kids. Put in the Discovery Channel store. Yeah,

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00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: we need the children, so uh se dolls. Yeah, so

395
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: we can thank the Nazis, and I guess you can

396
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 1: also thank you know, let's not thank them, we can

397
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 1: also thank I guess the American and British forces who

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00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: destroyed the factories where they made these dolls during their

399
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: bomb raids of Dresden. So we don't have any I

400
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: guess we don't have an existing like legitt to the

401
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: front Line doll, but there was a similar I don't

402
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: think it was an actual sex doll, but it was

403
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 1: based on the design uh doll that was sold in

404
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 1: toy stores, and this woman, Ruth Handler, saw one and

405
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: thought it was a beautiful, like blonde, lovely woman and

406
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: decided to make a doll out of it in America.

407
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: And so that is the inspiration for the very first

408
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: Barbie doll. So actually Barbie doll. Barbie dolls were inspired

409
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: by Nazi sex dolls. Wow at all speaking of things

410
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 1: that were for adults, but then we're then marketed to

411
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, okay, so yeah, that's why Barbie is

412
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,120
Speaker 1: blonde with big boobs. She was originally meant to comfort

413
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: comfort soldiers fighting for Aryan values. God's sort of a

414
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: euphemism or like a kind of polite euphemism for a

415
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: a sex worker was a comfort woman? Yeah yeah in

416
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: the Pacific theater, Yeah, I guess they were comforted. I

417
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,360
Speaker 1: don't know if the women were very kind would think

418
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: were comforted by it, But I guess they provided. So

419
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm comfort Wow, I can. I'm hung up on Fifi

420
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: only because to me, Fifi a just from a childhood

421
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: of cartoons. Fifi is like a blue pool poodle. Yeah right, Well,

422
00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 1: now you know guys, not anymore. Never got poodles the

423
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: same way again, you're in that and that fifi would

424
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: be kind of that French spelling the f I f

425
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: I would be right, do you know it just spefi

426
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: stand like, is it the first part of something that

427
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: it is fully immersive flagrant? Fully immersive flagrant? No way,

428
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: it's fully improvised. Yeah, somebody helped me out with an eye.

429
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: Would I would make that second half a different f

430
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: word improvised? You got to text their friend Frank after this. Yes,

431
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 1: I'm so glad we clear that up. Thank you so much. Well,

432
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: I'm just glad to know that it's not just a

433
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 1: made up thing. I mean, it is all over the internet.

434
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: It clearly as kind of a term. It would be

435
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: weird if it would be weird if it was something

436
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: or pal frank just made up and tried to like

437
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: normalize us and slipped in the conversation. You know that

438
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: sometimes he does it with such authority that I believe

439
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: I believe Frankie's like this is like a big word

440
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: that people say. I'd be like, oh, okay, I guess

441
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: I better learn it real quickly to that shock. This

442
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: is a great spot for a break, we will be

443
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: right back, and we're back. But so, okay, I I

444
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: didn't know that, But I also didn't know a really

445
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: weird thing that you guys found about ancient Rome, like

446
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: the story of love never did run easy or true

447
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. And you know, this is

448
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,479
Speaker 1: a situation that happens in ancient relationships as well as

449
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: current ones. Sometimes people straight, sometimes they go go off

450
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: the rails, and for one, you're another find a different

451
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: lover outside of a committed relationship. Tail as old as time,

452
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: as old as time, and yeah, apparently in ancient Athens

453
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: and ancient Rome, both men and women who cheated on

454
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: their spouses could legally be killed if they were caught

455
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: like doing it, caught red handed or whatever hand, wherever

456
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: your hand is. But there was also another quote non

457
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:40,479
Speaker 1: lethal humiliating punishment reserved for male cheaters, where the husband

458
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: who had been cuckolded could legally sodomize the adulterer with

459
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: an audience if they want so. Sometimes that meant that

460
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:55,479
Speaker 1: they would be he would himself penetrate the other gentleman um.

461
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: But this ancient Rome and ancient Greece, I think that's

462
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: what happened. Remember in the last episode, I talked about

463
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,959
Speaker 1: the scene in Caligula where he does that to another man.

464
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: I believe it's that out of punishment for him having

465
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: done something along these lines, because it's very public and

466
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: like shaming. Kind of an eye for an eye, blink

467
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: for a blink, right. Well, And we did talk a

468
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: little bit point for a point. We did talk a

469
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: little bit in the first one about how it was

470
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: okay to have sex with men in ancient room, but

471
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: only if you're the top. So it was very humiliated

472
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: have anything put into your butt I guess, although you

473
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: could put whatever you wanted into a but no problem um.

474
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: And apparently, yeah, sometimes they would do it themselves, I guess,

475
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: but more often than not, the punishment took a symbolic

476
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: form where they would insert a radish into your butt hole.

477
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: Spy and the historian Vicky Leon says, quote, I call

478
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: it an ancient sting operation, since Greek radishes grew to

479
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: a healthy size and had a good bite to them,

480
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: So I guess it really stung in more ways than one. Yeah,

481
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: I gotta wonder if someone ever ever knew the risk

482
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: and said, like, I'll take the radish for it, you

483
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: know what. I mean like, yeah, this is worth it,

484
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: quick question. So if it was so, um, I guess

485
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: shaming or just like taboo to be on the receiving

486
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: end of this thing, does that mean that there were

487
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: like special boys that were designed for this purpose or

488
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: bread for this purpose. Essentially, you're gonna be my new

489
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: Radish boy. Get over here. Um. But Vicky Leon also

490
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: said that they, I guess probably to avoid this punishment.

491
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: There were some men who, you know, they were like,

492
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: I'm so randy, I just always ready to go. I

493
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: need some anti afro das acts to sort of help me.

494
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: I don't know herb my appetite, yeah, my enthusiasm. And

495
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: so men would eat lettuce, which was a salad leaf

496
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: thought to be a powerful antipotency drug at the time.

497
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let us always turns me off. Do you

498
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: eat it and you're just like well, like in our

499
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: our very first episode of this show, we talked about

500
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: Celery and how sexy Celery was supposed to be as

501
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: an aphrodisiac. Yeah. Back with them in France, Um, what's

502
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 1: her name, Madame de pompadour, uh, and all them they

503
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: thought Celary was was quite the aphrodisiac. Again, I don't

504
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: know why, but whatever works for you. Let us as

505
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: the inverse. I guess, yeah, when leafy one watery leafy

506
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: green to another, I guess, doesn't celery Like doesn't it

507
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: calorically expand more energety to eat than it provides? Anyway?

508
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: You know, I have a theory about aphrodisiacs based on

509
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: a asked conversation. I think it's all like independent marketing

510
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: from people who are dealing with their own situations, you know,

511
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: like it was was me, baby, it was the oysters,

512
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 1: you know how I get, or or maybe someone's like,

513
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 1: you know, I do think you're very attractive, very much

514
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: in love with you, but I just had a salad.

515
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's not you, it's not you. Is this

516
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: where tossing the salad comes from? Do you think I

517
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: always wondered about that? Yeah? I don't know what another day.

518
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: Perhaps me and my silly etymology questions always thet They're

519
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 1: always filthy, They're always filthy. Those are the fun etymologies

520
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: to track down. To be fair, Speaking of filthy, another

521
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 1: anti potency drug was cream made of mouse droppings. They

522
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: would spread I guess onto their anatoles, which I'm like,

523
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: just that never put ship on your dick. No, I

524
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: just feel like that's always a bad idea. And also, honestly,

525
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 1: all you have to say is cream made from mouse droppings,

526
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,720
Speaker 1: and I'm good. You don't need to rub it anywhere.

527
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: You've said it. The images in my head, I'm not

528
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,439
Speaker 1: gonna have sex for a month, Well that's that's also

529
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: like I think that's a hard anti aphrodisiac or that's

530
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: a very um that's like a self fulfilling prophecy, right,

531
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 1: because then it doesn't matter what kind of activity you

532
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: want to get up to. Anybody who is like, what's

533
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: a little mouse mouse poop between you know, between friends, Uh,

534
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: they're not going to be the kind of person you

535
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: want to sleep with. I'm just I hope that's not

536
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: a blanket statement. I hope nobody feels judged. But if

537
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 1: you're trying, if you're trying to like have a romantic

538
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: partner and you keep striking out, it might be the

539
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: mouse droppings. I'm just saying. Just yeah, Ben is trying

540
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: to say, try something new and just it's the scientific method.

541
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 1: See if you get the same results. Okay, so much

542
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: like the bread sticks in the episode one, I'm wondering

543
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: about the radishes. Speaking of salads, is you know, oh

544
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,879
Speaker 1: this salad is delicious. It's really turning me off. What's

545
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 1: in there? Well, fresh radishes right from the garden, rushed

546
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: out of some gardens, straight from the so not toss

547
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 1: the salad radishes as a form of punishment, slash abuse

548
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: anti afro das acts. I think that brings brings us

549
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 1: to one of the one of the things that I

550
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 1: was wondering about as well, which is chastity belts. Right.

551
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: That's that's an anti afrods act for sure. Right, even

552
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 1: if you want to, you can't do. Everybody loves chastity belts, right,

553
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: I mean I always think of Robin hood men in

554
00:36:55,719 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 1: tights of course any aspect and the ever last is hilarious. Um,

555
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 1: big iron underwear with a padlock on it. Right, we

556
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:09,319
Speaker 1: all remember these, this impenetrable guard against scoundrels and ne'er

557
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: do wells, uh, stopping sex in its tracks. The first

558
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 1: evidence of chastity belts goes all the way back to

559
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 1: the eleven hundreds. Um, now, Ben and all, we we

560
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: do a segment on this show sometimes when we we

561
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 1: have our main subject that we're talking about, but maybe

562
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: we're gonna sneak off with something else for just a

563
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: quick second. Uh, we're gonna take a little quick fling

564
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 1: with history. Lock him up and throw away the key.

565
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: So the Crusades, Uh, we've all heard of the Crusades, right,

566
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: That's where we're going to with this one, about a

567
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: three century period in Europe where Christians went out marching

568
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: across the lands to bring the good word of peace

569
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 1: and love about Christ. By um checking my notes here, Uh,

570
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: lots of stabbing. Basically stars and spears. Crusades, very Jesus like, Yeah,

571
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: obviously more complicated than that. We're not going to get

572
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: the whole history the Crusades here. But the thing that

573
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 1: step rid of the Crusades from other Christian religious wars

574
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: was that the prize for participating in one was free absolution.

575
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: Like you were absolved of your sins if you went

576
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: and fought in the Crusades. So there's all these dudes like,

577
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: what this is my chance I've been waiting around for

578
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: to someone absolve me of all my sins. Some some guy,

579
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: probably like Gregor the Smith, is like, I've got believe

580
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: I have sinned these rules for getting into heaven, But

581
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: dema broke every single one of them. And uh so

582
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: somebody says to him, Hey, you know what, come on down, Gregor,

583
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 1: sign up for the Crusades. You'll be free to go

584
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: get into heaven. All you gotta do is kill a

585
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: bunch of people for us. And everything's all set. But

586
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: but this guy, Gregor the Smith, he's worried while my

587
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: wife is back home. And of course, as we've all learned,

588
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 1: wandering uterus women can't go but a few months without sex.

589
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: So if he's off for years in the Crusades, how's

590
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: he going to stop this from happening. So he goes

591
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,320
Speaker 1: off to the blacksmith and or maybe he's the blacksmith.

592
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 1: I think we called him Gregor the Smith, all right,

593
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: And he starts forging and he makes this metal underwear

594
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 1: and he puts a big old padlock on it, straps

595
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: it around his wife and says, good luck getting railed now.

596
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: And he made a bunch of them passed him out

597
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 1: to all the other villagers the key, and uh it

598
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 1: was like the hottest item of the day. Everyone had one, right, Wow,

599
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 1: So ladies walking around with iron underwear just all through

600
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: all the Crusades, so that they wouldn't be cheating on

601
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: their husbands. The thing is, none of that happened. This

602
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: was all a story that was made up in the Renaissance.

603
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: So there was a Rancor article by Genevieve Carlton where

604
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: I got some info on this. She said quote one

605
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: of the favorite pastimes of folks in the Renaissance was

606
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:58,359
Speaker 1: laughing about the ignorance of the medieval period, right. They

607
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: wanted to feel superior. They're like, we're so educated, we

608
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: have a art, but our ancestors, well, they were so

609
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: dumb and mindless, and they came up with dumb stuff

610
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: like this chastity belt, and they invented these stories to

611
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: make their predecessors sound stupid basically, So it's just like

612
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: this dick ish, belittling move through time because they wanted

613
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 1: to say that these barbaric medieval people were, uh, you know,

614
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: just insecure and incapable of pleasing their wives, and that

615
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 1: their wives just constantly cheat on them. So they came

616
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: up with this idea for the chastity belt. That's so funny.

617
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: You think they'd be like, let's dunk on him by

618
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: being like, hey, you killed a lot of people. I'll

619
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: say the idea goes back earlier than that because in

620
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: the Roman times, uh there's Roman women would wear a

621
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: knotted belt that they would wear right up into their

622
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: wedding day and then the husband would ceremoniously un not

623
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: the belt. And so later on that belt kind of

624
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: endured and they even started sort of gilding it in metal.

625
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: So they think maybe they found these metal knotted belts

626
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: that survived history and said that's sort of where they

627
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: developed the concept for the chat that he built and

628
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: the Renaissance. So that that checks out. That sounds like

629
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: the historic game of telephone, you know, cover right with

630
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: prejudice against the past and what have you. But also

631
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: didn't this ultimately, I don't know how far ahead this is,

632
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 1: but didn't this ultimately like become a thing that people

633
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: wanted to do or some version of it, Like it's

634
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: isn't it like a fetish? At some point? To some

635
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: degree in the modern era, we've gotten more into that

636
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: where this sort of like forced chastity, uh, you know,

637
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: keeping someone under lock and key. From from my research,

638
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: it's seemed that that's more skewed towards penis having individuals

639
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 1: that there's a cage lock and for your lock up

640
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: your dick. So I guess so that you can't get

641
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: an erection or be stimulated at all, and your partner

642
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 1: walks away with the key and says not until I

643
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: say so. Um, well, kind of a power dynamic. Yeah, absolutely,

644
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 1: when you like hurt yourself with natural uh cycles of

645
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: two messence, you can break a dick. Absolutely. It has

646
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,919
Speaker 1: been one of my biggest questions about these, and I've

647
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 1: certainly never tried one. I don't know if anybody in

648
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 1: the list un of our listeners can right in and

649
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: let us know what that's like. If we get an

650
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: answering machine on that, I will be thrilled. Yes, what happens?

651
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 1: Can you bust out of these cages? Can you hulk out?

652
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: If they're not strong enough? It does look like they

653
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: have a hole to piece for for function, And I'll

654
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: say some of the old designs of chastis belts from

655
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: the Renaissance. There's this guy, Conrad Kaiser who wrote a

656
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: book in fourteen o five called The Bellafortis, which is

657
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: this military technology illustrated classic. He just drew all these

658
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:02,720
Speaker 1: crazy industrial military machines and he said, any other country

659
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: that sees this book is going to get scared and

660
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:08,760
Speaker 1: run away. But he also included the first known drawing

661
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: of a chastity belt, and it's got some gaps in

662
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 1: the front and back so that you know, I guess

663
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: you can do your business still, um, but not enough

664
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 1: to actually get penetrated. So the thing is his book

665
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: was also full of jokes. They're pretty sure that he

666
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: was making this as yet another joke in the Renaissance

667
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: about what medieval people were doing. He's got fart jokes

668
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:37,240
Speaker 1: in there, like the Onion of its time. Yeah magazine

669
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 1: or something, okay, magazine, Yeah, that's funny, Okay. And there's

670
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: there's Renaissance artwork again, all featuring chastity belts. It's always

671
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 1: the same thing. It's some man locking up his wife.

672
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: She's always topless, she's always tits out, you know, because

673
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 1: she's insatiable, Like, yeah, we lock up your vagina, but

674
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: your tits are free to row. These paintings always have

675
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,839
Speaker 1: like a guy sneaking around in the background, because they're

676
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: trying to show the futility of them. Usually the guy

677
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: in the background has is sneakily holding a key up

678
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 1: in the shadows like I've already get made a copy

679
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: foolish husband he never knew and made just the key

680
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 1: of So it's just, you know, just again, this is

681
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 1: perpetual joke out of the Renaissance, and it it just

682
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,320
Speaker 1: endured through the years to the point where we believed

683
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 1: it to be history for a long time. In fact,

684
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: the British Museum in the in the nineteen nineties was

685
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: taking down exhibits of chastity belt that they had just

686
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: assumed to be historically accurate, and when they dated the metal,

687
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: they discovered that these things were from like the late

688
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: eighteen hundreds, but then they said had belonged to Catherine

689
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: de Medici, the Queen of France of you know, back

690
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: in the sixteenth century. They thought this was her chastity belt,

691
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 1: and then they dated it. Oh, never mind, this is

692
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: from the nineteenth century. It was probably just a joke.

693
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like the Iron Maiden, which the

694
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: torture device that turns out to have been mostly fictitious

695
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: or doesn't make exactly. There was tons of like uh,

696
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: torture museums and exotic you know, uh oddities being sold

697
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: back then, and people literally just bought up some metal

698
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: built chastity belts and said come see this barbaric invention

699
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 1: that our medieval people came up with, ye totally false.

700
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 1: In fact, I will say that in the eighteenth century Mr.

701
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: Voltaire wrote a poem kind of mocking the whole idea

702
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: of chastity belts. We got another poem very excited. His

703
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: whole point in this poem was that it was foolish

704
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 1: to force fidelity by locking a woman up, and that

705
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,359
Speaker 1: the whole poem is pretty long. But what pulled out

706
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: a couple of selections here and I say we go

707
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 1: on down the poetry corner, and here a selection from

708
00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 1: Voltaire's poem The Padlock. Each cuckled soul who during life

709
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: did all he could to plague his wife. Then thus

710
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: declared a Florentine, most mighty monarch idopine for death. For

711
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 1: once a wife is dead, she can't defile the marriage bed.

712
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 1: But ast an immortal wife can never be deprived of

713
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: life a padlock. Therefore, I'd invent which should such accidents prevent?

714
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: She must be virtuous, of course, when under the restraint

715
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: of force, not to be come at by her elf.

716
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: You're sure to have her to yourself, which I had

717
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: thought before I died. Such a convenience to provide this

718
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: sage advice allowed applause from all the damned assembly draws

719
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do in my bain voice, and even Pluto's

720
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: self some pity felt when spouses for you, he made

721
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 1: fast and said you will now perforce to chaste this lock,

722
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: which hell caught frame alone soon to The human race

723
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 1: was known in Venice, Rome and all about it. No

724
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: gentleman or sits without it. Tis always though a method.

725
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: Sure all female honor too secure their husbands. Though some

726
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: sneerers mack keep virtue safe and underlock, but all his

727
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: jealous care is in vain. Love always knows his ends

728
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,240
Speaker 1: to gain that God will share a spouse or cause

729
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 1: he still protects who keeps his laws. For you have

730
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: given me your hearts and can't refuse me any parts.

731
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: Soccer vibes, get out, get creepy inside the house bad

732
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: times that He's like, it's clearly an accident. We want

733
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 1: to prevent these accidents where you trip and your dick

734
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: falls into my wife who left, who's cleaning around? But

735
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: against satire, Yes, exactly, yes, Voltaire totally mocking the whole

736
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: notion um has seemed to be all anyone was ever

737
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: really doing was kind of teasing about it. I'm imagining

738
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: like a thousand years from now, someone unearthing something from

739
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:36,360
Speaker 1: Spencer's gifts. I guess they really used this. So like,

740
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 1: do you guys remember the pin thing? There was a

741
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: big on your face, in your hands and a shape.

742
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: Someone's going to find that and be like, you know

743
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 1: what I think people were doing. I think they were

744
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: banging this thing, just like, let's write a poem about it.

745
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: I need to sell some books. Let's write a poem

746
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: about it. Man in the first century loved to take

747
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: a box of three thousand nails. Let his dick in.

748
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: Just go to Jim Rose circus side show kind of ship.

749
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 1: This is a great spot for a break. We'll be

750
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 1: right back, all right, welcome back to the show. But okay,

751
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: but Eli, we know that there are physical like artifacts

752
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 1: like somewhere along the line. Despite the story being untrue,

753
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: several people thought satire. No, they were like, I'm going

754
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: to make one though, right yeah, And typically again these

755
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 1: were made mostly four show um, whether it being sold

756
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: off in a museum or send out one of these

757
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: oddity tours. The idea was that they were always made

758
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 1: as fakes from history. In fact, historian curator Leslie Smith

759
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 1: said quote, I have traveled abroad and looked at art

760
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: collect and as yet haven't seen a chastity belt that

761
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: can be proved to be in medieval origin. So, as

762
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: far as anyone can tell, all these manufactured chastity belts

763
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: were made as basically a historical prank. Don't buy those

764
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 1: vintage chastis belts on Amazon. They're not worth it. Uh Yeah.

765
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: British Museum the Cleaning Museum in France both have had

766
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: to take down exhibits of chastity belts that they had

767
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,280
Speaker 1: previously said were historical objects and then found out Nope,

768
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: these were totally bogus. That's embarrassing and I love that that,

769
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 1: Like you mentioned Ben that that that today we've turned

770
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 1: it all around and we've made them for for pleasure devices,

771
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: almost the opposite of their original supposed intention. That's true.

772
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 1: That is funny. It was originally meant to keep you

773
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: from having sex, and now it's like this is part

774
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 1: of the sex and it's super hot, Tan trick. Now

775
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 1: your sex is ten hours long. So I do wanna,

776
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: I do want to give some shout outs to our

777
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: our off fair friends who reacted a bit strangely when

778
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: they heard and no, I don't know if you had

779
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: this conversation too, but fact a bit strangely when uh,

780
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: we were going to hang out and I said, oh, yeah, no,

781
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 1: I gotta we're doing a two part thing on sex toys,

782
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: and and they this is multiple people. They were like,

783
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: you mean like you and ol or getting together to

784
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: talk about sex toys or it was like no, we're

785
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: we're we're hanging out with some other people too. I

786
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,720
Speaker 1: just made it worse. But are married friends, are married

787
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 1: friends were all going to do sex toys together us

788
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: into their relationships. Very progressive. I love it. I did

789
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: see someone on Twitter be like, I we said it

790
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: some about a two parter, and they were like, isn't

791
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: that called a double? A double? Fister? Shout out to fister.

792
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,840
Speaker 1: That's the thing. Um unrelated, totally related. I went in

793
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 1: researching some of the stuff. I found a place that

794
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:14,759
Speaker 1: I think we should all figure out a way to

795
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: take a field trip to. In San Francisco there is

796
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 1: a museum, uh for sex toys, and it's called Good

797
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 1: Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum specifically. And then of course in

798
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 1: in New York. The Museum of Sex is really cool.

799
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: I've actually been there. Uh. And they have like all

800
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: kinds of vintage porn and and sex toys and all

801
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: these guys. I mean, it's really just fascinating and it's

802
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 1: a very very naughty and body Uh. And they have

803
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: a gift shop at the end where you know, if

804
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: you can imagine what they say there. But yeah, I

805
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: don't know if it was a permanent name, but it was.

806
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 1: It was there when I was there. It was a

807
00:52:52,080 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 1: bouncy house made of everybody said. There's also I think

808
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 1: there's the Vagina Museum I believe is in England, probably

809
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: in London, but I follow their Twitter account and it's

810
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: really awesome, isn't it the Fannie Museum in London? There

811
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 1: it is Fanny I thought was a but no, no,

812
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. That's why Fannie Pack is hilarious

813
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 1: to all our British friends. Okay, that would be that

814
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: the vagina is already its own fanny pack. Another like

815
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: kind of naughty er. I think that fantasy This is

816
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 1: this sort of slangy but the word minge oh yeah, yeah,

817
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: it's just so visceral sounding. Yeah. While we're on tour.

818
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: While you take the Ridiculous Universe on a museum tour,

819
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 1: we should also stop by Iceland. Do you see the

820
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 1: Penis Museum. Oh sure, yeah. I love how open we

821
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 1: all are. Everybody's like, oh yeah, yeah, I don't listen down.

822
00:53:54,920 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm down for that. Hey, I'll see a museum of anything. Yea. Honestly,

823
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 1: the weirder museums are really more fun. The more niche

824
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,760
Speaker 1: the better because it's took some real weirdos to curate

825
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 1: that stuff. You know, like the Museum of Death. I

826
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 1: think it's one of my favorites of all. There's one

827
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, and there's one in New Orleans, and there's

828
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 1: the Museum. There's like the Museum of Murder. There's the

829
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: Museum of Jurassic Technology, which is uh super cool. I

830
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,399
Speaker 1: think we can. I'll check out one in the world.

831
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: We're on the West coast, but I feel you guys.

832
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: I love like you were saying incredibly specific museums. It's

833
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 1: why I'm slow on road trips because if I if

834
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 1: I'm like passing, we did a show on this for

835
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 1: stuff they want you to know. But if I'm like passing,

836
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 1: just some beat up sign that is like the official

837
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,800
Speaker 1: uh the I'm thinking the most ridiculous thing, like the

838
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: official Museum of left Shoes throughout history, guaranteed no writings.

839
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 1: Then I'm like, there goes the afternoon. You know, I

840
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 1: gotta go see. I love it. Have you seen the

841
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 1: Bigfoot Museum in the Curious It's real cool. Niche The

842
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 1: guy that runs it, David. What's the guy's name that

843
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 1: runs up him? David? He is the quintessential niche interest focused,

844
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 1: you know, museum curator. He does such a good job.

845
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 1: Like the exhibits there are very much just inspired by

846
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:31,320
Speaker 1: I think, like you know, vintage Disney kind of Epcot

847
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 1: type vibes, you know, like Hall of President type. I

848
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,479
Speaker 1: mean it's really really well done and uh, I highly

849
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 1: recommend anybody passing through check out. I guess the museum.

850
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: I guess. My question is where's the Bigfoot sex toy museum?

851
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: That's that's the natural progression. This this could be our

852
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 1: contribution to museum sciences. We could make the Bigfoot. Is

853
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 1: there is there a Bigfoot chat that he built? We

854
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: can make one can apparently just make him up, So

855
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 1: just make one. Have anyone was gonna hulk their way

856
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 1: out of with chastity about though it's gonna be a

857
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 1: big foot, you can contain those fellas they are. It's

858
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: not just you know, big big shoes. This has definitely

859
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: altered I don't know about you know, but this is

860
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 1: altered a lot of the conversations that I'm having in

861
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:31,879
Speaker 1: the future. I am. I've learned a lot. I don't

862
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 1: know if I wanted to learn all of it, uh,

863
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 1: but now I can't. It's our shows, sweet spots, stuff

864
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: you made thought of, you wanted to know about, you didn't. Really,

865
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm starting a nonprofit for goats. This is not it's

866
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: really the things that the stuff we've learned about goats

867
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,360
Speaker 1: on this show, it's unreasonable. Yeah, I think we did it.

868
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 1: We've talked about every sex toy in history. No, that's

869
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: not true. Now there's a whole other episode getting dedicated

870
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: to vibrators. Yes, in pornography. Also, I liked all the

871
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 1: porn and brothel stuff out. But it's also very fascinating.

872
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 1: H Well, what a ride. I learned a lot about

873
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 1: the mind, the body, society, and goats. Man. I'm still

874
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: I'm still hung up on it. I'm I'm worried about him. Yeah,

875
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 1: the goats definitely. You know, when elephants fight, the goats

876
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 1: are the ones who suffer. Isn't that how the expression goes?

877
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 1: You get there? Yeah? Plus yeah, yeah, it's weird like

878
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 1: for some reason, I just can't sit straight either. I

879
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on. Oh buddy, oh man, I

880
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 1: might have taken let's let's move along. Seriously. He was

881
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: thanks to Diana and Eli for bringing us along on

882
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: that raunchy and educational ride. Rawn vacational. It was a

883
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Yeah, Rawn vacational. But I mean that's

884
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: the thing though, you know, history is is is it

885
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: is just talk full of this stuff. I mean, ever

886
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: since people have, you know, figured out that they had parts,

887
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 1: they've been figuring out how to put stuff in them. Yes, yes,

888
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 1: well said. And also we wanna we wanted to say

889
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 1: that Eli and Diana were so kind to have us on.

890
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: We had such a fun time that we're gonna have

891
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 1: them on in the future. Love their energy, love their chemistry,

892
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: and actually also I gotta say I love the research

893
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: they conduct. These are smart, witty people, and I feel

894
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 1: like they would want they I feel like they want

895
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 1: both of us to note that it's it's not always sex.

896
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,439
Speaker 1: There's more to romance than sex, so you are gonna

897
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: find it's just a fascinating way to explore history. I

898
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: think ridiculous Romance. So thanks to them. Do check it out.

899
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,520
Speaker 1: When do us a favorite, go subscribe to their show.

900
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 1: Let us know what your favorite episodes of Ridiculous Romance are.

901
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: You can let us know on our Facebook page Ridiculous Historians.

902
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 1: One of the best places is on the internet. Uh,

903
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: that's official as of two. We got the award in January.

904
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: We also made the award uh and gave it to ourselves.

905
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, but we're also all over the

906
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: internet if you want to find us, not just as

907
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: a show, but as individuals. The rumors are true, Mr

908
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 1: Noel Brown, I hear you're on Instagram. Who's spread and rumors?

909
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 1: Who's saying all this stuff? It was track them down.

910
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 1: It was a grackle in Austin. Oh my god, have

911
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: you guys heard of? The grackle are everywhere. They're like,

912
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 1: you know how I feel about birds. I mean, we

913
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: were in tacos at torches tacos shout out really great tacos.

914
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 1: But um, these guys they're beautiful. They have these iridescent

915
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,440
Speaker 1: feathers to the point where they like they turn a

916
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,919
Speaker 1: certain direction in the light. They almost change colors entirely.

917
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 1: But they're really bold, much bolder than your average pigeon.

918
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: And Um, this guy was just I and me amazing,

919
00:59:54,440 --> 01:00:00,120
Speaker 1: literally like direct contact with UM for a taco at

920
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 1: the Grackle. You're not gonna find any bird content on

921
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: my page, but if you want to find some, you know, uh,

922
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 1: thirteen year old goth kid content. I say this because

923
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: I am the proud father of a thirteen year old.

924
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 1: She said she would, she would, she would take issue

925
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 1: with that. I don't know what she is. She doesn't

926
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 1: listen to she doesn't actually to podcast. You can find

927
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 1: me on Instagram exclusively where I am at. How now,

928
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 1: Noel Brown, Ben Boland, Where can people find you? Well,

929
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 1: if you want, this will be funny. I don't know

930
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,520
Speaker 1: if you guys saw this, but late last night I

931
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 1: happened to cross a seller with the padlock undone. I'm

932
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: not going to reveal the location in this place, but

933
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 1: I went down into the depths and the seller was

934
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 1: much larger than it appeared. I believe it actually goes

935
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: under the street. I got to the point where I

936
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 1: might actually need some rope to continue, like we might

937
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 1: be in a splunking situation. You can check that out

938
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 1: on just an HP Lovecraft story. You're describing that. No,

939
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: this is like if you go to my story right now,

940
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: you can see it. Uh, it's weird. You can see

941
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 1: this in my more of my behind the scenes adventures

942
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:19,920
Speaker 1: and misadventures and occasionally brushes with authorities, as well as

943
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 1: research I'm doing for upcoming episodes and secret projects. APT

944
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 1: been bowling bow l I and on Instagram. You can

945
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 1: also talk with me directly there, or you can find

946
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 1: me on Twitter where I'm at ben Bowling h s W.

947
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: And while you're on Twitter, why not check out that

948
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:38,920
Speaker 1: Mr Max Williams. Yes, I am on Twitter. I am

949
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 1: at a t L underscore Max Williams. You can you

950
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 1: know Seev trolling Bend or you know, retweeting and commenting

951
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: on Eli and Diana, who are amazing and are both

952
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:51,560
Speaker 1: on Twitter as well. You can also see the formation

953
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 1: of our um are burgeoning nemesis kind of relationship that

954
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 1: we're both really trying to cultivate and tend to with care.

955
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 1: Um I'm getting I'm out on Twitter. You won't find

956
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 1: anything about that. You just maybe find Max tweeting into

957
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: the void at me, but probably not. I couldn't say

958
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: you can. You can also, of course, find our pals

959
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime, Zarin and Elizabeth on Twitter, so say hi

960
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 1: to them. I feel like we're listening off a lot

961
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 1: of Twitter people, uh, a lot of twitteration. But the

962
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 1: point is you can find us. Love to talk to you,

963
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Universe, Ridiculous News, Ridiculous Crime, and of course, of

964
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: course the lovely folks you just heard at Ridiculous Romance.

965
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 1: We have come a long way, no, both as a

966
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 1: show and as and in terms of our well, our knowledge,

967
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 1: of our knowledge of sex toys, and we hope you

968
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 1: have to We'll see you next time, folks. For more

969
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 1: podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

970
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.