Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol and gay a.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off InStyle. We want to
Speaker 3: welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 4: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 4: Porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to
Speaker 4: Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Colgareth.
Speaker 4: We are reporting to you. I almost said we're reporting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're reporting live.
Speaker 4: It's just in I forgot how to podcast and now.
Speaker 1: In your newscaster. At home, that's what they're all doing
Speaker 1: these days.
Speaker 4: I uh, yeah, we are at home. We are not
Speaker 4: in a car. We don't know how long we'll be home.
Speaker 4: But we're enjoying it, right, guys.
Speaker 1: I love it. I feel like we like in maybe
Speaker 1: a month when they've lifted restrictions or they we know things, Yeah,
Speaker 1: for better or worse, Yes, no fucking anything. Did you
Speaker 1: see the article that came out where a lot of
Speaker 1: states are just faking their numbers so that it looks
Speaker 1: like things are going better than they are.
Speaker 4: To help the economy. That's horrifying, which states, let's point fingers.
Speaker 1: No, don't. I don't know if they point fingers in
Speaker 1: it or it's like a bunch of them where it's
Speaker 1: like the ones. It's crazy, it's crazy. But anyway, my
Speaker 1: point is that when we finally do have a handle
Speaker 1: on what's really happening in the risk or whatever, I
Speaker 1: feel like this is the most COVID nineteen safe podcast.
Speaker 1: The three of us in a car. Oh totally, But yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't risk it in the middle of the pandemic.
Speaker 1: But I mean, right, I feel like we're going to
Speaker 1: be able to be normal again sooner than Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think you're right. Yeah, I just a few more episodes,
Speaker 4: I bet, and we I would safely get in a
Speaker 4: car with both of you. I would feel safe.
Speaker 1: I would feel safe, except for that's the problem, rights
Speaker 1: that then we'd have to all know that we're asymptomatic.
Speaker 4: I will get a test. Yeah, I mean we'd.
Speaker 1: Have to know we're negative tested. Not because I can
Speaker 1: still be positive and asymptomatic.
Speaker 4: Or pre symptomatic. That's the other one, like thettle that
Speaker 4: window a time where you know there's two weeks there
Speaker 4: where they wouldn't even be able to tell you, right, yep,
Speaker 4: but who knows, They don't even know. No one knows anything.
Speaker 1: One knows anything during the pandemic.
Speaker 4: Let's make more soup. I made. I made soup, a
Speaker 4: big I just soup is the best thing to make
Speaker 4: because you just throw vegetables in. And now that I'm
Speaker 4: paying attention and not trying to make videos, I'm getting
Speaker 4: pretty good at it. But I just bought a random
Speaker 4: collection of vegetables because this this farmer's market down the
Speaker 4: street from me opened up and I went down there
Speaker 4: and it was horrifying. I didn't feel comfortable there.
Speaker 1: How many people were there tons.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was enough to feel like that we shouldn't
Speaker 4: be there. But I had a mask on and I'm
Speaker 4: not near anyone, and I need to remember, you need
Speaker 4: to get someone's fluids in your face, prop or touch
Speaker 4: your face or whatever. I'm careful, but I think I
Speaker 4: just feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you should.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But I made this soup and it was great
Speaker 4: and it was hot, and I but I was hungry,
Speaker 4: and I grabbed the bowl anyway, and I'm like, I'll
Speaker 4: make it to my living room where I eat like
Speaker 4: a college student. I eat on my couch and it
Speaker 4: halfway there, I realized it was going to be too
Speaker 4: hot for me to handle it any longer, and I
Speaker 4: knowingly I just had to let go of it. It
Speaker 4: was too hot, and I flipped perfectly flipped this bowl
Speaker 4: of soup onto my carpet. Just it suction cupped like
Speaker 4: to where I picked the bowl up, and the rest
Speaker 4: of the soup came pouring out. It landed perfectly to
Speaker 4: where it was contained.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of a chowder. It sounds like it.
Speaker 1: It was in there and like a slow drip.
Speaker 4: It was thick because I added quite quite a few
Speaker 4: legumes or lentils rather, so yeah, that gave it some girth.
Speaker 4: So in mid air it kind of stayed, stayed collected
Speaker 4: to its legoome glue, and so I had to take
Speaker 4: my carpet out and scrub it. It looks great. I'm
Speaker 4: glad it happened. I'm glad.
Speaker 1: You know what these negatives have. Positive attachments were to
Speaker 1: open them and download them.
Speaker 4: But the real exactly right when it hit the carpet,
Speaker 4: I said, finally, because I knew I need I like
Speaker 4: it to clean this carpet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, washer woman from the seventeen hundreds.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that muddy footprint wasn't doing it the past four months.
Speaker 1: No, you can get used to stuff like that easy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, soup is.
Speaker 1: I was gonna make you feel better though, about eating
Speaker 1: like a college student in your living room, because That's
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, and I know it's what Steven's doing. No,
Speaker 1: but I was going to say, there's been a couple
Speaker 1: of times where I have sat at my dining room
Speaker 1: table and it makes me feel like Dracula alone at
Speaker 1: a dining room table to eat my casandia or whatever
Speaker 1: weird dumb thing that I've made. Is it's too sad.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like I might as well put on
Speaker 1: a fucking wedding dress to eat this thing. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? You have to eat in front of
Speaker 1: the TV. Yeah, if you're by.
Speaker 4: Yourself, totally. Yeah, you're right. You're just sitting at a
Speaker 4: table waiting for that for that newspaper writer to come
Speaker 4: to a story about you so you can lure them
Speaker 4: and suck their blood.
Speaker 1: You're just sitting at your table having conversations with people
Speaker 1: that are not there. I mean, I'm not above that
Speaker 1: at all. I really like this is a great time
Speaker 1: to practice any interview that you might want to do.
Speaker 1: You know, I like you did you ever use to
Speaker 1: practice paneling on Letterman just in your apartment.
Speaker 4: The thing I always practice was end of the movie
Speaker 4: death scenes, where I just lay on the ground quietly
Speaker 4: and Tryan's caste still while the credits rolled. I don't
Speaker 4: know why. That was a fun game. And then my
Speaker 4: sister and I would re enact just the end of
Speaker 4: the Hulk, where maybe we would have a fight and
Speaker 4: I'd throw a pillow or something a pitdle h and
Speaker 4: then and then I would turn back to David Banner
Speaker 4: and then she would sing the closing credits up the
Speaker 4: show like home them, and then I would pretend to hitchhike.
Speaker 4: That was a game. That's a game that you played
Speaker 4: before anyone had toys of any kind. We would reenact
Speaker 4: the Hulk.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think because TV was so new and fun
Speaker 1: and you could only watch it from seven o'clock to whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, like your yeah, yeah, there was a ways
Speaker 1: it was a regulated thing and whatever that I we
Speaker 1: did shit like that all the time, whereas like kids
Speaker 1: these days are like why would you reenact the thing?
Speaker 1: You can just go watch your like watch professionals do.
Speaker 1: But but that also reminds me. I was in a
Speaker 1: play one time and I played a character that got stabbed.
Speaker 1: It was like a murder mystery thing. It was pretty funny,
Speaker 1: and I played this character that get stabbed in the
Speaker 1: back and so the lights go out, the lights come
Speaker 1: back on, and I'm sitting in a chair with my
Speaker 1: eyes open, and then they realize I'm dead. So I
Speaker 1: had to sit with my eyes open with no expression
Speaker 1: on my face for two full minutes before the scene ended.
Speaker 1: And so every night I would be sitting there and
Speaker 1: it'd be like I would try as hard as I
Speaker 1: could not to blink, and that I would always blink,
Speaker 1: or sometimes my eyes would water, and one time I
Speaker 1: just started laughing because it was so hard. It was
Speaker 1: like and they would be like, you know, like the
Speaker 1: director of the play, who was awesome, And it was
Speaker 1: really cool that I even got to be in this
Speaker 1: play because it was sach City Theater Sacramento City Actors Theater,
Speaker 1: which was very cool and like whatever, So I really
Speaker 1: was like, wanted to do a good job, and they'd
Speaker 1: be like, you know, there was a guy that had
Speaker 1: to lay on stage dead for fifteen minutes with his
Speaker 1: eyes open, and you know some Shakespeare in like the
Speaker 1: seventies in New York City or whatever. And I'd be like, well,
Speaker 1: I simply can't do it. I don't know how that
Speaker 1: guy did it, because it's fucking impossible, but I would
Speaker 1: do it for a really long time.
Speaker 4: I love the idea that that is the highest level
Speaker 4: you can reach with acting, is to convincingly play a
Speaker 4: dead person.
Speaker 1: Because senior year at Juilliard, that's all you do is
Speaker 1: you keep your eyes open for as long as you can.
Speaker 4: A lot of people are curling up and blooming like
Speaker 4: a flower and doing those exercises, But at my acting school,
Speaker 4: we'd laid their.
Speaker 1: Dead Can You Be Dead? For the full credits and
Speaker 1: the song? Do you remember what Lisa would sing how
Speaker 1: that song went?
Speaker 4: I do not remember. I bet she would though, because
Speaker 4: that was her role.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a it's in there.
Speaker 4: It was a sad string section like bum you Out,
Speaker 4: like the mash theme song type music, Yes, or high
Speaker 4: Way to Heaven. They all had these really just bummer
Speaker 4: soundtracks and they.
Speaker 1: All involved Michael Landon somehow, Yeah have them did. He
Speaker 1: had his hand in a lot of those shows.
Speaker 4: And I'm glad he did.
Speaker 1: I for it.
Speaker 4: I feel like I was partially raised by Michael Landon.
Speaker 4: You were my dad. It's always been like an atheist
Speaker 4: or we didn't talk about God and church and things
Speaker 4: like that, but we watched Highway to Heaven religiously. That
Speaker 4: was our church. That was when we would open oursel
Speaker 4: aside from Christmas, that's when we'd open ourselves up to
Speaker 4: the spiritual world because that was their boss. And we're like, okay,
Speaker 4: I'm okay if he's the boss, and a TV show
Speaker 4: I'm okay with.
Speaker 1: And there's the old football player was on there too.
Speaker 1: He was the sidekick, the.
Speaker 4: Guy with the beer, Victor French.
Speaker 1: That's he's from all oh oh Affair, Oh yes, yes,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I forget his name right now.
Speaker 4: God that Merlin Olsen.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh shit, No, Merlin Olsen was on Little House
Speaker 1: Land Purrie.
Speaker 4: He was a football player though he was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, that's that's who I was thinking of.
Speaker 1: But the guy that was on Highway to Heaven was
Speaker 1: the comedy version of Merlin Olson, like Marlin Olsen was.
Speaker 4: And that was Victor French. That was his sidekick, and
Speaker 4: that guy was on was it? Yeah? Yeah, he was
Speaker 4: on other shows too. He was like he was on
Speaker 4: some other show with Michael Land and he like brought
Speaker 4: him along with him to be on Highway. Probably, but
Speaker 4: it is a weird name. As I say it, I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm wrong now, but I'm pretty sure it
Speaker 4: was Victor French.
Speaker 1: There were church friends. Well, Steven, did you look it up?
Speaker 4: Stephen?
Speaker 1: Sometimes he'll do.
Speaker 4: That, Yeah, Steven, Sorry, Steven, I.
Speaker 1: Thought you were sitting there smiling because you had the answer.
Speaker 5: No, I don't even I didn't even.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 1: Yes, my favorite moment spending time with millennials and the youngsters.
Speaker 5: I usually can keep up, but that one. I apologize.
Speaker 1: You've never heard of Highway to Heaven.
Speaker 5: Or the Hulk Victor French? What the whole But Victor
Speaker 5: French was in Highway to Heaven?
Speaker 4: Sorry? Sorry, Chris, It's okay. I'm just a walking uh
Speaker 4: encyclopedia of useless knowledge?
Speaker 1: You really are? I was thinking, mister French, he was
Speaker 1: the butler on a family affair, which is really old, Stephen.
Speaker 1: That's like that was my earliest memories as watching family.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that was I don't remember family affair.
Speaker 1: They were like it was a dad Brian, not Danny
Speaker 1: Brian somebody. And he had three kids. Sissy was the
Speaker 1: oldest sister and she was way the fuck older than
Speaker 1: Buffy and Jodie, who were the young children. And then
Speaker 1: they had a butler named mister French. Do you remember this.
Speaker 4: I remember talking about it, yes.
Speaker 1: Sebastian Abbott. He was my first young crush that I
Speaker 1: didn't tell anybody about because I was look at I
Speaker 1: loved him.
Speaker 4: That was your crush.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I was like seven, I was like, you
Speaker 1: can't tell anyone this is dirty because he was not.
Speaker 1: He was no Seawan Cassidy to play that. He's like
Speaker 1: a big old fat guy that stood by the door
Speaker 1: and was like I see very much so.
Speaker 4: And you were thinking he should be on the cover
Speaker 4: at teen Beat.
Speaker 1: Where's Sebastian Abbot? Please leave Garretts.
Speaker 4: I am talking to myself though, like I'm watching movies
Speaker 4: and reacting to things and saying like I just watched
Speaker 4: all of Rectify, which is good, so good, Yeah, I
Speaker 4: loved it. And then towards the end it's just a
Speaker 4: lot of family dialogue, and it's like, wait, am I
Speaker 4: watching a soap opera? But I still loved it and
Speaker 4: I'm looking forward to the new season. That's why I
Speaker 4: had to catch up. But I was reacting to things
Speaker 4: like saying out loud, but no, but he cares about you,
Speaker 4: like I'm saying that out loud, and then sitting there like, oh,
Speaker 4: I've reached that point. I'm actually responding to things like
Speaker 4: there's someone sitting next to me.
Speaker 1: Uh, don't judge yourself. I think it's very natural. Also,
Speaker 1: if you get a pet, cat or dog, then all
Speaker 1: the weird feelings about that go away because you're just
Speaker 1: talking to your pet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I have full fucking conversations with both of my
Speaker 1: pets about what I'm doing, what they're doing, what we
Speaker 1: could be doing. Like I have no shame anymore.
Speaker 4: I should foster or something before I because I feel
Speaker 4: like if I get a cat or something, I'm just
Speaker 4: going to be end up on the road again in
Speaker 4: a year.
Speaker 1: But not for two years. You have time two years now?
Speaker 4: Oh god, Well.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be realistic.
Speaker 4: No, you are being realistic. Yeah, I should just for
Speaker 4: the sake that I have someone to talk to.
Speaker 1: The other day, I walked by George was outside sitting
Speaker 1: in the sun, which is one of my I love
Speaker 1: that sheet. Like She's like, if I have my choice,
Speaker 1: I'll be sitting out there right in the sun. And
Speaker 1: so I walked by and she kind of like lifted
Speaker 1: her head and watched me walk by, and I gave
Speaker 1: her a thumbs up sun. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: that was crazy of you. That was weird crazy. But
Speaker 1: it was just like, I can't I say hi every
Speaker 1: time I see them. Yeah, I ask them what kind
Speaker 1: of dog there? Every time I see them, I tell
Speaker 1: them you're the big one and you're the little one.
Speaker 1: Every time I see them.
Speaker 4: Which those things they appreciate, like you're talking to them,
Speaker 4: but a thumb's up really doesn't register. They're actually a
Speaker 4: fantic and they're like, yeah, keep showing you have an
Speaker 4: opposable digit. That rub it in my face.
Speaker 1: I am bragging, fully bragging. Should we do It's We've
Speaker 1: decided guys to do a Q and A again. As
Speaker 1: we told you last week. We gave you a teaser
Speaker 1: and a cliffhanger.
Speaker 4: Yeah, should we do it?
Speaker 1: Chris?
Speaker 4: Yes, I think we should.
Speaker 1: Or do you have more? Do you have anything else
Speaker 1: to report? How's the hair? It looks a little bit
Speaker 1: smaller it is.
Speaker 4: I showered and this is just a leave in conditioner.
Speaker 4: Actually it's a regular conditioner. But any kind is leave
Speaker 4: in if you don't wash it out. And uh so
Speaker 4: it is a little bit.
Speaker 1: Are you doing bits?
Speaker 4: No special? Oh, it's just the way I Hey, I
Speaker 4: appreciate you even thinking that. It's just the way I talk.
Speaker 4: I know that seemed like a finished closer.
Speaker 1: It is amazing.
Speaker 4: But yes, I do just leave in regular conditioner and
Speaker 4: uh you know, all rent it out later when I shower.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'd love to know the plan if you could
Speaker 1: write it up and just email me and Stephen.
Speaker 4: I ordered new products. I yeah, I'm I got some
Speaker 4: oils I gotta leave in. I got some face seer
Speaker 4: them great. Yeah, I gotta get ready for when I'm
Speaker 4: out in public.
Speaker 1: For your zoom. You gotta get zoom beautiful. It's the new. Oh,
Speaker 1: no one steal that. That's mine. Zoom beautiful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, see you do it too. That's a that's a bit.
Speaker 4: Take it to the.
Speaker 1: Stage, take it to another zoom conversation. I was going
Speaker 1: to say, we should talk about the two things your
Speaker 1: special upcoming. Yes, but and then in the meantime I
Speaker 1: retweeted it, you tweeted it. But if if our listeners
Speaker 1: of do need to ride to Dinea or sore if
Speaker 1: you she said it, she said, if you haven't seen
Speaker 1: it already, Chris is the star of a show that
Speaker 1: is so fucking funny it is. Ay, it's twenty two
Speaker 1: minutes long, right he Mike up Trips made it like
Speaker 1: it's an episode of Chews.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. We ideally we wanted each episode to be
Speaker 4: some repurposed movie and then legally felt like it would
Speaker 4: have to be a public domain movie. So we were
Speaker 4: looking at all those weird sixties Harvey Korman like action movies. Yes,
Speaker 4: because one all those people are dead, and then also
Speaker 4: they literally are public domain for free use, like they're
Speaker 4: in a library somewhere. Yeah, whereas when we did Cocktail,
Speaker 4: we just thought we were gonna get sued by scientology.
Speaker 4: But so yeah, he found that movie and the ideally, yeah,
Speaker 4: each episode would be an edited down version of a
Speaker 4: movie with comedic actors green screened in.
Speaker 1: It's so good. Okay, it's what Sorry, it's.
Speaker 4: Hell Freeway to Freeway to Hell, not Highway to Hell.
Speaker 4: That's a terrible ACDC song. But that'll come up if
Speaker 4: you google it.
Speaker 1: It will. Yeah, that's what happened to me because I
Speaker 1: wanted to retweet it myself, not your retweet, so I
Speaker 1: could make a comment. And then I think you work
Speaker 1: that way. But it's Freeway to Hell, and it's basically
Speaker 1: Chris comedians, John dor Emily Maya Mills, other hilario, Ron
Speaker 1: Lynch hilarious comics. They've been basically green screened into this
Speaker 1: old biker movie. And it's also and the director is
Speaker 1: Mike Upchurch, right, yes.
Speaker 4: Yeah he did. Also he's it's.
Speaker 1: So brilliant and it opens what they call it. It's
Speaker 1: called electric theater.
Speaker 4: Electric television would be electric television, the possible name of
Speaker 4: a series of those.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then so there's there's trailers for other things
Speaker 1: like it's done so fucking well, and it is so
Speaker 1: I told Chris this already, but I when I watched it, everybody,
Speaker 1: I think these days, you see a video and it's
Speaker 1: over three minutes, you're like, oh please, I don't have
Speaker 1: the time or whatever, but time. Yeah, I think everyone is.
Speaker 1: And this is I tell you, it was not it
Speaker 1: did not feel like as long as it is. It's
Speaker 1: so funny, it's everyone in it is so good, and
Speaker 1: it's like I was so proud of everybody.
Speaker 4: Was so exciting. Thank you so much. It really meant
Speaker 4: a lot to me. When you texted and said I
Speaker 4: had to actually clarify, like I knew what you were
Speaker 4: talking about. It's the only thing I've done or that
Speaker 4: was finished that day. I'm like, are you talking about
Speaker 4: Freeway to Hell?
Speaker 1: And I really because I just started texting this is
Speaker 1: so hilarious. Oh my god, thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I and Mike Judge was great and did all
Speaker 4: the all the voiceovers for all the and he sounds
Speaker 4: like a different person for each one, Like even the
Speaker 4: trailers for the upcoming Midnight movie that was his voice.
Speaker 4: And he's the guy on the radio in it. He's
Speaker 4: the guy in the in the industrial video in the
Speaker 4: beginning doing that sixties narration. He and you can't tell
Speaker 4: it's him, Like I always.
Speaker 1: Feel like I wouldn't have known.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when he's talking, I can always hear a little
Speaker 4: bit of Beavis or Buttead. I'm not sure when, but uh,
Speaker 4: but yeah, he's really good at that. And that's why
Speaker 4: I asked him to do it, and then, you know,
Speaker 4: I don't like asking people to do things, but he said, yeah,
Speaker 4: I think I think I'd be good at that, so yeah,
Speaker 4: I'll do it. Like that was his only concern, like
Speaker 4: I want to do something I feel like I won't
Speaker 4: be good at. But yeah he was. He was great,
Speaker 4: and it's been supportive of it. So so good.
Speaker 1: Oh and also Henry is at the beginning.
Speaker 4: Of Henry Phillips. Yeah, it's so fun to watch him.
Speaker 1: It's to watch Henry Phillips be this like this, this
Speaker 1: straight boss kind of like the man is hilarious. It's
Speaker 1: so not him.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's such a good actor.
Speaker 4: I know he really is, because it's rarer even with
Speaker 4: movie stars, where I watch a thing and I'm able
Speaker 4: to disconnect who they really are, especially if they're one
Speaker 4: of my best friends and I while I'm watching that,
Speaker 4: I don't I really don't think of it as Henry
Speaker 4: that I would be talking to of he is on
Speaker 4: the podcast or something.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 1: And also he does flatness perfectly, like you all do
Speaker 1: the tone of a movie like that, so it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, here's a bunch of my friends, because
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Being a comic and being in quote
Speaker 1: unquote show business ruins all entertainment for you because you
Speaker 1: know everyone that's in stuff. The second someone walks on, Like,
Speaker 1: I've had so many movies ruined because I'm in it.
Speaker 1: I'm like in this fantastical world and then like fucking
Speaker 1: David crosswalks in and I was like, oh where it
Speaker 1: just it just goes Oh I can't, I can't suspend
Speaker 1: disbelief anymore. I know people whatever. This is kind of
Speaker 1: a brag, actually, but but I kind of expected that
Speaker 1: with this because I know every single person, and it
Speaker 1: was the exact opposite, like it was. That's why I
Speaker 1: was so excited at the end because it was just
Speaker 1: everyone and fucking Emily she doing that character his voice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she is so hilarious.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she was being that person. I was like, I
Speaker 4: always felt like with all these things, it's like, well,
Speaker 4: I'll just be me, but in the situation, like I
Speaker 4: want it to be someone that doesn't belong there. But
Speaker 4: with this, we had all these other characters as opposed
Speaker 4: to just me being put in, so they're all playing
Speaker 4: the role and it was a good out for me
Speaker 4: because then I didn't have to really act. But yeah,
Speaker 4: because I never learned except how to die. But I
Speaker 4: didn't get a die.
Speaker 1: In this No, But you know, it's like fun to
Speaker 1: watch you because there's you know, I'm sure listeners of
Speaker 1: this podcast have heard you tell these stories like you're
Speaker 1: fucking scorping in the boot story or whatever where it's like,
Speaker 1: but the reason Chris is telling these stories is kiss
Speaker 1: he's an actor that's gone and tried to be an
Speaker 1: actor and doing these things like the bottom line of
Speaker 1: the story is or commercials or whatever where it's like
Speaker 1: you get booked doing things because you're very talented. So
Speaker 1: go watch Chris actually do those things with no other
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have lots of behind the scenes stories.
Speaker 1: But oh, it's fun to finally get to see you,
Speaker 1: you know, in a thing.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Yeah, I'm excited. I do want people to
Speaker 4: see it. It's just good to just google Freeway to
Speaker 4: Hell or go to YouTube brother, and it'll come.
Speaker 1: Up Freeway to Hell. Yes it's not an ACDC song. No,
Speaker 1: that's Highway to Hell for all you twenty seven years
Speaker 1: old year.
Speaker 4: It's hard for me to disconnect myself, my sister and
Speaker 4: dad when we sit down to watch TV, like over
Speaker 4: the holidays or whatever. They get so excited to share
Speaker 4: shows they like and want to see and sit down
Speaker 4: with me, and I ruin it every time because I'm like,
Speaker 4: I know him, he's a dick. Yeah, guy's nice, I wish.
Speaker 4: And then there's also this jealousy like I'm not in this,
Speaker 4: and then they're like, well, why don't we just watch
Speaker 4: something else for real? Ruin it like ruin it, and
Speaker 4: I feel so bad. I try not to do it,
Speaker 4: and I do it every time.
Speaker 1: My sisters screamed at me. I also like to talk
Speaker 1: about especially if it's something like if it's a if
Speaker 1: it's a panel show, or it's a game show, or
Speaker 1: it's a talk show. I can't stop thinking. I immediately
Speaker 1: put myself on that I have to make this show,
Speaker 1: like I'm watching it, but I also am producing it.
Speaker 1: It's the weirdest experience where I start getting stressed out,
Speaker 1: where I'm like, I don't understand how they did this.
Speaker 1: This is very difficult. Like I'll start talking to my
Speaker 1: sister about it's like, do you understand, like if you
Speaker 1: have eight people on the stage at once, how hard
Speaker 1: it is to shoot? And she's like, can you fucking
Speaker 1: shut up or watching a game show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's stupid. That was the first thing I know,
Speaker 4: not that I'm a filmmaker or ever, but I've been
Speaker 4: around it, and that was when I was talking about
Speaker 4: that man that Maryanne show so much. One of the
Speaker 4: main things I noticed was what the time they spent
Speaker 4: on lighting every shot, and every time I was watching it,
Speaker 4: I'm like, look at all those light sources. They emote,
Speaker 4: They emote what you're supposed to feel. This is French
Speaker 4: new Wave. I don't know what French new wave means.
Speaker 4: I just know they were French people that made that show.
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is classic French new wave lighting again,
Speaker 4: talking to myself saying that out loud in the.
Speaker 1: Want to tell yourself how much you know about friendly Way?
Speaker 1: And then anyway?
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then I sit on the other end of
Speaker 4: my couch and put on a mustache.
Speaker 7: I think you're right, we will so we know. We
Speaker 7: know you're going to clean up this soup. You're a
Speaker 7: terrible roommate. Oh God, clean it up.
Speaker 1: Okay, So go watch that. You must be bored. It's
Speaker 1: a pandemic, it's a COVID nineteen quarantine. You need to
Speaker 1: be looking at content and this is content of the
Speaker 1: highest quality. You'll be so excited today. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: kicking ass, Thank you very much. It's also nice to
Speaker 1: have a thing a person makes where you can one
Speaker 1: thousand percent be like, this is hilarious. You'll be happy
Speaker 1: you watched it because so much of the time you
Speaker 1: feel like I laying it. But there's a thing, and
Speaker 1: you have to like hedge things, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's a terrible thing.
Speaker 4: And I don't you know, I've been so attached to it.
Speaker 4: I watch it and I'm like, why why did I
Speaker 4: feel like I needed to be in so many fight
Speaker 4: scenes or what? You know? I tht you pick apart
Speaker 4: your own things. There are a lot of fight scenes
Speaker 4: and I had just I think I just had my
Speaker 4: hip fixed. So I'm in pain. Oh you know almost everyone,
Speaker 4: Like when I'm pretending to throw chairs, like just picking
Speaker 4: up a chair and throwing it with so much pain.
Speaker 4: But I was so tired of complaining about it that
Speaker 4: I would just do it and then just do it.
Speaker 1: Work through it, like Serena, you have to push through.
Speaker 1: There was one time John dor Twice did this thing
Speaker 1: where he was like you were running away or something,
Speaker 1: and he goes no. It's clear like just yelling no.
Speaker 1: And he's supposed to be this gang leader of this
Speaker 1: tough guy, but it's like he's all pissed off. Oh
Speaker 1: and it's also when he pushes Emily away. Yeah thing
Speaker 1: where here. He was so good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, he's he's an actual actor and he took
Speaker 4: it really seriously. It was kind of cool to watch
Speaker 4: him work. It's like, wow, yeah he had a because
Speaker 4: he's not doesn't take stand up seriously. It's a good bee.
Speaker 4: It's he's just ridiculous and I love watching. That's what
Speaker 4: I like about stand up is someone that's silly and playful.
Speaker 4: But when he was acting, he was like, I'm serious
Speaker 4: about this and I want to do it right, and
Speaker 4: he wasn't messing around. It was pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Love it watch. Yeah, he's so good. It's about how
Speaker 1: he's I always watch him and just go he should
Speaker 1: be the most famous person we know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's a I watched that thing and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I didn't realize. You don't realize untill they're on your
Speaker 4: computer screen. Someone's handsome, you know. Yeah, he's like.
Speaker 1: And same with Emily. I didn't recognize Emily, which is
Speaker 1: such a sign of great acting. And but I was like, ooh,
Speaker 1: this girl knows how to do a voice thing that
Speaker 1: sounds exactly like a sixties movie. And then I went,
Speaker 1: that's noting Emily and Mya Mills like it was so exciting.
Speaker 4: Oh you didn't realize it was her at first?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't because I didn't see names or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then she had so much eye makeup on meat
Speaker 1: up to look like one of those girls, so I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is just some actress he got yeah,
Speaker 1: and then the voice was so hilarious and perfect that
Speaker 1: I was like, who is this And then I realized, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah she is.
Speaker 4: She is another person, and that she's great.
Speaker 6: Yeah, go watch that, everybody, thank you now, and the
Speaker 6: Q and a que the Q and a music cute.
Speaker 1: Shut up, shut up, boo boo boo boo boo.
Speaker 5: It's a question, what is Okay, this is from hey,
Speaker 5: hey brother says I would I would very much like
Speaker 5: to hear all three of you describe an excruciating detail
Speaker 5: your perfect sandwich.
Speaker 4: Sandwich.
Speaker 1: Okay, Karen, you go ahead, Okay, I can do this.
Speaker 4: I know, yeah, yeah, I'm guessing tuna. But I've only
Speaker 4: had been out for sandwiches with you.
Speaker 1: Uh, tuna is going to be gross to describe. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna warn you. I I know this offhand because
Speaker 1: when we went on tour we got I missed going
Speaker 1: on tour so much. We just didn't appreciate it when
Speaker 1: we had. I think about it constantly. But anyway, we'll
Speaker 1: be back. And in twenty eighteen we got to go
Speaker 1: to the UK and then also Stockholm and Oslo, and
Speaker 1: we got to go to all these places. It was
Speaker 1: kind of amazing. It was a European tour technically. So
Speaker 1: on the plane from I think it was Scotland to Norway,
Speaker 1: I think the airline served this sandwich and it was
Speaker 1: in a package, so it was almost like a gas
Speaker 1: station sandwich we'd get here. But it was the perhaps
Speaker 1: Danish version or the Norwegian version or what. I don't
Speaker 1: know wherever the airline was from, but it was definitely
Speaker 1: a Scandinavian sandwich because the paper that this so it
Speaker 1: is a wheat bread sandwich with cheese in it, and
Speaker 1: that was all the paper around. It looked like a
Speaker 1: piece of china. So it was light blue decoration with
Speaker 1: white so like looked kind of fancy. I undo it.
Speaker 1: It's just wheat bread with sharp cheddar cheese and a
Speaker 1: little bit of mayonnaise. And I was like, this might
Speaker 1: be my perfect sandwich. Bite into it, the perfect sandwich.
Speaker 1: Like my mouth is watery right now, because I love
Speaker 1: sharp cheddar cheese and I used to when I was
Speaker 1: younger do a sharp cheddar cheese with sweet pickles, which
Speaker 1: is kind of a great sandwich, but it's a very
Speaker 1: lot of taste. This was almost like, are you hungry,
Speaker 1: here's the fucking perfect sandwich because you won't be hungry.
Speaker 1: But also it's not going to be like sloppy. You're
Speaker 1: not going to get a bunch of shit on your
Speaker 1: hands or like let us fall out or whatever. It's
Speaker 1: just like it will get the job done. It was,
Speaker 1: and the bread was perfect and there was no crust
Speaker 1: on the bread. It was I can't explain.
Speaker 4: It was just like it wasn't melted.
Speaker 1: It was just it was cold, a nice cold, I
Speaker 1: would say, happened in sandwich.
Speaker 5: I found the picture of it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, isted it on Twitter. Stephen. Do
Speaker 1: you can you see what that post said? Because I
Speaker 1: think I say.
Speaker 5: It's the perfect Yes, here's this is from it's at four.
Speaker 5: This was on four sixteen pm, May ninth, twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1: Almostly, it's the two year anniversary of this sandwich.
Speaker 4: Let's pick a cake for the sandwich.
Speaker 1: And it's a cake of the sandwich.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 5: Oh, here's the cheese sandwich they gave us on our
Speaker 5: flight to Amsterdam today. It was so good it made
Speaker 5: me shy.
Speaker 1: That was a good one. Wait, Chris, did you see
Speaker 1: the wrapping.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it looked like it was in a little picnic basket.
Speaker 1: Yes, look at it.
Speaker 4: It's like a paper box that it came in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very oh so on the way to
Speaker 1: Amsterdam then, yeah, they know they're shit.
Speaker 4: That's so funny. I don't see. I'm such a burrito
Speaker 4: person that I don't buy bread and I put everything
Speaker 4: in a tortilla, even if it's a tuna melt. I
Speaker 4: know that doesn't sound great, but I grill it and
Speaker 4: it then it eats like a flat I'm not I
Speaker 4: just get it done. I don't buy bread that much,
Speaker 4: so I'm like the wrong one.
Speaker 1: But I remember your dream sandwich, like your like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I was having a dream about a sandwich, yeah,
Speaker 4: it would be some cartoonish long it would be on
Speaker 4: a bag yet and there'd be like meatballs that I
Speaker 4: don't eat anymore on it, and uh yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 4: would be a sandwich that I reserve just for my dreams.
Speaker 4: It's just funny that a cheese, just cheese is all
Speaker 4: that was on your sandwich, right, yeah, then that that
Speaker 4: was That's so funny to me. I remember once my
Speaker 4: grandpa we all sat down to eat, and my grandpa
Speaker 4: was so he would get sometimes he wasn't real nice
Speaker 4: to my grandma, or he'd be brewd He's like, well,
Speaker 4: I'm so ready to eat. All I had today was
Speaker 4: a cheese sandwich. And for some reason, my parents and
Speaker 4: I we would all quote that for years because it
Speaker 4: was like, who eats cheese? Just a cheese? It wasn't
Speaker 4: grilled cheese, just cheese on a sandwich. Yeah, And as
Speaker 4: much as we all love cheese in my family, I
Speaker 4: don't think I ever have just taken cheese and made
Speaker 4: a sandwich with it.
Speaker 1: But I think the bread is key because it was
Speaker 1: thick brown. It was thick dark wheat bread. So there
Speaker 1: was some kind of chemical combination that I bet you,
Speaker 1: like David Chang, the chef could be explain why that
Speaker 1: was so delicious because the cheese is so sharp that
Speaker 1: then the bread almost mutes it down.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the best feeling when because I've been
Speaker 4: learning to cook during this thing. It's the best feeling
Speaker 4: when it's too simple ingredients and you discover that together,
Speaker 4: it's like, oh, I nailed it, and I didn't have
Speaker 4: to do much to nail it. And there's people that
Speaker 4: just know that. They're like, well, the tartness of this
Speaker 4: will balance out with the saltiness and then this they'll
Speaker 4: be sweet and it'll be perfect. I'm done here, and
Speaker 4: then they leave through through a cloud to smoke.
Speaker 1: And then they throw a match down and then they're.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how all amazing four star ships or it's
Speaker 4: a five star I don't know how many stars they are, Michelan.
Speaker 4: That's how the michelin man leaves the room.
Speaker 1: Stephen, Do you have a dream sandwich?
Speaker 5: I mean, I like a good classic Italian just like
Speaker 5: all that kind of stuff. But I mean personally, I
Speaker 5: feel like a hot dog is my favorite sandwich.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, oh, like from the fairer baseball game. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well, even now, like during the day, I will just
Speaker 5: make myself a hot dog for lunch, and so today
Speaker 5: it was a hot dog that I put in the
Speaker 5: toaster and then the yet, no, not my hot dog toaster,
Speaker 5: because that's still at the office.
Speaker 1: That the office. It's real, I've seen it.
Speaker 5: But then so I will actually cut the hot dog
Speaker 5: down the middle, and I'll put sharp cheddar in the
Speaker 5: hot dog, and and then I will put Mayo ketchup
Speaker 5: and then I've been obsessed with Heinz fifty seven lately. Wow,
Speaker 5: that was.
Speaker 4: All three of those condiments to get three of them
Speaker 4: on there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so fat times fifty seven. Like barbecue sauce.
Speaker 5: It feels like it's like the kid's version of barbecue sauce.
Speaker 5: Like it's very it's like much it's a lot milder
Speaker 5: and it's but it also has that like Worcestershire kind
Speaker 5: of thing going on. Still, that's really delicious.
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't have that much experience.
Speaker 5: I didn't grump with it either, So I just started
Speaker 5: trying it for the.
Speaker 4: First like a one steak sauce.
Speaker 5: It's it's much milder. It feels like it's like the
Speaker 5: ketchup version of steak sauce.
Speaker 4: That's fun because now I'm Yeah. When I was younger,
Speaker 4: every time I'd go give me the one with five
Speaker 4: different meats and some Italian salad dressing, and then I'd
Speaker 4: go home and try to make that. But it's been
Speaker 4: so long that but my mouth is watering right now too.
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, but no, I need to become more of
Speaker 4: a sandwich guy.
Speaker 1: Can we actually, right now just do a sidebar of
Speaker 1: this question, and I'll say what our hot dogs would
Speaker 1: be like if we were at a barbecue and we
Speaker 1: had to make the other two their hot dogs. Because
Speaker 1: that's a very specific thing. And oftentimes, like when Stephen
Speaker 1: was just describing his putting mayonnaise on a hot dog,
Speaker 1: grosses me up so much that I want to be
Speaker 1: in a fight about it. Like I think it's a
Speaker 1: very clarifying thing to talk about. That's Stephen's hot dog, Chris,
Speaker 1: what's your hot dog?
Speaker 4: Mustard? I just like mustard. I always have, even when
Speaker 4: I was a kid, and it's like an old man
Speaker 4: thing to like, I just want spicy, yellow, whatever kind
Speaker 4: of mustard. That's the only thing I would put on
Speaker 4: a hot that's it. Yeah, No ketchup, no ketchup.
Speaker 1: And no like diced up onions. Or you're standing there.
Speaker 4: I'll take some dicedition.
Speaker 1: You're at station at the baseball game.
Speaker 4: What do you put on? Oh the station, I have
Speaker 4: anything pepper and chini.
Speaker 1: You could have Stephen's mannaise if you want.
Speaker 4: I want some of those pepperaccinis. I didn't know those
Speaker 4: were at the station.
Speaker 6: Yo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look down there, all up hot.
Speaker 4: Bog train leaving the station. We got onions, we got
Speaker 4: pepper teens, we got yellow peppers. I'll put different kinds
Speaker 4: of peppers on there. I want tart. I want spicy tart. Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: Chicago style, the kind where they yell at you when
Speaker 4: they serview it.
Speaker 1: Hey, oh that's New York Chicago. Chicago head egg, get
Speaker 1: your head.
Speaker 4: Did you guys ever see that? It was like a
Speaker 4: Conan segment where Jack uh, the guy the page from
Speaker 4: thirty Rock that Jacob Bryant, Yeah, where he goes to
Speaker 4: that hot dog stand. I went there when I was
Speaker 4: in Chicago. But they just are rude and yell at you.
Speaker 4: That's part of the experience, and I was pretty sure
Speaker 4: I wouldn't like it, and they could see on my
Speaker 4: face that I just wanted to just order it and
Speaker 4: not be yelled at and so they just scowled at
Speaker 4: me instead, which which I appreciate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is nice. That's called service.
Speaker 4: But he goes in there with and then they are
Speaker 4: mean to him, of course, person he doesn't know how
Speaker 4: to react. And then Triumph the Insult Comic Dog just
Speaker 4: berates these people until they're actually crying, like he really
Speaker 4: hurt their feelings, these people that were being like, get
Speaker 4: the fuck out of here. And then and it is
Speaker 4: really fun to watch. I'm not doing it justice, but
Speaker 4: watch that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in Chicago. It's
Speaker 4: like when Conan was live in Chicago or something and
Speaker 4: they went to that, uh, that hot dog stand. It's
Speaker 4: the best or it's a it's a it's a brick
Speaker 4: and mortar building and they may have more than hot dogs,
Speaker 4: but I can't remember what it.
Speaker 1: It's a fam I think it's a hot dog stand.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's a famous Chicago place.
Speaker 1: Also, Chicago dogs have slices of tomato on them.
Speaker 4: I'll take that sure. And it's so weird. I have
Speaker 4: such a weird relationship with tomatoes because if I were
Speaker 4: to bite one as if it were an apple, which
Speaker 4: I've seen people do, they sprinkle some salt on there. Yeah,
Speaker 4: if there is that grainy texture to a tomato, it
Speaker 4: will trigger my gas reflex. And I have without expecting
Speaker 4: it at all, because I'm open, I'm a grown up.
Speaker 4: I'll put I'll dice up tomatoes. I'll put them on
Speaker 4: a taco I buy them, I'll slice them, I'll put
Speaker 4: them on the sandwich I never make. But if I
Speaker 4: dake a bite of a big tomato, it just triggers
Speaker 4: my gag reflex, like in a way that I forget
Speaker 4: about it. And there have been times where I've actually
Speaker 4: thrown up so real mixed relationship with tomatoes.
Speaker 1: But still, and still, you say you would do Chicago
Speaker 1: style hot dog.
Speaker 4: Yes, I would put tiny It's just it's got to
Speaker 4: be tiny pieces of tomato.
Speaker 1: Dice, yes, dice, you got it, you min Stephen.
Speaker 4: Oh could you shread it? Yeah, shredded tomato, of course,
Speaker 4: stew like stewed even, No, I will put it. I
Speaker 4: will get a ladle of marinera filled with stewed tomatoes,
Speaker 4: and I'll ladle it all over this hot dog.
Speaker 1: This is not a hot dog anymore. You brought it
Speaker 1: around a soup.
Speaker 4: Well, now it's an Italian style meatball.
Speaker 1: Do without the meat, I just do mustard relish. That's
Speaker 1: all I need. Clean, nice, yeah, I mean too easy
Speaker 1: to remember.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and those are the flavors that go well, sweet relish,
Speaker 4: kind of the onion. You know it's going to be
Speaker 4: have the texture you want. It's a texture thing with
Speaker 4: me with the hot salt.
Speaker 5: That is.
Speaker 1: It's true because I do. Yeah, it's I think we've
Speaker 1: beaten this today.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, we answered the fuck out of that. I'm
Speaker 4: not a huge sent what I do dream of just
Speaker 4: in closing, in closing, these tacos that they would serve
Speaker 4: at the Western Montana Fair of all places, not at
Speaker 4: all authentic, I'm sure, but they were so good and
Speaker 4: my sister and I talk about them all the time,
Speaker 4: the tacos at the Western Montana Fair, right by the
Speaker 4: bingo tent.
Speaker 1: Can you just give us just a general description.
Speaker 4: They are so simple. It was just like mystery, a
Speaker 4: scoop of mystery meat on a on a very oiled up, crispy,
Speaker 4: hard shell taco and I think, just yeah, some shredded,
Speaker 4: shredded lettuce on there. I think that's it. And and
Speaker 4: that that processed cheese that they shred and then it just.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like velvita.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, like it was. It had to be somehow
Speaker 4: they were able to shred velveta and maybe they crush
Speaker 4: it through one of those garlic presses, but it was.
Speaker 4: It's still I think of those tacos and it's I
Speaker 4: haven't had one since I was twelve or thirteen.
Speaker 5: That's a good.
Speaker 1: That's a good. So really, your dream sandwich is a
Speaker 1: taco fi.
Speaker 4: I am a Mexican food person. I always have been.
Speaker 4: I don't hide that.
Speaker 1: You cannot go wrong.
Speaker 4: I the other day I went and got a breakfast
Speaker 4: burrito at the bottom of the street there's a deli,
Speaker 4: and she put pickles on it for some reason, like
Speaker 4: pickles that you would otherwise, you would find them otherwise.
Speaker 4: And I'm telling you it was terrific what they tasted exactly.
Speaker 1: Sorry, you're gonna have to say what else was on there,
Speaker 1: because I'm an r.
Speaker 4: It was just egg. It was a breakfast burrito. It
Speaker 4: just had egg, and it had cheese and it had
Speaker 4: to avocado, and then there was caught up pieces of pickle.
Speaker 4: And I'm telling you, dil dill or sweet. It was
Speaker 4: the exact pickles that you would have on a McDonald's hamburger,
Speaker 4: which I haven't had for years, And somehow that added
Speaker 4: flavor worked. You just had to separate what you know
Speaker 4: about Mexican food altogether and be like, yes, you had
Speaker 4: to Yeah, this is a deli creation from the nice
Speaker 4: lady down the street.
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, I miss I missed that kind
Speaker 1: of ease of use of like I just thought today
Speaker 1: it would be so fun to go to I think
Speaker 1: I probably could, though, to go to In and Out.
Speaker 1: I haven't had in and Out in two months.
Speaker 4: I bet because they're strictly drived through. I mean, or
Speaker 4: they've made them.
Speaker 1: I bet they've made themselves strictly drive through because it's
Speaker 1: they have it down, and I feel like I trust
Speaker 1: if I trust anybody serving food, I trust in and
Speaker 1: Out because they're.
Speaker 6: So because they believe in the Bible, because because fucking
Speaker 6: John three sixteen.
Speaker 4: Why do I have to say it.
Speaker 1: When the cup says it?
Speaker 4: They Yeah. I mean that was the first place I
Speaker 4: had ever been where while you're in the drive through,
Speaker 4: they have a person on foot and they come up
Speaker 4: to your window like it's the nineteen sixties wearing roller skates.
Speaker 1: When I was on my incredibly did you hear that?
Speaker 1: I went? But it was a stutter, your dance stutter?
Speaker 4: Are you gonna talk about your dance club tour again
Speaker 4: when you're a DJ?
Speaker 1: Anyway, I when I was on this incredibly strict diet,
Speaker 1: which basically all I ate was romain, lettuce, and chicken breast.
Speaker 1: Not easy to stay on. But one of the things
Speaker 1: I could have was the protein style cheeseburger. I just
Speaker 1: didn't get any sauce on it. And I went there
Speaker 1: every other night, and it was like when that person,
Speaker 1: I would be like, God, I would kill for just
Speaker 1: a big old anonymous board to yet yell into because
Speaker 1: I have to look this person in the face and
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, so I'd love the number two proteins,
Speaker 1: like if they knew it was me, or at least
Speaker 1: it felt like it, because I was just like I
Speaker 1: was working, I couldn't cook, terrible cook where I'm just like,
Speaker 1: but I can go have my my special thing that's
Speaker 1: not fucking a chicken breast.
Speaker 4: And they would just say hello again, Karen.
Speaker 1: They would be like, your eating disorder is out of controuble.
Speaker 1: Now you're cooking right, Well, yes, yeah, now I'm trying
Speaker 1: to be good because in the first month I did
Speaker 1: a real like cheese based, ice cream based thing where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't move around enough to be eating
Speaker 1: these many calories. To get this in line.
Speaker 4: I've done the opposite. I'm kind of in the ice
Speaker 4: cream phase, like I've been eating like a child which
Speaker 4: ice cream. But I've also started Oh at the town
Speaker 4: just down the street next to that deli, there's a
Speaker 4: liquor store and they have the Jimmy Fallon and.
Speaker 1: Colbert You like the American Dream?
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, David, I don't know what the Balon one is,
Speaker 4: but either one.
Speaker 1: Fallon one has like potato chips in it, doesn't it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I'm afraid I like it. It's great, I'm sure. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I've been getting those. But I've also been running, trying
Speaker 4: to run a little, so I feel like I earned
Speaker 4: the right to balance it out and ruin it with
Speaker 4: some ice cream.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I started swimming so that I could eat a
Speaker 1: pint of ice cream a day. That's ye, Like, I
Speaker 1: have to I have to at least balance it. I can't.
Speaker 1: I know my tendencies, and I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: definitely don't want to gain more weight. I want to
Speaker 1: be losing. But at the same time, I can't just
Speaker 1: sit in my house and not have a treat or
Speaker 1: some I have to reward myself. Yeah, I have to.
Speaker 4: I know, it is, it is. It is one of
Speaker 4: the ways we're staying sane. You have to give yourself
Speaker 4: a little rewards. But you also have to do something.
Speaker 4: We can't just sit here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also Salt and Straw. When I order from it,
Speaker 1: it comes to my house so quickly they get because
Speaker 1: they they I think they're just sitting there waiting for people,
Speaker 1: so they just are able to Like it's not like
Speaker 1: they have to cook anything. They just have their ice
Speaker 1: cream pre made, so they're just handing pints out the door.
Speaker 1: So it's like on Postmates view order, Salt and Straw
Speaker 1: comes in fifteen minutes. Most things take forty five.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, totally. No, I've had I've been. Yeah, in
Speaker 4: the last few days i've been. I discovered Postmates and
Speaker 4: that it's faster and less expensive than Uber Eats or
Speaker 4: whatever I was using. And yeah, it immediately comes to
Speaker 4: my door. And I've been getting treats that way. But
Speaker 4: Salt and.
Speaker 1: Straw it's called that's the name of the ice cream. Places, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because they have all those like fancy recipes where it's
Speaker 1: like cherries bourbon and a touch of gravel like shit,
Speaker 1: where you're like, there's no way this is good, and
Speaker 1: then you're eating it like your genius is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it just makes me. It sounds like
Speaker 4: salt in straw, Like you go to take a drink
Speaker 4: of something and it's a straw ful of salt.
Speaker 1: It's a prank ice cream store.
Speaker 5: Love it?
Speaker 1: Should we move on to questions?
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, of course, yes.
Speaker 1: I honestly love talking about food so much.
Speaker 4: I love it. I'm probably speaking unclearly because my mouth
Speaker 4: started watering after after you gave me permission. I've been drooling.
Speaker 4: I have drool on my shirt. It actually came out. Oh,
Speaker 4: the microphone blocked it.
Speaker 1: It's funny to talk about preferences of things because it
Speaker 1: is like I think a lot of times you eat
Speaker 1: because you eat what you know you're supposed to eat
Speaker 1: or whatever. But it's like that, that's that was such
Speaker 1: a good question, hey, brother, because it is what is
Speaker 1: your dream? Like what would you eat? You know, what's
Speaker 1: the dream that you have no restrictions and no you know,
Speaker 1: like it didn't make you feel bad or any of
Speaker 1: the right.
Speaker 4: I immediately was like, well, let's be realistic, what what
Speaker 4: will I eat? But no, yes, I want the same
Speaker 4: Italian sandwich that Steven's getting.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Also, Sultan Straw has an olive oil and fig
Speaker 5: ice cream where they did at some point tried it once.
Speaker 5: That was enough.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no good, it was for you. It was fine.
Speaker 5: It was like I'm glad I tried it, but it
Speaker 5: does it's not something I need to like have again
Speaker 5: on Thursday. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's for people who don't care about their desserts.
Speaker 1: Where it's like any anytime you're at an ice cream
Speaker 1: place and you're not getting an ice cream that's based,
Speaker 1: that's a chocolate based ice cream, I'm like, get the
Speaker 1: fuck out of here. You're wasting your time, Like that's
Speaker 1: neat that you have like butter brickle in your vanilla.
Speaker 1: But the whole thing is like what you're wasting calories
Speaker 1: on half an experience When like they have an ice
Speaker 1: cream there that's it's chocolate brownie, but it's literally someone
Speaker 1: made a pan of brownies, dice them up and then
Speaker 1: put them into chocolate ice cream. They're like, it's a
Speaker 1: full on brownie. Experience.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you mind as well go for that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is from Malt liquor Slurpee on Twitter, I
Speaker 5: think on Twitter. Yeah, what song do you think you've
Speaker 5: heard most during your lifetime? Good or bad? By choice
Speaker 5: or not?
Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's a great question. Yeah, that I've heard
Speaker 4: the most, well, I mean you have to look at
Speaker 4: I'm afraid it would be a happy birthday or something
Speaker 4: that I'm not taking you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're doing it statistically.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would hate to find out. Actually, no, it's
Speaker 4: this ring tone from nineteen ninety eight that you've heard
Speaker 4: the most. But yeah, like music, boy, that's.
Speaker 1: A good like a song, like if you went and
Speaker 1: looked on your phone, like on iTunes or whatever they
Speaker 1: have like the twenty five most played songs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, boy, that is so hard for me to answer.
Speaker 1: I wish also these days it's got like when it
Speaker 1: used to be. I used to drive around and listen
Speaker 1: to Ellie Radio, you know, like you drive Time radio
Speaker 1: or whatever. So that would have influenced my answer. But
Speaker 1: now that that isn't because you can have your phone
Speaker 1: plugged into your car, you can do whatever you want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of always been my goal not to
Speaker 4: just spread myself thin over everything and not ruin there was.
Speaker 4: I guess I'm going to say the album that I
Speaker 4: listened to the most was in nineteen ninety three, Frank
Speaker 4: Black from the Pixies put out a solo album that,
Speaker 4: at the time instill to me is one of the
Speaker 4: most important albums. I read about it in Rolling Stone
Speaker 4: in high school in the library, and the review of
Speaker 4: it was exactly what I wanted to hear about music.
Speaker 4: And then I bought it and I listened to it
Speaker 4: every day. I think I don't took it at I
Speaker 4: never took it out, and I always was careful, like
Speaker 4: I got to stop listening to this or I'll ruin
Speaker 4: it and I won't like it anymore. Because I did
Speaker 4: that with so many albums and it never happened. I
Speaker 4: think I probably that the song that everyone would know.
Speaker 4: There's a song called Los Angeles where he's like riding
Speaker 4: around on a hovers. Yeah that, but all the songs
Speaker 4: on there, every song to me, is amazing. I love that,
Speaker 4: So I anything on that, I honestly believe I because
Speaker 4: I was listening to so much music back then, you know,
Speaker 4: right right around college freshman year of college, you know
Speaker 4: I was constantly listening to music.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's In fact, your answer helped me answer mine
Speaker 1: because I was going to say some I was going
Speaker 1: to say like Tequila Sunriser or something that that would
Speaker 1: be like a radio song. But I think the truth
Speaker 1: of it is in this. I had the same experience
Speaker 1: where the there's a band called The Sundays and they
Speaker 1: had an album called Reading, Writing and Rhythmic Tick. Then
Speaker 1: it came out in I think nineteen eighty eight or
Speaker 1: eighty nine.
Speaker 6: Is it that ideel fine song that's there? That's that's someone? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 6: oh but it's her.
Speaker 1: It's here's where the story ends.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it is that is that is their best song.
Speaker 4: I It's you and I love. That was the first
Speaker 4: thing our first episode we talked about our mutual love.
Speaker 4: The Sundays. I ordered it. I ordered a poster of
Speaker 4: Harriet Wheeler when I lived in Bend, Oregon, and I
Speaker 4: shared a bedroom with this other snowboarder friend, and he
Speaker 4: would be drawing his boots, his smelly boots on this
Speaker 4: rack and I just had a bouton mattress that I
Speaker 4: rolled up in my car and drove there to Oregon,
Speaker 4: and I had nothing except this poster of Harriet Wheeler
Speaker 4: that I put on my wall. So I was, yeah,
Speaker 4: I loved her.
Speaker 1: I loved she was she looked like a model. But
Speaker 1: then this band, like her voice was perfect. It was
Speaker 1: so that time. It was the perfect transition out of
Speaker 1: like eighties you know, kind of like Wham Duran Duran,
Speaker 1: that kind of area and into this like music, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, music kind of starting to take itself seriously
Speaker 1: and be like, what if we were just this fucking
Speaker 1: amazing band. So like the music on that album and
Speaker 1: on there are other albums too, but that first album,
Speaker 1: I was in a reck story in Sacramento. I've told
Speaker 1: the story and that here's where the story ends came
Speaker 1: on and from that jangly guitar whatever, I stopped and
Speaker 1: I looked around and I made icon. I went up
Speaker 1: to the intimidating girl that worked there and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this? Like I was wanted to cry, and
Speaker 1: then she felt like this is my song?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yep, I loved it. It spoke to me
Speaker 4: a lot. I just want I like the idea of
Speaker 4: that girl at the record store to wink like you're
Speaker 4: part of a club now and go to the safe
Speaker 4: and get you a.
Speaker 1: Seriously, it's just like you have taste that I think
Speaker 1: that girl at the record store is the same girl
Speaker 1: who went to Sack State when I did. And she
Speaker 1: wore a T shirt which blew my mind that said
Speaker 1: frat boys have no genitals. She made it and she
Speaker 1: wore it and it was the most on Campo thing.
Speaker 4: Yes, oh wow.
Speaker 1: I saw her once outside a classroom and I was like,
Speaker 1: you're the most punk rock yeah mother. And she was
Speaker 1: really she was really pretty and really like cool, wore
Speaker 1: the coolest clothes, so like, no dude was going to
Speaker 1: say anything to her, but like they would have, they
Speaker 1: would have beaten her up, but she there's something about
Speaker 1: her where it was just like everyone was just like,
Speaker 1: oh shit.
Speaker 4: It was like, it's weird that you haven't even described
Speaker 4: what she looks like. And I have a crush on
Speaker 4: her now yeah you.
Speaker 1: Know you know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was the coolest and she worked at that
Speaker 1: record store.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she'd probably be mean to me and I'd like it.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah. She would put her cigarette out right in
Speaker 1: your eye.
Speaker 4: Oh thank you, thank you, madam. Yeah, all I have
Speaker 4: I always wanted to impress people that worked at music
Speaker 4: stores with it's like I'll impress them. I it goes
Speaker 4: back pretty far. I have a sister that's six years
Speaker 4: older than me, a lot of influence there. Let me
Speaker 4: tell you what I know about the start.
Speaker 1: It's a love my stack of CDs.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to buy from you.
Speaker 5: Yep.
Speaker 1: One sorry, one quick one one Christmas And it was
Speaker 1: I think my senior year in high school. I opened up.
Speaker 1: They were tapes actually the Smith's Louder than Bombs and
Speaker 1: there was one other one and they were so cool
Speaker 1: and my dad got them for me and I was like,
Speaker 1: thanks Dad, and he just went to the record He
Speaker 1: went to the wear the warehouse in Pedaluma and he
Speaker 1: fucking just went to the girl and said, my daughter
Speaker 1: likes this, this and this, what should I buy for her?
Speaker 1: And it was the smartest thing he's ever It was
Speaker 1: like wow, yeah, you know, parents get you stuff that
Speaker 1: they want you to have. They buy you like sweaters
Speaker 1: and shit that you're like, thanks, I don't like this.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 1: It was so touching that he it was like, I
Speaker 1: know that you like this shit that I think is weird,
Speaker 1: and like, you know, oh, it was the Cure. It
Speaker 1: was the Smith's and the Cure.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's amazing. That's why your dad got you.
Speaker 4: Oh that's the.
Speaker 1: Coolest for some awesome employee at the warehouse. That was like,
Speaker 1: I'll hook you up. She's going to be really excited
Speaker 1: about this, and I was like, dad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom did that for me too, with the
Speaker 4: Columbia where you put little stamps on. It was so confusing,
Speaker 4: but she on purpose there was based on the description
Speaker 4: got me that band television because it's here's a gritty
Speaker 4: version of I think they compared him to the Rolling
Speaker 4: Stones or something, and she knew that wasn't quite cool
Speaker 4: enough for me, but it was a more punk version,
Speaker 4: so she got that and she my mom introduced me
Speaker 4: to Radiohead, which everyone, whether or not they're willing to
Speaker 4: admit it, why do I just turn to excuse me?
Speaker 4: Gravel Throat It likes or appreciated that band at some point,
Speaker 4: And yeah, I didn't even know about them until my mom.
Speaker 4: I love that. Yeah, Pablo, Honey.
Speaker 1: It's like you're you're so grateful that you found out
Speaker 1: about that. That was like I bought the Breeders first
Speaker 1: album because of the cover art and because of the
Speaker 1: Little Card. It was the same I was still into
Speaker 1: Sacramento and it was the same record store. It just
Speaker 1: had moved right down by my house and there was
Speaker 1: just like a little description and I think it's you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure the Pixies were mentioned, but it was like
Speaker 1: kim deal. So I was like, it's a girl band
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then like it was that super cool
Speaker 1: pinkish yeah. The writing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's like a there's a strawberry on it, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: that was I probably bought that around the same time
Speaker 4: as the Frank Black CD. It's so funny that that's
Speaker 4: because that's how I kind of figured out that I
Speaker 4: liked the Pixies is because they were solo work afterwards,
Speaker 4: and then I went back and it's like, oh, this's
Speaker 4: the Pixies. It's amazing too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Breeders are great. Fucking we answered
Speaker 1: the fuck out that question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we fucking destroyed it.
Speaker 1: We did it.
Speaker 4: It's mangled. We don't even know what the question was anymore.
Speaker 1: Don't go back. It's a burning heap of ash. Walk away.
Speaker 4: Sorry we murdered your unrecognizable question.
Speaker 1: Sorry we answered answered so much. You never want to
Speaker 1: hear anything we have to say again?
Speaker 5: Okay, this is from I'm paraphrasing from two gulch on Twitter. Basically,
Speaker 5: what's the biggest change you've noticed in Los Angeles since
Speaker 5: you've moved here?
Speaker 4: I won't live another one.
Speaker 1: The biggest change gotta be traffic.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: It just has increased by five thousand cars every three months.
Speaker 4: Did you make that voice because a fourth person all
Speaker 4: of a sudden, we just picked up on a frequency someone.
Speaker 4: Did you just hear someone go weird?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yeah it was a cat?
Speaker 1: Was it Steven's cat?
Speaker 4: Kareny? Need I remind you I live in a haunted apartment.
Speaker 1: I think it will Kenny Lane.
Speaker 4: Look at that kitty.
Speaker 5: Podcasting.
Speaker 6: Oh no, I'm saying weird so loud I can talk
Speaker 6: to that cat.
Speaker 4: Uh sorry. Yeah. When I moved here, everyone and warned
Speaker 4: me that the sky would be gray and uh, and
Speaker 4: it was, and that it was always like, oh did
Speaker 4: you see today you could see the Hollywood sign or whatever.
Speaker 4: But when I moved to LA it was during that
Speaker 4: era where you would see hummers everywhere and the prius
Speaker 4: wasn't quite catching on the way it has. And I
Speaker 4: you do notice like you do now that cars aren't
Speaker 4: driving around that all of a sudden, the air quality
Speaker 4: was better. So that's one thing I've noticed is I
Speaker 4: can usually see the Hollywood sign. Not that that's where
Speaker 4: I looked to to imagine my dreams, but just as
Speaker 4: a that's my h that's my doppler for air pollution,
Speaker 4: is whether or not I can see that. And as
Speaker 4: I've lived here, it's gotten clearer and clearer. So that's
Speaker 4: a good that's a silver lining to it is, you
Speaker 4: know what I was also saying, it was onlining.
Speaker 1: When I when I first moved here, there were so
Speaker 1: few aside from fancy restaurants that were expensive that like
Speaker 1: rich and fancy people want to there were very very
Speaker 1: few good restaurants that just served like delicious food. And
Speaker 1: it used to drive me and saying, like you'd go
Speaker 1: to like there was like toy on Sunset, which was awesome, amazing, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then like across the street El Ca and Padre
Speaker 1: or whatever, there was like a couple of key places
Speaker 1: you would go to Ell that one that's on Western anyway,
Speaker 1: there's like a bunch of of course there's great Mexican
Speaker 1: food and stuff, but for the.
Speaker 4: Most Coyote, Is it the coyote on Western No.
Speaker 1: Well, El Coyote is like fun to get drunk up.
Speaker 1: But the food isn't the best Mexican food there's it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter anyway, But just basically, over the years, it's
Speaker 1: almost like people have moved in and been like, you
Speaker 1: can have a good restaurant. That's not I think because
Speaker 1: people here are so on a diet all the time
Speaker 1: and so concerned with that and their weight that you
Speaker 1: kind of can't. It can't be like Buka Debeppo everywhere.
Speaker 1: People just won't go to it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But now it's like they've they've brought some really
Speaker 1: good restaurants that you know, people have gotten cooler about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and paid attention to ingredients, which everyonehether or not,
Speaker 4: they know it. It makes food taste better when the
Speaker 4: the parts are good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, the food parts, the ingredients.
Speaker 4: Ah yeah, Food's gotten better, traffic's gotten worse. In conclusion,
Speaker 4: the end.
Speaker 1: In conclusion, stay home, wash your hand.
Speaker 5: This is from Kent Underscore. Lisa, what's the last thing
Speaker 5: you'd ever order at Starbucks?
Speaker 4: I think for me it Yeah, it would be one
Speaker 4: of those refreshers or something non coffee, like here's here's
Speaker 4: a strawberry without caffeine, Like anything without caffeine. It's like,
Speaker 4: why am I here. I'm not here to quench my thirst.
Speaker 4: I'm here to make my hands jiggle and have trouble
Speaker 4: sleeping later. Yeah, so yeah, anything that doesn't although that's
Speaker 4: not true because Monday, you know, I did get a
Speaker 4: lemonade there and it was delicious, but it felt it
Speaker 4: felt like there was like, well, I'm here anyway, I
Speaker 4: should get this. I yeah, I always get coffee there.
Speaker 1: I'm not. Yeah, it's it's all about the caffeinated hit
Speaker 1: and I would say I would never get I'm not
Speaker 1: interested in the pumpkin spice anything. I'm sorry, Stephen. I'm
Speaker 1: just not no like pumpkin, like those kind of flavored
Speaker 1: things or you know what. I really don't like those
Speaker 1: fucking cake pops. They're gross. I don't know why they
Speaker 1: came out with them. I understand it's kind of for kids,
Speaker 1: I think, but like the first time I had one,
Speaker 1: someone was like, oh my god, if you had these
Speaker 1: there at Mays. It's a dough. It's a ball of dough,
Speaker 1: so it's gross. It's dough covered in frosting. It's really gross.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not worth it. It's not worth the because
Speaker 4: you know what you're eating is it's it's it's entirely
Speaker 4: bad for you, and it's just not tasty enough for
Speaker 4: it to be.
Speaker 1: That bad for right you want Like, yeah, those everything
Speaker 1: in that case is so many calories that you better
Speaker 1: be loving it because what a waste.
Speaker 4: Is the only thing I do like about those pops
Speaker 4: and their little bagel bites or whatever. It's like, I'm
Speaker 4: not I just barely need something in my stomach, and
Speaker 4: they have that option there. Most places don't. It's like,
Speaker 4: now you have a full meal, or you get the
Speaker 4: fuck out. I'm sorry I got aggressive there. I've yelled
Speaker 4: at a lot at restaurants for wanting small portions.
Speaker 1: I actually went to Starbucks the other day and just
Speaker 1: to get ground up beans because I don't have a
Speaker 1: grinder at my house and I like their Italian roast neither.
Speaker 4: I'm never buying a grinder, and it's really hard to
Speaker 4: find pre ground beans.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll do it for you. The Starbucks drive through
Speaker 1: and it was great, and I was like, I always
Speaker 1: try to get two bags just so I because I
Speaker 1: don't go out anymore. Obviously a few of us do
Speaker 1: that are sane, and so I asked for two. She
Speaker 1: was like, we only have one. I said that's totally fine.
Speaker 1: I said, I'll take something similar, like a Verona or whatever.
Speaker 1: And when I got up to the front, the girl
Speaker 1: came up and she had the bag, but she goes
Speaker 1: a bunch dumped out while I was doing it, so
Speaker 1: you can have this for free. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's really nice, but it was still three quarters of
Speaker 1: the way full. And then she goes and we'll get
Speaker 1: your other one. And then as they were doing that,
Speaker 1: one another girl king goes, we found another bag of
Speaker 1: Italian So she goes, so do you want that too?
Speaker 1: And I was like yeah, and I go, well, I'd
Speaker 1: rather have that than the other one, but they had
Speaker 1: already ground the second one. Then they were like we
Speaker 1: found enough. Anyway, I ended up with four bags of
Speaker 1: Italian beans, and it was I made the line get
Speaker 1: really long behind me because it became this thing like
Speaker 1: these awesome girls at this Starbucks at I don't even
Speaker 1: know where I was. It was like fucking came Rio
Speaker 1: and Riverside. They it was like their project to get
Speaker 1: me these beans. It was hilarious, and I don't think
Speaker 1: they were listening. I think they were just like, you
Speaker 1: know those people that work at Starbucks that like like
Speaker 1: having that.
Speaker 4: Job so much. I noticed saying that about Starbucks employees.
Speaker 4: It's part of the I've always had this thing with
Speaker 4: me that where I feel like we should be going
Speaker 4: to some mom and pop coffee place or whatever. It's
Speaker 4: just it's but we can't do it in our podcast.
Speaker 4: There's no drive throughs at those places. But my experience
Speaker 4: with the employees has been like, I don't care there.
Speaker 4: These are nice people.
Speaker 1: Well, and also they make more than an hom wage.
Speaker 1: They have health insurance, they have their partners have health insurance.
Speaker 4: They treat their employees well.
Speaker 1: They treat their employees great.
Speaker 5: All right, this is from Hannah J. May Karen Chris.
Speaker 5: What are your favorite what are your favorite driving memories
Speaker 5: you have shared with your parents or siblings?
Speaker 1: Do you want me to go first?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Sure, because this is.
Speaker 1: A classic in my family. So my dad always had
Speaker 1: Volkswagen Bugs from when I was little.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the first one, the blue one. It had blue.
Speaker 1: It was blue, really cool color blue too. It was
Speaker 1: like it was like a royalish blue but anyway, uh,
Speaker 1: and it had white interior, and we were so little
Speaker 1: in this car that we used to get in what
Speaker 1: we called the wayback machine, which was not the back
Speaker 1: seat but the space behind the back seat. That's how
Speaker 1: we were so small we could get back there. And
Speaker 1: of course there was no there's no seatbelt laws in
Speaker 1: the seventies, so we would literally like walk around the
Speaker 1: car as we were driving around. So we had tons
Speaker 1: of fun in this car with my dad. One of
Speaker 1: the he would sometimes pick us up from school after
Speaker 1: like if and if kid there weren't other kids around,
Speaker 1: he would let us. He would let us stand on
Speaker 1: the like runner board that was on the side. You know,
Speaker 1: there's like a like I would say it's half a
Speaker 1: foot wide, or not even a foot. It'd say it's
Speaker 1: six inches.
Speaker 4: On the side of the car, on the yeah.
Speaker 1: Outside of the car. So there's just like a little thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you were a little kid, you could stand on
Speaker 1: it and hold on to If my dad unrolled his window,
Speaker 1: you could hold onto the window and stand on that
Speaker 1: thing almost like with your in first position ballet. And
Speaker 1: he would drive around and let us ride on the
Speaker 1: outside of the car and he would go you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't tell your mom I did this and it
Speaker 1: was the most fun, Like around the playground. He would
Speaker 1: do that sometimes. Then my thing, and this was when
Speaker 1: I was probably four or five, I mean really little.
Speaker 1: I stood. I was standing behind the driver's seat one time,
Speaker 1: and like my sister was in the passenger seat and
Speaker 1: my cousin was in the back seat with me, and
Speaker 1: I was standing up. So I was, you know, only
Speaker 1: three feet tall or four feet tall, holding onto my
Speaker 1: dad's seat, the driver's seat, And then I realized it
Speaker 1: would be funny if I covered his eyes while he
Speaker 1: was dying. So I flap my hands over his eyes
Speaker 1: and he starts laughing. He's like, you can't do that,
Speaker 1: you know, and he has to pull my hands off. Well,
Speaker 1: getting a laugh from my dad was pretty rare, so
Speaker 1: then I was like, I have to do it again.
Speaker 1: And then I slapped my hands over his eyes and
Speaker 1: would not take them off, and he's like, Karen, and
Speaker 1: he's like literally has to like wrench my fingers and he's.
Speaker 4: Like, I can't see.
Speaker 1: You had to uncover my eye. It was like because
Speaker 1: I was little enough where I was like this is hilarious,
Speaker 1: and he was laughing he wasn't like mad at me,
Speaker 1: but he but I could see so I didn't understand
Speaker 1: that he really couldn't say yeah, yeah, and he was
Speaker 1: still going. It was hilarious and we had got so
Speaker 1: much fun in.
Speaker 4: That could have been the end of it all. It really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had to take his foot off the gas.
Speaker 4: My dad had a Volkswagen bus like we had, the
Speaker 4: with a camper. He like cut a hole in the
Speaker 4: roof and put a pop up tent on it and
Speaker 4: there was a hammock and we would go camping in
Speaker 4: that and that was a good memory of mine. But yeah,
Speaker 4: there was a time where it was icy and where
Speaker 4: this is a rear wheel drive van that oddly has
Speaker 4: some old Portion motor in it. It's got like the
Speaker 4: same engine. It's like a Portion nine fourteen or.
Speaker 1: That's how they make those.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's just terrible on the ice
Speaker 4: and we slid and that was the only wreck I
Speaker 4: ever got in as a kid, at least, And I
Speaker 4: was sitting in the back and like you said, no
Speaker 4: seat belts, I just launched from the back and all
Speaker 4: of a sudden, I remember, without being hurt or anything,
Speaker 4: was just up front next to my Dad, I just tumbled.
Speaker 4: You know, you're a little pliable kid. But it was
Speaker 4: not scary at all. I just felt like I was
Speaker 4: safe in there because you're in you're in a room
Speaker 4: where you can just walk around. Who needs seat belts
Speaker 4: if you have some room to fly? There isn't a
Speaker 4: window right in front of me? What's bad is going
Speaker 4: to happen?
Speaker 1: Did that one have?
Speaker 4: Did you have?
Speaker 1: Was it like a camper van where it had a
Speaker 1: sink and a table and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: I had a table that we would only stick in
Speaker 4: the hole that he put in the floor, Like there's
Speaker 4: a little mount for it that we would only use
Speaker 4: when we were camping otherwise. I don't know where it
Speaker 4: went above somewhere, but yeah, it had no seats in it.
Speaker 4: It was just an open yeah like one and.
Speaker 1: Then you could fold down the back seats so that
Speaker 1: you could totally in there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've it comfortably slept four somehow.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's Pete had one of those and we drove
Speaker 1: to Oregon in it five different times. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: really fun.
Speaker 4: I will never forget driving in that. Like, I don't
Speaker 4: know how I know we went to Oregon at least
Speaker 4: to see the guy my dad's radio partner lived in Astoria,
Speaker 4: the Goony's town, and it was so fun. The memories
Speaker 4: of driving in the van going down there. I think
Speaker 4: usually we were in the Buick and we would go
Speaker 4: all the way down to San Diego and see family
Speaker 4: that my dad had there. But those those road trip
Speaker 4: memories were the best, like learning to be funny with
Speaker 4: my sis during the backseat, and and listening to music
Speaker 4: and everything from doing puzzle. I vividly remember Tony the
Speaker 4: Tiger coloring book. Like every memory, all the music, everything
Speaker 4: about those trips is still so vivid to me. It's
Speaker 4: so so clearly I was having a good time totally.
Speaker 1: I also like, I'm very grateful that I grew up
Speaker 1: in the mid to late seventies because the AM radio
Speaker 1: music was so awesome. It was like, you know, now
Speaker 1: it's basically yacht rock. Yeah, that's what we had. You
Speaker 1: just turn on the radio and that's what was always playing.
Speaker 1: It was like it was rad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like it's like AM radio had fewer stipulations
Speaker 4: and it was up to the DJ, so you would
Speaker 4: just get some someone that was playing what they liked,
Speaker 4: that was passionate about music. But yeah, now it's now
Speaker 4: it's just ham radio, weather highlights or whatever. I don't
Speaker 4: know what's a sports talk is.
Speaker 1: It doesn't even exist anymore. I don't know. Ye, all right,
Speaker 1: should we do one last one? God, we've been.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've been gabbing. We'll we'll have to do another
Speaker 4: episode of Q and A.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this was a quick one. I don't know if
Speaker 5: I want to end on this one, if that's okay.
Speaker 5: But this is from Dumpster AF. Ask who is more likable,
Speaker 5: Donald Duck or Daffy Duck.
Speaker 4: Oh I if we tell well, I mean we I
Speaker 4: love Wait a minute, Oh no, we're talking about bugs, bunny.
Speaker 4: This is new territory.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is brand new Dumpster AF dumpsters fuck knows
Speaker 1: what they're talking about.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Daffy Duck was I just think there's a lot
Speaker 4: of spitting. Daffy Duck had a speech impediment. It's just
Speaker 4: during the quarantine. I think would be harder to hang
Speaker 4: out with that duck. But Daffy, we just got a
Speaker 4: you know, I think he's probably goofy er in more fun.
Speaker 4: But Donald, you know, Donald was in the military. You
Speaker 4: know he's gonna be uh probably Republican.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 4: I don't know he.
Speaker 1: Donald didn't have much of a personality. He was kind
Speaker 1: of like I never fucking understood what he was saying.
Speaker 1: It was too like I don't know why that was
Speaker 1: the Duck voice. He just seemed kind of like he
Speaker 1: was he didn't have Daffy Duck had such personality. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and even though yes, he flew off the handle and
Speaker 1: spit and crossed his arms a lot and there was issues.
Speaker 4: But I'm just seeing myself and him. Yeah, I do
Speaker 4: all those things.
Speaker 1: I like that. I think it's you know, there's he's
Speaker 1: well rounded in terms of you know, he had his flaws,
Speaker 1: but he wasn't uh yeah, he wasn't like I feel
Speaker 1: like daf wait, that's Daffy. Donald did a lot of
Speaker 1: like pushing up his duck arms like and marching upstairs
Speaker 1: where it's like, I don't want to fucking watch this guy.
Speaker 1: I think I was always frustrated watching Donald Duck, and
Speaker 1: I was always laughing when I was watching Daffy Duck.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you're right. I think I changed my
Speaker 4: uh yeah. Plus, Donald always you know, he took the
Speaker 4: time to put on a military style shirt but never pants,
Speaker 4: no plants.
Speaker 1: Put on some pants just like porky pig. They were bottomless.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker's over there.
Speaker 4: Put on some You're representing this country. God damn it,
Speaker 4: put on some pants.
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, this question. So this is from Ashley Lane
Speaker 5: aka constant Designer Kay. She just got engaged during the quarantine.
Speaker 4: Congratulations, Congratulations.
Speaker 1: It must be real if it happened during the quarantine,
Speaker 1: it is real.
Speaker 4: I saw it on Instagram. There's only truths, no the love. Oh,
Speaker 4: I gotcha, I got you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, congratulations Ashley.
Speaker 5: She just asked what kind of jokes would you tell
Speaker 5: if you performed at a wedding?
Speaker 4: Inappropriate ones? Judging by my uh experience, it's always a
Speaker 4: few drinks and I feel like there's pressure to roast
Speaker 4: my friend. It's usually a groom that I want to
Speaker 4: partially embarrass. Yep, And I probably should be doing it
Speaker 4: when the wedding first starts, but it keeps going on
Speaker 4: and on, and then you got to watch them dance
Speaker 4: and maybe wait for a cake situation to happen. So
Speaker 4: by the time it's my turn to talk, and it
Speaker 4: makes me really nervous to speak at weddings. It's like
Speaker 4: you have to say something poignant. You can't just tell
Speaker 4: a bunch of jokes. But I always prepare for weddings
Speaker 4: and I've always done well, but I have gone over
Speaker 4: the top, and someone's feelings will get hurt. Not usually
Speaker 4: the brighter groom, but someone a relative or family mem
Speaker 4: I'll take it out on someone. And I'm you know,
Speaker 4: I'm not a roast comic of any kind, but I
Speaker 4: take weddings and I turn them into a roast, and
Speaker 4: I well, you have to.
Speaker 1: I would say. I told this to my dad once
Speaker 1: because he used to do these firemen banquets where they
Speaker 1: like a old fireman would retire and then you know,
Speaker 1: one hundred firemen would go get I'll eat dinner together
Speaker 1: and drink together, and then and somebody would mce. So
Speaker 1: one time my dad was the host or whatever, and
Speaker 1: he was asked asking me for help, and I said, Dad,
Speaker 1: here's the key to all of it is you. Whatever
Speaker 1: the first thing you say is has to be something
Speaker 1: that everyone has been observing in the room the whole time.
Speaker 1: You will destroy. So like even if you just walk
Speaker 1: up and go thanks for everybody coming tonight. These curtains
Speaker 1: were shipped in by you know, mousey tongue. I don't
Speaker 1: know whatever I thought. Some slam on something that you
Speaker 1: know it's in the room, everyone's been staring at it
Speaker 1: the whole time. He'll think you're a genius. And once
Speaker 1: you do that, it'll break the ice for them and you.
Speaker 1: You will get the first big response because they won't
Speaker 1: expect it, and it'll be like a thing that they've
Speaker 1: been marinating in for an hour while they're eating and drinking,
Speaker 1: and then you go up and that's like before we
Speaker 1: start blah blah blah whatever it is, and then you
Speaker 1: just kick it off and then they'll they'll know you
Speaker 1: have it in hand and once, because as a female comic,
Speaker 1: I always felt like that's something I had to quickly
Speaker 1: make sure they understood. I knew what I was. I
Speaker 1: wasn't up there going like, oh hi, everybody, I hope
Speaker 1: everything's It's like you immediately go guys, you put on
Speaker 1: like the fake confidence and then do a thing that
Speaker 1: they're not expecting, which is you've been staring at your plates,
Speaker 1: did you notice the global whatever it is? And then
Speaker 1: you earn their immediate trust and then they don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about you, because I think audiences worry about
Speaker 1: female comics more than they do male comics, and so
Speaker 1: you have to like get convey that you're very good
Speaker 1: at what you do and like you're you're on it.
Speaker 1: And he told me it was like he went up
Speaker 1: and did this thing and it was about whoever. Whatever
Speaker 1: it was, he said it was the best advice and
Speaker 1: it immediately immediately destroyed and then everything else was like
Speaker 1: gravy after that. So that's I would say Ashley's asking
Speaker 1: because she it's a future, she's worried about it in
Speaker 1: the future. That's the thing to tell the person says like, definitely,
Speaker 1: don't roast too hard. It's not about slamming Grandma or whatever,
Speaker 1: Like don't don't get about yourself. It's about the you're
Speaker 1: talking about the experience of the wedding and the relationship
Speaker 1: and that it's all supposed to be like fun times,
Speaker 1: family times, but also be entertaining. Like if you're going
Speaker 1: to attack anybody, attack some dumb groomsmen because they can
Speaker 1: take it. They're used to it.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I was always making a groomsman feel bad.
Speaker 4: I think that's what I meant to say. But that
Speaker 4: is such good advice as right away commanding it and
Speaker 4: using something that is in the moment, and I do
Speaker 4: that with stand up too. There was all this pressure
Speaker 4: when I first started to like know exactly what your
Speaker 4: first joke is going to be and then your last
Speaker 4: joke and fill in the blanks. And I always like
Speaker 4: to be say something off the top of my head
Speaker 4: in the beginning, which sometimes would backfire. I guess if
Speaker 4: you yes, if you say something about the curtains and
Speaker 4: then someone's mom had made them, and then their feelings
Speaker 4: are you know, but it is it is a good
Speaker 4: way right away, way to be like, this is just me.
Speaker 4: Here's my ability right right away. Just know that here's
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be funny. Okay, now that we got that
Speaker 4: out of the way, here's my prepared things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's almost like I think it was
Speaker 1: a trick I taught myself where I would watch other
Speaker 1: people go up and they'd be killing and they would
Speaker 1: go up and had like the perfect opening joke or
Speaker 1: the perfectness, and I would start getting this panicked, like
Speaker 1: I have to beat this. It like because of course
Speaker 1: that's all I have. I'm so competitive and so like psychotic.
Speaker 1: I would just be like I have to beat this.
Speaker 1: I had to beat this, so it'd be like if
Speaker 1: I went fourth or later, I could always I knew.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I can make a joke about Craig
Speaker 1: Fitzimmons because he went on before me, or like you
Speaker 1: can use what already happened. And yes, there's definitely times
Speaker 1: where it did not work or people just don't like it.
Speaker 1: But when they do like it, it works times ten
Speaker 1: because yeah, then they go, oh, yeah, the one thing
Speaker 1: I didn't realize or whatever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's callbacks. Man, they are helpful. Oh they work,
Speaker 4: They totally work. Well.
Speaker 1: Congratulations Ashley, We're so happy for you, and yeah for
Speaker 1: all your artwork and participation. Thanks everybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Ashley, you're the best. Yeah, we think you're the best. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so nice you found love during COVID nineteen's pandemic.
Speaker 4: May we all.
Speaker 1: May we all get engaged with it within the month.
Speaker 4: Yeah, someone someone will come knocking on my door anything now.
Speaker 1: I just know my old neighbor will come up and
Speaker 1: tell me I'm beautiful again soon, God bless it so
Speaker 1: his soul.
Speaker 4: Well, I guess I guess we should save the rest
Speaker 4: of the questions for next time, since we're yeah, getting
Speaker 4: close to the end. Yeah, I did want to mention, Yes,
Speaker 4: I have a stand up special that is pre releasing
Speaker 4: on We're Gnarly without a G. It already was a
Speaker 4: U R all that the my my buddy Whitey that
Speaker 4: produced my special. He owned it already, So We're gnarly
Speaker 4: dot com and then it'll just be a link to
Speaker 4: download or rent my special. Great and then later on
Speaker 4: Amazon and stuff.
Speaker 1: And yes, so the pre release is on We're Gnarly
Speaker 1: with No G yess yeah dot com.
Speaker 4: Yeah, w E R E n A r l y
Speaker 4: dot awsome.
Speaker 1: I watched Chris at several sets while he was getting
Speaker 1: ready for this special and it's I know, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: Oh also, my friend j Jason Lopez went and said
Speaker 1: it was amazing and that he cried at the end.
Speaker 4: I oh get So it was in Portland.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he lives in Portland.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, that's sweet. Tell him thank you very much.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think you met him. You may have met
Speaker 1: he may have just set gone up and said hi
Speaker 1: or I or I just put him on your list.
Speaker 4: No, no, I think he did say hi. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he's an old crew yours.
Speaker 1: We used to work at the Gap together when we
Speaker 1: were nice.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, okay, friends, Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he's the best.
Speaker 4: That's so great that that's awesome. Yeah and he was.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so some reason that was an important night for me. Yeah,
Speaker 6: he's he saw it.
Speaker 1: He was my eyes for me because I couldn't be
Speaker 1: there because I think I was on the road too,
Speaker 1: or was like I wanted to go up and watch it,
Speaker 1: and then it was like I think I was just
Speaker 1: getting back from somewhere on my way. And then I said,
Speaker 1: fuck you, Yeah you were.
Speaker 4: You were on the road a lot, and I remember that,
Speaker 4: fuck you, but yeah, you were. You were. You were
Speaker 4: deep into some uh my favorite murder touring at the time.
Speaker 1: I was deep into some cheese sandwiches and gostdam.
Speaker 4: No, not melted, just sliced and dry the way I
Speaker 4: like it dry.
Speaker 1: I want to choke on it. Uh. This was great,
Speaker 1: and Stephen, you think we have more. We think we
Speaker 1: could do it again.
Speaker 5: Oh they only did seven questions out of seventy.
Speaker 1: This is now a Q and a podcast for sure.
Speaker 5: The great stuff left.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do it again.
Speaker 1: Beautiful.
Speaker 4: Thank you you've been listening to do you? Oh my god,
Speaker 4: you've been listening? Do you? You need a ride? You
Speaker 4: you deane air? Are you leaving? I you wanna way
Speaker 4: back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 2: turning on and Gabe.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside. We want to
Speaker 3: welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 4: We scared?
Speaker 1: Or was it fine?
Speaker 4: Mal porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen
Speaker 4: and Cress
Speaker 5: M h