Speaker 1: Malague has how the knowledge you want, my league, but
Speaker 1: has how a knowledge you need?
Speaker 2: Yet they have out the.
Speaker 3: Books that the whole wild world. What dread Malague?
Speaker 1: But welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Malik's Book Show bringing a
Speaker 1: world together with books, culture and community.
Speaker 4: Y'all.
Speaker 1: We had a wonderful what they call a tiny death experience,
Speaker 1: but it was called the Milik Books Show, Books and
Speaker 1: Music Experience where we had a full on concert and
Speaker 1: book talk at Malik Books a few weeks ago with the.
Speaker 4: Five time Grammy winner PJ. Morton.
Speaker 1: It went down inside of Milik Books in the Westfield,
Speaker 1: Coobe City, standing room only. He performed some of his hits.
Speaker 1: Man he broke them, broke the crowd down with his
Speaker 1: most famous song. One of his most famous song which
Speaker 1: is called let Go Let God and that right dead
Speaker 1: man was so electric and motivational.
Speaker 4: Man, it was great.
Speaker 1: You know, a concert and a book talk right inside
Speaker 1: the bookstore with five time Grammy winner PJ.
Speaker 4: Morton.
Speaker 1: Now his book they just came out, which we got
Speaker 1: all the graph copies at Moleague Books. It's called Saturday
Speaker 1: Night Sunday Morning. It's about PJ. Morton's life growing up
Speaker 1: in the church as well as becoming a jazz.
Speaker 4: And R and B artist.
Speaker 1: He plays the piano as well as the other instruments.
Speaker 4: But it was so electric, so powerful, and his book
Speaker 4: is simply a book to.
Speaker 1: Talk about how to be in the world, but not
Speaker 1: of it. You see what I'm saying, be in the world,
Speaker 1: not of it. He didn't lose his soul because he
Speaker 1: sang circular type music. Doesn't wanna be called the gospel
Speaker 1: and be labeled gospel artists. But his music is filled
Speaker 1: with so much passion, so much soul, and so much
Speaker 1: of our I guess storytelling. You know, he speaks from
Speaker 1: the heart, He speaks from his experience, but his soul
Speaker 1: for music, it's hard for music. And the book just
Speaker 1: tells his journey. He went to Africa, spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time. That's his new album just out and he's
Speaker 1: it's one of the new songs he just came up with,
Speaker 1: is I Found Love?
Speaker 4: Well, basically cause.
Speaker 1: He went to Africa, he found love and he wrote
Speaker 1: a whole spiritual album just on that that just came out.
Speaker 4: I think it's called From Cairo to Egypt something like that.
Speaker 4: You can't quote me on it, but BJ Morton did
Speaker 4: a nice talk.
Speaker 1: The moderator for the event was was from k jlho
Speaker 1: sponsor the event.
Speaker 4: That's a Stevie Wonder's black radio station right here in
Speaker 4: the community.
Speaker 1: And they had a Ricky Rutgers was the moderator, was
Speaker 1: one of the DJ's over at KJLA.
Speaker 4: So we're very we were very blessed and grateful.
Speaker 1: It was packed house, standing room only, two hundred people
Speaker 1: grooving and jivan into the talk and into the music.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm I labeled this our first concert in
Speaker 1: book talk. I believe I labeled the Elite's books, you know,
Speaker 1: music and books. I'm gonna be posted on YouTube. You
Speaker 1: gotta go to YouTube cause it's.
Speaker 4: Gonna be called just that Elite Books, music and Books.
Speaker 1: We're trying to do a whole series of concerts and
Speaker 1: book talks right inside.
Speaker 4: Elite Books in the Westfield, Coca City Mall. But it
Speaker 4: was powerful and it.
Speaker 1: Was the one for the books. It was his start
Speaker 1: and when he we gotta signed copies of this book
Speaker 1: Saturday night Sunday morning. How you can be in the world,
Speaker 1: not of it, still keep your spiritual walk, still keep
Speaker 1: your beliefs, but yet find the joy in the world,
Speaker 1: find the love and joy and happiness in the world.
Speaker 1: And that's what PJ. Morton was able to because his
Speaker 1: father's a big time preacher now big time preacher. So
Speaker 1: oftentimes those types of children become gospel scene. Well, DJ
Speaker 1: didn't want to just be a gospel scene. He wanted
Speaker 1: to be an R and B and jazz. You know,
Speaker 1: he from Louisiana.
Speaker 4: And they are that's the heart of America for musicians.
Speaker 1: Boo the coase a doma doesn't They don't mean they're
Speaker 1: all good, but they show can play, They show love music,
Speaker 1: they show can.
Speaker 4: Play the mystery and out there you can.
Speaker 1: Go from bar to bar and get live music all
Speaker 1: throughout Bourbon Street or Canal Street. Out there in Louisiana,
Speaker 1: that's where the home of the Essence Festival take place.
Speaker 1: And Boy or Boy, that was an expreend. I went
Speaker 1: for the first time this year twenty twenty four, had
Speaker 1: a wonderful time. So but once again this particular episode.
Speaker 4: Is going to feature a talk.
Speaker 1: A book talk that my wife had at Malague Books
Speaker 1: where she talked about The Accidental Parent.
Speaker 4: With Adrian Allen and we also got signed copies that book.
Speaker 1: Inside of the Malague book, but she did a book
Speaker 1: talk and discussion about being an accidental parent, and I.
Speaker 4: Know a lot of y'all can relate.
Speaker 1: To that because we have a lot of grandparents raising
Speaker 1: their grandchildren or nieces nephews being raised by their uncles
Speaker 1: or nieces or grandparents.
Speaker 4: So it happens in every community.
Speaker 1: And that's what this book is about, becoming an accidental parent,
Speaker 1: stepping up when one of.
Speaker 4: Your family members isn't able to.
Speaker 1: And so they had a nice discussion about this book
Speaker 1: called The Accidental Parent by Adrian Alexander Allen and we
Speaker 1: do have some signed copies. But one thing I want
Speaker 1: to point out is that she's an independent, self published author,
Speaker 1: and that's how Malik Books got started.
Speaker 4: That's how Malik Books started.
Speaker 1: Back in nineteen nine, were a lot of self published
Speaker 1: and independent authors.
Speaker 4: So we always give love to.
Speaker 1: Our independent author when we can. We don't always just
Speaker 1: do events where we highlight just celebrities or best selling authors,
Speaker 1: but we do take time out to host independent self
Speaker 1: public and give them as inside of my League books.
Speaker 4: And Adrian Alexander.
Speaker 1: Had a robust conversation with April who was the moderator
Speaker 1: for this event. So I'm gonna feature that on this episode,
Speaker 1: Accidental parent.
Speaker 2: Welcome Tonight is gonna be a beautiful conversation between you
Speaker 2: and I. Yes, and we're gonna talk about personal issues
Speaker 2: about accidental parenting. Yes, And I said in the back,
Speaker 2: it's really not an accident. It's just what you were
Speaker 2: supposed to do. And everything happened in the vine tie
Speaker 2: and then the vine time was just your moment. My
Speaker 2: moment happened maybe two and a half years ago with
Speaker 2: my grandchildren. They are now four and three years old.
Speaker 2: And mind you, my children are nineteen and seventeen. So
Speaker 2: that's like starting all over again, starting all over again.
Speaker 3: And I welcome it.
Speaker 2: I wasn't fully well, I can't say fully it was
Speaker 2: confusing to me, like, okay, so what do.
Speaker 3: We do do we you know, do it full on?
Speaker 2: Or how do we do this? Then at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, time will let you know how to
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 3: I started over a little.
Speaker 5: It was a little more of a start over for me.
Speaker 5: My kids are and this has been for me. It's
Speaker 5: been about three years now. And at the time my
Speaker 5: children were maybe how were they so maybe like twenty seven,
Speaker 5: twenty five and twenty Yes, and So at the time
Speaker 5: my youngest son was just graduating high school.
Speaker 3: I was on my way out. I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't have.
Speaker 5: To worry about no school meetings. I don't have to
Speaker 5: worry about oh my god. I was like, I don't
Speaker 5: have to worry about making sure nobody get on the
Speaker 5: school bus. I don't have to worry about waking nobody up.
Speaker 5: I don't have to do any of that. And in
Speaker 5: the blink of them.
Speaker 3: Now I was cheating, yep, change overnight. So it's just
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 5: It's it's very it's confusing, it's interesting, it's it's a
Speaker 5: lot like we say, you ain't gonna keep on representations back,
Speaker 5: but I mean, it is a lot of emotions to go.
Speaker 3: Through to go with it.
Speaker 2: Yes, sure, minds came from just confusion.
Speaker 3: Like confusion of am I doing the right thing.
Speaker 6: For my grandchildren, for my marriage, for my own children?
Speaker 6: Am I doing the right thing? And at the end
Speaker 6: of the day, I feel in my heart that I
Speaker 6: did the right thing by getting in the.
Speaker 2: Car driving from California to Tijuana in the car with
Speaker 2: my husband and my two children to get my grandchildren.
Speaker 3: I know that we well, I know that I did
Speaker 3: the right thing because I'm a driver.
Speaker 2: As we spoke before, I'm a driver, and I had
Speaker 2: so many things and thoughts in my head about this situation.
Speaker 3: And I know that at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: my grandchildren needed like I needed so many people in
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 2: Like I'm fifty years old now and I know so
Speaker 2: many Oh, it's a term that we that we gonna
Speaker 2: talk about, Yeah, kinship, kinship, kinship and caregiving. Yes, but
Speaker 2: I know so many people and in my life that
Speaker 2: that offered that to me. It didn't have that term
Speaker 2: back in the day, right, but that term, let's talk
Speaker 2: about that term. Yeah, So what we were talking about
Speaker 2: is kinship care. And what I realized cause I did release.
Speaker 5: My book on Grandparents' Day because what is that September eighth, Okay,
Speaker 5: and a lot of people don't know that there is
Speaker 5: a grandparents Day, and so I felt it was right
Speaker 5: because most of kinship care givers are grandparents, and so
Speaker 5: I wanted to celebrate grandparents by releasing a book on
Speaker 5: that day. But in these last two months since I
Speaker 5: released the book, I realized.
Speaker 3: So many people have never heard the term kinship care. Well,
Speaker 3: we didn't have that turn, but you going to your grandparents.
Speaker 2: Are you going to Auntie summing Tom house and you
Speaker 2: that's that was your home?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And that's what we were like, yes, because you know,
Speaker 5: another thing that happened was you just got dropped off, right,
Speaker 5: that's it.
Speaker 3: There was no legal paperwork, there was no you know, like,
Speaker 3: there wasn't a lot of conversation about it. I need
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 5: For me, I've never lived anywhere else. I never lived
Speaker 5: with my parents. I know who my parents were, they
Speaker 5: were around, but my home was my grandparents' house.
Speaker 3: And there was no.
Speaker 5: Legal document to be like y'all got custody of her
Speaker 5: or they adopted me or anything like that.
Speaker 3: It's just like this is where you live. This is home.
Speaker 5: And so it's like now people allow people's experience or
Speaker 5: have experienced kinship care, but just don't know until you
Speaker 5: explained it, like they've experienced it, they've lived it. And
Speaker 5: then when you say, well that's kinship there and now, oh,
Speaker 5: oh that's what that is, I just thought, right, yeah,
Speaker 5: it's a kinship care.
Speaker 2: That was a term that that was when you and
Speaker 2: I st started our conversation.
Speaker 3: Yes, what's that about a year and a half ago.
Speaker 3: It's and that's so crazy right here at this calendar. Yes,
Speaker 3: And we just started conversating Conversatan about something that we
Speaker 3: could relate to.
Speaker 2: And that was our our grandchildren and becoming accidental.
Speaker 5: Parents, right, Yes, And so the book is the Accidental Parent,
Speaker 5: Nurturing love and unfreseen circumstances. It was written for individuals
Speaker 5: standing in the gap raising children who aren't biologically their
Speaker 5: own due to addiction, incarceration.
Speaker 3: Or tragedy. Yes, and Minus's.
Speaker 5: Addiction and my early experience was addiction. Yes, I'm being
Speaker 5: raised by my grandparents because my parents.
Speaker 3: Struggled with addictions.
Speaker 5: And now it's because of incarcerations.
Speaker 3: Twofold Mines was for me.
Speaker 2: Minues was addiction because of my parents, and then mine's
Speaker 2: now is addiction because of my son.
Speaker 3: Yes, so it's and I knew that that when it happened.
Speaker 3: Just you have to do it. You need to so
Speaker 3: many people that have done it for you. Yeah, so many, Bee,
Speaker 3: So it needs to be specificated and impeciprocated.
Speaker 2: Would love and a blessed heart because I know if
Speaker 2: if people didn't bless me with their time and just
Speaker 2: woke me in in their home, I.
Speaker 3: Don't know what the outcome of April will be yes.
Speaker 2: So I give that back to my grandchildren, my kids,
Speaker 2: you know, I get that back.
Speaker 3: I was telling somebody the other day.
Speaker 5: I was like, I've tried to be different with my granddaughter.
Speaker 5: It is and it's funny because, man, it's funny because
Speaker 5: I feel like.
Speaker 3: Our grandkids or our grandchild.
Speaker 2: Third question too, navigating the difference between parenting.
Speaker 5: Skills, Oh my gosh, and so's it's funny because grandchildren.
Speaker 5: I feel like grandchildren these days are winning because they
Speaker 5: are getting it from experience.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 5: I know what I did, I know what happened to
Speaker 5: me and how I was raised.
Speaker 3: I know how I raised my kids.
Speaker 5: And so now raising another generation, it's like all of
Speaker 5: the experience and the lessons are there. However, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 5: I am going to do different from what I did
Speaker 5: with my children and try not to be like because
Speaker 5: I said so, or you just do it because I
Speaker 5: want you to do it, or you know, really having conversations.
Speaker 2: Oh, my grandson, why everything is why GM? And I
Speaker 2: try my best to explain it to him, but I'm like, okay, now.
Speaker 3: It's because I said so.
Speaker 5: And so that's and I do with with Ava, I
Speaker 5: will allow her the space to share, you know, like
Speaker 5: what she's feeling and what she's going through.
Speaker 3: But y'all, she stomped me the other day.
Speaker 5: Oh, shet me the other day, and you know it
Speaker 5: it I had we had a conversation earlier on in
Speaker 5: the week and she kind of like snapped at me
Speaker 5: a little bit, and I was like, hey, you can't
Speaker 5: talk to grandma.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 3: Grandma doesn't like that. That's not nice.
Speaker 5: And so then, you know, fast forward later in the
Speaker 5: week and she was putting on her school uniform and
Speaker 5: she was having struggles with it zipper in her backs.
Speaker 5: So I was like, well, let me just hold it.
Speaker 5: I'll hold it, you zip and so I held it.
Speaker 5: She zipping it. Well, you didn't let me do it,
Speaker 5: and I was like, hey, watch your tone, watch your tone.
Speaker 5: And she stomped and she's like, I am a big girl.
Speaker 5: I don't need help from anyone.
Speaker 3: And I guess I blacked.
Speaker 5: Out because you know, the next thing I know, she crying.
Speaker 3: I'm like listen, yeah, I remember those days. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 3: hold on. I was like, I tried to help you.
Speaker 5: I was like, if you are big enough for a
Speaker 5: big girl enough to talk to me like that you
Speaker 5: big girl.
Speaker 3: Enough with these consequences. Yes, yes, with.
Speaker 5: These and so yeah, so I'm trying. I'm trying, but.
Speaker 7: I have a seat.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for yes, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: That's my friend, y'all.
Speaker 3: I'm wanting to ask you a question. Lessons lessons that.
Speaker 2: Not only for your grand daughter, but lessons to yourself.
Speaker 3: That's a great question. Ooh, that's a great question.
Speaker 5: I I feel like that is a part of the
Speaker 5: lesson as well, like allowing her cause I I tell her,
Speaker 5: you know, like let's have a conversation about why you're
Speaker 5: angry or why you're sad, or you know, like anything
Speaker 5: like let's let's breathe through it, let's talk about it.
Speaker 5: And so that's a lesson for both of us because
Speaker 5: it helps me with my patience and my tolerance as well.
Speaker 4: Y'all.
Speaker 3: One time I was talking to her.
Speaker 5: I I I was cause I do try to give
Speaker 5: her a space, her big girl's space to get herself
Speaker 5: ready and you know, like do whatever she can.
Speaker 3: Do on her own.
Speaker 5: M And one morning she was getting dressed and I
Speaker 5: I was just doing busy stuff in the garage, and
Speaker 5: I was like, Ava, are you dressed? And she was
Speaker 5: like no, can you just wait?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: And I was like and that's exactly And I was like,
Speaker 5: well wait, like she he's really saying.
Speaker 3: Can you wait give me a minute?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: And it was like, you know, for us, we are yes,
Speaker 3: can you wait? But before I jumped out, I was like.
Speaker 5: She it was innocent enough, like are you like just
Speaker 5: give me a minute, and not to receive it like
Speaker 5: can you wait?
Speaker 3: Her being smart because I hopefully she ain't mean it
Speaker 3: that way.
Speaker 5: I'm going to receive it as she ain't mean it
Speaker 5: that way, so I don't have to get out on her.
Speaker 5: But those are the lessons, right, The lessons are really identifying.
Speaker 3: What is.
Speaker 5: What is innocent from from a four year old brain
Speaker 5: versus me receiving it as a year yeah, And so
Speaker 5: that that is the lesson because I really was, cause
Speaker 5: I instantly, like everybody in here when I heard it,
Speaker 5: I was like, can I wait? But then I was like,
Speaker 5: wait a minute, maybe she didn't mean it that.
Speaker 2: Way, and so I was just like, Okay, my lesson
Speaker 2: that I I've learned through this whole experience of grandparenting,
Speaker 2: accident parenting. It's patience, patience not only with them, but
Speaker 2: patience with myself. Patience with myself, cause it's conversations that
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 3: With my grandchildren that I did not have with my
Speaker 3: my kids.
Speaker 2: M my kids are like, if I tell you more
Speaker 2: than one time, there's a problem, that's right, there's there's.
Speaker 3: There's a problem.
Speaker 2: With my grandchildren, I give them a little bit more
Speaker 2: leadway because they're are they're they're they're in my home,
Speaker 2: but they're not in my home all the time, and
Speaker 2: the parenting that I give them they're not receiving elsewhere.
Speaker 2: So I have to be patient on that because they're
Speaker 2: hearing and seeing things.
Speaker 3: Differently other than in my household.
Speaker 2: But I do I I correct it out of of love.
Speaker 2: I corrected, Hey, we bless them here. We don't do
Speaker 2: that in here. We love each other in here.
Speaker 3: Don't talk to your sister like that, don't talk to
Speaker 3: your brother like that.
Speaker 2: And when they do argue, I did take this lesson
Speaker 2: that I did with my own children when they argued
Speaker 2: and fight, I used to make them sit in the
Speaker 2: mirror with each look at each other and hold each
Speaker 2: other's hand and tell each other how much.
Speaker 3: You love each other. And they did not like it.
Speaker 3: So my he's like no, I did not.
Speaker 2: Yes, so I do that with my grandchildren now, and
Speaker 2: they said, I love you Camilla.
Speaker 3: I love you Ishmael.
Speaker 2: What you like about your brother, what you like And
Speaker 2: then it helps me learn something about myself, like Okay,
Speaker 2: good job, and it's okay to have a good job
Speaker 2: to yourself because.
Speaker 3: We need it. Yes, we need the good jobs and
Speaker 3: job well done.
Speaker 2: And what else can I do to help you because
Speaker 2: we need to help as grandparents.
Speaker 3: Yes, I talk about that in the book.
Speaker 5: I'm not sure if that was one of your questions,
Speaker 5: but I talk about help in the book because as
Speaker 5: for how to ask for it, how to receive it,
Speaker 5: how to recognize it, how to tell people how to help,
Speaker 5: because not everybody knows the help that you need. And
Speaker 5: sometimes people offer help and it's the wrong kind of help,
Speaker 5: Like it's you know, even with my husband and my
Speaker 5: son or whatever, they would help, but help is a
Speaker 5: little more than changing a.
Speaker 3: Diaper at the time or making her.
Speaker 5: Something to eat or you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 5: it's like, you gotta like know the kind of help
Speaker 5: that I need and don't be offended when I say you,
Speaker 5: because they definitely got offended, and I was like you
Speaker 5: aren't helping or this isn't helping, and they would be like.
Speaker 3: Well how you how it'll help?
Speaker 5: Yeah, So it's like you really have to learn to
Speaker 5: understand and recognize what helps. Look what help looks like
Speaker 5: for you at whatever stage you're in, and so it's
Speaker 5: not gonna always be the same. Yes, the help is
Speaker 5: what help is needed at that time. And so we
Speaker 5: have to learn and especially because as because at first
Speaker 5: it was me like I was just like when Ama
Speaker 5: sick is me? When ever got to go to the
Speaker 5: daycare is me? Wheneva gotta be picked up from daycare
Speaker 5: is me? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: It's like, so those things are all me.
Speaker 5: So you coming in the room and talk to her
Speaker 5: for five minutes and then going on about your day.
Speaker 8: My routine, Yes, that is disruptive my routine, yes, yes,
Speaker 8: And so that is that's important.
Speaker 3: I have that. I have that.
Speaker 2: My husband and I we do it totally different. I
Speaker 2: have a routine that I follow and I follow it.
Speaker 2: He has this routine and I was like, that's burger
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 3: That's cool.
Speaker 2: But we have a routine that we go by. They
Speaker 2: know when it's my day and they know when it's
Speaker 2: g Daddy's day. They know, they know, they know the routine,
Speaker 2: and that's what the kids believe me though, Yeah, boutine,
Speaker 2: utine and structure.
Speaker 5: So I think for me though, I kind of lucked
Speaker 5: up on that part because we spoke about it a
Speaker 5: little bit. I honestly don't know how I would deal
Speaker 5: with the other side of the family.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, we talked to those I don't know.
Speaker 5: So, just to share with everyone here, my granddaughter's other
Speaker 5: side of the family is not involved at all, Like
Speaker 5: I don't I don't even I honestly don't know these people.
Speaker 5: Like you could be her grandfather and I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 5: how you doing because I don't know them, right and so,
Speaker 5: but for April, she is co grandparenting and better words, yes,
Speaker 5: and so I think that would be difficult for me
Speaker 5: because to your point, you have your things, your way
Speaker 5: of teaching, your the way that you are rearing her
Speaker 5: and her grandparents used to say, and so it's like
Speaker 5: to have someone undo what you do.
Speaker 3: I'm ready to fight. It's it's a hard task. It's
Speaker 3: gonna it's a hard task. What's it? What's the term
Speaker 3: relearning or rethinking? You know, as far, it's like doing
Speaker 3: it over and over here, so that's that's my task,
Speaker 3: Like okay, do it over again. So how so I
Speaker 3: have to say that.
Speaker 2: The other part, the other pair, isn't doing what they
Speaker 2: supposed to do. It's just what is not doing.
Speaker 3: It in my own It's just not nobody. Nothing is wrong.
Speaker 2: It's just different, Yeah, because there's different aspects of parenting
Speaker 2: and guidance, guidance different.
Speaker 5: And you know for us as as all grandparents, we
Speaker 5: parents in a different way because I know and I
Speaker 5: look at these young.
Speaker 3: Adults and these generations that want to call you by
Speaker 3: your first name, don't want don't want to.
Speaker 5: Don't want to say hi, don't say please and thank you.
Speaker 3: I have found so grandparenting.
Speaker 5: This is funny because grandparenting has made me want to grandparents' society.
Speaker 5: I looked at somebody grown man was in the elevator
Speaker 5: with me the other day and was like five, can
Speaker 5: you press five?
Speaker 3: And I was like please, that's fine, and so he
Speaker 3: said it, but I know he was cussing me out
Speaker 3: in his head.
Speaker 5: But it's like you please, like you have to say please,
Speaker 5: and so it's like, but that's what's going on, Like
Speaker 5: there's no manners anymore. There's no there's no discipline, there's
Speaker 5: no structure.
Speaker 3: And it's just like I couldnot baby.
Speaker 5: I don't, oh, April, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to because I don't know because if I
Speaker 3: had figure it out, you know, struggle it is because
Speaker 3: if she came back to me after a weekend acting away. Yeah,
Speaker 3: next question, it's.
Speaker 2: A lot, It's a lot.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: My next one was parenting through adversity. MM, parenting through adversity?
Speaker 2: How do you see that? I see it is parenting
Speaker 2: to through adversity because, as we said, my son is
Speaker 2: an addict and he's trying his best. And I know
Speaker 2: that's a different ball game, it's a different beast. But
Speaker 2: the adversity that I see it is the kids don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they they don't know, but they don't they know. My
Speaker 2: grandson knows a little bit because you know, when they
Speaker 2: come around with you don't know. But when my son
Speaker 2: do come around.
Speaker 3: The kids are very smart. They're very smart.
Speaker 2: They have feelings and I know that and I'm speaking
Speaker 2: out of experience, yes, because I ash ash I spoke before.
Speaker 2: My parents were addicts, but my mom was a functioning
Speaker 2: at it, so I knew when it would right, when
Speaker 2: she would roll, I knew in a couple of days,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be different around here.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be in this piece by myself.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to get to school by myself, and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come home by myself. But it's different with
Speaker 2: my son only because he has two well not too well.
Speaker 3: I can only speak for my household. He has two parents.
Speaker 2: Speaking of my husband myself that's willing to catch him,
Speaker 2: me catch him.
Speaker 3: As catch him as a father and catch him as
Speaker 3: a son.
Speaker 2: So dealing with adversities with parenting grandchildren. You wanna pop
Speaker 2: up and be dad today and then be absent tomorrow.
Speaker 3: That's hard. Yeah, I think for me, as.
Speaker 5: I've shared before and I've shared with others, the adversity
Speaker 5: for me right now is just raising Ava right and
Speaker 5: raising able to be a good person.
Speaker 3: The hard part is gonna come when my daughter comes home.
Speaker 5: So you know, it's like when my daughter comes home,
Speaker 5: she will have missed all of the formative years right
Speaker 5: Like I've done all the potty training, all of the building,
Speaker 5: the foundation, you know, the pleasing, thank you, the manners,
Speaker 5: the the whole thing. Like she will have missed all
Speaker 5: of the formative years. And the adversity comes in because
Speaker 5: she can't just come home and feel like she's gonna
Speaker 5: start being a primary parent like we we can that
Speaker 5: that is going to be. I don't know what that's
Speaker 5: gonna be.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be.
Speaker 5: A lot of adversity because again because my granddaughter knows her.
Speaker 5: She knows mommy, but she knows mommy through the phone
Speaker 5: or mommy on a computer when we do the video
Speaker 5: calls and anything like that. And she's only seen my
Speaker 5: daughter in person one time since she was a baby,
Speaker 5: and so you know, like one time that she saw her,
Speaker 5: they they play together. But even with that, like my
Speaker 5: daughter was you know, cause we went down to the prison,
Speaker 5: they had like a family day and so you know,
Speaker 5: I sat back and she was acting like not that
Speaker 5: she was acting like she was in a way or
Speaker 5: anything like that, but she definitely wasn't like a you know,
Speaker 5: let me grab her and take her and everything else
Speaker 5: like that, and you know, able want to keep on
Speaker 5: coming to me, and I'm like, nah, go buch your mother, you.
Speaker 3: Know, And so that is going to be It's gonna
Speaker 3: be a.
Speaker 5: Lot of conversations it's gonna be a lot of boundary setting,
Speaker 5: it's gonna be a lot of.
Speaker 3: Just figuring it out.
Speaker 5: But what I know one thousand percent is that she
Speaker 5: will not come to my home and feel like she's
Speaker 5: going to undo everything that we did. And so that
Speaker 5: whatever that means and whatever that takes, that's that's.
Speaker 3: What's going to happen and what's not going to happen. Yes,
Speaker 3: I see too. Also in your book.
Speaker 2: This journal, yes, this this is it's a guide and
Speaker 2: also a journal in it, and which is I felt
Speaker 2: was pretty dope because after you you've dove into this guide,
Speaker 2: what can you do with information?
Speaker 3: You can journal? And which is pretty dope. So tell
Speaker 3: us a lot.
Speaker 5: And what's crazy is the person who edited my book
Speaker 5: was like, I wouldn't advise any of my clients to
Speaker 5: add a journal at the fact, like I.
Speaker 3: Just don't feel like it's well.
Speaker 5: And I was like, I feel like it is necessary,
Speaker 5: and I did, Like, I let her do the editing
Speaker 5: and do the formatting and everything she did, and I
Speaker 5: added it afterwards because for me, to your point, I
Speaker 5: felt it was important for people to be able to
Speaker 5: write down what they learned, be able to take.
Speaker 3: Notes on what's important to them.
Speaker 5: Yes, whatever the important parts were to be able to
Speaker 5: maybe a jog, a core memory or something. Maybe something
Speaker 5: in the book sparked something else that you went through
Speaker 5: or something, but you needed a space to write it down,
Speaker 5: Like I wanted you to be able to have a
Speaker 5: space and a spot to write down whatever you took
Speaker 5: away from the book. And also too that that was
Speaker 5: the reason that I added stories from other people. Yes,
Speaker 5: because I wanted this book not only to be tips
Speaker 5: and tools on how to deal with what you're going through.
Speaker 3: I wanted you to hear the.
Speaker 5: Stories from other people so that you know you're not
Speaker 5: alone on this journey.
Speaker 3: And so I spoke to several people on both sides.
Speaker 3: I spoke to.
Speaker 5: Parents, accidental parents, and then individuals who were raised by
Speaker 5: accidental parents to see it from both sides, because you
Speaker 5: have to. And you and I spoke about this briefly
Speaker 5: in the fact, although you know, like my struggles and
Speaker 5: everything that I've gone through got me here and I
Speaker 5: love where I am. Yes, agreed, It's just like what
Speaker 5: if what if I had both of my parents?
Speaker 3: What if my parents didn't struggle with what they struggled with?
Speaker 5: What if I mean and then even on the opposite
Speaker 5: of that, what if I had my grandparents, Like, what
Speaker 5: if my grandparents were like, nah.
Speaker 3: Take this kids.
Speaker 5: So it's like, I want you to be able to
Speaker 5: have a space to reflect on all of those things.
Speaker 3: I'm on feback. I'm believe that everything happening to behind time.
Speaker 2: Yes, I believe that you are who you're supposed to
Speaker 2: be right now. Yes, even with no parents, grandparents, uncle,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna share this with you.
Speaker 3: I'm fifty years old and I just found out that
Speaker 3: my my father's not my father. He yes, I just
Speaker 3: like two months ago.
Speaker 2: And I don't feel betrayed, and I don't feel why
Speaker 2: none of that. My father was my father, My mother
Speaker 2: was my f my mother, and I was dealt those
Speaker 2: cards and.
Speaker 3: I played the hand I was dealt.
Speaker 2: I'm just appreciative of the time that I have with
Speaker 2: my DNA now.
Speaker 3: So going forward, I'm gonna enjoy whatever we give each other.
Speaker 2: That's what we're gonna give each other. I am the
Speaker 2: oldest of eleven oof. I grew up an only child.
Speaker 5: So I was gonna say, because I know that your
Speaker 5: husband shared that you met your dad, but I didn't
Speaker 5: know that you had a dad.
Speaker 3: That's so especial. Yeah, I'm interested in an accidental parent.
Speaker 2: My dad was a dad, but he wasn't a father
Speaker 2: that when he came picked me up. I still remember
Speaker 2: the phone number when you can say I'm coming and
Speaker 2: never showed up.
Speaker 3: At fifty years old, I still remember that phone number.
Speaker 3: I still remember the.
Speaker 2: Phone ungerer, are you coming. Whenever I say dad, I'm
Speaker 2: talking about my father. I'm not talking about DNA ohever.
Speaker 3: I always get that. Make sure understand whenever I say
Speaker 3: dad or father, I'm.
Speaker 2: Talking about that man who raised me and called me daughter,
Speaker 2: not the DNA because at this point DNA is DNA
Speaker 2: really don't matter. You know, relationships what you make them
Speaker 2: at the end of the day. But the father that
Speaker 2: I knew, I mean, it's it's accidental parent on him.
Speaker 2: He dropped me off at my grandparents off. Those were
Speaker 2: my parents.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 2: When my father would come and get me for my mom, he.
Speaker 3: Would take me to my and skirt out. You know,
Speaker 3: he still understand until the vice versa.
Speaker 5: With my mom.
Speaker 2: You know my mom, she you know, functioned in at
Speaker 2: it as I said, and you know she was out
Speaker 2: there and if she if I went to my Auntie's house,
Speaker 2: which was her friend, that was my aunt. I stayed
Speaker 2: there for forever, you know. I stayed there when she
Speaker 2: when her kids was in Catholic school. Everyone was in
Speaker 2: Catholic school too, you know, not because of direction of
Speaker 2: my mother.
Speaker 3: It is because she was accidentally parenting me.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I can't be great nothing but grateful for
Speaker 2: everybody who accidentally parent me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody. And I'm very appreciative of it, all of
Speaker 3: it all. So yeah, yeah, that DNA on job. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's why I was like, I knew I saw some
Speaker 3: of it, but of course I I wouldn't know the
Speaker 3: whole story. But yeah, I mean it is different because
Speaker 3: you know, even when you have your parents, that doesn't
Speaker 3: mean that they're the dad or the mom, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean.
Speaker 5: Like cause I have my step mother who passed away
Speaker 5: about two years ago now, but my stepmother remained my
Speaker 5: mother through divorce, through a new marriage. My dad married
Speaker 5: somebody else. I ain't even like that hick, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean. Like the first step mother was the
Speaker 5: one was stuck.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And so it's like even though my mom was around,
Speaker 3: even though he married this new woman, the step mother
Speaker 3: was the one like that was.
Speaker 5: That was who I spoke to, confided in who the
Speaker 5: kids knew everything, having divine daughter because I have a daughter,
Speaker 5: Yes I do, I have a daughter.
Speaker 3: I don't and I don't. None of my children are
Speaker 3: step children.
Speaker 4: None of them.
Speaker 3: They my kids, my daughter, son or whatever, and I
Speaker 3: have that. Come on, come on, okay, come on in here.
Speaker 3: The cat's to write. Yes, I believed a book story, Y'allso.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we appreciate you guys for being with us. This
Speaker 2: is gonna be our last little question. I want you
Speaker 2: to tell everybody we can get your book.
Speaker 3: That's our last question. Yes you got some more okay,
Speaker 3: but yes, the book is available on Amazon. Don't you
Speaker 3: say that in here?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: The book is available at malis dot com. If you
Speaker 3: get your autographed copy, she will be signed.
Speaker 2: A should be autographing her books and you can only
Speaker 2: get it autographed.
Speaker 3: Copies and books. There you go. If you are following us,
Speaker 3: please to Malik Books on all Socio California to come on.
Speaker 4: You got to come.
Speaker 2: Yes, we can't wait to see you, and we appreciate
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Speaker 3: Please come and see us and cope the location questions.
Speaker 3: What she really meant was Mak's book is amazing question.
Speaker 3: I had a correction. What I really wanted to do
Speaker 3: was thank you for coming and sharing your story.
Speaker 10: It brought up, It brought up I was also accidentally
Speaker 10: parented by a lot of people. What what you said was,
Speaker 10: did you say drugs, incarculation, incarcuation and devastation and tragedy.
Speaker 10: Mine was mental illness. So my mother was mentally ill
Speaker 10: and it felt like she was on drugs. Yeah, it's
Speaker 10: kind of almost the same. Is the actions can be
Speaker 10: very similar. So I was accidentally parented by my grandmother,
Speaker 10: by my eyes, by the foster care system, by McLaren Hall,
Speaker 10: by a lot.
Speaker 9: Of different because they didn't know what to do with me.
Speaker 3: So like that's how I ended up in McLaren House.
Speaker 3: So that's why when.
Speaker 10: I hear your story, I'm like, wow, it just brought
Speaker 10: up so many memories for me as a child, And
Speaker 10: God blessed you and you too able from taking care of.
Speaker 3: Someone else's child and giving them love and people.
Speaker 10: I I and it is so important to explain everything
Speaker 10: about life to kids.
Speaker 3: I think because I was in so many.
Speaker 9: Different homes and so many accidentally parenting situations.
Speaker 3: I think they assumed I knew stuff from home to home.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I didn't know anything about my like when you
Speaker 10: started yea, your female, my female, I didn't know any
Speaker 10: I think they assumed that I learned that from somewhere else.
Speaker 3: They No one talked me about how to talk to
Speaker 3: boys and how they approach you and the only thing
Speaker 3: that they want from you. I believe that they.
Speaker 9: Assume that someone else I already knew this. I have
Speaker 9: to learn all of these things on my own. And
Speaker 9: one of the most important things that I feel is
Speaker 9: you gotta tell a child. You got to tell them
Speaker 9: your experiences and the things that you know. And I'm
Speaker 9: so grateful that too. There are two women in this
Speaker 9: world you're too, sitting up there so that are doing
Speaker 9: this and are parenting these these children now. And what
Speaker 9: I do now for living, I'm a behavior therapist, so
Speaker 9: I'm learning.
Speaker 3: Like you would say. So when I heard you say
Speaker 3: that your your granddaughter said.
Speaker 10: Wait, yeah, yeah, like back in the day, would yeah,
Speaker 10: and she would have been flying for as a behavioral therapist,
Speaker 10: I would this is what they have done.
Speaker 3: My training is teaching me. Let's try that again. Let's try.
Speaker 3: You still teach a child manners.
Speaker 9: When other people hear me do the Aba method with children,
Speaker 9: they like, you're teaching her to matters.
Speaker 3: That's not a ba you, No, it's not. It's he
Speaker 3: you say you're welcome. They don't teach you in Aba.
Speaker 3: I'm teaching you how to be a human society. I'm
Speaker 3: teaching you a life's heal. You said you're welcome.
Speaker 9: When the teacher hands you something, say thanks, say you're welcome,
Speaker 9: you know, or say thank you you know. And that's
Speaker 9: what I get to teach my kids.
Speaker 3: I teach them a little bit more. And that's from
Speaker 3: my upgrading and and things that I learn her. So
Speaker 3: thank you to women. And this is just a little bit. Look,
Speaker 3: I might have to write another book after my daughter
Speaker 3: come home.
Speaker 5: Okay, So I wanted to know how old will your
Speaker 5: granddaughter be when your daughter comes home?
Speaker 3: So yes, so she will be going on six. So okay,
Speaker 3: by the time my daughter comes home.
Speaker 5: That's why I was saying, like she's already like when
Speaker 5: she comes home, she'll already be in school for real,
Speaker 5: and so like she's missed all of the formative years.
Speaker 3: She's missed all of the fundamentals.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and so that's why I'm like, honestly, I send
Speaker 5: this to somebody else, and I laugh when I think
Speaker 5: about it, and I laugh when I.
Speaker 3: Say it because I'm sorry, and it's gonna sound bad,
Speaker 3: and I know it does. It sounds bad.
Speaker 5: But I would love for my daughter to come home
Speaker 5: and be the navy, like like, I just need her
Speaker 5: to come home and do all the things that I
Speaker 5: can't do, you know what I mean, Like I want
Speaker 5: her to be the transportation. I want her to take
Speaker 5: her to gymnas. I don't even need it a paperwork,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. I just want I want
Speaker 5: her to be that person like of course she's mom,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, but as we are rebuilding
Speaker 5: that relationship, I need her to be that person that
Speaker 5: does all of the things, no questions answer, Like whatever
Speaker 5: Eva has going on, whatever activity she has going on,
Speaker 5: taking up to school, everything, I need her to be
Speaker 5: that person.
Speaker 3: That's that's what I That's what I need. That's that's
Speaker 3: what I need. I need that before she hit these
Speaker 3: because it's like I don't.
Speaker 9: I don't.
Speaker 3: And that's why I said I'm still figuring it out, y'all.
Speaker 3: I am, because this. This is it's hard.
Speaker 5: It's hard to it's hard to change the dynamics. Oh
Speaker 5: we felt, yes, well it's gonna come back, all right, Yeah,
Speaker 5: but it's hard to change the dynamic when you've been
Speaker 5: doing this for like six years, you know. And so
Speaker 5: I would want her to come back, And obviously I
Speaker 5: want them to bond and forde their relationship and do
Speaker 5: all the things.
Speaker 9: I just.
Speaker 3: Piggybacking off what you just said. I'm prayful and hopeful
Speaker 3: that when my son, light bulb comes on, because daughters
Speaker 3: are so different with their dad.
Speaker 2: Even though my grandson is proven he don't hit the
Speaker 2: way that he feels and the way he looks at
Speaker 2: his father, but his.
Speaker 3: Daughter, you know, it's totally different.
Speaker 2: So when that lightbulb kick on, and only thing matters
Speaker 2: is them that love for her dad, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: it's it's gonna be bananas. And I hope that he
Speaker 2: is able to feed and feester that relationship with her.
Speaker 3: Does he come around also or right now?
Speaker 2: He is getting help right now, But when he is here,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't, you don't know, but it's a.
Speaker 3: Hidden miss when you're when you're a antic as.
Speaker 5: A parent, who do I mean, I don't know your son,
Speaker 5: but I live but I live with but I got
Speaker 5: addicted parents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, when you know, yeah, you know the hit miss.
Speaker 2: It's a hidden miss. But kids still long for that relationship.
Speaker 2: I don't care if they didn't see their parent on
Speaker 2: the street.
Speaker 3: They still long for that that relationship for the parent.
Speaker 3: But when you are a.
Speaker 2: Full on parent and you are a father to a daughter,
Speaker 2: the relationship is just like that. The daughter is so
Speaker 2: in love with the dad. Because I was in love
Speaker 2: with my father, I was like, my mother couldn't tell
Speaker 2: me nothing about that.
Speaker 4: Man, even.
Speaker 3: Every weekend, like what are you coming? And my mother
Speaker 3: she couldn't tell me nothing about that about the man.
Speaker 2: And too, I became an adult and understood, like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is what she was talking about, this is what.
Speaker 3: She's talking about. So if I didn't talk to you
Speaker 3: for ten years, I didn't, I didn't care, but I
Speaker 3: knew when I did talk to him, that was my daddy.
Speaker 3: That was my father, and at the.
Speaker 2: End of his life, because he's he passed on the
Speaker 2: day I found out my DNA was ninety nine point
Speaker 2: nine nine.
Speaker 5: My father.
Speaker 3: Before look, I know, day on September thirteenth, my father
Speaker 3: transition this year. I'm on that day my DNA results
Speaker 3: came in from.
Speaker 2: The biological about that that man was my father ninety
Speaker 2: nine point nine?
Speaker 3: Wait, how what?
Speaker 9: What major do this.
Speaker 4: Believe?
Speaker 2: Because if they called me and I thought it was
Speaker 2: a telemarker, my husband can attested this.
Speaker 3: I'm talking to the baby she's now my niece, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, are you sure this?
Speaker 2: She didn't know how to say much. My name is
Speaker 2: a Prollo and she was trying to say it. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I thought it was a telling tomorrow. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is she's speaking.
Speaker 3: How can I help you? She said, well, my name
Speaker 3: is Casey and I think you might be my aunt
Speaker 3: meet me and then only child. I'm like, how can
Speaker 3: I be your aunt? I don't have no sublings, how
Speaker 3: can I be? What is this information come from? My
Speaker 3: mom is.
Speaker 2: Telling me that she been telling sorry, she's been telling me.
Speaker 2: She has a sister in California and my grandpa David.
Speaker 2: And when she said that name, I just started laughing
Speaker 2: and d or yohy.
Speaker 3: So my human like what are you doing laughing over
Speaker 3: there with the telemarketer? So I did a twenty three.
Speaker 2: Well, my husband did a twenty three and me on
Speaker 2: all of our kids, me and him and the kids,
Speaker 2: and my DNA results two years ago, right about two years.
Speaker 3: Ago, didn't come back as my name my father. I'm like, what,
Speaker 3: why is it coming up? This Hicks, This Hicks is Hick.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is this? I didn't know?
Speaker 2: So push forward ward two years I get this phone
Speaker 2: call and they'say, your mom was married to my grandpa.
Speaker 3: I'm like, how the man gets on up? They called
Speaker 3: the man, We FaceTime and everything. Yeah, I was married
Speaker 3: to your mom. You didn't know she was married?
Speaker 4: No, No, I did not know.
Speaker 2: My mom was married to this man for a year
Speaker 2: and a half. Well, I'm telling my mom business.
Speaker 3: She's not here. So this is the story. So my
Speaker 3: mom and my dad whenever I say my dad, I'm
Speaker 3: talking about my dad was together.
Speaker 2: She left my father and went to Arkansas, where she
Speaker 2: was born, and she started dating this this gentleman named David,
Speaker 2: and she married him.
Speaker 3: So she was finished with David. She's like, I'm done
Speaker 3: with you. I'm going back home. So she came back
Speaker 3: home to my dad, and my dad and her was together.
Speaker 3: She was in the hospital and I was born. My
Speaker 3: dad was there and everything so pushed forward.
Speaker 2: She my mom must have came back pregnant. Basically, yeah,
Speaker 2: she must have came back pregnant. And my dad was like, hey,
Speaker 2: this's mine and it don't.
Speaker 3: Even matter who is mine.
Speaker 2: So they called me on my father's birthday. All my
Speaker 2: dad's birthday, August nineteenth.
Speaker 3: It is my father's birthday.
Speaker 2: I got this walk home's birthday September thirteenth, my father transition,
Speaker 2: and I told her before I get too invested with
Speaker 2: all this information y'all giving me, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Need to get the DNA tests.
Speaker 4: What can we do it?
Speaker 3: So the sister, one of my other sisters found the
Speaker 3: DNA place. Mind you, my sister worked for the government.
Speaker 3: Decide they found me. She worked for the government and.
Speaker 2: She was too afraid to call, so she gave the baby,
Speaker 2: which is sixteen the numbers that you call WO So.
Speaker 3: They called and the information that they gave that she
Speaker 3: got was proven. She works for the government.
Speaker 2: So she knew the bookstore, she knew my husband, she
Speaker 2: knew everything. Wow, she knew everything. So the DNA said, look,
Speaker 2: look can I get the DNA. So she found the
Speaker 2: place we all swabbed. I video everything.
Speaker 3: We swabbed.
Speaker 2: I swabbed me, they swabbed the dad, and they swabbed
Speaker 2: the sisters, and everybody was like, oh, we can't wait,
Speaker 2: mind you. We did this on a Thursday.
Speaker 3: We had to wait Friday, the weekend they don't work,
Speaker 3: and Monday, so we had to wait. Holler. So I'm
Speaker 3: at thirteenth look on your email. My phone was blowing up.
Speaker 3: Should check my email check up and it said ninety
Speaker 3: nine for nine nine percent. This man to my father. Wow,
Speaker 3: I still don't believe it, though I call the people,
Speaker 3: Is this right? Mind you?
Speaker 2: I'm a nurse by tray. I knew it was right,
Speaker 2: but I just wasn't. I'm like, this is unbelievable.
Speaker 3: But I told I told my my sister friend to
Speaker 3: sit here. So I'm so grateful that my dad has passed.
Speaker 3: But I was grateful, Yeah, but I'm grateful that he had.
Speaker 2: He transitioned knowing that I knew that he was my father.
Speaker 2: He didn't have to answer to any of the questions
Speaker 2: that I have. So I'm so grateful for for that.
Speaker 2: We've only gone to Texas and seeing these people, and
Speaker 2: I was fighting with myself.
Speaker 3: Like am I betraying my mother by doing this, I
Speaker 3: was fighting. I'm like, if she didn't want me to know,
Speaker 3: she mustn't want me to know. Fifty years later and
Speaker 3: my mother has a twin sister, and she kept it
Speaker 3: and I needed I need a friend like her. I
Speaker 3: need a sister like her, because it wasn't her job
Speaker 3: to tell me anything. My mother told you, don't say anything.
Speaker 3: If she tell you, don't say anything. That's what she meant.
Speaker 3: Take it to your grave. Don't say anything. Let it
Speaker 3: come out when it needs to come out.
Speaker 2: When I finally told my aunt about the dnabris else,
Speaker 2: she said, thank you, I'm released.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, thank you, I'm released.
Speaker 7: So I'm grateful for my aunt, my mom, twin sister,
Speaker 7: sister the way in No, she passed on five years ago,
Speaker 7: so that's why I said, she's not here all too
Speaker 7: except by deny information.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am the oldest. You've been the oldest and
Speaker 3: grew up the only child that is crazy, the only child.
Speaker 3: I was getting saying. That's a whole other story within
Speaker 3: itself going into that. But I actruly enjoyed our conversations.
Speaker 2: This for me.
Speaker 3: Make sure you pick it up.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 1: Good night, guys, Thanks for listening to Malik's Bookshelf with
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