Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me With yours. Truly, I was thinking,
Speaker 1: it's been a minute since we've done a Jenny's Journal,
Speaker 1: so I feel like I want to share with you
Speaker 1: something relatively big that happened in my life. And I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just feel like sharing with you. So
Speaker 1: here's a little something from Jenny's Journals. June sixth, twenty five.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, today was it? Fiona, my baby bird?
Speaker 1: She graduated high school? And Yeah, I'm out here on
Speaker 1: the porch writing this, enjoying the night air, sitting down
Speaker 1: for the first time today, and it's just hitting me
Speaker 1: all over again. Sitting there this morning on the metal
Speaker 1: bench in the hot sun with her sisters and Dave,
Speaker 1: her uncle Peter, and Lily. I can honestly say we
Speaker 1: were one big, very happy family in that moment. It
Speaker 1: wasn't lost on me that all the hard work our
Speaker 1: family has done to stay united had culminated into this
Speaker 1: highly anticipated and pivotal moment in all of our lives.
Speaker 1: Watching her walk across that stage, and yes, being that
Speaker 1: family that yells out and pops off confetti Cannons, basically
Speaker 1: making a spectacle of themselves to show her how proud
Speaker 1: we are of her. In that moment she walked up
Speaker 1: to receive her Diplumber, her hand stretch out to shake
Speaker 1: the Dean's hand, it felt somehow like my entire mom
Speaker 1: life just slash before my eyes, and I could feel
Speaker 1: this sort of triumphant moment of not just our family
Speaker 1: but her. All the crazy ups and the gut wrenching
Speaker 1: downs that are high school, but mostly just this totally
Speaker 1: overwhelming feeling of awe for her and joy for me,
Speaker 1: such relief she made it. Her experience wasn't a cakewalk. Yes,
Speaker 1: we are privileged. Did she ask for it? No? But
Speaker 1: however you want to look at it, she was lucky
Speaker 1: to be born into the situation she was. Others have
Speaker 1: had much harder times, for sure, and her experience is hers,
Speaker 1: So I will let her speak about it. I'll just
Speaker 1: say for me as a mom, her high school years
Speaker 1: have been really hard to watch, really hard on me.
Speaker 1: And it's been almost even harder to not jump in
Speaker 1: and fix it, fix it all. It's so so hard
Speaker 1: to watch your kid hurt. She literally had to fight
Speaker 1: against the dumbest stereotype ever, being called dumb just because
Speaker 1: she looks a certain way, mean kids labeled her too emotional.
Speaker 1: That one really got to me. I've had it said
Speaker 1: about me and it's just a straight up attempt to
Speaker 1: belittle a person. But Fiona feels things beautifully and deeply,
Speaker 1: and I think that's actually one of her greatest strengths.
Speaker 1: She was trying to figure it all out, but there
Speaker 1: were so many texts over the four years from her
Speaker 1: needing support or wanting to be anywhere but there, Please
Speaker 1: email the attendants I need to leave, you know those
Speaker 1: kind of texts. Do I think she was bullied? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I do. Some kids think it's fun to hurt other people.
Speaker 1: I don't understand it, but I do recognize it. You
Speaker 1: just want to scoop up your kid and literally shield
Speaker 1: them from every single crappy word. And it wasn't just
Speaker 1: the mean kid stuff. It was the quiet stuff too.
Speaker 1: Some teachers were just total angels. She would tell me
Speaker 1: stories from classroom discussion she had had with some of them,
Speaker 1: and she just would light up whenever she talked about
Speaker 1: some they actually saw her, you know, saw past her
Speaker 1: appearance and the teen drama to the genuinely curious, caring
Speaker 1: and intelligent girl she is. They nurtured her spirit, but
Speaker 1: then there were others who just didn't. They just completely
Speaker 1: missed her. And when someone in authority just doesn't see
Speaker 1: your kid, that can be just as damaging as any
Speaker 1: mean girl or bully. They can make them feel invisible
Speaker 1: or maybe unworthy, and that's a tough, tough feeling for
Speaker 1: any kid to carry around. There was also a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1: I'll let her share that if she wants to, but
Speaker 1: it affected basically all four years of her experience. My
Speaker 1: heart literally ached watching her go through it, trying to
Speaker 1: figure out those insane feelings, the confusion, the constant ups
Speaker 1: and downs. There were so many times and I just
Speaker 1: won't to jump in and yell at her or give
Speaker 1: him a piece of my mind. Sorry, that kind of
Speaker 1: sounds like my grandma. But to see her finally break
Speaker 1: free and start putting herself back together after all that, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was like watching the most glorious sunrise ever with
Speaker 1: such a relief, and it reinforced to me just how
Speaker 1: incredibly strong she is. I guess beyond being just a
Speaker 1: proud mom, I have learned along the way too. All
Speaker 1: this reminded me how important it is to really listen
Speaker 1: to my kids. It made me wonder have I done
Speaker 1: a good enough job. Sometimes the stuff they're not saying
Speaker 1: is way more important than what they are. The complaints
Speaker 1: about school, the out of nowhere mood changes, the wanting
Speaker 1: to be alone, those are usually signals or something deeper
Speaker 1: going on, And I get it. All the absolute bullshit
Speaker 1: the kids have to deal with today and grow up
Speaker 1: subjected to, don't even get me started. I've tried to
Speaker 1: create a space where each of the girls know they
Speaker 1: can actually tell me anything. But I know there have
Speaker 1: been times when my workload has deprived one or another
Speaker 1: of much needed mom time or wifetime for that matter.
Speaker 1: But that's a different entry for another day. So many
Speaker 1: times I've wished I could wave a magic wand and
Speaker 1: make everything better for everyone, But you have to teach
Speaker 1: them to stand up for themselves. There were definitely times
Speaker 1: when I wanted to storm the school and raise hell,
Speaker 1: but I knew I had to find that balance with Fiona.
Speaker 1: Both Peter and Dave were always my reminders to take
Speaker 1: a deep breath and calm down, think things through. I
Speaker 1: believe things always work out, and it was quite possible.
Speaker 1: I did actually need two dads to get me through
Speaker 1: this with my feet on the ground. I was a
Speaker 1: full time life coach and therapist and cheerleader, all wrapped
Speaker 1: up in a mom costume. I tried to do my best.
Speaker 1: I'd encourage Fiona to talk to her teachers, to speak
Speaker 1: her mind, to take charge of things and claim her power.
Speaker 1: When it came to the boy, we talk about boundaries.
Speaker 1: We talked about what she deserved and how important it
Speaker 1: was to put herself first, to choose herself. I think
Speaker 1: teaching our kids to find their own voice is one
Speaker 1: of the best things we can do for them. And
Speaker 1: as excruciating as it was to watch her go through
Speaker 1: all that those experiences, the dumb labels, the emotional roller coaster,
Speaker 1: they didn't break her, not at all. They actually built
Speaker 1: something incredible inside her. She learned how strong she is,
Speaker 1: She learned to trust her gut, and she learned what
Speaker 1: she will and absolutely will not put up with in
Speaker 1: relationships moving forward. Those aren't easy lessons, but boy, old boy,
Speaker 1: are they important ones. I honestly envy that she received
Speaker 1: these big life lessons this young, because I didn't, and
Speaker 1: I know there will be so many more, but let's
Speaker 1: just get through this big event today. Please. It's just
Speaker 1: part of her story now, it's not her whole story.
Speaker 1: But she did it. She pushed through, she learned, she
Speaker 1: grew into this amazing young woman. Like I've always told
Speaker 1: all the girls since we saw The Help back in
Speaker 1: twenty eleven, you is smart, You is kind, and you
Speaker 1: is important. She learned to be resilient no matter what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's got some scars, sure, but she's also got the
Speaker 1: wisdom and the strength that came from going through tough times.
Speaker 1: We had a sweet family party for her. Lola, Dave
Speaker 1: and I did the prep. Luca made a fun game
Speaker 1: to celebrate her. She called it Fiona Jeopardy Soupani. My
Speaker 1: friend treated us all to such inspiring Thai food. I
Speaker 1: can't even tell you how good it was. Peter made
Speaker 1: it through the years movie of her, and there were
Speaker 1: flowers and family and dear friends. We laughed, we cried.
Speaker 1: My baby bird is officially ready to fly, and I'm
Speaker 1: just here watching her take off. My heart is so
Speaker 1: full of gratitude it could burst. And not only am
Speaker 1: I proud of her, but I'm proud of me too,
Speaker 1: this last one has been the most challenging. But hey,
Speaker 1: let's go out with a bang, right, Mom. That's all
Speaker 1: I had to say about that. But I'm curious. Did
Speaker 1: you have a kid that graduated, You have a kid
Speaker 1: that had a tough time in high school? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Are you like me? Are you out there trying to
Speaker 1: hold everything up for everybody all the time and you're
Speaker 1: just making it up as you go. Being a mom
Speaker 1: is the hardest, most rewarding job you will ever have,
Speaker 1: and I see you. As far as I'm concerned, all
Speaker 1: moms are superheroes. I mean, that's how I look at
Speaker 1: my mom now, which is much different than how I
Speaker 1: used to look at her. But I just want you
Speaker 1: to know that it's okay to take a moment, to choose,
Speaker 1: to allow yourself to take a deep breath and just
Speaker 1: revel in this moment of accomplishment, not just for your kid,
Speaker 1: but for you. You did it too, You graduated from
Speaker 1: high school all over again, and I'm so proud of us.