WEBVTT - Understanding the Term Latinx 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:07.400 I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:09.840 and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:14.840 I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Caroline Bermudez, but I 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:18.560 was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:22.560 and a worker being. This is life English. You know, 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:27.479 we are always combing the news social media. This is 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:29.600 something that's a part of our job that we just 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:32.120 can't avoid. And I came across an article this is 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.040 now a couple of weeks ago that I really wanted 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.400 to bring up because I feel like is it a 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:40.440 sensitive subject? This is my question to you, honey, And 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:44.080 I want to bring this question to our podcast because 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.639 I feel like it's something that isn't being discussed at 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:48.800 length because I feel like people are too afraid to 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.160 touch it. We're so pc now, we are so worried 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:55.920 about offending people that we are not speaking our truth. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:57.840 So let me just give you the background. You know 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:00.280 Richie Torres, right, yeah, I love him. If you're not 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:03.600 from New York, um, Richie Torres, he represents the South 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.880 Bronx and uh. He was recently quoted as saying that 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:12.679 he never heard anyone locally using the term latin X. 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:17.240 Do the majority of Hispanics actually use the term latin x. 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:21.440 So this tweet stood out to me because I'm gonna 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.440 be fully transparent and forth right and let you all 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:30.280 know I never understood latin X. I know it's been 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:35.000 in use for the past what five six years, but 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:38.920 but more so in recent years, and I've always been 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.480 confused by it. But I never wanted to not look 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:45.280 woke per se. You know, I know it's crazy, right, 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:49.080 you know. I was recording something earlier this week and 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:51.800 somebody was there and they were like born raised in 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:56.040 New York, Dominican, and they were interviewing me, and they asked, 0:01:57.040 --> 0:02:00.840 how do you feel being Latins Latins? Thinks like they 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.680 just couldn't even say the word Latins, like it was 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.480 like a Hispanic person. And that goes to show you 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:11.760 how highly unpopular the word is among Hispanics and Latinos. So, like, 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.880 you know, there's tons of studies on this word. It's 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:17.920 just not popular. It's and they actually view it as 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:22.280 exclusionary to everyday people. Yeah, it's very I always felt 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:25.160 like it was a great idea to make it gender 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:28.880 neutral so that the LGBTQ community didn't feel like they 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:34.160 had to identify with being a Latina feminina or Latino masculino. 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:36.200 But I felt like that's where it should have ended 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:39.040 me myself. I don't use the term. I still refer 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.120 to myself as a Latina and nobody in my life 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.840 uses the term. And I have like forty five cousins. 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:48.200 I've never heard anyone say I'm a latin X never yet. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:51.760 It's trendy. Yeah, it's something that you know, companies love 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:53.960 to use, but it's it's weird because I feel like 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:57.560 media companies and even advocacy groups they've started to shy 0:02:57.600 --> 0:02:59.639 away from it and are no longer even using it. 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:02.720 It's eating a weight. It was a great idea, but 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.560 Latinos didn't embrace it the way I guess people thought 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.280 they would. You took the words out of my mouth. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.919 I think that when a community embraces something and they 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:12.360 really start to adopt it and they start to use it, 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.680 and I don't believe that we as a community have 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.440 agreed with that label per se. You know. So so 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.960 for example, something that you just said, um really hit me. 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:27.280 We have always been taught to either add the masculine 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:32.480 or the feminine Latino Latino Latinos in general. Okay, I 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:35.600 would never ever want to make somebody else feel badly, 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:40.240 so I can understand the intentions of latin X. But 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:47.680 I think that it's been highlighted more by companies, by organizations, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:52.840 by people who are not Latinos honest, because I am 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:55.440 not not one of my family members, not my mother, 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.560 my father, my cousins, my brothers, sisters, none of us 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.960 have ever used that, not even the next generation, which 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.520 are my nieces, my nephews, you know, my kids. It's 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:08.920 not something that is in practice with us. But then again, 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.000 there's that other side of me that feels like, well, 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:15.440 wait a minute. If there is a small population of 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.400 our people or our community that feels comfortable with that, 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.560 who are we to say that it's not I don't know. 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.760 I feel like it's just so hard to change something 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:28.480 that big and something that is our language. How are 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:32.080 we going to change being a Latina to an English word? 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:34.240 I'm a latin XT. Like you know what I'm saying. 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.760 It's just like you're taking You're giving us something but 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:39.719 then taking something away in the same breath. You're taking 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.479 away our language. If you if you see it that way, 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.400 I feel like this is a personal choice. I feel like, 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:46.920 if if you want to use it in a way 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:52.120 that's non gendered, non binary, and very inclusive, go for it. 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:55.240 But if I know what my gender is and I had, 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:57.599 and I've identified as a Latina since the moment I 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.720 was born, I don't have to change my label just 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:04.560 because a media company says this is the new term 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:06.919 that we're going to use. I saw an ad the 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:08.560 other day, and I'm not going to name the company 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.200 because obviously I don't think that there was any malintent 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:13.480 with it, and that's the reason why I won't name 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:15.240 the company. I think that they thought that they were 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:19.600 being very forward thinking by using latin X in this 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.800 certain promotion, and it was actually on Telemundo, which is 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:29.520 obviously a Spanish language station, and I was very surprised 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:33.120 by it because I thought, Okay, here's this big company 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:35.960 trying to get in and I feel like that's what 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.479 it is. They're trying to get in on on something 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.280 where I feel like their message could have resonated a 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.440 whole lot more if they were just authentic with it. 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:45.560 I think that they were trying to be trendy, you know, 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.880 by using Latin X and trying to trying to showcase 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:53.479 like a certain demographic. And I'm not sure that everybody 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:56.920 has really adopted it or everybody feels comfortable using it, 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.800 like much like you said, I feel more comfortable calling 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.400 my off of Latina because that's who I am. But 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.520 who am I to take that away from somebody else. 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.080 NBC did a study and the word is preferred by 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:10.479 like only two percent of the Latino community. It's not 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.359 something that people love and use all the time. But 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:17.960 media companies are using it to appear progressive, I guess, 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:20.760 to appear woke and very in tune with what's happening 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:23.400 right now. They also cater a lot to Gen Z 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.840 millennials and you know that younger generation that's coming up 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.480 that they probably equate with one day just using that 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.159 term altogether. So I guess they're trying to be progressive 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.919 and they're trying to think ahead. Meanwhile, forgetting everybody who's 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.400 used latino and latino their entire life, Well, now, how 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:42.200 do you have a question for you? Because you are 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:45.120 more in tune with a lot of the Latin artists, 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.080 like I know you listen to Bad Bunny, which, by 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.760 the way, I listened to the album It's fantastic um. 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:52.240 But Bad Bunny does use the term a lot. So 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.360 do you think that that really might be it? Because 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.839 he is somebody who speaks to gen Z and millennials 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.240 and things like that. I would love to hear your 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:05.000 perspective on that. But Bad Bunny he's very LGBTQ friendly. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.120 He has spoken out about, you know, crimes against the 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.720 trance community. He's also a gender bender himself, you know, 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.760 Bad Bunny has no problem with portraying himself as a 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:19.200 woman in his videos. He's super dope, you know. So 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.920 I can see why he would use the term because 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:25.760 he's trying to push you know, progressiveness into maybe, let's say, 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.840 people in Puerto Rico, maybe people in the Dominican Republic 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.560 who are not, as I guess, woke and accepting of 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:35.880 different lifestyles. So I think he's just like, I'm going 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:38.280 to take the label off of myself. I'm not a lot, 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:40.520 you know, I'm a Latin X. And then you know what, 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.679 maybe things will start to change in countries where people 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:47.600 are still being killed because of how they choose to identify. 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.920 What he's doing is amazing. I love him. He's spearheading 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.480 the movement and he's just putting it out there. You 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.360 know what, It's not about your gender, it's not about 0:07:56.600 --> 0:08:00.480 male or female. It's about how you identify. And I 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:02.400 can definitely see him being one of those artists that 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:09.640 would prefer to use that term. I do applaud bad 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.080 Money for the things that he's doing to bring the 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.320 awareness for you know, the l g B t Q 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.360 I a community, but also I just think as a whole, 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:22.040 the black and brown communities have a lot of work 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:26.840 to do when it comes to understanding and accepting what 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:31.600 this means to their families and their communities. For example, 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:34.000 the other day, and just to kind of segue into 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:38.040 this whole conversation, my sons were listening to a song. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.440 We were driving in the car and there's a song 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:42.520 called Boyfriend. I don't know if you've ever heard it 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:45.199 by Dove Cameron, and she says that she can do 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.400 better than her boyfriend. And my kids were very confused 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.520 by that. They said, well, wait a minute, how can 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:53.079 she be a better boyfriend than him if she's a girl. 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.600 And I said, well, honey, I said, you know, there 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:59.160 are different types of relationships, and so I was explaining 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.720 to them how women can love women and men can 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:06.000 love men, and how this young woman who's singing in 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:08.079 the song, because this was brought up in the car, 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:12.720 is maybe explaining to this girl that she has different 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:16.080 feelings for her and maybe that she could take the 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:19.000 place of what her boyfriend isn't doing. So I'm explaining 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:22.240 this to my kids, and so my little guy Asher 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.960 looks at me and he says, Mommy, do you think 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.400 it was hard for little nos X? And I said, 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.800 what do you mean, honey, And he goes, well, because 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.880 little nos X is gay? And I said he is gay. 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:35.440 And I said, and you know what, Ash, I said, 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:38.160 that is a very good question because little nos X 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.280 has actually spoken out about how difficult it has been 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:45.599 for him to be a gay man in the music industry. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:47.920 This is my six and my eight year old, honey, 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:52.520 And the realization came to me. My parents never had 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:59.280 conversations like this with me about homosexuality, heterosexuality, I mean 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:04.160 anything that was not a thing that there was zero conversation. Yeah, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.880 And so for me, I looked at it as an 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:10.440 educational moment. It was challenging. I'll be honest, because I 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.199 feel like you have to put it through a filter 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.480 of what can a six and an eight year old 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:18.640 really understand? And so I said to him, I said, well, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.800 where did you hear about Little Nozas And he said, oh, 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:24.640 I remember at the awards we were watching the I 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.520 Heart Radio Music Awards together. When he was accepting his award, 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.520 he had mentioned that it was difficult for him, and 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:33.480 so I explained to him about how tough it's been 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.720 for Little Nozex in the indust Right now, that being said, 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:39.679 he said to me, he goes, Mommy, isn't weird for 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.920 a boy to like another boy? And I said, oh 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:45.600 my gosh, ash or No, I said, what I said, 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:50.440 what he feels for another boy feels natural to him. 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.840 I said, just like when you get older, you're going 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.760 to feel something that's natural to you. Whether it is 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:59.840 liking a boy or liking a girl, that is going 0:10:59.880 --> 0:11:03.040 to feel right for you. I said, So, if there 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.240 was anybody in our family who was gay, would you 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.079 still love them? And he said yes, and I said absolutely, 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.200 I said, and that's the reason why it's not weird. 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.200 I said, It's just something that may not feel natural 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.720 to you. But when I got out of that, car 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:17.959 I was like, oh my gosh, I hope I did 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:19.360 the right I don't know what I said. I like, 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.000 you know, you're just going through all of these things 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.280 in your head and you're trying to do the right 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.079 thing because this isn't the same world that we grew 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.040 up in. And you know what, Carolina, I thank you 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.400 so much for not passing along. You know, these toxic 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:37.160 traits that some of our parents had and which some 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.400 of our parents still have to this day. And you know, 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.600 being open enough with your kids and and being so 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.760 forward thinking and opening up their mind at such a 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:51.240 young age as to the differences between love and different people. 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.040 And it may not it may not be for you, 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.680 but it's for some for other people. Because you know 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:59.199 my family, we have instances of you know, people come 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.680 out as gay, and some people are not accepting older 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:04.800 people especially It's just like to them, it's just like, 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:07.800 but what happened, what went wrong? Nothing went wrong? Shut 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:09.920 your ass down. This is not for you. You already 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:12.520 lived your life. Don't worry about this, kid. And I'm 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:16.120 saying so you the fact that your mind is here, 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.920 that it gives me so much hope that the next 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:22.080 few generation of parents will no longer be the generation 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:25.840 of parents that I had that are hateful over someone's 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:29.920 sexual preference or who they love. Because that Carolina breaks 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:33.680 my heart. I find it absolutely disgusting and it's it's 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.000 just a sensitive topic for me and someone I love very, 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.000 very dearly. I decided to come out and it just 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:45.280 wasn't meant the best way by my family, especially my mom. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.000 And I'm like, first of all, this is not even 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.000 your child. I need you to take multiple seats. Lady. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.920 You already raised all your kids, you already had all 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.680 your marriages. This is not for you to give your opinion. 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:58.600 She would kill me or she would hurt me speaking 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.160 like this right now. But is a fact. And I 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.600 thank you man. You are that new mom that this 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.520 world needs. I'm trying, you know. The thing that I 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.040 always think of is that one day my child is 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.520 going to be in middle school and there's gonna be 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.880 a child who might be questioning themselves whether they want 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.560 to come out as gay or queer, or if they're trans. 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:23.760 These are realities of life. This is happening whether people 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.840 like it or not. And I would never want my 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:31.559 child to be the person to shun them, or ridicule them, 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:34.839 or make them feel terrible about being who they are. 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.920 I can't control my children's actions, but what I can 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.440 do is try to educate them now now at six 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.520 and a. And that's why I said, it's like I looked. 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:45.240 I I sat there in the car, and I'm thinking 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:49.360 of myself. My kid is six. He heard one thing 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.679 on an award show and that's stuck with him so 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.360 that when Little nos X came on, he asked me, Mommy, 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:59.280 was it hard for That means that they are comprehending 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.160 and understanding so much more than we give them credit for. 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.600 And that's where I think that we need to step 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:07.679 up as parents to make that change, you know, at 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:09.400 the end of the day, you know, circling back to 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.840 the Latin X term, I feel like it's a personal choice. 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.360 If you feel like that's what you identify as, by 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.720 all means, go for it. You know. I don't see 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.480 it as a negative thing. I don't see it as 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.960 something that should be adopted by everyone. I just think 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:27.440 it's just like whatever label you choose to select for yourself, 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.280 let that be it. You know. I don't think it's 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.240 a negative thing. I think it is that we have 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.840 not practiced using it enough. I think that it's a 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.760 foreign thing for us, because we've been conditioned to say Latino, 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.720 Latino for basically our whole lives, you know. And don't 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.320 get me started on this. Because we were doing a 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:51.320 evaluation for my son the other day and they pulled 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:56.680 up his paperwork and on the paperwork, they had him 0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:01.680 listed as non Latino. And so I called the school 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.840 and this is interesting. So I called the school and 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:07.440 I said, you know, hi, I'd like to speak to, 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.520 you know, the supervisor who was running the meeting and everything. 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.880 And they said, oh, we can take a note for 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:14.960 her because she isn't here. And I said, I just 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:19.160 need to adjust something on my child's paperwork. And they said, oh, 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.600 what is the problem. Is this name misspelled? Is at this? 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.400 And I said no, I noticed that he's listed as 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.560 non Latino and that is not true. And the woman 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:30.000 kind of giggled and she was like oh, And I said, 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.000 I go, that's very important to me. I said, and 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:37.800 I need somebody to change that because I am Latino. 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:42.960 My child is fifty Latino, period, and a story it 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:46.480 needs to be documented. So I think that it's very 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.240 interesting that we're having this conversation right now because in 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:53.120 the future, will my child say I'm latin X, Well, 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.120 he says, you know what I mean. So that's where 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.800 I feel like we are really opening this conversation for 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.440 people to maybe examine how are they gonna use it 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:07.440 moving forward or how are we going to identify moving forward? 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.160 And there are plenty of people who will tell me 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.160 that my kids are white passing. Yes they are, and 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:17.280 they are white boys with blue eyes and blonde hair 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:25.240 are and they are Latinos through and through. You can't 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.560 take that away from them, Like I have tons of 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:30.560 cousins that are white passing. These girls open their mouth, girl, 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.080 and it's the most Dominican ship you'll ever hear in 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:37.360 your life. You can't take you, you know, with the 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.040 latin X term. One last thing I'll say is I 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.479 am all for, you know, moving away from the masculine 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:47.200 term Latino to generalize us all because obviously we're not 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:50.240 all men, were not all masculine, So it's just like, 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.640 use whatever term is good for you. But if it was, 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:58.720 I guess too, and the term being a masculine term, 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:00.880 I guess I can see me all for it. I 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:06.840 can see that. Yeah, well let's move it to the 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:10.119 salon because we got a submission. And I want to 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.480 bring this up to you because I would love see. 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.879 The thing is, Honey and I are so different, and 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:18.280 that's what I love about this podcast. Because Honey is raw, 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.439 she is unedited. I always have to take the space 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:24.480 of like, well, I'm a mom and I would do 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.400 the nice thing, and that's really genuinely who I am, though, 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.480 you know what I mean. So we we both kind 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.520 of go back to our roots when it comes to 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:35.040 things like this. This is great. So our listener, Teresa, 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.119 I'm gonna paraphrase is basically she wrote us an email 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.480 saying that she listens and loves the podcast. Teresa, thank 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.359 you so so much. I love that you're listening, And 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:45.679 she said, I am not even a Latina, but I 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:47.600 love listening to you guys. You remind me a lot 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:49.600 of me and my cousins. We are Italian and we 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:53.160 totally identify with the topics that you guys talk about. Now, 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.320 I want to ask you guys a question. I hate 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.600 my friend's new friend. I don't want her hanging out 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.960 with us. How do I tell her it's definitely caused 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.840 a space in our relationship. I don't want to lose 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.080 my friend, but I really don't want to hang out 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:13.120 with this new check. Okay, Teresa, here we go. I'm 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:15.320 gonna unleash Honey on you right now because I know 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:17.400 that Honey has got a lot to say, So go ahead. 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:20.400 How do you deal with it when your friend has 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.000 a new person in their life that you don't really 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.840 approve of. First of all, you don't have the right 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:28.040 to bring new people into my life. Oh, I'm gonna 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:30.720 go straight off the rip with it. Yeah, you met 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:32.800 your home girl at work, you love her, you love 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:36.000 weird ship. I don't got to accept that I didn't 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.639 choose this friend. I chose you a bit. That's like 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.360 when you invite somebody somewhere and they bring somebody who 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.320 the hell said you can bring a plus one? So 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:47.639 over there. If that's your home girl and y'all vibe 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:51.240 and y'all are jelling, that's cool. But you know what, Teresa, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:54.440 if you don't like this new person, it'sn't that mandatory 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:56.760 that this be your friend. Your home girl got a 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.320 new friend, y'all do your thing over there, but let 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:00.919 it be one of on me and you and are 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.000 other mutual friends that I'm obviously accepting of and I 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:06.280 have a good time with. You shouldn't be subjected to 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:08.800 hang out with nobody that you're not feeling. That's like 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:10.479 you going on a date with a man you never 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.840 even met. Talk about I met this guy and I'm 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:16.080 dating him. Girl, let's date him together? Bitch? Absolutely not. 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:20.840 That's not my type. I don't like him. You don't 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:22.600 want to pick him off a bumble? Why I gotta 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:27.600 date him too? Now? No? Immediately, No, immediately, No, especially 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:29.359 if you don't like her, if you hate her, But 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.399 how do you say it? Honey? But like, how do 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:33.760 you say it to her? That's my issue. It's like, 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:39.040 how do you even approach the conversation? Okay, Caroline, Okay, Okay, 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:43.679 Hi Carolina, ya can I talk to you? It's something 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:45.360 that you know, It's been on the back of my mind, 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:49.360 Like I know you got your new homegirl. Let's let's say, daisy, 0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:51.240 I see you a daisy. You have a good time. 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:54.240 But you know, it's weird because like, I don't know her. 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:56.840 I don't feel like me and her have anything in common. 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:01.000 I just feel I don't know her. And I and 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:03.320 I feel weird when we're hanging out. I feel like 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:06.720 I cannot trust her. And this is a major thing 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:10.080 for me, Carolina. I need to feel comfortable speaking to 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.879 you and telling you what I feel and what I 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:15.439 think without feeling like my conversation with you is going 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:18.760 to go elsewhere. Talk about Oh, I was hanging out 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:21.480 with Honey and Carolina, guess what Honey said, or guess 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:24.400 who Honey doesn't like, or guess what's happening in Honey's relationship. 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:28.199 I need to feel, Carolina, like our time together is 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:31.720 a safe space. I cannot be worried about somebody that 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:36.480 I don't vibe with being there consuming our conversations and 0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:39.480 taking them elsewhere. So if this is your new friend, 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:41.240 I really would rather have you guys, just you know, 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:43.840 so you see where this goes. Maybe in two years 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:45.480 when you're like, wow, this is my ride to die. 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:48.120 This bitch been through the trenches with me. I love her, 0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.760 I trust her. Then bring her to me. But not 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:53.560 a new home girl that you met off a bumble bff. 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:55.880 You know that's the thing, right, Carolina. Women meet each 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:59.359 other one girl, yes, bumble bff. Women that don't have 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:01.840 a lot of friends going bumble bff and me home girls? 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:03.919 Is this a real thing? Though? This is on bumble 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:06.800 the app. Yes, girl, the girl that invent the bumble 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:09.800 decided that women need to be meet home girls, and 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:12.840 they have a thing called bumble Bff. Imagine you're meeting 0:21:12.840 --> 0:21:15.280