1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: While we get doctor Guardier America's psychologists, and there's a 2 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: couple of things we want to talk to him about. 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: But as we get him adjusted up here, we absolutely 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: wanted to take questions from you guys. I think it's 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: a small enough room that you all can shout them out. 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: So by all means, can we get doctor as we 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: get him up here, anybody got a question, you all 8 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,159 Speaker 1: toss it out. 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 2: We need to talk. 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:34,879 Speaker 1: Oh, by goodness, yes, this happened in a in a 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: crowded public place. People were all around us at the time, loud, 12 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: pardon good time, and we were sitting there the only 13 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: and I may say, hey, so are we going to talk? 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: Why aren't you acknowledging what's happening? So do you just 15 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: want to keep going the way we're going, because if 16 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: you want to, we can and I will drop it 17 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: and we're done. If not, we need to have a 18 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: conversation about what's happening and a way forward because we 19 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,279 Speaker 1: are working together every day. We're together every day together 20 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,520 Speaker 1: all the time. So either we address it and drop it, 21 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: or address it and figure out what we're going to 22 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: do about How wasn't this aggressive when I did? 23 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 3: But but yeah, it was. It was a crowded room, 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 3: which actually was probably best because I said, can I 25 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 3: think about that? And then I think we talked about 26 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 3: it the next day, and then we kept talking about it. 27 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 3: But I was so shocked that he brought it up 28 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 3: that you, like, I think you maybe had a little 29 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 3: liquid courage, but I was not prepared for you to 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 3: call me out. And that was a moment when I thought, oh, wow, 31 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 3: we actually have to acknowledge this. 32 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: Anybody else, Gret, I'm curious, how are your colleagues that work? 33 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 3: So we went back to work for two days after 34 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 3: that tabloid that shall not be named release those photos 35 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 3: of as we pointed out, just discovering us in a 36 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 3: private relationship. They did not catch us cheating. That was 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 3: not what happened. They found us in our private relationship. 38 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 3: But when we came back for those two days, we 39 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 3: were surrounded with support. My dressing room was full of 40 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 3: all of our colleagues. 41 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: Some of it fake, some of it fake absolutely, some 42 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: of it was bs. 43 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 3: But once it was clear that we weren't coming back, 44 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 3: I never heard from most people again. 45 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we get that to a certain degree, right, 46 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: everybody's trying to hold onto their job. They don't want 47 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: to be seen as being an ally of the two 48 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: people that ABC News doesn't like, and we get it 49 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 1: to a certain degree. And for us, even we stayed 50 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: away from some of our former colleagues because we were 51 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: worried about them. I don't think you would mind us 52 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: saying this. We had lunch with Stray what last week 53 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: before last last week. You wouldn't believe the effort we 54 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: put into it with straight hand, just that Okay, you 55 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: arrive at this time and then we'll come in and 56 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: you can come in after. And we sat down with 57 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: him and we were being a politic dude wish sar 58 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 1: and he said, you idiots stop, just you have to 59 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: stop being that way and thinking that way that we 60 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: are trying to protect you straight hand from us. That 61 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 1: is the shame I'm talking about with. This is a 62 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: guy we've been very close to for ten years now, 63 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 1: and even we didn't want to get whatever our stank 64 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: is on him for some reason, and we struggled to 65 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: get out of that mindset. But friends like that do help, 66 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: and time helps. 67 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 3: I used to say, it's not like I murdered someone, 68 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 3: but I definitely felt like that's how it seemed if 69 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 3: you read comments anywhere from all of these articles. I 70 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 3: will say when we did walk down the street, which 71 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 3: we didn't often, we got a lot of people yelling support, 72 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 3: like we support you, we love you. Love is love, 73 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 3: Like I want to definitely say that we like. No 74 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 3: one came up and said anything horrible to our faces. 75 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 3: But it was just all the comments and all the 76 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: commentary and all the headlines. It just it weighs you 77 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 3: down to the point where you think I'm the worst 78 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 3: person in the world, and you do feel like you've 79 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 3: committed a crime. It's bizarre. But yes, I mean, I 80 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 3: co hosted twenty twenty. I dealt in death and destruction, 81 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 3: you know, and so yes, it was strange to me 82 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 3: to suddenly, you know, be this just hated horrible person 83 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 3: for loving someone. It was frustrating too, because the narrative 84 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 3: was not true, and so it was frustrating. 85 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: We lost the narrative off the top. Is the problem, Yeah, 86 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: is that once people were told what it was and 87 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: we didn't come out and make a statement, even though 88 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: we drafted statements that day that ABC News said, uh right, 89 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: we were encouraged to write these statements, and we had 90 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: statements to put out explaining much of the things we 91 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: said tonight. Once we lost that ability to speak and 92 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: to control the narrative, it was done. And in social 93 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: media age, nothing we could do. 94 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 3: Perception becomes reality. 95 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: And it's simple as that. I see hands going up now, doctor, 96 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: doctor Gourdia, come on and go ahead and have a seat. 97 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: You'll know, doctor, this is doctor Jeff Gardier here. He's 98 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: gonna help us. So I see a lot of hands 99 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: going up you all. 100 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 4: So, yeah, I wanted to ask you made the you 101 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 4: mentioned controlling the narrative. Did either of you ever consider 102 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 4: going to ABC. 103 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 3: Before the photos room? 104 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 5: Yes? 105 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 3: And okay, how did that go? 106 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: We decided not to. We were We've said this, I 107 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: think we've already said this publicly, but we were threatened. 108 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: We were directly threatened that if we didn't do what 109 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: was being demanded of us, that we were going to 110 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:59,559 Speaker 1: be outed. We were threatened, and two days after that threat, 111 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: photographers were seretitiously following us. So that is what happens now. 112 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 1: Even before I think even before that threat or certainly 113 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: after it, we said, you know what, let's just go 114 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 1: give ABC News the PR department. A guy, a friend 115 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: of ours, there who we were close to, just the 116 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: heads up to say, hey, we are going through divorce proceedings, 117 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: this is what happened, and we're dating now and leave 118 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: it at that. We we absolutely. 119 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 3: Had those We almost did. I mean in November, I 120 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 3: believe it was maybe the week before the pictures. We 121 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 3: had a long discussion back and forth about whether or 122 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 3: not we should just give them a heads up. And 123 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 3: what we decided was, let's just wait till after the 124 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 3: first of the year, so let's get through the holidays 125 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 3: and in January we will go and explain to them 126 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 3: what's happening. 127 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: Even we talked to an executive. I love this line, 128 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: he said, he said, So I'm not saying we saying this. 129 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:57,039 Speaker 1: He said, ABC News. They're idiots. All they have to 130 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: do is take you guys, now, move you to the 131 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: entertainment side and print money, is actually what he said. 132 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: But we lost a net. Look, we worked at a 133 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: this was a company. This is a network, a network 134 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: owned by a company Disney. That I mean, it's iconic, 135 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: right image is a cute little mouse Disney. And that 136 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: cute little mouse has been with the same girl mouse 137 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: for one hundred years. For divorces. That ain't work. 138 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 6: A follow up question to that piece about what two 139 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 6: to three years ago, when you all were in that happy, 140 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 6: healthy place in your careers and you're still very early 141 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 6: stage in both of your professional careers. I would imagine 142 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 6: that you have milestones, professional milestones, goals that were in 143 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 6: your line of sight, and knowing that there are only 144 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 6: such limited, high visibility platforms that exist in the world 145 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 6: that you are in, do you still believe that those 146 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 6: goals are achievable for you? 147 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 3: Are they still in cable or network news? 148 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: They've changed. Absolutely. We sit here now with the idea 149 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: of going back to network news and doing that. It 150 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: doesn't appeal to us in the least bit. Did I mention? 151 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: Those jobs almost killed us, literally almost killed us. So 152 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: we think we're doing great, but we talk about a 153 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: cost of us being together. We don't ever talk about 154 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: the cost of being in those gigs in the first place. Oh, 155 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: look at what you guys lost. You had these great Yeah, 156 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: I should have maybe given that gig up a long 157 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: time ago. 158 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 3: Agreed, I have zero desire to go back to network 159 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 3: news and the grind. And you know, we know how 160 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 3: the sausage is made, and it got more and more 161 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 3: frustrating to me the more I got to a higher 162 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 3: level and I saw it. Look media bias. It does 163 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 3: not exist with how we tell stories as much as 164 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 3: it is the story we don't tell. And I was 165 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 3: very frustrated and I had moments where I wanted to 166 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 3: leave before any of this happened, just frustration with the industry. 167 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 3: It is a business, so I wanted to be a journalist, 168 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 3: and sometimes those two don't don't work well together. So 169 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 3: as hard as it was to lose our jobs, I 170 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 3: mean like they were lucrative and they were fairly easy, 171 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 3: like we could do it in our sleep. It was 172 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,839 Speaker 3: we were we were printing money, but it wasn't challenging, 173 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 3: and it wasn't really what I wanted to do. So 174 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 3: we're hoping and we're hopeful that we can actually start 175 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 3: doing things we really want to do. So trying to 176 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 3: look at it as an opportunity now. And because we 177 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 3: never would have left those jobs, Like don't like we 178 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 3: would have never left, we would have stayed. And so 179 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 3: now we have to look at this as the street 180 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 3: we were supposed to be on, and we're gonna we're 181 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 3: gonna walk down it and see what happens. 182 00:09:53,120 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: And doctor guard. Dear, can I ask we love it. 183 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: I cannot say it enough how much we love his brother. 184 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:15,959 Speaker 1: But this love you love you Black when when you 185 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: can speak on us, sure, But for everybody else in 186 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: this room, the idea of that private shame causing you 187 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: to behave in ways that aren't really who you are. 188 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,679 Speaker 7: So we grow up with this fairy tale of your 189 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 7: life is really about pairing up with someone or you're 190 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 7: not successful. And so we achieve all these incredible things, 191 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,839 Speaker 7: but it's never enough until we feel that we're in 192 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 7: that romance or in that family or that pairing that 193 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 7: really is the cherry on top, and it comes in time. 194 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 7: But when we're in relationships, and I would think every 195 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 7: single one of us have been in relationships that haven't 196 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,119 Speaker 7: worked out. 197 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: And I don't say so much failure. 198 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 7: Because I'm a psychologist and I'm a positive thinker, but 199 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 7: when they don't work out, it's the shame that we're 200 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 7: not being successful at everything that we've learned, all the 201 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 7: pairing fantasies that we've learned as part of our culture 202 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 7: here in America, in the world, but especially in America. 203 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 7: So we live with a lot of that shame that 204 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 7: it's not working out, that there's nothing we can do 205 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 7: to really change that relationship, that we've failed at this thing, 206 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 7: and our friends will look at us in a different way, 207 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 7: and we have to get new friends and possibly new 208 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 7: family and so on. 209 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: So that shame is very real. 210 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 7: But I think in a lot of ways it plays 211 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 7: into a lot of the criticisms that you all experienced, 212 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 7: because one thing is we have to look at what 213 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 7: COVID it has done to the world, and what it's 214 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 7: done to America. We have unprecedented anxiety depression PTSD, and 215 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 7: so a lot of what I saw and I looked 216 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 7: at it, even though we've known each other for many, 217 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 7: many years, I looked at it psychologically, Why are they 218 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 7: attacking these two people who are just trying to live 219 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 7: their lives, who, according to many people, made these mistakes 220 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 7: and so on. And they went from this you know 221 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 7: this most loved you know TV pairing as co anchors 222 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 7: to you know, all these tabloid stories. And I think 223 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 7: a lot of it had to do with the fact 224 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 7: that we're all emotionally ill still from COVID, and we 225 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 7: were looking to project a lot of the anger and 226 00:12:54,440 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 7: the shame and a lot of the grieving that we 227 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 7: had as part of COVID, as part of what we're 228 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 7: going through coming through COVID. And I think you all 229 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 7: see this. And I'm not going to get into the politics, 230 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 7: but with the tribal politics, the hate that's out there, 231 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 7: the venom that's out there, it's not fashionable to say 232 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 7: I'm sorry. And you all have said I'm sorry, and 233 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 7: you all have said how you're grateful, which is an 234 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 7: amazing catharsist, this amazing walk that you're taking. And so 235 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 7: a lot of what we see is with this splitting 236 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 7: we're okay, you're bad, projection I'm okay, you're bad. I 237 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 7: think a lot of this played into what you were 238 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 7: going through. So we have to acknowledge and take responsibility 239 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 7: for our own shame instead of projecting it onto other people. 240 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 7: Number one and number two, we have to do the 241 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 7: hard work of realizing sometimes relationships don't work out, and 242 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 7: it's really important for us to learn as to what 243 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 7: it is that we can all do better instead of 244 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 7: pointing fingers at one person or just ourselves, but taking 245 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 7: the responsibility together of learning and going on to more 246 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 7: positive relationships. And I'll just end by saying, yes, I 247 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 7: hear you thinking, ABC News because you are on this 248 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 7: very very fascinating journey of pain and love and still 249 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 7: some shame. I think it still takes time to work 250 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 7: through that. But you're also helping so many other people 251 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 7: who experience life and experience that shame. 252 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: And so. 253 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 7: These two folks need a round of applause y'all for 254 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 7: the incredible work that they're doing. 255 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 3: Thank you, Jeff, Thank you doctor Guardier. I think we 256 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 3: have a question back here, Hi, Hi Amy, Hi TJ. 257 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 8: You know me, we did conversation together with black men 258 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 8: and you facilitated that. Yeah, And I find it really 259 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 8: interesting that this is kind of like reflecting in a 260 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 8: weird way, like the experience I had before getting on 261 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 8: set where I was like, oh, like I am like 262 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 8: this like queer person who's coming in talking about my 263 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 8: black maleness, and they're like, don't go this far, because like, 264 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 8: if you go this far, that's not what like Disney 265 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 8: wants to hear, That's not what ABC wants to hear. 266 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 8: But I again, I just want to thank you because 267 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 8: you allowed me to like push those things in a 268 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 8: space that probably wouldn't allow me to do. 269 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: So that is that is one of the greatest compliments, right, 270 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: I remember that, but that you took something away right 271 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: in that moment. I didn't know if I'd ever see 272 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: you again. That is the greatest compliment to hear that 273 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: in that moment I made you that kind of not 274 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: something I thought I wasn't trying to impress, but my 275 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: brother that that that that feels great to have you 276 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: stand up here and say that to me. 277 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 8: And I guess, like my question is, it's like it 278 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 8: seems like there's a lot of like same similarities between 279 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 8: like coming out and like shame and like depression and 280 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 8: suicide and like also like new familial like structures. And 281 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 8: I'm like here, I'm like here with like this like 282 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 8: white man, that's my date. 283 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, white man, Like does white man 284 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: have a name? And we're just gonna go with white 285 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: white man Leodo. 286 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 8: His name is Leto, all right. But I'm like, oh 287 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 8: my god, Like if my dad, if I told my 288 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 8: dad this when I was like sixteen, he'd be like, 289 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 8: you've done like ruined the whole family line. 290 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: You've married. You're like you're going to like marry a 291 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: white man. That's crazy. 292 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,439 Speaker 8: But it's like, what do you guys feel like you 293 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 8: guys have like some sort of like alignment to kind 294 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,199 Speaker 8: of like a queer experience. Have you been able to 295 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 8: talk to your like queer and LGBTQ like family or 296 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 8: friends about how there is kind of that. 297 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 3: That's cool, Well, I have my two queer friends right here, 298 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,920 Speaker 3: Joe and Preston right love that I called you out. 299 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 3: I'm sure, But you know, I think anytime you feel 300 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,360 Speaker 3: like you're an outlier or you're not like the others, 301 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 3: or other people can look at you and say you're bad, 302 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 3: you're wrong, I think there is a shared experience, for sure. 303 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 3: I don't. We haven't had that conversation, have we. I mean, 304 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 3: it's I'm not even getting any feedback from you, Joe 305 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:54,439 Speaker 3: at all. Okay, Preston saying no, but I do. I do. 306 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 3: We appreciate that I hadn't thought about it like that, 307 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 3: but I love to hear that there's a connection there, 308 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 3: because because anytime you feel like your relationship is viewed 309 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 3: to be morally wrong, there is a shared connection. So 310 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,680 Speaker 3: we appreciate that, and I hadn't thought of it that way. 311 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 3: But I'm happy that in some way maybe you feel 312 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 3: seen or heard or just like you're not alone, because 313 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 3: not all relationships are put on a pedestal and appreciated 314 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 3: or even welcomed. So and I really hadn't thought about that. 315 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: And again, we for a while thought we were the 316 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 1: only two people in America who ever experienced a divorce. 317 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: Like we felt that way, like we were maage to 318 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 1: feel like we were the only ones who had a 319 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: failed marriage and then started dating again. But we to 320 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 1: your point there, and again all this talked about everybody's 321 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: throwing barbs at you online on social media and whatnot. 322 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: You wouldn't believe the number of people that have come 323 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 1: up to us and said, who you think you guys? 324 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: You should hear my story, like who can relate to 325 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: life relationships, love, marriage, being complicated, being messy. It's not 326 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 1: a perfect package. But again, when you work where we worked, 327 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: you got to have the perfect package there. It has 328 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: to look perfect. We know it's not perfect, but oh, 329 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 1: I used to say this all the time. The network 330 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:26,719 Speaker 1: would never tell us they expect us to be perfect. 331 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: But you better make damn sure nobody ever finds out 332 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 1: just how imperfect you are. That got us. Yeah, and 333 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: doctor GARDI does that make I haven't thought about it 334 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: that way? Before does this, But does that make sense 335 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: the parallels that were just described. 336 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 7: Yeah, I think I think so. I mean, certainly feeling alone, 337 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 7: feeling like you may not you were fortunate and that 338 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 7: you had the support of family. But as we know, 339 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 7: many of our brothers and sisters, and you know, our 340 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 7: trans people in the LGBTQ I plus community feel very 341 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 7: much alone. That's why suicide is the third leading cause 342 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 7: of death in the LGBTQ community. And I was concerned. 343 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 7: I'm very concerned as to the lack of support that 344 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 7: we see to that community, to our community. But I'm 345 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 7: also and I was also concerned, and I said this 346 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 7: to the two of you on one of the podcasts. 347 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 7: I was concerned about the two of you in that, 348 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 7: you know, keeping that stiff upper lip and you know, 349 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 7: we're getting through this, and you know, we're going to 350 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 7: be strong, and we're gonna robot, We're. 351 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: Gonna do this. 352 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 7: And and I said, you guys are really hurting you guys, 353 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 7: you guys are in pain. You know, there's a lot 354 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 7: of embarrassment that you all felt and that was projected 355 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 7: onto you. And it was important that you talk about 356 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 7: the experience and dissect the experience and emote the experience together. 357 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 7: And so every time you have one of these talks, 358 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 7: I keep hearing an invisible psychologist, not necessarily this one. 359 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 7: I'm invisible at home, don't get me started, but an 360 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 7: invisible psychologist saying yes, yes, say more about that, be 361 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 7: able to support one another, talk about that pain. The 362 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 7: catharsis is so important, and it's not about solving a problem. 363 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 7: It's not about putting a bow on it or a 364 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 7: cherry on top, but it's about letting out that pain. 365 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 7: And that's what you do each and every time. And 366 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 7: this thing about being that perfect you know, TV couple, 367 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 7: you better be the perfect TV couple. I think you're 368 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 7: giving a new definition that you better be a real 369 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 7: person on TV because that's what we need, not what 370 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 7: we're seeing on social media where everyone pretends as right, 371 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 7: you know, to be that person, because it's not authentic. 372 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 7: It's about living authentic lives. And so this is something 373 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 7: that I think we all need to learn the importance 374 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 7: of being authentic because if you're not, that's what leads 375 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 7: to illness, leads to strokes, heart attacks, Depression, anxiety can 376 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 7: contribute and put one at risk for other illnesses, including cancer, 377 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 7: and so on, which we know may be genetic environmental also, 378 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,880 Speaker 7: but it's important that you're authentic in order to be healthy. 379 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 7: So continue to be authentic. 380 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 1: Thank you. This one thing I don't want people to. 381 00:22:55,640 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 7: Miss here is the friendship that will building over the years. 382 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 7: And I can tell you sure you know you can 383 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:10,439 Speaker 7: meet someone one night stand or you know you you 384 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 7: know online dating, you meet someone very quickly, you get married. 385 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,439 Speaker 7: I've seen these marriages last for years and years. It 386 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 7: happens in a different way for everyone, but one of 387 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 7: the tried and true formulas, and you know this too, 388 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 7: of a strong, strong, strong relationship is building that friendship, 389 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 7: getting to know each other in a way where sex 390 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,160 Speaker 7: does not get in the way of knowing one another, 391 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 7: understanding each other's vulnerabilities, being there for one another, and 392 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 7: taking the time to truly know one another. 393 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: And that's important. 394 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 3: Thank you. 395 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 2: Hey friends, I'm Jessica Capshaw and this is Kamila Luddington 396 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 2: and we have a new podcast, call It What It Is. 397 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 2: You may know us from Gracelawn Memorial, but did you 398 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 2: know that we are actually besties in real life. 399 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 9: And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and 400 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,120 Speaker 9: lows of life together. When one of us sends out 401 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 9: the distress signal, the other one always answers the call, 402 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 9: big or small. We are there, and what does that 403 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 9: look like? 404 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 2: A thousand pep talks a million. I've got yous, some 405 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,160 Speaker 2: very urgent I'm coming. 406 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 9: Overs, laughter through tears, no judgment, problem solving over glasses 407 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 9: of rose. Sometimes it takes tequila. 408 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: Because I don't know. 409 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 2: Let's face it, life can get even crazier than a 410 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 2: season finale of Grey's Anatomy. 411 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 9: And now here we are opening up the friendship circle 412 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 9: to you. 413 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 2: Someone's cheating, We've got you on that. In laws or 414 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 2: in lawe. 415 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 9: Let's get into it. 416 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 2: Toxic friendship, air it out. We're on your side to 417 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: help you with your concerns about ours and every once 418 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 2: in a while bring on an awesome guest to get 419 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 2: their take on the things that you bring us. 420 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 9: While we may be a license to advise, we're gonna 421 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 9: do it anyway. 422 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 2: Listen to call it what it is. Starting June third 423 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 2: on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get 424 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 2: your podcasts. 425 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: There's a guy in a red jacket. I'm sorry, the 426 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 1: guy Charles yelling at me. 427 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 10: Here. 428 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: Oh, God, my boy, Charles, I was telling you about 429 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: he Oh my word, this isna go. Yeah. 430 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 11: So seriously, though, at what point did you guys decide 431 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 11: to just come out to the public and try to 432 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 11: even live normal lives. Tell us tell me about that 433 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 11: experience doing normal. 434 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: Basically, man, I mean, Charles, we went into hiding d 435 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: No November thirtieth when an article came out. We were 436 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,200 Speaker 1: in two places, either her place or my flat, taking 437 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: trains back and forth, but we were not out and 438 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: public doing anything. When we finally got we took a 439 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:13,120 Speaker 1: trip in February thanks to Howard. I can't remember when 440 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 1: we ever actually got comfortable enough to go to a 441 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: Knix gang together, to go to a restaurant together to go. 442 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: We were absolutely shut down, in lockdown. 443 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 3: When we went to Mexico, we thought we were in 444 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 3: the clear, and we had drones following us the entire time, 445 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 3: and four days into the into the into the vacation, 446 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 3: we oh, it was everywhere and it was just Remember 447 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 3: we shut the curtains and we like pretty much cried 448 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,360 Speaker 3: and said, we can't go anywhere in the world where 449 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 3: we have to go back into hiding. 450 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,360 Speaker 1: Charles, I'm serious, we don't know when the Mexico thing, 451 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 1: we thought we were okay and safe, and we saw 452 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 1: the pictures later, but we ended up dipping. Like we're 453 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 1: sitting on the beach having lunch, picked up our food 454 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: and ran inside because it was a drone overhead taking 455 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,320 Speaker 1: pictures of us. We had a nice place we were 456 00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,199 Speaker 1: staying with the open looking out to the ocean, and 457 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 1: one morning she said, is that a drone looking ind 458 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 1: to the bedroom of where we were staying. This was so, 459 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,920 Speaker 1: this was February of twenty twenty three. This is all 460 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: so now we're a couple of months into it. I 461 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: can't remember how far into it to where we got 462 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:28,200 Speaker 1: comfortable enough. I mean, I do not know. 463 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 3: I think, I honestly believe it wasn't until the podcast. 464 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:38,919 Speaker 3: So our podcast launched December fifth, and once we started speaking, 465 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,400 Speaker 3: because we had not spoken, we had not released a statement, 466 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 3: we had said nothing. And once we started speaking, the 467 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 3: tabloids cared a lot less because it was there was 468 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 3: a vacuum. There was a void, so they could fill 469 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,199 Speaker 3: it and anytime they saw me walk out or you 470 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 3: walk out, they could create a story about our facial 471 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 3: expression or what we were doing. If we smiled we 472 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 3: were gloating, we were rubbing it in people's faces. We 473 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 3: weren't being respectful. If we had a sad look on 474 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 3: our face, we were breaking up, we had a fight, 475 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 3: we were doomed, and so it got to the point 476 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 3: where I didn't even want to walk my dog. So 477 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 3: it wasn't until we started speaking in our podcast. So 478 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 3: I really feel like it's just been in the last 479 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,680 Speaker 3: three months where we now feel like we can hold 480 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 3: up our heads and then walk down the street and 481 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 3: the photographers went away for the most part once we 482 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 3: started talking. 483 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 1: No, Charl's crazy, you asked that quite haven't thought about that. 484 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: We I guess it was almost a full year that 485 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: we weren't comfortable even going to lunch together. There's a 486 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 1: spot around the corner from us downtown that has a 487 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 1: We go in there to eat. We don't sit at 488 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: the bar. There is a wooden booth that we can 489 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: close the door and the only person that can see 490 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 1: is is the bartender who can come to us and 491 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 1: take like this. That was our place to do it. 492 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 3: It was like we were in a confessional. 493 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we were high. We were finding places to 494 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: be safe and to hide out, and so yeah, I 495 00:28:59,480 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: guess it did. 496 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,239 Speaker 3: Sol House was one of them. Actually, yeah, membership hit 497 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: we go in here, but there was a chase in Manhattan. 498 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 3: We had to get police involved to get into Soho House. 499 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 3: I mean it was crazy. I was like, it was 500 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 3: the most bizarre experience. Even having been in the media 501 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,239 Speaker 3: and seeing how other celebrities have dealt with things, you 502 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 3: don't know what it's like until you're in it, and 503 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 3: you just think, this is the most bizarre, like like 504 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 3: crazy experience I couldn't have imagined. But it beats you down. 505 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 1: It's funny. We literally, guys one day we were imagine 506 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: this day, full daytime, daylight out, the two of us 507 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: running down this street right here to get to get 508 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: into Soho House because we're being chased walking. We were 509 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: sprinting and running down the street trying to get into 510 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 1: this building. So yeah, I guess it took a full year. Bro, 511 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: I know ed I got in the red jack. They're 512 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 1: waiting for a minute, go ahead, rather. 513 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:50,719 Speaker 10: Yeah, thank you. 514 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 1: Quick. 515 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 10: Two part question. The first is, so, one thing they 516 00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 10: don't teach you in like school is how relationships can 517 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 10: affect your career. So it's interesting that your personal relationship 518 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 10: that's private ended up having an impact on your career. 519 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 10: But say you were a doctor or a lawyer or 520 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 10: so many other professions, it's like no one cares. So 521 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 10: it's interesting to me, And I don't know how you 522 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 10: would like structure that and like and for someone who's 523 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 10: like growing up and thinking about these things and how 524 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 10: you could go about it. So I think you too, 525 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 10: are in a position to help lead the way for 526 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 10: people to like create a structure for thinking about this 527 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 10: for someone, because if you are thinking about your career 528 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 10: in journalism or I think like acting politics and like 529 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 10: journalism are the only ones who really care about this stuff, 530 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 10: others it's like no one cares, right Like, So that's 531 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 10: the first I would just love to hear observations about 532 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 10: that one. The second is you two were such fantastic journalists, 533 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 10: and you know, the country needs you, the country needs 534 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 10: your voice, And I just wonder, you know, no one 535 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 10: really watches I don't really watch network news like that anymore. 536 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 10: A lot of people aren't I And I know you 537 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 10: don't want to get back into that grind, but when 538 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 10: you see people like it's not a best example of 539 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 10: like Tucker Carlson on X or people choosing alternative, alternative 540 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 10: ways to reach the people, or even John Stewart going 541 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 10: back to Comedy Central, was there has there ever been 542 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 10: a thought, I know you're doing the podcast. 543 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,320 Speaker 5: Has there ever been a thought of saying like we 544 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 5: don't need ABC anymore? Like it's a new game now, 545 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 5: people are watching TV in different ways. We're going to 546 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 5: reach the people in another way because they need our 547 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 5: they need us there. 548 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 3: Cool. So I'll take the first part, yes, and you 549 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 3: can take the second. The first part is you know, 550 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 3: I love what you said because how many people actually 551 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 3: meet their spouses at work? I mean a lot of 552 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 3: people do. That is a huge source of relationships because 553 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 3: you spend most of your time with your coworkers when 554 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 3: you get to a certain age, so it would make 555 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 3: sense that you would likely hang out, go out after work, 556 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 3: and potentially fall in love with your coworker. And I 557 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 3: think that was our frustration. Because there was no power structure. 558 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 3: We were in the exact same position. No one was 559 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 3: a boss over the other. So the truth is they 560 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 3: had to we we yes, we got fired because of 561 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 3: the distraction, but they had to honor our contracts because 562 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 3: they could not fire us with fault because we didn't 563 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 3: technically do anything wrong. 564 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 1: And they said that that we're not just saying that 565 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:22,120 Speaker 1: to you. 566 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 3: We put that is absolutely their word. So we didn't 567 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 3: do anything technically wrong. People fall in love at work 568 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 3: every day. It's what happens. The only issue is typically 569 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 3: if it's a boss and someone who has power over 570 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 3: someone else. That I understand. So it is incredibly frustrating 571 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 3: that to me, well, we've said this that that a tabloid, 572 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 3: a tabloid could actually take away our careers, and that 573 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 3: is what happened. So that is frustrating. But I would 574 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 3: I think it's insane and silly just to think that 575 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 3: you couldn't or shouldn't consider work being a place where 576 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 3: you'd meet somebody. That is something that's been happening for 577 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 3: the you know, since the beginning of time, and it's 578 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 3: not going to stop. So I just think as long 579 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 3: as you know that that's someone who's your equal, that 580 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 3: you don't have power over that person, there's absolutely nothing 581 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 3: wrong with it. Now, you do always have to consider 582 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 3: if you break up and you still have to work together, 583 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 3: what that's going to look like. So that would be 584 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 3: the only cautionary tale I think is you know, if 585 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 3: you can still be friends afterwards, or at least tolerate 586 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 3: working next to one another. That's probably the only legitimate 587 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,040 Speaker 3: concern you should have about dating somebody who you work with. 588 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, our podcast contract is more solid than any marriage 589 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: license we will ever sign, because that's the thing that's 590 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: going to keep us together. But my the guy you're 591 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 1: dealing with, Martin is a good friend of mine. Well, 592 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: he's a We went to University of Arkansas together and 593 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: he helped us put this together tonight. But he said 594 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,280 Speaker 1: something that goes to your point about the second part, 595 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: which is you talk about the other outlets, and you 596 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: talk about the networks and being in journalism and your voice. 597 00:33:53,520 --> 00:34:00,720 Speaker 1: People are over it. They are over looking at something 598 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: that is inauthentic, that isn't relatable. And as soon as 599 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: you're able to relate, soon as you're able to be authentic. 600 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 1: I tell students this all the time. The only are 601 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 1: they're trying to be like this gualan TV or that 602 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: gallant TV. I'm gonna emulate that anchor. The only way 603 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 1: you can stand out is to be yourself. And we 604 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 1: have struggled to find our way, our footing and our voice. 605 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: I think as soon as we nail that, and we 606 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: are getting closer and closer and closer and getting out 607 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: of that shame we're talking about. When people see there 608 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,360 Speaker 1: are more people that relate to they might not shout 609 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,879 Speaker 1: it from the rooftops like yeah, I was I had 610 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 1: this issue in libraries, but they know it, they feel it, 611 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: they hear it, they relate to it. And if we 612 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,800 Speaker 1: are speaking about it so openly and freely, I think 613 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: that is a freedom we now have that we didn't 614 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,880 Speaker 1: have before. That we relish and having that taken away 615 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: again is not something we are interested in at all. 616 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 1: So I appreciate what you're saying about our voices and 617 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 1: lending to through the conversations going on out there, But 618 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: the type of conversations we want to have now at 619 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,280 Speaker 1: this stage in our lives and careers are not happening 620 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: on network news. 621 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 3: All right, And Martin's Got one and I see you 622 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 3: in front two. 623 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,520 Speaker 12: Hi Tej and Hi Amy. I'm Kyla. I'm not a 624 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 12: Jewish mom, but I am a divorcee and I can 625 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 12: relate in a lot of ways. The first part is 626 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,200 Speaker 12: the comment, which is a quote from Obrah where she 627 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 12: says there's no wrong roads in life, that everything had 628 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 12: to happen a reason in life, for a reason for 629 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 12: you to get to where you are. So you might 630 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 12: take the wrong career, you might be in the wrong relationship, 631 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 12: but you had to kind of go on that path 632 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 12: to be where you are. So although maybe ideally you 633 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:44,960 Speaker 12: didn't want to go in this direction, but I feel 634 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 12: like if it didn't go this way, you probably wouldn't 635 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,959 Speaker 12: be here right now. The second but my question is, though, 636 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 12: do you feel like proximity has a lot to do 637 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,839 Speaker 12: with relationships and especially as we get older in life, 638 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 12: when you start realizing who you really are and what 639 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 12: you have in common with people connecting with someone who 640 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,719 Speaker 12: has a similar background or has a similar you see 641 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 12: where I'm going with this question. 642 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,200 Speaker 1: We've said this so many times that if we met 643 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:11,520 Speaker 1: in our twenties, we would have hated each other. We 644 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,800 Speaker 1: met in our thirties, maybe we wouldn't have hit it off, 645 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,960 Speaker 1: but she and I have. You wouldn't believe the trajectories 646 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 1: of our lives and careers that are so paralleled. We 647 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: from where how we grew up, where we grew up schools, 648 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,759 Speaker 1: we went to the paths that we took to go 649 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: from this market to that market to cable news to 650 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: network news and ended up in the same spot. The 651 00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,720 Speaker 1: parallels were just unreal. 652 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,880 Speaker 3: And a blackmail version of me. 653 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: We'll edit that out as well, But that sounds yeah, 654 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: I know she said that before. I do believe that 655 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: timing is absolutely everything. And I wasn't ready for her 656 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: or this relationship ten years ago. I was wasn't ready 657 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,080 Speaker 1: to receive a lot of the help she was giving 658 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 1: me when we started working there. I just wasn't there. 659 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,600 Speaker 1: So to anybody. And again, you live enough life, you 660 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,799 Speaker 1: know this and understand it. Sure, proximity can have a 661 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: lot to do with it. But we had so much 662 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: in common, and so many things in our lives had 663 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,879 Speaker 1: to happen exactly the way they did before we ever 664 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 1: met for us to end up in this position. Our 665 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: second marriages, both of us. This is freaky. This will oh, 666 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,840 Speaker 1: this is so free, This is freaky. We didn't know 667 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:38,400 Speaker 1: each other in twenty ten, but we got both of 668 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: us individually, got married, didn't know each other, got married 669 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 1: two weeks and two days apart in twenty ten, didn't 670 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,320 Speaker 1: know each other, but both of our weddings took place 671 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:58,919 Speaker 1: two weeks and two days apart. Both of our divorces, 672 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 1: and the ends of our marriages took place three weeks 673 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 1: apart all those years later, so weird the exact same now, 674 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: some people universe talking to you, sending you a certainty. 675 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,760 Speaker 1: You don't believe that. I believe in that, and I understand. 676 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 1: I know better now, I've lived enough to know when 677 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: the universe is giving you every signal. She likes to 678 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: call it, what you say, a lighted runway, lighter runway. 679 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 3: Just as we were realizing how we were feeling, ABC 680 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:37,440 Speaker 3: was sending us every week to just these unbelievable destinations 681 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 3: doing all of these things together. I was like, how 682 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,760 Speaker 3: I've never been sent around the world with one person 683 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 3: for a solid eight months straight. Right when all of 684 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 3: this was happening, it just felt like it felt like 685 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 3: a lighted runway. It really did. 686 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:49,319 Speaker 10: It was. 687 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 3: It was a bizarre thing. But I do agree that 688 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 3: when you can find somebody that it's just easy with. 689 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,640 Speaker 3: Not to say we don't fight, but we can be 690 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 3: silly together and we don't judge each other and we 691 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,240 Speaker 3: like the same sh that makes it so much easier. 692 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,239 Speaker 3: You don't have to be like that, but it's just 693 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 3: it's nice to just be able to fully. 694 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,600 Speaker 1: Be yourself and we are we going to have to 695 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,839 Speaker 1: write there was somebody you were pointing to. 696 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:17,200 Speaker 3: In this moment. 697 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 8: How you feel right now after sharing it? 698 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:19,640 Speaker 11: Oh? 699 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,359 Speaker 3: Lighter? I mean he was so nervous before we came 700 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,160 Speaker 3: on the stage. I was a little I've never seen 701 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,719 Speaker 3: you so nervous, like genuinely, but how do you feel now? 702 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,000 Speaker 3: I feel lighter, you. 703 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 1: Know, Mann? I was to be honest. We rode here 704 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 1: with my daughter, Sabine in the car with us, and 705 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 1: she actually said to me, yeah, you why are you 706 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 1: so nervous? And I asked, have you seen me nervous before? 707 00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,399 Speaker 1: She says she couldn't really come up with said maybe 708 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:53,800 Speaker 1: one other time. And I was so nervous, because guys, 709 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:59,440 Speaker 1: we are this is the first time for two people 710 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,040 Speaker 1: who have spent twenty five plus your careers being in 711 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:06,399 Speaker 1: front of people. This is the first time that we've 712 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 1: come face to face with an audience. That's a little 713 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,760 Speaker 1: nerve wracking, you don't know. And I'm kind of jokingly 714 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,720 Speaker 1: about the tomato in the back, but we always still 715 00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 1: have that in the back of our minds that somebody 716 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 1: is after us. And I did. I said, Hey, if 717 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 1: this happens if somebody rushes the stage. I actually said 718 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: that if somebody, some YouTuber in here is trying to 719 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,080 Speaker 1: make a point, get something to go viral and gonna 720 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,920 Speaker 1: threaten us in some way, try to get we have 721 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,319 Speaker 1: to prepare for. We actually did, and that sucks and 722 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,919 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but doing it now. And this is why 723 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 1: it was so important for doctor Garder to be here. 724 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 1: It was so important for we have so many friends 725 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 1: over here. You can't get to them because they're behind 726 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:56,800 Speaker 1: the red velvet rope. But to have Sabine here, my daughter, 727 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 1: and to have her daughter, an Elysea in the room, 728 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,719 Speaker 1: and what we've wanted and wanted and wanted is to 729 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,359 Speaker 1: make sure our kids were exposed to us. We hang 730 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 1: out all the time, but to be exposed to us 731 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:13,080 Speaker 1: and see that, oh wow, they do have support, Like 732 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,719 Speaker 1: there are other people who love mom and dad, there 733 00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 1: are other people who are supporting them. Was very important. 734 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: So do I feel lighter? Maybe the second Manhattan has 735 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,120 Speaker 1: something to do with how light I'm feeling. But thank 736 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: you for that question. And yes, you all are part 737 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:36,560 Speaker 1: of absolutely therapy for us, and we do sincerely thank 738 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:36,880 Speaker 1: you for that. 739 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,880 Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for being so kind and warm 740 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,359 Speaker 3: and we appreciate it. 741 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:46,440 Speaker 1: We were given this to wrap. Thank you again and 742 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: again you all hand for doctor Guardier. Thank you, Amen JJ, 743 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,760 Speaker 1: thank you doctor Guardia. Give them a closing thought. Anybody 744 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,120 Speaker 1: who's thinking about their life now and the choices they're making, 745 00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 1: give them a closing thought. 746 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 7: So what we see here very quickly is that it 747 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 7: is not just the retelling of a story, but looking 748 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 7: for the meanings in the things that have happened and 749 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,920 Speaker 7: understanding that everything is in divine order. We have a 750 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 7: lesson to learn each and every day. But to tell 751 00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 7: your story, you have to be courageous and not own 752 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:29,120 Speaker 7: the pathology of those who criticize all the time, because, 753 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:35,319 Speaker 7: as I like to say, how can you criticize the 754 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:40,360 Speaker 7: splinter in another person's eye when you have a plank 755 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:50,240 Speaker 7: in your own. Don't own their stuff, Do your thing.