1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Today iffed up by getting a DNA task and finding 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: out Granny got stuffed by another man's meat. 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 2: You know, some some people be uh butchering up a 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 2: nice slab of meat. 5 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Each salami needs to find 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 1: a new salami cave to hide in cave. 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 3: Can we please use that as our new like censored. 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 1: Word salami cave? All right, let's talk about Grandma's Slami cave. 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,919 Speaker 1: All right? Yeah, ah, alrighty then, so I've always been 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: interested in doing one of those at home kits that 11 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: tell your ethnicity estimates. First mistake, never do that if 12 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: you want to have a peaceful family, That's right. Yeah, 13 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: if we've learned anything on this show, my mother has 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: for many years claimed that her own great grandmother was 15 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 1: completely an utterly Native American. And I recently learned that 16 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: this is apparently something common for Southerners to claim. But 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: it is really true? Is that true? 18 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 3: That is that is true? 19 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: Like they'll be like, I'm one eighth Cherokee. 20 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 2: Yes, I uh, same thing, but John is actually the 21 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 2: same thing in my family. The one thing I will 22 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 2: say is we do have photographs of my great grandmother 23 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 2: who seems Native American. 24 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: But did you get tested? 25 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 3: Oh no, I haven't. I need I need to get 26 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 3: the test. 27 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to see how he'll do the test. 28 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: And then Volta make Cherokee like, what's the Yeah? 29 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 2: I you know, I shouldn't even say because I can't 30 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: even remember. But I'm at this point. It's like my 31 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 2: great grandmother. So I'm like she was either maybe she 32 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 2: was half her full I can't even remember, but I'm 33 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 2: like one hundred you know, what is it? Sixty fourth 34 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 2: or one thirty second or something like that. 35 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: Huh, it's not a lot. Wow, it's not a lot. 36 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: We have to. 37 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 3: When Sam doesn't say, you know, it was bad. 38 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: Well, all right, we actually don't have a question. What 39 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: percentage do you have to be to have like, you know, 40 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: like one of like like a renaming, you know. 41 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: Like to be like like like a little Bigfoot or 42 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 2: something like that. That's a great question, is I mean 43 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 2: one sixty fourth to cut off? Here? 44 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 3: Here's here's all I know. I pull up to the tribe. 45 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 2: They're like, nah, nah, that's what I know. They're like, 46 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 2: you no way, Nah. Have you seen Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? 47 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: I have seen that an an episode and see thee 48 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: Jenna from thirty Rocket using that she like the whitest blonde, 49 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: blue eyed chick you've ever seen. 50 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 2: The whole storyline is she's like secretly Native American, secret 51 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 2: Native American hiding among us. That's John, that's me. 52 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: I finally went ahead and bought one of those kits 53 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 1: because there's nothing I enjoy more than proving my mother wrong. 54 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 3: Oh yeah. 55 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: Fast forward a few weeks. I get my results and 56 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: I learn that I am, in fact, zero percent Native American, 57 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: zero zero percent, which isn't exactly shocking, But the real 58 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: surprise comes from the fact that I'm also zero percent 59 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: an Eastern European. This probably wouldn't mean much for most people, 60 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: but I happened to be Polish, or at least that's 61 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: what I thought. I have a very unpronounceable, very polish 62 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 1: last name. My great grandparents were Polish speaking immigrants, and 63 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: my paternal grandfather himself spoke Polish as a child. 64 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 2: What's up with Grandpappy's Polish sausage? Polish sausage, Hey. 65 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 3: Polish, and it's his sausage. 66 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: My first thought was that the test must have made 67 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: a mistake. The test never makes a mistake. 68 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 3: It's always the test. 69 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: My results came over a week before the projected arrival date, 70 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: and I knew I should be somewhere around twenty five 71 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: percent Polish Eastern European, so maybe there was some error 72 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: somewhere at the lab. So I started digging around through 73 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: my DNA relative matches. I had matched with an extended 74 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: cousin with my mom's maiden name living in the state 75 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: that she grew up in, So the DNA analyzed was 76 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: definitely mine and this wasn't a switch tube situation. There 77 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: were only two possible explanations. Either my own dad was 78 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: not my biological father oh oh, or my Polish grandfather 79 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: was not the biological father of my dad, so someone 80 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: done fed up in the family tree. 81 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 2: Somebody's sausage cave got invaded foreign sausage alert. 82 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I look a lot like my father, 83 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: so it seemed unlikely that we were not related. However, 84 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: there was no strong family resemblance between my dad and 85 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: his own father. In fact, my grandfather and many of 86 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: his siblings had a we'll call it striking nose that 87 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,119 Speaker 1: my sister and I often rejoiced in not inheriting. Also, 88 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: my paternal grandparents had a disastrous marriage and a bitter divorce. 89 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: An affair did not seem out of the question. So 90 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: there's something I hid, and underneath this family blanket. 91 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 3: Something was going on over here. 92 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: My paternal grandfather died over ten years ago, but my 93 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: paternal grandmother it's still living. And I gave her a 94 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: quick little call. What you got to say, Grannie, Granny, 95 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 1: explain yourself. It took a while for me fully to 96 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: explain the DNA testing to her, because she's eighty seven 97 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: and she doesn't understand these new final devices, But eventually 98 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: we got there. She denied it and tried to explain 99 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: the unexpected results with a long ramble about migrating European 100 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: tribes before I was finally able to make her understand 101 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: that I would be able to test relatives from the 102 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: Polish side of the family and determine whether or not 103 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: I was actually related to them. Oh, you know what 104 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: she said, John, She's like, that's probably a good idea, 105 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: and then I should think about this before contacting anyone 106 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: and think about what it would do to the family. 107 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: I should think about it, hunger, Annie. What's the harm 108 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 3: if we're all. 109 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: The late they did? Yeah, if you're telling the truth, 110 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: I thought I knew right then, but it wasn't until 111 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: the day two days later that she finally admitted to 112 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: my sister but that my father had been lying to 113 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: his entire life about his biological father. What wow, wow, 114 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: So who is my actual paternal grandfather? To be decided, 115 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 1: my grandmother promised my sister that she will tell the 116 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: two of us everything when my sister gets in town 117 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: for Christmas. She requested that we not tell anyone until then, 118 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 1: but it's too late. My sister has already told everyone 119 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: in the family. But John, guess what what? There's an update? 120 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 3: Is it the next link? 121 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 122 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 3: So I had that as like a same as we 123 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 3: did before, like a. 124 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: Pho ok, yeah cool, cool cool cool. There is an update, 125 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: but we'll get to that in another part.