Speaker 1: Are you leave the I you on your way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 2: Le wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need you ride?
Speaker 4: Ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and Chris, you're listening to
Speaker 3: do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's scary. We might have to keep
Speaker 5: that welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen kilgaraff.
Speaker 5: I thought it would be a fun little uh stunt
Speaker 5: to do the podcast backwards today.
Speaker 1: That's uh so, do you have any plugs?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I will be online and occasionally doing stand up. Oh
Speaker 5: that's so funny. It just came out of me. That's
Speaker 5: a podcast first.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: And what's exciting about having this job, Chris, is that
Speaker 2: stuff like that, which if we worked in it and
Speaker 2: made a mistake on that level, we would probably written up,
Speaker 2: if not called into the boss's office.
Speaker 1: On podcasting.
Speaker 2: It's just one more compelling, interesting moment between us to
Speaker 2: talk about and make jokes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and especially since I'm working with the head boss.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 3: I didn't even get written up this will well, you
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: This might be in your final year you're any review.
Speaker 5: This is like in Spanish class in high school where
Speaker 5: she silently was giving me an f every day for
Speaker 5: making kids laugh.
Speaker 2: Was it for making kids laugh or not listening and
Speaker 2: interrupting her? I mean, let's just.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right to take Devil's advocate and God, she
Speaker 5: was the devil.
Speaker 3: She was El Diablo incarnate.
Speaker 2: I'm here to represent her. I'm her public defender. I'm
Speaker 2: not getting paid a lot and I don't care that much.
Speaker 5: One day yelling at me, and this was in the
Speaker 5: early nineties, so it was less common. I she was
Speaker 5: yelling at me, and then a bunch of marijuana fell
Speaker 5: out of her purse and I put that in my
Speaker 5: mental bank.
Speaker 3: I didn't say anything at the time.
Speaker 5: Also, I knew her her son was my sister's age,
Speaker 5: had some addiction problems, real ones. And so one day,
Speaker 5: when she's yelling at me in front of the class,
Speaker 5: I said, quit trying to parent me when you came
Speaker 5: and parent.
Speaker 1: Your own son, Oh my god.
Speaker 5: And she was really there's a lot that I should have,
Speaker 5: many stories we don't have time for before that where
Speaker 5: I honestly still think she deserved it. She was mean
Speaker 5: to me and my sister. She was like a mean
Speaker 5: person that shouldn't have been a teacher. She didn't like
Speaker 5: young people. Yeah, but yes I said something I shouldn't have,
Speaker 5: but I was a punk rock, angry kid, and she
Speaker 5: we had to storm down to the principal's office. My
Speaker 5: parents were called, and then my dad. She forgot that
Speaker 5: I had this older sister who also had trouble with her,
Speaker 5: and my dad just told those stories.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, she.
Speaker 5: Seemed to have a problem with my daughter as well.
Speaker 5: I think that maybe she's a person that doesn't like
Speaker 5: young people and shouldn't be teaching. And they said, okay,
Speaker 5: well just put Chris in another class. And then I
Speaker 5: got bees and did Spanish in college and forgot it all. Nice,
Speaker 5: I've forgotten all of and no requerdo well.
Speaker 1: You yeah you remembered whatever Theados biblioteca I've heard you say,
Speaker 1: memo me fail.
Speaker 3: I can point the things and decide whether they're pretty
Speaker 3: or ugly. And that's really all you need to do. True.
Speaker 5: When I got to Mexico, I just point to things
Speaker 5: and say ugly beautiful, ugly beautiful, and like, uh uh
Speaker 5: talk for Richard Peter Gunn. I don't know who's Tim
Speaker 5: Gun Tim Gun. I saw him in New York City,
Speaker 5: just walking around.
Speaker 3: He was walking out of the met I was going
Speaker 3: into the met. He was sharp dressed.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
Speaker 5: Every day we looked at each other in the eyes.
Speaker 5: I think I got an affirmative nod from him.
Speaker 1: If you were looking at him all excited, I bet you.
Speaker 5: I looked happy, and he's like, he looks happy, and
Speaker 5: so I got a little head. I don't know much
Speaker 5: about him. He does judge things right, yes, on.
Speaker 2: A project one way don't which I don't watch. But
Speaker 2: the weird thing that we're talking about this is that
Speaker 2: just today I was watching TikTok and Seth Myers told
Speaker 2: a Tim Gunn story where he was at the airport
Speaker 2: with his mother and father, and his mother was being
Speaker 2: loud because he was telling this funny story, like his
Speaker 2: mom talks loud and.
Speaker 3: Talks a lot, and then he has a loud voice
Speaker 3: it's probably in the family.
Speaker 2: So they see Tim Gunn at their gate and he's
Speaker 2: like afraid to say anything because he doesn't want his
Speaker 2: mom talking to Tim Gunn, thinking that she'd be inappropriate.
Speaker 2: Then they announced that the flight is delayed and he said,
Speaker 2: I've never seen he goes. I've a lot of celebrities
Speaker 2: interact with, you know, their audience and people that like them.
Speaker 1: He's like, no one is nicer than Tim Gunn.
Speaker 2: He was making videos with a guy going Hi, Carol,
Speaker 2: I'm here with your husband Bob.
Speaker 1: It's Tim Gunn. The flight's delayed, but we're gonna make
Speaker 1: it work. And he was like, oh wow, it was
Speaker 1: a really funny story about how Tim gun is the
Speaker 1: nicest celebrity.
Speaker 5: Wow, And that news spreads like like Keanu Reeves on
Speaker 5: a subway.
Speaker 3: Giving up his seat to people and things like that.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were using Keanu Reeves on the
Speaker 2: subway as a metaphor of how it's spread.
Speaker 5: I tried to at the last minute because I realized
Speaker 5: I was about to mention a motor transport, but it
Speaker 5: didn't really work. There are literal videos of Keanu Reeves
Speaker 5: on buses or subways, like where someone's filming him because
Speaker 5: he's famous, and then he gets caught doing letting someone
Speaker 5: sit in his seat, the minor things, you know, not
Speaker 5: Tim Gunn doing impromptu cameos for people.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's awesome. Yeah, well it's like he enjoys it.
Speaker 2: Unlike your Spanish teacher who shouldn't have been teaching high school.
Speaker 2: Tim Gunn does enjoy being a man of the people.
Speaker 5: And thank you a celeb, thank you for finally being
Speaker 5: on my side with that, because I thought you were
Speaker 5: on my teacher's side for a minute.
Speaker 1: Well here's the thing. We can be very we can
Speaker 1: be very rewriting of history. When it's like my teacher
Speaker 1: didn't like me because I made children laugh, where it's like, yes,
Speaker 1: we all, we all were the class clown. Yes, it
Speaker 1: was irritating, Yeah, almost everybody.
Speaker 5: I was disruptive and in Spanish class you have to listen,
Speaker 5: and I was taking that ability from other kids.
Speaker 2: Wow, that was really I appreciate and respect your accountability
Speaker 2: in this moment.
Speaker 3: Thank you. If I you know, I I just come
Speaker 3: here for a therapy.
Speaker 1: Well you're doing great, thank you.
Speaker 2: You've made a huge progress since since this podcast started
Speaker 2: thirteen minutes ago.
Speaker 3: I'll see you next Wednesday. That's our time, I decide.
Speaker 5: Boy, I'm still a little shaken by opening with our
Speaker 5: closing with my closing line.
Speaker 2: Well, but do you want to tell the people why?
Speaker 2: Because you were talking about it earlier, and I do
Speaker 2: think it's relevant.
Speaker 5: I am low on magnesium before that. Oh but late
Speaker 5: night I did a thing that I used to do.
Speaker 5: But I skated until like one in the morning at
Speaker 5: an underground parking garage because I was asked by my
Speaker 5: friend Garrett, who's married to Lork Kitlinger and I haven't
Speaker 5: seen him a long time. We skated till the wee
Speaker 5: hours and I had so much fun. I haven't done
Speaker 5: don stop skated for four hours and years. But when
Speaker 5: I got home, I had restless leg like my legs
Speaker 5: were partying, like they were jiggling, just because I activated
Speaker 5: some quick twitches and so I was twitchy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And I took some just regular over the counter tail
Speaker 5: and all PA just two of them. I didn't take three.
Speaker 5: I promise maybe I did, But I I woke up
Speaker 5: in what year is it?
Speaker 3: What day is it? Oh?
Speaker 5: My god, it's one pm. I slapped eleven hours. Yeah,
Speaker 5: And sometimes people say, oh, you must have needed it. No,
Speaker 5: I think I drugged myself. Yeah, you're a drug and
Speaker 5: I'm disoriented. And you've also diagnosed that I'm low on magnesium,
Speaker 5: which I think.
Speaker 1: I am so as a suggestion. I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 5: But you are in these cars that he doesn't even
Speaker 5: know that truck is there recent accident. I thought that
Speaker 5: the little truck dealt with it calmly. He almost got
Speaker 5: a dent from a large Who. No, he's speeding up
Speaker 5: to give him some lamp.
Speaker 1: Wow, guys, we have a t bone accident directly in
Speaker 1: the road in front of us. We all had to
Speaker 1: drive around it. Yeah, I was serious.
Speaker 3: It's so funny.
Speaker 5: I was so interested in this near accident that I
Speaker 5: missed the actual accident.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a t boning. You didn't even look.
Speaker 2: Chris was directly in front of us. You gotta get
Speaker 2: off tiland ill PM. I'm not kidding. This is insane.
Speaker 3: Hey listen, man, it's twenty ten. I can do whatever
Speaker 3: I want. Where are we again? God? I love Austin, Texas.
Speaker 3: I'm glad I moved here.
Speaker 1: Listener, there was an accident in front of us where
Speaker 1: literally two cars were the shape of a te and
Speaker 1: We had to drive all the way around it, and
Speaker 1: Chris was looking at you like a car that was
Speaker 1: mad that another car wouldn't.
Speaker 6: Let it in.
Speaker 1: They were to the right of that.
Speaker 5: There is a good two feet of clearance. It wasn't
Speaker 5: even a close call. But I was so infatuated with
Speaker 5: the story that we're actually following him still. Oh man,
Speaker 5: I didn't see that t bone. Yeah, accident made popular
Speaker 5: by this stake.
Speaker 2: It was in the center of your vision. That's what
Speaker 2: I'm worried about. Yeah, you have a blind Are you
Speaker 2: seeing spots?
Speaker 1: Are you seeing?
Speaker 3: You know? I'm still getting used to these lenses. What
Speaker 3: you got?
Speaker 1: Are those your bifocals?
Speaker 3: Try? Oh yeah, thats right, they're progressives. Trifocals are for
Speaker 3: our grandparents.
Speaker 5: These are the modern new kick gas where's the sunny
Speaker 5: d electric guitar playing progressives?
Speaker 3: And they work great.
Speaker 5: But like I've said before, I don't I don't always
Speaker 5: have my neck in the right position to be looking
Speaker 5: through the right A quadrant would be a specific area
Speaker 5: for is there three version the rightdent? Yeah, I have
Speaker 5: to be looking through the right trident And maybe that's
Speaker 5: why I missed the t boning. So we're going to
Speaker 5: pick up our guests, do I believe.
Speaker 2: I feel like if your glasses prevented you from seeing
Speaker 2: everything in the center of your vision, then we might
Speaker 2: need to Yeah.
Speaker 3: I can only pick up on things in my periphery.
Speaker 3: What a terrible life, What a life?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: There he is there, he is there, he is that's
Speaker 2: the house I have summertimeroom.
Speaker 3: There he is our guest.
Speaker 4: Today.
Speaker 5: You've seen uh clubs and colleges across the globe.
Speaker 3: Billy, Wayne Davis, everyone Davis.
Speaker 4: Hey, you guys. Hey, that's smart. You just put the
Speaker 4: you made the car computer and they can disrecord the Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Karen designed this vehicle. Yeah. And then and now
Speaker 3: she talks about freedom of speech a lot.
Speaker 4: You do, freedom that you love freedom.
Speaker 2: I'm just yeah, exactly. I just want to be around
Speaker 2: my people. And on top of that, I just want
Speaker 2: people to be able to make the worst jokes about
Speaker 2: the worst people on what I like to call X
Speaker 2: you can call it Twitter, you guys.
Speaker 3: To Austin is my stand up coom any hometown.
Speaker 5: And I'm sorry, I take a little bit of a
Speaker 5: fence good.
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I know what's going on there now
Speaker 3: here about all the.
Speaker 1: Dudes that have moved there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a popular spot.
Speaker 3: I like hanging out with dudes, you guys, but not
Speaker 3: those dudes. How are you? How are you?
Speaker 5: I recognize the house from the time I had to
Speaker 5: emergency use the bathroom.
Speaker 4: When oh yeah, that was fun, the same bathrooms.
Speaker 3: It was in the perfect place.
Speaker 4: I recall, oh, yeah it is you know what about that?
Speaker 4: And my wife will never listen to this.
Speaker 1: That hurts.
Speaker 4: Uh it's not you guys. Yeah, yeah, no, it is
Speaker 4: not you too, Okay, So yeah.
Speaker 7: Is yes the one you used strate like literally go
Speaker 7: through the side door and it's like you just walk
Speaker 7: right there. It's right there, right on the ill. Yes,
Speaker 7: But she loves our bathroom so much that well, like
Speaker 7: even when she has to like, oh my god, you
Speaker 7: know because LA traffic will do that where you're like, well,
Speaker 7: I'm not paying my pants, right, So she'll like run
Speaker 7: in and then run past it to go to our bathroom.
Speaker 7: And every time I'm always like, I just I don't
Speaker 7: understand nobody.
Speaker 3: What is where?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 3: What what do you think?
Speaker 2: It's the reason it's like that she likes the guest
Speaker 2: bathroom more than your guys, is no ours.
Speaker 7: Is farther away, she will run to it. Oh, yes,
Speaker 7: she will always, can I say why? Yes, that's why
Speaker 7: I brought it up. Okay, you were looking, you were
Speaker 7: tricking your email or something, but.
Speaker 1: Well, I was just looking to see where we could
Speaker 1: go to get Starbucks.
Speaker 7: There's a Starbucks, like so close that it would I
Speaker 7: don't make head. It would defeat the purpose of this.
Speaker 7: It is like that we could have walked and it
Speaker 7: would have been ideal.
Speaker 6: No, we do.
Speaker 3: We do it up top and then we close strong, okay,
Speaker 3: like you want to do with stand up.
Speaker 5: Maybe she wants to keep the bathroom a guest bathrooms
Speaker 5: in case someone like me bargets.
Speaker 2: And now she wants to be lovely the back of
Speaker 2: the house to do all her farting and anti girl stuff.
Speaker 2: That's not like probably in front of her husband, in
Speaker 2: front of a guest.
Speaker 4: No, she does not. It is not about me.
Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, because sometimes I will be taking a shower
Speaker 7: in that bathroom and she will come do the stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which every human does. I'm not outing her on
Speaker 4: that one.
Speaker 3: We all there's a popular children's book.
Speaker 4: Yeah it is. Yeah, we've taught two of them how
Speaker 4: to do it.
Speaker 3: It's infectious.
Speaker 1: You helped them out.
Speaker 3: Yeah you have to, Yeah, you do.
Speaker 4: It's something they don't pick up that you got to
Speaker 4: teach them.
Speaker 5: I love the idea that there's a third kid and
Speaker 5: you didn't teach them, they're just smearing.
Speaker 4: Well he was the Yeah, he was the control, so
Speaker 4: all good experience.
Speaker 1: Let's see what he does.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know what, nothing he does nothing.
Speaker 1: Control.
Speaker 4: He is the coolest though.
Speaker 1: Three kids.
Speaker 7: Now he made up one for a poop joke, and
Speaker 7: I did not flinch. No, I dove into that lane, like, yeah,
Speaker 7: here we go right with it.
Speaker 1: I was like, have I not seen you in that long?
Speaker 1: You now have a ship ton of children.
Speaker 7: Oh? That just gave me so much anxiety, just the
Speaker 7: made up children I had. I went from having really
Speaker 7: fun with it and then I was like, oh no,
Speaker 7: that's start saving.
Speaker 3: I just added like a fake responsibility.
Speaker 4: Just more than the money. It's just like it's just
Speaker 4: like so much not peace.
Speaker 1: Volume questions. What's the thing that robs your piece the
Speaker 1: most these days?
Speaker 4: Learning new things that are supposed to help me?
Speaker 5: Oh, because you're busy retelling things that children are supposed
Speaker 5: to learn.
Speaker 7: No, like apps, or like scheduling things or promotion wise
Speaker 7: or just like those things change very rapidly.
Speaker 4: Now. Yeah, that it's I told you how close it was.
Speaker 1: It's shocking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, our heads are indeed has been.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like it was like you actually took
Speaker 7: the long way. It is always kind of the nightmare.
Speaker 7: And if we came at five thirty to six in
Speaker 7: the morning, they know.
Speaker 1: Me here, Oh oh do they is it a kind
Speaker 1: of like we know your order get Yeah.
Speaker 7: And at first I was like offended by it because
Speaker 7: I was like, man, I'm not like, oh, by your voice,
Speaker 7: of course.
Speaker 4: But then it hit me, yes, Chris got it. First.
Speaker 7: I was like, yo, I am one of the few
Speaker 7: people that are like, good morning, y'all, and they're like, oh,
Speaker 7: this guy's here again. That's now on and cheery in
Speaker 7: the morning.
Speaker 3: That's what it is. I was just gonna say before
Speaker 3: you said it, it's no accent. It's your cheeriness. No,
Speaker 3: you're always a bundle of joy.
Speaker 4: It is the accent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that probably is the accent.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's a It helps sometimes and sometimes it's not
Speaker 7: great where they're just like, yeah, that's the murderer.
Speaker 1: You what's your Starbucks order in the mornings or yeah,
Speaker 1: what do they know about?
Speaker 7: Here's also they'll be able to tell it's for sure
Speaker 7: me is it's one I don't want to make coffee
Speaker 7: at home. You know those days we were like and
Speaker 7: it's you sew how close it is, so it'll be like,
Speaker 7: I'm just kinda me too.
Speaker 5: I got two places of different coffee brewing styles. You
Speaker 5: have the cold pour over which I still.
Speaker 3: Don't know what that is.
Speaker 5: I tried to, and then a more classic place, and
Speaker 5: I have a coffee maker, but I walk down there.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 7: There's a fancy one down the street now that I love,
Speaker 7: but I don't know, but maybe once every two weeks,
Speaker 7: because hey, it's they know it's good, so they charge
Speaker 7: it like it is if you.
Speaker 3: If they heard your voice, would we find out what
Speaker 3: your order is?
Speaker 4: It did?
Speaker 7: I don't know in the afternoon right, but in the morning,
Speaker 7: chances are that shift is familiar.
Speaker 4: It's a venty blonde in a grande pike.
Speaker 1: Wow, a blonde. Oh so you're I get two drinks too,
Speaker 1: sometimes the.
Speaker 7: Whole morning, and if I do it right into the afternoon.
Speaker 7: Sometimes if I do it, if I need it, sometimes I.
Speaker 4: Don't at all.
Speaker 1: What's the Pike Pike place.
Speaker 3: It's just a bru of course, of course.
Speaker 7: You confuse me. I was like, oh, I don't know
Speaker 7: if I'm doing something special on accident.
Speaker 4: And they love it too.
Speaker 7: My friend noticed that too. He was like, oh, they
Speaker 7: love you here. And I was like, well, I just
Speaker 7: say give me two of the hots and hand them
Speaker 7: in the cup.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 4: And everyone else is just like, I mean this and
Speaker 4: this and this, right, I mean they need sugar or anything.
Speaker 1: I just need to of the hots' good two hots
Speaker 1: on its way out?
Speaker 5: Yeah, what's the guy behind us in line? The fact
Speaker 5: that he was waiting in the active roadway worrying YouTube.
Speaker 1: Like it was yeah, and the guy in front of
Speaker 1: us wasn't moving out just for texting.
Speaker 3: Okay, there was a lot. I'm sorry that took some
Speaker 3: attention away.
Speaker 7: No, it is fine because I'm in the back instead
Speaker 7: of having to worry about these problems, right, because it
Speaker 7: is something It is a common This was a burger king.
Speaker 4: When we moved here.
Speaker 1: Oh that's exciting, and it was not.
Speaker 4: Popular even with the kids because there's like a middle
Speaker 4: school there.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 4: I was just like, ah, it's maybe it's just one
Speaker 4: of those spots. It doesn't.
Speaker 7: And then they put a Starbucks and I was like, nope, no,
Speaker 7: it's not the spot. Oh people do not care about Burger.
Speaker 2: I feel like Burger King really decidedly lost the Burger Wars.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, they did, really lost all the chicken.
Speaker 1: Everything they've tried to do.
Speaker 5: They go they went the Pepsi route.
Speaker 3: They're like, we're okay, it's now.
Speaker 7: They went the Kmart route, I think, which is like, hey,
Speaker 7: we're dying. There's a couple of us here and there.
Speaker 3: We're literally going to.
Speaker 5: Put up a blue siren light and give things away
Speaker 5: in a Sure you want a cold frosty drink. We
Speaker 5: don't know what we're doing.
Speaker 1: Help us.
Speaker 3: We have car hearts where the label is misspelled.
Speaker 4: We did a weird mascot and that helped us for
Speaker 4: like way longer than it should have.
Speaker 3: Oh the scary Duracel looking cake remember him? Yeah, he
Speaker 3: was creepy.
Speaker 2: He was like breaking into people's houses and they would
Speaker 2: do like fake the video of people getting woken up
Speaker 2: by the King.
Speaker 5: Right, they actually made him like a Michael Meyer's lovable character,
Speaker 5: like he's gonna be at the foot of your bed.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, it's like how about you just have a bun
Speaker 2: that isn't stale. That's really odd that anyone wants.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's where they also went the Kmart route like quality.
Speaker 5: Maybe no offense to our friends at Kmart.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think they're all dead.
Speaker 4: I think they're all dead.
Speaker 3: They're all they are. What happened to Route sixty six
Speaker 3: and their carpenter pants? Okay? Whoa?
Speaker 4: Everyone knows the Montana came.
Speaker 3: I was a frequent You guys, don't pull a rain
Speaker 3: Man on me and tell me Camart sucks because I.
Speaker 7: Went there there when you get Icys before Walmart kind
Speaker 7: of existed.
Speaker 3: So yeah, you're not.
Speaker 4: You're not better than us, right right because you went
Speaker 4: to Kmart. I know we did too.
Speaker 3: It was at a time where all I wanted was
Speaker 3: a giant T shirts and big pants.
Speaker 4: Man, my son is.
Speaker 1: Is is he in that face?
Speaker 3: Yes? It is.
Speaker 7: It's it's like a snake where it's like I don't
Speaker 7: hate it, but it's unsettling because you're just like.
Speaker 4: Why why are they so big?
Speaker 1: What are you doing under there?
Speaker 7: And I think, to me too, is like it's I
Speaker 7: was never into the big clothes, except for maybe big pants,
Speaker 7: but not for leaving the house. Right, I love big pants,
Speaker 7: except for you know, outside the house comfortable pants.
Speaker 3: Well, it was kind of style all around.
Speaker 5: And I didn't realize that until I acquired a pair
Speaker 5: of my dad's like nice pants with a little embroidered pheasants.
Speaker 5: They're like polo pants, and I've liked them for twenty years.
Speaker 5: I finally got them.
Speaker 3: They are season pilot episode of Friends. Huge. Like pants
Speaker 3: just used to be.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they did huge cuts.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was the thing I didn't even notice because
Speaker 5: in the skateboarding world they were downright clownish.
Speaker 3: They would cover your shoes, they were straight legged and.
Speaker 4: Just what's ink? And yes, oh that's cool, it's awesome.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 3: It is. Yeah, I am happy to hear that. Also, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: I completely support it.
Speaker 3: It's good. Thanks buddy.
Speaker 5: I mean I take that personally in I said thanks buddy,
Speaker 5: because it's just been fart of my life always, and
Speaker 5: but I do not like that. That the clown pants
Speaker 5: thing that's coming back, because if you go to a
Speaker 5: skate thop right now, it is giant.
Speaker 4: It's I saw it.
Speaker 7: I honestly thought he didn't have like pants with him.
Speaker 7: The first time I saw him in this new because
Speaker 7: at first they were big. You know, there's like a
Speaker 7: step up where all right, you got some dickies yeah,
Speaker 7: you know what I mean, and a little bigger yeah,
Speaker 7: and you get it too because they kind of help
Speaker 7: when you fall, Like I totally get what's happening, and
Speaker 7: then yeah, I think there's something.
Speaker 4: There's so you know, things were upped in the style.
Speaker 7: Thing and they're so big that I was like, you
Speaker 7: need pants and he was like, no, this is the
Speaker 7: style and I was like, okay, I don't.
Speaker 4: I am a dad.
Speaker 1: Now are they like junko jeans?
Speaker 3: Big?
Speaker 1: Some of them are going there.
Speaker 4: They're not made to be junko jeans.
Speaker 7: Everybody they like yeah, yeah, And they're just so big
Speaker 7: on him and they're regular pants, but they're just so big.
Speaker 5: And even the skate companies now are doing little embroidered
Speaker 5: characters and stuff on the back pocket, like, which is
Speaker 5: totally Jancoe.
Speaker 4: Yeah it is. I don't it all. It's all cyclical.
Speaker 3: It is because just ten years ago I was like,
Speaker 3: why is everyone wearing tight pants?
Speaker 4: I didn't like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the whole like figure skatingly tight pants.
Speaker 4: That's still it's certain cultures. That's still cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: It's interesting how certain pants are like, we're going to
Speaker 4: do this in this culture.
Speaker 5: Yeah right.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's the thing.
Speaker 5: It's all the same brands that have gone from skinny
Speaker 5: to big in the last decade.
Speaker 1: I like to I have.
Speaker 3: All over the map. I have different sized pants for
Speaker 3: different occasions.
Speaker 7: I don't understand the skinny Gee, I never did those.
Speaker 7: I never understood that. It didn't I tried them on.
Speaker 7: It's not They weren't comfortable, right, so they are struck
Speaker 7: struck like three there's three strikes, right, yeah, yes, and
Speaker 7: then they don't look great. No, unless you're like a
Speaker 7: bird person, and then you look awesome in it.
Speaker 1: What's your Oh?
Speaker 4: Just a tall just a tall pike? Hot? Yeah, I
Speaker 4: have a regular lemonade.
Speaker 3: Sure, I'll get a grande Pike. Okay, yeah, hot, I
Speaker 3: think I'll get iced. Thank you. I once made a
Speaker 3: bad decision.
Speaker 1: You'd never do that again.
Speaker 3: I'm a regular with Karen.
Speaker 9: Hi.
Speaker 1: Can I get a grande iced pike place or whatever
Speaker 1: your coffee is right now?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: You want one to Can I get two of those? Sorry?
Speaker 1: And a grande lemonade and.
Speaker 2: A Grande ice smoke up please, Oh it's a Grande
Speaker 2: ice smoker.
Speaker 5: Okay, I think I know what was going on there
Speaker 5: is because it sounded like a call center in the background,
Speaker 5: although it was frank.
Speaker 3: To us, there was all these people really loud. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he couldn't understand.
Speaker 7: Well, he's also and I know this because and I
Speaker 7: was a little embarrassed as I'm like, this is my store.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, we're talking to Gregory right now.
Speaker 4: Well, and I was like, I don't know who this
Speaker 4: dude is, but I do know, and I was trying
Speaker 4: to figure. I was like, he's trying.
Speaker 7: And then what it is is like the person doing
Speaker 7: the headset with you is also handing the drinks and
Speaker 7: the taking and taking money.
Speaker 4: And stuff from the people at the window.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so you that's the person that has to
Speaker 3: be on their a game that day.
Speaker 1: They have to be able to multitask you.
Speaker 7: Usually I'm here in the more and I think that
Speaker 7: they whoever you know, probably schedules this as like, oh,
Speaker 7: we put the best of the best in the morning,
Speaker 7: and then they're always I guess I'm also friendly because
Speaker 7: I'm always like, oh, thank you, you're doing great. You
Speaker 7: know that kind of stuff right, And one dude finally
Speaker 7: said something one day and he was like, he's like,
Speaker 7: you're always so pleasant, thank you.
Speaker 4: Most people are not. Yeah, it never occurred to me.
Speaker 7: It's just the deep southern mother that was just put
Speaker 7: it in there sure that it just comes out, and
Speaker 7: it's like and I've also worked a bunch of service jobs,
Speaker 7: so I'm also like, hey, it sucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're with you.
Speaker 4: I've been there, it sucks. Yeah, he's just a little positive.
Speaker 2: Also, Los Angeles has a culture of people who are entitled,
Speaker 2: who don't have banners, who don't When I moved down
Speaker 2: here from northern California, not crazy far away, I was
Speaker 2: just like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: Like people don't say hi when they walk by you
Speaker 1: on the street.
Speaker 3: I'm afraid.
Speaker 1: So it's there's just basic like people don't say please,
Speaker 1: they don't say thank you. It's gross.
Speaker 2: And I think there's like a little bit of monkey
Speaker 2: see monkey do entitlement bullshit where it's like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is how powerful people act or or this is how
Speaker 2: you're supposed to act instead of just being like a
Speaker 2: good human being.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is weird.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it kind of hit me hard. The last New
Speaker 5: York visit because I was like, God, everyone here is
Speaker 5: so friendly. I thought this was supposed to be Hey,
Speaker 5: fuck you bottom boom. I thought that I and everyone
Speaker 5: was so nice, asking questions, not just immediately talking about themselves.
Speaker 5: And I think that I just realized maybe people are
Speaker 5: act weird here.
Speaker 4: No, I've had I don't know if i've been.
Speaker 7: I've had that in conversations recently where maybe it's with
Speaker 7: the perception of the comedy scene and stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and people were like, Oh, it's like this and this,
Speaker 4: And I was like.
Speaker 7: Now I find LA rather cold as like a culture
Speaker 7: with other human beings. Yes, And I found New York
Speaker 7: more in their feelings and open yep, and kind of
Speaker 7: like I enjoy that more in that.
Speaker 4: Yes, I think I'm like in between.
Speaker 7: That's why I used to love San Francisco because I
Speaker 7: was like, Oh, this feels like the like the leave
Speaker 7: me alone a little bit that I need of the
Speaker 7: West Coast because I'm a hillbilly, but also like, hey,
Speaker 7: I can confront you if we have a problem, right, yes,
Speaker 7: which is I don't know the way to be.
Speaker 2: If that's how society usually works, kind of like you're
Speaker 2: in it with other people whereas this town, well it's
Speaker 2: just all made up. But there's a lot of that, like,
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm going to pretend like I miss
Speaker 2: the CEO of Paramount or some shit, and that's how.
Speaker 1: And so you were my servant.
Speaker 2: And like there's people who learn how to act like
Speaker 2: that from like the people around them, because they no
Speaker 2: one taught them manners at all, maybe moving out here.
Speaker 2: So there's just that kind of like I don't know,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of that cooler than now, which always
Speaker 2: is bad manners.
Speaker 4: You know, and it's not cool.
Speaker 1: It is not cool.
Speaker 4: No, it's not like I run on the river thing
Speaker 4: sometimes it is just a thing.
Speaker 3: It is actually a river, but it's a thing now,
Speaker 3: it's cement thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, well it's like a trail or whatever.
Speaker 3: Sure, I don't know what to call it is.
Speaker 7: But even then when you're like like I'm clearly a runner,
Speaker 7: you know, I have the silly glasses and the stuff,
Speaker 7: you know.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, you got the glass if
Speaker 1: you wear the paper number every.
Speaker 7: Time, man that you have a hard time getting me
Speaker 7: to do that during the races. I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 7: not gonna wint wear Like when you know who you
Speaker 7: are if you fall down. I was like, okay, fair enough, okay,
Speaker 7: fair okay.
Speaker 4: I might fall down it.
Speaker 7: But like even when you're running, like it's like clear,
Speaker 7: you know, it's like, hey, I'm wearing neon. It's like
Speaker 7: I'm not can you just give him like a head
Speaker 7: and on? Or like we're two people exercising on the
Speaker 7: same and they'll ignore you there and you're just like
Speaker 7: I don't understand, Like I'm not trying to fuck you,
Speaker 7: but I'm not even trying to, Like it's like I'm
Speaker 7: just another human being and we shared a space for
Speaker 7: a moment.
Speaker 4: Yep, isn't that cool? Like no, no, it is not.
Speaker 2: One time I was walking toward a guy on the
Speaker 2: Warner Brothers lot who looked so much like ice Cube
Speaker 2: I mean sorry, so much like Vanilla Ice, such a huge.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So he's walking towards me and I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it would be so funny if this was Vanilla Ice.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's not.
Speaker 2: But I have this little smile on it because it's
Speaker 2: like it's a dude who thinks that's a cool way to.
Speaker 1: Look, which he could be, right, I know, he looks
Speaker 1: like he doesn't realize awesome, and he.
Speaker 2: Like was kind of looking elsewhere, maybe looking down, I
Speaker 2: can't remember, and when he looked up at me, he
Speaker 2: kind of did this like like ew, like don't look
Speaker 2: at me, and I was like, motherfucker, I will fucking
Speaker 2: end you, like you fool. First of all, nice gel like,
Speaker 2: how dare you? I'm not trying to like flirt with you,
Speaker 2: you goofball. It was that thing to me that is
Speaker 2: Los Angeles in a nutshell, where like some fucking vanilla
Speaker 2: ice looking motherfucker is going to like put turn his
Speaker 2: nose up at you.
Speaker 5: No whereas the real vanilla eyes, which I experienced when
Speaker 5: I saw him in Vegas with a group of reality
Speaker 5: show people. One of them was gross ass Ron Jeremy.
Speaker 5: I don't know what TV show it was, but they
Speaker 5: were on some sort.
Speaker 1: Of a real life or something, and I think it
Speaker 1: was good.
Speaker 4: It was a good.
Speaker 3: City. I saw him though, and David.
Speaker 4: Simon did.
Speaker 5: Wow, uh it's it's early Dick Wolf work. But I
Speaker 5: just out of my mouth was like, wow, you're van
Speaker 5: a ice because we're walking in a narrow hallway and
Speaker 5: he was just standing there. They're waiting for people.
Speaker 4: It comes out sometimes when they're like really famously, he just.
Speaker 3: Said, oh, thanks for noticing. What's your name?
Speaker 5: And he like shook my hand and I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: Van no Ice, I can't. I only won't say nice things.
Speaker 3: About the ice.
Speaker 7: He's wonderful. Every now and then he like steel construction equipment.
Speaker 7: Wait what, that's what he remember? He had like a
Speaker 7: house flipping thing all right. And then but that's just
Speaker 7: because he was raised in Florida. That's just Florida.
Speaker 4: He got caught. It was that he did. He got
Speaker 4: caught doing it.
Speaker 1: That's the problem.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we used to do that to build skateboard.
Speaker 7: Now I'm saying, but he was like he had a
Speaker 7: TV show too. There's just so many Florida levels.
Speaker 3: Did that make it on the show? I would love it.
Speaker 7: I think they probably had to explain it that probably
Speaker 7: like a card that's like, you know, the voice over like, hey,
Speaker 7: we heard what happened to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you probably stole a lot of copper pipes. You
Speaker 3: know what that means it was a drug? Probably?
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 7: I do think he was like just being like, we
Speaker 7: can just make this for cheaper if we don't pay
Speaker 7: for materials.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're like, you.
Speaker 1: Sure can this is the way I learned how to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's I think that's slavery too.
Speaker 3: It's oh, that's so insane.
Speaker 5: It's like the day someone gave me a flask and
Speaker 5: I was already in my thirties, and I'm like, I
Speaker 5: love this flask. Ever since I got it, I'm saving
Speaker 5: so much money because I had like booze.
Speaker 3: In my pocket.
Speaker 5: It's like discovering one day it's cheaper to not pay taxes.
Speaker 5: I just like, oh, it's the wrong thing to do. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 5: I get it.
Speaker 3: Vanilla shit.
Speaker 4: Oh they charged us a lot here because we shouldn't
Speaker 4: drink a bunch of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm getting punished just for drinking more.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So, since you are running so much, so have you
Speaker 5: are you all around? Like you stopped smoking a long
Speaker 5: time ago.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 7: I was just telling this story recently because I don't
Speaker 7: I think it was a friend of mine was trying
Speaker 7: to But you always come up when I tell this story.
Speaker 7: Especially it's usually comics who are curious about you know, Hey, so.
Speaker 4: You don't do that, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 4: you're like, yeah, you can still be funny without that.
Speaker 4: It's okay, right right, Because we're all damaged. Yeah, little babies.
Speaker 4: We're all a little damaged little babies. It's a little funny,
Speaker 4: little fucked up babies.
Speaker 7: But I explained to them, like, the the weirdest part
Speaker 7: of quitting smoking to me because that book worked, Alan
Speaker 7: Carr book totally works because you smoked a lot.
Speaker 4: But I loved tobacco. Yeah, and then uh, it really is.
Speaker 4: And then I vince myself that I was like, I
Speaker 4: just love tobacco.
Speaker 7: And then I started smoking those American spirits that it's
Speaker 7: just like, yeah, I really fucking loved those. There's three
Speaker 7: thousand chemicals too. I love the diet Coke Park right right,
Speaker 7: And I was like, I need to quit, and so
Speaker 7: I did the book. And then what I realized after
Speaker 7: I quit, and I'd already quit drinking at this point too,
Speaker 7: is oh, no, like I learned how to do stand
Speaker 7: up without drinking.
Speaker 4: You know, I drank at the time, but I always learned.
Speaker 5: I learned how to do it sober m Five and
Speaker 5: a half months in to not drinking, and I find
Speaker 5: that I'm very nervous when I'm on stage.
Speaker 3: Was that one of your things that you had to shake?
Speaker 4: Well, no, because I still.
Speaker 7: I still like cannabis, but also like I've never had
Speaker 7: the public speaking fear.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's never to me.
Speaker 7: It was always clear, Well, these people are here and
Speaker 7: they're looking at you, they're ready to listen, like this
Speaker 7: is ideal like and then I don't like to get
Speaker 7: their attention a lot.
Speaker 4: That's my problem.
Speaker 7: I was like, I have thoughts and I want to
Speaker 7: tell some of these people what they are because it
Speaker 7: will help them.
Speaker 4: So that wasn't a problem.
Speaker 7: But there's like, you know, little like rituals that you
Speaker 7: don't realize that we're doing over years, and it occurred
Speaker 7: to me. I gave myself like five or six days
Speaker 7: after I quit of not going on stage, just because
Speaker 7: I knew, ah, that's too important to me, and I
Speaker 7: will be weak and be like, no, I'm just gonna
Speaker 7: do my ritual.
Speaker 1: Right, you know what I mean, which is what stepping out.
Speaker 7: I'll smoke a cigarette and then I'll go on stage,
Speaker 7: and then I'll do my sat and then I'll walk
Speaker 7: off stage and I'll smoke another cigarett.
Speaker 4: It's booking awesome, it is, so what is.
Speaker 2: It about that it's like book ending in this way
Speaker 2: that you you're kind of punching yourself in the lungs
Speaker 2: as a way to say we started and now we're done.
Speaker 4: Well, it's also helps you come down from the adrenaline, right, yeah.
Speaker 3: So but before the set though, it's a stimulant.
Speaker 5: I used to run around the block and smoke a
Speaker 5: couple of cigarettes before I went on stage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, that's a weird that's a long time.
Speaker 4: No, it's no, it's so much of its mental.
Speaker 7: So part of the story is that. So I realized
Speaker 7: what it was because of the Alan Carr book and stuff.
Speaker 4: And then it was that weird kind of open mic
Speaker 4: book show downtown. Do you remember that show? It was
Speaker 4: like a weird bar.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a narrow bar.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's where one of the times I remember hanging
Speaker 5: out with you for the first time since meeting you
Speaker 5: in Seattle.
Speaker 7: Yes, I do want to talk about So then I
Speaker 7: came and I was so thankful because you know, I
Speaker 7: kind of had real Oh, I've never done stand up
Speaker 7: in my whole life without smoking before and after, because
Speaker 7: I smoked before I started like way before, and I
Speaker 7: was like, oh, so I went on. That wasn't you know,
Speaker 7: I could pace before, so that wasn't a huge problem
Speaker 7: and that wasn't the case with you with alcohol, right, Yeah,
Speaker 7: no alcohol I had because I learned to do it sober, right,
Speaker 7: and I would drink after it. Sometimes I would start
Speaker 7: with whatever, you know, I would grab a beer if
Speaker 7: as I went on stage, yeah, one or two, not
Speaker 7: even like that, would start drinking as I would, like, gotcha,
Speaker 7: that was like a good trick.
Speaker 3: Yeah that sounds borderline healthy to me.
Speaker 7: Well, and then afterwards though, we were drinking till we
Speaker 7: couldn't find anymore.
Speaker 1: So oh gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 7: Yeah, there were other problems. Yeah, yeah, it's like running
Speaker 7: to my own then smoking two cigarettes. Yeah, hey, you
Speaker 7: could have done nothing right.
Speaker 3: Nothing good happens after midnight, That's.
Speaker 7: What I So I walk off the stage. I do fine,
Speaker 7: you know is that room where I'm like, that went
Speaker 7: the way it should have.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 7: And then you were sitting there and you went to
Speaker 7: say something to me, and I was like, so thankful
Speaker 7: as you because I went, hey, I quit smoking seven
Speaker 7: days ago.
Speaker 4: Is the first time I've ever done stand up with us?
Speaker 4: Was it? Give me two minutes and this thing my
Speaker 4: head will and you're not cool?
Speaker 7: And you just kind of sat there next to me,
Speaker 7: which was the nicest thing. You didn't like go away
Speaker 7: or anything.
Speaker 3: I knew what you were saying.
Speaker 4: And then no, that was really cool.
Speaker 7: And then my head felt like it was just in
Speaker 7: a pool of water, just swimming for two minutes, and
Speaker 7: then it went away. And then you and I just
Speaker 7: started talking about like, yeah, I think one of the
Speaker 7: first times we met was you jumped in a dumpster, right,
Speaker 7: so there was like we were near a dumpster and
Speaker 7: I was like, hey, remember the first time we met.
Speaker 4: You were in one of those.
Speaker 5: I think punching boards that had staples in them, and
Speaker 5: my knuckles were bleeding, but it was while laughing. I
Speaker 5: was having fun.
Speaker 4: It was awesome.
Speaker 5: Bridgetown, Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, I must have done
Speaker 5: it a lot because I'm getting a lot of Portland Bridgetown.
Speaker 3: Apparently I backflipped into a dumpster. I don't know.
Speaker 7: That's yeah, No, it was well, that whole party was
Speaker 7: sloppy for everyone. It wasn't just like oh, Chris was
Speaker 7: out of hand. It was like, no, we remember what
Speaker 7: you did, and then what we did. And then I've
Speaker 7: heard stories like you remember that and it's like a no, yeah,
Speaker 7: I can't deny it though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all of them are stories I tell without a
Speaker 3: smile on my face.
Speaker 4: Though it was a fun time, pure joy those.
Speaker 2: But I think I came up on you at maybe
Speaker 2: that same year when you were in the refrigerator box.
Speaker 2: I was coming from a show and you were in
Speaker 2: a refrigerator box on the sidewalk there.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's that's become a sought out, sought after
Speaker 5: video because my manager was filmed.
Speaker 4: With are they still your manager?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes, that's good.
Speaker 1: She really believes.
Speaker 5: No. She was laughing harder than anyone while the footage
Speaker 5: is actually jiggling because we're being yelled at at the
Speaker 5: hotel and I'm I'm I basically am saying, well, how
Speaker 5: do you think I feel? I'm stuck in a box
Speaker 5: as if I hadn't put myself there, and that guy
Speaker 5: was being a jerk, and I know who his boss is.
Speaker 5: I could have my friend is part owner of that hotel,
Speaker 5: but I don't do those things anyway.
Speaker 3: I remember that interaction we had, and I think that's
Speaker 3: why we had a moment.
Speaker 2: Of I have a question about the about the head swimming,
Speaker 2: because that's that took that truck so long to turn
Speaker 2: right that I almost hit.
Speaker 4: It on purpose.
Speaker 3: That's why I wasn't to do that.
Speaker 4: You can't, but I do. I want to do that.
Speaker 7: My uncle, my uncle, who I love. He used to
Speaker 7: live in Houston. Back can't say. He's a little older.
Speaker 7: He's funnier, meaner, he used to say when he lived
Speaker 7: in Houston. I'll go visit him. And he's like, you know,
Speaker 7: how rich I want to be? Like he would start
Speaker 7: that and was like, you thought about this, so yeah, yeah,
Speaker 7: He's like, I just want to be rich enough when
Speaker 7: when someone like pisses me off in traffic, I can
Speaker 7: just ram their car and ruin their day and then
Speaker 7: just throw whatever money it is they need. It just
Speaker 7: ruins their day. It doesn't ruin their life for anything.
Speaker 7: It just ruins their day.
Speaker 1: And I was like, that is.
Speaker 4: A good okay, that is yeah, yeah, it is a
Speaker 4: good goal.
Speaker 3: That's it's important to have little goals.
Speaker 7: I've never done the math on it, but I bet
Speaker 7: it's not as much unless you just kind of go
Speaker 7: looking for it.
Speaker 4: And I think he might well, yeah, it.
Speaker 2: Sounds like the level of anger would probably be setting
Speaker 2: that it might have after.
Speaker 4: The first time and you're like, damn, now I got
Speaker 4: all this money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was gonna ask the head swimming, do
Speaker 2: you believe it was like the surge, the post set
Speaker 2: surge that you that your brain was then going, now
Speaker 2: we smoke right now, do it now?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yes, And it wasn't given and it had been you
Speaker 7: know at that point over a decade for sure, well
Speaker 7: not well over, but like for sure probably twelve thirteen
Speaker 7: years at that point mm hmm. And so yeah, of
Speaker 7: just like that's in who knows how many sets, because
Speaker 7: that's all I've done my adult life is stand up, right.
Speaker 5: I think that my yeah, my uneasiness was, yeah, just
Speaker 5: the habit of wait, even if it was down to
Speaker 5: usually I have my hand occupied right now now I'm
Speaker 5: just rubbing them together because I'm about to do stand up.
Speaker 1: I was like a little prying mantis idea. Yeah, here's
Speaker 1: an observation.
Speaker 4: Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: You have to keep the mic in the mic stand
Speaker 1: because now you're a hand rubber.
Speaker 5: And I have to rock back and forth almost robotically.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna start acting like a prank man.
Speaker 4: You just sit on the stool and let me tell you.
Speaker 1: Lecturing mantis.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna talk to you guys about life like
Speaker 4: you don't live it.
Speaker 1: Let's get d you want to know? How would you
Speaker 1: know unless I tell.
Speaker 4: You the comedia tell ye about life?
Speaker 7: Is? I used to try to you know what you're
Speaker 7: trying to write like that? And then you're like, oh no,
Speaker 7: I can't. I don't know too much.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to stand up sitting in a stool.
Speaker 4: I can tell you what not to do.
Speaker 7: Yeah, most of my like, hey, don't I don't ever
Speaker 7: tell the universe like what's the worst that can happen?
Speaker 4: Because the universe is like serious, let's do this thing. Finally,
Speaker 4: watch this. This little idiot.
Speaker 3: Said, did you do stand up before you lived in Seattle?
Speaker 5: And you did live in Seattle for a little bit, right,
Speaker 5: that was kind of the beginning your relationship and our relationship.
Speaker 4: More important than your relationship.
Speaker 5: I around that time, driving around not Kirkland, but those
Speaker 5: that those small town areas. Yeah, and I've talked about
Speaker 5: on the podcast before, but it's an odd thing there.
Speaker 5: And maybe in Portland they have those coffee drive through
Speaker 5: bikini places.
Speaker 3: Do you remember that?
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, well, okay, I don't even want to talk
Speaker 7: about this on the podcast, but we're going to.
Speaker 1: Is your wife won't listen.
Speaker 4: No, no, she would know this idea. She would just
Speaker 4: getting mad that I told is I used to love like.
Speaker 7: The coffee was like no, it was like, you know
Speaker 7: what you would expect from a bikini beuris in the
Speaker 7: rut in the middle of a parking lot. Yeah, it's
Speaker 7: well prepared. But it hit me recently because like they
Speaker 7: go nuts when there's like a new Starbucks in a
Speaker 7: small town. They'll go nuts in the South, and like
Speaker 7: a Starbucks opens in Kroger or something, right, and it
Speaker 7: hit me. I was like, oh my god, if you
Speaker 7: could just you start a chain of those in the South. Now,
Speaker 7: you would have to go from like small town to
Speaker 7: small town. You would have to bribe a lot of
Speaker 7: politicians to make it happen, right, right, but you would stay.
Speaker 7: It would like it's like you would you're printing money
Speaker 7: because you're selling something addictive with boobies. Yeah, something's just
Speaker 7: construction workers like, yeah, I guess I like locust stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly, it is.
Speaker 5: It is some sort of it screams legal loophole that
Speaker 5: only exists in that area Pacific Northwest. Yes, because I
Speaker 5: was like, how it just seems dangerous for the girls
Speaker 5: that was my first. They're scantily clad. What am I seventy?
Speaker 3: And they have no protection?
Speaker 7: Way to describe it though, they're not naked, and they're
Speaker 7: not in bikinis, but they are they're not in clothes.
Speaker 3: When they wake up, they're like, I gotta get clad.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go scanty.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which drawer?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: This one I got my scanties. Don't say it panties.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: They just the other day though, someone uh it was
Speaker 3: a national news story.
Speaker 5: Some scary man went to one of those and had
Speaker 5: a giant zip tie and went to He said, can
Speaker 5: I get five dollars change? And when she reached to
Speaker 5: hand them the money, he tried to get the giant
Speaker 5: zip tie around her head to pull her out.
Speaker 3: He tried to abduct her.
Speaker 9: Well you know, and it I was like, that's exactly
Speaker 9: what I was. But that's any place that a lady is, Chris.
Speaker 7: I think that that is also, if we're being honest,
Speaker 7: it's also a danger for your face and hand. That's
Speaker 7: the thing about like dark people, dark alleys are scary
Speaker 7: for everyone vulnerable position.
Speaker 5: I think this guy was obsessed with this girl because
Speaker 5: she's she's not even wearing a T shirt and that
Speaker 5: added to his obsession. I really think it's a dangerous
Speaker 5: business model.
Speaker 4: Because he was like, I don't know strip club also
Speaker 4: us exactly.
Speaker 5: I guess those exist and aren't going anywhere. But something
Speaker 5: about driving up and being able to drive away in
Speaker 5: a tiny not only uninsulated, they always seem hot in there,
Speaker 5: but you could pick it up and put it on
Speaker 5: a tow truck and steal the whole staff.
Speaker 7: I think also, though what you're some of the ladies
Speaker 7: are very capable and they're not. I say, maybe some
Speaker 7: are forced to do it. I'm not assuming that there's
Speaker 7: not a percentage.
Speaker 3: Oh, they get huge tips.
Speaker 7: And then there's also what they're dealing with is scalding hot, right,
Speaker 7: so if you get too touchy or grabby, it's like, oh, look.
Speaker 3: Burns.
Speaker 4: You have first degree burns. So there is like a
Speaker 4: built in weapon that you're selling.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like they're pulling up to a bear
Speaker 1: spray kiosk. She's not weapons all around that they that
Speaker 1: they are allowed to have.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's a good idea. I want ther to be
Speaker 3: bear spray kiosk.
Speaker 1: And someone's like, would you like a sample today? Your
Speaker 1: fucking pig and then they just spray it.
Speaker 3: If there's bear bear spray kiosk.
Speaker 8: Wait, if you're getting a small town girl in a
Speaker 8: bikini to sell coffee, she's used to dealing with dingbags, right, right,
Speaker 8: she's a little scary too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a professional dingbat dealer. Yeah.
Speaker 7: Where you know, you've been on the road in the
Speaker 7: small towns where sometimes the hot girl will be.
Speaker 4: Like a chieve you and you're like, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what have I done?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't like that.
Speaker 3: Only always said that, but yeah, you're right, it is dodging.
Speaker 5: By the time when I was a kid, I was
Speaker 5: chasing my cat and he went behind the dishwasher where
Speaker 5: our coffee maker was a fix to the bottom of
Speaker 5: the cupboard above it, and I pulled the dishwater out,
Speaker 5: grabbed the cat, pulled up my ass and hit the
Speaker 5: coffee maker. The craft shattered and hot coffee, oh soaked.
Speaker 4: Did it make you super horny?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it triggered my boner.
Speaker 4: You're like, this is going the way I wanted it to.
Speaker 1: So you're saying that cat was asking for it. Bullshit.
Speaker 3: The cat didn't get burnt that I remember, But yeah,
Speaker 3: my skin pit.
Speaker 5: I had second degree burns on your neck, and I
Speaker 5: am and I kept telling kids, I remember I burned
Speaker 5: my back on coffee this morning, and then.
Speaker 3: They all slapped my back.
Speaker 4: Yeah you did. They're crazy. Yeah, you know anything. They're
Speaker 4: just running about.
Speaker 2: They're just they go with the first feeling, and they're
Speaker 2: just like, if you say my back hurts, they go
Speaker 2: this one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my whole day.
Speaker 7: It's awesome, like dingbat moms and dads that are like,
Speaker 7: I listen to what my kids say. You're supposed to
Speaker 7: listen to their feelings and listen to things, but you're
Speaker 7: not supposed to let them choose things. Their children they
Speaker 7: don't know stuff, right, It's just that you can get
Speaker 7: You need to guide them. Yeah, it's like Adam Sandler
Speaker 7: did a great movie about it called Big Daddy. He
Speaker 7: learned all those lessons.
Speaker 4: That a lot of people in this town did not learn.
Speaker 1: No, they did not.
Speaker 2: Because also, what I think is really interesting is the
Speaker 2: more choice you give children, the worst.
Speaker 1: They get very insecure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like, what, no, why aren't you you in charge?
Speaker 2: Why a god saying what dold I be in charge?
Speaker 2: Then they get mad, and then you're dealing with that.
Speaker 7: Adults get mad when they realize they're in charge, So
Speaker 7: why would child and.
Speaker 4: Not be like wait what?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Fuck you?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 4: God know? Do you know what I want to do
Speaker 4: right now? And I know it's bad.
Speaker 1: Please don't enable me to You.
Speaker 4: Need to be around here. So it does it happen? Sometimes?
Speaker 7: Yeah, my son will be like where are you going?
Speaker 7: I'm like out to take the garbage. He's like, okay,
Speaker 7: I just need someone around to keep me safe.
Speaker 3: Oh that's what he says.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh that's the best. Yeah.
Speaker 7: No, he's very articulate in a way that it's like
Speaker 7: super adorable that might get annoying one day.
Speaker 3: What do you what comes to mind?
Speaker 5: What what makes you happy that your son has gotten
Speaker 5: into skateboarding? Because I think it's.
Speaker 4: Why I have a four year old and then I
Speaker 4: have a right I did fourteen year old.
Speaker 3: I figured you were talking about two different kids.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but they're both in so they both started taking
Speaker 7: lessons at the same time.
Speaker 3: Oh cool, that's a good idea.
Speaker 7: And to do less It was the first time the
Speaker 7: fourteen year old's kind of have been interested in sports. Sure,
Speaker 7: you know he's done some sports, but it's the first one,
Speaker 7: He's like, I want to do this. I was like, okay, cool,
Speaker 7: and I know nothing about skateboarding and we'll never know
Speaker 7: how to do it right.
Speaker 4: I will.
Speaker 7: I've always felt completely uncomfortable. And even his teacher's like,
Speaker 7: I can show you, and I was like, you can't.
Speaker 4: You just can't.
Speaker 3: Tell. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't want to really ever be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right in that way.
Speaker 5: It's like, because I've seen it's a phenomenon that's been
Speaker 5: happening where there's like it's kind of like the baseball
Speaker 5: dad one's and little league dads yelling at their kids
Speaker 5: because they vicariously they're reliving their skate days. But I've
Speaker 5: seen skate dads they clearly have never done it, yell
Speaker 5: literally yelling at their kid like come onme on, just
Speaker 5: do it.
Speaker 3: Try to do They're like saying the lingo, but they
Speaker 3: never I can tell.
Speaker 4: Oh, I will not.
Speaker 7: I just like my only thing is like, hey, when
Speaker 7: you go to skate park, you have to wear pads
Speaker 7: at the skate park. I know, when you're riding on
Speaker 7: this the neighborhood around here with your friends.
Speaker 4: You're not going to understand that. Sure, I was, but when.
Speaker 7: You're doing stuff where you're gonna for sure or fall.
Speaker 7: He's like, okay, right, like.
Speaker 3: Ramps it is.
Speaker 5: I think it's a good idea. I never did, but
Speaker 5: it is a good idea. And Jason Spier's kid, he
Speaker 5: has him do the same thing. He's getting pretty good well,
Speaker 5: and it's all pads.
Speaker 7: I don't think my son is ever going to be
Speaker 7: like a pro skater, so his brain, his brain is
Speaker 7: more important.
Speaker 3: Of course.
Speaker 7: I'm at like on that one where it's like, yeah,
Speaker 7: so you're right. He know, he may skate his whole
Speaker 7: life and design boards. He's an artist and loves all
Speaker 7: that and do tricks, but that brain, it's so like
Speaker 7: my dad's a football coach.
Speaker 5: So yeah, none of us when I was a kid,
Speaker 5: none of us were We maybe should have, but none
Speaker 5: of us were thinking it would lead to anything other
Speaker 5: than just fun. You know, like we should have been
Speaker 5: making videos and sending them when we were at our
Speaker 5: best ability. But even then I don't think.
Speaker 4: We quite well.
Speaker 7: Whose parents are bam Leageer's parents, right, yea? And then
Speaker 7: it's like yeah, man, jump off that bill, let me
Speaker 7: get my camera. Yeah okay, you know, like most parents
Speaker 7: are like, hey, just don't break anything, right, why because
Speaker 7: we have eleven dollars.
Speaker 5: Right, that's that's definitely that was my parents. Yeah, do
Speaker 5: dangerous things, but please do them cautiously.
Speaker 4: Just so careful. Yeah, just yeah, you climb the tree,
Speaker 4: but make sure it's like a pine tree. So when
Speaker 4: you fall, you that's very specific.
Speaker 1: Break that fall.
Speaker 7: Learn to break your break your own falls. You don't
Speaker 7: break anything, it's just like you don't fall hard enough.
Speaker 7: Here's bruised.
Speaker 1: I really like this neighborhood. But Billy, did you see
Speaker 1: that house?
Speaker 2: We pulled up that first street and there's literally a
Speaker 2: house that looks like it started to get built and
Speaker 2: now it's just sitting there.
Speaker 7: Now, this is a there's an it's transitions by the right.
Speaker 7: I don't even know if gentrification is there. There is
Speaker 7: some of that going on for sure. But then there
Speaker 7: is what I think is happening because we're in like
Speaker 7: a like a foothill kind of.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I live in the like a we call
Speaker 4: it the middle.
Speaker 10: And uh of a hill basically, well yeah, the flat
Speaker 10: part of it, you know, and then the Mount Washington
Speaker 10: kind of starts behind us, and uh, but like I
Speaker 10: think what happens there is so there's like, you know,
Speaker 10: in La you'll see some old house and if you
Speaker 10: looked it up on Zillow, you're like.
Speaker 4: Whoa, that's there's like fifteen bedrooms in there.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but they're like, oh, it was bought in nineteen
Speaker 7: seventy and no one has ever moved away because they
Speaker 7: worked on the Golden Girls, right, oh wow, you know
Speaker 7: what I mean. Or they just get a check and
Speaker 7: it's just like some old weird dude.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 7: So there's a lot of there's like a mix of
Speaker 7: those properties because it's the start of the heel over there,
Speaker 7: and then you know, multi generational homes and then gentrification,
Speaker 7: and I don't care for all the new white people.
Speaker 7: I've been here, like, we've been here like a decade.
Speaker 7: And what's odd is like we found the house that
Speaker 7: we think that someone tried to flip, and they were
Speaker 7: just so early on this neighborhood, ever being whatever.
Speaker 3: So it already had a lot of work done.
Speaker 4: Oh it was amazing.
Speaker 7: And then they slashed the price even while we were
Speaker 7: looking at it, and we're like, well, that's that's a move.
Speaker 3: This is the thing that happened ten years ago, yes,
Speaker 3: just not now.
Speaker 4: And then we brought the property values up for whatever.
Speaker 1: Reason, because you guys have good manners.
Speaker 7: I guess that's what I that's what I could. And
Speaker 7: they laugh so hard because I'm like, I'm a heel.
Speaker 4: Folk from the East Tennessee.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Wow, And they're like, that is what I dude, I
Speaker 4: guess that's that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting. And what it's not my money grows,
Speaker 3: not even my money.
Speaker 4: Wow, awesome lady, I'm married.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: But it's just so funny.
Speaker 7: We're just like, okay, well so none of it means anything,
Speaker 7: and they're like, he'll be shut up.
Speaker 4: People are making money. I'm like, no, I'm not against,
Speaker 4: but it is a good like.
Speaker 1: It feels like a nice community.
Speaker 4: Whatever wonder, whatever's going on.
Speaker 7: I loved it before whatever, because it's a it's just
Speaker 7: a working class Mexican neighborhood. Multi like everyone's cool and
Speaker 7: respectful and does their things.
Speaker 5: That's what I love about Echo Park since I've moved
Speaker 5: there after being fifteen years with retired boat.
Speaker 1: To stay away from the boat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, stay away from boats.
Speaker 4: They're drunk.
Speaker 3: Drunks and there's glowing the dark alien swimming underwater.
Speaker 4: Stay out of the bioluminous.
Speaker 5: That's better, that's better, better, better words.
Speaker 3: Have you ever.
Speaker 1: Experienced that, that's the one I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well they I think people buy property and they
Speaker 7: you know how people like I got a deal.
Speaker 3: Weird that they don't.
Speaker 4: They don't have anymore exactly.
Speaker 5: Something fell through and that's a rich someone got killed,
Speaker 5: that's a that's a that guy went to prison or
Speaker 5: was I.
Speaker 4: Mean, you're going dark. But I was just like, hey,
Speaker 4: we were going to do something and then didn't.
Speaker 2: I yeah, yeah, somebody that had a very high up
Speaker 2: job at Quibi. Yeah, than they're like here, I'm going
Speaker 2: to pay.
Speaker 3: That's so creepy. You know.
Speaker 1: There's a flock of crows.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: We're looking at a cement foundation and the building the
Speaker 5: framework of a modern home and it's just old wood
Speaker 5: that would probably isn't twenty years old, but it looks
Speaker 5: like it is because it was never treated in any
Speaker 5: It's scary.
Speaker 7: Well if you look it was like that's not that
Speaker 7: is one day you were at work and then the
Speaker 7: next day there is no more work. Yes, because there's
Speaker 7: not even like a tear down or like right that
Speaker 7: is like you show up and that there's a dude
Speaker 7: sitting in his pickup and he's.
Speaker 5: Like, oh, man, yeah, so that must mean the person
Speaker 5: that owns that property still owns it.
Speaker 3: They just are at a standstill inside.
Speaker 1: They can't even afford to have the bad wood taken down.
Speaker 7: Yeah, or it's in some weird foreclosure kind of yeah. Yeah, no,
Speaker 7: man's just quit. It would be got with Hey, look
Speaker 7: it's TV shows, but not at all, but just enough to.
Speaker 3: It's TV shows but in your pants pocket. Yeah it
Speaker 3: didn't take off, did it.
Speaker 7: I uh?
Speaker 5: It just I thought of a hitman or a drug
Speaker 5: dealer that had to go to prison or whatever. Because
Speaker 5: that looks exactly like the unfinished homes in Costa Rica.
Speaker 3: Right at the San Jose Airport in Costa Rica.
Speaker 5: There's all these the framework and the cement part foundation
Speaker 5: of a home like that. There's a bunch of them
Speaker 5: and then there's just spray paint and they haven't been touched.
Speaker 4: Is that drug dealing and murders or is that crypto?
Speaker 3: This was before that that. I was there before the crypto.
Speaker 7: Because I think I think a lot of crypto dudes
Speaker 7: had a lot of big plans they were making, and
Speaker 7: then you know, it's weird. Right after we uh we
Speaker 7: seized all those Russian funds in the war and stuff,
Speaker 7: all the bitcoin money went away.
Speaker 4: That timing was weird to me.
Speaker 2: I thought I always thought it was weird where no
Speaker 2: one could ever explain what the fuck it actually. I
Speaker 2: had a like a finance guy that was like, I
Speaker 2: really want to talk to you about me too. I
Speaker 2: invite you to talk to me about bitcoin in a
Speaker 2: way that moves me off of my firm stance of
Speaker 2: it's got to be you have to be able to
Speaker 2: put it in my hands.
Speaker 4: Right at this point, I'm cynical, can you move me?
Speaker 4: Try it?
Speaker 5: And they no one, even an expert, can't explain it.
Speaker 5: In Layman's turns, I had the same meeting about NFTs someone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they were like, Chris, You've got again.
Speaker 3: Exactly your artwork. It's perfect for it.
Speaker 4: You were hit up about it.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you know, you've talked about a half
Speaker 3: hour and I'm further from knowing what it.
Speaker 8: Yes.
Speaker 7: My favorite one was when they were selling real estate
Speaker 7: in the metaverse thing.
Speaker 1: Oh were they really?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, mofos were spending a lot.
Speaker 7: Of money in that, and my me and my friend like, basically, well,
Speaker 7: that's what I call my buddy who's like does codes
Speaker 7: and all.
Speaker 4: You know. He's like, you know, he's my real good friend.
Speaker 7: And I was like, hey, wote me through this, and
Speaker 7: I may be wrong because I don't understand, like I
Speaker 7: super don't fully understand some of the internet sometimes. I
Speaker 7: was like, but the way I understand real estate is
Speaker 7: it's worth money because there's only like one of it
Speaker 7: right in the whole world.
Speaker 4: So when you got it, that's you got. That's and
Speaker 4: if someone else wants it because it's what they want.
Speaker 3: They knew she was doing this.
Speaker 4: Her neighborhood. You need to cool it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, sorry sorry, and she had super cool
Speaker 1: highlights and.
Speaker 4: Just be nice.
Speaker 1: It's no judgment.
Speaker 3: I made eye contact.
Speaker 7: I was like, so, but the metaverse is something they
Speaker 7: can you know, it's infinite that they make up.
Speaker 4: So how can real estate be worth anything? He goes, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's not. He's like. I was like, so, he's like,
Speaker 4: there's just He's like.
Speaker 7: Some celebrities are just I was like, is it money laundering?
Speaker 7: He's like, I don't think it's even that. He's like,
Speaker 7: I think they're just getting ripped off. They're just paying
Speaker 7: for things that someone it's the idea.
Speaker 2: I think that people don't want to miss out on
Speaker 2: the next big Apple stock. Yeah, Steve Jobs, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Everyone has that idea. And then it's like, but what
Speaker 2: are you going to do? So you're going to fall
Speaker 2: for everything now because you're afraid that you won't be
Speaker 2: in on the ground floor of the thing that makes
Speaker 2: you millions.
Speaker 5: And I fear my character flaw is that I'm the
Speaker 5: opposite and I'm not open to learning anything new or
Speaker 5: that I already know you should know about.
Speaker 3: I just turned it away.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: The crypto thing worked out for me, okay, I guess
Speaker 5: because I was like, people were telling me to buy
Speaker 5: it just a year ago.
Speaker 4: I reckon that was.
Speaker 7: I used that like a like a slot machine, because
Speaker 7: that's the only thing that made sense to me, right
Speaker 7: because I was like, oh, you know, I'll put fifty
Speaker 7: dollars and then it'll go up to like two hundred
Speaker 7: sometimes and I'm like, hey, look, I made that much money.
Speaker 4: Take it out.
Speaker 7: Yeah, all the same fifty dollars back here, and then
Speaker 7: you go up and I'll take it out. And then
Speaker 7: some people were like, I bet ten thousand dollars and
Speaker 7: I lost fifteen thousand dollars?
Speaker 4: What would you do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: And everyone that I know that was talking about it,
Speaker 5: that had doubled their money is no longer talking about it.
Speaker 3: No, because they lost their five.
Speaker 1: They lost it all.
Speaker 4: No, I was never I was just like I viewed
Speaker 4: it like the Las Vegas Airport.
Speaker 2: You're a little drunk, and you're like, I don't given understand.
Speaker 4: The game, but I think I understand this game. And
Speaker 4: then when I get that.
Speaker 3: Much, I'll yeah, we're just go smoking and elevator.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, there's no rules in here.
Speaker 2: Look at this alley, classic classic alleys.
Speaker 4: To good alley to sprint through.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh, now I'm thinking of Cuba getting junior brother getting
Speaker 5: shot in the back.
Speaker 4: It seems like, yeah, similar, there's another.
Speaker 1: Alley in my hometown.
Speaker 2: When we had nothing to do on Friday and Saturday
Speaker 2: night in high school, we would drive up and down
Speaker 2: the alleys because they had really they were just like this,
Speaker 2: and it was like you try to drive fast and
Speaker 2: you try to beat the car that was going down
Speaker 2: the parallel alley, and it was like a whole thing
Speaker 2: we did that.
Speaker 3: Was in your hometown. Yeah, yeah, that's small town ship.
Speaker 4: That sounds fun.
Speaker 1: That's small town.
Speaker 5: Do you guys want to go driving alleys or going
Speaker 5: under the bridge downtown and watch people fight?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Both? If it's fun, Yeah both. You know what time
Speaker 4: were they fighting? Look?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's take all the alleys downtown. It'll be right
Speaker 3: in time for the eight pm fight time.
Speaker 2: And if the fight isn't good, we race down the
Speaker 2: alley's back and whoever pops their tire and a poddle
Speaker 2: will lose it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fight.
Speaker 4: Some of the call her dad, Billy Wayne?
Speaker 2: How can we How can our listeners watch you do
Speaker 2: stand up in real life? Which I would recommend is
Speaker 2: the number one way to experience Billy Wayne Davis.
Speaker 5: If you can't be friends, and you've been good, if
Speaker 5: I don't know if you're doing it or if someone's helping,
Speaker 5: you're really good. What I'm not good at, which is
Speaker 5: posting your content you regularly I see clips.
Speaker 4: Oh that's good because I don't think I am.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I'm they're going to me. Maybe I'm just
Speaker 5: part of your Hellia algorithm.
Speaker 4: Come to a show?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and where they go?
Speaker 7: I think that is like I think a lot of
Speaker 7: us a lot of the reels and stuff. It's just
Speaker 7: us showing other comedians. Yeah, we're getting a lot of views.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just stuff. We're all sitting in the back
Speaker 4: of the room and I was there when I you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so your phone knows you said my name in
Speaker 5: the green room and we're in on this set. Oh,
Speaker 5: I realized you were handing me your phone the last
Speaker 5: time I saw a clip.
Speaker 4: Or just like, how did you get booked in that room? Uh?
Speaker 4: Now I will.
Speaker 7: You can find me at BWD tour dot com. Is
Speaker 7: my website that it's just one page, and you just
Speaker 7: got all the links, got all the ship perfect you need.
Speaker 7: There's YouTube to my specials. There's a link to the
Speaker 7: bands in town where you can know where I'm going
Speaker 7: to be. And then there's the Instagram and x.
Speaker 3: Or whatever it is x Y that secretly happened the
Speaker 3: other day that was.
Speaker 4: It wasn't a secret. They're real annoying about it, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And real dumb about it.
Speaker 4: It's stupid.
Speaker 3: I think I think any updates on that.
Speaker 5: When I see it, I just let a high pitched
Speaker 5: ring tone overtake my brain and I don't listen, and
Speaker 5: so I'm acting surprised about it.
Speaker 2: Did you guys see when he put the big flashing
Speaker 2: X on top of his bids going it had to
Speaker 2: come down like a.
Speaker 3: Day later because he doesn't ask permission.
Speaker 7: Well, that's great marketing, if we're being honest. True, it's
Speaker 7: brilliant promotion because everyone's like, look what dick Haad did,
Speaker 7: and then it's loud and it bugs everyone, and then
Speaker 7: the next day you're like, yeah, we're planning I can
Speaker 7: do anyway.
Speaker 4: We knew he is smart about that stuff.
Speaker 2: He's not good the word or is he just doing
Speaker 2: it and then benefiting from the fact that there's no
Speaker 2: such thing as bad promotion?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: Because he's not smart? Is so generous?
Speaker 4: I think, well, I think he is clever.
Speaker 7: I'm not trying to give him any credit at all,
Speaker 7: but I do think where his strength is is promoting.
Speaker 7: Mm hmm right, So I do think that, like like
Speaker 7: that weirdo Peter Thiel, he's probably he's listening.
Speaker 4: Oh he's my uncle, okay, cool, can I borrow all
Speaker 4: the money?
Speaker 3: And uh?
Speaker 7: But he I read one of his books because I
Speaker 7: like to know what evil people like that think, yes, sure,
Speaker 7: or you know what they're up to? Because if you
Speaker 7: watch movies, they'll tell you, and he kind of does.
Speaker 7: But he talked about Elon's like true gift is promotion.
Speaker 7: And this was before any of this nonsense, when people
Speaker 7: thought he was like kind of smart. Yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 7: like Peter Thield back then was like his thing is
Speaker 7: like he's good at promotion.
Speaker 4: He's not like an engineering genius.
Speaker 3: Right. He was saying this just when he was the
Speaker 3: car guy.
Speaker 7: Yes, right, yeah, before it was like you know, evident
Speaker 7: that like, oh there's something wrong with him, like he's
Speaker 7: not good at this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's still people I know that I love and
Speaker 3: respect that aren't done that this is. I know. I
Speaker 3: think he sat down and just walk.
Speaker 4: I can walk to my house.
Speaker 1: Is it the next block or is it just up here?
Speaker 7: It's no, okay, I can see where this could happen
Speaker 7: because it's not. It's turned right.
Speaker 4: I get confused at the BA and you'll see why
Speaker 4: you're confused.
Speaker 3: That was that was your house if nothing had ever
Speaker 3: been done to kind of Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was like I was like, well, yeah, I like
Speaker 1: a front porchain.
Speaker 4: No, they're interesting. Is there's a oh I see see why?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And yeah you were like you yeah, like so close yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, huh you were laterally exactly in the
Speaker 3: same spot though.
Speaker 7: Oh let me okay here can we end on this question? Yes, okay,
Speaker 7: see that tree in front of my house.
Speaker 4: Yeah, see right here?
Speaker 3: Yeah, right there?
Speaker 7: Okay, I think that's our tree. I don't know how
Speaker 7: it works because it's like, you know, on the other
Speaker 7: side of the sidewalk yep, but it also hangs over
Speaker 7: those guys driveway right, and I know it hits their
Speaker 7: car and shit right, but they've never asked me to
Speaker 7: trim it. I've thought to trim it a couple times
Speaker 7: and then just didn't do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: What I know about property is that little patch of
Speaker 5: grass beyond the sidewalk Actually isn't your responsibility. It's the cities.
Speaker 5: But no one's going to come and do it. But
Speaker 5: you could do just as a being nice neighbor.
Speaker 2: I guess no, you can't really, if it's anything like
Speaker 2: or I used to live in Burbank, you cannot touch
Speaker 2: the trees. So if you could call three one one
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, this tree needs to Mary k Blige.
Speaker 4: Does she answer because I will call it her every day.
Speaker 2: But because I had this gigantic camphor tree, in front
Speaker 2: of my house, and I was like, it's my tree,
Speaker 2: blah blah blah, and they were like, never touch this,
Speaker 2: you'll get fined, You'll get blah blah blah, like never
Speaker 2: do anything to this tree.
Speaker 1: So I would imagine that's kind of the.
Speaker 2: Rule, or people would be fucking around in these trees
Speaker 2: all the time and then sucking the tree.
Speaker 4: We cut one down in the back on your property.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 4: Okay, right right, I ask, did it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's your just from being yelled at skateboarding things,
Speaker 5: getting in trouble friends that have done little d y
Speaker 5: skate things. That's how I know that that is not
Speaker 5: technically your property when it's like a patch.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 4: I love but maybe I'm wrong. I love civil a little,
Speaker 4: like now you can't touche.
Speaker 2: You know what's super funny though, Okay, one morning I
Speaker 2: was making coffee blah blah blah. I hear ring ring
Speaker 2: on the doorbell. I look out, there's a cop at
Speaker 2: my door. I'm like, thank god, I wasn't just getting high.
Speaker 3: I go because it was back when that would matter.
Speaker 1: Well, just I yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 4: Want to be like ill, I'm not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 4: But also what the.
Speaker 1: I'm freaking out.
Speaker 3: Your mustache is so weird right now.
Speaker 2: And he did look like the folk singer, uh is
Speaker 2: it Robbie Folks, the tall Robbie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Americana guy.
Speaker 2: Anyway, it was like a tall kind of like he
Speaker 2: looked like he was from Iowa, but he was a
Speaker 2: bourbank cop. And the sprinkler something had happened and the
Speaker 2: sprinkler had been broken off, so there was like a
Speaker 2: minor like sprinkler flood situation happening on that same little patch.
Speaker 1: And he was like, yeah, this is your responsibility. And
Speaker 1: I was like, that's weird because I'm not allowed to
Speaker 1: touch that tree. And he goes, I know, anyway, you
Speaker 1: got to call somebody to fix it. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: I'm a burbank cop, so I don't do anything.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm just informing you of what you do
Speaker 1: and don't have to take care.
Speaker 5: I wish there was a three one one for four,
Speaker 5: one one for three one one where you could just
Speaker 5: get this information. Actually right now it is a good
Speaker 5: time to let all our listeners know call before you dig.
Speaker 3: Isn't nice underground wires. Sorry, I have to go through this.
Speaker 5: Billy underground lines will come and be marked and no
Speaker 5: more needless outages and also you could be injured, so
Speaker 5: call before you dig.
Speaker 3: That's four one one dash three one one. No more
Speaker 3: electrocuted uncles.
Speaker 4: This has been brought to you by the Shine Camp.
Speaker 4: You've got a friend in the jew.
Speaker 1: You're gonna like the way you look.
Speaker 4: Have you guys ever noticed this? And I will leave
Speaker 4: your corn?
Speaker 3: No? I love this.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I like it when we're like the Burbank cops
Speaker 7: or like like there's certain like municipal when you're in
Speaker 7: the sud little cities where you're just like, oh did
Speaker 7: you doin like the LAPD and you're like this is scary,
Speaker 7: and they're like, yeah, you need to got to be
Speaker 7: a cop and yelling at teenagers and yep, yep, make
Speaker 7: sure people get out of ike.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah, we were Me.
Speaker 2: And my friend Vicky were crossing the street one morning
Speaker 2: and it was we used to walk before work and
Speaker 2: so it was literally just around my neighborhood and we
Speaker 2: were walking to Starbucks like at five am, like it
Speaker 2: was probably like six am or something.
Speaker 3: I never person.
Speaker 1: It was good. It was like it helped our stress. Sure,
Speaker 1: but we decided to cross against the light because there
Speaker 1: was literally no traffic and it was on riverside, so
Speaker 1: it was not too smart, but it was like there
Speaker 1: was no traffic coming from either direction at all.
Speaker 2: So we're like, we're just gonna run across the street.
Speaker 2: Suddenly there's this motor motorcycle cop coming across.
Speaker 1: And he's like, go back, go back, and does this
Speaker 1: whole thing.
Speaker 2: He pulls up and we're both standing on the sidewalk
Speaker 2: and immediately I have some problems with authority and and
Speaker 2: like I'm either completely like, oh my god, I'm so
Speaker 2: scared or I'm about to start saying some ship and
Speaker 2: getting in trouble. And because this guy was so fucking
Speaker 2: he's like, do you know how many people we have
Speaker 2: to wipe.
Speaker 4: Up off the road that crossing in the morning?
Speaker 1: Yes, and in Bourbank where I'm like, sir, are you
Speaker 1: fucking kidding me? People?
Speaker 4: How many?
Speaker 3: Tell me?
Speaker 1: Give you the give me the numbers? It was so
Speaker 1: weird to you.
Speaker 4: Oh, this is perfect for my podcast.
Speaker 3: A good looking electric I'm gonna get one that's pretty nice. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't like the back, Sorry, what were you gonna say?
Speaker 4: You can fix it?
Speaker 3: Back?
Speaker 4: Literally, Santa Monica cops. You know what I mean. That's
Speaker 4: that's a good Malibu has cops.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's cool with cars that say Malibu on the side.
Speaker 5: There's a palm tree in the I.
Speaker 4: Mean, I'm sure it's the most annoying calls ever, like
Speaker 4: this bitch won't never car.
Speaker 3: My neighbor's horse, dent my surf.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or it's just a bunch of women accusing they're
Speaker 1: made of things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of that.
Speaker 4: Kind of It's still my necklace, which one this one
Speaker 4: I'm wearing, ma'am?
Speaker 1: How many pills are you on?
Speaker 4: All of them? It's all day. I get to I
Speaker 4: live on the beach and I'm not allowed to go
Speaker 4: on the water.
Speaker 6: Myhusband said no, no, no, no, and then it says
Speaker 6: like no water until my face heels it is.
Speaker 7: It is a different what's weird about Malibu is like
Speaker 7: it's money from all over. It's not like a type
Speaker 7: like certain neighborhoods here. You're like, well, if you get
Speaker 7: this much money and you want to be this type,
Speaker 7: you go there. Yeah, and then Malibu is just like, oh,
Speaker 7: it's a free for all. It's just like you got
Speaker 7: a bunch of money, you can live here, and they
Speaker 7: don't go together.
Speaker 4: No one hangs out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're all just hidden and on their beaches where
Speaker 5: you're not allowed to walk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it. It is my goal.
Speaker 7: It's one of the first places I've ever been in
Speaker 7: the world where I was like, oh, I get well,
Speaker 7: this costs a lot of money.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is awesome.
Speaker 3: And that's what you're trying to do with your street.
Speaker 7: If I'm not mistakes, I'm just gonna wipe it all
Speaker 7: out and just make it a beat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Your house looks great, you're doing great. I'm glad your
Speaker 5: son skates.
Speaker 4: I'm not leaving what you're doing.
Speaker 3: And not to sound conclusionary, just say you give me
Speaker 3: the light.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, four more stories, some cigarettes. I'm about today.
Speaker 4: You should pail this.
Speaker 3: No, we're gonna get this car. I just want to
Speaker 3: say it's been nice having you on this episode.
Speaker 1: Wait, he's dragging a stool over here.
Speaker 3: You just put on sunglasses and set up a spotlight.
Speaker 3: Thanks for being on, buddy, You're hilarious.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having any time you guys on a roll
Speaker 4: through that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, great to see you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I mean at this time you've been listening
Speaker 5: tod Do you need a ride one more thing.
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2: Produced by Annalise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choy. Our talent
Speaker 2: booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 3: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you both.
Speaker 3: You're welcome