WEBVTT - Season 3 Appetizer

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, Rebel Eaters, We're launching season three so soon. This

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<v Speaker 1>season we're focusing on tools, tools for dating, tools to

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<v Speaker 1>help you reconnect to nature and exactly the body. You have,

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<v Speaker 1>tools to help raise a kid with a positive relationship

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<v Speaker 1>to food, and we ask you to send in your questions.

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<v Speaker 1>You had so many good ones, and one of the

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<v Speaker 1>episodes this season, I feel that that with my good friend,

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<v Speaker 1>an anti diet crusader, Isabel Fox and Duke and I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to share a taste, a snack, an appetizer if

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<v Speaker 1>you will, of that episode with you. So here's a

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<v Speaker 1>question that one of you sent in that really made

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<v Speaker 1>me smile. This person says, I want more fat friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes I'll see a fat babe and I think that

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<v Speaker 1>I want to be friends with them, but I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to approach it without saying, Hi, I notice

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<v Speaker 1>that you're fat and I want to hang out with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have any advice about how I can start

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<v Speaker 1>building relationships with more fat folks? I will say I

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<v Speaker 1>have a little bit of extra information. I do know

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<v Speaker 1>this person is also a fat person, so I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to ask them. They're looking for community, so I have

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<v Speaker 1>some thoughts, which is like, first, I want to say, like,

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<v Speaker 1>I love this energy. I think fat community is so important.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so valuable when you're a fat person to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to sort of have I mean, anybody you share

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<v Speaker 1>an identity with or some part of your background with.

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<v Speaker 1>There's almost like an intimacy that's sort of baked into

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<v Speaker 1>the exchange, which can be so nice. And especially when

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<v Speaker 1>you're constantly doing labor, if you're a marginalized person, it

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<v Speaker 1>can be nice to not have to explain or you

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<v Speaker 1>have a shorthand that you can kind of share with somebody.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, I think important. So I'm going to put

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<v Speaker 1>that as like the overall sort of you know, the vibe.

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<v Speaker 1>But I want to say, in terms of strategy, I

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<v Speaker 1>personally always gauge where that person is at about being

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<v Speaker 1>fat first, Like, so I have to figure out, like,

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<v Speaker 1>is this a conversion situation where I'm gonna try Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I don't even know, Yeah right, they could not

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<v Speaker 1>be fat positive actually a hundred statistical likelihood that they

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<v Speaker 1>are not. Yeah right, So I got I want to

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<v Speaker 1>like gauge, right, and then I'm like, are they am

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<v Speaker 1>I converting? Do I want to Is that okay? Do

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<v Speaker 1>they consent to this right, and or they already on board,

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<v Speaker 1>And I think what's cool is you get to make

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<v Speaker 1>the call on how much work you want to put

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<v Speaker 1>into it. Like I'm the kind of person who like,

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm looking for fat community, I'm looking for fat

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<v Speaker 1>fat positive community. Yeah. Like that's what I mean when

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<v Speaker 1>I say that, Right, you get to make the call

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<v Speaker 1>on how much work you want to do and put

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<v Speaker 1>into it. And I've had situations backfire when I've been

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<v Speaker 1>like I can convert. I think there's home and then

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<v Speaker 1>they're actually there's none, and I've just spent like ho

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<v Speaker 1>hours weeks arguing with another fat person. Yeah. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I will say though, I have a fat friend who's

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<v Speaker 1>fat positive. She is an expert at converting. She's also

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<v Speaker 1>like she's like an organizer, so she like converts people

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<v Speaker 1>on everything from like anti capitalism. She converts people to feminism.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like literally converted this entire group of like regular

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<v Speaker 1>as stratement into like some kind of women supporting like

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<v Speaker 1>support network that they meet monthly or whatever. So she's like,

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<v Speaker 1>really good. I'm like, if you're like that magician, that's

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<v Speaker 1>your superpower, go for it. Otherwise I would say go

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<v Speaker 1>for someone who seems like and I would say, signs

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<v Speaker 1>that they're on the same page, signs like they look.

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<v Speaker 1>Start to look for the clues, like, because I think

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<v Speaker 1>fat positive people flag in certain ways through gestures that

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<v Speaker 1>they're fat positives. That might be clothing, Yeah, it might

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<v Speaker 1>be how they talk about stuff. If they're already political

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<v Speaker 1>about other things, it's likelier that they'll be political about this.

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<v Speaker 1>I know of many fat folks who don't necessarily identify

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<v Speaker 1>as political, but who just are living their best lives

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<v Speaker 1>in their own body and they're just not participating a

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<v Speaker 1>diet culture and it's not necessarily political. It's just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of who they are. I think, like a good portion

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<v Speaker 1>of my friends at this point in my life are

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<v Speaker 1>just they're not they're not necessarily political, but they're also

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<v Speaker 1>just not dieters, right, Like I just don't hang with

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<v Speaker 1>dieters really anymore. Yeah, I mean, one hundred once you

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<v Speaker 1>kind of aren't doing it. It's a very specific vibe

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<v Speaker 1>that you don't want to super be around. Um, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's just in my experience, but I think

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<v Speaker 1>also my last two tips are like, it's okay to

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<v Speaker 1>sort of learn how to start a friendship reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to but he asked them to coffee. I do that

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<v Speaker 1>all the time enough, I feel a little sparkle. Ye'll

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<v Speaker 1>just be like, do you want to get coffee? I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even think about it anymore. I'm just like do it?

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<v Speaker 1>Just ask yeah, Dad. I think the last thing that

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<v Speaker 1>my last tip is, you know, always be recruiting a

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<v Speaker 1>br Always be recruiting, which like create situations. I mean

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<v Speaker 1>my producer was like, you know, maybe they could start

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<v Speaker 1>their own rebel eaters club, or maybe you could have

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<v Speaker 1>like some kind of an anti diet. Like I mean this,

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<v Speaker 1>like if you're on a college campus or you're somewhere where,

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<v Speaker 1>like you have a coworking space, you can create a

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<v Speaker 1>little group and those people will self select and that

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<v Speaker 1>could be your posse potentially, like letting a large a

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<v Speaker 1>group of people know they can opt into a situation

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<v Speaker 1>where y'all could be friends. And I think that's a

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<v Speaker 1>very smart move, right, It's really I mean, ultimately, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like really just a question of like how do I

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<v Speaker 1>make friends with somebody I want to be friends with? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>And that is all about just putting yourself out there

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<v Speaker 1>and just you know, you get to decide if it's

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<v Speaker 1>not weird, Yeah, one hundred percent und I love my

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<v Speaker 1>friend Isabel and real talk. Rebel Eaters Club is a

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<v Speaker 1>bit like having a whole buffet of excellent new friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Season three comes out on May third. Listen wherever you

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<v Speaker 1>get your podcasts.