1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: It is just straw. Very thank you enough you subject. 3 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:10,039 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and boss are about to brawl. Here's Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: I recently got a great government job. I love my 5 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: new job and I make really good money. But I'm 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: having a big problem with my new boss. My boss 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: calls my cell phone at night and on the weekend, 8 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: and he sends me text messages of a sexual nature. 9 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: He pops by my office daily and says all types 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: of perverted things to me. I've told him that his 11 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: comments are offensive and that he's out of line with 12 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: his sexual advances. I told him that um, I live 13 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend and that my boyfriend has seen his 14 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: text messages. It's as if my boss doesn't care because 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:51,480 Speaker 1: he continues to act inappropriately. My boyfriend wants to confront him, 16 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: but I begged him not to because I love and 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: need my new job. I have stopped telling my boyfriend 18 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: because he gets so mad that I'm afraid he might 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: pop up at my job one day. My boyfriend now 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: thinks I have something to hide since I won't let 21 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: him confront my boss. I'm afraid of reporting my boss 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: because I feel like once I do, it will be 23 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: living It will be a living hell for me at work. 24 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: I know I can't be the first woman or the 25 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: only woman. He's done this too. By the way, my 26 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: boss is the director of human resources, So who's going 27 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:29,199 Speaker 1: to check him? Yeah? How should I handle this? Please? Help? Well? Um, wow, 28 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: Like Steve said, I was going to tell you to 29 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 1: go to human resources, human resources immediately, But since he's 30 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: the head of the uh the human resources department, what 31 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: good will that do? But surely there's someone above him. 32 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: There's an owner, there's a CEO, there's someone you can 33 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: confide in and let them know what's going on. You 34 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: cannot continually deal with this. I mean to think that 35 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: he would even be doing this in the middle of 36 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: the me Too movement. I mean, doesn't he read the papers? 37 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: Doesn't he watch TV? That is so major that's going 38 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: on right now. Finally women have started to come forth. 39 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: They have the courage after years of suffering and being 40 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: disrespected on the job between lecturer's boss by lecturer's bosses 41 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: like him, to speak out. Uh. You know, it's men 42 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: like him that are keeping this movement alive. It's not 43 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: going anywhere. I get that you love your job and 44 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: you want to keep it. You make good money and 45 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: all that, it's a good government job. But his behavior 46 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: has to be stopped. You have to report him to 47 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: someone and something has to be done. Uh, he can't 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: be the director of human resources and act like this. 49 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,399 Speaker 1: I mean, this is ridiculous. Who owns you, well, who 50 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: owns your company? You work for a government, You have 51 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: a government job. But surely your boss has a boss. 52 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: So I would go talk to him. I would try 53 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: and talk to some of the other females that work 54 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 1: there and see if this has happened to them, maybe 55 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: presently or in the past, and you know, see if 56 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: you can get support support behind you to deal with 57 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: this situation, because, uh, this has to be stopped. And 58 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: as far as your boyfriend goes, I would tell him 59 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: what's going on. I would not keep it from him. Steve, Well, 60 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: it's an interesting way to approach this letter. My boyfriend 61 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 1: and boss are about to brawl. See, your boss calls 62 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: your cell phone at night and on weekends. He sent 63 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: me texas of a sexual nature, pops by my office daily, 64 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: says all types of perverted things to me. I've told 65 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: him his comments are offensive and he's out of line 66 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: with his sexual advances. I told him I live with 67 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and my boyfriend has seen his Texas And 68 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: it's as if my boss doesn't care because he continues 69 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,839 Speaker 1: to act inappropriate. First of all, you could take all 70 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: these texts, all your phone calls logs. The HR department 71 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: is a separate department. I assume I haven't had one 72 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: of those jobs a long time, but HR on my 73 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: jobs is a separate department. Someone is the boss in 74 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: that department that's separate and away from the HR department. 75 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: You have to report this or else you're gonna live 76 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 1: like so many people. So many women are forced to 77 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: live in fear of losing their job, threatening uncomfortable work atmosphere. 78 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 1: He comes to man just because he wants to say 79 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: something to you. He thinks he can. Now nobody wants 80 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: to go to work like that. Now, you don't want 81 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: your boyfriend to say nothing because you need your job. 82 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: But your boyfriend he getting mad. He want to talk 83 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: to the dude. So now, in a short response to 84 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: your letter, you say, it's as if my boss doesn't care. 85 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: I say, let your boyfriend go down. Now, come on, 86 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: we have to help him care. Yeah. Yeah, see that's 87 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: what's wrong right here, your boss. He doesn't seem care. 88 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: Your boyfriend can help him care. M and I and 89 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: I and I think that's gonna have to happen any 90 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: retaliation from losing your job. You have all these texts, 91 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 1: you have a call log, all these calls on the 92 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: weekend inappropriate. You know what you should start doing. You 93 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: should start recording him on your cell phone when he 94 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: comes in the office. Say hold on one second, let 95 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: me get off this call, and then press your record 96 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: device and set it down on the piece of paper 97 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: and just let him go and choke herself, because that's 98 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: what he's gonna do. But you can stop this. You 99 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: have the text messages, you have the phone calls he's 100 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: made to you, You have your asking him to stop. 101 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: You don't need to have proof that you've asked him 102 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: to stop. The fact that he's calling you already is inappropriate, 103 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: and he's in the supervisory capacity. It's just inappropriate. So 104 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: now you have all evidence. But I got you don't 105 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: want to lose your job, but you're gonna mess what 106 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: I lose, your man, and continue to go to work 107 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: on the job where you're being in a in essence harass. Yeah, 108 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: I think you should take the copies of all these things, 109 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: keep a recket of everything. Next time you see him 110 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,919 Speaker 1: come in your office, act like you're grabbing your cell phone, 111 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: say hold on, press your record. But yeah, and then 112 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: let's get the whip in that ass. Uh and let 113 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 1: you for our friend talk to him. Yeah, can he 114 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: come up there and work on and do I would see, 115 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: but I can't tell other people do that. I'm gonna 116 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 1: do it, though. M See. What you're not gonna do 117 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: is be talking to my girl crazy. Yeah. This this 118 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: is definitely a form of harassment for sure, and she 119 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: definitely she needs to report it. Yeah, you know me, 120 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: I don't got this website. Ride down there dot com. 121 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: I telling you man, and uh, we just I down 122 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: there and handle it for yourself. Open, you know, just 123 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 1: small fee. Come on with part two of your response 124 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: to today's Strawberry Letters subject my boyfriend and boss are 125 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: about to brawl. Let's recap because this woman has his 126 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: boss this in HR department who calls her cell phone 127 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: at night and on weekends. Since text messages of the 128 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: sexual nature pops my mo office daily, says all types 129 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: of perverted things to me. I've told him his comments 130 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: are offens him. He's out of line with the sexual 131 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: advances that you have told me. You live with your boyfriend, 132 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: and your boyfriend seen his Texas, But it's as if 133 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: my boss doesn't care because he continues to act inappropriately. 134 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: The solution I have come up with at the end 135 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: of the day is very simple. You have to let 136 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: your boyfriend go down there so that your boyfriend so 137 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: we can help him care. Wait, wait, you know I 138 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: don't care. He needs help with his caring. Yeah, he 139 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: doesn't care. We need help to start caring. But on huh, 140 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: when he's sending this sexual stuff on these phones, can 141 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: I take her phone and send him a little something back? Yes? Yeah, 142 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: you here go my pit. Yeah. Hello, Oh we're showing parts. 143 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: We'll check me out. We got parts, just me. We're 144 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: sending this little thing over here. Put ride down there 145 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: dot com. Yeah we do at the office. We do that, 146 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 1: you know what, man? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, see, we do 147 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: stuff to help you. Yeah. She needs to let him 148 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: know stop not telling him and keep him informed. But 149 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: you got to report this guy to his superior. He 150 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: has where your job gonna be living hell? But ain't 151 00:08:51,880 --> 00:09:00,040 Speaker 1: it living hell nothing. Yeah, this is crazy, and you 152 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: all right, this is not the first time he's done that. Now, 153 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: I would be careful about spreading it around the office 154 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: because somebody might be in with him and take it 155 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: to him m hm, and they can start planning stuff 156 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: to help get rid of you another way. So I 157 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: don't think you need that. You don't need a lot 158 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: of help. All you gotta do is be the one 159 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: with the facts, the text, the inappropriate sexual nature of 160 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: the text, and report it. He ain't gonna be able 161 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: to show none. And you're responding back to him in 162 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: a sexual way of making any advances, so he's at 163 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: fault and he'll have to go. Yes, you're listening to