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Speaker 1: Hey, this is em this is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: story Time podcast hosts, and we got.

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Speaker 2: Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 1: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: My wife met someone online.

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Speaker 1: Their relationship became too much.

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Speaker 2: Like too much for you everyone to be involved and like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate those room for you. OPI. So my

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Speaker 1: wife and I have been together for ten years and

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Speaker 1: married for five years. We all have to work pretty

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Speaker 1: normal nine to five type jobs, own a home, and

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Speaker 1: have no kids, so we don't have a lot of

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Speaker 1: stressors of a normal marriage. I guess you could say,

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Speaker 1: by the way this comes from.

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Speaker 2: Throw it and if you want usbit your own stories, go.

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Speaker 1: Do the r slash okay story Time. So I wrote it.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 1: I love my wife dearly and I can't imagine life

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Speaker 1: without her. I feel that I am very good to

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Speaker 1: her and love her in every way possible. I am kind, considerate, supportive,

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Speaker 1: and never put her down in any way. He's beautiful

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Speaker 1: and smart, and I am incredibly lucky to be married

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Speaker 1: to her. The spark and adoration of a new marriage

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Speaker 1: are still there. Hundred percent for me. At least she

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Speaker 1: loves me too, I think, but I sometimes feel she's

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Speaker 1: tired of me, or that she fakes happiness when she's

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Speaker 1: around me. The spark seems to be gone for her,

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Speaker 1: and she seems bored with day to day married life.

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Speaker 2: I guess.

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Speaker 1: I try to plan fun things with her, and we

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Speaker 1: always make a point to go out in a little

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Speaker 1: day at least once a week. But now onto the

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Speaker 1: root of the problem. Within the last year and a half,

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Speaker 1: she found a new gaming hobby. I won't get too

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Speaker 1: much into specifics, but apparently, and previously unbeknowst to me,

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Speaker 1: this hobby has a pretty big online community. She started

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Speaker 1: spending a good bit of time on this new hobby

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Speaker 1: and I didn't really think anything of it. She was

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Speaker 1: having fun. I even built her a new computer when

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Speaker 1: she asked her one, so that she can have more

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Speaker 1: fun with it. I think two giant problems have stemmed

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Speaker 1: from this. She is now spending so much time on

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Speaker 1: this hobby that I feel she neglects our relationship and

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Speaker 1: her own well being. Even though she has to be

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Speaker 1: up at six am for work, she'll stay up till

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Speaker 1: one or two am playing and then complain that she

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good or that she's tired all the time.

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Speaker 1: We used to go to bed together at about ten

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Speaker 1: to eleven PM, and we used to do a lot

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Speaker 1: of things together. It was great for last year or so.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we've gone to bed at the same

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Speaker 1: time even once. I try to get her to come

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Speaker 1: to bed with me, but she refuses, saying that she's

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Speaker 1: going to stay up a while longer. Side note, As

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Speaker 1: you can imagine, this has unlive the intimacy in the relationship.

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Speaker 1: We've only had spicy sleep once in the last year.

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Speaker 1: It was at one time in a relationship at least

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Speaker 1: once a week. If I wake up at one am

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Speaker 1: to use the bathroom and she's still gaming, I walk

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Speaker 1: out to tell her to come to bed and that

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Speaker 1: being up too late is bad for her. She gets

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Speaker 1: irritated with me and says she's not tired, even though

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Speaker 1: I know she is based on her complaints. The next day,

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Speaker 1: she says, I'm being controlling. I really don't think that

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Speaker 1: telling my wife to come to bed so she can

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Speaker 1: get at least four hours of sleep is controlling. She's

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Speaker 1: an adult, she proclaims she is, and she should be

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Speaker 1: responsible enough to take care of herself, but she refuses

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Speaker 1: to do so. I don't know how to get around

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Speaker 1: this without her getting upset. I honestly think there may

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Speaker 1: be some addictive, flash obsessive component at work here. She

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Speaker 1: started to become real life friends with some of the

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Speaker 1: peace from the gaming community. There's nothing wrong with that

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Speaker 1: by itself. Friends are good to have. A lot of

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Speaker 1: the people in the gaming community are guys. There's nothing

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Speaker 1: strictly wrong with her having guy friends either. However, I

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Speaker 1: think that one of the new friendships has become incredibly inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: This guy happens to be local around our age. They

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Speaker 1: text each other all the time, probably over seventy five

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Speaker 1: messages a day. Sometimes most of it is relatively harmless

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Speaker 1: and just chit chat related to worker games. However, a

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Speaker 1: while back, she started complaining about me to Steve, primarily

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Speaker 1: about me telling her not to stay up so late.

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Speaker 1: She even told Steve that she sometimes wishes she wasn't married,

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Speaker 1: and spilled her guts about the things she doesn't like

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Speaker 1: about me, how I'm an introvert and don't like to

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Speaker 1: be around big groups of people, don't like to be uplate,

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Speaker 1: et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Now that the name is Steve.

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Speaker 4: I've just noticed one hundred percent minecraft Now this is

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Speaker 4: the moment where you go and I let go of this.

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Speaker 4: Now I like goal of this relationship because she's venting

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Speaker 4: to a local single man in your area about how

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Speaker 4: she does doesn't like me anymore.

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Speaker 1: Steve, who I've only met in person a few times,

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Speaker 1: had no words of encouragement for the marriage, instead telling

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Speaker 1: her take the path that makes her happy. He then

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Speaker 1: and on to talk about how he was previously married

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Speaker 1: and is now divorced, so on and so forth. His

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Speaker 1: language with her got really soupy at that point, and

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Speaker 1: he told her that he cared very deeply for her

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Speaker 1: and that he just wants her to be happy. I

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Speaker 1: discovered all this when I got on the computer one

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Speaker 1: day and her chat window was still open. Perhaps it

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Speaker 1: was wrong of me to read it, but I was

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Speaker 1: pretty suspicious of this guy at this point, and I

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Speaker 1: confronted her about it, and she, without much emotion, told

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Speaker 1: me that she was frustrated about some of the things

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Speaker 1: in our relationship and that she and Steve were just friends.

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Speaker 1: I told her that this language makes it incredibly obvious

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Speaker 1: that he has feelings for her. I asked her to

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Speaker 1: confront him about it. He did, and he admitted that

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Speaker 1: he is struggling with himself because he likes her as

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Speaker 1: much more than a friend. I told her it was

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Speaker 1: incredibly inappropriate and that he shouldn't even allow himself to

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Speaker 1: get to that point. I told her that I don't

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Speaker 1: like him, and I don't think it's appropriate for them

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Speaker 1: to spend time together anymore. She assured me that I

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Speaker 1: have nothing to worry about and played the don't you

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Speaker 1: trust me?

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Speaker 3: Card.

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Speaker 1: I told her that I don't think they should see

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Speaker 1: each other one on one in private anymore, which they

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Speaker 1: had been doing once a week to play games at

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Speaker 1: our house when I was at work. Once again, she

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Speaker 1: told me that I had nothing to worry about, that

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Speaker 1: nothing inappropriate had happened, and that nothing inappropriate would happen.

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Speaker 1: I believe her when she says nothing physically inappropriate has happened.

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Speaker 1: Making an effort to not be controlling, I relented, and

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Speaker 1: they have spent more time together since that discussion. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: they continue to chat like crazy all day and night.

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Speaker 1: She stays up way too late, and even when Steve

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Speaker 1: tells her to go to sleep, he just says that

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Speaker 1: she really likes talking to him. I feel like she's

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Speaker 1: trying to hide that from me.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 1: I still have her Facebook login though, and read back

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Speaker 1: through her conversations with him. Say what you will about that,

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Speaker 1: but I have a dang good reason to be doing so.

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Speaker 1: The conversations are mostly harmless still, but there's still some

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Speaker 1: cause for concern. They were having a somewhat silly conversation

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Speaker 1: one day and my wife said I love you with

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Speaker 1: a sort of heart slash smiley emoticon thing. He wrote

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Speaker 1: that he loved her back.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 1: I know that l word is thirn around a lot

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Speaker 1: these days. Holy heck, is it inappropriate to say, even

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Speaker 1: casually and as a friend to someone that has admitted

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Speaker 1: that he has feelings for her? I mean, I still

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Speaker 1: can't believe it. I still haven't confronted her about this part.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward though, to this weekend. My wife is going

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Speaker 1: out to lunch with her mom. I told them I

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Speaker 1: would leave them alone so they could have a girl's

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Speaker 1: day out. Turns out they are not having a girl's

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Speaker 1: day out. My wife invited Steve to go out to

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Speaker 1: lunch with them, and did it say a thing about

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Speaker 1: it to me? I directly asked her after plans were

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Speaker 1: set in Stone with Steve if it would just be

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Speaker 1: her and her mom, and she avoided the question twice.

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Speaker 1: Early in her chat with Steve, she also told him

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Speaker 1: that she's very open with her mom and had talked

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Speaker 1: to her about him. And this is really eating away

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Speaker 1: at me. Even if I haven't been physically cheated on,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I am being emotionally cheated on over

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Speaker 1: and over again. I love my wife so very much,

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Speaker 1: and I would be destroyed if we weren't able to

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Speaker 1: be together. I want to fix this, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know how. Every time I might try to talk to her,

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Speaker 1: she clams up and barely says a thing. Then she

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Speaker 1: acts emotionally distant afterward, and I feel like talking to

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Speaker 1: her about the problem just pushes her away and makes

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Speaker 1: her upset with me. I have proclaimed, with tears streaming

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Speaker 1: down my face, our relationship with Steve makes me feel

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Speaker 1: and she just doesn't seem to get it. She won't

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Speaker 1: end her relationship with Steve, even knowing just how upset

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Speaker 1: it makes me. I love her more than anything and

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Speaker 1: I want to be with her forever, but this is

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Speaker 1: tearing me apart. I don't know what to do. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to give her a hymn or me ultimatum,

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Speaker 1: partly because I know that will make her angry slash upset,

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Speaker 1: and partly because I'm afraid of what she might choose.

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Speaker 1: Even if she chooses me, I think she may become

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Speaker 1: even more secretive about her relationship with him. I could

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Speaker 1: attack from a different angle and tell Steve to stay

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Speaker 1: the heck away from her. I don't think he's very

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Speaker 1: strong willed, and I think he just might stay away

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Speaker 1: or at least try to distance himself. Then again, he

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Speaker 1: might share my message with her and make her even

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Speaker 1: more upset with me, or he might try to retaliate

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Speaker 1: and try to become closer to her, though this last

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Speaker 1: thing seems unlikely. I honestly think my wife sees her

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Speaker 1: relationship with Steve as a healthy best friend relationship and

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Speaker 1: sees nothing wrong with it. I should also say that

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Speaker 1: my wife is a very poor social barometer. She doesn't

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Speaker 1: pick up body language or other nonverbal cues very well,

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Speaker 1: and she's not good at reading between the lines. I'm

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Speaker 1: no ultra conservative guy socially speaking, but I think their

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Speaker 1: relationship is highly inappropriate because of the way it affects

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Speaker 1: our marriage, and that neither of them have done anything

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Speaker 1: to move it in a different direction. I sometimes feel

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Speaker 1: like she's bored of me. At any moment, she might

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Speaker 1: just start to have real feelings back towards Steve. Whether

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Speaker 1: she intends to or not, it might just happen. I

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Speaker 1: think we should see a marriage counselor, but I'm afraid

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Speaker 1: she might clam up in front of a marriage counselor too,

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Speaker 1: or just refuse to go. I can't write any more

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Speaker 1: for now. I guess I just want a reality check here,

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Speaker 1: and I am sure Redda is going to give this

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Speaker 1: guy the most polite reality check ever, right, Yeah, sure,

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Speaker 1: Redditch known for being very meterred in its responses. I

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Speaker 1: want to know what other people would do in my shoes.

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Speaker 1: There is an update.

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Speaker 2: Sofia, can you actually go to this post and see

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Speaker 2: what the top comment is?

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Speaker 6: Please?

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Speaker 1: There's an update. Let's see the top comment is before

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Speaker 1: we get into the up. Dam Yeah, what the cop

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Speaker 1: comment is on the original post?

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Speaker 2: So we've got a nine percent fixed ninety one percent naw.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, you know.

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Speaker 4: Delusion is so powerful, Like this is a guy who's

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Speaker 4: in full Delulu mode. Yeah, you know that's that's that

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Speaker 4: would be my take, he cannot see. He's afraid that

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Speaker 4: could happen, already happened like it. You know, it's I

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Speaker 4: don't know tragic is the right word, but it is.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's unfortunate.

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Speaker 1: I think she doesn't have the courage to actually leave

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Speaker 1: the relationship, and so she is forcing Op's hand, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: to leave because very common thing is very a very

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Speaker 1: common thing, a very common thing. People. Sometimes it's very

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Speaker 1: hard to say, hey, like I want to break up.

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Speaker 1: Much easier to like create a situation in which there's

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Speaker 1: a reason, you know, or a defined reason.

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Speaker 3: The comments are quite metered, really, yeah, meter to.

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Speaker 1: Be Do you want to read? Read the top one?

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Speaker 1: A short one.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, she does not see Steve as a healthy best

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Speaker 5: friend relationship. Otherwise she wouldn't be hiding him behind your back.

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Speaker 5: Her mom is terrible for essentially covering for her affair.

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Speaker 5: The fact that you've expressed your feelings and she's totally

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Speaker 5: ignored you is very indicative of her feelings towards you

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Speaker 5: and this relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I completely agree with this a comment. If if

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Speaker 1: it was a totally normal best friend like behavior, it

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Speaker 1: would be an open phone policy. We got an update,

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Speaker 1: well read it, you were right about a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: To continue where I left off, I had last discovered

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Speaker 1: that my wife planned a secret lunch with a guy.

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Speaker 1: I believe she was having an emotional affair with Steve

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Speaker 1: on what was supposed to be a girl's day out

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Speaker 1: with her mom. I confronted my wife when she got home,

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Speaker 1: and I asked her straight if it was just her

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Speaker 1: and her mom at lunch. She looked straight at me

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Speaker 1: and said yes. I asked her again, are you sure

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Speaker 1: about that? Again? She said yes, looking at me like

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Speaker 1: I was crazy. Then I changed my tone and told

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Speaker 1: her it's time to start telling the truth again. She

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Speaker 1: acted like she had been telling the truth. I told

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Speaker 1: her that she was lying and that I know she

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Speaker 1: was actually at lunch with Steve. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I expected at this point, but I sure heck didn't

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Speaker 1: get regret or sorrow from her. She angrily demanded to

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Speaker 1: know how I knew. I told her how, and I

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Speaker 1: now realized that this mistake. I'll get to that later.

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Speaker 1: She was angry I had spied on her to find

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Speaker 1: out that she was lying, and she showed no regret whatsoever.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, of course not, because she's got defensive mode on.

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Speaker 4: She's trying to win, she's trying to not be bad.

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Speaker 1: So I immediately told her that our marriage was in

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Speaker 1: serious trouble and that we're going to marriage counseling. She

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Speaker 1: quickly said no to that. She said she didn't need

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Speaker 1: any counseling and didn't want to shrink. Picking her apart.

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Speaker 1: She said that I can go by myself if I

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Speaker 1: want to, because her mom was still here at this point.

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Speaker 2: The mom is still there.

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Speaker 5: Ah, it's not marriage counseling if he goes by himself.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I didn't want to go on for hours with her.

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Speaker 1: I ultimately got her to agree to quit talking to

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Speaker 1: Steve because he was a wedge driving us apart, and

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Speaker 1: that we couldn't heal our relationship until he was out

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Speaker 1: of the picture. She half heartedly agreed, I was only

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Speaker 1: looking for the words of agreement. I should have looked

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Speaker 1: deeper to see if her heart was in it. The

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Speaker 1: next morning, she changed her Facebook password and using Facebook

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Speaker 1: Chat to communicate her. Mom left the next day, and

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Speaker 1: I was exceedingly nice to her the whole day. That evening,

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Speaker 1: I even asked her if she had cut Steve off.

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Speaker 1: She had said yes. I asked her to show me

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Speaker 1: proof you got angry. Eventually, she relented and showed me

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Speaker 1: her text conversation with Steve and told him that I

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Speaker 1: knew everything and that they wouldn't be able to talk

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Speaker 1: for a while. I was too stupid to see at

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Speaker 1: the time that she was apologizing to Steve at the

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Speaker 1: same time, apologizing that she had let their relationship be

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Speaker 1: found out and that I was the a hole for

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Speaker 1: trying to drive them apart. You got all upset with

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Speaker 1: me that I had dared question her, and threatened to

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Speaker 1: move back home to live with her mom. This is

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Speaker 1: no small feat about a twelve hour drive. I was

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Speaker 1: extremely upset by this proposition, nonetheless, and balled my eyes out,

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Speaker 1: asking her to work with me to repair our marriage.

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Speaker 1: She would say no, over and over again, stone face

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Speaker 1: the entire time. I asked her what I did deserve

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Speaker 1: to be treated this way, and she just said it

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Speaker 1: was a lot of little things. Well, she sure sec

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Speaker 1: didn't tell me about most of them. I asked her

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Speaker 1: to name some instances. One of them was getting upset

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Speaker 1: at her playing video games until two am. Another was

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Speaker 1: when I had a crappy time at a bar. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't really social with her friends. I wasn't a wiener.

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Speaker 1: I just kept myself. To my defense. I had a

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Speaker 1: cold and was in no mood to be at a bar.

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Speaker 1: That's all she could specifically cite again. I finally got

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Speaker 1: her to agree to have an open heart and try

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Speaker 1: to work with me on our marriage, and things moved

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Speaker 1: out a bit after this. I was exceedingly nice to

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Speaker 1: her in every possible way. I bought her flowers every week,

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Speaker 1: took her on dates at least once a week, and

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Speaker 1: began to show interest in some of her hobbies, like

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Speaker 1: yoga and her video games. I agreed to watch anime

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Speaker 1: with her with an open mind. I never liked anime,

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Speaker 1: but I was willing to give it a shot. I

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Speaker 1: still didn't like it, but I didn't care because I

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Speaker 1: was getting to spend time with her. Things seemed to

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Speaker 1: be going okay. I said an appointment with the marriage

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Speaker 1: counselor nonetheless, and I figure that if nothing else, we

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Speaker 1: could work on my anxiety and I could eventually get

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Speaker 1: my wife to start coming. At the same time, I

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Speaker 1: began experimenting with supplements, nothing illegal, to help with my anxiety.

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Speaker 1: I know it sounds crazy, but I actually found one

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Speaker 1: that works.

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Speaker 2: Really well.

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Speaker 1: I truly feel like a weight has been lifted off

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Speaker 1: my shoulders. From it, my worry has been drastically reduced,

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Speaker 1: and I am far more comfortable in social situations. I

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Speaker 1: even wanted to seek them out sometimes, something I haven't

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Speaker 1: wanted to do in years. I started walking through life

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Speaker 1: with a new and renewed outlook on everything. All the while,

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Speaker 1: my wife still didn't act very happy. Most of the time,

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Speaker 1: she tolerated my presence and would half smile when I

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Speaker 1: told her how happy I was newfound perspective on life.

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Speaker 1: She still spent a lot of time looking at her phone,

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Speaker 1: being careful never to have her back to me when

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Speaker 1: she was on it. I would walk up to see

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Speaker 1: what she was doing, and she seemed to be doing

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Speaker 1: fairly harmless stuff, none of it involving Steve. Still I

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Speaker 1: was suspicious. One day, when she was in the shower,

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Speaker 1: I checked her phone. She was still texting Steve, but

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Speaker 1: drastically last like four or five texts per day. When

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Speaker 1: she got out, I asked her if she was still

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Speaker 1: talking to him. She admitted that she was, but not

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Speaker 1: very much. Again, I told her that I was not

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Speaker 1: comfortable with any contact at all, and she agreed to

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Speaker 1: stop contacting it. Things smoothed back out for a few

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Speaker 1: days again and got somewhat normal. She would come and

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Speaker 1: lay in bed with me for a few minutes to

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Speaker 1: talk at my request before I went to sleep, and

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Speaker 1: I knew that she would be getting back up. I

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Speaker 1: knew that she would staying up until one thirty or

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Speaker 1: two am most mornings, but I wasn't going to attack

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Speaker 1: that yet, baby steps. I told myself things were stable

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Speaker 1: for a while, and the next opportunity that I got

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Speaker 1: to check her phone, I realized that she had changed

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Speaker 1: her password and I could no longer access anything. I

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Speaker 1: asked her to show me her password as a matter

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Speaker 1: of openness, and she did. The next opportunity I got

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Speaker 1: to check her phone, I realized that she had instead

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Speaker 1: password protected her texts and I couldn't access them. I

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Speaker 1: didn't say anything about it. A couple of days later,

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Speaker 1: she accidentally sent me a text meant for Steve. It

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Speaker 1: was harmless in nature, but clearly meant for Steve. I

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Speaker 1: questioned her on it, and she got angry with me,

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Speaker 1: said it was the only thing she'd really sent him lately.

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Speaker 1: I believe this occurred on Monday this week, Tuesday was

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Speaker 1: a fairly normal day. I came in for work and

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Speaker 1: started making dinner. My wife told me that a family

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Speaker 1: friend where she is originally from, twelve hours away, invited

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Speaker 1: her to come to his college graduation today. She said

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Speaker 1: that she wanted to go by herself. I said that

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Speaker 1: was fine, and that I would fly her up there.

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Speaker 1: She immediately refused, stating that she intended to drive. I

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Speaker 1: insisted on flying her, but she stubbornly refused. Once again,

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Speaker 1: I asked her when she would be leaving, and she

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Speaker 1: said Friday morning, so she could get there in time

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Speaker 1: for a seven pm graduation. Now, remember this is a

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Speaker 1: twelve ish hour he would have to leave at six

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Speaker 1: am and drive straight through to safely make it on time.

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Speaker 1: I told her this, and then she said that maybe

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Speaker 1: she would leave Thursday night, and said I insisted on

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Speaker 1: booking a hotel room for her halfway.

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Speaker 4: In this case, congratulations, brother, you just made her realize. Oh,

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Speaker 4: instead of cheating on her him for one day, I

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Speaker 4: can cheat on him for two days.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I'll leave Thursday.

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Speaker 1: Again, she refused, stating that she would figure it out

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Speaker 1: along the way. I backed off and told her I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't interfere. The next day, Wednesday, I came home like normal.

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Speaker 1: While she was in the shower. I got on the

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Speaker 1: computer to see what she had been up to and

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Speaker 1: was able to see some of her activities with her

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Speaker 1: other gaming friends online. She mentioned she was taking an

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Speaker 1: impromptu road trip with Steve to see her friend graduate

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Speaker 1: and they would drive through the night together. I was

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Speaker 1: officially pissed off at this point. I confronted her, officially

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Speaker 1: piss off.

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Speaker 2: Now this is where I draw the line. How you've

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Speaker 2: done it?

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Speaker 1: I confronted her as soon as she got another shower.

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Speaker 1: I told her to tell me what the f she

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Speaker 1: thought she was doing. She acted like she was innocent

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Speaker 1: and knew nothing. Again, I asked her again, She claimed

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Speaker 1: to know nothing. I told her to tell me why

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Speaker 1: she had secretly planned his trip with Steve with plans

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Speaker 1: to introduce him to her family. Just like the first time,

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Speaker 1: she displayed no guilt, no regret, no sorrow, only anger.

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Speaker 1: I had discovered the truth. She demanded to know how

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Speaker 1: I found out. I didn't tell her this time. I

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Speaker 1: asked her if she was sleeping with him. She said no,

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Speaker 1: But who the heck knows? She's lied so many times

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Speaker 1: now furious, she started packing her bags in her car,

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Speaker 1: took the dog, and told me she was leaving. I

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Speaker 1: think she stayed at a hotel Wednesday night. True to

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Speaker 1: her word, she and Steve partnered up and drove through

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Speaker 1: the night last night to see her family. I saw

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Speaker 1: the marriage counselor last night and explained everything to her.

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Speaker 1: I know counselor's supposed to remain professional, but even she

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Speaker 1: was crying as I told her what had happened. But

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Speaker 1: my heart is breaking into two. I didn't do anything

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Speaker 1: to deserve this. I have been a dang good husband

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Speaker 1: to her, always loving her and remaining fiercely loyal to her.

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Speaker 1: I'm having a lot of trouble just not crying as

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Speaker 1: I go through my day. I am broken. The logical

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Speaker 1: side of me says to prepare for divorce. It says

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Speaker 1: to protect my assets and to look out for my

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Speaker 1: own best interests. The emotional side, which is yelling a

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Speaker 1: lot louder right now, says I will be miserable by

439
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 1: myself and that I need to try to make this work.

440
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 1: I can't be the one to throw in the towel.

441
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,359
Speaker 1: It says that I could never be happy with someone else.

442
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 1: As I was with my wife for the first eight

443
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,880
Speaker 1: and a half years of our relationship, says I would

444
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 1: always have that nagging thought in the back of my head,

445
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,639
Speaker 1: wondering what things would be like if I stayed to

446
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 1: work things out. That nagging thought might cause deep unhappiness

447
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: if I were ever able to trust again and find

448
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,359
Speaker 1: someone else. I'm just not ready to let go. My

449
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,639
Speaker 1: wife is still living in fantasy Land. She's addicted to Steve,

450
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,720
Speaker 1: She's addicted to her gaming community. She's unable to see

451
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: the ridiculousness of devoting so much time and energy to

452
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 1: these endeavors. She has no five year plan anymore, She

453
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 1: has no five week plan. She just takes things at

454
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,639
Speaker 1: day to time, taking in as much Steve and as

455
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,959
Speaker 1: much gaming as possible. I pulled a chat transcript from

456
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 1: Facebook and found an average she and Steve exchange ninety

457
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 1: five messages per day. Ninety five messages.

458
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,000
Speaker 4: You need to be backing ninety five percent off stop snooping?

459
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,880
Speaker 2: Can you go back three pages? What did this guy

460
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 2: just say?

461
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,879
Speaker 4: My wife is living in Fantasyland, brother, You're the mayor

462
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 4: of fantasy Land.

463
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,119
Speaker 1: She says, she is miserable living in our home, that

464
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 1: we bought together and seems to think she can go

465
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 1: live by herself and that life will be like an

466
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,439
Speaker 1: episode of Friends every day. The reality is that she

467
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 1: doesn't make enough money to live on her own, and

468
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 1: while she might be entitled to some assets, she's not

469
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,680
Speaker 1: eligible for alimony in our state. Even if she got

470
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: the house, she can't afford to pay it on her own.

471
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 1: She can't afford rent in an apartment here either. Sure

472
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,959
Speaker 1: she can move in with Steve. Steve lives over an

473
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 1: hour away from us, and she would be commuting an

474
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 1: hour and a half each way to work her twelve

475
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,199
Speaker 1: dollars an hour job that she won't quit because she

476
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: likes it. She's also going to school right now, and

477
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 1: she's going to have to start working even less to

478
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 1: focus on school. There's another relevant update. Steve's entire life

479
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,119
Speaker 1: is video games. Seriously, that is all he does. I

480
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 1: think she would start to feel neglected really quick iss

481
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,679
Speaker 1: she were ever with him in a real life's relationship.

482
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 1: Let her find out. The only practical option would be

483
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,719
Speaker 1: for her to move back in with her mom. Her

484
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 1: mom lives in the boonies and they don't even have internet,

485
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: which means no internet gaming for my wife. She should

486
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 1: be miserable. I love my wife's death, or at least

487
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 1: the woman that she was a year and a half ago.

488
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: But I am seriously just broken right now. Know how

489
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 1: she's going to feel when she comes back from her

490
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 1: fun road trip with Steve or she probably saw her

491
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: family that backs up every move she makes. We had

492
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 1: made summer vacation plans already a few weeks ago, when

493
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 1: things were decent. Now I'm just in Shaw and that,

494
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 1: my friends, is where that story ends.

495
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 7: My girlfriend started acting suspicious after I invited my friend

496
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 7: to our home.

497
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: Ooh, is there something going on with a friend?

498
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 7: Well, I've been living with my girlfriend for over two

499
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 7: years now, and we've dated for about six years since

500
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 7: we met in college. We've both been out of college

501
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 7: for roughly two years now, and one of my friends

502
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 7: who moved out of the country announced he was coming

503
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 7: back to our country for a visit and I offered

504
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 7: for him to stay. Girlfriend has never met friend. We

505
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 7: will refer to him as Larry. However, Larry and I

506
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 7: had Skype and my girlfriend was off and around and

507
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 7: got to know Larry through me. By the way, this

508
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 7: comes from Orange Soda can and if you want to

509
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 7: submit your own stories, you can go to the r

510
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 7: slash Okay storytime subreddit. So anyways, we were all excited.

511
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 7: Fast forward, Larry arrives. Everything is well, but about two

512
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 7: to three weeks into his stay, I become increasingly uncomfortable

513
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 7: with the way Larry and my girlfriend would act together.

514
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 7: Now I vented my feelings to my girlfriend, who assured

515
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 7: me that nothing was going on, and I didn't say

516
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 7: anything to Larry. Eventually, Larry's little nuances got to me.

517
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 7: We'd have little feuds over nothing, and I asked Larry

518
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 7: to move out and find somewhere else to stay, cue

519
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 7: to some bitterness between Larry and I. Now, Larry left

520
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 7: last weekend. He's gone. A few days back. I noticed

521
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 7: that my girlfriend's Facebook had some messages from Larry, and

522
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 7: when I asked my girlfriend about it, she quickly closed

523
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 7: the window and told.

524
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 3: Me it's.

525
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 2: Larry's SWOOPI don't worry, don't worry, it's it's all all good.

526
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 7: It was just Larry trying to get an idea as

527
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 7: to why I am bitter with him. In my mind,

528
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 7: I felt he was exceeding his boundaries up as my friend,

529
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,959
Speaker 7: so I decided to cut him out. Girlfriend would scold

530
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 7: me and call me a miserable person. We even had

531
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 7: a little fight about it when I told my girlfriend

532
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 7: that I didn't want Larry to stay over the night

533
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 7: before his flight. Girlfriend eventually apologized, but I was still

534
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 7: disappointed that she didn't have my back or understand my feelings. Anyways,

535
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 7: I should go back to the Facebook messages. Today I

536
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 7: was shutting down our PCs after my girlfriend had gone

537
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 7: to bed, and my curiosity.

538
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 2: Got the worst of me.

539
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 7: I know this is bad, and I opened up her

540
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 7: Facebook from there. Oh god, she was already logged in

541
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,400
Speaker 7: and I noticed a message from Larry and it was unread.

542
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 7: I opened it and went through their conversation history, and

543
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 7: this is where I wanted to throw up. Basically, they

544
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,159
Speaker 7: met up at least once behind my back when I

545
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 7: was on a business trip and wanted to coordinate another visit,

546
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 7: but my girlfriend didn't feel it would work out. So

547
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 7: Larry replies back that he needs to hold her again

548
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 7: and misses her very much, calling her things like sweetie.

549
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 2: I was livid.

550
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 7: Words cannot describe how I felt reading that out. The

551
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 7: combination of anger, despair, sadness, betrayal, and pure rage was

552
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 7: too much for me to take. Girlfriend had also sent

553
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 7: a photo of a campfire from this weekend when we

554
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 7: were together, and she took and sent Larry that saying

555
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 7: I miss you. I confronted the girlfriend and had to

556
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 7: wake her up at one am and ask her. At first,

557
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 7: she was sleepy and denied it all. But when I

558
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 7: told her I'd read her convo history and that I

559
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 7: was sorry for filing her privacy but had to know

560
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 7: why she was keeping this from me, things became clear

561
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 7: in her mind that I was very hurt by all

562
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 7: of this. I explained my feelings. I was hurt, but trayed.

563
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 7: I housed this guy and showed him a good time

564
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 7: for a month, and even after all of this, you

565
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 7: told me I was the crazy one. Now my worst

566
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 7: suspicions are true. My friend Larry is obviously cut from

567
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 7: my life. Can't have toxic people like that around. But

568
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 7: my girlfriend is another problem. I'm seriously head over heels

569
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 7: in love with her and don't want to lose her.

570
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 7: On the other hand, my heart is torn and I

571
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 7: have too much self respect to continue dating her. She

572
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 7: completely thrashed my trust into the ground, and what's worse

573
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 7: is humiliated me by going after one of my friends

574
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 7: that I let stay with me. I feel like I've

575
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 7: fed myself in a lot of ways and that I

576
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 7: should have seen this coming, but I was naive.

577
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: Anyways, we both.

578
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 7: Have worked tomorrow, but I'm seriously at a lost for words.

579
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 7: Girlfriend and I have only spoken a bit. I mean,

580
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 7: it is late at night. It's around four fifteen I

581
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 7: am while I'm diping this. I've gotten zero sleep tonight,

582
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 7: even after driving around and bawling my eyes out an

583
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 7: empty parking lot.

584
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 1: Oh.

585
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 7: I know this isn't easy to hear, and I admit

586
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,479
Speaker 7: I'm being immature, but dang, I thought we were stronger

587
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 7: than this.

588
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,239
Speaker 2: I guess the lesson has been learned. Regardless, I'm at

589
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: a loss for words.

590
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 7: I feel like us breaking up is inevitable, and it

591
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 7: makes things so complicated, seeing as I just bought this

592
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 7: house about ten months ago and we shared a dog.

593
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 7: She's even driving a car that I gave her. I

594
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,199
Speaker 7: know splitting things up won't be easy, and to be honest,

595
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 7: I don't want her to go. But like I said,

596
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 7: my brain is telling me this is what we need,

597
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 7: Yet my heart feels otherwise. And ladies and gentlemen, we

598
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 7: have an update. Been almost twenty days since this all

599
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 7: went down. I've had a lot of time to myself,

600
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 7: and my job keeps me on the road, so I've

601
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 7: had a few business trips in the meantime to keep

602
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 7: me distracted. I'm so far enjoying my new lifestyle that

603
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 7: I'm trying to build for myself. There's a lot of

604
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 7: free time I have, and I'm enjoying having full control

605
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 7: over my schedule, tasks, and things I do day today.

606
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 7: Being able to play in just for myself is alleviating,

607
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 7: and I'm starting to look back and see all the

608
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 7: flaws that were present in my past relationship that I

609
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 7: now really see as red flags. Overall, I was pretty

610
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 7: unhappy when I was with my ex. I'm recognizing that now.

611
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 7: I beared with the unhappiness and kept going because I

612
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 7: felt this is what normal guys do in long term relationships,

613
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 7: the sunken cost theory. Also, I thought she was loyal,

614
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 7: so case in point, I didn't see any point to

615
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 7: break things up. So from that point of view, I

616
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 7: recognize I have some personal faults that I need to

617
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 7: fix in order to consider myself healthy again. I met

618
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 7: someone when I was on one of those trips and

619
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 7: we had spicy sleep in my hotel room. It was

620
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 7: one of the worst spicy related experiences I've ever had.

621
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 7: Oof It was way too early after the breakup, and

622
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 7: in my mind I was just thinking I'd be horny

623
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 7: and f someone else and give myself a break. The

624
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 7: second we started to have spicy sleep, I felt myself

625
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 7: get a hit with.

626
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: A tidal wave of emotion.

627
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 7: I immediately thought of my ex since she was the

628
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 7: only person that I'd had spicy sleep with before. The actions,

629
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 7: the thrusting, etc. We're so enamored in my head from

630
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 7: being with her. Looking down and realizing I wasn't with

631
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 7: her made me sick and very upset. God, I couldn't finish.

632
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 7: I ended up rolling over and trying to hold back

633
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 7: my tears. Thankfully, she was understanding when I told her

634
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 7: I just got out of a relationship and she decided

635
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 7: to leave without any commotion. She was even nice enough

636
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 7: to tell me she knows how it feels and that

637
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 7: it will get better with time.

638
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: Definitely not gonna call her again.

639
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 7: I regret even putting myself in that scenario, but granted

640
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 7: I learned something about myself afterwards.

641
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: So there you go.

642
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 7: My ex didn't really have any of her own friends.

643
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 7: This should have been another red flag. She was constantly

644
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 7: around my friends, and, being honest, I didn't really mind,

645
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 7: but now that I see how broken that is for

646
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 7: a person to lack any best friend or group of

647
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 7: people they saw before we got together and continue to

648
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 7: be together. My friends have always been there for me,

649
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 7: even the ones I knew before my ex. Granted she's

650
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 7: now on her own. I have no idea who she's

651
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 7: talking to about this whole scenario aside from her immediate family,

652
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 7: and I don't really care. I've had the talk with

653
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 7: a few of my mutual friends that me and Larry had.

654
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 7: Everyone is pretty much shocked, but they also told me

655
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 7: that they had a feeling something was going on, but

656
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 7: Larry would lie to them when they'd ask about it.

657
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 7: Larry has since tried to reach out to some of

658
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 7: them and try to rectify the situation, but they've already

659
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 7: heard the story for me first, so most of them

660
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 7: have cut Larry out of their lives. But to be honest,

661
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 7: I'm not very close with these people and don't plan

662
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 7: on growing to be more close with them in the future.

663
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 7: Larry was only the crux of our relationship, so if

664
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 7: they do continue and associate with them, I would definitely

665
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 7: not be happy and wouldn't mind cutting off contact with

666
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 7: them as well. This actually became an issue with one

667
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 7: of our mutual friends, we'll call him John. John's a

668
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 7: good guy, we have similar interests, and he was around

669
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 7: a lot of the time that Larry was. John was

670
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 7: over at my house this past weekend, and since we

671
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 7: picked up his new car and near a dealership.

672
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 2: Close to my place. He lives one and a half

673
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 2: hours away.

674
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 7: So John and I were shooting the crap and it's

675
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 7: kind of inevitable for us to talk about what happened

676
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 7: with me. He did bring up how he had talked

677
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 7: to Larry and how Larry is still lying to him.

678
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 7: This kind of irked me. I told John I didn't

679
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 7: care about Larry and that if he's going to continue

680
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 7: to associate with Larryrry, then I can't see us continuing

681
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 7: to be friends. Ooh, pick aside, John, ultimatum, back aside,

682
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 7: what's John gonna say?

683
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentleman.

684
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 7: John was obviously a little upset by this, saying that

685
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 7: he just can't process what happened and wants to give

686
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 7: Larry a chance to explain himself. I told him that's fine,

687
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 7: but again, it's like he's condoning these actions and if

688
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 7: he wants to get burned in the future, that's his

689
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 7: own decisions. Ooh, I just don't want Larry around me

690
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 7: in any shape or form, And if John wants to

691
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 7: be around me, he needs to understand that. It's not

692
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 7: like Larry broke my car and refuses to pay the

693
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 7: guy freaking stabbed me in the back, and I can't

694
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 7: ever forget that, even if in time I find it

695
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 7: in myself to forgive Larry, which right now I can't.

696
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 7: Larry is done to me. We only talked briefly after

697
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 7: I punted my ex out, and it was mostly us

698
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 7: cursing at one another.

699
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 2: Very childish.

700
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 7: Like I said, I knew I wouldn't get any closure

701
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 7: out of talking to the guy and hearing him try

702
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 7: to explain himself. Larry and my ex are both very

703
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 7: broken people. They blame others for their own happiness and

704
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 7: feel it's justified when their behaviors cause others to become upsets.

705
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 7: Now as for me, well, my head is an effing tornado.

706
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 7: Around twelve hours of every day I've been smoking the

707
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 7: Devil's lettuce to keep my cool and enjoying video games,

708
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 7: but there's a lot of time when I avoid it

709
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 7: altogether because I know I feel depressed and smoking the

710
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 7: Devil's lettus will only drive me to be more sad

711
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 7: since I dwell on my feelings in the past. So

712
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 7: I've heard stories from others saying how they are happy

713
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 7: to hear that this happened to me. Well, they've had

714
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 7: the same thing happen, except after thirty years of marriage

715
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 7: and three kids, so they feel like they were not

716
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 7: only robbed of some of the best years of their life,

717
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 7: but now they also have a financial obligation towards the

718
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 7: person who manipulated and hurt them the most. I don't

719
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 7: feel better hearing about how worse it could have been,

720
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 7: but I'm happy we never had any kids or decided

721
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 7: to marry. I definitely would have been dealing with another

722
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 7: side show of a scenario. Here's another punter. My ex's sister,

723
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 7: only two years older than her, did the exact same

724
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 7: thing at the start of this year to her own husband,

725
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 7: literally three days after we got back from their destination wedding.

726
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 7: At the wedding is so crazy and decided this was

727
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 7: the guy for her.

728
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: Fdam still went through with the wedding.

729
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 7: I don't know the full story, and at the time,

730
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,719
Speaker 7: we just moved into our new home, so I invited

731
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 7: her to stay with us until she got back on

732
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 7: her feet. When she started seeing this new guy, I

733
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 7: was really uneasy about it. This was also complicated because

734
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 7: she was living here and didn't seem to have any plans.

735
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: To move out.

736
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 7: I had to coach her sister on how to get

737
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 7: a loan for a down payment, talk to the landlords,

738
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 7: et cetera, et cetera. Very immature family. This should have

739
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 7: been another huge red flag, but I ignored it and

740
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 7: had to deal with the consequences of it. I'm actually

741
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 7: reconnected with her ex husband named Tim. Tim and I

742
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 7: were friends throughout our relationships with these sisters, and I

743
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 7: was sad to see Tim go the way he did,

744
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 7: but I was on the sister side by association. Even

745
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 7: if I felt things weren't right, there was nothing I

746
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 7: could have done about it. In retrospect, I should have

747
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 7: punted out both of those crazy witches and told them to.

748
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: Go get a life. More about me, I'm hitting the.

749
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 7: Gym, having more one on one time with my dog

750
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 7: bro and overall just trying to.

751
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 2: Take it easy.

752
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 7: This is such a huge change in my lifestyle that

753
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 7: it's not something I can adjust too quickly. And even

754
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 7: though my work schedule has to be flying somewhere new

755
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 7: every week, it's really tough still managing everything and ensuring

756
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 7: I'm not strusting myself out with my own expectations. I'm

757
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 7: still used to having my ex girlfriend's voice in my

758
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 7: head telling me to rush home and be with her.

759
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 7: I've been having a lot of dreams where I see

760
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 7: her and Larry together. They're both tormenting me. I've had

761
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 7: dreams where I um alive Larry rush his skull with

762
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 7: the hammer. I feel bad about those dreams God, because

763
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 7: even though I want revenge, I don't like causing pain

764
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 7: to other human beings. It's not like I can't hurt him,

765
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 7: but I've hurt others in the past sports, and I

766
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 7: never took pleasure in that, even though my teammates did

767
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 7: at times, So it's just not in me. Although I

768
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 7: love to visit him in his home country and kidnap

769
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 7: him and cue some torture, and these are just weird

770
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 7: things I say to myself.

771
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: You're saying it to us, and to keep myself going.

772
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 7: I still feel a lot of pain and guilt about

773
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 7: what happened, and I shouldn't have to.

774
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: This is a process. I know.

775
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 7: I will always go back and read the original threat

776
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 7: I started when I'm feeling weak and want.

777
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 2: To text slash calls the act. I definitely don't do that.

778
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 7: I've held strong on the no contact, but a few

779
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 7: times I did message her, once when I found a

780
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 7: receipt from a couple's massage when I was out of town.

781
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 7: On another occasion, I just wanted to let her know

782
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 7: that I found another piece of evidence. Really, there was

783
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 7: no point to this. I was just in pain and

784
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 7: feeling weak. She lied through her teeth about everything, told

785
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 7: me how she wanted me back and how she wants

786
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 7: to unlive herself. Oh my goodness.

787
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: It felt kind of good hearing all that. Oh my god.

788
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 7: But still it's a twisted feeling, and I know I

789
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 7: shouldn't be talking to her. Just some therapy, my boy,

790
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 7: Just a good old fashioned therapist. She is toxic, She

791
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 7: lies and has no problems deceiving me. I just feel

792
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 7: like such a fool for spending so many years with her,

793
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 7: and to top it off, the amount of humiliation I

794
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 7: feel when I imagine.

795
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 2: Her with Larry is just beyond this world.

796
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 7: I used to have a lot of self confidence, but

797
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 7: now I feel like a literal piece of crap. I

798
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 7: feel used, worthless, ready to be discarded, almost as if

799
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 7: I deserve for this to happen. Sometimes other times I

800
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 7: will rebound from this and try to build myself up.

801
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 7: The best times I feel is when I'm in the

802
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 7: gym or running outside. Thinking about the two of them

803
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 7: has fueled a few good sets for me, and I

804
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 7: hope to continue taking advantage of this hate for a

805
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 7: bit longer Again Therapy.

806
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: That's the end of the story.

807
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 7: John, Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

808
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 7: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

809
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 6: My husband is still friends with his X. I heard

810
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 6: them talking bad about me.

811
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 3: Well that's not very nice, now, is it.

812
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 6: I've been married for four months now and we had

813
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 6: dated for two years prior. This girl has been on

814
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 6: his friend group for quite some time now and it

815
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 6: was never an issue until recently. By the way, this

816
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 6: comes from Throwaway Box sixty four forty six and if

817
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 6: you want to sen me of your own stories. Go

818
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 6: to our slash okay storytime subburn it. So we had

819
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 6: hosted a little celebration recently, and at a point all

820
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 6: the ladies were gathered in a room and I was

821
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 6: chatting with her. She's unmarried and three years older than me,

822
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 6: and it's still stunningly pretty too, like model gorgeous. So

823
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 6: we're laughing and talking well till she brings up my husband,

824
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 6: asking how it's going and if he was troubling me

825
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 6: in any way, in a joking manner. She then pulls

826
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 6: her phone out and scrolls down to show me pics

827
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 6: of his from before. I was surprised she still had

828
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 6: pics of that time, but nearly every single one of

829
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 6: them was during the time they had dated. And when

830
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 6: I got uncomfortable and told her to stop, she just

831
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 6: laughed it away.

832
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 3: Uh it's weird, really, I mean, I guess if they're

833
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 3: like still friends, then they probably didn't end on any

834
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,359
Speaker 3: bad notes. I just can't imagine having pictures of your

835
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 3: ex still.

836
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 6: In general, you know, this is a little fishy, little fishy.

837
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 6: My husband was in his twenties then, she called it

838
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 6: his prime that she does. They traveled more than me

839
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 6: and him ever did. What shocked me most was what

840
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 6: she showed me pics and videos of them having traveled

841
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 6: to Barcelona twice. And this was shocking because when I

842
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 6: told him about visiting that place, he outright refused it,

843
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 6: and he said he hated that place, calling it boring.

844
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 6: Interesting and someone's boring? Are you going to go there again?

845
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 6: If something's boring, am I gonna If somewhere is boring,

846
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 6: would you go there again?

847
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 3: No? But I would expect that Barcelona wouldn't be boring.

848
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 6: Some people don't like Spain, I guess. At a point,

849
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 6: I was tired of her telling all of her stories,

850
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 6: so I left. It was probably a bit stupid to

851
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 6: get angry about something like that, but I decided to

852
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 6: leave the room. Later on, somewhere around late night, all

853
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 6: his friends were down in the living room. One of

854
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 6: their spouses had pump so I gave her a separate

855
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 6: room for privacy. I thought of joining them all, but

856
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 6: then I heard one of the guys talking about how

857
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 6: my husband's parents accepted me and the family. He and

858
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 6: his family are all Koreans, and most of his friends

859
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 6: mostly belonging to the same community. I am from Indonesia.

860
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 6: And it was a lot of trouble when he told

861
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 6: his parents about me. Though all of it has been

862
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 6: fixed now, it felt weird to listen to that again,

863
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 6: cause a lot of slurs are still thrown around, even

864
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 6: though I've been living here for years. My husband told

865
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 6: them it's been tough, but it's all right now. And

866
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 6: then his friend who I was chatting to earlier, talks

867
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 6: about how she had sent him on many blind dates

868
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 6: with pretty women and decided to choose me.

869
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: What this is weird?

870
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 6: They were all wasted, so maybe they didn't know or

871
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 6: didn't mean those words, but it still hurt a lot.

872
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 6: They started laughing loudly, telling my husband I was a

873
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 6: bit ugly according to his standards in the past. Ah,

874
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 6: and one of them even acknowledged his relationship with the girl.

875
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 6: My husband then said words I never imagined he would,

876
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 6: telling them that I might be ugly, but I married her,

877
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 6: someone who used to come for me when I cried,

878
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 6: or bring me to shop and give me clothes, someone

879
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 6: I was now having a kid with. Admitting I'm ugly

880
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:47,800
Speaker 6: felt terrible.

881
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, do even do I don't know this

882
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 3: is a problem. I would be pissed.

883
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 6: I was about to call you that, but like I can't.

884
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 3: But just now, just for see a, I just can't, dude, Like,

885
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 3: if that happened, I would leave. Bro, if we had

886
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 3: a baby, it'd be harder to do that, hard because

887
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 3: you love him. Maybe step one, knock her up up.

888
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: Step two now you can call her Yep, those are.

889
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 6: The steps to take accordinate. I know when to call

890
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 6: you ugly now, Oh my god, as soon as you.

891
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 3: Dude, I'm probably insecared from being pregnant and stuff.

892
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, this is terrible.

893
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 3: I think it's the friends. I think he needs to

894
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 3: get rid of the friends. They seem no good all.

895
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 6: The incident of the day just came down and I

896
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 6: walked out before I heard too much. I decided to

897
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 6: shower and then go to sleep before they did. But

898
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 6: this morning, after they all left and my husband stumbled

899
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 6: back in bed, I still kept thinking about it. It's

900
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 6: difficult to convince myself now that they're only friends. They

901
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 6: have a longer history than I did with him and

902
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 6: his friends. Acknowledging it is even worse. This morning, despite

903
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 6: his state, he hugged her and said goodbye and arranged

904
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 6: a pack of sweets. He told me she likes and

905
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 6: to enjoy the tree back. It's been eating at my insecurities,

906
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 6: especially after seeing the pictures. My husband looks so much

907
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 6: younger without the fine lines now appearing and the youthful

908
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 6: look back. Then a part of me is jealous. I

909
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 6: never enjoyed that part of him, or as she's not much,

910
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,799
Speaker 6: or as she's not only more rich than me, but

911
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 6: also too pretty. And it hurts after being called ugly

912
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 6: by someone who I thought loved me. This has been

913
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 6: bugging me for a while and also seems like a

914
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 6: very stupid thing to confront about. So can any of

915
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 6: you give me advice on what to do? She even

916
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 6: talked about sending each other a boquets without roses, but

917
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,280
Speaker 6: gifts instead. I used to tell him that I wanted

918
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 6: one of those for my birthday with books, but he

919
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 6: told me he had better things than mine and never

920
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 6: gave me one. I feel bad that he didn't do

921
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 6: it when I asked him, but it was a routine

922
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 6: for someone before me, And I'm gonna give some advice.

923
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 6: Sounds like a conversation, and it sounds like someone might

924
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 6: need to move on, like in the dating worlds.

925
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

926
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 3: It feels like you're not moved on in a way,

927
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 3: like you can have similar experiences and not have it

928
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 3: be the same and not have to think about your

929
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 3: old partner, you know what I mean? Yeah, or replace

930
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 3: those memories with your new partner.

931
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 6: I agree. I remember whenever I got broken up with

932
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 6: there were a lot of stuff that was hard for

933
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 6: me to do, but I just had to do it.

934
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 3: It's gotta do it.

935
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 6: She also wasn't in my life anymore, seems like this person. Yeah,

936
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 6: I'm still in the husband's life.

937
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:26,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true.

938
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 6: Am, Because okay, let's say, like, h my ex is

939
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 6: still my life. I always gave it roses. I give

940
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 6: you roses. What is she gonna say, Oh, you gave

941
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 6: for roses because you.

942
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 3: Used to give that to me, Which is like so

943
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: stupid though, because like she shouldn't be talking about that

944
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 3: stuff anymore. She shouldn't be like, oh, yeah, like that's

945
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 3: that's good that you're doing that because I liked it

946
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 3: when you do that with me. That's weird. If you're

947
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 3: still friends with your ex, you can't be talking about

948
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 3: relationships bringing up the past.

949
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 6: You not like that, Manke promments Jammie Camm says, your

950
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 6: issue shouldn't be with this woman, but with your husband.

951
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 6: Man you married feels comfortable sitting old with friends and

952
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 6: talking badly about you. A good man would have shut

953
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 6: down that conversation and never allowed guests in his home

954
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 6: to degrade his wife in any way. Yep, Pause, Omania says,

955
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 6: I had set my phone down when she mentioned her

956
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,359
Speaker 6: husband's friends casually referring to her as racial slurs. If

957
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 6: anyone had the effing audacity to call my partner a

958
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 6: racial slur in my house, no less, they're getting the

959
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 6: knock the f out up.

960
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 2: He says.

961
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,959
Speaker 6: I didn't expect him to shut it down or even

962
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 6: divert the conversation, but he accepted it, and that's what hurts.

963
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 6: Littlecat's three says, your husband needs to make a hard

964
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 6: choice about his life is going to look like going forward.

965
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 6: He either wants to keep these people in his life

966
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 6: and lose you, or keep you and ditch the friends.

967
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,959
Speaker 6: None of these people are good people, and they all

968
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 6: talked badly about you, and your husband did it decent

969
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 6: you or himself. This ex girlfriend is his ex for

970
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 6: a reason. She's a jealous person who was perfectly showing

971
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 6: you the pictures to make you feel jealous. I'm assuming

972
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,240
Speaker 6: she hit those specific pictures because she told her things

973
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 6: about you, like how you wanted to go to Barcelona.

974
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 6: At a minimum, that actually needs to be cut out,

975
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 6: no contact, and frankly, I wouldn't mind putting her in

976
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 6: her place beforehand. You have been married for four months.

977
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 6: Do you think you could do this for years? It's

978
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 6: never too late to get out of a bad situation.

979
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 6: You'll know if he's willing to stand up for you

980
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 6: when you talk to him about this. Opie says, he

981
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 6: probably didn't tell her and maybe that's why the friends

982
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,879
Speaker 6: were laughing about their relationship. Gosh, this hurts. We got

983
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 6: an update.

984
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,240
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

985
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 6: Definitely bring this up you have. Yeah, absolutely absolutely.

986
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 3: It definitely is a red flag on the boyfriend's or

987
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 3: the husband's, the husband's side, because like, if if we

988
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 3: were married for small like that, if we were dating,

989
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 3: this will still be a problem. But if we were married,

990
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 3: like that's a much bigger problem. And I was still

991
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 3: friends with my ex and you saw that we were

992
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 3: literally just crap talking you like, that's a whole other

993
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: issue is that he's straight. Not only is he crap

994
00:41:56,200 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 3: talking OPI he is crap talking her with his ex. Yeah,

995
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 3: that's terrible.

996
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 6: I'm gonna have to leave man for us.

997
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 3: All right?

998
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 6: This was cool, cool trial. Yeah, I'm out. Yeah did

999
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 6: not pass.

1000
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 3: Yikes.

1001
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,800
Speaker 6: I'm scared for this update. Update. So I shared about

1002
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 6: this incident to my friends and they've urged me to

1003
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 6: make plans with them to Barcelona itself. I agreed and

1004
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 6: we went to do a bit of shopping for it.

1005
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 6: I have been feeling way better now after talking to

1006
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 6: them and all the support you guys gave too. I'm

1007
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 6: really grateful. My husband has been texting me continuously for

1008
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 6: a while now. I'm saying at my friend's house for

1009
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 6: a while. I taxed him saying that I wasn't happy

1010
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 6: with the company he kept and told him about what

1011
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,919
Speaker 6: his friend did showing me their pictures. I also told

1012
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 6: them that he admitted I was ugly to his friends.

1013
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 6: He answered by saying that he was mostly wasted and

1014
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 6: didn't mean it, and that he and his friend's culture

1015
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 6: is where it's normal to comment on people's appearances and

1016
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 6: not to take it a heart and set all the

1017
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 6: cheesy stuff after that, But how he still thinks I'm

1018
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,919
Speaker 6: really beautiful but I can't accept that anymore. He told

1019
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 6: me he'll talk to his friends about it and asked

1020
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,839
Speaker 6: to apologize. I told him that I can leave if

1021
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 6: he still has feelings for his friend, but he said

1022
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 6: that that was all a past fling. There's a reason

1023
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 6: they broke up. He told me, I'm the one he

1024
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 6: wants to have kids with, but I feel like he

1025
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 6: wants me to be a baby producing machine for his family.

1026
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 6: Back to the story baby producing machine. Yeah, I mean,

1027
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 6: what could happen is like, I got babies happening on

1028
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 6: the side, and I'm still with this friend over here.

1029
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 3: I still got this still got this cool girl that

1030
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 3: I could go to Barcelona with. The fling never ended,

1031
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 3: never never stopped.

1032
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 6: It can be flung again. I'm still looking for a lawyer. Wow.

1033
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 6: And my brother has offered to help me too. He

1034
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 6: got really angry after hearing about the situation. I have

1035
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 6: a place on my own where I shift to after

1036
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 6: I come back from the trip. My husband is back

1037
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 6: to constantly calling, though I texted him to stop, and

1038
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 6: he hasn't done anything yet. I'm still a bit confused,

1039
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 6: but I think the strip is going to help me

1040
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 6: clear my mind. I haven't told him anything yet, and

1041
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 6: I'm thinking about blocking him in my socials. Then my

1042
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 6: friend suggested he sees that I am living my best

1043
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 6: life without him knowing.

1044
00:43:59,440 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 3: Scary start.

1045
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,879
Speaker 6: I remember you saying they're all Korean, and it's true

1046
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 6: about the toxicity in that culture and the way they

1047
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 6: talk about looks. But that doesn't mean you have to

1048
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 6: put up with it. Good for you, op, he says, Yeah,

1049
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 6: I don't think he's constantly apologizing through texts and stuff,

1050
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 6: and he's just send me pictures of something he made

1051
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,240
Speaker 6: with the sorry caption. I feel a bit bad for leaving.

1052
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 6: But it's just like that that is that's true?

1053
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 3: Is that the end of the story. I see the story,

1054
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 3: my gosh, the good good.

1055
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 6: Yeah. And I've never been drunk before. But if I

1056
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 6: get drunk and I'm calling my girlfriend ugly, it's like, yeah,

1057
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 6: why why are you with her?

1058
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah? I know, it's like it's not that's not something.

1059
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 3: That's just like like your mind doesn't change that much

1060
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 3: when you're drunk to have completely different opinions like that. Yeah,

1061
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 3: that's good.

1062
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, absolutely, And I mean like she gets drunk every day.

1063
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 3: So that's not true. That is so not true. But

1064
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 3: like like that commentary was saying. Yeah, like even if

1065
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 3: it's a thing to comment on people's appearances and have

1066
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 3: it not be like a big deal in those cultures

1067
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 3: and stuff, that's not the kind of thing that you

1068
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 3: would say, like that's obviously I don't know that specific

1069
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,319
Speaker 3: culture exactly, but from cultures that I know that they

1070
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 3: do that, like and just people, they it's always like, oh,

1071
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna be like honest about what you actually

1072
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 3: look like, or like what this and that is or whatever.

1073
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 3: But it's never like just making things up. So if

1074
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 3: he's just being honest, then he actually thinks you're ugly

1075
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 3: and you should not be together and you should not

1076
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 3: believe him when he's saying that you're pretty when you

1077
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 3: saw him, you know, say you're ugly behind your back.

1078
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 3: So yeah, but that is the end of that story,

1079
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 3: So let's get into the next one. My wife asks

1080
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 3: for divorce every time we argue. This time I.

1081
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 6: Agreed, Well you wanted to do it.

1082
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 3: I Luke thirty male and my soon to be ex,

1083
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 3: Katie thirty female, come from an Asian background. We started

1084
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 3: dating when we were seventeen. We were both each other's

1085
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 3: first everything. We were in love and things went on

1086
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 3: one date after another. She had very strict parents and

1087
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 3: we always had to sneak around even to go out.

1088
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 3: If we asked for permission, her parents would send her

1089
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 3: younger brother with her. Oh gosh. By the way, this

1090
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 3: comes from Okay Cicada eighty nine sixty six and if

1091
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1092
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 3: our slash okay story time is Subreddit. Me and my

1093
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 3: brother were raised by a single mother, and she did

1094
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 3: it all. She didn't have much help except for my

1095
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,919
Speaker 3: aunt mother's elder sister. She was in accounting and did

1096
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 3: her masters and got selected for law college, very competitive entrance,

1097
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,399
Speaker 3: by the way, she competed at law college within the

1098
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 3: top five people of her batch.

1099
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 2: Of very young people.

1100
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 3: Oh wow, she is my hero and my role model.

1101
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 3: My father was a very harmful guy. Oh sent my

1102
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 3: mother to the hospital in critical condition a couple of times,

1103
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 3: and that's why she left him and took us with her. Well,

1104
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 3: that's good of her at the very least. Yeah, she's

1105
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 3: a very open minded person and also very kind. I'm

1106
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 3: very close to her and have very good communication with her.

1107
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 3: I always wanted my significant other to be on good

1108
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 3: terms with my mother and Katie knew this. So back

1109
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 3: to the story. We were in love with each other,

1110
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 3: and for the beginning I always thought she would be

1111
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 3: my last. She made the best out of small chunks

1112
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 3: of time that we got to spend with each other.

1113
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 3: Mostly I would walk from my school to her school

1114
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 3: so that we can enjoy the bus ride from her school.

1115
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 3: Oh that's cute. We went through a phase of getting

1116
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 3: on again and off again due to her family pressures

1117
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 3: and her feeling guilty for sneaking around. I was more

1118
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 3: into studies than her. We have free education, so if

1119
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 3: you get into a state university, you have a full ride.

1120
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 3: But it's super competitive, so I worked my butt off

1121
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 3: and got into medicine. It was okay since we met regularly,

1122
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 3: but after getting into university, I think she got very insecure.

1123
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,760
Speaker 6: Every small thing set her off.

1124
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 3: She would always tell me that I'm going to leave

1125
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 3: her for someone else. Oh what? And if I had

1126
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 3: a female friend, or if someone flirted with me or

1127
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 3: asked me out. She would keep talking about it for years.

1128
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 3: But I kept on telling her everything to be transparent.

1129
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 3: It might not be the best thing.

1130
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: I think.

1131
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 6: If if I'm like, oh my gosh, I got talk

1132
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 6: to you, yeah, babe, Like put the heck that I

1133
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 6: talked to you.

1134
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then I keep saying like, oh yeah, another

1135
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 3: guy talk to me, and another guy talk to me

1136
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 3: even though I'm turning them down. You know what I mean.

1137
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 6: I think, Yeah, I think it's a little bit much

1138
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 6: on her end. Well, absolutely, if someone hit me, like

1139
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 6: hit on me, yeah, I don't know.

1140
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 3: My father and brother were both serial cheaters, and it

1141
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 3: had imprinted in my mind never to be unfaithful to

1142
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 3: her or leave her, and to make it work no

1143
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 3: matter what. She would always pick a fight with me

1144
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 3: once or twice every month. Then she would say sorry

1145
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 3: and make up. Now that I think about it, I'm

1146
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 3: surprised I survived in med school because I didn't do

1147
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 3: a single exam with proper peace of mind.

1148
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 6: Oh man.

1149
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 3: She didn't have any close friends, and she wasn't close

1150
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 3: with her family and cousins. She made me the center

1151
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 3: of her universe, and I encourage her to go out

1152
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 3: with her friends and be close to them, but she

1153
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 3: wasn't interested. There's one other topic that she fought with

1154
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 3: me over and over again. She would ask me who

1155
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 3: I love the most, her or my mother? Love This

1156
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 3: one Oh no. I always gave her the same answer.

1157
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 3: You two are the most important people in my life,

1158
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 3: and I love you both in two different But the

1159
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 3: constant pestering.

1160
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 6: Didn't go away.

1161
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 3: She always wanted me to choose after about five or

1162
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 3: six months. From each and every big fight we had,

1163
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 3: she gaslighted me into believing that I was at fault,

1164
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 3: and I ended up saying sorry. I didn't pick up

1165
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: on all this until I was twenty nine. So much gaslighting.

1166
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this hurts my heart for op.

1167
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is tough to watch.

1168
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:27,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, she had a very close relationship with my mother.

1169
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 3: That was a huge deal for me, or that's what

1170
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 3: she wanted us to think. But whenever we met her parents,

1171
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 3: there was nothing but boasting all the time. I've never

1172
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 3: met anyone that boasts that much, but we always thought

1173
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 3: Katie would be different from them. Fast forward to the

1174
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 3: final year of med school, we planned to get married.

1175
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 3: I wasn't involved in the planning at all. I let

1176
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 3: them do all the planning. The thing about my mother

1177
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 3: is that she would tolerate anything for her children. During

1178
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 3: planning stages, they treated my mother like a personal chauffeur.

1179
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,919
Speaker 3: Keep in mind that Katie and her mother don't work.

1180
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 3: My mom work in the city, so she would go

1181
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 3: to work clock in, do some work, drive back to

1182
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 3: pick them up, and drive back to the city for

1183
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 3: wedding shopping. Oh my gosh. Then she'd drop them off

1184
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 3: at their place and drive back to the city. My mom,

1185
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 3: bless her heart, didn't complain to me once. She had

1186
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 3: always thought that she shouldn't muddy my relationships with anyone

1187
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 3: just because she was treated poorly. I got to know

1188
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 3: how she was treated from Katie. She was telling me

1189
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 3: about wedding planning and I asked how it was going

1190
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,359
Speaker 3: and what they did in the last few days. She,

1191
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:32,359
Speaker 3: without realizing it, told me how they were dealing with

1192
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 3: my mother. I told her that that was disrespectful and selfish,

1193
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 3: how they treated her like a personal chauffeur. Then I

1194
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 3: told her not to do that, and I told her

1195
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,959
Speaker 3: to apologize to my mother. Then she did. My mother

1196
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,919
Speaker 3: didn't know that I spoke to Katie about it. Things

1197
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 3: went on and we had some really bad arguments with

1198
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 3: wedding planning. Her mother was too demanding about the things

1199
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 3: that she wanted, and we gave in to almost all

1200
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 3: of it. The first night after our honeymoon. I was

1201
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 3: studying since I had a lot to catch up on

1202
00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 3: from the days I missed for my wedding. She came

1203
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 3: in and said that she wanted to talk to me.

1204
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 3: Then she told me that she's afraid of me. What

1205
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 3: she said that she's afraid that I would physically harm her.

1206
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 3: What where is this coming from? By this point, we've

1207
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,959
Speaker 3: been together for nine years and I have never even

1208
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 3: raised my voice at her. When I asked her why

1209
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 3: she felt that way, she said it's because I'm a

1210
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 3: guy and I'm physically stronger than her. I asked her

1211
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 3: if I ever made her feel threatened or unprotected, and

1212
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 3: she said no. I asked if she watched some video

1213
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 3: on YouTube.

1214
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 6: She said no.

1215
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 3: This really broke me. I felt helpless and alone. I

1216
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 3: blamed myself for her feeling this way, and I couldn't

1217
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 3: get it out of my head that the person I

1218
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 3: love sees me as a threat. I thought that maybe

1219
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 3: that's because my father was an abuser. I don't think

1220
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 3: i've cried that much ever in my light, I was

1221
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 3: in emotional hech for a few weeks. She said she

1222
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 3: was sorry and told me that she was being honest

1223
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:48,400
Speaker 3: about what she felt. We rented an apartment after the wedding.

1224
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 3: Since no one was working. My mother paid the rent

1225
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 3: and took care of the expenses, while their parents chipped

1226
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 3: in sometimes for food.

1227
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1228
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 3: She doesn't know how to cook, so she would try

1229
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 3: recipes on the internet and mostly it would come out

1230
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 3: very bad. But I always ate everything and told her

1231
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 3: that I really liked it. Oh my gosh, Oh yeah,

1232
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:05,720
Speaker 3: it's so sweet.

1233
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 6: She's probably not even it's like the mom or this

1234
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 6: is the wife cooking. These were just right, buddy, will

1235
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 6: not take It's not that hard to cook. Yeah, it's

1236
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 6: not trying that hard.

1237
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1238
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 6: You don't any cook cook the mills we have cooked together,

1239
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 6: they're very easy. Yeah, just following instructions.

1240
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 3: It's possible. I'm not bine possible man. After a few

1241
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 3: days of living together, she started going through my phone.

1242
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 3: I didn't say anything. She would take my phone and

1243
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 3: start going through it and ask me about things that

1244
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 3: I talked about with my best friend. After a few

1245
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 3: days of this, I told her that it's not nice

1246
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 3: that she's reading messages of my friend because he sends

1247
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 3: me things that he won't be comfortable with. My wife

1248
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 3: knowing then she got really pissed and changed the password

1249
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 3: to her phone we had the same password, and deleted

1250
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 3: our entire chat from both of our phones that had

1251
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 3: about one hundred thousand messages. It was very sentimental to me.

1252
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 3: After my graduation, I started working and we were living

1253
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 3: with my parents, and she would leave to her parents'

1254
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 3: place or tell me to drop her there if I

1255
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 3: was working nights. She was getting along with my family

1256
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 3: before the wedding. I don't know if that was all

1257
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 3: in act, but when I asked why she leaves like that,

1258
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:13,760
Speaker 3: she gave me very bizarre reasons that when I asked

1259
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 3: more about she would changed the story. She wouldn't help

1260
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 3: her ound the house or do anything. When I asked

1261
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 3: if she went into work, she said no. We had

1262
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,280
Speaker 3: talked about this before and she seemed passionate and said

1263
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 3: that she wanted to work. Day by day, she seemed

1264
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 3: very different, more and more selfish. She wouldn't come out

1265
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 3: of the room and wouldn't talk to anyone until I

1266
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 3: got home. She seemed like a different person from what

1267
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 3: we saw before getting married. One day, I had a

1268
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 3: long three days at work, so I was awake for

1269
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 3: basically more than sixty hours. Oh my gosh.

1270
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 2: Wow.

1271
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,120
Speaker 3: Since I had night duty, she was at her parents place.

1272
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 3: I was about to sleep, and she asked me to

1273
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 3: help her with something very very simple. It was about

1274
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 3: logging into a website. I have saved the passwords and

1275
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 3: everything just needed a few clicks. I told her that

1276
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 3: I'm sleep deprived and asked her to get her brother,

1277
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 3: since he has a basic knowledge of how things work.

1278
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 6: She said that no one was home. I could help her.

1279
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 3: I tried to help her over the phone, but she

1280
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 3: said that she can't and told me to come. Oh

1281
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 3: my gosh, and I drove there. I was surprised to

1282
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 3: see everyone was home. When I was logging in, she

1283
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 3: was on her phone watching YouTube. I told her to

1284
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 3: pay attention. She shrugged it off. I got really annoyed.

1285
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 3: I'm annoyed too. Oh my gosh. This whole story, it

1286
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 3: just feels like she is just so controlling and so

1287
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 3: like manipulative of this man.

1288
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, you wrapped around her finger.

1289
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's so sad out there. Absolutely, it's so sad.

1290
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,360
Speaker 3: Because there was some sentence that Op wrote towards the

1291
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 3: beginning that was something about, like, you know, I never

1292
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: wanted to cheat on her, and I wanted to make

1293
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 3: this work no matter what. And I think that's what

1294
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 3: has been happening through this whole thing. I think he's

1295
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 3: so scared of just losing her and like having the

1296
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 3: relationship not work out, that he's not seeing that it's

1297
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 3: not up to him.

1298
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 6: It's just not working out anyway. Sometimes in the last falls,

1299
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 6: you just got to leave it a million pieces.

1300
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to fix it all the time. Yeah,

1301
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that is so sad, so sad. I

1302
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 3: drove back him. Looking back, it was a miracle. I'm

1303
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 3: still alive and didn't fall asleep at the wheel. I

1304
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 3: realized that she has taken me for granted and I'm

1305
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 3: the only one giving, and she's just gotten used to it.

1306
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,319
Speaker 3: But I endured everything. I wanted to make my marriage work.

1307
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 3: After some time of this routine, I asked her again

1308
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 3: why she's always going to her parents' place. She gave

1309
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 3: the usual answers, and I kept on digging, asking her

1310
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,720
Speaker 3: to clarify and pressed her on it, and she suddenly

1311
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 3: said that she wants a divorce. I stopped the argument,

1312
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,479
Speaker 3: What what that is? So random? Then, after things cooled down,

1313
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,799
Speaker 3: I asked her if she really wants a divorce. She

1314
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 3: said no, that she's sorry. Then I told her that

1315
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 3: it's not a word to be taken lightly. She agreed

1316
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 3: not to use it if she doesn't mean it. And

1317
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 3: there is a little bit more to the story. But

1318
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 3: this is just so sad. I really hope they break up. Yeah,

1319
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:44,879
Speaker 3: I hope he gets out of there.

1320
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 6: This is really tough to be taken for granted, and

1321
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 6: you know me, I will serve you. However, it is

1322
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 6: good to serve your wife. Yeah, but to a point, man,

1323
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 6: you gotta watch yourself. You're driving back and you almost

1324
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 6: didn't make a back rope.

1325
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 3: Come on, it's your safety. Your safety is literally involved.

1326
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 3: Just because she wanted to get into a website and

1327
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 3: didn't even want to learn how to do it herself.

1328
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 6: I bet you didn't even use the website afterwards.

1329
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,839
Speaker 3: Me too, I bet, I bet. But there's a little

1330
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,879
Speaker 3: bit more to the story. After that, whenever we talked

1331
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 3: about this subject, she would use the phrase I want

1332
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 3: to stop this instead of divorce, so that I would

1333
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,839
Speaker 3: stop asking her questions. To this day, I have no

1334
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 3: idea why she's leaving the house we live it. She

1335
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 3: would either use this strategy, or she would bring me

1336
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 3: a bottle of poison and ask me if she'd pass

1337
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,839
Speaker 3: away if she drank that. I was emotionally manipulated and

1338
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 3: traumatized like this by her so many times. One day

1339
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 3: when she said let's stop this, I said, okay, let's

1340
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 3: do that. Then I told her that I'm done with

1341
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 3: being treated this way and her selfish behaviors. So am

1342
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 3: I the ahole for proceeding with the divorce and not

1343
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,760
Speaker 3: listening to her pleadings and apologizing?

1344
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,440
Speaker 6: WHOA absolutely not?

1345
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 3: No, absolutely not.

1346
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, you gotta look out for number one. Yes, yourself. Yes,

1347
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,840
Speaker 6: and does not seem like she respects you or loves

1348
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 6: you enough to care about you. She seems very selfish. Yeah,

1349
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 6: self centered. Yeah, dude, you're good. Get out of there.

1350
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. Honestly, Like he's realized now that she's been manipulating

1351
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 3: him and it's been traumatizing him this whole time.

1352
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 6: Great, that's the first step is awareness.

1353
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 3: Yep, in literally any situation. So now that you know that,

1354
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 3: you can't go back and if she's been doing this

1355
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 3: the entire relationship, she's not going to change. No, she's

1356
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 3: not going to change. She has had the opportunity to

1357
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:28,959
Speaker 3: change and it's not gonna happen.

1358
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 6: So it sounds like, you know, trying to make a

1359
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 6: lot of healthy steps. She's just like, uh, divorce. I

1360
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 6: want to solve this. I'm gonna do something. She's avoiding it,

1361
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 6: she's avoiding hard conversations. Yeah.

1362
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:42,920
Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely so definitely not the ahle get the f

1363
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 3: out of there please?

1364
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 2: But yeah, is that the end.

1365
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 3: Of I see on the story?

1366
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:51,440
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam Oghust. We're gonnet back to these delectable stories.

1367
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

1368
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: help support the show.

1369
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 6: My husband wants to go on an international vacation with

1370
00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 6: his family while I'm pregnant.

1371
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 3: How pregnant is the real question?

1372
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 6: I'm female forty struggling with my husband, Mail forty two.

1373
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 6: I hadn't originally posted here thinking this was an issue

1374
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 6: with my in laws, but I realized the issue was

1375
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 6: with my husband and me. And by the way, this

1376
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 6: comes from FK one zero two five And if you

1377
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 6: want to speke your old stories, go to our slash

1378
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 6: Okay storytelling subreddit. In short, it seemed to me that

1379
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 6: my husband's parents and brother invited themselves on our baby

1380
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 6: moon we will be twenty six to twenty eight weeks

1381
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 6: pregnant on our travels. I have made it very clear

1382
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 6: to my husband that I wasn't interested in a family trip.

1383
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 6: He assured me that it wouldn't be the case and

1384
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 6: that we'd only have to see them for a limited

1385
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 6: amount of time. After several frights on the topic, my

1386
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 6: husband asked that we spend additional time with this family.

1387
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 6: I told him I was fine with them tagging along

1388
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 6: to do what we were doing, but that I wasn't

1389
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 6: interested in doing anything I didn't want to do or

1390
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 6: changing my plans for them. After another fight, my husband

1391
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 6: finally admitted that he didn't address this sooner because he

1392
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 6: didn't want to hear what I had to say and

1393
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 6: that he had certain obligations to our family. He wants

1394
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 6: me to be close with his family, and he feels

1395
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 6: like limiting our time with him when this vacation could

1396
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,919
Speaker 6: cause problems. I think he's asking for a lot from

1397
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 6: me to make more compromises than I have already offered

1398
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 6: with this vagation. The location we are going is only

1399
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 6: because our family has a connection to it. It's in

1400
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,680
Speaker 6: an eleven hour flight and I have to take an

1401
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 6: eight hour around trip train to get to where my

1402
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 6: in laws will be. There's no other reason that i'd

1403
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 6: go to that location. I'm trying to express the level

1404
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 6: of discomfort I could be in at this point in

1405
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 6: my pregnancy, and I feel like he isn't going to

1406
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 6: be recognizing that. I feel unsupported, and I'm very concerned

1407
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 6: about being prioritized on this trip and in the future.

1408
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 6: I don't even want to think about the baby and

1409
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 6: the fears abound. What is the governmise when we don't

1410
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 6: see to eye on family obligations. If it seems like

1411
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 6: it's going to be out of the way and the

1412
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 6: purposes for you guys to be close together. I don't

1413
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 6: think it's intended for them to be on this trip.

1414
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 6: Maybe playing another trip, Yeah, maybe.

1415
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 3: Just this, Like if they do a lot of him

1416
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 3: in vacations, like maybe this one is just one that

1417
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 3: you miss, you know, yeah, that he misses.

1418
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 6: That could be okay, Yeah, that sounds like the move. Yeah,

1419
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 6: I don't think you should force a vacation husband. Come on, dude,

1420
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 6: happy happy live, happy wife exactly. We got an updates

1421
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 6: to start. I oversimplified the baby moon my husband and

1422
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 6: I as well my in laws are American citizens living

1423
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 6: in the US. My in laws live about three hours

1424
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 6: away from US, and we see them several times a year.

1425
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 6: My father in law has been working in the UK

1426
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 6: since last summer, when we originally told he was just

1427
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 6: outside London. Prior to becoming pregnant, my husband and I

1428
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 6: agreed to come to visit. I'm a huge traveler and

1429
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 6: have several close friends in London. My husband has never been,

1430
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 6: so I figured this would be a perfect opportunity. We

1431
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 6: could stay with father in law for the time in

1432
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 6: London and then travel to Scotland on our own. Husband

1433
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,840
Speaker 6: and I both work demanding jobs and don't take much

1434
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 6: time off, so this would be our big trip for

1435
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 6: the year. Obviously, things change when we got pregnant. We

1436
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 6: still hope to see this trip as baby moon, but

1437
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 6: some changes would need to be made. We tendively blocked

1438
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 6: Midsummer as I will still be in my second try

1439
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 6: monster and the weather would be somewhat tolerable. My obee

1440
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 6: also approved the travel and timing. More on this later.

1441
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 6: Things started getting sketchy at the holidays. My father in

1442
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 6: law came home several weeks and we spent Christmas at

1443
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 6: their US home. Father in law shared info about his accommodations,

1444
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 6: which are actually in a very small town about two

1445
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 6: and a half hours outside of London. None of my

1446
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 6: British friends are aware of the town. My mother in

1447
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:33,240
Speaker 6: law also announced her plans to stay with father in

1448
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 6: law for several months, inclusive of when we'd be there,

1449
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 6: and encourage us to coordinate our plans with her brother

1450
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 6: in law. I immediately raise concerns to my husband about his

1451
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 6: family seemed to think this was a family vacation. I

1452
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 6: made it clear that I was interested in that for

1453
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 6: a number of reasons. We travel with them before and

1454
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 6: it was a nightmare for me. Plus, I let it

1455
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 6: be known that my vacation time is precious and I

1456
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 6: want it to be what I want to do, especially

1457
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 6: given this will be my life last trip without a baby. Ooh,

1458
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 6: that's why people take baby moons. Baby moons.

1459
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 3: I've never heard of that term.

1460
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, dude, baby like we should.

1461
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 3: What is it?

1462
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 6: I'll show you, I'll show you on't theyre Okay? It's

1463
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 6: basically my parents went in a baby moon, but Sawyer

1464
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:20,200
Speaker 6: was with them. They just they just went to the

1465
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 6: beach with Sawyer without me.

1466
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 3: In tape is it just a trip without kids before

1467
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 3: a baby comes.

1468
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:26,800
Speaker 6: Well, they had a trip with Sawyer and they just

1469
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 6: went without me. In take, is that what it's supposed

1470
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 6: to be. I don't know.

1471
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 3: Then, you don't know what a baby moon is.

1472
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 6: Well, it sounds like a it sounds like a trip

1473
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 6: before the baby, and it's just like a time to

1474
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 6: be together last before you have another additional family members.

1475
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 3: What I said off of me, Well, anyway, so yeah,

1476
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 3: he wanted a baby moon, but everyone wants to be together.

1477
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 6: Everyone wants to be together. He assured me that he'd

1478
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 6: be talking to his mom about traveling with his brother.

1479
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 6: That He also brushed it off as me overreacting. This

1480
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 6: should have been a bigger red flag for me. Over

1481
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 6: the next two months, I grew more and more concerned.

1482
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 6: I ever heard conversations with my husband and his family

1483
01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 6: and whether they say anything about this trip. He didn't

1484
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 6: overly correct them. I would try to talk to them

1485
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 6: about it, and he gased like me, saying I was

1486
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 6: making up problems in my head or I didn't know

1487
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,000
Speaker 6: what I was talking about. And I had even suggested

1488
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 6: canceling our flights and going elsewhere just the two of us,

1489
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 6: or I offered for him to go to the UK

1490
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 6: with his family while I would do something more relaxing

1491
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 6: with friends and my family. Every discussion turned into an argument. Finally,

1492
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 6: I built a tentative itinerary for our trip, which included

1493
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 6: two full days and nights at a small town they'll

1494
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:32,080
Speaker 6: be staying at. I also offered for anyone to join

1495
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 6: us on any part of travels around the UK, but

1496
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 6: stressed a few key points. No one is sharing a

1497
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 6: hotel room with us, and I am not changing my

1498
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 6: plans for anyone. If they don't want to do something

1499
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 6: I want to do, they don't have to. So it

1500
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 6: sounds like she's compromised.

1501
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 3: Compromises are good.

1502
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 6: She's compromised for the family to come along, but she

1503
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 6: has these two things, these only two things.

1504
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 3: Do we think if they're going to happen?

1505
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,880
Speaker 6: Conversely, if they want to do something, then I'm not

1506
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 6: doing it. The final straw came about two weeks ago

1507
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 6: when they were asking to re arrange days more convenient

1508
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 6: for them, which I accommodated, and my brother in law

1509
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:05,880
Speaker 6: expressed his desire for all of us to go to

1510
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 6: Paris to meet up with a friend. This friend is

1511
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 6: an OnlyFans model less than half his age, who he

1512
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 6: has never met in person. I lost it and told

1513
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,919
Speaker 6: my husband I didn't want anything to do with brother

1514
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 6: in law anymore and his family could do their own thing.

1515
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 6: We would still go to their small town for two

1516
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 6: nights non refernable train tickets, but that's all I'm willing

1517
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 6: to give. And that's when my husband started with the

1518
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:28,160
Speaker 6: talk about there will be a level of obligation to

1519
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:30,960
Speaker 6: travel with them and how I'm unwilling to compromise. It

1520
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 6: was after that lost conversation that I posted. I felt

1521
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 6: crazy that my husband and I could be so misaligned

1522
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 6: on this. After reading the replies, I met with my

1523
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 6: doctor once again to discuss any concerns. She still gave

1524
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 6: me her blessing. While I'm in an advanced maternal age,

1525
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 6: I do not have any other major risks. I am

1526
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 6: a healthy way and worked about four to five days

1527
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 6: a week prior to pregnancy. I wish I could say

1528
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 6: I kept that up, but it's more like two to

1529
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 6: three days now. I'm still very active and I've been

1530
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 6: lucky with the pregnancy so far. I also have compression

1531
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 6: and socks and plan to get up every hour for

1532
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 6: stretches on the flight. I'm going to a destination with

1533
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 6: excellent health care. My best friend is also a physician,

1534
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 6: and are only concerned for me around distress caused by

1535
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 6: the in laws. All that said, I'll continue to matter

1536
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 6: how I feel, and if there's anything concerning, plans will change.

1537
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 6: In terms of my husband.

1538
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 2: He has since.

1539
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 6: Apologized profusely and recognize the major problem he caused. He

1540
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 6: told his family we will not be traveling with them,

1541
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 6: and they are very understanding. The problem was never with

1542
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 6: them to begin with, but always my husband. We had

1543
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 6: several unrelated but similar issues where he people pleases other

1544
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 6: at my expense. Yeah, I was about to say, I

1545
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:40,560
Speaker 6: could see that. Yeah, that's not very surprising to me

1546
01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:41,919
Speaker 6: at all. Is that we're going on a trip.

1547
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, we want to come?

1548
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, totally, go go for it, go for sure,

1549
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 6: come along. Meanwhile, the pregnant wife is like, uh uh,

1550
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 6: what what's going on here? They're coming to ut He

1551
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,480
Speaker 6: admitted that his inmo is always that he thinks I'll

1552
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 6: eventually change my mind. He'll say things like you and

1553
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:01,280
Speaker 6: the baby are the center of my world, and I

1554
01:06:01,320 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 6: have to remind him that his actions tell me otherwise,

1555
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 6: and and gee, what do you think? Do you think

1556
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:09,440
Speaker 6: this is a good step that they're taking. But they

1557
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 6: seems to be on the same page now.

1558
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 3: I think it's good that he's aware of it. Absolutely.

1559
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 3: I think it's good that he's admitting.

1560
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:17,800
Speaker 6: Like, Okay, yeah, this is what I do. Usually, I'm

1561
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 6: not gonna hide it or sugarcoat it.

1562
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 3: I do kind of use you as as like, you know,

1563
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 3: a fallback or whatever. I fall on this excuse. I

1564
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:27,800
Speaker 3: don't know how I'm trying to say that. But and

1565
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 3: he's he's understanding that that's a problem, and that's great

1566
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,480
Speaker 3: because then they can talk and figure out a solution.

1567
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 3: I think they're on a green track.

1568
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:35,680
Speaker 6: I agree.

1569
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 3: I agree.

1570
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 6: I think at the beginning it didn't sound like a

1571
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:41,040
Speaker 6: baby moon. After we got clarified, didn't sound like a

1572
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 6: baby moon, and then things kind of got misaligned, and

1573
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 6: I was like, okay, this this makes sense. Why everyone's

1574
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,960
Speaker 6: like kind of confused? I was kind of confused.

1575
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:48,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1576
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:51,280
Speaker 6: Same. We have been in couple counseling for help with

1577
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 6: communication for about two years, but it stopped last summer.

1578
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 6: It's clear we still need some more help. I'm insisting

1579
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:58,520
Speaker 6: we started up again. At this point I'm feeling a

1580
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,160
Speaker 6: lot better than I did when I posted, but I'm

1581
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:04,760
Speaker 6: familiar with the temporary relief that comes with after these issues.

1582
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 6: I'm so uneasy about what will be the next thing,

1583
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 6: and hoping we can get into therapy before that happens,

1584
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 6: and especially before you have that baby come along shoes. Yes, yes,

1585
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 6: definitely hit up therapy. Please be on the same page.

1586
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, for the love of that child.

1587
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:21,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great idea just in general, to go

1588
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 3: to therapy before having a baby nine months, nine months,

1589
01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 3: way more than nine months. Mister.

1590
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:31,800
Speaker 6: We do, we do, we do, just jerking and that's

1591
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:34,200
Speaker 6: the end of that story. We love you and see

1592
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 6: you tomorrow.