WEBVTT - "I COLLECT PEOPLE'S HAIR"

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, Hey is this John?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is John.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on with you? John?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I, as I talked to the person earlier,

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<v Speaker 2>I think I have a problem.

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<v Speaker 1>My problem. You have a problem collect Yeah, you said

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<v Speaker 1>you collect hair?

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<v Speaker 3>That is correct.

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<v Speaker 1>What kind of hair?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, just you know, human hair. Not really my own,

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<v Speaker 2>because you know I see that every day in the

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<v Speaker 2>mirror and whatnot. But other people, other people's hair. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty years old, and I think it's starting to

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<v Speaker 2>get a problem. Considering how old I.

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<v Speaker 1>Am, how long have you been collecting other people's hair.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd probably say two to three years. But the problem

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<v Speaker 2>is hair disintegrates after a few weeks, because you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just dead skin cells that you know, disintegrate and whatnot.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I definitely say it's a problem. I collect

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<v Speaker 2>other people's hair. You know, it's almost like a game

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<v Speaker 2>to me, and that is a big issue.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me what you mean by it's a game to you.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, if I find, if I'm at work

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<v Speaker 2>or at school or whatnot, if I find, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>a clump of someone's hair in the ground, that would,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, in my head, be like worth more than

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<v Speaker 2>just finding a singular strain of hair m and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>over time, when I bring them back to my house

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<v Speaker 2>or wherever I'm keeping them, I don't know, I kind

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<v Speaker 2>of see what I've done for today.

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<v Speaker 1>And so these these hairs are are like points to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Almost, yeah, like like a point system with hair.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me ask you a question really quick.

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<v Speaker 2>What would that be?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you fucking with me?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm not fucking with you.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not fucking with me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not. Over time, the disintegrate, but you know, after

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<v Speaker 2>a while, a couple of days, you know, I just

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes I throw them out, but sometimes I keep certain

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<v Speaker 2>ones that I like. I've also thought about. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>I've gotten really good at, you know, looking at other

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<v Speaker 2>people's hair, how long it is, what colored is, whatnot.

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<v Speaker 3>I wonder if, like.

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<v Speaker 2>I could become a pretty good crime scene investigator if

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<v Speaker 2>there was hair involved.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't know, interesting. Interesting. So you're good

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<v Speaker 1>at taking little pieces of hair and matching them to

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<v Speaker 1>their source.

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<v Speaker 3>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, tell me what is it in a particular strain

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<v Speaker 1>or clump of hair that makes you attracted to it?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Hair is just very individual, and I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like, you know, it's a part of somebody. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a like, like, I don't know a very small sample

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<v Speaker 2>of what someone is, and I don't know, just seeing

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<v Speaker 2>what that could lead to, I feel like that's somewhat

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<v Speaker 2>interesting to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. So you like how the piece of hair

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<v Speaker 1>theoretically represents a small part of a much larger human being.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm pretty pretty sure you just nailed it.

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<v Speaker 1>M So when you find clumps of hair just on

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<v Speaker 1>the floor, do you do you think about the people

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<v Speaker 1>to whom the hair once belonged?

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<v Speaker 3>Always?

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<v Speaker 1>And how does that work? Always imagine those people?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, sometimes it's hard to you know, put a

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<v Speaker 2>face to you know, a singular piece of hair that

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<v Speaker 2>I found on the ground, you know, But I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I just I create like a fictional person that

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<v Speaker 2>I think it could have belonged to. You know, if

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<v Speaker 2>I find a you know, a short piece of brown hair,

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<v Speaker 2>like some random guy, I don't know, just create some

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<v Speaker 2>fictitious guy. Or you know, if I find a long

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<v Speaker 2>piece of blonde hair, like what girl that could have

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<v Speaker 2>belonged to?

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<v Speaker 3>And whatnot?

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<v Speaker 1>And does uh do you think that just from a

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<v Speaker 1>clump of hair or strain of hair you can tell

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<v Speaker 1>anything about the person to whom it belonged.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you if you had, like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of scientific objects and whatnot, and where you

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<v Speaker 2>know some sort of scientists probably, but just me, I

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<v Speaker 2>really don't think I can make an accurate depiction of

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<v Speaker 2>what the person would look like.

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<v Speaker 1>And do you only do you only find clumps of

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<v Speaker 1>hair that are kind of randomly laying about, or do

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<v Speaker 1>you ever go out of your way to procure a

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<v Speaker 1>certain person's hair?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, sometimes when I'm kind of getting into the game,

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<v Speaker 2>and I mean this kind of fictitious game, I do

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<v Speaker 2>go out of my way sometimes to get people's hair.

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<v Speaker 2>But most of the time it's just me randomly stumbling

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<v Speaker 2>upon hair on a random surface.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you doing when you're going after a certain

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<v Speaker 1>person's hair? How do you usually get their hair?

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, there's.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really think I've gone after a specific person's hair,

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<v Speaker 2>but I've just kind of been trying to find where

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<v Speaker 2>hair would be in order to get more points.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's good.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's good that I'm not trying to specifically

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<v Speaker 2>find one person's hair. But you know, commonplaces carpets, as

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<v Speaker 2>I said earlier, are pretty big other surfaces would be nice,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, countertops and whatnot. And you know, maybe I

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<v Speaker 2>know this might sound gross, but you know, if I

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<v Speaker 2>find a straight hair brush, you know, that's that's a

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<v Speaker 2>gold mine.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you do with these hairs? Where do you

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<v Speaker 1>where do you sort of keep them and put them?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, Like obviously, if I'm you know, walking around,

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<v Speaker 2>I would probably just keep them in my pocket or

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes maybe my wallet also, and then once I get

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<v Speaker 2>back home, you know, I just think about them, and

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<v Speaker 2>I have a little drawler actually for some of them.

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<v Speaker 2>Once they kind of start to wither, I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>sweep them up and dump them out, But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I sometimes I keep them in there.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, it says here that you are worried that this

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<v Speaker 1>might be a weird habit. Is that a legitimate concern?

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<v Speaker 2>Ye?

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I could be able to I think

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<v Speaker 2>it would be very easy to break this habit. But

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<v Speaker 2>it is definitely a problem because it is very strange

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<v Speaker 2>in my mind. But yet I like doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you see yourself anytime soon ceasing your collection of hair?

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<v Speaker 2>I think so, and I really hope so, because just

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<v Speaker 2>this conversation alone has made me think, like Wow, this

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<v Speaker 2>is an issue, and I think talking about how weird

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<v Speaker 2>it is is probably enough for me to stop. But

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<v Speaker 2>you know, there's a chance, and I kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>the thrill of you know, finding you know, a pretty

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<v Speaker 2>decent sized clump of hair.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm not sure. So so you say that that

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<v Speaker 1>having this conversation is causing you to realize that it

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<v Speaker 1>might be a problem. I have. I have a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of questions about that. First, before we before we move on,

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<v Speaker 1>have you talked to anyone else about this?

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<v Speaker 3>I have?

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<v Speaker 1>Not nobody, really, not a single person.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't. You know, sometimes I when I'm you know,

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<v Speaker 2>alone for a while and I kind of just get

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<v Speaker 2>wrapped up and doing my own thing. I don't really

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<v Speaker 2>think it's something I need to tell other people.

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<v Speaker 5>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And then, what about this conversation has made you realize

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<v Speaker 1>that this might be a weird habit.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I'm talking about it to somebody else and thinking

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<v Speaker 2>about what you might be thinking about this is probably

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<v Speaker 2>enough for me to realize that it's very weird. Considering

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<v Speaker 2>you might think that it is a strange habit.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm not really thinking about whether or not it's

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<v Speaker 1>a strange habit. I'm just sort of picking apart your

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<v Speaker 1>feelings about it. But it sounds like your feelings about

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<v Speaker 1>it are evolving for you to believe that it is

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<v Speaker 1>a strange habit that you should stop doing.

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<v Speaker 3>You are correct.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like it'll be easy for you to

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<v Speaker 1>stop doing this?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, as I said, I think it should be

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<v Speaker 2>moderately easy. But you know, I haven't really tried to

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<v Speaker 2>stop it. You know, this has been going on for,

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<v Speaker 2>as I said, a couple of years, now, two years,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd say, maybe, So, I don't know. What do you

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<v Speaker 2>think I should do to stop this?

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<v Speaker 5>Well?

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<v Speaker 1>I think I think it would be better for you

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<v Speaker 1>to get a new hobby. Do you have any other

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<v Speaker 1>hobbies that you might be able to get more invested

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<v Speaker 1>in than than hair?

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<v Speaker 2>Collect something else that is probably probably not something that

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<v Speaker 2>belongs to other people's bodies, Just you know, some sort

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<v Speaker 2>of other collection might be at a start.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, what do you do? You do you have

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<v Speaker 1>any ideas of other things you might want to collect

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<v Speaker 1>that is not human hair.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm big into plants and animals. Maybe one of those too,

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<v Speaker 2>perhaps like plants.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's do plants? Should get into plants? To be a

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<v Speaker 1>plant guy, go learn about all the different types of Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>may call like a botanist, and you know, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's a uh you're still sort of uh collecting.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I know, hair is not alive, but it

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<v Speaker 1>came from a living thing. You are still you are

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<v Speaker 1>satisfying whatever urge you have to collect living things. But

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<v Speaker 1>they are their plants.

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<v Speaker 2>And I suppose that's all those prepeaks that doesn't from

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<v Speaker 2>other people.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I think you can get away with the plants.

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<v Speaker 2>Could I eventually become a botanist after this?

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<v Speaker 1>I think so. It sounds like this collection, this collecting

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<v Speaker 1>thing has has opened up a lot of career paths

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<v Speaker 1>for you.

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<v Speaker 2>That is true.

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<v Speaker 1>You knowing that you want to say to the people

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<v Speaker 1>of the computer before we go.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I hope that people of the computer aren't

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<v Speaker 2>too embarrassed or embarrassed for me. So I hope they

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<v Speaker 2>know that I'm trying to make changes in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>I think they do, and I hope.

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<v Speaker 2>That people of the computer can support me.

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<v Speaker 1>Have a good hat John YouTube Geck Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hi, Hello, who's this?

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<v Speaker 1>Don't say? Who is this? You called me?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh my gosh, Oh sorry, okay, I look he's in

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<v Speaker 5>the stream.

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't realize I was talking to you.

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<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

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<v Speaker 5>My name is Esther.

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<v Speaker 1>Esther I loved her is one of the names of

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<v Speaker 1>have you ever? Are you Jewish at all?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah? I am.

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<v Speaker 5>It's you talk about Queen Esther.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Queen Esther from the Poorum Story. What did she do?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you remember what she actually did?

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<v Speaker 5>It's gonna be a bad Jew. I can't. I think

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<v Speaker 5>I know she had a girl boss moment.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh you know what?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I remember? I remember she had her

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<v Speaker 1>girl boss moment. Was like, okay, all right, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>hail Mary here. I don't remember this exactly, but I

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<v Speaker 1>think Hayman had a plan to like kill all of

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<v Speaker 1>the Jews, and and Queen Esther found out about the

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<v Speaker 1>plan and she was, wait, okay, now remembering this, this

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<v Speaker 1>was so dumb. She had a plan to tell King

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<v Speaker 1>a hash You remember King a Hash Faroche.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yep.

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<v Speaker 1>She had a plan to tell the King of hot

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<v Speaker 1>to tell King Ahash Faroche. Hey, Hayman's gonna kill all

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<v Speaker 1>the Jews. But the thing about King Ahash Faroche is

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<v Speaker 1>you are not allowed to go even if you're his wife,

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<v Speaker 1>You're not allowed to go into King ahash Faroch's chamber

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<v Speaker 1>without being summoned. And if you do, if you go

0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.760
<v Speaker 1>to see King o Hajh Faroche when he didn't summon you,

0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 1>if you just go without making an appointment, he kills you.

0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 1>Like that's the Yeah, even for his wife. Do you

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:26.360
<v Speaker 1>remember this?

0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:29.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, you had a whole bunch of wives and she

0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.680
<v Speaker 5>was like really young. I think she met been a

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:32.720
<v Speaker 5>teenager or something.

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:35.240
<v Speaker 1>Dude, Port was kind of fucked up, like that's stupid.

0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:36.640
<v Speaker 1>Why would you have that rule? Why would you kill

0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.880
<v Speaker 1>your wife just for saying hi to you or you know,

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 1>coming to see you.

0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.600
<v Speaker 5>It is I also love the holiday because it's like,

0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:47.200
<v Speaker 5>you know, it feels like it's for me almost. It's

0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:48.320
<v Speaker 5>like my time to shine.

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.920
<v Speaker 1>What is going on with you today? Asked her?

0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:57.559
<v Speaker 5>Oh yeah, okay, cat Hupping. I wanted to talk about

0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 5>Cat Hupping uh because yeah, like hu ff or like

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.559
<v Speaker 5>yeah h u f f I n G I'm the

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:09.320
<v Speaker 5>terrible feller.

0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, okay.

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.319
<v Speaker 5>So I recently kind of found out about this, I

0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 5>guess not recently, a couple of months ago, where like

0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.720
<v Speaker 5>if you deeply kind of like inhale your cat's fur

0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 5>and like really get your nose in there. It's a

0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:28.840
<v Speaker 5>really calm smell and it's a really like nice smell.

0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 5>It's a different smell for everyone, Like for me, it's

0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:35.640
<v Speaker 5>like a warm oatmeal kind of cinnamon cinnamon, Oh god,

0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 5>I can't pronounce it.

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 4>Cinnamon.

0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.600
<v Speaker 5>You smell and like it turns out because like cats

0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.000
<v Speaker 5>smell at your house, so it's like you're smelling your house,

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 5>which is weird. Don only smell oatmeal, but my cat

0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.080
<v Speaker 5>smells like it. So I think it's a good sign.

0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:51.000
<v Speaker 5>So how does this.

0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.400
<v Speaker 1>Feel about being huffed?

0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:59.680
<v Speaker 5>One of them likes it because she likes attention and

0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:01.760
<v Speaker 5>she like being held, and I kind of just like

0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:05.480
<v Speaker 5>hold her and kind of like inhale for a few

0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.240
<v Speaker 5>minutes and just really you know, really good in there.

0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.520
<v Speaker 5>But the other one is not really a fan, so

0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:13.120
<v Speaker 5>I like I leave her alone. Sometimes if she's sleeping

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.680
<v Speaker 5>and she's like dead asleep, I'll get a quick cup

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 5>in there, you know, But I don't try to bother

0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:21.400
<v Speaker 5>her when she's awakes. I know she's not staying. Now.

0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:22.840
<v Speaker 1>You say you are addicted to.

0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:26.200
<v Speaker 5>This, Yeah, but I don't want to stop, you know,

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.000
<v Speaker 5>Like it's I think it's a good a good addiction.

0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.400
<v Speaker 1>A good addiction. Do you think, Okay, let's explore this.

0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:40.440
<v Speaker 1>Do you think there are any negative things about being

0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 1>addicted to huffing cats?

0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.960
<v Speaker 5>You know, I guess with my other cat, it annoys her.

0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 5>So the negative is, you know, an annoyed cat, which

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:51.960
<v Speaker 5>is fair.

0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Well, here's the thing about cats is do you feed

0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:56.600
<v Speaker 1>this cat?

0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 4>I do a pair rent.

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:03.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you pay the rent for the cat as well? Yeah?

0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 5>They both have pet rents.

0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:11.560
<v Speaker 1>What's the I don't know what this might be chauvinistic

0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.360
<v Speaker 1>for toward cats. I don't know if I'm using not

0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:18.080
<v Speaker 1>using that word right, but not to say that. You know,

0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.240
<v Speaker 1>the cats owe you anything, but they do. They do

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:26.120
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. Hey, yeah, house them, you feed them,

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:30.200
<v Speaker 1>you clean them, you take care of them. You get

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 1>away every once in a while.

0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, Like I literally tell that numb to their faces.

0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:37.920
<v Speaker 5>Like if I'm like a few minutes late for dinner

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.120
<v Speaker 5>and I get yelled at, I'm like, listen, I am

0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.200
<v Speaker 5>paying for all these nice things. I got you an

0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 5>individual fan to follow you around this summer to cool you.

0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:49.440
<v Speaker 1>I got her to follow her around? Like, how does

0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 1>it follow her around?

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:51.840
<v Speaker 6>Oh?

0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.320
<v Speaker 5>Well, I fall around the fan. It's horrible.

0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 1>It's she's like you follow her around with a fan

0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 1>when during the summer when she gets.

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:05.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh yeah, but here's the thing, she makes me nervous.

0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:06.399
<v Speaker 1>Dude, you earned it.

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:08.639
<v Speaker 6>That's true.

0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.960
<v Speaker 5>That's true because she likes to go into the hot

0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.840
<v Speaker 5>parts of my apartment I guess the apartment of house.

0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 5>But she's a long haired cat, so you would think

0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.880
<v Speaker 5>she'd want to be closest to my ac unit, right,

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.160
<v Speaker 5>But she like goes to the hottest part of my apartment,

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:27.080
<v Speaker 5>just lazier, and it makes me so nervous. So I

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.520
<v Speaker 5>just started to following her around the spand but I

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 5>don't think she likes a fan because she'll walk away

0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 5>from it.

0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.360
<v Speaker 1>Listen esther. I think if you wanted to eat one

0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.040
<v Speaker 1>of those cats, you would be justified.

0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:40.280
<v Speaker 5>Oh I don't know if I could. I feel like

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.720
<v Speaker 5>they could eat me if I, like die in this apartment,

0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:46.199
<v Speaker 5>I'd give them permission to eat my dead body. But

0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.800
<v Speaker 5>I don't know if I could do the same to them.

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Hm hmm.

0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:51.200
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:56.760
<v Speaker 1>I feel like this is a new breaking point in

0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:59.480
<v Speaker 1>the relationship between you and your cats. But don't don't

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 1>get too about it, you know, don't don't go you know,

0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:08.520
<v Speaker 1>take take your minimum with quota. But don't you know,

0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:14.240
<v Speaker 1>don't go overboard for your sake. Not But we haven't

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.359
<v Speaker 1>done enough scientific studies on the effect of cat for

0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.280
<v Speaker 1>on the human brain. So tread lak.

0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I could be the first dogeest of that study.

0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Esther, is there anything else you want to say to

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:26.400
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go?

0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.320
<v Speaker 5>Yes, everyone, huff your cats. If you don't have a cat,

0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 5>you can find one outside pretty easily. They might not

0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:37.040
<v Speaker 5>like it, but with the shot, I just wanted to

0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 5>get that out there, you know, spread the words.

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:42.080
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for calling Esther, thank you, and thank you

0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:42.800
<v Speaker 1>for talking to me.

0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:43.960
<v Speaker 5>It was an honor.

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:50.720
<v Speaker 1>You heard it from Esther. If you see a stray

0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.439
<v Speaker 1>cat walking around, doesn't matter what street you found it on,

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter where you found it. Could have been the dumpster,

0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 1>it could have been a pool. Give it with. See

0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:11.640
<v Speaker 1>what happens. You only live once, try new things. Hello there,

0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.280
<v Speaker 1>Hi is this moody?

0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.520
<v Speaker 6>H that's me?

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:19.760
<v Speaker 1>What's going on? Moody?

0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.560
<v Speaker 4>Well, I just got in from male school and my

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:28.280
<v Speaker 4>boyfriend was watching the show. So I was like, let

0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:31.080
<v Speaker 4>me try to call a number. And here I am.

0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Here we are. We are on the phone talking to

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:40.200
<v Speaker 1>each other. Uh, what's going on with you moody?

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 4>Well, like I said, I just started mail school, so

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.399
<v Speaker 4>that's kind of new and overwhelming, as I've kind of

0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:53.560
<v Speaker 4>catastrophically failed or quit every other sort of endeavor I've

0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:57.280
<v Speaker 4>ever taken on. So I'm still trying though.

0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:03.879
<v Speaker 1>Well, it says here that you are to nail school,

0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.639
<v Speaker 1>you have a movement disorder, and you feel nervous about

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:14.960
<v Speaker 1>taking a new trajectory in life. Yes, it says here

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.520
<v Speaker 1>you've constantly failed school and careers. Is that accurate?

0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:20.679
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.679
<v Speaker 1>Would you just when you say you have failed school

0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:28.320
<v Speaker 1>and careers, tell me about the last career that you failed?

0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:33.879
<v Speaker 4>The last one? I was working front desk at a

0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:39.600
<v Speaker 4>pediatric c office and I was hired. They said that

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:41.960
<v Speaker 4>I would be trained under this lady who had like

0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:45.320
<v Speaker 4>thirty plus years of experience, but then she quit because

0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:47.280
<v Speaker 4>she couldn't handle the stress of that place, and then

0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:49.639
<v Speaker 4>all of it, the entire front end.

0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Was just me.

0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And you said you failed? What is your definition

0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.680
<v Speaker 1>of failing? What do you mean you failed this job?

0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:00.600
<v Speaker 4>I had to quit. I was a living every day

0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 4>where I was just constantly afraid. My anxiety was the

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:07.639
<v Speaker 4>worst I've ever been, and I this is where we

0:21:07.720 --> 0:21:11.679
<v Speaker 4>get into personal hypothesis here, But I think that's the

0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:14.439
<v Speaker 4>straw that broke the camel's back in terms of giving

0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:16.480
<v Speaker 4>me that. Well, I shouldn't said movement disorder. I should

0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:21.280
<v Speaker 4>have said neurological disorder. But yeah, that I think that's

0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:24.280
<v Speaker 4>what broke. That was the final thing that made me

0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:25.640
<v Speaker 4>get the neurological disorder.

0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna sling some of that corny, feel good bullshit

0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:38.560
<v Speaker 1>at you because I got a thought. Yeah, you know,

0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:43.280
<v Speaker 1>if a job is causing you an immense amount of

0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:49.439
<v Speaker 1>stress and pain and so you leave it, I do

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.359
<v Speaker 1>not consider that a failure. I actually consider that a

0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:59.680
<v Speaker 1>strength because to me, if you have the self awareness

0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 1>to go, Okay, this thing that I'm doing with my

0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:08.240
<v Speaker 1>short amount of time that I have on this earth

0:22:08.960 --> 0:22:14.680
<v Speaker 1>is causing me a great amount of distress, I'm going

0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:18.280
<v Speaker 1>to leave, It's not a failure. I don't look at

0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:22.320
<v Speaker 1>that as a failure. Why do you do you with

0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:24.120
<v Speaker 1>what I've just said, what do what do you think

0:22:24.160 --> 0:22:26.359
<v Speaker 1>about that perspective on it?

0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:31.480
<v Speaker 4>I hear you, and that's that's something I try to

0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:35.600
<v Speaker 4>tell myself. I think at the time I've really looked

0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:37.679
<v Speaker 4>at it as a failure because it was really my

0:22:37.760 --> 0:22:42.440
<v Speaker 4>only shot out of getting out of like retail sort

0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 4>of sales type jobs, which had been eating me alive

0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:47.400
<v Speaker 4>up to that point. I was like, Okay, well, maybe

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't have to do retail or sales anymore. I

0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.399
<v Speaker 4>can just be that I can be a medical and

0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:55.920
<v Speaker 4>that can I guess people could, or in my mind,

0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:58.600
<v Speaker 4>I would perceive that people would respect me more if

0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:00.439
<v Speaker 4>I said that I worked in a medical field as

0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:03.520
<v Speaker 4>opposed to you know, front desk at a gym or

0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:05.400
<v Speaker 4>something like that, when I don't even work out, So

0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:06.239
<v Speaker 4>can I can?

0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:09.119
<v Speaker 1>I ask you a question. You said that you're looking

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:13.080
<v Speaker 1>at the front desk at the pediatric's office as the

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:17.920
<v Speaker 1>only way that you can escape from doing retail. Why

0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:19.640
<v Speaker 1>do you look at it as the only way?

0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:24.879
<v Speaker 4>Well not anymore really. At the time I did. But

0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:28.320
<v Speaker 4>now I've kind of found nails for myself. I'm just

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:32.160
<v Speaker 4>hoping that I can maintain that and that I guess

0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 4>my physical I guess what I struggle with physically won't

0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:40.000
<v Speaker 4>set me back from doing nails.

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:47.440
<v Speaker 1>So you were in retail and now, okay, so you

0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:50.840
<v Speaker 1>went from pediatrics, did you go back for it? Doesn't matter.

0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:52.720
<v Speaker 1>So now you're in mail school. It's good. It's cuts

0:23:52.720 --> 0:23:54.199
<v Speaker 1>it out. We don't need to know what you did

0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:58.040
<v Speaker 1>after the pediatric's office. How is nail school going?

0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:02.679
<v Speaker 4>Well, well, I just finished day two, so we're still

0:24:02.680 --> 0:24:05.440
<v Speaker 4>on a bone set. We haven't even hit like theory

0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:09.200
<v Speaker 4>or how to sanitize or anything like that. It's strictly

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 4>just how to be professional is just like a I mean,

0:24:12.840 --> 0:24:13.640
<v Speaker 4>so far so good?

0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Great? Is this like a trade school? Like you

0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:21.240
<v Speaker 1>get some sort of license or some shit, and then

0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:24.600
<v Speaker 1>you preciate to a salon and then now you're able

0:24:24.640 --> 0:24:30.360
<v Speaker 1>to work there. Yes, okay, And you said so far

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:31.080
<v Speaker 1>so good?

0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:34.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so far so good.

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Let me ask you this. Do you what made

0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:42.000
<v Speaker 1>you choose to go to nails school?

0:24:44.960 --> 0:24:47.919
<v Speaker 4>I chose to go to nail school. Well, it was

0:24:48.080 --> 0:24:50.560
<v Speaker 4>kind of my I was telling a boyfriend that I

0:24:50.600 --> 0:24:53.199
<v Speaker 4>wanted to have my nails done because I never got

0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:55.440
<v Speaker 4>my nails done growing up because I always played the piano.

0:24:56.080 --> 0:24:59.040
<v Speaker 4>But I was always very scared of nail salons as well.

0:24:59.080 --> 0:25:01.640
<v Speaker 4>They always overwhelm me. I stay away from them. They

0:25:01.640 --> 0:25:08.560
<v Speaker 4>stress me out when I'm in school.

0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:11.480
<v Speaker 6>I've had a headache both days that come home.

0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:12.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh God, I don't know I'm going to

0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 4>do this. But I was like, I want to do

0:25:16.040 --> 0:25:20.000
<v Speaker 4>my nails. I'll tell him I want to do my nails,

0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:22.320
<v Speaker 4>but I can't ever wait for them to dry, like

0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:24.640
<v Speaker 4>I just managed to smudge them. It does not matter

0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:27.439
<v Speaker 4>what I do, I always sit on them or smudge

0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:29.560
<v Speaker 4>them somehow. So he was like, let me buy you

0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:32.240
<v Speaker 4>a fan dryer. That way I can dry my nails

0:25:32.280 --> 0:25:36.480
<v Speaker 4>in the dryer, but he bought me an led lamp instead,

0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:38.880
<v Speaker 4>thinking that it was a nail dryer. So I was like, well,

0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:42.239
<v Speaker 4>that's not what I need, but I guess I'll try it.

0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:44.480
<v Speaker 4>So I tried doing jail polishes and I ended up

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:46.919
<v Speaker 4>really liking it, Like what if I do this as

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:49.760
<v Speaker 4>a career. So I toyed with it for a little

0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:51.800
<v Speaker 4>bit and I was like, Okay, let let's let's do this.

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 4>I really don't know what else I'll be able to do,

0:25:54.320 --> 0:25:57.440
<v Speaker 4>because at this point in time, every I was now

0:25:57.520 --> 0:26:00.480
<v Speaker 4>getting to a point with my FND where it was

0:26:00.560 --> 0:26:04.240
<v Speaker 4>just getting hard to move and I didn't know how

0:26:04.359 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 4>I'd be able to have any sort of job at

0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:10.200
<v Speaker 4>all because it was just difficult getting around the house

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:13.399
<v Speaker 4>before whatever reason, nails was the one thing I could do.

0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:16.240
<v Speaker 4>So I'm in nail school because right now it's the

0:26:16.280 --> 0:26:17.160
<v Speaker 4>only thing I can do.

0:26:17.920 --> 0:26:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, okay, you say it's the only thing you can do,

0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:23.520
<v Speaker 1>but you also said just now that you thought you

0:26:23.640 --> 0:26:24.480
<v Speaker 1>might like it.

0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:30.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so I guess I feel blessed that I'm the

0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:33.359
<v Speaker 4>corner I've been backed into. Seems to be what I like.

0:26:34.200 --> 0:26:36.040
<v Speaker 1>I well, I want to get to the whole thing

0:26:36.040 --> 0:26:37.840
<v Speaker 1>about you being back in a corner in just a second,

0:26:37.880 --> 0:26:41.320
<v Speaker 1>but I want to point something out here. You you're

0:26:41.400 --> 0:26:45.639
<v Speaker 1>telling me that you have this thing where you're looking

0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:48.119
<v Speaker 1>at your life as like a series of failures, like

0:26:48.160 --> 0:26:51.960
<v Speaker 1>failing out of school, failing out of the pediatric's office.

0:26:51.960 --> 0:26:54.040
<v Speaker 1>And I want to ask you, in the series of

0:26:54.080 --> 0:26:57.879
<v Speaker 1>what you perceived to be failures, at any point, actually

0:26:57.960 --> 0:27:00.600
<v Speaker 1>have you ever actually gone in like you actually gone

0:27:00.600 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 1>into any of these endeavors thinking you might like it,

0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:06.320
<v Speaker 1>like when you went into being a pediat, like when

0:27:06.320 --> 0:27:08.959
<v Speaker 1>you've been into being a p at the fucking the

0:27:08.960 --> 0:27:14.479
<v Speaker 1>pediatric's office. You mentioned to me about wanting respect, and

0:27:14.520 --> 0:27:17.120
<v Speaker 1>you mentioned to me about wanting to get out of retail,

0:27:17.320 --> 0:27:20.360
<v Speaker 1>but you didn't mention to me that you might actually

0:27:20.440 --> 0:27:26.000
<v Speaker 1>want to do it, and so and you're right, And

0:27:26.000 --> 0:27:27.919
<v Speaker 1>then so I got what I'm bringing up is of

0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:32.280
<v Speaker 1>all these these these uh as you claim to view

0:27:32.320 --> 0:27:37.159
<v Speaker 1>them failures, they're all from things that you didn't really

0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:39.400
<v Speaker 1>actually want to do. I don't know how you felt

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:44.639
<v Speaker 1>about school. I assume you weren't super stoked on it.

0:27:44.680 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 1>Is that the case?

0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:51.919
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I tried college four times, and I mean the

0:27:51.960 --> 0:27:54.440
<v Speaker 4>first time, I guess you have that sort of oh,

0:27:54.480 --> 0:27:57.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to go have the class, the classic college

0:27:57.040 --> 0:27:59.600
<v Speaker 4>experience and live in the dorms and all that excitement

0:27:59.600 --> 0:28:01.600
<v Speaker 4>that you have. And then you actually get to college

0:28:01.600 --> 0:28:04.320
<v Speaker 4>and you realize none of that, none of that, how

0:28:04.359 --> 0:28:07.800
<v Speaker 4>any of this works. But then I kept trying because

0:28:08.520 --> 0:28:11.480
<v Speaker 4>who what am I without a college degree? And then

0:28:11.520 --> 0:28:14.959
<v Speaker 4>I realized that college and I just do not get along.

0:28:15.320 --> 0:28:17.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So that I'm going to stop you right there.

0:28:17.240 --> 0:28:19.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to stop you right there. You when you

0:28:19.320 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 1>just now you said what am I with a college degree?

0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:24.359
<v Speaker 1>There's a recurring pattern I'm seeing and I'm playing pretend

0:28:24.400 --> 0:28:29.520
<v Speaker 1>therapists here, but I'm gonna do this anyway. You when

0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:32.360
<v Speaker 1>you say I wanted to go into being a pediatrician

0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:36.800
<v Speaker 1>assistant office whatever, for respect. I wanted to go to

0:28:36.920 --> 0:28:40.880
<v Speaker 1>college for respect. You know, those are they're not there's

0:28:40.960 --> 0:28:44.600
<v Speaker 1>not good reasons to be pursuing something, and they're unstable

0:28:44.640 --> 0:28:49.200
<v Speaker 1>reasons to be pursuing something. So, like, you know, in kind,

0:28:49.360 --> 0:28:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I can see why you failed at those things because

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:54.760
<v Speaker 1>you went into them for the wrong reasons. Whereas with this,

0:28:55.280 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 1>the nail tech thing, you seem like you might actually like.

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:00.719
<v Speaker 1>It seems like it's something that can appeal to you.

0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:04.480
<v Speaker 1>So I wouldn't base your experience. I wouldn't go into

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:06.680
<v Speaker 1>this thinking you're going to fail because you failed at

0:29:06.680 --> 0:29:08.440
<v Speaker 1>a bunch of stuff that you didn't actually even want

0:29:08.440 --> 0:29:09.960
<v Speaker 1>to do in the first place. Because if you don't

0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:11.880
<v Speaker 1>want to do it in the first place, then yeah,

0:29:11.880 --> 0:29:13.920
<v Speaker 1>there's a pretty there's a pretty good chance you're not

0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:16.000
<v Speaker 1>going to be successful in doing it, which is fine.

0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:18.760
<v Speaker 1>That's how things should work. You know, you should go

0:29:18.840 --> 0:29:21.200
<v Speaker 1>out and find something you actually want to do, because

0:29:21.200 --> 0:29:24.800
<v Speaker 1>then you might actually you almost have no hope in

0:29:24.840 --> 0:29:27.640
<v Speaker 1>being good at something that you don't actually want to do,

0:29:28.400 --> 0:29:31.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, So I would look at this differently than

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:36.280
<v Speaker 1>all those other things.

0:29:35.760 --> 0:29:37.880
<v Speaker 4>And that's I'm trying to hold out that hope too.

0:29:38.000 --> 0:29:41.240
<v Speaker 4>But I guess now the case is, you know, within

0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:45.920
<v Speaker 4>the past year, I've gotten this this neurological condition that

0:29:46.040 --> 0:29:48.920
<v Speaker 4>I didn't have for the vast majority of my life.

0:29:49.320 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 4>Now I'm afraid that I've fallen into something that I

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:54.680
<v Speaker 4>like doing and I might physically not be able to

0:29:54.760 --> 0:29:56.280
<v Speaker 4>do it, and I'm not going to know until I

0:29:56.320 --> 0:29:58.840
<v Speaker 4>actually test myself and try it.

0:29:59.360 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 1>Tell me a little bit more about what this disorder is.

0:30:04.960 --> 0:30:10.000
<v Speaker 4>So I have functional neurological disorder, and the I guess

0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:12.000
<v Speaker 4>the real easy way to say it is that doctors

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:15.160
<v Speaker 4>have no idea what causes it or why it happens

0:30:15.720 --> 0:30:20.880
<v Speaker 4>or But essentially, for me, I guess the easiest way

0:30:20.920 --> 0:30:22.840
<v Speaker 4>to say is that the way that my brain talks

0:30:22.840 --> 0:30:27.160
<v Speaker 4>to my body doesn't line up correctly. So there's a

0:30:27.320 --> 0:30:30.280
<v Speaker 4>bunch of different symptoms for different people, but for me specifically,

0:30:31.960 --> 0:30:34.440
<v Speaker 4>I tend to scrunch my face without meaning too. My

0:30:34.960 --> 0:30:38.080
<v Speaker 4>head tends to whip back and forth pretty hard, and

0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:42.640
<v Speaker 4>it's trying to hurt. Sometimes my arms cross across my body,

0:30:42.680 --> 0:30:45.880
<v Speaker 4>and then sometimes it's like spontaneous paralysis and I can't

0:30:45.880 --> 0:30:48.880
<v Speaker 4>move or I start walking backwards. It's just funny and

0:30:48.920 --> 0:30:55.160
<v Speaker 4>it's not predictable. I'm getting I'm getting better at managing

0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 4>with it. That there was a point in time where

0:30:57.600 --> 0:31:00.160
<v Speaker 4>I thought I wouldn't I was just degenerating to the

0:31:00.160 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 4>point where I wouldn't be able to get out of

0:31:01.440 --> 0:31:01.840
<v Speaker 4>bed again.

0:31:02.400 --> 0:31:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you have involuntary movements. Yes, uh, you know,

0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:14.800
<v Speaker 1>what's your name? Moody? Moody, I I I I empathize

0:31:14.960 --> 0:31:17.440
<v Speaker 1>with you, and I understand why you feel that way.

0:31:19.640 --> 0:31:27.640
<v Speaker 1>I really want you not because you're painting this narrative

0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:30.760
<v Speaker 1>of like this is this is the only thing so

0:31:30.760 --> 0:31:33.040
<v Speaker 1>the one that you're painting, this like narrative of you

0:31:33.720 --> 0:31:38.280
<v Speaker 1>against a brick wall. And I'm sure that there are

0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:43.280
<v Speaker 1>like genuine, honest to God physical limitations for like things

0:31:43.320 --> 0:31:46.000
<v Speaker 1>you cannot and cannot you can and cannot do. But

0:31:46.200 --> 0:31:48.840
<v Speaker 1>just because there are certain things, even if there are

0:31:48.920 --> 0:31:52.720
<v Speaker 1>a lot of things that you cannot do, I I

0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:57.600
<v Speaker 1>it helps you in no way to paint a picture

0:31:57.680 --> 0:32:02.360
<v Speaker 1>of your life is limited because I mean there's so

0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:04.880
<v Speaker 1>many things you can You can talk. We're talking right now,

0:32:05.480 --> 0:32:08.680
<v Speaker 1>so okay, you can do anything in this world that

0:32:08.760 --> 0:32:14.560
<v Speaker 1>involves talking. You can think you can do anything in

0:32:14.600 --> 0:32:21.120
<v Speaker 1>this world that involves thinking, so like just if you

0:32:21.320 --> 0:32:24.800
<v Speaker 1>can and I feel bad, you know, saying this because

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:26.200
<v Speaker 1>it's easy for me to say because I don't have

0:32:26.240 --> 0:32:28.680
<v Speaker 1>the thing and you have the thing, But I just

0:32:28.800 --> 0:32:35.920
<v Speaker 1>for your sake, try and not think of yourself as

0:32:36.080 --> 0:32:38.400
<v Speaker 1>as limited is it sounds like you are thinking of

0:32:38.440 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 1>yourself as what do you think about that?

0:32:43.360 --> 0:32:46.600
<v Speaker 4>That's a hard one. It's hard because I live so

0:32:46.760 --> 0:32:48.960
<v Speaker 4>much of my life without this, so be able to

0:32:49.000 --> 0:32:51.240
<v Speaker 4>compare where I used to be and just kind of

0:32:51.320 --> 0:32:53.520
<v Speaker 4>kick myself. Well, why didn't I do X, Y and

0:32:53.600 --> 0:32:55.680
<v Speaker 4>Z and I didn't have to worry about whether I'd

0:32:55.680 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 4>be fully functional or not today?

0:32:57.640 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Sure, but just keep keep keep moving man, like, keep

0:33:03.320 --> 0:33:08.520
<v Speaker 1>being open minded, you know, because if you're you're kicking

0:33:08.560 --> 0:33:12.720
<v Speaker 1>yourself now. But like when you're kicking yourself, you're not

0:33:12.800 --> 0:33:15.280
<v Speaker 1>looking at other things that you might be able to do.

0:33:19.720 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I've got I've got a backup plan, uh right now.

0:33:24.240 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 4>The backup plan is to sell press on if I

0:33:26.440 --> 0:33:29.320
<v Speaker 4>if I'm I can't work in a salon environment, like

0:33:29.400 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 4>if it's too stressful, it's setting me off too much.

0:33:32.200 --> 0:33:34.400
<v Speaker 4>If I can't hold my hand still enough to actually

0:33:34.440 --> 0:33:36.760
<v Speaker 4>work with clients, and I'll go to press on. But

0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:38.880
<v Speaker 4>then there's a fear of, oh, is it is the

0:33:38.920 --> 0:33:43.680
<v Speaker 4>field too oversaturated? Do people really want more plastic nails?

0:33:43.760 --> 0:33:45.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't. I don't know.

0:33:47.800 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 1>You know, I think as long as you keep your

0:33:50.920 --> 0:33:57.800
<v Speaker 1>mind open, you'll find stuff to do. The world is

0:33:58.040 --> 0:34:04.000
<v Speaker 1>pretty infinite, and a lot of people will will kind

0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:06.280
<v Speaker 1>of combat this by saying like, oh, it was easy

0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:08.080
<v Speaker 1>to say because of this and that and the third thing,

0:34:08.200 --> 0:34:11.040
<v Speaker 1>but but god damn, wouldn't you take a maybe over

0:34:11.080 --> 0:34:11.399
<v Speaker 1>a now?

0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:13.919
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:34:14.040 --> 0:34:15.840
<v Speaker 4>I'll take maybe for sure?

0:34:16.640 --> 0:34:24.920
<v Speaker 1>Good? What is your name again? Moody? Ready, Moody, listen?

0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:28.600
<v Speaker 1>Good luck in nails school. I'm rooting for you, and

0:34:28.680 --> 0:34:30.839
<v Speaker 1>I think even if that doesn't work out, I think

0:34:30.840 --> 0:34:32.640
<v Speaker 1>it will. But even if it doesn't, I think that

0:34:32.680 --> 0:34:37.239
<v Speaker 1>there are infinite things for you to do. But I

0:34:37.239 --> 0:34:40.759
<v Speaker 1>think there are infinite positive uses of your time in

0:34:40.800 --> 0:34:43.600
<v Speaker 1>this universe, and I hope you continue to think like

0:34:43.640 --> 0:34:46.719
<v Speaker 1>that as well. Is there anything else you would like

0:34:46.760 --> 0:34:49.920
<v Speaker 1>to say to the people of the computer before we go?

0:34:54.400 --> 0:34:57.400
<v Speaker 4>Thanks for hearing me out. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

0:34:58.880 --> 0:35:00.359
<v Speaker 1>Gak bless you, Moody.

0:35:02.320 --> 0:35:03.040
<v Speaker 4>Thanks jek.

0:35:12.040 --> 0:35:17.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we did it. We did a motivational thing. We

0:35:17.239 --> 0:35:24.440
<v Speaker 1>said words that were positive, we gave thoughts. I felt

0:35:24.440 --> 0:35:27.200
<v Speaker 1>bad for Moody because she was she's being so hard

0:35:27.200 --> 0:35:31.400
<v Speaker 1>on herself, like out of the gate, and I kind

0:35:31.400 --> 0:35:33.480
<v Speaker 1>of wish I wish I would have asked her how

0:35:33.520 --> 0:35:35.960
<v Speaker 1>she this. A lot of the times when I go

0:35:36.040 --> 0:35:39.160
<v Speaker 1>on these little rants or whatever, I forget to be like, Okay,

0:35:39.200 --> 0:35:43.640
<v Speaker 1>but how did you actually feel about all that ranting?

0:35:44.840 --> 0:35:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I wish I had said that, because I kind of

0:35:47.920 --> 0:35:50.759
<v Speaker 1>maybe heard her come around to it a little bit,

0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:52.440
<v Speaker 1>because at the beginning of the cause she was just like,

0:35:52.920 --> 0:35:54.320
<v Speaker 1>this is the only thing I can do. This is

0:35:54.360 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 1>the corner I backed myself into. And I'm like, why,

0:36:02.640 --> 0:36:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh I wish uh. I wish good luck upon Moody,

0:36:05.360 --> 0:36:09.200
<v Speaker 1>and I hope that she's able to uh do some

0:36:09.239 --> 0:36:11.319
<v Speaker 1>good work in the nail salon. Maybe I'll go to her.

0:36:11.320 --> 0:36:13.399
<v Speaker 1>My nails are fucked up because I keep chewing on them,

0:36:14.560 --> 0:36:18.320
<v Speaker 1>and uh, I'm gonna do I'm addicted to chewing my nails.

0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:22.320
<v Speaker 1>All right. That's that's the end of this this post

0:36:22.400 --> 0:36:25.560
<v Speaker 1>call banter. I have nothing else to say. I am

0:36:25.600 --> 0:36:30.880
<v Speaker 1>a gecko. Hello, hey, uh Eli, what's going on with you,

0:36:31.040 --> 0:36:31.960
<v Speaker 1>how can I get you to lem?

0:36:32.719 --> 0:36:39.520
<v Speaker 6>Okay, So I've a few years ago, back in high school,

0:36:40.680 --> 0:36:46.879
<v Speaker 6>I was dating this girl and before I started dating her,

0:36:47.920 --> 0:36:50.359
<v Speaker 6>she was like, yeah, I have this like I'm really

0:36:50.360 --> 0:36:56.839
<v Speaker 6>close with my dad and I like I want him

0:36:56.840 --> 0:36:58.359
<v Speaker 6>to like you. So I said, okay, but I could

0:36:58.400 --> 0:37:01.960
<v Speaker 6>give you his number and then like he can like

0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:03.520
<v Speaker 6>talk to you and then you guys can like set

0:37:03.600 --> 0:37:06.560
<v Speaker 6>up an interview, which was weird.

0:37:06.920 --> 0:37:08.760
<v Speaker 1>It super weird.

0:37:10.160 --> 0:37:11.680
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, so he.

0:37:12.040 --> 0:37:16.359
<v Speaker 1>Tell me first? She did? She did? She use the

0:37:16.400 --> 0:37:17.440
<v Speaker 1>word interview?

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:23.400
<v Speaker 6>Well, she was like, he wants to talk to you first,

0:37:23.719 --> 0:37:25.840
<v Speaker 6>and I was like, you mean like an interview, and

0:37:25.920 --> 0:37:29.800
<v Speaker 6>she said, yeah.

0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:28.799
<v Speaker 5>All right.

0:37:28.880 --> 0:37:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean look, I guess if you're in high school,

0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:32.239
<v Speaker 1>all right, maybe I spoke too soon. I guess if

0:37:32.239 --> 0:37:36.440
<v Speaker 1>you're in high school, that's not that weird.

0:37:36.640 --> 0:37:44.120
<v Speaker 6>But continue, I guess the idea of the interview itself

0:37:44.200 --> 0:37:49.840
<v Speaker 6>isn't weird, But the interview itself was so basically it

0:37:49.920 --> 0:37:54.480
<v Speaker 6>was like I go to her house, talk to her

0:37:54.560 --> 0:38:00.680
<v Speaker 6>dad and he starts like he starts off talking about

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:07.920
<v Speaker 6>like how he like wouldn't be afraid to shoot a

0:38:07.960 --> 0:38:11.160
<v Speaker 6>home intruder and how he wouldn't be afraid to shoot

0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:16.240
<v Speaker 6>me either, and then later asked if I was okay,

0:38:16.440 --> 0:38:20.800
<v Speaker 6>like what I thought about like guns, and I didn't

0:38:20.920 --> 0:38:23.520
<v Speaker 6>know how to answer because clearly you don't want to

0:38:23.520 --> 0:38:25.759
<v Speaker 6>answer saying you don't like them if someone just said

0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:27.040
<v Speaker 6>they're not afraid of shooting you.

0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:36.919
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So what did you do in response to all

0:38:36.960 --> 0:38:37.200
<v Speaker 1>of this?

0:38:41.120 --> 0:38:46.359
<v Speaker 6>So basically, in the end the interview, the biggest, the

0:38:46.400 --> 0:38:50.960
<v Speaker 6>weirdest question he asked me in the end was are

0:38:51.000 --> 0:38:55.400
<v Speaker 6>you a virgin? Which at the time I was, but

0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:59.520
<v Speaker 6>like that it was just a really weird question for

0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:00.319
<v Speaker 6>an adult.

0:39:00.080 --> 0:39:00.560
<v Speaker 3>To ask me.

0:39:01.320 --> 0:39:04.759
<v Speaker 6>Super weird question but at the but at the time

0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.719
<v Speaker 6>I didn't think it was weird because I grew up

0:39:06.760 --> 0:39:10.960
<v Speaker 6>Mormon and in like bishop interviews and stuff like that,

0:39:10.960 --> 0:39:12.400
<v Speaker 6>that's the kind of stuff they ask you.

0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Hm, okay, so you had this very strange interaction with

0:39:21.560 --> 0:39:26.239
<v Speaker 1>your girlfriend's dad, and what did you do in response

0:39:26.280 --> 0:39:28.960
<v Speaker 1>to that? I?

0:39:29.120 --> 0:39:34.680
<v Speaker 6>Well, I didn't really know what to do. So we

0:39:34.800 --> 0:39:40.000
<v Speaker 6>kept dating afterwards, like you kept dating, and he would

0:39:40.080 --> 0:39:42.000
<v Speaker 6>text me and stuff.

0:39:45.360 --> 0:39:46.560
<v Speaker 1>What kinds of things would he end?

0:39:46.880 --> 0:39:49.560
<v Speaker 6>I never was doing sure what to do. He would

0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:52.239
<v Speaker 6>just like text me like, hey, maybe you should do this,

0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 6>Like I don't know he did. He'd asked me more

0:39:55.120 --> 0:39:59.200
<v Speaker 6>really weird questions, and he'd like sometimes he'd just ask

0:39:59.280 --> 0:40:02.240
<v Speaker 6>him my day was, which, like I know, isn't that weird,

0:40:02.280 --> 0:40:05.040
<v Speaker 6>but like it's still was really invasive.

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:12.279
<v Speaker 1>Totally. How long did you continue to date this girl afterwards?

0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:15.760
<v Speaker 6>Like three months?

0:40:17.280 --> 0:40:17.600
<v Speaker 5>Okay?

0:40:17.600 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 1>What was it like when you broke up with her?

0:40:21.320 --> 0:40:23.719
<v Speaker 6>It was pretty funny because I broke up with her

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:30.279
<v Speaker 6>because of her dad completely, and so after we broke up,

0:40:30.280 --> 0:40:32.680
<v Speaker 6>she would tell people that we broke up because I

0:40:32.760 --> 0:40:35.480
<v Speaker 6>wanted her to kiss me and she wouldn't, and so

0:40:35.640 --> 0:40:36.319
<v Speaker 6>we broke up.

0:40:42.560 --> 0:40:46.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Well, how did the dad react when you broke up?

0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Would he continue to text you afterwards?

0:40:50.680 --> 0:40:50.799
<v Speaker 5>So?

0:40:51.239 --> 0:40:54.919
<v Speaker 6>I eventually, like around the time I broke up with her,

0:40:55.440 --> 0:41:02.440
<v Speaker 6>told my parents what had been going on, which led

0:41:02.680 --> 0:41:08.840
<v Speaker 6>to my dad calling him and I never I didn't

0:41:08.880 --> 0:41:11.720
<v Speaker 6>hear this call. I was not in the room or anything.

0:41:12.560 --> 0:41:17.560
<v Speaker 6>But when he left the room from the call, I

0:41:17.680 --> 0:41:23.960
<v Speaker 6>was told to. I was told that I shouldn't have

0:41:24.000 --> 0:41:27.319
<v Speaker 6>to worry about it, and that he said that no

0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:31.040
<v Speaker 6>one in that my girlfriend ex his dad said that

0:41:31.160 --> 0:41:33.640
<v Speaker 6>no one in her family will ever be talking to

0:41:33.680 --> 0:41:37.440
<v Speaker 6>anyone in my family. Ever again. And that's about as

0:41:37.520 --> 0:41:39.920
<v Speaker 6>much information as I know about how that call went.

0:41:43.080 --> 0:41:46.839
<v Speaker 1>Well, it sounds like your dad set some pretty strong boundaries.

0:41:49.360 --> 0:41:52.279
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, my dad is a social worker at a at

0:41:52.320 --> 0:41:55.880
<v Speaker 6>a halfway house, and he was picking up on a

0:41:55.960 --> 0:41:59.040
<v Speaker 6>lot of like really criminal behavior that he sees from

0:41:59.080 --> 0:42:02.319
<v Speaker 6>like his job every day from this guy and was like, yeah,

0:42:02.360 --> 0:42:04.759
<v Speaker 6>I'm not letting this continue.

0:42:05.200 --> 0:42:09.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Man, what a lucky thing to have a dad

0:42:09.480 --> 0:42:13.880
<v Speaker 1>who's good at sort of spying that stuff out to

0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:17.000
<v Speaker 1>come in and deal with that situation. Because that that guy,

0:42:17.160 --> 0:42:19.719
<v Speaker 1>he did not sound like he was good news at all.

0:42:20.560 --> 0:42:24.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel bad for you know, I feel bad for

0:42:25.000 --> 0:42:27.200
<v Speaker 1>whoever your girlfriend was at the time. I feel bad

0:42:27.239 --> 0:42:28.759
<v Speaker 1>for her. I don't know what her life was like

0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:29.440
<v Speaker 1>in that house.

0:42:32.320 --> 0:42:35.960
<v Speaker 6>From my understanding, it wasn't great. But she really liked

0:42:36.000 --> 0:42:38.920
<v Speaker 6>her dad and really didn't like her mom, and it

0:42:39.040 --> 0:42:46.080
<v Speaker 6>was weird, and I don't know her. I didn't it

0:42:46.120 --> 0:42:48.399
<v Speaker 6>was very much. Uh, I'm going to date this person

0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:50.799
<v Speaker 6>because I'm in high school. Like neither of us really

0:42:50.840 --> 0:42:53.319
<v Speaker 6>clicked with each other that well, it wasn't that good

0:42:53.320 --> 0:43:03.120
<v Speaker 6>of a relationship, like even without that, and like, yeah.

0:43:01.239 --> 0:43:03.440
<v Speaker 1>So Eli, it says here that you're struggling to connect.

0:43:03.640 --> 0:43:06.600
<v Speaker 1>It says you have a new girlfriend and you're struggling

0:43:06.640 --> 0:43:08.920
<v Speaker 1>to connect with her dad. What's going on with this

0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:09.719
<v Speaker 1>new girlfriend?

0:43:12.160 --> 0:43:15.320
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, so me and my new girlfriend we've been dating

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:21.719
<v Speaker 6>for u six months as of yesterday, and I get

0:43:22.000 --> 0:43:26.680
<v Speaker 6>really really bad anxiety around her dad, and like, I

0:43:26.719 --> 0:43:29.480
<v Speaker 6>have really bad trust issues with a lot of adults

0:43:29.480 --> 0:43:34.160
<v Speaker 6>because of this experience where it's like really like because yeah,

0:43:34.200 --> 0:43:36.640
<v Speaker 6>and it's like really hard for me to like connect

0:43:37.160 --> 0:43:39.640
<v Speaker 6>with him, even though like he's genuinely a nice guy,

0:43:39.880 --> 0:43:43.560
<v Speaker 6>Like he's kind of a nerd, He's really just nice.

0:43:43.719 --> 0:43:46.680
<v Speaker 6>He makes jokes and I think they're pretty funny. Like

0:43:46.680 --> 0:43:48.840
<v Speaker 6>he's just a nice guy. And I just but like

0:43:48.880 --> 0:43:51.120
<v Speaker 6>whenever I'm like around him or like we're hanging out

0:43:51.120 --> 0:43:52.640
<v Speaker 6>at her house or something and he's there, like I

0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:56.920
<v Speaker 6>just like kind of like free, like I start like

0:43:56.960 --> 0:43:58.759
<v Speaker 6>having a mini panic attack about it.

0:43:59.600 --> 0:44:01.319
<v Speaker 1>Really, let me ask you this, have you talked to

0:44:01.320 --> 0:44:03.120
<v Speaker 1>a real therapist about any of this stuff?

0:44:05.760 --> 0:44:08.880
<v Speaker 6>So I have a real therapist. I have talked to

0:44:08.920 --> 0:44:12.359
<v Speaker 6>her very briefly about this, but it's really hard to

0:44:12.480 --> 0:44:17.319
<v Speaker 6>get in right now to therapy. I haven't gone in

0:44:17.360 --> 0:44:19.640
<v Speaker 6>like two months. And we're trying to get me in,

0:44:19.719 --> 0:44:20.839
<v Speaker 6>but it's not working out.

0:44:21.680 --> 0:44:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Interesting because I do wonder what they would say. Because

0:44:23.880 --> 0:44:25.400
<v Speaker 1>you talked to her briefly about it, did she have

0:44:25.400 --> 0:44:27.080
<v Speaker 1>any brief responses?

0:44:29.280 --> 0:44:31.719
<v Speaker 6>I mean, it was kind of like I talked about

0:44:31.719 --> 0:44:33.800
<v Speaker 6>it while talking about something else, and so she probably

0:44:33.880 --> 0:44:36.479
<v Speaker 6>just wrote it down in her notes because she asked

0:44:36.520 --> 0:44:39.040
<v Speaker 6>me a follow up question about something else. But with

0:44:39.080 --> 0:44:43.359
<v Speaker 6>my dad as a therapist, which is a whole it's

0:44:43.360 --> 0:44:45.319
<v Speaker 6>a weird dynamic because sometimes I just want to be

0:44:45.360 --> 0:44:47.560
<v Speaker 6>my dad and sometimes it's nice to have him as

0:44:47.560 --> 0:44:52.560
<v Speaker 6>a therapist. But it's like he has said some interesting

0:44:52.680 --> 0:44:53.440
<v Speaker 6>things about it.

0:44:55.280 --> 0:44:56.640
<v Speaker 1>Tell me what he said about it.

0:44:59.080 --> 0:45:04.080
<v Speaker 6>So him being like, you know, like a witness in this,

0:45:05.680 --> 0:45:11.640
<v Speaker 6>he was very like he understood very clearly, like what

0:45:11.680 --> 0:45:13.560
<v Speaker 6>had happened to me, because he had seen it happen

0:45:13.600 --> 0:45:16.319
<v Speaker 6>to other people. I haven't talked to him about it

0:45:16.320 --> 0:45:23.239
<v Speaker 6>in a bit, but it's like I just need to

0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:27.800
<v Speaker 6>learn to dissociate. I guess where it's like this person

0:45:27.920 --> 0:45:32.120
<v Speaker 6>isn't the same person, and just it's okay that my

0:45:32.160 --> 0:45:35.359
<v Speaker 6>brain doesn't know that, because like it takes time for

0:45:35.880 --> 0:45:39.000
<v Speaker 6>people to like oftentimes your brain will process only before

0:45:39.000 --> 0:45:41.200
<v Speaker 6>your heart does and then get to like, wait a

0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:46.440
<v Speaker 6>minute till you actually like process it. I guess.

0:45:50.160 --> 0:45:53.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is a difficult thing because you don't want

0:45:53.800 --> 0:46:01.000
<v Speaker 1>your relationships with anyone else to kind of like define

0:46:01.040 --> 0:46:04.799
<v Speaker 1>how you view relationships with other people as you move

0:46:04.880 --> 0:46:08.040
<v Speaker 1>on with your life. But it would make sense that

0:46:08.120 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 1>your brain just does it anyway. Yeah, what else has

0:46:14.640 --> 0:46:17.919
<v Speaker 1>your dad sort of told you that's helped you out

0:46:17.960 --> 0:46:21.239
<v Speaker 1>with this as you've continued on. I don't know if

0:46:21.280 --> 0:46:23.719
<v Speaker 1>you've talked to them about this particular situation you're having

0:46:23.719 --> 0:46:25.359
<v Speaker 1>with your current girlfriends.

0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:30.040
<v Speaker 6>I have not talked about them with this current situation,

0:46:32.920 --> 0:46:37.640
<v Speaker 6>but in general, a big thing that my dad and

0:46:37.640 --> 0:46:40.040
<v Speaker 6>I have talked about is like picking up on things

0:46:40.040 --> 0:46:42.520
<v Speaker 6>that like trigger off anxiety and trigger off depression and

0:46:42.560 --> 0:46:45.759
<v Speaker 6>stuff like that and dealing with them quickly before it

0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:47.680
<v Speaker 6>like eats you away.

0:46:50.640 --> 0:46:52.319
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'll say this much. It sounds like you got

0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:55.279
<v Speaker 1>a good uh, You've got a good resource and your

0:46:55.360 --> 0:46:58.000
<v Speaker 1>dad to help you out with all this shit. Yes,

0:46:58.080 --> 0:47:03.359
<v Speaker 1>I do you know? Maybe have you spent a lot

0:47:03.400 --> 0:47:05.279
<v Speaker 1>and I tell this to everyone, but have you spent

0:47:05.520 --> 0:47:09.319
<v Speaker 1>a lot of time not in a relationship like how

0:47:09.400 --> 0:47:15.640
<v Speaker 1>recently was this new girlfriend after the old one.

0:47:15.680 --> 0:47:19.640
<v Speaker 6>This new girlfriend was in January of this year, and

0:47:19.680 --> 0:47:23.120
<v Speaker 6>that girlfriend was in February or March of last year.

0:47:25.320 --> 0:47:26.759
<v Speaker 1>All right, so it was at least a year.

0:47:28.960 --> 0:47:29.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it was a minute.

0:47:30.760 --> 0:47:36.359
<v Speaker 1>All right. Well I kind of needed it. You kind

0:47:36.360 --> 0:47:37.880
<v Speaker 1>of needed it. I don't like hearing that. What do

0:47:37.880 --> 0:47:38.719
<v Speaker 1>you mean by you needed it?

0:47:41.880 --> 0:47:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:47:42.120 --> 0:47:43.880
<v Speaker 6>I needed to not be in a relationship because that

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:48.200
<v Speaker 6>time my life was really dark, like really dark. Like

0:47:48.320 --> 0:47:50.799
<v Speaker 6>even after that, that definitely didn't help. And then like

0:47:51.320 --> 0:47:54.399
<v Speaker 6>I was really through, I really depressed, really anxious all

0:47:54.400 --> 0:48:01.720
<v Speaker 6>the time, Like several like incidents, incident things happened.

0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:08.239
<v Speaker 1>What is your life like now? What is the sort

0:48:08.280 --> 0:48:11.719
<v Speaker 1>of general feelings going on currently?

0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:19.080
<v Speaker 6>I feel? So it's been over a year since I've

0:48:19.080 --> 0:48:21.640
<v Speaker 6>done any sort of self harm or anything like that.

0:48:22.360 --> 0:48:27.759
<v Speaker 6>I am genuinely just happier to be around people. I

0:48:28.520 --> 0:48:32.400
<v Speaker 6>am very quick to pick up when things are going

0:48:32.480 --> 0:48:34.120
<v Speaker 6>bad for me. And I'm starting to be able to

0:48:34.160 --> 0:48:36.600
<v Speaker 6>talk about things that have happened to me now because

0:48:37.120 --> 0:48:39.279
<v Speaker 6>like all that stuff happened last year and I kind

0:48:39.280 --> 0:48:42.000
<v Speaker 6>of wouldn't talk about it, And now like I'm finally

0:48:42.040 --> 0:48:45.720
<v Speaker 6>comfortable enough where I'm feeling good, and I'm feeling ready

0:48:45.760 --> 0:48:50.080
<v Speaker 6>to start telling people about it and start focusing not

0:48:50.120 --> 0:48:52.600
<v Speaker 6>onlike getting past it, because I feel like I am

0:48:52.680 --> 0:48:55.720
<v Speaker 6>past most of it, but like on how it happened

0:48:55.719 --> 0:48:56.880
<v Speaker 6>to me, but it doesn't define me.

0:48:58.280 --> 0:48:59.759
<v Speaker 1>I like that. It seems like you have a healthy,

0:48:59.800 --> 0:49:02.280
<v Speaker 1>real relationship with everything that's going on with you, especially

0:49:02.640 --> 0:49:05.359
<v Speaker 1>even though especially with it going on with you so young,

0:49:05.440 --> 0:49:07.239
<v Speaker 1>you have a very mature mindset about it.

0:49:09.239 --> 0:49:09.800
<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

0:49:11.640 --> 0:49:13.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, I thanks for sharing. Is there anything

0:49:13.040 --> 0:49:14.040
<v Speaker 1>else you want to say to the people of the

0:49:14.080 --> 0:49:15.040
<v Speaker 1>computer before we go.

0:49:18.280 --> 0:49:22.160
<v Speaker 6>I so I've been listening to your stuff on Spotify

0:49:22.360 --> 0:49:24.920
<v Speaker 6>all week at work, and I was listening to it

0:49:24.960 --> 0:49:26.799
<v Speaker 6>today and then I got the twitch and so I

0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:29.320
<v Speaker 6>followed you on Twitch and then I got the notification

0:49:29.440 --> 0:49:30.680
<v Speaker 6>at work. It was like, you know what, I'll just

0:49:30.760 --> 0:49:32.319
<v Speaker 6>call today. But I've been listening to it all week

0:49:32.360 --> 0:49:33.359
<v Speaker 6>and here we are.

0:49:34.480 --> 0:49:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you for listening. I'm glad you brought all

0:49:39.040 --> 0:49:41.480
<v Speaker 1>this stuff up. I'm like totally not a real therapist

0:49:41.520 --> 0:49:44.280
<v Speaker 1>or equipped to talk about a lot of the issues. Yeah,

0:49:44.360 --> 0:49:47.160
<v Speaker 1>you're bringing up on on on this here thing, but

0:49:48.080 --> 0:49:51.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, thanks for sharing anyway, and good look for it.

0:49:51.640 --> 0:49:53.080
<v Speaker 1>I meant, I did mean what I know. I said

0:49:53.120 --> 0:49:55.080
<v Speaker 1>all that spiel about how I don't you know, know

0:49:55.080 --> 0:49:56.680
<v Speaker 1>how to talk about all this ship, but I do.

0:49:56.800 --> 0:49:58.719
<v Speaker 1>I do mean what I said when I said that,

0:49:58.760 --> 0:50:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I think you have a mature mindset about it, because

0:50:01.440 --> 0:50:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you're you're not. You don't sound like you're letting a

0:50:03.360 --> 0:50:05.719
<v Speaker 1>lot of this stuff defind you. When you said that,

0:50:05.760 --> 0:50:08.160
<v Speaker 1>you're allowing yourself to move on from it. And I

0:50:08.200 --> 0:50:14.160
<v Speaker 1>think that that's, in my unprofessional lizard opinion, the most

0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:16.520
<v Speaker 1>important thing. So good, Good for you, man, keep going

0:50:16.560 --> 0:50:16.759
<v Speaker 1>on that.

0:50:19.400 --> 0:50:19.839
<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

0:50:19.960 --> 0:50:21.920
<v Speaker 4>I am trying my best.

0:50:22.880 --> 0:50:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Take care of el.

0:50:25.640 --> 0:50:26.439
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you're too well.

0:50:28.200 --> 0:50:28.600
<v Speaker 1>Hello?

0:50:30.120 --> 0:50:30.440
<v Speaker 3>Hello?

0:50:31.760 --> 0:50:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Is this Anthony?

0:50:35.200 --> 0:50:37.799
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:50:37.880 --> 0:50:41.040
<v Speaker 1>You sound uh sounds like you're chilling right now.

0:50:44.239 --> 0:50:47.600
<v Speaker 3>I uh yeah, how do you know?

0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:50.040
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel right now in this moment?

0:50:53.800 --> 0:50:58.600
<v Speaker 3>I feel I feel chilled.

0:51:01.160 --> 0:51:04.799
<v Speaker 1>Sous. Hear that you are on mushrooms right now and

0:51:04.880 --> 0:51:07.320
<v Speaker 1>you wanted to share your experience with us.

0:51:10.520 --> 0:51:16.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, first, I don't know where I am.

0:51:17.360 --> 0:51:21.040
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's talk about that. Where do you Where

0:51:21.040 --> 0:51:24.520
<v Speaker 1>do you think you are? Do you have any idea?

0:51:26.320 --> 0:51:34.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, so I started this morning in New York.

0:51:34.960 --> 0:51:41.799
<v Speaker 3>But I think I think I I I don't think

0:51:41.840 --> 0:51:43.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm in New York anymore.

0:51:45.239 --> 0:51:49.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, where do you think you are? Well?

0:51:50.520 --> 0:52:00.520
<v Speaker 3>I see a tree, two trees, three actually, and grass,

0:52:00.560 --> 0:52:01.400
<v Speaker 3>a lot of grass.

0:52:02.360 --> 0:52:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. Are you outside?

0:52:09.320 --> 0:52:18.680
<v Speaker 3>Uh m hm hm hmm, yeah, that could be.

0:52:20.760 --> 0:52:22.799
<v Speaker 1>I'd be curious where you would be if you were

0:52:22.920 --> 0:52:26.600
<v Speaker 1>inside and you were seeing trees and grass.

0:52:30.520 --> 0:52:34.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I mean, how do you know this?

0:52:36.800 --> 0:52:40.040
<v Speaker 1>What have you been thinking about lately?

0:52:44.160 --> 0:52:44.279
<v Speaker 4>Uh?

0:52:45.880 --> 0:52:50.040
<v Speaker 3>I've been thinking a lot, a lot about life.

0:52:51.120 --> 0:52:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what about life?

0:52:56.400 --> 0:53:04.239
<v Speaker 3>It's uh, I don't know. Actually it's great, really, uh

0:53:04.280 --> 0:53:06.279
<v Speaker 3>it's really good. Yeah.

0:53:07.000 --> 0:53:08.040
<v Speaker 1>What's so? What's good about it?

0:53:08.600 --> 0:53:15.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm going well, a lot of things, the air, the sky,

0:53:16.760 --> 0:53:21.120
<v Speaker 3>the sun or the moon. It's could be daytime or nighttime.

0:53:23.400 --> 0:53:26.720
<v Speaker 1>What is your general what is your general life? Like, Anthony?

0:53:26.840 --> 0:53:28.600
<v Speaker 1>What do you sort of do with your days?

0:53:31.680 --> 0:53:34.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I like to uh, I like to meditate.

0:53:39.280 --> 0:53:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what do you do?

0:53:41.120 --> 0:53:41.239
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:53:45.960 --> 0:53:46.359
<v Speaker 3>I walk?

0:53:48.360 --> 0:53:52.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Do you have a job yeah?

0:53:54.560 --> 0:53:55.120
<v Speaker 5>Uh no.

0:53:58.760 --> 0:54:00.839
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a partner? I mean I have a job,

0:54:02.440 --> 0:54:04.759
<v Speaker 1>like a relationship of any kind of a partner? Yeah?

0:54:06.080 --> 0:54:11.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, sure I have a friend.

0:54:12.400 --> 0:54:15.640
<v Speaker 1>You have a relationship and you just now, just now,

0:54:15.680 --> 0:54:17.960
<v Speaker 1>you just said that you have a job. You do

0:54:18.080 --> 0:54:18.480
<v Speaker 1>have a job.

0:54:20.440 --> 0:54:21.879
<v Speaker 5>I do. I do have a job.

0:54:22.440 --> 0:54:23.239
<v Speaker 1>What is your job?

0:54:26.960 --> 0:54:27.080
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:54:29.200 --> 0:54:34.640
<v Speaker 3>I forgot I knew this morning, and but I forgot

0:54:34.719 --> 0:54:41.360
<v Speaker 3>what I do. I've lost my I've lost my purpose,

0:54:41.520 --> 0:54:41.839
<v Speaker 3>I think.

0:54:43.520 --> 0:54:47.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, do are you looking for a new purpose?

0:54:51.440 --> 0:54:54.160
<v Speaker 3>Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

0:54:55.560 --> 0:54:57.600
<v Speaker 1>What are you thinking might be your new purpose?

0:55:01.400 --> 0:55:01.960
<v Speaker 3>I think.

0:55:03.600 --> 0:55:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Research?

0:55:06.080 --> 0:55:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'd like to like to research.

0:55:11.440 --> 0:55:17.279
<v Speaker 3>I would like to research the study of peanut butter

0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:22.919
<v Speaker 3>and why it tastes so damn good.

0:55:25.719 --> 0:55:29.319
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you want to be a peanut butter researcher. That's

0:55:29.320 --> 0:55:29.840
<v Speaker 1>a good purpose.

0:55:30.800 --> 0:55:31.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:55:31.600 --> 0:55:32.960
<v Speaker 1>All right, So we have a new purpose for you,

0:55:33.320 --> 0:55:35.600
<v Speaker 1>and let's get back into the personal life. You said

0:55:35.600 --> 0:55:40.000
<v Speaker 1>you have three different girlfriends or well you didn't. You

0:55:40.040 --> 0:55:41.960
<v Speaker 1>said you have three different I.

0:55:41.960 --> 0:55:46.040
<v Speaker 3>Wouldn't say I wouldn't say that. Just no, just friends,

0:55:47.160 --> 0:55:47.680
<v Speaker 3>just friends.

0:55:48.040 --> 0:55:56.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I see you have three friends. Yeah, you're happy

0:55:56.080 --> 0:55:57.520
<v Speaker 1>with Are you happy with the amount of friends that

0:55:57.600 --> 0:55:59.880
<v Speaker 1>you have right now? Do you want more friends? Or

0:56:00.120 --> 0:56:01.280
<v Speaker 1>are you content?

0:56:02.600 --> 0:56:03.839
<v Speaker 3>I could I could go for four?

0:56:03.960 --> 0:56:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Could you be?

0:56:04.520 --> 0:56:09.200
<v Speaker 3>I mean, would you would you like to? I mean,

0:56:09.239 --> 0:56:12.080
<v Speaker 3>would you be my fourth? My fourth friend?

0:56:13.040 --> 0:56:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I think, realistically, the chance of us genuinely becoming friends

0:56:17.640 --> 0:56:18.120
<v Speaker 1>is very low.

0:56:21.800 --> 0:56:22.239
<v Speaker 3>Well some.

0:56:23.960 --> 0:56:30.200
<v Speaker 1>Uh not because like I could tell you the premises

0:56:30.320 --> 0:56:37.359
<v Speaker 1>you live in, uh New York, which I don't live there.

0:56:39.480 --> 0:56:41.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't see how we would get in

0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:49.600
<v Speaker 1>touch after this. And then also, friendship is sort of

0:56:49.640 --> 0:56:53.600
<v Speaker 1>based on like a recurring instances of us seeing each other,

0:56:54.239 --> 0:56:56.280
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know how we would be recurrently seeing

0:56:56.320 --> 0:56:58.120
<v Speaker 1>each other. We would have to make a lot of

0:56:58.280 --> 0:57:00.879
<v Speaker 1>active efforts towards seeing each other that I don't see

0:57:00.920 --> 0:57:01.520
<v Speaker 1>either of us.

0:57:01.680 --> 0:57:06.480
<v Speaker 3>Make it okay, Well, I would put the effort in.

0:57:07.840 --> 0:57:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I realistically probably would not put the efford in.

0:57:13.040 --> 0:57:14.200
<v Speaker 3>Well, I appreciate your honesty.

0:57:14.800 --> 0:57:17.720
<v Speaker 1>Of course we have right now, we have at least

0:57:17.760 --> 0:57:21.160
<v Speaker 1>the next minute on the phone together. What would you

0:57:21.240 --> 0:57:22.400
<v Speaker 1>like to do with that final minute?

0:57:22.600 --> 0:57:26.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay? Well, what would you like to talk about?

0:57:30.120 --> 0:57:33.000
<v Speaker 1>Nothing in particular. I feel like we've gotten everything that

0:57:33.080 --> 0:57:33.760
<v Speaker 1>we needed out of this.

0:57:36.360 --> 0:57:44.720
<v Speaker 3>Okay, Well, I am outside and you help. I would

0:57:44.720 --> 0:57:46.600
<v Speaker 3>clear that up with that where I.

0:57:46.600 --> 0:57:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Am happy to help. Yeah, I'm happy to help. I'm

0:57:48.320 --> 0:57:49.280
<v Speaker 1>glad that you know where you are now.

0:57:51.720 --> 0:57:56.040
<v Speaker 3>And I'm going to uh, I'm going to research peanut butter.

0:57:57.440 --> 0:57:58.200
<v Speaker 1>Let us know what you find.

0:58:00.760 --> 0:58:02.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, oh I will.

0:58:04.320 --> 0:58:05.960
<v Speaker 1>Anything else you want to say before we go, Anthony,

0:58:08.640 --> 0:58:09.200
<v Speaker 1>I'll be back.

0:58:13.000 --> 0:58:14.440
<v Speaker 3>Thank you for calling, Thank you.

0:58:15.160 --> 0:58:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night.

0:58:19.640 --> 0:58:22.320
<v Speaker 1>Never Pacon goes to on his night. He's teaching you

0:58:22.360 --> 0:58:26.320
<v Speaker 1>aloud in the of your life. Money's not really an expert.

0:58:32.320 --> 0:58:32.360
<v Speaker 2>H