WEBVTT - Episode 443: EmpowHER (Feat. Syleena Johnson) 0:00:01.440 --> 0:00:04.440 Wes F slip service. I'm Angela Yee, I'm Gg maguire, 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:05.240 I'm Laura. 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:07.040 Maura, and I'm Selena Johnson. 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:11.200 Hey she's that's Selena. Yeah, don't laugh for you. She's 0:00:11.240 --> 0:00:14.720 a talk show host to Sister Circle, it is, and 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:16.479 that's correct. Did you love doing that? 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:19.959 I really love I really loved Sister Circle because it 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:22.880 was in studio when we went back to Crown. That 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:25.120 was fun because it was back in the studio when 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:27.320 we were in the bubble and we were doing Fox. 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:30.600 So I love my co host, but I hated being 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:33.440 like in the computer because like you'd be talking and 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:35.159 somebody be talking and then you have to wait all 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.840 the way to the silent and then say something. So 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:42.440 that was kind of difficult trying to, you know, figure 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.360 out how to do that successfully. But I do like 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:49.120 being on talk platforms. It's a relief sometimes singing there's 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:51.080 a lot of pressure and a lot of a lot 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:53.880 of preparation and stuff. So yeah, I really loved it. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:56.360 Plus Sister Circle was was the most fun too because 0:00:56.400 --> 0:01:00.600 we had guests. I enjoyed your Sister Circle, so that 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.880 was the time. It was a time, but we had guests, 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:05.840 so that was fun, you know, to be able to 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:08.759 converse with other people and learn about other people's life 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.840 and story, like the story, and be on the other 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.880 side because as an artist the whole time, I'd never 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:16.800 been on the other side, you know. So I learned 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.199 a lot of things on huh okay, now see why, 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.479 Well then that makes sense why they've been doing, you know, so. 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.800 Well listen, it is also Women's Month, and International Women's 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.360 Day is March eighth, Yes, and so I really want 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:31.760 to talk about the fact that you see, we have 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.280 an all women cast on lip Service always and I 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:38.280 love them. We have our women guests, and so you, 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.040 like we just talked about, you've been in spaces where 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.679 it's been all women. So I just want to take 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:46.720 a moment to acknowledge all of the podcasts and shows 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.080 out there that represent for women, because we need those 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.400 safe spaces to be able to talk and to be 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:53.760 able to express ourselves. 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:56.000 You know, emphasis on safe space safe. 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:59.160 Yes. And so I heard it's doing this International Women's 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:02.080 Day initiative. It's called the Women Take the Mic, And 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:04.240 so I just want each of us and I love 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:08.840 this because you also have this journal here yes, music, Yes, 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:11.240 but as we are talking about women. Take the mic. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.480 I want each of us to just have a reflection 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.000 on what it means for you like to be a woman, 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:19.600 and to embrace other women too, and just moments of 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:23.120 maybe people who have done something amazing for you. You know, 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:24.880 let's start with you, Laura. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:25.280 Oh. 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:30.960 Well for me, I've been blessed to always have strong 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:36.160 women I who inspire me, who encourages me to be 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:40.760 you know, I've grown up single mom by myself. Mother 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:42.960 was there but couldn't be there as much as she 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.960 wanted to. You know, my sister was away in the army. 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.840 I didn't have like a family female sister. But I've 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.359 always been blessed and God has always blessed me to 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.040 put women in my life. Every single woman in my life, 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:58.359 whether they're here or not, has had a huge impression 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.560 in my life. Like I've always and able to look 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.280 and see and have leaders, and it's always been the women, 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.519 Like every single time. Sometimes I'm like, God, how is 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:11.680 it that I've been so blessed to be around so 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:15.000 many strong women from all different walks of life, from 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:18.959 middle school, high school to my adult life. Like all 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.919 my female friends have always been five to six years 0:03:22.919 --> 0:03:26.680 older than me, and I've again that's a blessing, you know, 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.880 because sometimes when you hang with people your age, like 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.680 we're both growing and evolving at the same time. And 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:34.840 I think as a woman, you evolve in stages. You 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.280 evolve at your twenties, it is different from your thirties. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:39.720 And to be able to have something to see and 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:41.800 understand and say, Okay, this is where I'm gonna be at, 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.240 this is where I want to go, this is what 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.120 I want to do, this is how I want to think, 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.240 this is how I want to handle this. And even 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:51.200 with in relationships, you know, seeing what it is to 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:54.920 be a woman self love, loving yourself, seeing your friends 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:57.280 go through things and say, Okay, I don't want to 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:58.800 do that. I don't want to go through that, or 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.000 letting them know I've been do that, don't do that. 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.920 But I've been blessed and I'm so thankful where I'm 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.000 at right now in my life. 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.640 It's because of all the women that's been around me. 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.000 Do you think it's helped you to be like a 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:12.560 better mom? Since you say a single mom, it's like 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:15.800 you being surrounded by all these strong women was like 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.120 a blueprint or like a set up by God. He 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.760 knew you was definitely a setup by God because being 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.600 a young mother, I was so focused on just being 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.200 a mother, being a provider, being there for my kids. 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.200 And it was like, to me, all I saw was 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.120 having to make sure that I had these two little 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.599 human beings that I have to be everything for that 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.919 I forgot that I needed to be something for myself. 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:42.640 You understand what I'm saying, Like it was hard for 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.560 me to understand, Like I said, self love, Like my 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:46.880 love was my kids. 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.680 Right, Sometimes you got to put yourself first. And that's 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:51.640 a hard thing to do because it feels selfish because 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.279 you when you have kids, Yeah, it feels like you 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.279 got to put the kids first. 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.240 And yeah, and my. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:01.360 Friends always always always reminded me or no, like you 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.159 have to put into yourself, like when you're on a plane, 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.680 you have to put your mask on first to be 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:07.440 able to save. 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:09.880 Those in need. 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:13.599 And my friends always provided that in everywhere and ugly 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:15.400 and even when I didn't like it, like what are 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.320 you talking about? Like I got it, I understood it, 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:19.680 and yeah, I. 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.680 Love mine, mana. What about you when you think about 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.839 what it means for you growing being in the space 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.560 that you're in. It's not an easy industry. And I 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.320 know we're going to get into that too when we 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.880 talk about the new music. But how have women influence 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:35.880 where you are and who you are today? And who 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.400 are some people that you would credit to like really 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:38.839 helping you. 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.400 Well, you know, my mother was, My mother is a 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:46.160 strong force. She was the first black female police commissioner 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:50.200 in the United States. So that's like who we was 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:56.640 raised back, that's our person. But I was raised in 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:02.680 a predominantly female family. Like all of my aunts. They 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.119 were single moms, you know, but they had a husband, 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:08.159 but some were divorced, you know, up and down in relationships. 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:12.000 My mom is divorced obviously for my dad, but they 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.560 were together for you know, twenty some years. But still 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:20.120 it was very very female based. Everything was the mama, 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.719 the grandmama, the aunties, even the cousins. Was just very 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:28.239 female based. I have two sisters by my mom and dad, 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:32.240 and then I have two half sisters, you know, Ryan, 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.800 So I speak women, you know, I speak especially Black women. 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.840 I turn up on us, but I you know, I've 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.000 been and being the youngest, you know, I've been surrounded 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:47.240 by women my entire life. It's been my upbringing. But 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.360 what was interesting is and so my appreciation for them 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.720 is extremely hot, It is extremely high. But coming into 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.760 the music business was male for male dominate. So the 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.200 way that I looked at things was totally different from 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.640 the way that they looked at things. But that's when 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.600 I started, that's when I knew, that's when I grew 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.840 such an appreciation for the way that I looked at 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:13.040 things because it just it just it helped me in 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:15.360 a lot of ways. Women, the women in my life 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:18.920 taught me even though we were absent of men, male 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:21.840 strong male figures, they still taught me how to be 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.480 strong in the absence of that. And you know, they 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.160 will say that, you know, a woman needs a man 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.640 in her life to kind of let her know her value. 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:31.920 But the women in my life did a very good 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:33.640 job at stamping that. 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:33.960 Now. 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.400 I didn't always move like that, you know what I'm saying, 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.840 because you know, we just make mistakes in our life. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.800 But I think I had a solid foundation that was 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:44.680 built by women. You know what I'm saying. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:46.760 If you want to get something done right, ask a 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:48.000 woman to do it. 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:51.080 It's the truth. Though, it's the truth. It's not even 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:53.400 shade like it really is the truth. This is why 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:57.680 men hire a bunch of women to push their companies, right, 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:01.960 you know, no shade, and they be black, But I'm 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.520 just saying it be women of color. But at the 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:07.920 end of the day, I think that I have the 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:09.600 women who have pushed me, have been the women in 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.440 my family, and I am surrounded. I'm very blessed to 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:19.520 have friends who are very strong and professionals. Also my sorority, 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:21.880 you know, to have joined the sororities. I a sorority 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:26.760 incorporated is a is another additional sisterhood, you know. So 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:29.560 I've just if your friends are a reflection of who 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:30.120 you are. 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:32.040 I'm. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.720 What about you, Gig, what would you say? So? 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:40.080 I would definitely say that I always consider myself a 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:43.480 girl's girl, right, I always have women around me. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.200 I come from a family full of women. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:49.959 I have older sisters, aunts, and you know, family members 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:54.880 who are strong black women. I've been able to maintain 0:08:55.400 --> 0:09:00.680 lifelong friendships with friends from you know, from the block 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:01.840 as litt kids running aund. 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.360 Outside, playing hungle seek and stuff like that. 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:07.160 And that's hard to maintain, you know, as women, when 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.240 we grow and evolved, sometimes we shift apart. But you 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:11.920 know how you have those friends that no matter how 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.360 long y'all talk, y'all jump right back in like y'all 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:17.880 just talked yesterday. So I'm grateful for those relationships that 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.240 I have. And I also want to take this opportunity, 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:24.440 Angela to give you your flowers someone okay, because look at 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.720 this space that you've created for us and have brought 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:32.559 me into. And we'll be celebrating ten years in September doing. 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.000 G always knows how long it's been. 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:38.240 I don't because she just yeah, I'll be on it. 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:41.760 And you know, I'm just grateful for this opportunity that 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.400 has led to so many other opportunities and opened so 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:48.120 many doors for me. We've done all types of festivals 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:51.000 and all types of you know, just different engagements, and 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:55.040 we went on tour and I've experienced and had the 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:58.640 pleasure to meet people like you and you know for 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.000 so long and it's just so easy and it's just 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.439 so regular to me now. But you know, I have 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.520 my friends that are in awe of this platform that 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:08.800 I'm on, in this opportunity to have. 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.160 So I just want to thank you like. 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.760 I always do for this, and I also appreciate the 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.680 friendship that we have and have been able to maintain 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:16.800 for so many years as well. 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.200 Well. I love to see when my friends win. So 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.520 when Gigi's like, oh, we got this documentary, and like 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:24.880 to see when she's happy about something, and she'd be like, okay, girl, 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:26.600 you the second person because I'm never the first. I'm 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.600 always a second. But she's like, you're the second person 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:31.640 I'm calling and telling us. But I think that's what 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:34.079 it's really about for us. A lot of times they 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.880 act like women are very competitive with each other, and 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.920 I find that, like a lot of stuff that I've 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:43.200 done in spaces of entrepreneurship and spaces like this, we 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:46.760 do get so much support from women more or stronger 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:50.360 in numbers. Yeah, and it's not an easy journey, but 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.640 I do want to say that I've been really blessed, 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.600 Like even with some partnerships that we have with our 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.199 coffee company, you know, coffee Uplist people. We have a 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.200 black woman importer, a black woman role there that Rosar 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:05.640 beans Laura manages the shop. You know. Also but even 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:07.560 you know, just those things, some of the things that 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:10.880 we're doing with Pinky from Sluddy Vegan that's so exciting 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:12.800 to me, just to see the partnerships that we've been 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.480 able to form. And as soon as I put something out, 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:17.719 it's always like my girls that are like, just pick 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.320 this up. They post it and support you, and that's 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:22.400 great to see. Like even for you, Selena, You're on 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:25.360 tour right now and I see so many women posting 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:29.000 you like and feeling uplifted by your music for so long. 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:31.520 I think that's a huge thing because it speaks to 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.640 them and they can relate to it, and even you 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.880 being open in spaces like seeing you on marriage boot 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:41.360 Camp and fix my Life. But that's not an easy 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.560 thing to do, is to share your life with people. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.240 But you don't know who you're helping when they're having 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.400 the opportunity to see those things, because people might look 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.840 at you as an artist and be like, she's so perfect, 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:51.440 she's so this. 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.679 They're looking at all of us like that. Yeah, you know, 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.480 they're looking at y'all like that, Oh, they got it 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:56.719 all together, they got it all going on. 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:58.280 They don't think we perfect. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.839 Of them. If you got more followers than them, they 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.720 think you better off than them. That's what they think. 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.040 Yeah, I mean, And that's what I want to talk 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:09.880 to you about. Just being in a space where you're 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:11.960 able to even open up the way that you have, 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.839 because I feel like that's what makes somebody relatable when 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.240 we don't just hear the music and so you perform, 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.680 but we also know who you are as a person 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.560 and like the things that you've gone through, you know. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.880 So I just want to say that even just watching 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.000 you early on and like, you know, like she got 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:31.079 a beautiful voice from a young age, a grown voice. 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:34.719 Like right, cham me up in the in the beginning, add. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:36.360 Don't know where that came from, but now like you 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:38.920 have this song now, I was listening to this Monster's 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:42.280 in the closet, Yes, and it seems like there's a 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.199 lot more you want to tell us. 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:50.000 Well, okay, So when my father died in twenty twenty 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:54.320 two and rest in peace, Hill Johnson, my father was 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:58.400 Blues Hall of Famer soul R and B blues artist. 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.079 He was like one of the most sample artists and 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:06.200 sampled history, you know, and back in the day, you know, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.480 he came out and during like the Civil Rights movement, 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:12.400 he was like popular during that time. He went through 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.200 a lot of anguish as you can imagine, and I 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.800 feel like a lot of those things that he went through. 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.880 He didn't pray those off of me, you know, So 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.440 that was I think I kind of absorbed a generation 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:27.000 or adopted a generational curse in a lot of different 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:29.000 ways because of the things that I went through in 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:31.480 the industry were very similar to some of the things 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:35.280 that he had to experience. And so monsters in the closet. 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.520 When my father died, I think I just had like 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:42.760 a it was like an avalanche of all the pain 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:46.160 and all of the drama and trauma that was called 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:49.640 that is caused by this music business just came to 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:54.200 a head, and that song was birthed from that moment. 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.840 You know, Like these monsters that are in this industry, 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:02.600 they are. And I was in therapy because you know, 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.559 I am transparent, I just be talking. But I was 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.120 in therapy the other one time and I was talking 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.360 to Love McPherson, you know love me. You may know 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:15.080 Love mcpheerson. She's a therapist man, And we were talking 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.440 about monsters in the closet and I was having one 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:19.960 of those sessions where you crying and carrying on and stuff, 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.000 and she said, you know, Selena, seems like your monsters 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:27.640 are men. And that was right. That hit me down 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.800 in my stomach, you know, and so that really took 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.840 me out even worse because this is a male dominated 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:37.320 industry and not necessarily that someone has to do a 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:41.800 physical assault to you. But there's a lot there's a 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:45.240 lot of shit that be jumping off. That's mental abuse 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:49.840 that is actually worse than the actual physical abuse and 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:53.960 gatekeeping and blocking you from getting things and doing things 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.680 simply because you have breast, you know what I'm saying. 0:14:56.760 --> 0:15:01.360 So for me, it was about, you know, my father 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:06.280 experiencing the racism. He had a very cultural conscious album 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.640 called is Because I'm Black during a time the Civil 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.520 Rights movement era. His label shelved it said that the 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:18.280 lyrics were too controversial later on. So that's imagine you 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.760 have a whole album, whole project, and then the label 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:22.440 will be like, oh no, we don't like the lyrics 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:23.440 and all this. 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.840 Work, and it exactly proves his point. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.560 It exactly was the point. But you know they didn't care, right, 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:33.800 people don't care at that time. Didn't even do it right. 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.480 You can't do where people gonna hear it, you. 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.720 Know exactly, and so they're just still your still your ship. 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.560 And then make it like theirs, but you know he 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.240 I mean I did like think like my dad would 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.840 be on buses where you know, going through towns where 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.600 it's burning crosses, like really like in my mind, like 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.640 going back to those moments of Trump, that had to 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:55.000 be traumatic. You know, everybody in that era had to 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.240 be like probably still dealing with trauma from that. 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:04.160 Your career and what you love correct was traumatizing. It 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:05.000 was traumatized. 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:09.640 So monsters in the closet came from, you know, thinking 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:13.360 of how he died and still wasn't in a place 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:16.360 that he felt he should have been. Like we could 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:18.840 look at him and look at his accomplishments and be like, man, 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.640 you go down in history. My dad's in the Blues 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.040 Hall of Fame, my uncle's in the Blues Hall of Fame, 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.880 Like that's big. But to feel inside even though you 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.000 don't have even though you have all these accomplishments, but 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.600 still feel like you haven't done anything that's deep and 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.440 so that's sad to me. That's sad, And it's like 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:39.080 secondhand trauma for me. 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.520 How do you feel about you being in this business 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.440 after what he went through? 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.560 Well, so me and my dad had an a strange 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.560 relationship because when I signed to Jive Records, he felt 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.440 like I left him, so we didn't have the best relationship. 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:58.480 It was very icon Teina from then on. But when 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.280 my father got sick, you know, all that kind of 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.080 goes way. You got you start to when you see 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.600 someone that was a juggernaut in your life weak and 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:11.280 not able to do, you know, and be this strong 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:13.359 person that's been cussing you out your whole life. You 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.880 know what I'm saying, You just be like, it don't 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.879 matter what you did at this moment. You're my daddy 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.560 right now, you know. So Monsters in the Closet came 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:23.800 from the frustration of what he had been through and 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.720 had not healed from on top of what I deal 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.720 with already and had been through, and I just got 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.119 sick of it. So I kind of just, you know, 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:33.240 said what I have to say. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:36.040 And I'm glad you say all that because people don't understand. 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:37.719 You know, we see a lot of things happening and 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.280 coming to the light and the music business, and people like, 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.400 why didn't they say something at the time that had happened, 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.840 or you know, you just was going to be in 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:47.160 the room while that was going on. And not do anything, 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:49.199 or you just let that person. But why didn't you 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:50.960 just walk away and do X, Y and Z. 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.320 Right, Well, everybody, if it was a fifth we all 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:58.280 be drunk. Answer. We're all sweating, you know in here. 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.040 You know, so at the end of the day, we 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.320 would all have done something different. But first of all, 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:08.040 you have to take age into consideration. When I was signed, 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.320 I was twenty one years old. You know, I'm forty seven. Now, 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:15.919 that's twenty six years ago. Of like not even you 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.359 don't know your ass from your boy twenty one and 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.359 I wouldn't have known that until I was in my 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.320 fort You see what I'm saying. Till now, we wouldn't 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.520 have known that. We didn't know shit. Now, back then, 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.280 we thought we knew a whole bunch, we had all 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:31.000 we worst way, we did have all the answers. But 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:35.040 now you realize you and you can give yourself grace 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:39.320 for things now because you know that you didn't know much, 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:41.720 You didn't know what to do, you didn't know better, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:42.600 and you. 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:46.160 Weren't support that either. No, I feel like now there's 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:49.840 people will actually listen. Even though some people will still 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.359 bash you, there will be people who support you. And 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:54.600 you have a platform to be able to express yourself 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:55.120 and to. 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.400 Social media too, because you could just come on your 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.760 own page and say what time it is and people 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:00.520 will you. 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:01.920 And you could be like, well, if I'm not signed 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.800 to that label anymore, there's other ways that I can 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.640 make my money. It's not dependent on that. And also, yeah, 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:11.119 so I think back then it was definitely different. And 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:13.399 like you said, being younger, I mean, there's things I 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.439 went through when I was in my early twenties that 0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:18.479 you just be like, let me just keep on pushing 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:22.879 and everything. Just keep on pushing, you know, blinders, you 0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:24.840 don't want to get blackballed. You feel like, well if 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.600 I say something, maybe I won't be able to work again. 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:28.679 No one's believe me. 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:32.639