Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer Pokaser.
Speaker 2: Here's Nicky. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Right before we started, a crazy
Speaker 2: video of Emily from Noah's like archives of like video
Speaker 2: to play just started playing. Gen z m of of
Speaker 2: you crying at the movie. What was the movie that
Speaker 2: you were crying about? Mild ass. Yeah, definitely recommend seeing that,
Speaker 2: but that just randomly came up. Sean O'Connor is here,
Speaker 2: Brian Frangie is here, Noah's here. We're in Los Angeles, California.
Speaker 2: What is that? What were you used to?
Speaker 3: We're in Los Angeles? I mean, this is it?
Speaker 1: This is this?
Speaker 3: The city is thriving.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's California, dream man. It is is the city thriving?
Speaker 3: You get know, it just suffered like one of the
Speaker 3: hugest tragedies of its history, and it's following the industry
Speaker 3: is imploding. Uh Yeah, being in LA is one of
Speaker 3: the worst places to be, I think in the.
Speaker 2: World other than kV No.
Speaker 1: This is honestly, even with everything going to ship, La
Speaker 1: is still a city.
Speaker 3: Well, you guys been to a lot of cities lately.
Speaker 3: Said we have Ontario.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, Victoria, Canada was like the like,
Speaker 2: I want to just tell all the besties straight up, Victoria,
Speaker 2: British Columbia is one of the most beautiful cities ever.
Speaker 1: Everyone should move there and ruin it perfect. It's like, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was so quaint and lovely that like their busker
Speaker 1: was like an old man playing the bagpipes. Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, it was really really like beautiful. They have
Speaker 2: Christmas like a Christmas light kind of outline on every building,
Speaker 2: but it's not Christmas lights. There's space to part enough
Speaker 2: that it doesn't give Christmas, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like is it white lights or colored lights?
Speaker 2: White light? Every city should do that.
Speaker 3: That's like winter.
Speaker 2: Why isn't every city doing this city does it? It's
Speaker 2: so cute. It makes everything like pop. It like just
Speaker 2: looks it's giving it just it was like I was
Speaker 2: so mad at America for not stealing that, and I
Speaker 2: think we should Harbor Town. It was like an it's
Speaker 2: on an island.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like right off the coast of Vancouver. It's
Speaker 1: so lovely. Oh my god, we should feel it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need it. It is The Canadians do not
Speaker 2: have a sense of humor about us. Possibly stealing them.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know the gravity of the situation before
Speaker 2: I went there, and then I researched it, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: this isn't They're mad. They should be.
Speaker 3: They're boycotting American goods good.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, they they have every right to.
Speaker 2: I would be few I come to my show if
Speaker 2: I were them. I'm like shocked they still.
Speaker 3: See you're American good.
Speaker 2: I'm an American good. Most isn't the American mediocre? That
Speaker 2: is true? Like, I am like, wait, are they gonna
Speaker 2: still show these shows?
Speaker 3: You pay taxes in America, so therefore part of the
Speaker 3: money that they paid to see your show is going
Speaker 3: to is going to Trump?
Speaker 2: No, no, doage.
Speaker 1: Listen. Nikki is a standout. She has no allegiance to
Speaker 1: the American government. She is not corn. Like corn go
Speaker 1: to the show.
Speaker 2: I'm not Jack Daniels. What else are they like not eating?
Speaker 3: There was something else syrup Canadian syrup, great lombirds. That
Speaker 3: Trump wants to cut down all of our national forests
Speaker 3: so that we can compete with the lack of lumber.
Speaker 3: That we're gonna not no longer get from here.
Speaker 1: We have more Josh Gadds than any other country.
Speaker 2: I will say that I love performing in Canada because
Speaker 2: you can say things on stage politically that you can't
Speaker 2: say here because your audience is split here no matter.
Speaker 2: I mean for me, at least, they're split. And I
Speaker 2: appreciate that.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 2: It's crazy, and so whenever I do say something, those
Speaker 2: who know know and those who don't know just go
Speaker 2: along with it because they can't really tell what I'm
Speaker 2: doing exactly.
Speaker 3: I would say, but you might be one of the only,
Speaker 3: like in the top you're in, like the top twenty
Speaker 3: comedians in the world. You might be the only one
Speaker 3: that did it with that type of swath, Like who
Speaker 3: has a direct like the people who.
Speaker 2: Are along I bet has Taylor Tomlinson probably has no.
Speaker 3: No, they're definitely. I think they're all Yeah, they're all left.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. Taylor Thomlinson is.
Speaker 3: Not Taylor Thomlinson.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I think that she's split down the middle because.
Speaker 1: She started in like the Christian.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, Nate, I think even though you would think
Speaker 2: he has a lot from the right, I think a
Speaker 2: lot from the I think I think comedy actually is
Speaker 2: pretty down down there, and I don't think it's that
Speaker 2: its hard to do because I'm not like trying to
Speaker 2: do that. I just don't want to know in the
Speaker 2: audience who voted for him, because I don't want to
Speaker 2: like feel sad about the country, Like I just don't
Speaker 2: want to focus on it. So that's why I kind
Speaker 2: of steer away from that stuff. But up in Canada,
Speaker 2: when you even say his because I have a joke
Speaker 2: that says his name, but it isn't like it would
Speaker 2: in America. It never indicates to me what side people
Speaker 2: are on. I don't really care, and I don't even
Speaker 2: want to hear from the left side, by the way,
Speaker 2: I don't want people like Trump. I don't want that either.
Speaker 2: I just want to say his name and have it
Speaker 2: be a joke and not have to like have incite
Speaker 2: a riot that's used to Even though this weekend it
Speaker 2: like really like it distracted me, like the second you
Speaker 2: said his name, like in it was Portland, Maine. Those
Speaker 2: people that's a quiet, quaint fishing village. They are there's
Speaker 2: an anger simmering in Portland, Maine. And I love you guys,
Speaker 2: but they're you all dress like hippies. You all dress
Speaker 2: like you're doing that, like you know in where you
Speaker 2: connect to the wires between trees and you balance on them,
Speaker 2: like and you play frisbee and hacky sack and you
Speaker 2: listen to like Dar Williams. But you you're mad about.
Speaker 3: From they've been discarded. They're the second Portland even though
Speaker 3: they were the first.
Speaker 2: They do not have a sense of humor, And you
Speaker 2: were right you because we were writing roast jokes about
Speaker 2: Portland Maine and Brian's headline at the top was, hey,
Speaker 2: by the way, Portland main does not have a sense
Speaker 2: of humor about himself. And I called them out on
Speaker 2: it on the second show because I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: by the way, we all know you don't have a sense.
Speaker 2: That's why, like these aren't even as hard as they
Speaker 2: should be. Yeah, I'm going light on you guys, so
Speaker 2: just just open your minds a little bit and know
Speaker 2: that you are all pussies.
Speaker 1: They were very interesting in what they went along with, like, yes,
Speaker 1: denigrating them at all, being like, you guys are the
Speaker 1: like the second most popular Portland. They're pissed off, yeah,
Speaker 1: but being like you all have du.
Speaker 2: Yeah they love celebrating their alcoholism. But I will say
Speaker 2: I loved those crowds and they just I would be
Speaker 2: a little bit angry too. I feel like Maine feels forgotten,
Speaker 2: like like no one everyone makes it almost feels like
Speaker 2: Canada up there. Yeah, it does, Like I feel like
Speaker 2: we have forgotten Maine even though it's a beautiful state
Speaker 2: and Portland, Maine really is like a very cute town.
Speaker 2: It's like it's a older because when we were in Victoria,
Speaker 2: it was beautiful, like abnormally beautiful, so it was it's
Speaker 2: kind of like Victoria there's like a harbor and yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah absolutely, Like to me, like Portland, main felt
Speaker 1: like the city and Jaws without the shark, Like there
Speaker 1: was like nothing to actually worry about. So it was
Speaker 1: like just people like bice cling and like walking in
Speaker 1: seven degree weather and they're like, weird that you look cold?
Speaker 1: Yea yeah yeah, Like I saw a guy in shorts
Speaker 1: like outside of the dispensary and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, what are you doing? Yes, it was we don't
Speaker 2: know if people were dressing as fishermen because they're fishermen
Speaker 2: or ironically was like the vibe there's but when you're
Speaker 2: in Canada. Back to what I was saying, Oh, by
Speaker 2: the way, jen z m is here. I forgot to
Speaker 2: say that, and I'm sorry that I didn't repeat it.
Speaker 2: But and she was there with us this weekend as well.
Speaker 2: But but in Canada you can say, if you want
Speaker 2: to go scream about Trump on stage, they'll have it,
Speaker 2: and you can go buck wild for a little bit
Speaker 2: and no one's gonna walk out, no one's gonna get offended,
Speaker 2: no one's gonna film.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize the free like I knew that they
Speaker 2: would be. I didn't know. I kind of indulged in
Speaker 2: it a couple of times because it just felt like
Speaker 2: like you know when you when your mom leaves and
Speaker 2: you can scream into a pillow and be like like
Speaker 2: you know some it just felt like your a.
Speaker 3: Comedian in two thousand and six.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean it felt free.
Speaker 1: It was. It was magical like when you were talking
Speaker 1: about it, the pops that you were getting were like
Speaker 1: Martin Lawrence hosting.
Speaker 2: Deaf Jab explosive.
Speaker 1: Honestly, It's like it was like you were talking about
Speaker 1: funky drawers and.
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't basket it too long, but I
Speaker 2: was just like, Okay, I'm gonna enjoy this while I can.
Speaker 2: This is like it was like the feeling of what
Speaker 2: I took my shirt off on a Bert Kreischer tour
Speaker 2: and I was like, this was fun to do for
Speaker 2: a second and I felt free, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is a different feeling on stage.
Speaker 1: But it was.
Speaker 2: It was really nice to just let her rip of that.
Speaker 2: And I had no idea that you could. I mean,
Speaker 2: I guess I don't know what I was thinking. Of
Speaker 2: course you can, but they are. They are very upset.
Speaker 1: The most magical thing in the world though, was like
Speaker 1: cause you were you did that and then like people
Speaker 1: were like whoa, And then you had a joke about
Speaker 1: how Justin Trudeau was hot and everyone food him.
Speaker 2: My god, we had no idea they hate Justin Trudeau
Speaker 2: as they hate Trump.
Speaker 3: It's coming back, though, because Canadian nationalism is on the
Speaker 3: rise because of Trump, and so now Trudeau is a
Speaker 3: little bit more popular than probably even.
Speaker 2: The Booze. If you were performing in Vermont about Trump
Speaker 2: like it was in saying Trump is hot in Vermont,
Speaker 2: like it was, I had to change the joke. It
Speaker 2: was a good joke, but I was like, I can't
Speaker 2: do that. So we go backstage and I go, guys,
Speaker 2: what they hate Trudeau? Like what's going on? We kind
Speaker 2: of all didn't understand. We knew he was leaving, you know,
Speaker 2: he resigned, but like we didn't know he was like
Speaker 2: I didn't know he was like pushed into resignation by
Speaker 2: the country. And I opened this article that was like
Speaker 2: why do Canadians hate justin Truda? And it was like
Speaker 2: it was like you coming from America, it was like
Speaker 2: reading about a boyfriend who like sometimes like I don't know,
Speaker 2: like farts in bed, and you're like leaving him and
Speaker 2: I'm in a relationship where I'm getting beat every night
Speaker 2: and throw downstairs and like he's calling me a dumb
Speaker 2: whore and like you know what I mean. Like it
Speaker 2: was like the reasons were like the blackface incident was
Speaker 2: the biggest one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where did you make fun of him for that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, But it was like I said, like he's hot.
Speaker 2: You think I care about blackface? I'm surry, Like I
Speaker 2: made a joke like that, which is obviously I do
Speaker 2: care about black face, please. That was his biggest crime
Speaker 2: to them. And also like one time he went on
Speaker 2: vacation during a national holiday that's supposed to holiday. It
Speaker 2: was a holiday to celebrate you know, uh, indigenous peoples
Speaker 2: who the land had been taken from, and he was
Speaker 2: on he like went surfing that day or something, which, yes,
Speaker 2: that doesn't look good. But like in the scheme of things.
Speaker 3: Dad Cruz went to cancuon when his city was out
Speaker 3: of electricity, and Karen Bath went to Ghana when the
Speaker 3: city burned.
Speaker 2: Screamed at them the next set, I go, you don't
Speaker 2: like trueau give me. I just read an article. I
Speaker 2: read every single reason you don't get to.
Speaker 1: You know where I come from.
Speaker 2: I was like this on the streets. Now they really
Speaker 2: liked it. They got like, I was like, how terary. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was like the same sho kind of incident. You
Speaker 2: know where we look back. We're like, oh they got
Speaker 2: mad at he wore a beige suit and.
Speaker 1: They were like they turned their nose up because he
Speaker 1: like shook a guy who might have been in Nazi's hand.
Speaker 2: Parliament and he didn't know. It was like he didn't
Speaker 2: didn't know the guy was announce.
Speaker 1: And then like like Nikki's joke was like it was
Speaker 1: like and our secretary of Defense is a.
Speaker 2: It's it's it was wild, but uh, we had a
Speaker 2: we had a fun time on the road. This weekend.
Speaker 2: So I was flying to Hartford on Friday. I'm in
Speaker 2: the lounge, the American Airlines lounge at Saint Louis Airport,
Speaker 2: which I didn't know existed.
Speaker 1: Until till miss Friday, even though I fly out of
Speaker 1: not At airport literally twice a.
Speaker 2: Week or whatever, because I think I just get there
Speaker 2: just in time to make my flight because I know
Speaker 2: it and timing so well that I don't I'm not
Speaker 2: like hanging out, but I went to the lounge. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: cool lounge here, and so I'm sitting there. I forgot
Speaker 2: what was like doing on my phone, but then I
Speaker 2: just get a text from my mom that's like, Nikki,
Speaker 2: I just want to let you know that we let
Speaker 2: Goldie out this morning to go pee before she ate,
Speaker 2: and she never came back. And she's been gone for
Speaker 2: about forty five minutes, and and we don't know where
Speaker 2: she went. And we're going up to We're gonna go,
Speaker 2: you know, drive around the neighborhood now and look for her.
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, you know, she's been
Speaker 2: gone forty five minutes. Like I wasn't like panicked. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And also I can't be because there's nothing I can do.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that is in me that like
Speaker 2: doesn't get fucked up about stuff that's an emergency, yeah,
Speaker 2: when I can't do anything. But I think it's a
Speaker 2: logical part of my brain that more people should adopt
Speaker 2: that you shouldn't start crying and shaking and panicking when
Speaker 2: there's literally nothing that that's going to do. Like when
Speaker 2: you're on a plane, doing this isn't going to make
Speaker 2: the plane be better. It might help you, but you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like anything you think is like
Speaker 2: I think in the moment, I feel a little callous
Speaker 2: because I was kind of just like okay, and then
Speaker 2: I just went back to my podcast, like I literally
Speaker 2: and then I was even like, why are you going
Speaker 2: back to the podcast? Why are you going back to
Speaker 2: watching reels? And I'm thinking about the dog. Obviously I'm
Speaker 2: trying to distract myself.
Speaker 3: It's a good survival instinct in a crisis, you know,
Speaker 3: But at some point, whether you like it or not,
Speaker 3: those emotions will need to be pro ketch up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not letting them catch up with me
Speaker 2: until my dog is dead, like I refused in this.
Speaker 2: So this led to a so eight in the morning
Speaker 2: and she wasn't found until I think it was probably
Speaker 2: nine thirty at night Saint Louis times nighttime. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: it went it was thirteen and a half hours that
Speaker 2: she was missing. Whoa, yeah, which is so long. So
Speaker 2: I went through all the emotions, like I fly on
Speaker 2: the go on the plane and I'm like, they'll find
Speaker 2: her within an hour, like the first it was almost
Speaker 2: like the first forty eight, like you're.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, oh, she's probably just like on the other side.
Speaker 2: Of the fence totally, and or like maybe she's just
Speaker 2: down in this creek. That's like. But like she just
Speaker 2: got out of a hole in the fence that my
Speaker 2: dad repaired the day before because my dog Luigi was
Speaker 2: getting out because they always find a way out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they could dig under and so the Luigi and Marian
Speaker 2: just came back right to the door to like ready
Speaker 2: to eat, and Mary or and Goldie is just abandoned,
Speaker 2: which Chris and I are like.
Speaker 3: What the fuck they got out?
Speaker 2: Also, no, they just came back to eat because they
Speaker 2: go out to pete and then they come back in
Speaker 2: to eat, So it's like a two minute thing.
Speaker 3: Goldie is too young, she wants to run.
Speaker 1: They were just being they were like bullying her and
Speaker 1: she had to run away.
Speaker 2: Like I am, I can't even I'm so mad at
Speaker 2: them for letting her just not come back and not
Speaker 2: being like, hey, come back, even though I don't even
Speaker 2: know that's how dogs communicate. But my dad went to
Speaker 2: go brush his teeth, let the dogs out, and came
Speaker 2: back minutes later. Goldie's not there, So then you know,
Speaker 2: the panic ensues, and so I go on the plane
Speaker 2: and I sleep a little bit on the plane, but
Speaker 2: I have dreams about her. And then I wake up
Speaker 2: and I'm checking my phone and my and Chris's number
Speaker 2: are on her collar, and everyone's telling me start calling
Speaker 2: the shell like we land, she's still not found, Start
Speaker 2: calling the shelters, ask if they got reported if someone
Speaker 2: found a dog and turned it in. I'm like, but
Speaker 2: wouldn't they call me? Like the numbers on her fucking caller?
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 2: People have a lot of ideas, like I know it's
Speaker 2: being helpful, but Anya's like, you need to post it
Speaker 2: on your story, and I'm like, okay, no, because all
Speaker 2: that is is going to make people go, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry your dog's misa, Like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: flooded hundreds of people. Oh my god, that's so scary.
Speaker 2: Let us know when she's found, so much panic about
Speaker 2: everyone else who's seen her on my story. I don't
Speaker 2: need to like have that coming at me and the
Speaker 2: good it would do. Like I'm trying to measure it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, am I putting my like not ego of
Speaker 2: like my dog's lost? I don't really care. Your dog
Speaker 2: is not like a like, I'm not a bad person.
Speaker 2: My parents aren't bad dog owners. This could happen to
Speaker 2: literally anyone they had a fence to you. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I'm not I don't even care about that because I
Speaker 2: know that I did nothing wrong, so I would come
Speaker 2: out hard. Yeah, and the people I trusted are good.
Speaker 2: They they are dog owners for years and years when
Speaker 2: they raised you. Yeah, and look away. I got away
Speaker 2: as soon as I could. But I'm thriving once I
Speaker 2: get away. So I thought Goldie, yeah, might really become
Speaker 2: a famous comedian. But she so I would. But I
Speaker 2: was just like, because I'm just like, post it on
Speaker 2: your story, and I'm like me, is me not posting
Speaker 2: this on my story gonna make her not found? But
Speaker 2: like I go, I said, Tony, I think I said,
Speaker 2: I think point zero zero zero zero zero zero one
Speaker 2: percent of my followers live within a two mile radius
Speaker 2: of where she's missing, and the fact the chance that
Speaker 2: they're gonna She's like, well, you could get the word
Speaker 2: out it, Honestly I don't. It would not have helped
Speaker 2: to me is.
Speaker 3: Going to fly to Saint It's just like creating.
Speaker 2: Alarm that doesn't need to be done when and then
Speaker 2: on top I go and when she's found, I have
Speaker 2: to report it to everyone. There's gonna be a flood
Speaker 2: of dms being like we're so glad she's found, which
Speaker 2: is all very lovely, and people just mean, well, I
Speaker 2: would do the same thing if one of my friends
Speaker 2: posted that their dog was missing, Like, I understand why
Speaker 2: people do that. I just didn't want the attention. But
Speaker 2: even then, like Anya, I guess posted the the my
Speaker 2: parents posted on Facebook, like on a local Facebook, which
Speaker 2: makes more sense, yes, because I don't have a local Facebook.
Speaker 2: And then Anya took that and posted it on her Facebook.
Speaker 2: And so I was getting messages from Anya's fans being
Speaker 2: like I heard that Goaldie's missing. I'm like, this is annoying.
Speaker 2: You're in New Jersey. Yeah, and no, offense to that
Speaker 2: person who messaged me. I wasn't annoyed at you, like
Speaker 2: you found out, but I was annoyed, like this doesn't
Speaker 2: help anything. And I but I think people just like
Speaker 2: need to like do everything they can. But sometimes I
Speaker 2: think everything you can is not the best method. And
Speaker 2: so I just want to defend that because I feel
Speaker 2: like I seem to be a little bit like maybe
Speaker 2: do that. But I had Emily make posters immediately because
Speaker 2: we were driving to Hartford from Boston. We landed Boston,
Speaker 2: Emily made a missing poster. We sent it to Kinko's,
Speaker 2: my mom printed up. They put it around the neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Taylor McGraw from the podcast drove because she watches Goldie
Speaker 2: sometimes when my parents can't. Drove to my parents' neighborhood
Speaker 2: and went looking for her all day long with my
Speaker 2: parents and put up posters and talking to neighborhood kids.
Speaker 2: And she was like, she's gonna get found. Someone spotted
Speaker 2: her around. She was spotted at like five pm or something,
Speaker 2: and so we knew she was still live, like within
Speaker 2: a quarter mile of our house. And so I was
Speaker 2: like kind of feeling like chill about it. Chris was
Speaker 2: one hundred percent sure a coyote got her, because a
Speaker 2: coyote was spotted.
Speaker 3: On the next door.
Speaker 2: No, he was here and not feeling good. He was
Speaker 2: already sick and like he would have flown right away
Speaker 2: to go find her. He was like at a fly
Speaker 2: out the next morning with like a terminal illness. He
Speaker 2: seems like he.
Speaker 3: Literally the second time that that happened to him, what
Speaker 3: that he was sick and had to have He couldn't
Speaker 3: fly somewhere because of it, because it didn't that happen
Speaker 3: of her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's getting sick, alive, giving or something.
Speaker 1: He's working himself ragged, ragged.
Speaker 2: He wouldn't let me say that, but he works too
Speaker 2: hard and his immune system is suffering, and so he
Speaker 2: was gonna fly out. And because yeah, coyote was spotted
Speaker 2: on the next door, app like in the radius of
Speaker 2: the like the yard. But then we didn't hear any barking,
Speaker 2: like the dogs all would have been barking. Goldie has
Speaker 2: this thing where she if she if we go to
Speaker 2: a dog park that it has no dogs in it,
Speaker 2: she will freeze. She can't even like walk in it
Speaker 2: because she smells big dogs. So she can smell big
Speaker 2: dogs and she can't. She will I'll know when a
Speaker 2: big dog is near because she just freezes and starts
Speaker 2: shaking because like they can smell him. So if she
Speaker 2: would smell the coyote, yeah, she was just frozen somewhere
Speaker 2: in a field. Yeah, and so she I just knew
Speaker 2: that the dogs were not gonna like be chill if
Speaker 2: a kyok.
Speaker 3: Glean from this for for anybody, is that when someone's
Speaker 3: having a tragedy or a crisis or something like that,
Speaker 3: you don't do what you.
Speaker 1: Want to do.
Speaker 3: You ask them what can I do for you? And
Speaker 3: you do what they say. If they say, you know what,
Speaker 3: it would be nice if you just left me alone,
Speaker 3: or if they say I could really use food or whatever.
Speaker 2: But my friends were panicking like it was their own dog,
Speaker 2: which I really appreciate. Right, They all were like crying
Speaker 2: and praying. They don't even pray. Sara Lena made her
Speaker 2: husband pray and she was He said he was. She
Speaker 2: said he was very confused, Like everyone on the Girl's
Speaker 2: chat was like that. It was so sweet how they
Speaker 2: almost cared more than I did because I wasn't really
Speaker 2: letting it in because I was like I was, I
Speaker 2: cared I did everything I did to find her, but
Speaker 2: I'm like, I think she's just gonna Based on all
Speaker 2: the stories people were telling me about dogs that had
Speaker 2: gone missing all day, Emily had a story the dog
Speaker 2: finds its way back. You get the word out in
Speaker 2: the neighborhood. That's like a cat, but it had a
Speaker 2: collar on, it's micro chipped, Like, yeah, if it ends
Speaker 2: up somewhere, someone's gonna call me. So the fact that
Speaker 2: no one called me was meant no one had she
Speaker 2: was not in someone's possession, or if she was, they
Speaker 2: had stole her and I was never gonna see her
Speaker 2: again and someone just has her now, which okay, you know,
Speaker 2: like even I played that out, and I'm like, if
Speaker 2: someone wants a dog that bad, they're not gonna beat it,
Speaker 2: Like at least you'll have a good life. Maybe either
Speaker 2: a psychopath, but maybe they'll sell to someone who like
Speaker 2: likes like, like you know, if a child gets kidnapped,
Speaker 2: their fate is not good, Like it's not often that
Speaker 2: they're kidnapping a child so they can give it a
Speaker 2: great home. True, and so it's I was like kind
Speaker 2: of hopeful that maybe if she Like in my mind,
Speaker 2: I'm like if she gets stolen. When she disappears without
Speaker 2: a trace, I'll hope that someone stole her, or if
Speaker 2: it's coyote, I hope it was a fast death. And
Speaker 2: at least she provided food to a starving animal that's
Speaker 2: been displaced because of construction. I was like rationalizing everything,
Speaker 2: and I was talking to Chris on the phone, like
Speaker 2: we had really like good eight months with her, and
Speaker 2: you know this is a mistake.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to whoa.
Speaker 2: And I just bought a fucking house for his dog.
Speaker 2: So I literally went under contract the day before for
Speaker 2: a house that I'm literally only getting so I can
Speaker 2: have a yard. Do I have a dog because my
Speaker 2: dog doesn't like to go out in the neighborhood. I
Speaker 2: live in a long walk.
Speaker 3: From the apartment hall to the.
Speaker 2: Quarter of a mile.
Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing, Like a quarterback, even dogs, they
Speaker 1: don't change is hard.
Speaker 2: So like she was just acting.
Speaker 3: This is a protest. This is a runaway from home.
Speaker 2: Situation she has. She's getting cold feet about the house
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: Yes, all of her memories are so tied up in
Speaker 1: your apartment.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, do you remember when Lady Gaga's dog
Speaker 3: walker right here in Hollywood was shot, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: And then to all the celebrities whose dogs have gone
Speaker 2: missing that I've heard about through the years and I
Speaker 2: have felt for I feel for you so much harder,
Speaker 2: and to all the like now I know what it's
Speaker 2: like to like think that something you love has been
Speaker 2: taken like very quickly, like listen. I have empathy for
Speaker 2: people who lose their dogs to sickness or like you know,
Speaker 2: and when it's fast or like you know, when it's
Speaker 2: like you know, I have friends that their eighteen year
Speaker 2: old dog just died or nineteen year old dog, and
Speaker 2: it's kind of like that's like when someone loses a grandma,
Speaker 2: Like you're sad for that person, but it's like we
Speaker 2: see this coming, like you're on borrow time, like let's
Speaker 2: all wrap our heads around it. But when your dog
Speaker 2: is stolen or just disappears, or like I don't want
Speaker 2: a kid now at all, like Chris and I decided,
Speaker 2: like one percent the pain we suffered this weekend for
Speaker 2: those thirteen hours literally not worth. Like I imagine the
Speaker 2: pain I felt is what you feel if you're out
Speaker 2: of town and your kid has an earache. Yeah, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like a kid is like
Speaker 2: so much more than a dog. So I'm like trying
Speaker 2: to even like like put it like if your kid
Speaker 2: is suffering in any way and you can't be there
Speaker 2: for it, Like I I just don't want that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So all day I'm stressed out. I the second I
Speaker 2: get alone because Emily and I drive to Hartford, the
Speaker 2: second I get alone in my hotel, I like squeeze
Speaker 2: out a couple tears. But I'm also like I don't
Speaker 2: want to cry because that means I've accepted what that's
Speaker 2: what you call that. I literally was just like trying
Speaker 2: to cry because all my friends are like tearing up
Speaker 2: about it. My mom can't stop crying, Chris is crying,
Speaker 2: like everyone seems to be really emotional, and it's like
Speaker 2: she's my dog, and I'm not emotion. It's like because
Speaker 2: I just, of course I was. I was a fucking wreck.
Speaker 2: I think I lost like five fistfuls of hair because
Speaker 2: of the stress of like dress, denial, denial, I was
Speaker 2: I can't read that stage, and I was just and
Speaker 2: I also was like an acceptance. I was like, she's gone, Yes,
Speaker 2: she died. I'm gonna get on with my life. It's
Speaker 2: gonna be hard to get a new dog. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to anytime soon. I already told, like I wrote
Speaker 2: to the girls chat like, don't anyone buy me a
Speaker 2: painting of my dog? Don't get anything with my dog's
Speaker 2: picture on it. I don't want to see it. Like
Speaker 2: I almost was like, but I didn't put that out
Speaker 2: there because I thought that was like I wrote it,
Speaker 2: and then I raised it because I said, oh, that's
Speaker 2: that means that I think says she's definitely gone. But
Speaker 2: if she would have been gone, I would have said,
Speaker 2: do not. I don't want anything with her face on it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be reminded of her, like I
Speaker 2: was already preparing for that. But then so I cried
Speaker 2: a little bit, but I couldn't really get anything out.
Speaker 2: So I called Chris to cry, because when you talk
Speaker 2: to someone about something usually it like comes out yeah,
Speaker 2: and he didn't pick up, so I was just like,
Speaker 2: what the lock? So I just went and worked out.
Speaker 2: I'm like, am I allowed to work out with my
Speaker 2: dog is missing? Like I don't know what else to do.
Speaker 2: And then we went to the show and I had
Speaker 2: the first show, and honestly, when I was on stage,
Speaker 2: I literally forgot about.
Speaker 3: Well, that's the beauty of the stage.
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe that thought.
Speaker 3: All your problems go away for a short time.
Speaker 2: First show in Hartford, had a great time on stage, Yeah,
Speaker 2: walked off stage immediately felt the pain and the stress again.
Speaker 2: But like you know, you keep things light. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of joking about it because I just don't want to
Speaker 2: let it in. And then the second show it's now
Speaker 2: dark in Saint Louis and I'm like, yeah, yeah, like
Speaker 2: when it got six o'clock, it's coyote time, it's the
Speaker 2: witching hour. Yeah yeah, And when it gets dark, I
Speaker 2: was just like, well she in my mind, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: she was on an island for five days before I
Speaker 2: got her. Like she's a survivor. This was less than
Speaker 2: a year ago. She was out in the woods by herself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's not gonna die. She's just gonna work hard.
Speaker 2: She knows what she Yeah, okay, whole friend story. When
Speaker 2: I get back from break and we're back, so then
Speaker 2: go start the second show. And right before the second show,
Speaker 2: I think I was backstage with you guys, like if.
Speaker 5: I said to you, it was like wait, like how
Speaker 5: cool would it be if like we found her mid show,
Speaker 5: like would you want me to run on stage and
Speaker 5: say something?
Speaker 1: I was like ugh, and you're like yeah, wow do
Speaker 1: you responded it so quickly being like yeah. But it
Speaker 1: also felt like you're like that's never going down, like yeah, right,
Speaker 1: please walk out, sae.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really was that five. You're so right because
Speaker 2: when it was like it was night. It was now
Speaker 2: nine o'clock at night and there I was like, it's done,
Speaker 2: Like it's been three hours of darkness. She's just hunkered
Speaker 2: down for the night. I pictured her and like she
Speaker 2: carved out a little like you know, hole in a
Speaker 2: hollow tree or something, and it's just like scared and
Speaker 2: shaking and waiting because she hadn't eaten since the day before.
Speaker 2: It like five o'clock when she eats, you know, Like
Speaker 2: I was like, she's gone for over twenty four hours
Speaker 2: without eating. Hopefully she got into some trash or something
Speaker 2: and found something to eat that day.
Speaker 3: Water even, oh my god, she needs to be checked
Speaker 3: for what.
Speaker 2: I didn't even think about water.
Speaker 3: She should probably take her to the vet to be
Speaker 3: checked for worms because she might have drank.
Speaker 1: By the way, absolutely, when you get away, like she
Speaker 1: was eating trash, she was like drinking up my god.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm doing my podcast and Brian just had a
Speaker 2: really good point that Goldie could have eaten from puddles
Speaker 2: during the day she was gone, and so we should
Speaker 2: have her checked for worms period. Okay, good to know,
Speaker 2: we'll do that this week. Thank you for that. I
Speaker 2: just dictated a text, by the way, So then I'm
Speaker 2: on stage in Hartford and I do a joke about
Speaker 2: Goldie being you you bring it up?
Speaker 1: Bring it up?
Speaker 2: Was she found at that point?
Speaker 1: No, literally, you say it on stage.
Speaker 3: That's not this scratching the asshole Joe.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I was talking about I go, my dog is missing,
Speaker 2: and I said, she's been missing all day. This is
Speaker 2: really helping me, like distract me from it. But the
Speaker 2: only good thing about having a missing dog as opposed
Speaker 2: to like a missing kid, is I know that no
Speaker 2: one's trying to fuck my dog because that is true.
Speaker 2: Like great, It was like some kind of relief that
Speaker 2: you know dog because if you're dog, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: And then Sean shoke was and if someone is, I
Speaker 2: don't want her back.
Speaker 4: Her.
Speaker 2: So I said that joke and everyone kind of laughed,
Speaker 2: but I was like, she really is missing. It sucks
Speaker 2: so much, but you know, thanks for coming out, and
Speaker 2: this actually does distract me. It's gonna be okay, everything
Speaker 2: will be fine. And then a minute later, I just
Speaker 2: hear commotion on the side of the stage and I
Speaker 2: like look over and Emily's like they found her. They
Speaker 2: found her, like so adorable, and I'm like what what?
Speaker 2: And then I like looked at my phone. I was like,
Speaker 2: it was the best feeling I've ever felt in my
Speaker 2: entire life, Like I I will never feel I hope
Speaker 2: I never feel a feeling that good again, because it
Speaker 2: the only way to feel it is to be so discouraged,
Speaker 2: so sad. I know that I will hopefully, I know
Speaker 2: I'll feel the other feeling again. Scary shit happens in life.
Speaker 2: But like to have a loss that you've kind of
Speaker 2: accepted ninety percent in your heart, that it's like happened,
Speaker 2: and to have that relieved is like and that she's
Speaker 2: safe was just I can't even It's like transcends orgasm.
Speaker 2: Like it was the best feeling. Yeah, And then I
Speaker 2: had to like go back to my act, and that
Speaker 2: actually was hard to do it. It's harder to do
Speaker 2: my act on the tail of on the end of
Speaker 2: being that happy than it was when I was scared
Speaker 2: and sad.
Speaker 1: That to me was the most magical part. Is you
Speaker 1: going back to your act because you were so elated,
Speaker 1: Like honestly, there was like that took over. You threw
Speaker 1: your arms up, you were jumping up a down a
Speaker 1: child and right pedophile. It was just so funny. You
Speaker 1: have to go.
Speaker 2: Actually that's where I was. I'm telling that joke a
Speaker 2: minute before. It really got me into my pedophile song.
Speaker 2: That's so funny. Yeah, Like I didn't because that I
Speaker 2: am very uncomfortable like being too like emotional on stage,
Speaker 2: Like I know, like people like that a lot, and
Speaker 2: I just think that people overact when they're trying to
Speaker 2: like celebrate and get attention. I just don't want anyone
Speaker 2: to ever think I'm doing.
Speaker 1: That, I know. That's what it felt. So weird of
Speaker 1: finding out a minute later where I'm like this now
Speaker 1: feels like I said.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what it would have been, Like I
Speaker 2: could see any other comic being like making just such
Speaker 2: a meal of it and like my dog's missing and
Speaker 2: like trying to like get sympathy for it. Like I
Speaker 2: don't want any sympathy for my dog missing. I really didn't.
Speaker 2: It's not it's it could happen to anyone. I'm not
Speaker 2: special because of it. Like yeah, like my friends can
Speaker 2: give me up, my friends can have sympathy, but like
Speaker 2: the audience, like using that as a tactic for the
Speaker 2: audience to be on your side or like also I'd
Speaker 2: be like, fuck, I bought tickets to this show and
Speaker 2: now the performers are all like sad and shit. I
Speaker 2: didn't want to put that on them, so I didn't
Speaker 2: And I didn't like indulge in that.
Speaker 3: I'm not in the net.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like imagine doing the net all about your miss
Speaker 1: like yeah, I got the rest of the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't do that to people, and like, you know,
Speaker 2: it would feel like I was hijacking the show with
Speaker 2: like this is about like it's always about me. But
Speaker 2: at least I have jokes, you know. So then when
Speaker 2: it was really happy, I also was like I don't
Speaker 2: want to be too much in this either, because they
Speaker 2: don't care. They were they only knew about my missing
Speaker 2: dog for thirty seconds. They're not like in this moment
Speaker 2: as much. But then I looked back at the video,
Speaker 2: I was like I should have stayed in a little
Speaker 2: bit more and let let them celebrate, because I like
Speaker 2: instantly was like, oh, like I did a joke immediately
Speaker 2: where I was like, oh, no, I can't get sympathy
Speaker 2: laughs anymore because I was making jokes about how you
Speaker 2: guys have to laugh at that my dog's been you
Speaker 2: don't know my dog show, And so I immediately made
Speaker 2: a joke after I was happy and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's like not watching it. Later on, I was like,
Speaker 2: you should like be a little bit more in the like,
Speaker 2: let people have a moment with you, Like you don't
Speaker 2: need to rob them of that because you think that
Speaker 2: you're being manipulative when you're really not. You're like trying
Speaker 2: not to be manipulative, so then you all are almost Yeah,
Speaker 2: they were also thrilled there. But I just like, I
Speaker 2: just don't know why I project the audience member like
Speaker 2: I because I don't think that way. I would if
Speaker 2: I was watching Kelsey Ballerini and her dog was missing
Speaker 2: and then there was found, I would be so excited
Speaker 2: to be like, let's celebrate this moment and give it
Speaker 2: a beat. But I always just think my audience member
Speaker 2: is like, oh, everything has to be about you. Doesn't it, Oh, Nikki,
Speaker 2: were you said you win? And when well, my mom
Speaker 2: died of cancer last month. Like I just thought of
Speaker 2: the audience member being like you're said about your little
Speaker 2: missing dog for thirteen hours, like my you.
Speaker 3: Know whatever, Like is that like the voice in your head?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think it's the voice. It's just like
Speaker 2: I do just don't want anyone to think that. I
Speaker 2: think I'm kuh and I think that sometimes people use
Speaker 2: like this thing happened to me to be like to
Speaker 2: get attention, and I just don't. I want attention through comedy.
Speaker 2: I don't want attention through things that like my birthday
Speaker 2: sings that I don't I don't have control of them.
Speaker 1: But I think I think I think most in this
Speaker 1: world are they're like, they're very like they are. They're
Speaker 1: so basic And where the cynical people who are like
Speaker 1: they don't want this, but they really do. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: want a happy ending so.
Speaker 2: Much they want to. I need to. Like I learned
Speaker 2: a lesson both as an artist that night, as a like,
Speaker 2: I don't know what I learned as like a human.
Speaker 2: I think I would have probably handled her disappearance the
Speaker 2: same way today if it happened based on what I
Speaker 2: did that day, like everything was I felt right about.
Speaker 2: But I think as an artist, I would have like
Speaker 2: leaned into a little bit more and had it be
Speaker 2: like a more celebratory moment and like like because why not.
Speaker 2: But there would have been in my mind the whole
Speaker 2: time someone being like it's a dog bitch. Yeah, Like
Speaker 2: I just you know, I always thinking about Patrise O'Neil's
Speaker 2: joke about like white women kissing their dogs or like
Speaker 2: there's something like they just get in there, and like
Speaker 2: how it's just like so white and privileged of me
Speaker 2: to be like my little doggie who I rescued is gone,
Speaker 2: and I just like you don't have a right to
Speaker 2: be sad where I sometimes see like like Elizabeth Smart,
Speaker 2: I'd be milking that the rest of my life. If
Speaker 2: I survived something that horrific where I was in the woods,
Speaker 2: stolen from my house and raped every day for like
Speaker 2: months and months in the woods and no one could
Speaker 2: find me, I wouldn't be like I don't really want
Speaker 2: to talk about this. I'd be like, no, you all
Speaker 2: have to listen to my struggle because nothing, nothing you've
Speaker 2: been through.
Speaker 1: Is what I've been through.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can tour with that for like twenty years. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if I go like if my if my parents die someday,
Speaker 2: I might have jokes about it. But unless it's like
Speaker 2: a thing that not everyone eventually has to go through,
Speaker 2: which is losing our parents, which you know, hopefully that's
Speaker 2: the way it happens, and it's not the other way,
Speaker 2: Like I you know, there are people in that audience
Speaker 2: who probably lost their children to like, you know, like
Speaker 2: and how dare I get up there and be like
Speaker 2: I dog like I just why do I do that?
Speaker 1: Because people are But you have to realize that everyone
Speaker 1: in that audience is just there to have a nice
Speaker 1: time and they want to feel happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's true.
Speaker 1: And like, honestly, if you bought tickets.
Speaker 2: To you to make my I make my fans a
Speaker 2: bit and I'm sorry to why not of judgmental bitches,
Speaker 2: But they're not.
Speaker 1: No, they want to see you in all the ways,
Speaker 1: just like if Elizabeth Marth was touring with her One
Speaker 1: Woman show.
Speaker 3: Intents, It's like when a politician posts something online like
Speaker 3: about like there's been a lot of crime and we've
Speaker 3: decreased the crime rate in our in our state this year.
Speaker 3: Very proud of the police officers. And then someone comments
Speaker 3: like you did this whole speech with that once mentioning
Speaker 3: dark four. Yeah, like this has nothing to do with Darfur.
Speaker 1: We talked about darfour for so long, and that I
Speaker 1: haven't heard darfour.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, exactly you but you're so right.
Speaker 2: Everything comes back. If you read any comments, you will
Speaker 2: eventually see someone bringing that up of like, oh so
Speaker 2: you care about this and not this, and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a different thing. That's the person I planted someone.
Speaker 1: That's how I view everyone in the world. But it's like, truly,
Speaker 1: the most miserable person online, right, who is never paid
Speaker 1: to go out into don't.
Speaker 3: Doesn't even have to be a tragedy. It'd be like
Speaker 3: today's International Women's Day. Congratulations to International Women's Day. You
Speaker 3: don't even mention dark four. It's like, this is not
Speaker 3: even a tragedy we're talking about for.
Speaker 2: It's a cute dog name though.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So anyway, she was found, how do they find her?
Speaker 3: Foun she just they find her part where they found her.
Speaker 2: My parents were watching Bill maher my mom is just
Speaker 2: like play poor parents. They were watching They were yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what they do, and that's why she went missing,
Speaker 2: because they care too much about.
Speaker 3: New rule to keep her in the house.
Speaker 2: The new rule I gotta I just sent them today
Speaker 2: like a little like like, uh, blow up kind of
Speaker 2: pillow you put around her head so she can't sneak
Speaker 2: through fences when she goes out, and I put an
Speaker 2: air tag around her neck.
Speaker 1: That's what Goldie deserves, though, like she should be shunned.
Speaker 2: A little bit that has a doughnut print on it.
Speaker 2: For some reason, there was only one on Amazon twenty
Speaker 2: two bucks arriving tomorrow, Mom. But uh no, they were
Speaker 2: just watching Bill Maher tenth nine thirty at night. And
Speaker 2: because I see it like in the video where my
Speaker 2: dad is like talking to Goldie, I see Bill mar
Speaker 2: Froze on TV. But yeah, they were watching watching Bill Maar.
Speaker 2: And then they have like that there's like an outdoor
Speaker 2: door to a deck that's like on a second story
Speaker 2: that you have to like climb up these stairs to
Speaker 2: get the deck. And Goldie came back through the hole
Speaker 2: in the fence from which she came or maybe they
Speaker 2: left the gate open, I don't know what, and she
Speaker 2: came back in and came up through the back door
Speaker 2: where she would have originally gone to go get foo
Speaker 2: food her own.
Speaker 1: She scratched at the door, at the door, Hakeem Jeffreys, Oh.
Speaker 2: My god, that's so funny. I don't know where Bilmar
Speaker 2: is going to be this weekend, what casino, So she
Speaker 2: just scratched at the door like I'm ready to eat.
Speaker 3: She had like a firm Bullie journey or whatever that
Speaker 3: movie is.
Speaker 2: No one, That's what I know is no one caught
Speaker 2: her all day because she would be with us, like
Speaker 2: she just was on her own all day having an adventure.
Speaker 2: I think, you know, she probably chased something once she
Speaker 2: got out of the fence, got too far away, lost
Speaker 2: the scent, and then all day was I think she
Speaker 2: just lost and was like probably went through modes of
Speaker 2: like having fun and sniffing to like being really scared,
Speaker 2: and then eventually just got little whiffs of sense of
Speaker 2: the neighborhood and got back. Because there's no other reason
Speaker 2: she Because I was talking to Anya and she's like
Speaker 2: she just was out all day, and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: she would not have stayed like she was hungry. She
Speaker 2: wanted to get back. There's no way she would have
Speaker 2: been out longer than ten minutes. Ever, she's never gone
Speaker 2: that long. She definitely lost the scent and then she
Speaker 2: picked it up again.
Speaker 3: She's smart.
Speaker 2: She always knows, like a mile away from my parents' house,
Speaker 2: she like knows she could smell the air and like
Speaker 2: knows we're getting close. So she's she's smart and she
Speaker 2: found her way back. But god, damn it, every dog.
Speaker 3: I feel like every dog has one adventure like that
Speaker 3: in their life. Yeah, ever out Jack got Jack was.
Speaker 3: I was in New York on Long Island with Jack
Speaker 3: in the backyard. And my backyard Long Island doesn't have
Speaker 3: a fence. It has a fence around the back, but
Speaker 3: not on the side, so you can easily just walk
Speaker 3: out or walk in. And Jack never runs away, you know, Jack,
Speaker 3: he's just kind of like but he was younger at
Speaker 3: the time, and he caught the scent of a squirrel
Speaker 3: and he started chasing it. And yeah, he wasn't gone
Speaker 3: for that long, but it was a little adventure where
Speaker 3: he just was in the neighborhood probably like an hour
Speaker 3: that's long. Yeah, where he was like he was out
Speaker 3: and I was like it took me like ten minutes
Speaker 3: to realize, like, wait where is he? And then yeah,
Speaker 3: we got on.
Speaker 2: Bikes and then you found it about cause we knew.
Speaker 3: Like he couldn't be that far away based on the
Speaker 3: amount of time he's been missing, but he was pretty far.
Speaker 2: Had stories about this where their dog goes missing and
Speaker 2: it was eight hours, it was nine hours. There was
Speaker 2: one that was like three days. So I was like,
Speaker 2: not completely hopeless. I really was like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: going to be one of those. But yeah, they just
Speaker 2: she came back with a pierced belly button. She got
Speaker 2: a while she's pregnant. Sean sheeplessly asked in the green
Speaker 2: room is a Goldie spade or whatever? And I was
Speaker 2: like yeah. He was like, good, you're right, and they're not.
Speaker 2: They come back if that dog got pregnant. She's too
Speaker 2: widow to be pregnant. All right, So do we go
Speaker 2: to break or do we You can if you want to,
Speaker 2: can we do it? And then we come back. Sure,
Speaker 2: big announcement when we get back. We'll be right back
Speaker 2: with this. All right, I'm back. So Bessie's I have
Speaker 2: an announcement and oh my god.
Speaker 3: What I mean, It's just this is like your dog
Speaker 3: goes missing suddenly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bessie's, you're about to lose your dog, and I
Speaker 2: really hate to do this to you. There's no easy
Speaker 2: way to say this, so I just will say it.
Speaker 2: This is the last episode of the Nicki Glazer podcast,
Speaker 2: and that is a real set. It is true, the
Speaker 2: podcast is ending. I am so sorry to tell you
Speaker 2: this way. I know. I'm just gonna let it sink in.
Speaker 2: I know that there's just no easy way to tell
Speaker 2: people when something is over. I could have told two
Speaker 2: weeks ago, but then you would have been sad then,
Speaker 2: and then you would have just been sad for two weeks.
Speaker 2: I think. I think as a listener, I would be like,
Speaker 2: why did she wait till the last episode to tell us?
Speaker 2: That's really shitty? But I think ultimately the episodes that
Speaker 2: follow an announcement that it's the last episode are not great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's a vibe that would be different. And so I
Speaker 2: and just know that this was the way it had
Speaker 2: to happen, both from what I wanted to do and
Speaker 2: other forces. So this is how it's happening. And I'm
Speaker 2: really sorry if it hurts you to hear that, And
Speaker 2: let's just talk about why. I think you probably already know.
Speaker 2: My life is gotten a lot more insane. It has
Speaker 2: been for a couple of years now, but it is
Speaker 2: just into a different realm at this point of just
Speaker 2: demand and time consuming. And and it's not like I
Speaker 2: don't enjoy this podcast. It's not like I don't look
Speaker 2: forward to it, because all those things are still true.
Speaker 2: I just don't have the energy to uh, I'm I
Speaker 2: want to. I want to have the energy to love
Speaker 2: it every time I do it, and that's starting to
Speaker 2: wane for me. It's not at that point yet, but
Speaker 2: I could see with the like what I've got going
Speaker 2: on the rest of the year, it would have started
Speaker 2: to be taxing. And I don't want to give you
Speaker 2: a product that I'm showing up. And I don't want
Speaker 2: to make you the first show Hartford Crowd where I'm
Speaker 2: getting through some sort of pain to deliver a product.
Speaker 2: I don't want that from my artists, and I don't
Speaker 2: think you would want that either. And I am very
Speaker 2: sad about it, because this obviously is very special to me.
Speaker 2: I've been doing it for four years, and even before that.
Speaker 2: I have fans from the last podcast I Did You Up.
Speaker 2: I have fans for probably even the not safe podcasts
Speaker 2: who have been listening to me podcasts and even before then,
Speaker 2: let's go to the one I did with Anya. I
Speaker 2: forget the name, but even before what was it? Nothing?
Speaker 2: I know nothing, Yes, thank you. And then before that
Speaker 2: you had to be there. Like I've been podcasting for
Speaker 2: over ten years. I've only taken a couple years break
Speaker 2: I think in that time, and I will again at
Speaker 2: some point in the future. But I need to have
Speaker 2: this break, and I will miss it because it is
Speaker 2: you already know this, besties, Like I talk on this
Speaker 2: podcast in a way that I don't talk anywhere else
Speaker 2: in my life. I think you probably see me on
Speaker 2: things here and there. You come to see my stand
Speaker 2: up and you go, oh, that's like the nikky we
Speaker 2: know from the podcast. But it's not a place that
Speaker 2: I can can't be this way and this open and
Speaker 2: this kind of free and loose anywhere else in my life.
Speaker 2: And I've really appreciated having that outlet. It's meant so
Speaker 2: much to me. I will miss it so freaking much.
Speaker 2: You don't even understand. I'm already like thinking of things
Speaker 2: I wanted to tell you this week, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: I can't fit it in because this is the good
Speaker 2: bye episode. There's going to be times where I'm like,
Speaker 2: damn it, I wish I could tell the besties that
Speaker 2: because but the good news is is that because of this,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be forced to inject that kind of
Speaker 2: person I am on this podcast that you love so much,
Speaker 2: because you might not be a fan of my other
Speaker 2: outlets of entertainment. You might be someone who goes I
Speaker 2: like her podcasts, I don't like her stand up, I
Speaker 2: like her on I like her podcasts. I don't like
Speaker 2: her on these shows or the roast that's not her.
Speaker 2: I understand that because this is a different version of
Speaker 2: me that is more authentic, more less less manicured, literally
Speaker 2: and I uh and I understand wanting and missing that,
Speaker 2: and I'll miss it in myself. So what I'm saying
Speaker 2: to you is that because of the void of this,
Speaker 2: you will start to see that vibe of me injected
Speaker 2: into the other things I do because I will have
Speaker 2: to put them out there because I will I will
Speaker 2: miss putting it out here. So that means more tiktoks
Speaker 2: that are more like this kind of vibe, just more
Speaker 2: in my stand up that's this kind of vibe. I
Speaker 2: just know that the Nikki that you know in this
Speaker 2: podcast that you're gonna miss will show up in other places,
Speaker 2: And I understand if you don't want to support those
Speaker 2: places yet, and you're going to be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: if she's not doing the podcast, I don't want to
Speaker 2: support her is totally your prerogative, and you can wait
Speaker 2: till I maybe podcasts to get in the future when
Speaker 2: I have the time and the energy for it. This
Speaker 2: isn't an iHeart thing. I have loved being at iHeart.
Speaker 2: They let me be who I want. They have never
Speaker 2: given me a single note, almost to the detriment of them,
Speaker 2: to be honest with you, they should have. They have
Speaker 2: let me be myself. They have given me everything that
Speaker 2: I've ever wanted for this podcast. They have let They've
Speaker 2: never forced guests on me. They have never forced me
Speaker 2: to do any kind of like marketing or campaign or
Speaker 2: anything like well, a lot of podcasts networks do like
Speaker 2: It's It's. I have been so lucky to be with them.
Speaker 2: Anytime any comedian asked me like, should I do a
Speaker 2: podcast with iHeart, I'm like, one hundred percent yes. I
Speaker 2: don't even talk to them. They only deal with Noah
Speaker 2: and know has has loved her relationship with them, like
Speaker 2: they just they let me be me and that has
Speaker 2: been such a gift. And so I've gotten just to
Speaker 2: have on my friends that I love and you've gotten
Speaker 2: to know through me. Like That's the one thing I
Speaker 2: won't miss about the podcast is people asking me if
Speaker 2: they can be a guest on the show and me
Speaker 2: having to explain that I only have on my friends
Speaker 2: and then they go, but I'm your friend, and I go,
Speaker 2: I think we should. You should reassess that the same thing.
Speaker 2: That's the one thing that's I was trying to think of,
Speaker 2: like what lone I miss about the podcast And that's
Speaker 2: the only thing is people being like, hey, I've got
Speaker 2: to promote this thing. Can I be on the podcast?
Speaker 2: And me having to ask Noah, like how do I
Speaker 2: tell this person, like I only have on my parents
Speaker 2: and my comedian friends, who I like am most comfortable
Speaker 2: around because this is a comedian friend. Like that's the
Speaker 2: only thing I'll I won't miss. It has never felt
Speaker 2: like a burden. It's always been fun and I just
Speaker 2: have to I just have to move on for now
Speaker 2: because I need to focus on the other things that
Speaker 2: are just in such demand in my life. And I
Speaker 2: hope you understand, and I hope you can kind of
Speaker 2: see it through your own life of like things you've
Speaker 2: had to let go that you love because you just
Speaker 2: can't fit it anymore, you know, Like you love going
Speaker 2: to yoga, you love meditating, you love going to therapy,
Speaker 2: Like things that are good for your soul that you like,
Speaker 2: they fall by the wayside when life gets busy. That's
Speaker 2: what's happening right now. Like this podcast is like, uh,
Speaker 2: just it's it's felt like something that has been extra
Speaker 2: that I get to do that is so fun. It's
Speaker 2: never felt like work, but now it unfortunately, I have
Speaker 2: to say goodbye to it, this version of it for
Speaker 2: the foreseeable future. And I'm I'm trying not to be
Speaker 2: tried about it. I'm trying to be matter of fact
Speaker 2: and like tell you the facts. And I'm sorry that
Speaker 2: I'm feeling I'm seemingly emotionless. I don't know if you
Speaker 2: just noticed earlier on the show, but I don't like
Speaker 2: to be emotional about things that are actually very painful.
Speaker 2: So I'm not letting in like the pain that I'm
Speaker 2: feeling around this. But just I promise you I am,
Speaker 2: I am just as sad as you are, and I
Speaker 2: know that I'm in control of this and it's it's
Speaker 2: this is my choice to stop the podcast, but I
Speaker 2: promise you it's gonna make my life a lot, like uh,
Speaker 2: you know, this is work, and it's going to free
Speaker 2: me up to be mentally better for the people in
Speaker 2: my life. And I hope that you want that for me.
Speaker 2: And I promise you you're gonna find another podcast. There is
Speaker 2: another podcast out there for you. I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: be like it's not you, it's me, and like there's
Speaker 2: a better girl out there for you. There's maybe not,
Speaker 2: but there are other people doing podcasts that are just
Speaker 2: as honest, just as loose, just as silly as mine.
Speaker 2: Go to podcasts on Reddit and ask put out a
Speaker 2: post and say here's what I like in a podcast,
Speaker 2: and people will recommend once to you. I can't off
Speaker 2: the top of my head, like you know, I listened
Speaker 2: to last cultur Aesis. I would really steer you towards
Speaker 2: that because it is like a plus banter and chat
Speaker 2: chit chat and like honesty.
Speaker 6: Well, we call our listeners besties because they're are best
Speaker 6: friends and we started this podcast being best friends. And
Speaker 6: one of the things that make us best friends is
Speaker 6: that we support each other. And when you see your
Speaker 6: friend thriving, like you want her or him to just
Speaker 6: get the most out of it.
Speaker 2: And I know that's gonna be the overall vibe. I
Speaker 2: know some people are gonna be upset and really mad
Speaker 2: at me. And that's fine too, because that's this happens
Speaker 2: with best friends. But like I would like to also say,
Speaker 2: that's such a good reminder, Noah, Like, like best friends,
Speaker 2: you can move to a different city. This is like
Speaker 2: a best friend leaving your city. You're still gonna see
Speaker 2: me in other ways, Like we're still gonna keep in touch.
Speaker 2: I'm not disappearing. It's gonna be, but it's not gonna
Speaker 2: be as frequent, right, And so that is and it's
Speaker 2: sad and it sucks. But my husband got a job
Speaker 2: in another town and I have to move. Well, it's
Speaker 2: you have got the job.
Speaker 6: You have such an exciting year ahead and there's so
Speaker 6: many things that are coming down the pike that when
Speaker 6: people see them happen.
Speaker 2: Your girlfriends get jobs themselves and they don't just follow it.
Speaker 2: If I'm talking about your best friend in the late eighties, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's the only reason you would lose her is that
Speaker 2: her husband got a job in marketing and DC so
Speaker 2: but yeah, but here's the other thing, is like you
Speaker 2: just pick back where you left off as soon as
Speaker 2: it becomes possible to be best friends to get me
Speaker 2: so like, I obviously will come back. I would bet
Speaker 2: everything on it that I will re enter the podcast
Speaker 2: game at some point I would love to do with
Speaker 2: iHeart iHeart listen up like the throw your hat in
Speaker 2: the ring when that's time to do that. You know
Speaker 2: I love you. I don't have any plans that I'm
Speaker 2: not thinking about another podcast. I'm not thinking about when
Speaker 2: it is like I am going to be single for
Speaker 2: a while and be someone who doesn't have a podcast.
Speaker 2: It might be a long while, might be I don't know,
Speaker 2: but I when I'm ready to do that again, I
Speaker 2: hope you jump back on board. If you don't, I
Speaker 2: understand if you found someone else. Just know that I
Speaker 2: will really really miss you guys, and that it doesn't
Speaker 2: have to end, Like you could still come to my shows.
Speaker 2: You can still. A girl gave me a note on
Speaker 2: stage this weekend. I wouldn't recommend that because we're about
Speaker 2: to amp up security and so rushing the stage at
Speaker 2: the end of the show might get you in trouble,
Speaker 2: but if you give it to the merch booth, they
Speaker 2: will deliver it to me, right, okay. And then also
Speaker 2: we're going to keep the Nikki guys are Pod Instagram open.
Speaker 2: I'll still post things on that when I think of you,
Speaker 2: guys and remember things, and you can still DM me.
Speaker 2: I mean a lot of you are already slipped in my
Speaker 2: dms you. There's ways to stay in touch, and I
Speaker 2: feel all the love and I hope that our friendship
Speaker 2: doesn't have to end with this. I really just want
Speaker 2: you to look at this like your best friend is
Speaker 2: moving out of the country and that she's still alive.
Speaker 2: But you, guys, your friendship isn't going to be as
Speaker 2: tight and as frequent anymore. But that doesn't mean that
Speaker 2: the connection is still there, right yeah, yeah, And I
Speaker 2: don't want to add that. I'll be fine. Sean and
Speaker 2: Brian are on Nicky's writers. They're still going to be collaborating,
Speaker 2: and then you'll have Emily on the road with you
Speaker 2: forever and they'll be so fun. And this was a
Speaker 2: decision like you, I would understand, like if I was
Speaker 2: a listener and I'm like, Oh, she's gotten new people
Speaker 2: in her life recently, and like maybe this is their
Speaker 2: influence or something, if you know, like if you've been
Speaker 2: listening for the past few like year or whatever, Like
Speaker 2: all the people that have been added to my life, Brian, Sean, Emily, Taylor, Chris,
Speaker 2: like all these people that have become major stays in
Speaker 2: my life, Like they're all like the best people. Ever,
Speaker 2: this isn't a decision that was like inspired by any
Speaker 2: of them or has taken me away from something like
Speaker 2: this is literally coming from me. And I want to
Speaker 2: write movies, I want to make TV shows. I can't
Speaker 2: do that when I have other stuff going on and
Speaker 2: I need I'm clearing space in my life, not just
Speaker 2: with the podcast, but with a lot of other things
Speaker 2: to try other types of things in my life. So Brian,
Speaker 2: me and Sean and Emily are all going to be
Speaker 2: producing stuff to go other Noah is going to obviously
Speaker 2: stay in my life. On girls Chat, we have a friendship.
Speaker 2: Oh you is not.
Speaker 6: Even friendship's number one based on what'd you say. Our
Speaker 6: friendship is number one, Like I totally forgot that. We
Speaker 6: have to like even make that clear to the pain
Speaker 6: of our friendship. Is starting December third.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that like that's the that's the great part is
Speaker 2: like I think when you leave a job, you leave
Speaker 2: behind so many people that you worked with and saw
Speaker 2: every day. But like, my relationship with Noah's not going
Speaker 2: to change really at all. Like the podcast was just
Speaker 2: something we did in addition to our friendship, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So, and Noah's going to be fine.
Speaker 2: She is an incredible producer and you will be able
Speaker 2: to find her work elsewhere, and we'll let you know
Speaker 2: about that when we can, I guess via our socials Noah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: well people know where to find Okay, cool and anything
Speaker 2: you guys would like to add. I'm sorry I just
Speaker 2: monologized for I.
Speaker 3: Can't believe that you did that whole announcement that once
Speaker 3: mentioning darfour yes really upseting. I do want to say
Speaker 3: thank you. I mean I came in midstream on this podcast.
Speaker 3: I wasn't a not safe podcast, so I guess to
Speaker 3: some people I was familiar, but to a great eighty
Speaker 3: five percent of them, I was a stranger. And you know,
Speaker 3: maybe some people hated me at the beginning and then
Speaker 3: came around to those people.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I appreciate being like embraced by the besties.
Speaker 3: I got so much, so many nice messages over the
Speaker 3: last two years from besties saying you know, nice things
Speaker 3: about me or even just like helping me out when
Speaker 3: I'm searching for a mattress or getting my gallbladder removed
Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck I was dealing with. And yeah,
Speaker 3: this is a great, incredible group of fans. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: such nice people. And I was just I'm just so
Speaker 3: happy that.
Speaker 2: We're special, right, Like, there's incredible.
Speaker 3: Group of fans.
Speaker 2: It's different. I want to give you guys credit for that,
Speaker 2: because you're just probably one fan in a and you
Speaker 2: don't understand like the group that you're in, or maybe
Speaker 2: you have met them at shows or in subreddits or whatever.
Speaker 2: But like you're all just like different than all my
Speaker 2: other fans. I know, I've always told you that. But
Speaker 2: you just you know me better than some Like I mean,
Speaker 2: best friends outside this room don't know me as well
Speaker 2: as you guys know me. Like if you listen to
Speaker 2: the podcast, you are a ride or die like I
Speaker 2: will always love you, like I will always love you
Speaker 2: for loving me when I've been at my worst on
Speaker 2: this podcast, when I've come in in bad moods and depressed,
Speaker 2: and I could. I was always allowed to be myself.
Speaker 2: I never feared the backlash from you guys. You don't
Speaker 2: know how freeing that is as an artist. I do
Speaker 2: not take it for granted. Did I get right? Usually?
Speaker 2: I say granted because I tried to do the opposite
Speaker 2: of the what you know, I really don't like. I
Speaker 2: hope you stay with me. I hope you follow me
Speaker 2: wherever I go next. I hope you support the other
Speaker 2: things I do. But it's okay if you don't like I,
Speaker 2: I I'll be okay. But and you have every reason
Speaker 2: to be so upset and so like disappointed, like let
Speaker 2: that in. But like I was thinking about this, and
Speaker 2: I was like, god, I don't want to disappoint them.
Speaker 2: Like it was just like how do I say this?
Speaker 2: Like do I really do this? Like I just don't
Speaker 2: want people to be mad at me, especially not besties
Speaker 2: who have like the best hearts, And why would I
Speaker 2: be giving up on this whole group of this fan
Speaker 2: base that has been so supportive through thick and thin,
Speaker 2: and and it's like I just was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: my favorite things have all ended at some point and
Speaker 2: I've had to get used to Seinfeld being in my
Speaker 2: life in a different way than the show Seinfeld. And
Speaker 2: I've had to watch media in the cars, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Or I've had to friends ended, and that was devastating,
Speaker 2: like deep ended, like things that have mattered succession, like
Speaker 2: you guys have worked through me, like White Lotus this season.
Speaker 2: I am so obsessed with White Lotus in a way
Speaker 2: that I know besties are obsessed with this podcast, like
Speaker 2: I'm wrapped up and it's going to things end. Everything ends,
Speaker 2: And that's not me being you know, being flippant about it.
Speaker 2: But just know that I've been through this before with
Speaker 2: things that I love, and so I'm commiserating with you,
Speaker 2: and I understand and even the way I feel about
Speaker 2: this podcast is different than the way you feel about it,
Speaker 2: and so I understand what a loss this is to
Speaker 2: some of you, and I'm understand also understand that some
Speaker 2: of you are like, this is the first episode I've
Speaker 2: listened to chill out this.
Speaker 3: I would say most people probably have not heard every
Speaker 3: single episode of this podcast or half of all of
Speaker 3: your podcasts, And like a lot of the episodes are evergreen.
Speaker 3: It's not like you have to know, it's not like
Speaker 3: topical stuff about Barack Obama or something. You can go back,
Speaker 3: you can go back and listen. And I think we'd
Speaker 3: be remiss to not mention Andrew here and how important
Speaker 3: pactful he was for the first two and a half
Speaker 3: years of the podcast.
Speaker 2: He'll be here right now. But he moved to New York.
Speaker 3: So yeah, he moved to New York.
Speaker 1: Got to be the only one who's not fine. He's
Speaker 1: also moved.
Speaker 3: He's also moved on to a new chapter in his life.
Speaker 3: I wonder could you call him?
Speaker 1: Could he?
Speaker 2: I would love to. The thing is, yeah, Andrew I
Speaker 2: wanted on here, but he just moved to New York. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the way you guys handled and leaving the show and
Speaker 2: then Brian taking his place, and that really was extraordinary
Speaker 2: because that was a rough part of the show for
Speaker 2: me as well, Like that all came out that was
Speaker 2: not what I wanted, and Brian was what I wanted
Speaker 2: ultimately when there was a space from but Andrew leaving
Speaker 2: that wasn't anything anyone wanted and it was uncomfortable. And
Speaker 2: so we've been through some shit on this show and
Speaker 2: you guys like rolled with it and you accepted me,
Speaker 2: and I just really appreciate you so much, and you've
Speaker 2: allowed You've like seen me through a crazy change in
Speaker 2: my life, and you've loved everyone that I've introduced you to.
Speaker 2: You love my parents, you love my boyfriend, you love
Speaker 2: my friends, you love Taylor, you love my sister, you
Speaker 2: love my brother in law like it's you love my dogs.
Speaker 2: I really appreciate the love. It feels like family. And
Speaker 2: I'm gonna really misconnecting with you all. Twice a week.
Speaker 2: We're gonna get Andrew on the phone, and I just
Speaker 2: I want you to know I love you a lot,
Speaker 2: and it doesn't have to change. You can still comment
Speaker 2: on myself. I'll read it sometimes, Andrew, I'll text them.
Speaker 2: Will you text you up? Thank you so much? Emily.
Speaker 2: Yeah so that. But yeah, I I'm so sorry to
Speaker 2: tell you this way. I but I'm this is a
Speaker 2: Glazer exit. You guys know I don't like goodbyes. I
Speaker 2: worked on it with my therapist. She said that when
Speaker 2: I left her, I had to go to three sessions
Speaker 2: before I left her. But I think that was just
Speaker 2: a way to get me to like, to convince me
Speaker 2: to stay. Yeah, but she was like, you don't like goodbyes,
Speaker 2: you say them very quick and then you leave. I
Speaker 2: don't who does Like why do people like to revel in?
Speaker 2: Like I don't like this? Like I'm already getting like
Speaker 2: emotional talking about too much. It's embarrassing to cry. Oh
Speaker 2: Andrew's calling back. Yes, Andrew, Yo, Hey, it's the last podcast.
Speaker 2: I just told the besties it's the last one. I
Speaker 2: broke the news. We're talking about the show or reminiscing
Speaker 2: about the good times. And uh, and obviously you were
Speaker 2: a huge part of the show and even continue to
Speaker 2: be in the end, and I just wanted to know
Speaker 2: if you had anything to say to the besties.
Speaker 4: What show.
Speaker 2: Las Boy Island three?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was happy to have you on and be
Speaker 4: part of it. You're an up and comer. I saw
Speaker 4: something in you that no.
Speaker 3: One saw, you know, anywhere, and.
Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, this person needs this
Speaker 4: and it is a pleasure. It was honestly the best
Speaker 4: year and eight months of my life.
Speaker 3: I really did enjoy it.
Speaker 4: And uh, I mean, well maybe that was a little far,
Speaker 4: but I really didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the last couple of months of that year and
Speaker 2: eight months wasn't we were we were headed for divorce.
Speaker 2: But now we're good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now we're good. I mean it can only go
Speaker 4: up from those last two months. No, it really was
Speaker 4: incredible and uh the best these were great and we
Speaker 4: really I just remember every once in a while, we'll
Speaker 4: be like, it's Wednesday, folks, you know what that means
Speaker 4: or whatever?
Speaker 1: You know, just like the little terms that we came
Speaker 1: up with.
Speaker 4: Yep, and it felt like a like a piece in
Speaker 4: time that doesn't even feel real because it was like COVID.
Speaker 2: And yeah, you moved to Saint Louis to start the
Speaker 2: podcast with me. We started in the Cayman Islands. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but we started the show when we were filming F
Speaker 2: Boy one and we couldn't even talk about F Boy one.
Speaker 2: We were in the Cayman Islands. Isn't that where we
Speaker 2: started the show. We did the show everywhere. We did
Speaker 2: the show in Europe. We did the show in Kaba,
Speaker 2: we did the show in Uh where were we doing
Speaker 2: F Boy three? Lovers and Liars up in Malibu. We've
Speaker 2: done this. I've done the show from so many different hotels.
Speaker 2: But you moved to Saint Louis to start the podcast,
Speaker 2: and you lived there and met your wife there because
Speaker 2: of this podcast. Wow, I don't want me to take credit,
Speaker 2: but you're welcome.
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean that's I think why I didn't give
Speaker 4: you a speech at my wedding because I thought that's what.
Speaker 2: You would say.
Speaker 4: No, honestly, yeah, it was. It definitely was a life
Speaker 4: shift and a career shift. And I think it, you know,
Speaker 4: being doing four shows a week with you, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it started out as four shows a week, which
Speaker 2: was insane, and I know everyone's like, why don't you
Speaker 2: just whittle it down to one one show a week? Guys, don't,
Speaker 2: let's not play that game. Don't. I've been through that already.
Speaker 2: We're not. Don't play that game with me. But yeah,
Speaker 2: it was just it was just the it was. It
Speaker 2: was so much fun and and it almost feels like
Speaker 2: I'm trying to like remember the best times, and I
Speaker 2: swear to god, it almost feels like when you're trying
Speaker 2: to remember your best times of high school or something
Speaker 2: and it's like I don't even I can't. It's like
Speaker 2: it just was like hanging out, like it was just
Speaker 2: the best hangs. And I always just felt like all
Speaker 2: the besties you were just you're always there like with
Speaker 2: us listening It's like it's a conversation that involves you
Speaker 2: even though you're not there, and so I felt, I
Speaker 2: always feel you, You're always with us, and yeah, it's
Speaker 2: this isn't this isn't that sad? I mean it is.
Speaker 2: I don't want to take away people's feelings. But do
Speaker 2: I have cancer? Okay, God, I'm so glad something. I mean,
Speaker 2: you will eventually, but you all announce, won't we all?
Speaker 4: In between two and three?
Speaker 3: I just don't have healthcare.
Speaker 2: How is New York? By the way, we just.
Speaker 4: Moved into our place and we're in the upper West side.
Speaker 4: By you notice the place called Central Park. It is
Speaker 4: I think I went five times in ten years. It
Speaker 4: really is like the best place on earth.
Speaker 3: And I never what.
Speaker 2: Are you doing there? Maybe if you're not John Lennon.
Speaker 4: John Lennon shot himself and walked by that building the
Speaker 4: other day and I was like, Brenda, there's John Lennon
Speaker 4: got shot right there? And she like, was he a drummer?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: It means a lot to a younger generation.
Speaker 2: Wait, Emily, our generation, what did John Lennon do in
Speaker 2: the Beatles? I didn't even know that that Wait? What what?
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is John Lennon.
Speaker 7: John legend is my god. Wow, I'm not you know,
Speaker 7: I'm never one to be like Emily come on this Weekend.
Speaker 2: But it was that was with what was that way?
Speaker 2: It was a comedian that I definitely George Carlin. Why
Speaker 2: would I know who that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, if you're not in comedy. I don't think
Speaker 3: my wife knew George Carlin.
Speaker 2: No, I think that was I don't think. I just go,
Speaker 2: you need to get to like I understood, But John Lennon,
Speaker 2: I don't understand why you don't know there was what
Speaker 2: it was Marie Antoinette was one where you didn't know
Speaker 2: And I go, that's I know because I grew up.
Speaker 1: With Generation.
Speaker 2: Right, that's Henry's what I think. So okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: I mean like I don't know.
Speaker 3: About Cake and I remember when Napoleon was coming to
Speaker 3: power and it was really impactful.
Speaker 2: Duh what I don't know?
Speaker 3: Okay, Uh, Jagger and the Dagger.
Speaker 2: Has a song about him.
Speaker 1: I just want to like Jack, I just want to say,
Speaker 1: it is truly wild that you don't know who John
Speaker 1: Lennon is. But like right before we started going, like
Speaker 1: we got to introduce you to Tate McCrae. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Right before the podcast, Emily was like, don't worry, Shot,
Speaker 2: We're going to do a Tate Tate McCrae deep dive
Speaker 2: very soon. That's always says to me, but I can
Speaker 2: never say to you that's true.
Speaker 1: I know a beetle, Yeah, she might be Bolkswagen Beetle.
Speaker 3: I'm open to.
Speaker 2: Hearing about it, saying for someone who doesn't know what
Speaker 2: a beatle is. We were almost thinking of it as
Speaker 2: like a like the way they even be, like she's
Speaker 2: like a legend. Yeah, you know, like she could be
Speaker 2: a Beatle. No, she can't. She literally can't. I'm in
Speaker 2: the sixties.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Paul McCartney, Yeah, okay, what was he? You play the guitar? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but he was in the Beatles. Okay, do you know
Speaker 2: the Beatles?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Can you name a song? There's a song like love
Speaker 2: in it?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think most of yea or every song from that decade.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Vega, Yeah, there's a show called Love in Vegas. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They was running around the word love like they were. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they really love bombing the nineteen sixties.
Speaker 2: They really were. It was all they love, love, love.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know who a lot of these people are yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, well Andrew, we're gonna say goodbye, but thank
Speaker 2: you so much for.
Speaker 1: This. Here we go again.
Speaker 2: You know that I have the power to hang up party, right,
Speaker 2: So you want to say you're goodbye? Yeah? I do?
Speaker 6: You want to get?
Speaker 2: The want to get what are you going to do?
Speaker 2: And what are you going to do? What are you
Speaker 2: going to do?
Speaker 4: Legends?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: So what are you going to do? What are you
Speaker 2: doing in Central Park today?
Speaker 4: I already walked around the Jacqueline Kennedy Reservoir lake and
Speaker 4: I can call it a lake. People call you dumb.
Speaker 2: I learned that you're going to.
Speaker 4: Probably get said by some pigeons and uh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's starting get all the time.
Speaker 4: I go to the John Legend Museum, walk around thing
Speaker 4: about love. Okay, well, thanks for having me on, Thanks
Speaker 4: for thinking of me.
Speaker 2: Always love you buddy, all right, love you Andrew?
Speaker 1: Bye?
Speaker 2: Okay. So final thought, it's over.
Speaker 3: This is truly the final thought.
Speaker 2: This is truly final. The final thought is life will
Speaker 2: go on. Nothing really is going to change, except you're
Speaker 2: not going to have this like, uh bi weekly? Is
Speaker 2: it bi weekly?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: I think that's what I say. It's every two weeks.
Speaker 2: I think that's what people like.
Speaker 1: I always said bi weekly for every two weeks, but
Speaker 1: I think bi weekly.
Speaker 2: Means twice a week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, twice a week, Okay, bi weekly.
Speaker 2: This bi weekly podcast that they feed you knowledge that, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're not the only thing that's going to change is
Speaker 2: that you're not going to have this like access to me.
Speaker 2: But just know that I'm all right and that you
Speaker 2: actually we have a friendship that transcends a podcast listener relationship,
Speaker 2: especially if you've listened more that I would say five episodes.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're in with me. I you will always
Speaker 2: if you ever see me, I'm saying, like thirty years
Speaker 2: from now, when I'm old and gray and I am
Speaker 2: you see me in an airport getting wheeled down the
Speaker 2: runway by a nice man and I'm muttering to myself
Speaker 2: and you can say, hey, I'm a bestie, and I'll
Speaker 2: spit at you because I'm having cognitive decline. But just know,
Speaker 2: somewhere deep inside me, in my subconscious I feel a
Speaker 2: deep affection for you. Know I'm serious, like saying you're
Speaker 2: a bestie to me in public if you ever see me,
Speaker 2: and like you know, at a show like sharing a
Speaker 2: certain way. They're like, I can tell it when there's
Speaker 2: a bestie. But if you ever run into me in public,
Speaker 2: just know that you you could always ask for a picture.
Speaker 2: You can always have a conversation with me. You have
Speaker 2: like you have a VIP access to my heart and
Speaker 2: my time that other fans do not have. U forever,
Speaker 2: you have that as a bestie. All you have to
Speaker 2: do is have listened to five or more episodes of
Speaker 2: the show and heard this statement. But it's true, like
Speaker 2: the rest of my life, no matter how famous I
Speaker 2: get and I have bodyguards or something crazy, like if
Speaker 2: there's a bestie, I will say, let her in, let's
Speaker 2: get over get over here. Shoot me you can now,
Speaker 2: please don't hurt me. But yeah, you guys are like
Speaker 2: my friends. There's not like a wall up that I
Speaker 2: sometimes have to put up for other fans. And I
Speaker 2: don't mean to say that that means you can you know,
Speaker 2: let's just be cool about it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: But like, just know that you guys are the real ones.
Speaker 2: I know you're the real ones. It will never change.
Speaker 2: That will never change, and that someday we will have
Speaker 2: this relationship again. In another way because podcasting and being
Speaker 2: this intimate with people and talking long form is what
Speaker 2: I'm about. I just have to take a break from
Speaker 2: it right now, and I don't know how long that
Speaker 2: break will be. It might be years and years and years.
Speaker 2: Just like, buckle up, though, and just know that I'll
Speaker 2: let you back in and when I am ready to.
Speaker 2: And I love you and I'm sorry that I ended
Speaker 2: it so abruptly, but I think in the end that
Speaker 2: was actually what was for the best, because I don't
Speaker 2: like to wallow in goodbyes and maybe that's something I
Speaker 2: need to work on. And you can write me and
Speaker 2: tell me that it is, but that is I'll work
Speaker 2: on it. You know, I'm an ever changing person. I
Speaker 2: don't do things perfectly, and that's what this podcast has
Speaker 2: been about more than anything, is that I have been
Speaker 2: a complete mess and you guys have still accepted me.
Speaker 2: And I don't say things that are right. I am
Speaker 2: not always eloquent. I am say dumb things that I
Speaker 2: you know, in retrospect, I'm like, I shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 2: I should take that out. I left it in And
Speaker 2: this is another one of those. So if I got
Speaker 2: if I fucked up this goodbye, just know it's like
Speaker 2: in line with everything else this podcast was about, and
Speaker 2: you should expect no less than me from me. I
Speaker 2: want to just give some thank yous to iHeart before
Speaker 2: we leave and say goodbye forever and not forever, just
Speaker 2: in this format. I want to thank Connell Byrne, Will Pearson,
Speaker 2: Carrie Lieberman at iHeart Podcast, obviously, Will Ferrell, and the
Speaker 2: Big Money Players Jack O'Brien, Thank you so much, Jack
Speaker 2: and all the comedy team at Big Money Players. You
Speaker 2: guys have been so supportive. It's been awesome being a
Speaker 2: part of that select group of amazing comedy podcasts. Those
Speaker 2: that's where you should go to supplement if you haven't already.
Speaker 2: Thank you Nathan o'towski for having us at the super Bowl,
Speaker 2: for all the marketing duties that you've done to make
Speaker 2: this podcast work.
Speaker 3: And thank you.
Speaker 2: Thank you Nathan, ad sales team, Christine Jordan, thank you
Speaker 2: so much for keeping this podcast going. And and to
Speaker 2: all the you know companies throughout the years who I've
Speaker 2: done ads for, thank you for being so cool and
Speaker 2: never giving me notes about how I do my ads.
Speaker 2: That's been really helpful. And to everyone on the video
Speaker 2: team that has made this accessible on YouTube. Mark Canton
Speaker 2: shout out, Mark, thank you for all the zooms that
Speaker 2: you stayed on with us to like set up cameras
Speaker 2: and shots and always so kind. Kelly patronis and lean
Speaker 2: and Loaf is the that's not person's name, that's a
Speaker 2: company that the video. I hope Leanne Loaf was a
Speaker 2: person's name, Lean and Loaf, And then for audio purposes
Speaker 2: to make this sound so good and to fix all
Speaker 2: of our problems that we may have had with like
Speaker 2: air conditioners running and stuff like that. I want to
Speaker 2: thank Chris the check. Chris is the check. I think
Speaker 2: that's how you say it right. And then obviously Noah,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for all of the work that
Speaker 2: you've done in this podcast behind the scenes. It's an
Speaker 2: immense amount of work producing a podcast. You've always made
Speaker 2: it seem you've never like she's the best producer that
Speaker 2: a person could ever dream of, like always never. You know,
Speaker 2: so many times I would have ads that like I
Speaker 2: should have given herder the day before, and she gets
Speaker 2: me extensions. She's never once made me feel bad about anything.
Speaker 2: She's never once communicated that on her end things are
Speaker 2: really stressful, and like she is just such a pro
Speaker 2: has always been so supportive of everything I do, always
Speaker 2: looking out for me of like, hey, maybe let's talk
Speaker 2: about this, maybe let's not talk about this, but always
Speaker 2: so gentle in presenting that She's been an amazing friend,
Speaker 2: an amazing part of the show. Let's not even forget that.
Speaker 2: And so I just want to thank you so much
Speaker 2: for all the work that you've put into it that
Speaker 2: I don't even know about, like I know it's like,
Speaker 2: and through your pregnancy, through being a new mom, through
Speaker 2: moving to Tucson, through your marriage like we've Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: so many life changes.
Speaker 6: But I can only do my job as good as
Speaker 6: I do because I work with such a wonderful person.
Speaker 6: And I want to thank Brian also for being so
Speaker 6: helpful in all these situations. Getting to meet Sean and Emily,
Speaker 6: and it was awesome working with Andrew and him setting
Speaker 6: me files and stuff the best he can. I just
Speaker 6: had the best time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much, Brian for coming into the
Speaker 2: show and like at a time where you know, like
Speaker 2: people are like what's going on and just riding with
Speaker 2: it and being such a fun like person to talk at.
Speaker 2: And you never made it about you, even though a
Speaker 2: lot of comedians would like, it's very humble with being
Speaker 2: a amazing co host in a way that you know,
Speaker 2: you've never made me feel bad about talking over you
Speaker 2: when I know I have a bazillion times and I've
Speaker 2: felt bad on my own, but you just like have
Speaker 2: always been so supportive, such a good friend, so funny.
Speaker 2: Besties love you. Everyone's falling in love with you. So
Speaker 2: thank you so much for Yeah.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for having me. It was so
Speaker 3: cool that to hang out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, really was.
Speaker 3: And what an incredible time capsule in your life these
Speaker 3: last two years to have like bi weekly recaps of
Speaker 3: these moments, Like I do think this is something you'll
Speaker 3: look back on for a long time. To be able
Speaker 3: to just go back and listen to the day after
Speaker 3: the roast in like a comfortable setting, sound like you're
Speaker 3: on Good Morning America. You're here, like talking to your friends,
Speaker 3: to go back and listen to the day after the globes.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, these are going to be.
Speaker 3: Things that you look back on, like in thirty years
Speaker 3: when you're when you're dement and you're spitting on.
Speaker 2: I mean truly, like I was thinking about I went
Speaker 2: through like like breakups, getting falling in love, like having
Speaker 2: immense out of depression, immense bouts of elation, COVID, Like,
Speaker 2: there were so many things I went through on this podcast,
Speaker 2: and I whether or not I was talking explicitly about them,
Speaker 2: like I was able to like emote and get it
Speaker 2: out on the show and I felt accepted. And even
Speaker 2: when the podcast wasn't at its best because I wasn't
Speaker 2: at my best, you guys like hung in there, and
Speaker 2: maybe we lost a few of you, but like I like,
Speaker 2: I just always felt like you can come and go
Speaker 2: and like they accept me and it's just your artists
Speaker 2: are It's really rare that an artist gets this kind
Speaker 2: of platform. And that's what makes podcasting so special to
Speaker 2: me at least. Does it just feel so intimate. It's
Speaker 2: such a good friendship, and it's it's just different than
Speaker 2: like fan uh artist connection. It's it's it's it's better
Speaker 2: than that.
Speaker 3: And and yeah, final shout out is to to Anya,
Speaker 3: who was also here for so much of this and
Speaker 3: also made the theme song to the podcast.
Speaker 2: Anya's theme song is such an earworm in the like
Speaker 2: the best sense of that word. People love it so much,
Speaker 2: keep singing it and Anya, Yeah, thank thank you to
Speaker 2: Anya for being on so many episodes of the show
Speaker 2: and being such an integral part to just the fabric
Speaker 2: of this show through the years, and just is someone
Speaker 2: I can always like talk about in the besties just
Speaker 2: know instantly who I'm talking about. Girls chat. Shout out
Speaker 2: to all of them, they all listen. They've always been supportive.
Speaker 2: And and Sean, thank you for joining the show in
Speaker 2: these last few months and being such a regular and
Speaker 2: fun addition, like people just fallen in love with you
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: It's an honor.
Speaker 2: It's an honor.
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm sorry I'm not gay.
Speaker 2: People really disappointed you're not gay. And then thank you
Speaker 2: to Emily for running my shit. And also Emily is
Speaker 2: a bestie, so it was important for me to talk
Speaker 2: to her a lot these past couple of weeks when
Speaker 2: we were planning this last episode. I know it seems
Speaker 2: like it's unplanned, but this was, like I did give
Speaker 2: it a lot of thought of what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2: Whether I hit all those points, I don't know. But Emily,
Speaker 2: you know, I really talked to her about like what
Speaker 2: the besties want, and I'm grateful that it was in
Speaker 2: line with what I thought that they would want. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so you in my inner circle, you have someone representing
Speaker 2: you besties in Emily. Who's going to keep me on
Speaker 2: before yes, and he is important, yes, and who is
Speaker 2: going to keep me that same person that you know
Speaker 2: in love and is you know, is turned into my
Speaker 2: best friend who is with me all the time. And
Speaker 2: I'm in good hands, uh with a bestie. I literally
Speaker 2: have a bestie in working for me now through this podcast.
Speaker 2: Is how she even ended up working for me, right, Like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean that's how I first knew if you
Speaker 5: was from this podcast. Amazing and here we are and
Speaker 5: I'm only gen ZM because of this like at the shows, like.
Speaker 2: And like that's pretty great. By hello, So thank you
Speaker 2: guys so much. This is just goodbye for now and
Speaker 2: I love you so much. Jackpots sports sport, don't be
Speaker 2: fine and you've been touched and wait for me because
Speaker 2: I'll be back in some way. And I love you
Speaker 2: so much. Bye, guys. The Nicki Glazer podcast is a
Speaker 2: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts,
Speaker 2: created and hosted by me Nicki Glaser, co hosted by
Speaker 2: Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and
Speaker 2: noah Avior, edited, engineered by Lean and Loaf video production
Speaker 2: Mark Canton and music by on Your Marina. You can
Speaker 2: now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube,
Speaker 2: Follow at Nicky glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel.
Speaker 2: The Nicki Glazer podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's
Speaker 2: Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by
Speaker 2: me Nicki Glaser, co hosted by Brian Frangie Executive produced
Speaker 2: by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and noah Avior edited. It
Speaker 2: engineered by Lean and Loaf Video Production, Mark Canton and
Speaker 2: music by on Your Marina. You can now watch full
Speaker 2: episodes of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube, Follow at
Speaker 2: Nicky glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel.
Speaker 1: No