WEBVTT - Dancing with Intimacy

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<v Speaker 1>Find Out and podcast. So Janna just wants to show

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<v Speaker 1>off and she was like, he got her topic. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, do we ever? I mean, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we normally do hey, since we're our relationship podcast. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>we just would like I just want to celebrate us

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<v Speaker 1>for a second because we had an awesome therapy session

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<v Speaker 1>we did. It was so good the other day and

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<v Speaker 1>I was it was really funny is I was walking

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<v Speaker 1>with Linda and she was like, what are you doing today?

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<v Speaker 1>And I said, couples therapy today. And I just feel

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<v Speaker 1>like Mike is loaded up and ready, Like I just

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<v Speaker 1>feel like he is ready to just lay it down

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<v Speaker 1>because there have been a few things that you have

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<v Speaker 1>had brought up. And I was just like, oh, he

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<v Speaker 1>is just gunning for me this one. And it was

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<v Speaker 1>such a good episode. I was so well, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I lived my life in episode. No. I just thought

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<v Speaker 1>it was such a great session. Yeah, it was. And

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<v Speaker 1>in all honesty leading up, like earlier in the day,

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<v Speaker 1>I I felt a little like that. I felt a

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<v Speaker 1>little locked and loaded. And that's why when we when

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<v Speaker 1>we pulled into our theordy we went to our therapists house,

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<v Speaker 1>and when we pulled in, you know, I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>really let my guard down, and I was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>just so you know, because I kind of felt that

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<v Speaker 1>tension too from you and I was locked and loaded

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<v Speaker 1>no that you were thinking. I could just tell by

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<v Speaker 1>your energy that you're just dreading this session. You're like, man,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not going to be good. Well what were

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<v Speaker 1>you locked and loaded about? Because you didn't really come

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<v Speaker 1>in guns blazing? Well no, I think as the day

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<v Speaker 1>went on leading up to it, I was like, I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, why do I want to go in

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<v Speaker 1>this way? I was like, nothing's good, gonna is gonna

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<v Speaker 1>come out. I'm not gonna feel better afterwards, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I was just trying something different and it's like, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, I'm just gonna go in. And that's why

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<v Speaker 1>I told you in the car when pulled up. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, just so you know, I'm going to going

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<v Speaker 1>in with the mindset the session to learn something about

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<v Speaker 1>you and to be open, which I so appreciate. And

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<v Speaker 1>I felt like I then reciprocated that with therapy. But

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<v Speaker 1>I'm curious was something that maybe that you wanted that

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<v Speaker 1>you were locked and loaded with that you didn't bring

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<v Speaker 1>that You're like still kind of stewing, because I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's bad too. Know. That's the thing. I just I

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to have a different method Uh methodology is

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<v Speaker 1>that right? Eastern said a word. That's a word. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if it's the word I try to I

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<v Speaker 1>try to go about it in a different way and

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<v Speaker 1>have a different strategy. So did you still express what

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<v Speaker 1>you wanted to do, but just from a healthy way

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<v Speaker 1>and not Yeah, not trying to prove you wrong, improve myself, right,

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<v Speaker 1>it's just can you share what your therapist said about

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<v Speaker 1>the two different ways of doing things? And I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's kind of cool for people that listen. Yeah. So

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Janna and I have talked about it's a

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<v Speaker 1>lot on on here, just kind of how we process

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<v Speaker 1>things differently, and there's you know, I'll have feelings that

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<v Speaker 1>come up. Is I'll give you all an example. Say

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<v Speaker 1>we'd planned on going to a splash pad with the

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<v Speaker 1>kids and I made up and I started to think, Man,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I'd rather not go. I'd rather Janna

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<v Speaker 1>just take the kids because there's some things I want

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<v Speaker 1>to take care of her at the house that had

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<v Speaker 1>just been lingering. I just want to get them done.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I like future tripped and made up in

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<v Speaker 1>my head that if I asked Janna that, hey, I

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<v Speaker 1>know we talked about going to splash Pad, but can

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<v Speaker 1>you just take them so I can stay back and

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<v Speaker 1>do X Y and Z, I made up that her

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<v Speaker 1>response would be like, uh um yeah, yeah, sure, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll take the okay, yeah uh huh sure yeah I'll

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<v Speaker 1>take the kids, and which would be totally fine. But

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<v Speaker 1>for me, my expectation of her would be just say sure,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's how I respond typically, and so my expectation

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<v Speaker 1>is so high where it's just like love languages, right,

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<v Speaker 1>how you receive love. You'll love somebody else that way

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<v Speaker 1>until you learn their love language because you're like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>this is how I receive love, so I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>love them that way. So it's like making somebody else's uh,

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<v Speaker 1>making my truth somebody else's truth. So even though I

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<v Speaker 1>would respond yeah, sure, no problem, she doesn't and that's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And so when she was if she responds that way,

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<v Speaker 1>like the Jana way, I would take that personally and like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>clearly it's an issue, because if it wasn't an issue,

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<v Speaker 1>she would just say yeah, sure, no big deal, go

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<v Speaker 1>for it. So I brought this up with my individual

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<v Speaker 1>therapist and he hit it on the head. He sees

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<v Speaker 1>right through me. I mean it just right through me

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<v Speaker 1>every time. And he talked about two different ways of

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<v Speaker 1>the two different ways that Janna and I process, and

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<v Speaker 1>he said, Mike, you're a delayed internal processor, for example,

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<v Speaker 1>which that means I'll say, hey, Mike, do you an apple?

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<v Speaker 1>And he'll go, um, do I? And I'm like, do

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<v Speaker 1>you want to apple? It's like, it's so true and

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<v Speaker 1>so and then he usually just forget it. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>bringing you one for or I'll just bring you one.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's funny. I use that example with Mark and

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<v Speaker 1>so he said it just like that, and then he

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<v Speaker 1>was like, now Janna, he's like, she's like an immediate

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<v Speaker 1>external processor. So if you ask to Janna, hey, Janna,

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<v Speaker 1>do you in an apple? She goes, um, do I

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<v Speaker 1>want an apple? Well, there's only two apples left. If

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<v Speaker 1>I eat one now, there's only one left for the

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<v Speaker 1>As we have two kids, I don't know if that's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be enough of Jolly because she eats a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more now and an apple sounds good, but we're not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna go to the story later. So but you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we do have some bananas and they're going bad. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I should have a banana, but but we have those

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<v Speaker 1>mangoes in the first that you just cut some. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll just have a banana. And that's how Janna processes.

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<v Speaker 1>She she mind mouth, she talks it out. She she

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<v Speaker 1>she speaks what's going on in her head, how her

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<v Speaker 1>head is processing. I don't. It's all internal. So it

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<v Speaker 1>was just really an enlightening way for me to realize,

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<v Speaker 1>like her response isn't about me. It's not about what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm asking being inconvenient to her. It's her just processing

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<v Speaker 1>the change of what we had planned, which is okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I just need to be able to sit

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<v Speaker 1>in that and I'll be codependent around it and be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to stay home and knock these few things

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<v Speaker 1>that you get me taking the kids. Bade her process

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<v Speaker 1>that where she processes it, and then that's that. I

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<v Speaker 1>do have a question, though, because I would because I

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<v Speaker 1>am an external one. Am I an external immediate I'm

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<v Speaker 1>an immediate external processoral processor because I'm immediate sound like

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<v Speaker 1>a freaking computer because I'm immediate external processor. And I

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<v Speaker 1>say uh yeah, like and like yeah, yeah, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>can take him. Is it okay for me then to go?

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<v Speaker 1>What if I really wanted you to go to the

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<v Speaker 1>splash pad with us, like it's the first time, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I really want to spend time with the family. It

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<v Speaker 1>would mean a lot to me. I'd understand. I just

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<v Speaker 1>want you to know I'm a little bummed or like

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<v Speaker 1>do you like can you you know, like what's how

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<v Speaker 1>do you how do you play that? Then? Yeah for me,

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<v Speaker 1>you know that because I think it's okay to be

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<v Speaker 1>like like bummed, and also like I really need you

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<v Speaker 1>to like I really want us as a family to go. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's one of those where you know, like Bill was

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<v Speaker 1>talking about the other day in a couple of session,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like then we talk it out on what is

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<v Speaker 1>more important in that moment. It's like, you know, you

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<v Speaker 1>could say I still want you to get what you

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<v Speaker 1>need right and like I hear like I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>fix some faucets in our house and replace this one

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<v Speaker 1>in the bar, and like it's not stuff that's needs

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<v Speaker 1>to be done right now, but it's the stuff that's

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<v Speaker 1>been lingering that I want to get done. And so

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<v Speaker 1>you know you could have if you just said, I

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<v Speaker 1>would have said, like these other things I want to do, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I hear you, I know you want to get this done.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to get them done to But I was

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<v Speaker 1>really looking forward to going to the splash Pad as

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<v Speaker 1>a family. Would it be cool if like you still

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<v Speaker 1>came and we've you know, carved out of time for

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<v Speaker 1>you to do it later, that would be okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't get bummed about that as long as I

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<v Speaker 1>feel hurt. As long as you're like I hear you,

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<v Speaker 1>I totally understand you want to get that done. I

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<v Speaker 1>get it. Instead of like going into a guilt trip

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<v Speaker 1>of well, I really wanted to spend time as a family,

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<v Speaker 1>but yeah, sure, if that's whatever, Yeah, then I would

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<v Speaker 1>be like ever very was about did so what have

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<v Speaker 1>I done wrong lately? You haven't done nothing wrong? Yo, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have anything nothing. We just had couples, we processed.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that was like the big stuff though, what

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<v Speaker 1>about the littles? No, I have no complaints. Great? Um, well,

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<v Speaker 1>super excited for today because we have Cheryl Burke coming

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<v Speaker 1>on the show, which, by the way, she's married to

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<v Speaker 1>Matthew Lawrence. Remember the Lawrence Brothers, Like nineties heart throbs

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<v Speaker 1>I remember being in the audience last year UM Dancing

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<v Speaker 1>with the Stars and I saw Cheryl but I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>like supery, but well it's like Cheryl and are like

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<v Speaker 1>we're like homies. Like Cheryl, like you know, we did

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<v Speaker 1>the show together. And when I saw Matthew, I was

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<v Speaker 1>just like, it's just the nineties star, you know. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like when I ran into J T. T at coffee being,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like tongue tied. I was like, it's gt G.

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<v Speaker 1>I had teen Bop, tiger Bop, big bop whatever bopa

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<v Speaker 1>boppers like and them all over my wall and Matthew

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<v Speaker 1>Lawrence is one of them. Do I ask, Like I've

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<v Speaker 1>never told Cheryl I had, like you know, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure like, hello, like what nineties girl didn't have her

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<v Speaker 1>husband on their wall? Is that? Do people still do that?

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, like if posters question, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like we wish on here. So I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>wonder if his daughter like had because I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, did this do they do? They do they

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<v Speaker 1>even still have teeny bopper whatever it's called big Bop.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just I'm curious on the whole.

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<v Speaker 1>On the whole poster thing. Do people do kids? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>they gotta still have teen bop. But I wonder who

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<v Speaker 1>the big bopper is right now there's no J. D. D.

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<v Speaker 1>And Matthew Lawrence who was there? Geez, he's a No,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think he's I don't think we want him

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<v Speaker 1>on our walls. I think he's a great artist, but

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't want Jolie like I would want her to

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<v Speaker 1>go a little younger. I was just saying that, like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, great example. You know what I put on

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<v Speaker 1>my wall right now? Deacon Reese Witherspoon's son who does

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<v Speaker 1>the that new song it's so good. How old is

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<v Speaker 1>he's young? I think he's year old boy on our wall. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying if, like, if I was a kid

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<v Speaker 1>in that age, he'd be my new because he's so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Look at Deacon Reese Philip and he's got that new look.

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<v Speaker 1>He's got that new song long Run. It's so good.

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<v Speaker 1>But I could see him like on Jolie's wall. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>he looks like a little doesn't he, Dad Ryan Felippe Um, Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>what No, I'll tell you the side story later. They

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<v Speaker 1>have to they've got like her look alike and then Deacon.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyways, I'm just saying, like I would, he kind

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<v Speaker 1>of looks like Deacon to me is a Devin Sawa.

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<v Speaker 1>So he was like my third runner up on my wall,

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<v Speaker 1>Devin sa from Casper. When he walks down the stairs

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<v Speaker 1>and like the song comes on, it's Alga, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>your heart. The only person that knows his name, No, Casper,

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<v Speaker 1>everyone else. I said that boy from Casper. Yeah. Anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to tell Cheryl any of this. Maybe

0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:27.240
<v Speaker 1>I will ask her what posters did you have on

0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.840
<v Speaker 1>your wall? J? T T, Devin Sawa, and Matthew Lawrence.

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.959
<v Speaker 1>But it was mostly j T. T. But it was

0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:40.000
<v Speaker 1>from the teenybop magazines? Was Devin Sawa in anything else? Yeah?

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.199
<v Speaker 1>He had a few other, like smaller things. I mean,

0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.520
<v Speaker 1>like you know in the nineties. I mean, I feel

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.400
<v Speaker 1>like Easton's very excited topping. He was in Final Destination.

0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 1>He's the guy from Final Destination. Did you see those movies?

0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.040
<v Speaker 1>You're You're right, he is the guy. I say, I

0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:58.480
<v Speaker 1>never saw any of those good They're they're a classic. Yeah. See,

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:02.240
<v Speaker 1>I had like, did you have posters? I mean listen.

0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying not dad talking about your college years, which

0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.680
<v Speaker 1>the pin up girls? What I never had that in college?

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Really don't guys? Do you think like football players I had?

0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.120
<v Speaker 1>I remember I had when I was a kid, Like

0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Cathy Ireland was like the one woman I had up.

0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I had like a Dodge Viper car poster. I had

0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:29.319
<v Speaker 1>Michael Jordan's, Oh she's pretty, but look she's old. Well

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:33.600
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't old and ninety three, but I mean like, okay,

0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:37.559
<v Speaker 1>so okay, fifty seven years old. Yeah, well at the

0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:44.720
<v Speaker 1>time she was like thirty. Wow, so I love thirteen

0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.920
<v Speaker 1>year olds. Thirty year old? Who else did you have

0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.200
<v Speaker 1>on there? I think she's the only woman I ever

0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>had on a wall. Yeah, random stuff that is so funny.

0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm like she was she a model, like a swimsuit

0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:01.959
<v Speaker 1>It was like a s I swim suit poster or

0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:05.160
<v Speaker 1>something Eastern. Who did you have on your wall? He's like,

0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:11.079
<v Speaker 1>I had blank Winnity two on my wall, And you

0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.000
<v Speaker 1>know what's funny, I had um. I had a post

0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.439
<v Speaker 1>I got out of Maxim magazine on my wall of

0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 1>Brooke Burke, who now has a show on I Heart Radio.

0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.040
<v Speaker 1>And it's been a very big moment for me. But um,

0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I had Brooke Burke on my wall, and uh, I

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 1>had that there was a cover of like rolling stone

0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 1>of Jessica Jessica Simpson with like a vacuum cleaner. I

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know if you guys remember that there was that post.

0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 1>I had that that went up too, But was that

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:43.440
<v Speaker 1>when she was didn't wait, Daniel, I need you on here?

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Like have you did you have anybody? Oh gosh, mine's

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of embarrassing. Um I love him now that I

0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.360
<v Speaker 1>like know who know him better? But I had Lance

0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:57.840
<v Speaker 1>Bass on my wall like he was my guy. I

0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.080
<v Speaker 1>had the doll, like the insinct doll. I had like

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:08.200
<v Speaker 1>every poster like I loved Lance Fast so much and

0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.280
<v Speaker 1>it's like the nicest human being. I like, oh he's

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:15.200
<v Speaker 1>so wait, that is so fun. So because I always

0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 1>wondered who was you know, who wasn't Like obviously Justin

0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:23.040
<v Speaker 1>and j C were the biggest, right, So with that

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:25.280
<v Speaker 1>in sync grew, But I always wondered, like the people

0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:31.800
<v Speaker 1>that went for Lance or the other two Chris bats

0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 1>true boys. So I always wondered, like, you know who

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.720
<v Speaker 1>who those people? Girls liked them not saying that they

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:42.640
<v Speaker 1>mean they were cute, but you know, it's like j

0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.120
<v Speaker 1>T and j C. You know, were like the hot shots.

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.680
<v Speaker 1>But Lance, did it affect you when he came out?

0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:52.480
<v Speaker 1>Like did your little childhoodself? I guess I have the

0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 1>worst gaitar but like literally like this is not true

0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:01.280
<v Speaker 1>and like everyone and everyone was like how did you

0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:09.520
<v Speaker 1>not know it? Like I am shock, literally shook? Did

0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.720
<v Speaker 1>you question your I mean did you just question your

0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:16.560
<v Speaker 1>entire child entire childhood? I'm like, this doesn't mean anything anymore.

0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.760
<v Speaker 1>But knowing that he's like the coolest and nicest person ever,

0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you know what, I'll still I'll still stand

0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:29.680
<v Speaker 1>by my my childhood crush. That is amazing. Who's is today? Though? Like,

0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 1>who do you think kids like today? I think you

0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:36.000
<v Speaker 1>you have your hairy styles, your Shawn Mendez? I mean

0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:41.720
<v Speaker 1>does BTS boys people love them? Yeah? Oh yeah yeah.

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I will say in sixth grade, Mike g easy, that

0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 1>should be on my wall. No, actually, post Malan would

0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 1>be online. Um, Britney Spears when I was in sixth grade,

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:06.680
<v Speaker 1>you could not do any better? Really? Well, yeah that

0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:13.560
<v Speaker 1>was my girl for sure. That's awesome. I loved Brittany,

0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.719
<v Speaker 1>I mean I still love her. It to day now

0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.920
<v Speaker 1>that I know her sister, and her sister is awesome.

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 1>So I'm getting distracted. Bike what's wrong with ratchet eyelashes?

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Right now? They're like falling off. I'm just ficturing with

0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:37.200
<v Speaker 1>like nails being like yo, listen here, sorry, I put

0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.840
<v Speaker 1>enough glue on. Um look at and trying to like

0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:41.960
<v Speaker 1>got these like the you know, the books coming out

0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:44.120
<v Speaker 1>next week we're super excited about. We're doing a bunch

0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 1>of zooms and don't get mad at me. Um okay,

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:49.560
<v Speaker 1>but I'm super excited. Cheryl Burke is coming up soon.

0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.080
<v Speaker 1>So before we get to her, let's take a break

0:17:52.200 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 1>and I'm gonna reapply my lash. Hey, I'm a J

0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.960
<v Speaker 1>McClean and I'm Cheryl Burke, and I am Renee As

0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 1>I know who you don't know but you will know

0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:16.040
<v Speaker 1>on our new podcast, Pretty Messed Up. He's the pretty.

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm the mess, and Renee's the up. He is the up.

0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't think. I don't think everything, and if we do,

0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:25.600
<v Speaker 1>you better not do it on camera. Yeah. No, I

0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:29.000
<v Speaker 1>don't think we're fighting right now. Is this fighting that

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.240
<v Speaker 1>we fight all the time? And yeah, we fight constantly.

0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:34.760
<v Speaker 1>That's our way of communication. I don't think we'll ever fight,

0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, even though we are very similar personalities, which

0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot of times it doesn't work. I think, take

0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:46.240
<v Speaker 1>off those sunnies. This connection, Oh you can blink. I

0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.080
<v Speaker 1>have been teaching him also, not just a smile, but

0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:50.360
<v Speaker 1>to blink. We doesn't look like a psycho killer when

0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 1>we dance live on TV. I can't wait for the podcast.

0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:58.359
<v Speaker 1>There are so many stories about a j's honesty at

0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:03.200
<v Speaker 1>the wrong time. You know. Obviously a lot in the

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:07.119
<v Speaker 1>public has been said about me, my journey through recovery

0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.680
<v Speaker 1>and sobriety, my ups and downs, my highs and lows, um.

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:15.040
<v Speaker 1>But there's still so much left that not a lot

0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:18.840
<v Speaker 1>of people know about. And you know, I've compared myself

0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:21.800
<v Speaker 1>to an onion because there's a lot more layers to

0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:26.120
<v Speaker 1>me than anyone really knows about Funion exactly. I can't

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>wait to do the podcast because I can just call

0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:30.320
<v Speaker 1>him out and Renee can give me advice on how

0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:32.440
<v Speaker 1>to handle him. Sometimes because all I hear is the

0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:35.480
<v Speaker 1>tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk talk talk, excuses, excuses, excuses,

0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:42.639
<v Speaker 1>and careful Listen to Pretty Messed Up on the I

0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:47.160
<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen

0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:55.040
<v Speaker 1>to your podcast. That's right, sure. How are you a

0:19:55.440 --> 0:20:00.840
<v Speaker 1>huge fan of you? Guys? I love your podcast. You're

0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:04.280
<v Speaker 1>so sweet. I love you. I'm so excited that you're

0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:08.960
<v Speaker 1>on here. Um. We just had like a massive conversation

0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:13.800
<v Speaker 1>about oh my god, I missed the nineties. I love

0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:17.280
<v Speaker 1>the nineties. And who we had on our walls. Did

0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:21.760
<v Speaker 1>you have a specific person on your wall in the nineties?

0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:28.960
<v Speaker 1>Luke Perry rest in Peace was my jam. I think

0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:36.159
<v Speaker 1>Mario Lopez was on there. Uh, and definitely anything in

0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 1>sinc Okay, so for no, wait, no, sorry, New Kids

0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:46.440
<v Speaker 1>New Kids was New Kids? Yeah? No, New Kids was good?

0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:49.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh man, who was the lead? Jordany night I had

0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:52.199
<v Speaker 1>bed sheets, not even just post her. I was sleeping

0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:57.960
<v Speaker 1>on his face. Yeah, oh that's space. That's why I

0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:00.879
<v Speaker 1>forgot about him. I had. I had a thing with

0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.119
<v Speaker 1>Jordan McKnight too. Yeah, he was one of them. But

0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 1>I was curious how you felt, because I have to

0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:12.160
<v Speaker 1>be honest. I had Matthew on my Wow, I did.

0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:16.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry. I'll be sorry. That was so crazy.

0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 1>I had Ben Savage on mine. Fantastic, But I'm like,

0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I wonder how that would make it her husband hanging

0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:30.480
<v Speaker 1>on my wall and he would be so flattered. Well, no,

0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:32.719
<v Speaker 1>because I was saying too. I was like, you know, obviously,

0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:35.280
<v Speaker 1>when I saw you last year taking Since the Stars,

0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, Matthew Ward, that's so funny.

0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.600
<v Speaker 1>And I was just like I was like stanning over you,

0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:43.200
<v Speaker 1>even though like we've met obviously before. But then I

0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:47.440
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh my god, it's Screamer from Wine Down.

0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:52.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, you're hilarious. And we also dance. I mean,

0:21:52.760 --> 0:21:56.320
<v Speaker 1>I was on your season when who did you dance with? Think,

0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Ryan Locked. That's when we got like

0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:03.440
<v Speaker 1>bombarded on the dance floor. Yeah, that was so scary.

0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:07.879
<v Speaker 1>That was really really scary. And everyone said that they

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:09.840
<v Speaker 1>thought it was a setup, and I'm like, I don't

0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:11.760
<v Speaker 1>know if I don't get that, I don't think so.

0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:13.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't think anyone's like that planned out. I hope

0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:17.680
<v Speaker 1>not at least. Okay, Well, I'm we're super excited that

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Dancing with the Stars is coming back. Um, I wasn't

0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:21.920
<v Speaker 1>sure how it was all going to work out with

0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, the pandemic stuff, but I'm so happy that

0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:28.120
<v Speaker 1>you guys are dancing and you have a j Backstreet Boy.

0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:31.119
<v Speaker 1>He was definitely not on my wall, but I know

0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:33.119
<v Speaker 1>the songs, that's for sure. I think I was like

0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:36.480
<v Speaker 1>a fan of Backstreets music, but then the dancing was

0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 1>in sync hands down. Well, so here's my question, because

0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:44.120
<v Speaker 1>I was more in sync too. Um, I mean, I'm

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:46.320
<v Speaker 1>now obviously more of a fan of Backstreetvoice because they

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:48.399
<v Speaker 1>continue to do music and you know their stuff is

0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:51.240
<v Speaker 1>really good. And but are you a little worried that

0:22:51.320 --> 0:22:53.159
<v Speaker 1>you might start singing like an in sync no one?

0:22:53.359 --> 0:22:55.480
<v Speaker 1>The first of all, no one wants to hear me

0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 1>sing because that is like, honestly, even like when I

0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:00.720
<v Speaker 1>mean I'm sobered out of what I used to drink,

0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:03.080
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't even carry obee, that's how bad. I won't

0:23:03.119 --> 0:23:07.199
<v Speaker 1>even sing in the shower because I'll embarrass myself. Does

0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:13.400
<v Speaker 1>that make sense? Like I'm I'm I'm talking? Yeah, wait,

0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:15.720
<v Speaker 1>how long have you been? So far? Fun? Almost two

0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:18.480
<v Speaker 1>years old when we got engaged, So it's been about

0:23:18.560 --> 0:23:22.399
<v Speaker 1>two years okay, because I remember we drank a little bit.

0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, we were Yep. Sometimes I wonder if I

0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:29.040
<v Speaker 1>should start to getting kidding, but like, yeah, what was

0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:32.200
<v Speaker 1>your decision to stop? If you don't mind totally. Um. Well,

0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:35.200
<v Speaker 1>so my father passed away about two and a half

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:39.080
<v Speaker 1>years ago, and he was an alcoholic, and um, I

0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:41.800
<v Speaker 1>thought for sure when he was sick, it was either

0:23:41.840 --> 0:23:43.400
<v Speaker 1>going to go one way or the other. Like either

0:23:43.480 --> 0:23:46.640
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna go like in hardcore and like check

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:50.320
<v Speaker 1>myself into rehab, or I was gonna just quit culturkey.

0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:51.760
<v Speaker 1>But it was kind of like I promised, I just

0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:54.720
<v Speaker 1>made to myself. I never I didn't even tell Mad

0:23:54.760 --> 0:23:57.240
<v Speaker 1>about it or anybody. It was just a decision. And

0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:01.680
<v Speaker 1>I think subconsciously it was like I would start reacting

0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:04.920
<v Speaker 1>to the alcohol. So like I started getting hives randomly,

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:08.879
<v Speaker 1>and mind you, I could drink like I'm half Asian,

0:24:09.040 --> 0:24:12.200
<v Speaker 1>so like normally, like I never got the red Asian face,

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.040
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. Like ever, I was very

0:24:14.119 --> 0:24:16.520
<v Speaker 1>proud about it, and so I could drink like I

0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.240
<v Speaker 1>have a bottle of vodka and just be like mom sober,

0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:22.239
<v Speaker 1>like no one knew, you know. Um. But then all

0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:24.119
<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, I started reacting as soon as my

0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:26.800
<v Speaker 1>father passed away. And I think it's just the whole thing,

0:24:27.040 --> 0:24:32.520
<v Speaker 1>like a subconscious Um. Yeah, so it was not It's

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:34.600
<v Speaker 1>not like I went to a a or anything. But

0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:37.639
<v Speaker 1>I know that I have that. Um, I guess I

0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 1>have traits of an addict, you know, so um or

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.080
<v Speaker 1>I am an addict, I can say too, but like

0:24:43.280 --> 0:24:46.480
<v Speaker 1>I I don't know, Um, I don't know. It's just

0:24:46.560 --> 0:24:48.720
<v Speaker 1>a problem I made to myself. And I just feel

0:24:48.800 --> 0:24:51.600
<v Speaker 1>like I never went a day without drinking. So it

0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:54.400
<v Speaker 1>was important for me to kind of, you know, see

0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:59.600
<v Speaker 1>if I can do it, and I just stopped. That's awesome.

0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:04.760
<v Speaker 1>Good for you. Yeah, has been supportive with that for sure.

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:06.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like Matt and I have a long history,

0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:09.399
<v Speaker 1>right because we dated back in season when it was

0:25:09.480 --> 0:25:12.480
<v Speaker 1>my season, my second season, Season three of Dancing and

0:25:12.600 --> 0:25:15.560
<v Speaker 1>starts like twenty five years ago. It feels like met

0:25:15.680 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 1>him through his older brother Joey Lawrence when he did

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:21.520
<v Speaker 1>the show. Um, and so I back then, I was

0:25:21.600 --> 0:25:23.840
<v Speaker 1>like it was a big blur because like I come

0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.679
<v Speaker 1>from like the competition world where you're like an Olympian, right,

0:25:26.720 --> 0:25:28.639
<v Speaker 1>training every single day, and then you come on a

0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:31.680
<v Speaker 1>show like this, and yes it's rigorous the schedule, but

0:25:31.760 --> 0:25:34.639
<v Speaker 1>it's not like competition worlds, you know, So like it

0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:36.720
<v Speaker 1>was a get out of jail free card for me,

0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:38.240
<v Speaker 1>and it was like I never went to college, so

0:25:38.359 --> 0:25:41.400
<v Speaker 1>this was my college years here, um in Los Angeles,

0:25:41.560 --> 0:25:44.640
<v Speaker 1>just like going out seven nights a week. Um. Matt,

0:25:44.880 --> 0:25:46.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, he was already in the business since he

0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:49.920
<v Speaker 1>was a little boy. Um, so he already went out

0:25:50.040 --> 0:25:52.680
<v Speaker 1>and he was done with that whole club you know,

0:25:53.880 --> 0:25:58.200
<v Speaker 1>nightlife scene, I guess from when he was like sixteen seventeen,

0:25:58.240 --> 0:25:59.760
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, oh, I'm just getting started, and

0:25:59.840 --> 0:26:03.080
<v Speaker 1>so well it only lasted like six to eight months.

0:26:03.160 --> 0:26:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I went out in hardcore for like ten years, and

0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:08.920
<v Speaker 1>then finally I was like, you cannot pay me to

0:26:08.960 --> 0:26:13.479
<v Speaker 1>go out anymore. And Matt was waiting totally. And by

0:26:13.560 --> 0:26:15.480
<v Speaker 1>the way, we broke up and we didn't even run

0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:17.920
<v Speaker 1>into each other at a Ralph's, Like it was ten

0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:20.560
<v Speaker 1>years like and we lived, I know, and then we

0:26:20.720 --> 0:26:22.879
<v Speaker 1>just like, so, how did you guys come back together?

0:26:23.040 --> 0:26:24.479
<v Speaker 1>Was it? Did you reach out? Did he reach out?

0:26:24.520 --> 0:26:27.679
<v Speaker 1>What happened? My little sister like loves Matt, So she goes,

0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:30.639
<v Speaker 1>whatever happened to Matt? When I was like just you know,

0:26:30.920 --> 0:26:33.600
<v Speaker 1>trying to date and it's kind of impossible here in

0:26:33.680 --> 0:26:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Los Angeles, you know, so she's like, well, whatever happened

0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 1>to Matt? We love him, and um, She's like, give

0:26:38.359 --> 0:26:40.720
<v Speaker 1>me your phone and I'm like, wait, don't you dare

0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:42.879
<v Speaker 1>text him? And she texted him and she was like,

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.840
<v Speaker 1>merried Christmas. And then he responded right away and he's like, oh,

0:26:45.920 --> 0:26:47.520
<v Speaker 1>we should have dinner. I thought for sure he was

0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:50.720
<v Speaker 1>married already. I had no idea, right, and then we

0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:53.200
<v Speaker 1>had dinner and I was like, Okay, we're gonna do

0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:55.480
<v Speaker 1>this then, right, We're not gonna waste each other's time,

0:26:56.040 --> 0:27:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Like we're not just here to have dinner. You're like,

0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I want to marriage, I want kids, I want also.

0:27:03.160 --> 0:27:09.640
<v Speaker 1>I basically threatened him, and we got married amazing, familiar

0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:16.000
<v Speaker 1>it happily. Ever, that's the only way, No, it's absolutely

0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:19.639
<v Speaker 1>that's Uh. How is he with with the dancing stuff

0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:22.280
<v Speaker 1>and and and that I know just from Jane doing

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:24.639
<v Speaker 1>her season, how demanding it that is in the time,

0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:27.920
<v Speaker 1>So like during the season when you are grinding out

0:27:28.240 --> 0:27:31.080
<v Speaker 1>basically every day, how is he during that process and

0:27:31.160 --> 0:27:33.240
<v Speaker 1>not being around you so much? I mean, I swear

0:27:33.359 --> 0:27:35.520
<v Speaker 1>this is why we got married. He's just he gets it,

0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:38.159
<v Speaker 1>like he totally gets it because he's in the same world. Right,

0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:41.439
<v Speaker 1>So when he back in the day when you shoot movies, right,

0:27:41.760 --> 0:27:44.280
<v Speaker 1>you would like go out and go and travel and

0:27:44.440 --> 0:27:45.920
<v Speaker 1>be gone for a couple of months at a time.

0:27:45.920 --> 0:27:48.280
<v Speaker 1>And I don't think anybody would really understand unless if

0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:51.239
<v Speaker 1>you're in the business. And he's so supportive and right now,

0:27:51.359 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 1>like he got we have a new little puppy that

0:27:53.800 --> 0:27:57.159
<v Speaker 1>we treat like it's a human, little human running around everywhere,

0:27:57.240 --> 0:27:59.320
<v Speaker 1>and he's so he's so great, like he's gonna be

0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:01.280
<v Speaker 1>such a great fall other one day. So he's he's

0:28:01.320 --> 0:28:04.120
<v Speaker 1>so supportive, makes me breakfast and make sure that I'm

0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:07.639
<v Speaker 1>like healthy and mentally healthy. You know, you know how

0:28:07.720 --> 0:28:11.639
<v Speaker 1>the show is gets to you. How do you How

0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:15.680
<v Speaker 1>do you guys stay connected when y'all schedules because you can't.

0:28:15.920 --> 0:28:17.840
<v Speaker 1>It is so demanding when both your other work and

0:28:17.920 --> 0:28:23.400
<v Speaker 1>doing that. What do you guys do to stay connected? Therapy? Like, Actually,

0:28:23.800 --> 0:28:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm serious, because it's like you have, like I said,

0:28:26.240 --> 0:28:28.960
<v Speaker 1>a time right, So I'm very like calendar or like

0:28:29.040 --> 0:28:32.480
<v Speaker 1>I am just like to the t right um, and

0:28:32.640 --> 0:28:35.159
<v Speaker 1>so I need to block out time and schedule it.

0:28:35.200 --> 0:28:36.560
<v Speaker 1>You have to schedule. I think you have to be

0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:40.520
<v Speaker 1>mindful of scheduling time to be together because honestly, every

0:28:40.640 --> 0:28:42.760
<v Speaker 1>day your everyday life can just take over and you

0:28:42.840 --> 0:28:46.960
<v Speaker 1>haven't even made eye contact. I love that. What do

0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:52.080
<v Speaker 1>you guys, like, what's what's your biggest struggle in y'all's communication? Communication?

0:28:52.360 --> 0:28:56.360
<v Speaker 1>But else? Oh okay, so who's like what who struggles were? As? Like,

0:28:56.440 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 1>both of you guys aren't good a communication? Yeah, I

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 1>mean I'll take just as much fault. Sure. I mean,

0:29:00.760 --> 0:29:02.840
<v Speaker 1>like it's not really a bad thing. I think it's

0:29:02.880 --> 0:29:04.640
<v Speaker 1>good that we're talking about it right first of all.

0:29:04.720 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>But then like he tends to hold in his feelings

0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:09.880
<v Speaker 1>like a typical dude, you know, and I'm like diarrhea

0:29:09.920 --> 0:29:12.320
<v Speaker 1>of the mouth. So I'm just like everything I feel

0:29:12.480 --> 0:29:14.560
<v Speaker 1>I have to get out or else it's gonna eat

0:29:14.600 --> 0:29:16.920
<v Speaker 1>me alive. And then then I'll I don't want to

0:29:16.960 --> 0:29:19.520
<v Speaker 1>cause like I don't want resentment to build. So it's

0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:21.840
<v Speaker 1>like if I hold something in and I don't like

0:29:22.440 --> 0:29:24.640
<v Speaker 1>say it right away, but then sometimes I'll react and

0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:27.800
<v Speaker 1>my reaction isn't great, you know, So like I need

0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:31.800
<v Speaker 1>to I'm learning now just to think about the actual

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:35.840
<v Speaker 1>feeling as to why I'm being triggered too. Then Okay,

0:29:35.920 --> 0:29:38.240
<v Speaker 1>maybe I need to just like listen, I'm trying to

0:29:38.280 --> 0:29:42.680
<v Speaker 1>be a better listener and not just like react. Isn't

0:29:42.760 --> 0:29:44.720
<v Speaker 1>that so hard? They're like not to react when you're

0:29:44.720 --> 0:29:46.880
<v Speaker 1>in that moment. It's hard to just like take a

0:29:46.960 --> 0:29:49.680
<v Speaker 1>second because you know and even like something. You know, Mike,

0:29:49.720 --> 0:29:51.120
<v Speaker 1>we I mean we both worked on it, but like

0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:53.800
<v Speaker 1>Mike too will be like if we just take a minute,

0:29:54.040 --> 0:29:56.320
<v Speaker 1>we're not going to have like the big explosion. I know.

0:29:56.880 --> 0:29:59.840
<v Speaker 1>Like it's just it's it's so easy to like it

0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:02.840
<v Speaker 1>so easily avoidable. But yeah, we have such a hard

0:30:02.920 --> 0:30:05.240
<v Speaker 1>like it's like I black out, Janna, Like I seriously

0:30:05.320 --> 0:30:07.320
<v Speaker 1>like I have this like, oh my god, it's like

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:10.400
<v Speaker 1>a crazy ass feeling that I feel like I have

0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:13.200
<v Speaker 1>to say. I can't even either it's like me walking away,

0:30:13.240 --> 0:30:15.800
<v Speaker 1>which is also something I shouldn't do right or like

0:30:16.360 --> 0:30:19.040
<v Speaker 1>him then just like knocking on my door and I'm

0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:20.480
<v Speaker 1>like I just need a minute. I just need a minute.

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:22.520
<v Speaker 1>But then like I get it, like I get both sides.

0:30:22.560 --> 0:30:25.600
<v Speaker 1>I totally see it. Um, but it's really hard for

0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:27.880
<v Speaker 1>me to buy my tongue. But I'm really learning. I'm trying.

0:30:27.920 --> 0:30:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm meditating twice a day now, and it's

0:30:30.040 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 1>like it does help me, like just to chill. It

0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:36.800
<v Speaker 1>is funny. I mean we Jane and I were just

0:30:36.880 --> 0:30:39.000
<v Speaker 1>going at it was that yesterday, yeah, I think it

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:43.320
<v Speaker 1>was yesterday office. Would you say you're kept ching? Yeah,

0:30:43.320 --> 0:30:45.600
<v Speaker 1>I kept chirping. We were getting We kind of got

0:30:45.640 --> 0:30:47.920
<v Speaker 1>on each other about something and it was a moment

0:30:48.000 --> 0:30:51.000
<v Speaker 1>where Janna was able to compose and keep yourself composed initially,

0:30:51.440 --> 0:30:53.680
<v Speaker 1>and I just kind of kept chirping away and we

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:55.920
<v Speaker 1>put our computer screens. We have desks that face each other,

0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:58.200
<v Speaker 1>and we blocked each other with our screens the way

0:30:58.280 --> 0:31:00.560
<v Speaker 1>by the way that you moved your computer so funny.

0:31:01.160 --> 0:31:06.440
<v Speaker 1>I was, I don't look at you. And in that

0:31:06.600 --> 0:31:08.720
<v Speaker 1>moment when I kept chirping and finally I stopped chirping,

0:31:08.800 --> 0:31:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I was just I wanted to plant my flag. There's

0:31:12.640 --> 0:31:15.280
<v Speaker 1>no way I'm saying sorry, like I didn't do anything wrong,

0:31:16.040 --> 0:31:20.160
<v Speaker 1>and just lettings go by, right, and I like start breathing.

0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:25.400
<v Speaker 1>How different your thought is in thought process where Janna

0:31:25.480 --> 0:31:27.960
<v Speaker 1>heard me like breathing, and she was like, are you

0:31:28.040 --> 0:31:30.360
<v Speaker 1>ready say sorry yet? And I moved my screen. We

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:31.680
<v Speaker 1>had a good laugh. I was like, well, it's about

0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:33.160
<v Speaker 1>to until you just asked me if I was ready

0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:35.640
<v Speaker 1>say sorry, say like I can't. It's hard for me

0:31:35.680 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 1>to say sorry, and that's not good. It's my ego, right,

0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 1>So it's like I just like and when I do,

0:31:40.160 --> 0:31:43.760
<v Speaker 1>it's so listen, I'm super monotone. So when I'm happy,

0:31:43.840 --> 0:31:46.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm like this, sad, like this angry like this, like

0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:50.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't really like but he's so like animated and

0:31:50.120 --> 0:31:52.720
<v Speaker 1>like it's like talking from his diaphragm, and like when

0:31:52.760 --> 0:31:56.360
<v Speaker 1>he yelled, it's so like singing opera, like yo, man, chill,

0:31:56.520 --> 0:31:59.440
<v Speaker 1>like I get literally like everybody in the neighbors can

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:01.960
<v Speaker 1>hear you, right, And like I'm just like this and

0:32:02.080 --> 0:32:03.920
<v Speaker 1>so like and then I feel I'm like when you

0:32:04.120 --> 0:32:05.840
<v Speaker 1>when he yells as a trigger for me, I think,

0:32:05.880 --> 0:32:08.960
<v Speaker 1>So then I'm like I just either stop or I like.

0:32:09.200 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>But then I'm like deadly. I'm silent, but deadly, like

0:32:11.920 --> 0:32:16.880
<v Speaker 1>I'll say some evil under my breath, right, I know

0:32:17.120 --> 0:32:21.400
<v Speaker 1>you too, That's okay? Sorry, sorry no, but I mean no,

0:32:21.680 --> 0:32:23.320
<v Speaker 1>but I mean the same. I mean, shoot, we've we've

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:26.080
<v Speaker 1>all been there. I mean we we both have said

0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:28.720
<v Speaker 1>things that we wish we could take that way, you know,

0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:32.160
<v Speaker 1>because in those moments, you just your pain is speaking

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:35.560
<v Speaker 1>not the truth, you know, it's just it's just wanting

0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:38.040
<v Speaker 1>to hurt because you and I think that's something that

0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.080
<v Speaker 1>we realized to it and it's your thoughts. It's just

0:32:40.200 --> 0:32:42.440
<v Speaker 1>your thoughts. It's like your own perception and reality of

0:32:42.560 --> 0:32:44.680
<v Speaker 1>what you think it is when it's probably not what

0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:49.560
<v Speaker 1>your partner is thinking. Relationships, it's it's a lot. So

0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:53.040
<v Speaker 1>let me ask you this show, going back to Dancing

0:32:53.120 --> 0:32:54.680
<v Speaker 1>the Stars for a second. You know, you deal with

0:32:54.960 --> 0:32:57.680
<v Speaker 1>having a new partner every year in that kind of

0:32:57.840 --> 0:33:02.560
<v Speaker 1>environment together so much how I mean, just from watching

0:33:02.640 --> 0:33:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Janna and Gleb and Janna coming home and bitching about

0:33:05.160 --> 0:33:07.360
<v Speaker 1>Glad and being like you're such an asshole today and

0:33:07.600 --> 0:33:12.080
<v Speaker 1>every day it seemed like a relationship like during that time.

0:33:12.200 --> 0:33:15.440
<v Speaker 1>So do you find yourself like with these people, you're

0:33:16.440 --> 0:33:19.240
<v Speaker 1>you're in this relationship with them that gets you know,

0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:22.240
<v Speaker 1>you get contested with each other, you get emotional with

0:33:22.360 --> 0:33:25.280
<v Speaker 1>each other, you get angry, you get sad, you get okay.

0:33:25.360 --> 0:33:27.360
<v Speaker 1>So for me, it's like an arrange marriage, right, you

0:33:27.440 --> 0:33:31.440
<v Speaker 1>have no choice unfortunately sometimes right, So it's like you're

0:33:31.720 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 1>paired up with this person and I give this person

0:33:34.400 --> 0:33:36.840
<v Speaker 1>and I've had twenty three of them, Okay, so I

0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:39.880
<v Speaker 1>give them my feel, and it's like it's never what

0:33:40.160 --> 0:33:42.920
<v Speaker 1>people first of all, it has no it's not like

0:33:43.120 --> 0:33:45.880
<v Speaker 1>as sexy as people think it is. Us dry humping

0:33:45.960 --> 0:33:48.000
<v Speaker 1>like this seven days a week, right, Like it's not

0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:53.160
<v Speaker 1>really sexy, especially because like, look, there's some men and

0:33:53.240 --> 0:33:54.880
<v Speaker 1>I can only speak for myself that come on the

0:33:54.920 --> 0:33:58.160
<v Speaker 1>show and hate to be coached or um. This is

0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:00.600
<v Speaker 1>why I prefer athletes a lot, because as they don't

0:34:00.640 --> 0:34:03.280
<v Speaker 1>care a man woman, they love being coached and that's

0:34:03.280 --> 0:34:06.600
<v Speaker 1>all they know. So they're gonna just take the actual note,

0:34:07.080 --> 0:34:09.000
<v Speaker 1>do it, and then think about it when they go

0:34:09.120 --> 0:34:11.319
<v Speaker 1>home and then come back a better dancer. Then you've

0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:15.040
<v Speaker 1>got the emotional like actors, right, I'm married, I'm married.

0:34:15.040 --> 0:34:18.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm married an actor like I love, but like sometimes

0:34:18.400 --> 0:34:20.400
<v Speaker 1>on this show, like you have to be vulnerable, like

0:34:20.480 --> 0:34:22.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't care who you are, what you've done. Like,

0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:25.040
<v Speaker 1>if you're going to come on this show, the only

0:34:25.160 --> 0:34:27.000
<v Speaker 1>way to do this is to either make fun of

0:34:27.040 --> 0:34:30.239
<v Speaker 1>ballroom dancing and like go full out, because you're not

0:34:30.320 --> 0:34:32.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna look cool if you're trying to look cool, Like

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 1>there's no way in hell, Like you can't make ballroom

0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:38.560
<v Speaker 1>dancing look cool by like and this is like kind

0:34:38.600 --> 0:34:40.160
<v Speaker 1>of like what me and a J are going through

0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:42.320
<v Speaker 1>right now. I'm like, if it feels good, you're not

0:34:42.440 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 1>doing it right. So I don't know what to say

0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:46.280
<v Speaker 1>to you, Like you have to act like an ask

0:34:46.560 --> 0:34:48.080
<v Speaker 1>like you really do. Like I did this with Rob

0:34:48.160 --> 0:34:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Kardashian because he had a lot of issues right when

0:34:50.440 --> 0:34:53.120
<v Speaker 1>it was just his own insecurity or whatever. And so

0:34:53.360 --> 0:34:55.520
<v Speaker 1>literally we would be on like the live show and

0:34:55.560 --> 0:34:58.439
<v Speaker 1>I'd be saying the craziest at him, but it would

0:34:58.480 --> 0:35:01.799
<v Speaker 1>make him smile. It would make him just like exaggerate,

0:35:01.800 --> 0:35:04.400
<v Speaker 1>because it's all about exaggeration, right, like if you have

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:08.120
<v Speaker 1>to actually distort your whole body in order for it

0:35:08.280 --> 0:35:10.560
<v Speaker 1>to look good, right, and doesn't feel good at all.

0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:12.919
<v Speaker 1>But like with a hip hop dancer, like with someone

0:35:13.000 --> 0:35:15.600
<v Speaker 1>like a J who thinks he has dance experience, which

0:35:15.640 --> 0:35:17.480
<v Speaker 1>he does, and I'm gonna take that away from him,

0:35:17.680 --> 0:35:20.600
<v Speaker 1>but it's almost harder to entrain the brain because it's

0:35:20.640 --> 0:35:22.960
<v Speaker 1>like I need He's like he's also used to being

0:35:23.000 --> 0:35:25.000
<v Speaker 1>down here, and I'm like, yeah, I don't see your

0:35:25.040 --> 0:35:26.839
<v Speaker 1>neck and it doesn't look good. You've got to act

0:35:26.920 --> 0:35:29.640
<v Speaker 1>like you're like six feet tall. And so we're going

0:35:29.719 --> 0:35:32.279
<v Speaker 1>through this all of these different like life lessons and

0:35:32.360 --> 0:35:35.000
<v Speaker 1>then dance lessons, and then honestly, I am just like

0:35:35.080 --> 0:35:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I lose my number between the hours of eight pm

0:35:38.640 --> 0:35:41.759
<v Speaker 1>and eight am. Seriously don't want and don't want to

0:35:41.800 --> 0:35:44.000
<v Speaker 1>hear from you. I don't want to even like talk

0:35:44.120 --> 0:35:46.480
<v Speaker 1>dance because also I have to come home to my husband,

0:35:46.520 --> 0:35:48.920
<v Speaker 1>like he doesn't want to hear all Dancing with the

0:35:48.960 --> 0:35:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Stars talk? Are you kidding? So it's actually not that

0:35:52.800 --> 0:35:58.960
<v Speaker 1>sexy at all, actually quite the opposite. Yeah, And I'm like,

0:35:59.040 --> 0:36:01.080
<v Speaker 1>and you gotta work alone, buddy, Like I'm like, you

0:36:01.280 --> 0:36:03.000
<v Speaker 1>have to smell you from the moment you parked your car,

0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:06.799
<v Speaker 1>because I think it's just rude. So how's it going

0:36:06.880 --> 0:36:09.840
<v Speaker 1>between you and A J? Then that wasn't dark to

0:36:09.880 --> 0:36:13.040
<v Speaker 1>the AJ is good at that by the way, a J.

0:36:13.280 --> 0:36:14.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying out of like that was a summary

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:17.360
<v Speaker 1>of all twenty three. But then let's talk about the positive.

0:36:18.120 --> 0:36:21.160
<v Speaker 1>So the positive is a J is great. A J

0:36:21.360 --> 0:36:23.600
<v Speaker 1>knows how to take direction, like he's been working with

0:36:24.040 --> 0:36:26.560
<v Speaker 1>choreographers before, and just like being able to be a

0:36:26.719 --> 0:36:29.520
<v Speaker 1>team player, right because he has a boy band, right,

0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:32.000
<v Speaker 1>so it's not just him, um, but he's really, he

0:36:32.239 --> 0:36:37.040
<v Speaker 1>really is excited and obviously his uh boy band or mate,

0:36:37.160 --> 0:36:39.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what they call each other up. Nick

0:36:39.880 --> 0:36:42.160
<v Speaker 1>was on and so I think Nick may have scared

0:36:42.280 --> 0:36:44.440
<v Speaker 1>him a little bit just about like how ruling the

0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:47.920
<v Speaker 1>schedule is. But I was like, it has only just begun,

0:36:48.080 --> 0:36:51.320
<v Speaker 1>my friend. This is not even week two yet. I

0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:53.600
<v Speaker 1>feel like it's so sad though, with the fact that

0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:54.960
<v Speaker 1>there's not going to be like and I get it,

0:36:55.080 --> 0:36:57.360
<v Speaker 1>but that the audience, because for me when I was

0:36:57.400 --> 0:37:00.319
<v Speaker 1>on the show, it's like, the audience is what made

0:37:00.360 --> 0:37:04.160
<v Speaker 1>me nervous, which what made me like really excited. Yeah,

0:37:04.239 --> 0:37:06.080
<v Speaker 1>so okay. So I'm really good friends with Leah Remany,

0:37:06.120 --> 0:37:08.560
<v Speaker 1>who did the show right, and she's like, I wish

0:37:08.560 --> 0:37:10.960
<v Speaker 1>I would have signed up now, she goes, I am

0:37:11.280 --> 0:37:13.520
<v Speaker 1>so jealous that you guys, because I think it was

0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:17.879
<v Speaker 1>the live audience for her. Um, but the nerves turned

0:37:17.880 --> 0:37:19.840
<v Speaker 1>into like nerves, not like what you just said, like

0:37:19.960 --> 0:37:22.439
<v Speaker 1>it was like a good nervous you know. And I'm

0:37:22.600 --> 0:37:25.719
<v Speaker 1>nervous about it because I'm just like, oh, so we're

0:37:25.719 --> 0:37:28.800
<v Speaker 1>gonna be dancing our hearts out, giant kicking like crazy,

0:37:28.920 --> 0:37:31.440
<v Speaker 1>sweating our asses off, and then crickets like there's not

0:37:31.480 --> 0:37:34.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna be like any button. It's gonna be like the rehearsal,

0:37:34.760 --> 0:37:36.520
<v Speaker 1>like when no one was out there now, except we

0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:39.759
<v Speaker 1>can't swear right, because like it used to be like

0:37:39.840 --> 0:37:43.399
<v Speaker 1>a ratedar it was like dancing with the stars at dark. Yeah,

0:37:45.239 --> 0:37:47.359
<v Speaker 1>I know, I wish people could see their rehearsals because

0:37:47.400 --> 0:37:50.279
<v Speaker 1>that's when just like you really see the true like

0:37:50.600 --> 0:37:56.520
<v Speaker 1>couple relationship. So yeah, it's definitely revealing for sure. So

0:37:56.640 --> 0:37:59.480
<v Speaker 1>the ballroom is definitely filled with like you don't see gaps,

0:37:59.560 --> 0:38:01.520
<v Speaker 1>so it's a it'll be extra lighting. It looks like

0:38:01.560 --> 0:38:04.000
<v Speaker 1>a spaceship. It looks crazy in a good way though.

0:38:04.160 --> 0:38:07.919
<v Speaker 1>And are they are they testing you guys? Like every

0:38:07.960 --> 0:38:10.160
<v Speaker 1>few days? Is that? Like? What is what's the precautions

0:38:10.200 --> 0:38:13.560
<v Speaker 1>for five days a week, Monday through Friday, no weekends

0:38:14.000 --> 0:38:17.360
<v Speaker 1>from the spit test to the swab up the nose,

0:38:17.440 --> 0:38:20.000
<v Speaker 1>which is not great, but you know what is better

0:38:20.080 --> 0:38:23.640
<v Speaker 1>safe than sorry, So for sure. And I'm just glad

0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:25.640
<v Speaker 1>that the show, I mean they always say the show

0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:28.960
<v Speaker 1>must go on. Yeah, I'm just I'm glad that. Yeah, no, totally,

0:38:29.040 --> 0:38:30.920
<v Speaker 1>And I love that it's back in the ballroom because

0:38:30.920 --> 0:38:32.600
<v Speaker 1>I think if I was like I was thinking about

0:38:32.600 --> 0:38:34.920
<v Speaker 1>it before you know, we got officially picked up, Like,

0:38:35.000 --> 0:38:36.960
<v Speaker 1>how am I going to do this into my living room?

0:38:37.120 --> 0:38:40.400
<v Speaker 1>Like it's gonna look crazy? Yeah, so I'm happy they

0:38:40.520 --> 0:38:44.359
<v Speaker 1>pushed for that. Yeah, No, for sure, I totally agree

0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:50.399
<v Speaker 1>with you. Um, Mike, so you you're sending a package? Yes, yes, yes,

0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:53.480
<v Speaker 1>you got it so super. No, I have not gotten

0:38:53.520 --> 0:38:55.960
<v Speaker 1>it yet, Mike, you got it on the breakdown right,

0:38:56.960 --> 0:38:59.920
<v Speaker 1>the Bailey Blue clothing, your masks, right, your partner with

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:03.680
<v Speaker 1>them for your mask, tell us about that for I'm

0:39:03.880 --> 0:39:07.240
<v Speaker 1>so I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm super excited

0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:10.520
<v Speaker 1>too when there's six of them and my whole thing

0:39:10.680 --> 0:39:13.279
<v Speaker 1>was okay. So I even before the pandemic, I did

0:39:13.320 --> 0:39:16.440
<v Speaker 1>a live stage show in Japan and I saw, basically

0:39:16.520 --> 0:39:19.160
<v Speaker 1>long story short, I saw these beautiful Japanese women walking

0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:22.160
<v Speaker 1>around with like designer purses and clothes, and then they

0:39:22.200 --> 0:39:23.960
<v Speaker 1>were wearing a dental mask and I was like, wait

0:39:24.000 --> 0:39:26.360
<v Speaker 1>a second, this is crazy, Like why are you rooting

0:39:26.560 --> 0:39:29.640
<v Speaker 1>an outfit like this is definitely an accessory, right, And

0:39:29.719 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 1>it's like you wouldn't be wearing a paper bag as

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:34.319
<v Speaker 1>a purse. So it's like you need to watch what's

0:39:34.320 --> 0:39:36.520
<v Speaker 1>on your face and like, let's just look cute. So

0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I went to my agents and I was like, we

0:39:38.040 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 1>should definitely come out with the line of masks. She

0:39:39.640 --> 0:39:42.720
<v Speaker 1>thought I was crazy cut to you know, a series

0:39:42.800 --> 0:39:45.279
<v Speaker 1>of unfortunate events obviously, and I was like, you know

0:39:45.320 --> 0:39:48.560
<v Speaker 1>what this is meant to be, I'm doing this, And

0:39:49.040 --> 0:39:52.759
<v Speaker 1>so I partnered with Bailey Blue and we created six

0:39:52.920 --> 0:39:55.799
<v Speaker 1>masks that basically you don't swallow. So like, I don't

0:39:55.800 --> 0:39:57.920
<v Speaker 1>know about you guys, but whenever I used to wear

0:39:58.040 --> 0:40:01.439
<v Speaker 1>masks from whatever company, I would hal exhale, cry, laugh,

0:40:01.560 --> 0:40:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I would just choke on my mask, so just ruin

0:40:04.120 --> 0:40:07.239
<v Speaker 1>the moment um. So we found a way to like

0:40:07.440 --> 0:40:11.160
<v Speaker 1>still be CDC approved obviously, but then still have space

0:40:11.280 --> 0:40:13.279
<v Speaker 1>between like the nose in the mouth area, so that

0:40:13.400 --> 0:40:15.800
<v Speaker 1>bridge here, so where you could like inhale x do

0:40:15.840 --> 0:40:18.279
<v Speaker 1>you mean like running a mask dance in this, and

0:40:18.360 --> 0:40:20.200
<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't be swallowing your masks. And then I was like,

0:40:20.280 --> 0:40:22.600
<v Speaker 1>why not put some glitter too while we're at it.

0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:26.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean that's I love that. I'm so excited because

0:40:26.520 --> 0:40:29.520
<v Speaker 1>now it's gonna just like, yeah, I got you the

0:40:29.600 --> 0:40:33.839
<v Speaker 1>rum By one. I definitely sent this one to that one.

0:40:34.320 --> 0:40:37.960
<v Speaker 1>That's that's so pretty. Where can people on a Bailey

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Blue Clothing dot com Bailey Blue Clothing is a b

0:40:42.680 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 1>l U yeah, or just be you Bailey Blue Bailey

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:49.560
<v Speaker 1>Blue Clothing dot Com. Also, I bought you the drive

0:40:49.680 --> 0:40:52.880
<v Speaker 1>the drive mask this is obviously it's named after the

0:40:53.040 --> 0:40:55.799
<v Speaker 1>dances you see on Dancing with the Stars. And then

0:40:55.880 --> 0:40:57.680
<v Speaker 1>this is a mirror ball mask. It's got like a

0:40:57.760 --> 0:41:01.000
<v Speaker 1>bunch of sequins on it. Que Oh, you guys have

0:41:01.080 --> 0:41:02.800
<v Speaker 1>to go to the website right now. It's so cute.

0:41:03.000 --> 0:41:05.520
<v Speaker 1>That stuff is so good. And Mike, I got you

0:41:05.640 --> 0:41:07.319
<v Speaker 1>the song one Aware Yours. Mike got you the song

0:41:07.400 --> 0:41:13.560
<v Speaker 1>the one. I love that. Um, Cheryl, thank you seriously

0:41:13.680 --> 0:41:17.239
<v Speaker 1>so much, UM for just being I I just loved

0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:19.840
<v Speaker 1>you from from the first second that I met you. UM.

0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:21.719
<v Speaker 1>You were just always so kind and so sweet and

0:41:22.200 --> 0:41:24.920
<v Speaker 1>just thanks for being open and honest and being vulnerable.

0:41:24.920 --> 0:41:26.840
<v Speaker 1>And thank you guys. I love This is why I

0:41:26.920 --> 0:41:29.279
<v Speaker 1>love listening to you guys, because you're so wait and

0:41:29.360 --> 0:41:31.279
<v Speaker 1>you have a new podcast. To me and A J,

0:41:31.920 --> 0:41:35.400
<v Speaker 1>We're like, well, I know it's gonna be called It's Me,

0:41:35.560 --> 0:41:39.560
<v Speaker 1>a J and his friend, UM, and it's the three

0:41:39.600 --> 0:41:41.480
<v Speaker 1>of us it's called pretty messed up. It's with my heart,

0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:44.719
<v Speaker 1>pretty messed up. Okay, what is it going to be about?

0:41:44.760 --> 0:41:46.920
<v Speaker 1>So our listeners can go from this one literally, so

0:41:47.040 --> 0:41:49.520
<v Speaker 1>the three of us are all sober, and we're just

0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:53.040
<v Speaker 1>basically talking about our journey and us always trying just

0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:55.400
<v Speaker 1>to wake up and be the better version of ourselves

0:41:55.440 --> 0:41:57.640
<v Speaker 1>that we could be, you know, and and along that

0:41:57.960 --> 0:42:03.560
<v Speaker 1>journey it's pretty messed up. So that I mean especially

0:42:03.680 --> 0:42:06.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, I feel like you can relate to that too,

0:42:06.520 --> 0:42:09.360
<v Speaker 1>and the journey. What I do have one question because

0:42:09.360 --> 0:42:13.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm always curious since I'm like learning new about addiction, Um,

0:42:13.320 --> 0:42:16.800
<v Speaker 1>that journey? What? Because you said you don't follow a

0:42:16.840 --> 0:42:19.640
<v Speaker 1>twelve step program, So I'm just curious, like how, like

0:42:19.800 --> 0:42:21.920
<v Speaker 1>what was the decision to not because I know, like

0:42:22.000 --> 0:42:24.960
<v Speaker 1>when Mike his twelve step program, it's like, what what's

0:42:24.960 --> 0:42:27.080
<v Speaker 1>the difference in choosing to do that or choosing not

0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:29.359
<v Speaker 1>to do that? Well, I I've never done a twelve

0:42:29.360 --> 0:42:32.000
<v Speaker 1>step program. A j is currently in the twelve step program,

0:42:32.160 --> 0:42:35.480
<v Speaker 1>but like, um, so you know, I actually I went

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.400
<v Speaker 1>with I had my dance coach was an alcoholic, and

0:42:38.480 --> 0:42:41.320
<v Speaker 1>I went with him to a meeting and I just

0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 1>like from then on, I decided just to be in therapy.

0:42:44.480 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm I'm constantly in therapy, right, So I've been

0:42:47.280 --> 0:42:50.040
<v Speaker 1>doing that for like ten twelve years. And obviously when

0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:52.359
<v Speaker 1>I was a kid, um, you know, I went through

0:42:52.520 --> 0:42:56.360
<v Speaker 1>some child trauma, UM, being molested as a kid, and

0:42:56.440 --> 0:42:58.920
<v Speaker 1>so then my mom got me into therapy and then

0:42:59.080 --> 0:43:01.200
<v Speaker 1>it was my choice of being here to Los Angeles

0:43:01.320 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 1>to continue it. Um. And so I don't I don't know,

0:43:04.400 --> 0:43:07.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know like why or I don't know the difference.

0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:09.440
<v Speaker 1>I just know that this has worked for me, um,

0:43:10.360 --> 0:43:13.200
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I'm just taking it one day at

0:43:13.200 --> 0:43:17.600
<v Speaker 1>a time. I guess, good for you, Cheryl, that's awesome.

0:43:17.920 --> 0:43:19.960
<v Speaker 1>And that goes to show, I mean that it can

0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:23.400
<v Speaker 1>look different for different people, because you know, that's the thing,

0:43:23.480 --> 0:43:26.879
<v Speaker 1>as you learn about through recovery and being sober, it's

0:43:27.520 --> 0:43:30.520
<v Speaker 1>everyone's recovery can look different, and it's it is, it

0:43:30.680 --> 0:43:34.319
<v Speaker 1>is customizable, um, you know, to an extent. I also

0:43:34.480 --> 0:43:37.400
<v Speaker 1>love I love the twelfth Step program. I believe everybody

0:43:37.440 --> 0:43:39.400
<v Speaker 1>should do the twelf step program, whether you're an addict

0:43:39.560 --> 0:43:45.520
<v Speaker 1>or not. You know, yeah, right, really need to make amends,

0:43:45.560 --> 0:43:49.840
<v Speaker 1>don't we absolutely? Um? But Cheryl, seriously so proud of you.

0:43:50.000 --> 0:43:52.800
<v Speaker 1>Love you. Everyone listening to podcasts, go to Billy Bailey

0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Blue Watch Dancing with the Stars. Her and a J

0:43:55.680 --> 0:43:57.320
<v Speaker 1>are going to tear up the dance floor. Cheryl, I

0:43:57.400 --> 0:44:01.520
<v Speaker 1>love you, and um please don't tell Madam. I'm telling you,

0:44:01.600 --> 0:44:04.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm playing. She's going to text him right now, absolutely

0:44:05.880 --> 0:44:09.360
<v Speaker 1>to day. I love Its awesome, Cheryl. Thank you so

0:44:09.560 --> 0:44:24.279
<v Speaker 1>much for coming on by Cheryl. I can see why

0:44:24.320 --> 0:44:26.360
<v Speaker 1>you love Cheryl so much. She's so sweet. I'm so

0:44:26.480 --> 0:44:30.880
<v Speaker 1>proud of her though, that she's sober and she's living

0:44:30.960 --> 0:44:33.120
<v Speaker 1>her best life right now with Matt and just I

0:44:33.320 --> 0:44:37.600
<v Speaker 1>love that. I love that they're marital issues, that they're

0:44:37.600 --> 0:44:40.440
<v Speaker 1>fighting for their marital issues, like obviously there's conflict like

0:44:40.560 --> 0:44:43.279
<v Speaker 1>any other marriage, and they're going to therapy and they're

0:44:43.280 --> 0:44:46.000
<v Speaker 1>working on it. And that's just so inspiring. And I

0:44:46.040 --> 0:44:47.920
<v Speaker 1>think you should be on their new podcast. I'm just

0:44:48.000 --> 0:44:53.440
<v Speaker 1>putting that out there, Daniel. But I feel like this

0:44:53.600 --> 0:44:58.920
<v Speaker 1>was an amazing show and I just, yeah, I'm excited

0:44:59.080 --> 0:45:02.000
<v Speaker 1>for people to listen to. You know, I wanna end

0:45:02.080 --> 0:45:09.680
<v Speaker 1>it with something very topical for this podcast. Oh let's

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:18.359
<v Speaker 1>hear it. So my heart dropped during the show because

0:45:18.400 --> 0:45:23.160
<v Speaker 1>I got this random text message that popped up from

0:45:23.480 --> 0:45:31.120
<v Speaker 1>some weird hotmail dot com that says, how are you there?

0:45:32.320 --> 0:45:38.560
<v Speaker 1>From Catherine Dalina and my my heart dropped when it came.

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:44.320
<v Speaker 1>And I'm sorry for triggers that come up around this

0:45:45.320 --> 0:45:48.120
<v Speaker 1>and willing to do whatever we need to do to

0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:53.400
<v Speaker 1>look into this, whatever you need around it, okay, but

0:45:53.520 --> 0:45:57.759
<v Speaker 1>it's scared the out of me. Appreciate you bringing it

0:45:57.840 --> 0:46:00.239
<v Speaker 1>to me. It sucks, like why are it, Like are

0:46:00.400 --> 0:46:02.520
<v Speaker 1>these people and why did they reach out? You know,

0:46:02.760 --> 0:46:07.520
<v Speaker 1>like but so it's you know, as those of you

0:46:07.600 --> 0:46:13.440
<v Speaker 1>who are avid listeners, remember you know where Jane and

0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:17.600
<v Speaker 1>I handled a situation like this poorly just earlier this year,

0:46:17.840 --> 0:46:23.520
<v Speaker 1>and where something came to my phone a spam picture

0:46:23.560 --> 0:46:25.920
<v Speaker 1>and text mess and message similar to this, but this

0:46:26.000 --> 0:46:30.760
<v Speaker 1>one doesn't have a picture, and you know I deleted

0:46:30.800 --> 0:46:36.320
<v Speaker 1>it without telling Jenna because you know, my justification was,

0:46:37.400 --> 0:46:41.279
<v Speaker 1>all right, I know this isn't anything. Why trigger her

0:46:41.520 --> 0:46:48.239
<v Speaker 1>or bring up past when I don't have to so,

0:46:50.080 --> 0:46:51.720
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not gonna lie. When I got it, there's

0:46:51.800 --> 0:46:53.719
<v Speaker 1>that that split second in my head where I'm like,

0:46:54.600 --> 0:46:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I really don't want to trigger you. I really don't

0:46:58.000 --> 0:47:00.040
<v Speaker 1>want to bring this up or deal with it, to

0:47:00.120 --> 0:47:02.319
<v Speaker 1>deal with it because I'm like, because you're not doing

0:47:02.320 --> 0:47:06.520
<v Speaker 1>anything right. So it's just, you know, it's just it

0:47:06.680 --> 0:47:08.960
<v Speaker 1>just sucks, and it sucks that I you know that

0:47:09.280 --> 0:47:11.560
<v Speaker 1>I've done things in the past for for this to

0:47:11.640 --> 0:47:15.000
<v Speaker 1>be triggering, but I wanted to do it on air

0:47:15.120 --> 0:47:16.680
<v Speaker 1>because I mean, this is what we do, you know,

0:47:16.800 --> 0:47:18.759
<v Speaker 1>this is what we talk about on this show, and

0:47:19.560 --> 0:47:21.440
<v Speaker 1>this is as real time as it gets because I've

0:47:21.520 --> 0:47:27.480
<v Speaker 1>literally got this during the show. Yeah, so, well, I

0:47:27.520 --> 0:47:30.279
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you bringing it to me. Does suck, does bring

0:47:30.360 --> 0:47:32.960
<v Speaker 1>up certain things, but you're bringing it to me, you know,

0:47:35.360 --> 0:47:38.320
<v Speaker 1>is the best thing you can do, you know, because

0:47:39.320 --> 0:47:46.640
<v Speaker 1>that just shows me. Yeah, so thank you. Yeah. Well, guys,

0:47:47.120 --> 0:47:48.719
<v Speaker 1>on that note, we're going to have a fight and

0:47:48.760 --> 0:47:51.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm kidding. I totally getting no, no, I know, I

0:47:51.400 --> 0:47:54.480
<v Speaker 1>super appreciate it. I swear I really do, so thank

0:47:54.560 --> 0:47:57.759
<v Speaker 1>you of course. Can I delete it please? Thank you?

0:47:58.520 --> 0:48:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Um yeah, so good episode ending with the bomb. But

0:48:08.400 --> 0:48:10.080
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing. Be honest, be real time, because in

0:48:10.160 --> 0:48:12.960
<v Speaker 1>the end, it's so much better than him deleting it

0:48:13.160 --> 0:48:19.440
<v Speaker 1>and justifying or not telling me. Um, be honest, communicate

0:48:20.239 --> 0:48:22.480
<v Speaker 1>I love you guys, see you next week, later