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Speaker 1: You don't confession, I can't take back all arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse Speaker text to seventy five nine, who says, for

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Speaker 2: the last ten or so years, whenever my husband and

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Speaker 2: I vote by mail, I always take our ballots with

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Speaker 2: me to the grocery store so I can just drop

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Speaker 2: them in the mailbox.

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Speaker 3: There.

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Speaker 2: Fine, but I only realized last week it's not really

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Speaker 2: a mailbox I've been using.

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Speaker 3: It's a food donation.

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Speaker 1: Ba.

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Speaker 3: I am so embarrassed.

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Speaker 2: I can't tell my husband our votes haven't counted for

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Speaker 2: ten years.

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Speaker 1: Yea, god that you've insulted the poor food donation.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Some guys like, is this an edible voting? I just

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Speaker 2: know the election conspiracy folks are gonna go nuts for

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Speaker 2: that quote.

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Speaker 1: There.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I will butt our vote didn't count. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: Somebody voted for an Apple Corps. This is why we

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Speaker 2: keep listeners and non us here on the mass speaker,

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Speaker 2: so they can confess to rigging and throwing government elections

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Speaker 2: guilt free on our show. Let's meet today's secret keeper,

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Speaker 2: who's chosen to go by the name Perry today. Perry Welcome,

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, he is your last name Winkle, No, that's

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Speaker 2: not my confession. You got a half laugh from him,

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Speaker 2: Brooke that that was good.

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Speaker 3: Just try to lighten the mood because you sound kind

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Speaker 3: of serious.

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Speaker 2: Perry. Well, the voice changer is on. You are the

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Speaker 2: mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: Man, all right, I need to make a pretty serious confession.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you guys are masking my voice.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So what's up.

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Speaker 1: Last year, my grandmother got really thick. I'm sorry, so hard,

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Speaker 1: thank you. So she was in the hospital. It was

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Speaker 1: getting serious. The doctors were telling us that they weren't

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Speaker 1: very optimistic about her chances.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so hard, I know.

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Speaker 1: So I went into the hospital to see her, thinking,

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Speaker 1: this is probably the last time I'm going to see her.

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Speaker 1: And one thing my grandmother she always wanted was for

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Speaker 1: me to fall in love and get married and have

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Speaker 1: a family.

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Speaker 3: Oh sweet Grandma, she actually wanted that.

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Speaker 1: She did. She always would ask me about it and stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I just wanted to make her happy. So I

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Speaker 1: told her that I got engaged. Okay, but I didn't.

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Speaker 1: There was no real girl.

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Speaker 3: I yes, we're all shocked. Wait, why why.

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Speaker 1: I showed her like a random picture of the straw

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Speaker 1: on Instagram, and I was like, yeah, this is my fiancee.

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Speaker 3: I thought I was going to show Brooks picture.

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Speaker 1: Maybe.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's kind of like, no harm, no failure. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: your heart's in the right place.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you shouldn't be lying to her, but you're

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Speaker 2: doing it for the right reasons.

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Speaker 1: A couple of weeks went by and she started getting better.

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Speaker 2: Oh I want to say, oh no, but that's a

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Speaker 2: good thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it was a good thing. Everyone was very happy.

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Speaker 1: A couple more weeks but she got out of the hospital.

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Speaker 2: Grandma, Oh my god, what stubborn old lady. She was

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Speaker 2: inspired by the news that her grandson is about to

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Speaker 2: fall in love and get married.

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Speaker 3: Wait, I mean, like, you're so happy, but you're probably

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Speaker 3: also kind of freaking out right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like she thinks I'm still engaged to this day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's been a year.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, why can't you be like most grandmas

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Speaker 2: and have a bad memory.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when you finally actually do get a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Though, that's not even like the thing I'm worried about,

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Speaker 1: that would be great because I could just kind of

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Speaker 1: fudge the picture a little bit, or maybe I don't know, or.

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Speaker 2: Maybe blame it on her memory, like, no, Graham, Yes,

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Speaker 2: she must be like curious about it over if it's

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Speaker 2: gone on for the past year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean she asks me all the time. She's like,

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Speaker 1: how's mad It's sin she remembers her name and showing

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Speaker 1: her Yeah, I keep showing her the same picture. I'm like, look,

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Speaker 1: she's out the brunch with these same girls she loves

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Speaker 1: going to brunch grandma, you know.

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Speaker 3: Like it just the same brunch photo.

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Speaker 1: Brunch picture. Yeah. Remember he's not that great, but like

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Speaker 1: she's no, like a brunch group.

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Speaker 3: So you're gonna get how have you not gotten outed

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Speaker 3: by another family member?

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Speaker 1: No, my mom knows, like I told my mom, And

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Speaker 1: my mom's like, you cannot tell her.

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Speaker 2: They left you.

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Speaker 1: Like you will? That might kill her. Yeah, you guys,

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Speaker 1: I don't even think you like she made a Christmas

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Speaker 1: stocking with her name on it, expects she gave me

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Speaker 1: a birthday card for her.

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Speaker 2: But you at least pocketed the money out of the car.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: You're away.

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Speaker 3: What do you tell her?

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Speaker 1: It gets worse, It gets worse. We're singing. The last

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Speaker 1: time I saw her, she told me that she wrote

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Speaker 1: Madison into her will.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh god, Okay, now we may need to like,

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Speaker 2: Madison may need to cheat on you or something, you know.

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Speaker 1: No, no, that would kill her. That would kill I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm considering hiring an actress at this point.

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Speaker 3: Okay, James Madison. That that's rough, man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I never thought trying to do something nice would

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Speaker 1: turn out so badly.

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Speaker 3: So when are you going to send her her your

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Speaker 3: wedding invitation or.

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Speaker 1: No? I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to see your guys grandbabies, I mean

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Speaker 3: her great grandchildren are going to be a door.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you must be on the like the dating

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Speaker 2: apps right now with a filter for only Madison's at

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Speaker 2: this point.

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Speaker 3: Right, it just has to be a pet name, Jeffrey.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, Madison.

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Speaker 3: Is just her name's Rebecca, but I call her Madison. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I keep trying to come up with stuff. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: the longer.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, you're really going to meet a girl,

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Speaker 2: and at this point you're gonna have to have a

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Speaker 2: fake grandma to introduce her to you.

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Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, you know you got a lot ahead of you, dude.

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Speaker 2: We wish you, like, yeah, here's the good news. You

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Speaker 2: have been in a successful, committed relationship for an entire

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Speaker 2: year now, which that's more than most couples that I know,

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Speaker 2: even if she is imaginary.

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Speaker 1: That broke up.

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Speaker 3: Hey, listen, this couple is perfect. So we are proud

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Speaker 3: of you, buddy. You keep that going okay, and text

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Speaker 3: in the seven, eight, five nine too.

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Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 3: Your phone TAP's coming up right after this, brooking Jeffrey

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Speaker 3: in the morning,