WEBVTT - Nobody Wants This: A Rabbi’s Perspective 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:11.360 Shaloam everybody. Chris Harrison coming to you from the home 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:15.440 office in Austin, Texas. I say shalom because today we're 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:17.239 going to talk about one of my favorite shows that 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.000 I just binge watched and I think a lot of 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:22.680 you are as well. It's Nobody wants this on Netflix. 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.200 It came out back in September, and I think it's 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.880 really picking up more and more steam. It's with Kristin Bell, 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:34.879 Adam Brody, Justin Lupe and Timothy Simons, who is so 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.760 good as Sasha. He was great and deep as well, 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:41.600 but he's I mean, this guy just crushes it. But 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.199 Kristen Bell Adam Brody and the premise of this is, 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.040 you know, I'll just give you the thirty thousand ft 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:50.120 level if you haven't watched it. Adam Brody as a young, cool, hip, 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:54.680 good looking rabbi, Kristen Bell is agnostic, and the two 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:58.960 fall in love and then you know, mayhem ensues. But 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:04.679 his caused and created so many great conversations in and 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:09.080 out of the Jewish faith. Little known kind of backstory 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.920 with me is that so my mom is Jewish and 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:13.840 so I also grew up kind of in and out 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:17.880 of the Jewish faith. I am a Christian and I 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:21.720 was baptized with my son. But I also celebrate and 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.920 celebrated my entire life the Jewish traditions, Passover and Hanikah, 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:29.959 et cetera. And and that means a lot to me 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.360 as well, and that that side of my family and 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:38.120 that side of myself is very important, and it's I 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.720 don't I was wondering if it struck maybe more of 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:44.040 a chord with me, because you know, I was watching 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:47.160 my Jewish cousin's date and in and out of the temple, 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:49.560 and then I was not in the temple, but I 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.600 was dating and would you know, be with people in 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.280 the Jewish faith, And it was just really interesting to 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:58.280 have these conversations and to now see it all play 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:02.200 out and nobody wants this. I just thought, this is funny, 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.600 it's fascinating, and I thought, who could we bring on 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:08.280 to talk about this? So you know what we did. 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:12.359 We found two really cool rabbis from different parts of 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:15.000 the country. But lo and behold, they actually knew each other. 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:21.120 There's Rabbi Joshua Bennett, who is at Temple Israel in 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:26.920 Michigan and he actually had this well, I, you know, 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.360 I would say she didn't study under him, but attended 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:37.079 temple with Rabbi Joshua's Rabbi Leah Sternberg. And Rabbi Sternberg 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:40.600 was raised in Michigan, so that's where she went. But 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:47.840 she then studied and worked in California in Colorado. And 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:52.080 Leah is an assistant rabbi at Temple Bane in New Jersey. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:57.000 And they are young in hip and cool themselves. But 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.120 I just wanted to have them. Have them on today. 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.320 Let's let's lighten the load a little bit and talk 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:05.640 about not only a great show, but how real is it? 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:11.359 What's missing? What hit home to these rabbis about their 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:15.119 own faith and about people dating outside of their religion. 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:18.280 So we dive in today on the Most Dramatic Podcast 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:23.880 with Rabbi Leah and Rabbi Josh. Rabbi Josh, Rabbi Leah 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:26.399 joining me now, Leah, I think you're in New Jersey, Josh, 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.160 You're still in Michigan, right, correct? 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:30.040 Yes, thank you. 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:33.839 Guys for joining me. This is look, why have one 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.280 rabbi on when we can have both? 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.720 I love that and happy to be here very happy 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:39.560 to be here as well. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:42.720 Little backstory here, Rabbi Leah, I know you're in New Jersey, 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:46.280 but you studied under Rabbi Josh. Is that correct? 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:51.760 I actually grew up and was my teenage years at 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:56.080 Temple were with the Rabbi Josh and so you could 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:58.040 say studied, but really grew up there. 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:01.280 And that's I love that. What a great story. But 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:03.320 I also like too because of the topic we're going 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.240 to talk about with Nobody Wants This, this show that 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:10.360 I quickly became addicted to like many others. And maybe 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.520 it's because you know, my my mom's side of the 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.960 family is Jewish, so I grew up with this feeling 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:24.240 in this this idea that you know, Jewish, the Jewish, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.720 you know, congregation would like only seek out to marry 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.520 and date Jewish people. I went through this when I 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.160 was in high school. I remember I was dating a girl, 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:38.680 Julie shout out to you, but I remember her mom saying, 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:41.920 I know you're only half Jewish, honey, but that's good enough. 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:45.440 That's close. And and that really typifies what we were 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.400 to dive what we're diving into today with the show 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.240 Nobody Wants This, and hopefully you guys have seen this. 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.480 I'm sure you've talked about this. 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.880 Yeah, I binge watched it, I think in two nights 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.080 with my wife. So if I loved every minute. 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:02.039 It is, it's because look, it's very safe. It's a 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.960 very safe, simple watch. As people say with books, it's 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:07.800 a simple read. This is a very simple watch. Leah. 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:11.560 Yes, I also watched it very quickly, and I have 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.719 I'm currently on maternity leave, so I have plenty of 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:19.840 time to sit and binge watch, and so I also 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.240 went through this one very fast and quickly became obsessed 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:23.839 with it as well. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:28.680 Well. First of all, Mazeltov. Second of all, the you know, 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:31.320 it was interesting because I remember sitting with my cousin, 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:35.880 my Jewish cousin one day, and she was trying to 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.280 date and telling me, you know how hard it is. 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.640 I grew up in Dallas, So Dallas as a beautiful 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:45.120 Jewish community, but as many communities, it's small, it's tight knit, 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.640 and you know, everybody knows everybody, and so she's like, 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.400 it's very hard to date, you know, within the community 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:55.239 because everybody knows everyone. You know, we are fourth generation Dallas. 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.720 Our grandparents are very high up in the temple and 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.640 wonderful people, and so we just everybody knew them, right, 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:05.279 And as you see this many times in a Jewish community, 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:08.960 it gets very difficult and she's like, I only want 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:13.800 to date someone who is of the Jewish faith. Where 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:18.920 do we stand on this now? In modern times? Modern dating? 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:21.919 Is this still the way? Is it still? Do you 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.600 see this with the folks that attend your temples? Josh, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:26.960 I'll start with you in Michigan. 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:29.279 First of all, I think it's important for us to 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.600 recognize that the Jewish community is not monolithic. So there 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.120 are different versions of the answer to this question. If 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:37.719 you were to ask somebody in the orthodox world, the 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:41.839 more traditional world, they would say, we only marry within 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:42.960 because it's. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.400 Proliferating the provision and the community. 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:49.080 But then you know, you move to the more liberal 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.800 side of Judaism and the rules are shifted a little bit. 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:54.839 So one of the big differences in our movement, the 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:58.520 reform movement, is that we accept naturally anal descent or 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:01.799 patrol and ial descent. So if one of the partners 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:04.120 in the relationship is Jewish, then the kids are Jewish 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.120 according to our traditions. So we see a lot more 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:12.040 inter faith marriages. Personally, I would say about fifty percent 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.800 of the people I marry are marrying somebody who's not Jewish, 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:18.360 But I always ask them to think of whether their 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.000 partner is Jewish adjacent, are they Jewish friendly? 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:22.120 Are they Jewish connected? 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:25.080 And in those cases they tend to be supporters of 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.480 this idea of marrying somebody for another faith. 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:29.680 Lee, Are you finding that as well? And I know 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:33.600 you spent time in California in Colorado as well, you 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.840 know you think of those typical kind of liberal areas. 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:38.080 Are you finding that? 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:44.040 I agree, I second everything that Rabbi Josh said. There's 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:49.480 much more, especially in the more liberal Jewish streams, willingness 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:54.800 to not just accept in our faith coupled in our 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:59.400 faith marriages, but to do so in a way that's 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:03.360 really welcome, not just accepting, but embracing of. And I 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:08.440 would agree easily half the couples that I interact with 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:13.520 that are looking for someone to officiate their wedding, our 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.960 inner faith couples and not just inner faith couples that 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:21.200 are looking to be married in a Jewish setting by 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:25.640 a rabbi, but as so far as for a rabbi 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:29.320 to co officiate at times with a non Jewish clergy member. 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:31.680 And that's even the next step. And so that's a 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:34.560 big conversation of what does it look like to not 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.600 just have a Jewish home, but for truly an inter 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:41.640 faith home. And that becomes a little bit more controversial 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.920 and a little bit more talked about. But I'm absolutely 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:44.800 seeing it more and more. 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:48.000 That's good. It's you know, as I say told my cousin, 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:52.200 you know, I said, look, and my grandparents, as devout 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:56.040 as they were in Judaism, they were so welcoming of 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.679 everyone in our house. And as my grandmother would say, 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.120 love it spoken here. So if you know, if you're 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.560 a good citizen, a good person like you're, you're welcome here. 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:08.920 And they would visit with you know, nuns and priests 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.000 and and they they really had an open mind, which 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.880 was pretty amazing considering, you know, the fifties and sixties 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.240 and seventies when they were you know, so high in 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:32.719 the temple. This show, what's interesting with the show is 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:34.640 that it's a little different. We take it to another 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:39.560 another level, which is the rabbi himself. First of all, 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:43.760 have we seen a rabbi this hip and cool? Do 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.160 we do we run across this at all at Temple 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.600 as Adam Brody. Maybe not as handsome as Adam Brody, 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:50.480 but you know what I mean. 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.960 I mean, of course, Leah and I we're we're those 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:55.040 cool rabbis. 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:55.720 That's what Josh. 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.480 You are stunningly handsome in your own kind of Marlborough 0:09:58.520 --> 0:09:59.240 man kind of way. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:09:59.680 Yeah. 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:02.720 I mean, look, this is the joy of the show 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:04.640 is that he's, as they call. 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:05.480 Him, the hot rabbi. 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.040 And I mean, I'll tell you a story from when 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:09.040 I first came to Temple. 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:11.079 It was my very first high Holidays. 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.080 I walked into the sanctuary wearing my robes, went up 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.000 onto the beama, onto the podium. My wife was walking 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.839 in behind, and there was a mom who said to 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:21.880 her daughter, Oh, look the rabbi. 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:22.880 He's hot. 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:26.160 And then the daughter turned to her and said, oh, 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:27.640 he's the rabbi mom. 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:31.640 Leah. 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:34.559 What do you think about how they have portrayed Adam 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.160 Brody as this young, hip, cool rabbi. 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:37.920 Listen. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:41.600 I think that it's not just the hot rabbi. I 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:45.720 think they're portraying him as a relatable rabbi. I think 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:52.000 that there's the misconception that rabbis look or talk or 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:56.640 act a certain way. But as somebody who got ordained 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.520 from rabbinical school and started working as a rabbi, I 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:05.120 was twenty seven right when I started, there's something about 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.240 being a relatable rabbi that felt really important to me, 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:13.240 and that it's very clear that Adam Brodie's character is 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:17.800 also portraying, whether intentionally or not, right, we don't know 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:21.560 what he's actually thinking about it, but there's something It's 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:24.160 not just the hot rabbi, but it's the relatable rabbi 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.360 and the what we'll call as people describe as the 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.960 normal rabbi, right, that they're a person in addition to 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:34.360 a rabbi, and that that's something that he's showing. 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.760 So clearly, I'd be interested to know enough to, you know, someday, 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:39.480 would love to talk to the writer, the creator of 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.480 the show because as someone who did grew up around 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.440 the temple shout out to Temple Shalom in Dallas, as 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:50.240 someone who did I as a child, I remember the 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:56.640 prototypical stereotypical rabbi elder, you know, the the slow speaking 0:11:56.720 --> 0:12:03.319 Hebrew and the low, you know, base voice. But I'd 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.600 be interesting to know if that was intentional because there 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:10.240 is a movement. I've seen that in at Temple Shalom 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.400 as well, where there's a young female rabbi and things 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.600 are I hate to use the word hip, but maybe 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.840 modern and revised and Leah, I don't know if you've 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.000 seen that elsewhere in the country, but it seems like 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.600 there is that movement which is wonderful to see, and 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.719 maybe that's what they were actually trying to capture in 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:27.240 this show. 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:28.760 One hundred percent. 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:30.839 I think about to be honest with my own friends, 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:35.640 my friends from rabbinical school, that are if we're out 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.199 and not right at work or at some professional obligation, 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.600 that you wouldn't know we were a group of rabbis, right. 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:47.760 Like one of my favorites is, you know what it 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:51.440 means for the rabbi in the show to go to 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:53.840 a bar on Friday night after services, And I have 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.760 certainly gone to a bar on Friday night after services, 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:58.640 and that feels like a very normal thing for me. 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.720 Right that sometimes Friday night means working a Shabbot service 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.760 and then going to a shabat dinner, but sometimes it 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:06.760 means working a Shabad service and then going out with 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.240 my friends after and either of those are very normal 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:11.080 Friday nights for me. 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:12.480 Wait, you're human. 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.120 It's right, It's. 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.760 It's about being a human, a young human, and a 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:22.360 young human living in a vibrant city with a nightlife 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.360 and with a social life. And what that looks like 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:29.280 is something that felt made his character feel so relatable 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:33.559 to me and like a humanizing aspect of the Rabbinant. 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.319 And Josh we mentioned about, you know, kind of the 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.200 modern take. You know, depending on again on what temple 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:44.480 you go to and your particular proclivities and what you think. 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:48.920 But more and more you're seeing people date outside their religion. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:53.280 But what about a rabbi. What if one of you 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.680 were interested in a you know, she's agnostic in the 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.000 in the show, but say Catholic, could be Episcopal, could 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:04.680 be anything. How would that be looked upon at temple. 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:09.079 It's such a complex question because it obviously depends on 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:09.920 the circumstance. 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:11.880 I think it happens. 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.520 There are rabbis out there, single rabbis who are dating, 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:19.400 and maybe some of them are finding love with somebody 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:23.360 who's outside of the faith. The question is actually both 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.160 how the congregational would respond, which I think is always 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:27.840 going to be bad at first. 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:29.280 Right, it's going to be controversial, it's. 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:33.120 Going to be a scandal, and then how does the 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:35.360 rabbi deal with it? How does the rabbi bring that 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:38.240 person into the community. And quite frankly, it's hard to 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.800 imagine somebody wanting to date the rabbi that wouldn't be 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:45.240 at least interested in learning more about the faith. 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.160 And that to me is ultimately the answer. 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.640 If the rabbi is going to bring someone from outside 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.160 of the faith into Jewish tradition and into the congregational 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:57.520 life and they want to deal with us as the rabbi, welcome, I'm. 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:58.040 Glad they're there. 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:02.080 And Leah, one thing that is very real that also 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.200 they hit this note well, is the coconut telegraph at Temple. 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:10.360 The Jewish community. Word gets out and gets around. 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:15.480 Quickly, So I would add to that first of course, 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:19.800 gets around quickly. And there's no hiding when you're dating. 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:24.000 Somebody knew at the beginning of when I started working 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:27.120 at my current synagogue, I wasn't in a relationship. 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:27.920 I was dating. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:32.640 And it's very real that when you tell somebody you 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.640 are a rabbi and you're dating. And I was living 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.000 in New Jersey, but just adjacent to New York City. 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:39.640 I was living just across the river, so I was 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.680 dating in New York and in the New York area. 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.160 When you tell somebody you are a rabbi, whether they're 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:49.520 Jewish or not, that immediately either draws them in or 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:51.400 it pushes them away, and you don't have to get 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.880 further past what do you do for work? 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:55.400 Oh, I'm a rabbi. 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.240 It weeds people out that have no interest in dating 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:00.680 a rabbi, and so. 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.520 Is it a I would agree with Rabbi Josh. 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:08.960 When he says that somebody has to want to date 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.800 a rabbi, or be at least be willing to engage 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.920 in the Jewish faith if they're willing to say yes 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:19.720 to a second, third, fourth date with somebody who's a rabbi. 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.760 I would also say that no matter who the person is, 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:27.120 that again, people talk. The synagogue talks. The first time 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:32.040 you bring them to a synagogue event, everybody is going 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:35.400 to be talking. I've experienced that firsthand more than once. 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.280 It's your red carpet. I remember my own wife Lauren. 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.440 It's like, okay, we're going red carpet official tonight. Get 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.720 like here, you have that conversation. That is y'all's version 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:47.960 of red carpet official yep. 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.040 And when I the first time I brought my now 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:54.200 husband to the synagogue and I had to okay his outfit. 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.320 I had to tell him who to look out for, 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.120 what sort of things to talk about, what sort of 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:03.800 things were off to talk about, prepared answers to hot 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:08.040 questions he might get. So it really is there. Somebody 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.320 has to want to do all of that in order 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:11.800 to get to that point. 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:15.280 Yeah, Josh, the kids call it the hard launch. That's 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:17.160 one thing in the show. I don't think they hit 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.800 that hard enough of like the hard launch would have 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.960 been as a rabbi, especially an aspiring rabbi. He was 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:25.639 looking to become the head rabbi, he would have been 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:29.240 a little more thoughtful about the hard launch. 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:30.200 For sure. 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.080 But it's not just about introducing a dating partner. It's 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.240 the fact that people are watching us all the time. 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.320 They are watching what we eat, they are watching where 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.360 we live, they're watching. 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:43.600 How we act. 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:45.600 I cannot tell you the number of times that I 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.399 have made mistakes of not recognizing that somebody was watching me, 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.879 and it could be disastrous depending on what the circumstance 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:56.240 is I can't tell you all the stories because it'll. 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:57.919 Be the last day of my career. But you know 0:17:58.440 --> 0:17:59.320 there are stories to. 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:03.000 Be told about people seeing us behaving maybe not the 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.159 way you would think a rabbi should behave. 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.800 No one looks good eating linguini. Don't worry about it. 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.280 There's no there's no really pretty way to eat spaghetti. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.760 What I also liked about the show Nobody Wants This 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.000 and Adam Broding's character is the layers to it, all, right, 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.480 there's the emotional, there's love, and then there is the 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:36.960 aspiration of it's a business decision. You know we think of, 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:40.120 you know, people of God, rabbis, priests, whatever it's like. Well, 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:45.040 they also are trying to ascend, not just metaphorically, they're 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.760 also you know, literally trying to ascend and become a 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:50.919 leader of bigger congregation and take over a synagogue. And 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.359 so I like that they also touch on his career 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:55.840 aspirations because that's real. 0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:59.720 It's it's really a huge part of the story. 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:03.320 And I'm glad you mentioned it because there are two 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.560 pieces to me that are equal opposites. One is the 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:09.119 scenes at the summer camp where he's trying to be 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.040 cool with the kids, and she's trying. 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:11.639 To be cool with the kids. 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.200 And quite frankly, a lot of my career was working 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:16.840 with teenagers, trying to be cool with the kids. But 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.360 the double edged sort of that is that in being 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:21.440 cool with the kids, you might say something do something 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.360 that's inappropriate. You know, there's actually a great story from 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:26.480 when I was younger. 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:28.119 I thought it was the cool Rabbi. 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.800 I'm taking trips to Israel and around the country with 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:33.359 our teenagers, and I was playing a game where you 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:37.199 actually replace the word one word of a movie title 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:39.600 with genitalia. 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:40.360 Part oh boy, oh boy. 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:43.439 It's great fun until I came home and one of 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.240 the parents was waiting to talk to me about the 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:46.680 game that I had played with their child. 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.840 Right, So, people, on one hand, I want to move 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:51.600 up in my career. On the other hand, I want. 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:54.960 To be cool and hip and engaging, and they don't 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:55.760 always match. 0:19:56.960 --> 0:20:01.679 Leah as a younger rabbi feel that part of the show. 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:02.960 Did you relate to that? 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:09.119 Yeah, I think there is the balance of being like 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:13.480 young and cool and being who I'll say, being who 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:15.439 you are, right, it's not who you are at that 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:20.439 current point in your life. Right for me, at the 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:23.359 current stage I am in my life, I'm very different 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:29.840 in my personal life than how I am then maybe 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:33.600 what I'll be right twenty years down the line. But 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:36.560 I have to be thinking about where I want to 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:40.920 be twenty years down the line in making the decisions 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.879 that I do now to reach that point in my career. 0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:44.480 Right. 0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:47.040 So I think he very much is balancing it, and 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:50.240 you see him having a really hard time with balancing 0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:53.399 that because he's thinking about where he currently is and 0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:57.600 dating and in this relationship, and he wants to be 0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:01.439 in the moment of now of being with this woman 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:04.439 who's not Jewish but who he's really having fun with 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:08.760 and who he's really starting to potentially fall in love with. 0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:11.879 And he's thinking about that in the now, but in 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:14.960 the back of his mind he has, oh, where am 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:17.119 I trying to be? And for him it's not twenty 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.080 years for him, it's maybe a year or two, and 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:23.920 knowing that that might not line up. And so it's 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:26.640 a very real thing to say, where do I want 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:31.119 to be in five, ten, fifteen, twenty years in my 0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:34.560 rabbinic career? But where am I right now? And how 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:37.600 do those things blend together and how can I keep 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:40.480 them separate? And he's really showing that. 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:43.199 I want to play and I won't pick either one 0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:45.000 of you. So jump in if you have an answer 0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:47.639