1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:05,279 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what is up coming? We're talking heartbreak. 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 1: I went through a little bit of a breakup. Some 3 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 1: would call it a divorce. That's the voice of comedian 4 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: Britt Meggs performing at our latest Boys Over Live show 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: in New York last December. The theme of the night 6 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:22,079 Speaker 1: was heartbreak. Why I need you to picture this for 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: me in your mind. It was Super Bowl weekend. Okay. 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: On Friday, I got laid off from my job, and 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: by Sunday I was getting a divorce. Someone was in 10 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: her flop era okay, and so much about this was devastating. 11 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: But the worst part is I missed Rihanna's halftime show. 12 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: That one okay, yeah, I will never get that live 13 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: performance back. Another thing I will never get back my 14 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: Chase credit card points. We had just booked a beautiful, 15 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: romantic trip to Bali on my credit card points because 16 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: it's mine as yours. Baby. Cut to me crying on 17 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: the phone with the customer service agent, begging her to 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: refund me. She was like, ma'am, these are non refundable. 19 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: I was like, do you know how long it took 20 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: me to accrue those points? Longer than I knew him. 21 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: Today we're getting the full story of BRIT's marriage, divorce, 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: and reentry to dating. I'm hopewordered and welcome to Boysover, 23 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: a space where we're learning and unlearning. All the myths 24 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: were taught about love and relationships. We were married a 25 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: really long time seven and a half. Kim Kardashian Chris 26 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: Huphrey's mariages, you're doing the math and you're head it's 27 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: a year and a half. No, Whenever I tell people that, 28 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: they're always like, oh my god, how did that happen? 29 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: Which I know really means like, how do I make 30 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: sure that doesn't happen to me? And that's so fair, 31 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: But I like to give all couples the same advice. 32 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: You know, communication is key. You really get to ask 33 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: for what you want in your relationship to be fair. 34 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: I did ask him that the cheat on me, but 35 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:17,119 Speaker 1: we all know men in directions, right. Take me back 36 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: to like the very first moment y'all met. So we 37 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: met at a Yankees game. So cute, yeah, cute until 38 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:30,519 Speaker 1: it's not, but yeah cute. He was a friend basically 39 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: of my sister's now husband. Okay, from childhood they were like, 40 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: do not date this man? Okay, So they weren't setting 41 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: you up? Okay, they were like he is bad news. Yeah, 42 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: he runs through women. You don't want this. And I've 43 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: never been like, oh I need a bad boy or 44 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 1: anything like that. I just wasn't. I didn't want to listen, Okay, 45 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 1: I just I was at a point in my life 46 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 1: where I was like dating a lot and he was 47 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: really charming and really nice to me at a time 48 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: when I think that a lot of guys were not, 49 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: and so I got locked in. Yeah, if he was 50 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: kind of someone who people warned you about, tell me 51 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 1: sort of how it grew. Yeah. I think I was 52 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: someone who had been maybe jealous in previous relationships and 53 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: was trying to work on that. So I was like, no, 54 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: I'm fine, like chill, I'm a chill girl. I can trust, 55 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: I don't care, you know whatever. And so but then 56 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: things just started happening, and it's like, I hate to 57 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: even admit that from the start I should have seen 58 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: the red flags, but I keep saying I was like 59 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: a victim of bad timing. I was twenty five. All 60 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: of my friends and I'm sure maybe you can relate from 61 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: the South, but like we're getting married and having babies 62 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: and starting to do all these things. And I think 63 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: he caught me at such a good time to like 64 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: get his fangs in and a vulnerable time. Yes, a 65 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: vulnerable time. I also was working a job where I 66 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: was working exclusively nice since I really have time to date. 67 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: It was this whole thing. But yeah, from the start, 68 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: he was definitely a little bit of a flirt and 69 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: he really liked the attention of women. And I was like, well, 70 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: that's not gonna be good for my mental health. But 71 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: you know, he was like you you always want to 72 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: be like the one that changes them. And he's like, 73 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: you changed me, you made me a better person, blah 74 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: blah blah. And so he was always working on stuff. 75 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: I was the first person that ever got him into therapy. 76 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: How did that make you feel getting him into therapy 77 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: for the first time? Were you like I've done it? 78 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: Like was there like a sneaky sort of like pride? Yeah, 79 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: you know, like so many people can't get a guy 80 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: into therapy. I'm like all the older dudes in my life, 81 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: like my father figures like they'll never go to therapy, right, 82 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: So I'm like, if I can fix this guy, I 83 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: can do anything. I can do anything. Yeah, okay, So 84 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: were you all starting therapy together or separate? No, okay, separate. 85 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: I was like, you need to you have some demons. 86 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: And I think he also was great at admitting it 87 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: and writing a beautiful love letter. He was a letter writer. 88 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: He would always be like these long apology letters. I'm 89 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 1: gonna be different, I'm gonna change whatever. So that also 90 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: manipulated me. But yeah, you know, I was having fun 91 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: and we'd build this life together. We had a dog together. 92 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: It was like it was a whole thing. When were 93 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: like the first moments you were suspecting cheating. I think 94 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: we were a year and a half dating. I always 95 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: found stuff accidentally, but I found him procuring a sex worker. 96 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: How did you find it? I was using his iPad 97 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: for something. Yeah, and I should have run. And I 98 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: tried to break up with him and he wouldn't let me. 99 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: And I know that sounds crazy. I so get it. 100 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 1: I have free will. No. I tried to break up 101 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: with a guy like a month ago, and he was like, 102 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: I don't think this is over yet, and I was like, okay, 103 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: they're like actually no, okay, so keep going, keep going whatever. 104 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: That was really bad. He was like, oh, no, do 105 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: anything like that again, and I think I was like, okay, 106 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: lesson learned. He's like, you're the one I want to 107 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 1: I see my life with like all this stuff. And again, 108 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: we're at this age where people are starting to do that. 109 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: What were your friends and family telling you, because surely 110 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,039 Speaker 1: you were seeking counsel. So I did a really good 111 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: job of hiding things from everyone, including my therapist. I 112 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: was yeah, because I knew what their answer would be. 113 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: I knew they would be like, get out. I told 114 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: one friend about that indiscretion. She's like my no judgment friend, 115 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: the type of friend who would like bury a body with. Yes, 116 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: I could tell her like, hey, I'm rider someone to 117 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 1: be like, okay, well figured it out right. And I 118 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: told her and she was like, Okay, I really don't 119 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: like that. This is a hard one to condone. Yeah, 120 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: but like asked the detail, like, oh, did it result 121 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: in anything? It didn't. He he was procuring the sex 122 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: worker for a friend the groom on a bachelor party. 123 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: I'm like it made just enough sense that my brain 124 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: was like, okay, yeah, we'll just excuse that. And you 125 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: probably wanted to believe him. Yeah, yeah, Like I was 126 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: in love, which is the sad thing. I think, you know, 127 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 1: you start making excuses. But yeah, he was very good 128 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: at towing the line and not going all the way 129 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: there where I couldn't prove that he had like actually 130 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: kissed anyone or there is something that men really they 131 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: will do everything but and think that that sort of 132 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: like keeps them out of doing anything wrong. Yeah, but 133 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: it's like this all still counts, yeah, like and your 134 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: intent is there, so you know. Also during this time 135 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: he had kind of like a quarter life crisis. He 136 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: became a personal trainer. I don't know if you know. 137 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: It's not a great field of study for someone who 138 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: likes to cheat. You know. He had not disclosed to 139 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: me that one of his clients was someone he dated before, 140 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: and like things like that would always crap up. We'd 141 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: have a big blot fight about it. I would be 142 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: gas lit, told him crazy. He was a very stubborn 143 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: person and was like, I'm not going to change my 144 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: behavior to like make you feel better. That's so annoying 145 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: and manipulative. Yeah, So when did he ask you to 146 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: get married? This was right before the pandemic. It was 147 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: like February of twenty twenty, and he was so adverse 148 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: to the thought of marriage that I never brought it up. 149 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not really on a timeline for kids, 150 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: Like I'm a comedian, I'm doing all these things, so 151 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: i don't need to be married. So I was kind 152 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: of shocked, but I was like, wow, okay, he's really 153 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: serious about me. Yeah, this is good. I was obviously 154 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: like blown away. He proposed me a Yankee Stadium because 155 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: that's where we met off season, so there wasn't a game. 156 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:50,199 Speaker 1: But you know, yeah, whatever, thoughtful, thoughtful, all these things. 157 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, and now he's going to be 158 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: serious because he's married, because never in the history of 159 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: the world has a married man cheated. I feel like 160 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,959 Speaker 1: they also, though, like want to be different. Yeah, do 161 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, Like he probably I 162 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: am not making excuses for him, but probably there's a 163 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: piece of him who's like, gosh, I want to be 164 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: a guy that can be a husband. Gosh, I want 165 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: to be a guy that can be loyal totally, you know, 166 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: and like that's I do believe that. Because all of 167 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 1: his friends around him were getting married, getting houses in 168 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: the suburbs, having kids, all of these things, they were 169 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: not like him, right, he was always kind of the 170 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: bad boy of the group. Yeah, so he's seeing his 171 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 1: friends doing this, He's like, okay, it's my turn whatever. 172 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: Got engaged, started wedding planning in the pandemic, and we 173 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: ended up getting married August of twenty twenty one. But 174 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: before that I almost called it off. Okay, it's such 175 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 1: a weird thing to describe, but basically, like again, always 176 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: finding things by accident. On the fourth of July, I'm 177 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: with my family, uh huh. I use his phone to 178 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: take a photo of like my nieces and nephew's and 179 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: go to the albums, like going to look at it, 180 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: and I see an album of butts, just loose butts, okay, 181 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,679 Speaker 1: and I'm like, who's are they? I have no idea. 182 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: Turns out he's been like squirreling away photos of women 183 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 1: on Instagram in a way that I'm like, poor is 184 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: free totally. I don't know what's like. That's the thing. 185 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, I cannot get into the psyche of this man, right, 186 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: what was that for? No? Did you ask him? Oh? Yeah, 187 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: And he's like, I don't know, Like he has no answer. 188 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: He doesn't I didn't. I don't think he really knew 189 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: why he did. Some of the things he did, he 190 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: was very like and I mean this not in a 191 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: bad way, but kind of in a bad way. He's 192 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: like animalistic, like no impulse control, and it's just like 193 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: hot lady saving that. But I'm like out, save in folder, 194 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,079 Speaker 1: do not hide folder, give fiance phone. No, it wasn't 195 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,439 Speaker 1: in a hidden anything, right, it was just crazy. And 196 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: so I just had a moment where I was like, 197 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: who is this guy? I don't want to deal with 198 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: this kind of behavior when I'm even older, right, Like, 199 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: this is nuts. Okay, So it's fourth of July. You 200 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: find this on his phone, he is there with your family. Yeah, 201 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: what do you do? I will say, I have a 202 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: flair for the dramatics. Same. I go back to my 203 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: family and I go, we're gonna be taking a little break, 204 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: and they're like, your weddings in a month, what's happening? Yeah? 205 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: And I have you told them any of this yet 206 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: or had it been a secret? Still? It was no. Yeah, 207 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: they didn't know about the cheating stuff. Okay, no one did. 208 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: They just knew that he was a flirt, that we 209 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: they knew that we fought a lot. Uh huh. He 210 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: was a yeller got it. I grew up in a 211 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: house a yelling me too. Yeah. I also grew up 212 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: in a home with the flair for the dramatics. Okay, 213 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 1: I have to say never again, right, growing up with it, 214 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: and then having a partner he yells, I'm like, actually, 215 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: if you raise your voice at me, I'm out meeting. 216 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: No raising your voice. No, totally. So yeah, they knew 217 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: that stuff, but they were like, Okay, well we'll figure 218 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: it out. Like whatever. I think my mom knew in 219 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: the back of her head. And also, I'm a child 220 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: of divorce, so it wasn't like this is the worst 221 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,719 Speaker 1: thing in the world. But she came to me and 222 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: she's like, you gotta know if you really love him 223 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: and you can't picture life without him, and you want 224 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: to do this, And I was like, I think so, 225 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: Like you know, there's also so much going into it. 226 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, there's two hundred invitations sent, everyone's coming from 227 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: out of state. It's like all of this stuff. I'm like, 228 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: am I really going to cancel my wedding and then 229 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: tell people because of an album of butts? There's like 230 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: a hole and what's that about. It's like really embarrassing. 231 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 1: So I didn't. I didn't do it. But what also 232 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: really bothered me is I made him sleep out for 233 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: like that week to figure my stuff out, and I 234 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: made him sleep at his sister's house. And he was like, 235 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: by the way, me and my whole family think that 236 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 1: the punishment doesn't fit the crime, and they're like, it's 237 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: not cheating whatever. This would come into play later such 238 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: an annoying theme to me. It's not cheating. It's not cheating. 239 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: It's not cheating. It is it is like this you 240 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: can't define. Yeah. It's like if I feel betrayed, yeah, 241 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: and if I feel lied to, that's enough because that's 242 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: the hurt of cheating. Absolutely, just the act of whatever, 243 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: kissing or having sex. It's like you are manipulating me, right, Okay, 244 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: So you are about to get married. You're feeling the pressure. 245 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: You don't want to disappoint everyone, You don't want to 246 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: let it go. You go through with the wedding, and 247 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 1: go through the wedding. How is the wedding day? It 248 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: was awesome, Okay, totally. I had a fantastic Here's the thing. 249 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: I made a lot of mistakes wrong, groom loved my wedding, 250 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: but amazing wedding. I was on the dance for half 251 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: the time of my life, of course, but yeah, we 252 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: had a great wedding. Love loved it. Then fast forward 253 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: to like spring of that year, found out that he 254 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 1: had one of his clients over our apartment without telling me, 255 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: a woman. A woman found underwear in our car. No, yeah, 256 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: found a pair of underwear in our smart car, which 257 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: is our city car, nice compact. I'm like, how do 258 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 1: you even do anything in there? Why would you? I 259 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: don't know. Right, that was really when I was like, Okay, 260 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: I need to take stock in this. Truly. I was like, 261 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: I won't kick you out because I know how you 262 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: feel about that, but you're sleeping on the couch whatever. 263 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,320 Speaker 1: Still was like then I was like starting to alert 264 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: my parents to be like we might need to do something. 265 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: Still I stayed. Yeah, he had such a way with 266 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: words and such a way of like, I'm going to 267 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: prove myself to you. I'm going to write you a 268 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 1: love letter every day. I'm going to do this in 269 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: that whatever. He's you know, upping his therapy whatever. Fast 270 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: forward from now that's like April twenty twenty two to 271 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: now February of twenty twenty three. We're in Vermont. We're 272 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: on a ski trip. We'd always did a ski trip 273 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day, and he's like really really cagey and 274 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: scared and anxious. And finally when I was like, you 275 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 1: need to tell me what's going on, because you're being 276 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: insane and you're being weird, and his web of lies 277 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: was starting to it was like the credit card wasn't working. 278 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: He's mine and that's fine, like we're married, but so 279 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: many things were not making sense. I was like, you 280 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: are being so suspicious. You need to talk to me, 281 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: and he basically pulled over the car as we're driving 282 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: home from Vermont. He's like, I did something really bad, 283 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: and I think I should come clean. We do not 284 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: send out divorce announcements, right like we send out engagement announcements. 285 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: Save the dates, and then people send you a bunch 286 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: of gifts. But because of this, I kept running into 287 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: this very awkward situation. I would be at an event, 288 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: a party, at an acquaintance that hadn't seen in a while, 289 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: would come up to me and would be like, hey, 290 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: where is your husband? And I'd feel way worse for 291 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 1: her than I did for me, because I know the 292 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: foot is about to hit the back of her throat, 293 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: you know. But after it happened a couple times, I 294 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: was like, I should get to have a little fun 295 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: with this. So, you know, they'd be like, hey, where's 296 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 1: your husband. I'd be like, he is no longer with us, 297 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: which is not a lie, It just sounds really bad. 298 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: She'd be like, oh my god, what happened? Be like 299 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: he was involved in an accident. He accidentally sent photos 300 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: of his wiener to another lady. Now when I say lady, 301 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: I do mean a bot on Instagram. Oh yeah, baby, yes, 302 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: Svelana Pussy two thousand got my ass. Okay, the Russian bot. 303 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. You guys are so worried about AI taking 304 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: your jobs. You're worried about the wrong jobs. Okay. It 305 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: was Valentine's Day weekend and we're in Vermont. We're on 306 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: a ski trip. We'd always did a ski trip for 307 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. And he's like really really cagey and scared 308 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: and anxious, and he's talking to his friend a lot 309 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: that he always talks to. Finally, when I was like, 310 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: you need to tell me what's going on, because you're 311 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 1: being insane and you're being weird. I basically discovered that 312 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: he was exchanging nudes with a Russian bot, like unknowingly right, 313 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,879 Speaker 1: and I say Russian. I don't actually know what she was, 314 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: but you know those bots that are in your Instagram 315 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: dms that are like sexy time with me please, right? 316 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 1: He was like literally shet, Yeah, and I think that 317 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,199 Speaker 1: he thought of it as kind of a way to 318 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: just like get his rocks off, and yeah, it was 319 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: exchanging these nudes. Whatever she or whoever it was behind 320 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: the account threatened to send me my mom, his mom, 321 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: all of the receipts unless he sent her seven hundred 322 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,639 Speaker 1: dollars in iTunes gift cards, which, as we know, as 323 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 1: everyone's preferred mode of which is hysterical, like so random. 324 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, not a Venmo, not a twenty times Ay. Yeah, 325 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,719 Speaker 1: and he does it. He does goes out and he 326 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 1: does it. He does it. He's panicking and he buys 327 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars worth of iTunes gift cost cards and 328 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 1: then cancels his credit card. Wow. But his best friend, 329 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: I found out later, told him to throw away his 330 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 1: phone to try to say he was like hacked or something, 331 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, yeah, no, we don't have 332 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,640 Speaker 1: the cloud, Like, just throw away the whole phone. Just 333 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: toss it. That's how it works. Yeah, that's why you 334 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: get rid of evidence. I'm like men giving men advice. No, 335 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: truly blood like disgast her. Yeah, so you know, did 336 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: he try throwing his phone away? No? But he was 337 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: like I paid her. I canceled my credit card, I think, 338 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 1: and then I'll dispute that so that you know Chase 339 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: pays me back. Damn. Yeah. And I was like, oh 340 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: my god, I took my ring off. I was like, fuck, 341 00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: this this is over. He was not convinced though. I 342 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: got him out of the apartment this time, but he 343 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: was intent on coming back. He like gave me the 344 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: week I had in LA and he was like, I 345 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 1: can get some of my stuff. Came back, stuff was 346 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 1: still there. I was like, I was really serious about 347 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: you moving out. Finally his family came and moved him out. 348 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: His mom called me. She's a lawyer. She was like, 349 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: you know the legal definition of cheating stop. And I 350 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: was like, I was like, you can marry him then, 351 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: because I'm not. Yeah, but essentially, yes, this the bot 352 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: thing was the last straw. I was like, Okay, he's careless, 353 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: dumb cheating, like there's so many things that I'm like, 354 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,400 Speaker 1: I can't have a kid with this person. And so 355 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: they're grasping its straws and saying like, this isn't a 356 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: reason for divorce. You guys can work through this. You 357 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 1: should try to get counseling. We'd only been to a 358 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 1: couple therapists once. He didn't like it and we never 359 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,719 Speaker 1: went back. And they're like, you're you're giving up. And 360 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: one of my favorite lines is, you know, he told 361 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: me that because I'm from a family of divorce, a 362 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: broken family, that I give up easily. Hey good. I 363 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: think people should give up. Get up, give up, if 364 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: it's not working, get out, give up easily. I cannot 365 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 1: tell you let it go. My parents, my biological parents 366 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 1: are friends. Yes, because they got out before it got ugly. 367 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,120 Speaker 1: I never had to experience them screaming at each other 368 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 1: or I experienced other screaming, but you know that part 369 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: of it. I was like, my parents don't hate each 370 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 1: other totally, and that's cool, right, And so I'm like, yeah, 371 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 1: if this has happened, get out. Also, like I say, 372 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: get out before you have kids, you know. I was like, 373 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: this is this is my out I've got to go. Yeah, 374 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: I've got to get it. Some people get trapped. When 375 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: is the last time you talked to him? And how 376 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: did you leave? Things like did you feel like you 377 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: had closure? Did you get what you wanted from him? 378 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: Apology wise, I haven't spoken him since. Yeah, he said sorry, 379 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: and so many different ways and things like that. It 380 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,199 Speaker 1: was like, at that point, that's not even what I 381 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: was looking for. I think that the greatest gift was 382 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:12,360 Speaker 1: my freedom. Like I couldn't. I couldn't do it anymore, 383 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 1: Like there was no I was out of rationalizations. I 384 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 1: was like, if I were my friend and I am 385 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: a friend to myself, I would be like, are you 386 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: kidding me? Right? Like you cannot stay with this man anymore? 387 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: So I think the closure was like it's just ridiculous 388 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: at this point, it's too crazy, it's too ridiculous. I 389 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: couldn't like, oh, yeah, I'm telling the kids, our kids 390 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 1: like the story of our love, and this is insane. 391 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: It's like I do care about storytelling, of course, and 392 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is a bad story. I tell this way. Yeah, 393 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: I don't want this to be the ending? What and 394 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: I stay with you forever now? Yeah, Like no, I 395 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: was just like I can't and so I felt like 396 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: I got out of it. You know, I didn't need 397 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: that closure because I think I was the one doing 398 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: the closing totally. It's weird, like he was always like, 399 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 1: you're the one leaving me, and I'm like, but you 400 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 1: started it. How did you feel about yourself once it 401 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: was all done, Like did you feel like you were 402 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: sort of at the bottom of the mountain when it 403 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: comes to like healing or did you feel like you 404 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: had already done a lot of it and you had 405 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 1: released it? Where were you like mentally emotionally, I think 406 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: that this is what happens with a lot of I 407 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: shouldn't say women, but anyone who's maybe in a relationship 408 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 1: that is not working. They don't realize how checked out 409 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 1: they have been until it's over. And like, hm, I definitely, 410 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: I mean the amount of tears, like it was so 411 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,640 Speaker 1: so emotional for me, but it wasn't like I don't 412 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,640 Speaker 1: know who I am. I didn't lose like my sense 413 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 1: of self thankfully. Also for comedy, I think I had 414 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 1: such a strong like community and like this is what 415 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: I do every day, whereas maybe in my early twenties, 416 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 1: a breakup would have like put me on my ass. 417 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I had really like mentally 418 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: checked out a long time ago because because of all 419 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 1: of these things, he was misbehaving all the time. So 420 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: I think I was always waiting for the shoot to drop. 421 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: So then when it did, I was like, Okay, this 422 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 1: is kind of what I thought was gonna happen. You 423 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: want to I've been like doomsday prepping, sneaky. Yes, like 424 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,439 Speaker 1: I didn't even know it. But I've got like a 425 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: car full. There's like I had get away cases. I've 426 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: been in the trunk like I can go and I'm ready. Yeah. 427 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: I think I was gone before I really left. Getting 428 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: back into dating was really tough. You know, I'd been 429 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: out for a very long time. I was very rusty, 430 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 1: kind of had the sexual prouds of mister Bean. You know. 431 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: I did ultimately start hooking up with an Australian guy, 432 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: bre and he was uncircumcised, and I thought it'd be 433 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: kind of cute and funny if when he took it out, 434 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: I was like, crakey, this one's go to sleeve. He 435 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: did not love that. Afterwards, I did start dating women woo. Yes, 436 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: the g and LGBTQ stands for get divorced, all right, 437 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: glad won't tell you that, but I will getting back 438 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,239 Speaker 1: into dating. How did that feel? Were you excited? I 439 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,959 Speaker 1: was a little excited, just because I was in this 440 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: very like I'm gonna be single, it's gonna be fun 441 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: and nothing serious. Let me just see what there is 442 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: to see, and you know, had some fun dating. But 443 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: I was very excited also because I had not really 444 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 1: been able to explore it queer dating beforehand. So I 445 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: was excited to like hit all options on a dating 446 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: app that was fun and new. Yeah, and before you 447 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: got married him, were you queer? Yes? So I had 448 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 1: technically come out when I was like twenty four twenty five, 449 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: but in a very very subtle way that I was 450 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 1: just like, well, i'm by. I don't know if I 451 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,199 Speaker 1: need to like go home and sit down my parents 452 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, totally, you need to know something. 453 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,159 Speaker 1: Do I really need to let them know? Yeah? I 454 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: don't know if I need to have that moment. And 455 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: so that led to unfortunately, like when I came out 456 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,239 Speaker 1: for real, I guess after this, there was a lot 457 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: of like wait, what right? People were kind of shocked, 458 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: Why do you think that is. I think because I 459 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 1: was known when I was younger as boy crazy. Yeah, 460 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: but not that I'm ancient. I don't know. I'm a millennial, 461 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 1: and the time I grew up in I don't think 462 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 1: there was any representation of like different bisexuality or queerness 463 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: or like you can like boys and you can also 464 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: like girls. Yeah, also like anything you know, Right, I 465 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 1: didn't see that, so I didn't know it was an option. Right. 466 00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: But then you look back and you go into your 467 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,200 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, yeah, some patterns. There were some things. 468 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: Oh I was stealing my mom's the Tory Secret catalogs. Right, 469 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:13,399 Speaker 1: that's interesting, right, why was that happening? But yeah, so, 470 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 1: I mean that was the whole thing, the coming out 471 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: of it all because I had I did I It's 472 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: a lot of transforming a lot, and I got divorced 473 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 1: and came out in the same year. Basically, Okay, Yeah, 474 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 1: when did you feel like you were ready to date again? 475 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: Was it like immediately or I almost immediately went out 476 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: and made out with someone Because I wanted to prove 477 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 1: to myself that I could feel love totally or lust again. 478 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: It was like important for me to like go out 479 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,560 Speaker 1: dancing with my friends and have a makeout like very 480 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: soon after, just to be like, Okay, that got that 481 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,159 Speaker 1: one off, right. I know that I can do this right. 482 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: I know it because it had been six years. We 483 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: were only married a year and a half, but we 484 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 1: were together six that's insane. Yeah, this is a personal question. No, totally. 485 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 1: How was y'all sex life by the end of it? Like, 486 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: were you able to like even kiss him? Because I 487 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 1: have friends who are married and they'll talk to me 488 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: about their sex life problems, and I'm like, do y'all 489 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,640 Speaker 1: even kiss? Like do you keep going on? Last time 490 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 1: you made out simply? Yeah, Like we don't even need 491 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 1: to talk about sex right now. We just need to 492 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,439 Speaker 1: talk about graising hands. Yeah, you know. No, it's so 493 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: how was that for y'all? Towards the end the issues 494 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,360 Speaker 1: are coming up. I was talking about it in therapy 495 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,199 Speaker 1: and my therapist basically was like, I don't think that 496 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 1: your body feels safe with this person, and that's why 497 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: you're not excited to jump into bed with him. And 498 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: I think that that was it was. Yeah, our sex 499 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: was infrequent. I think he certainly wished that there were 500 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: more of it. Yeah, we also had really different schedules. Yeah, 501 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: I was coming home late at night. He was waking 502 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: up early in the morning. Also, like, besides all the 503 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,360 Speaker 1: cheating stuff, was starting to not be super jazzed with 504 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 1: my comedy life. Was like, you're staying out really late. 505 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:04,919 Speaker 1: You're a married woman, And I was like, is it 506 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,880 Speaker 1: the fifties? Hello? Hello, don't think marriage came with a curfew? 507 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,840 Speaker 1: Weird no, weird sing. And also it's like, you're the 508 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,199 Speaker 1: one who I've caught six different times. Literally, I'm a saint. 509 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,679 Speaker 1: I get to stay out like a gonna say it 510 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: with mostly gay people that are like not trying to 511 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,439 Speaker 1: whatever right. I guess a lot of people probably have 512 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 1: a lot of fear, and I feel like, from an 513 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: outsider's perspective, you were able to trust kind of quickly. 514 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 1: I guess yes, in a way that like I want 515 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 1: to tell people even if someone has completely ruined your 516 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 1: trust in other humans, I think that the right person 517 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: won't make you feel bad or suspicious or I like 518 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: I always thought like maybe I'm a jealous person, and 519 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: then when you're with the right person, you're like, no, 520 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: actually that person was making me insane. Yeah, yeah, those 521 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: were actually just alarms going off in my head for 522 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: everything's a smoke alarm that's in my head. Something is happening, right. 523 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 1: You don't need to feel like that, Yeah, totally constantly 524 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: looking over your shoulder. I was not ready for something serious, 525 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: or did not go in with that intention. I met 526 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,959 Speaker 1: my current partner at a comedy show fellow comic content creator. 527 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: I had had like an online crush on them, ended 528 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: up going on a date, have been together ever since. Wow, 529 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: my partner has since transition, So I'm now dating a transman, 530 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,719 Speaker 1: which is just a man with empathy. That's what that is. 531 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: It's really awesome and it's like the healthiest, best relationship 532 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 1: I've ever been and it's so so awesome. But of 533 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 1: course everyone was insane about it when it first happened. 534 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: My mom actually was really really crazy and she asked 535 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: me kind of the craziest thing you could ask someone 536 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: who gets into a queer relationship, and that is if 537 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:58,080 Speaker 1: I was gonna miss Dick. Yeah, you thought the Birds 538 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: and the Beast conversation was bad. I had a decision 539 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: to make in that moment. I could explain the concept 540 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: of a strap on to my mom or I could lie, 541 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 1: So I lied. I did not expect that to happen, 542 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: but we just fell so quickly and so hard. And 543 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 1: then we did do the kind of like lesbian U haul. Yeah, 544 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: like his lease was up and I had my apartment 545 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: that needed a second get in here person, Hey my 546 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: rent with me please Yeah, and so it just worked 547 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,480 Speaker 1: out and so we moved in like six months after 548 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: who So yeah, like that was definitely fast. But also 549 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 1: we put in all these guardrails where we had like 550 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: lots of long talks about hey, I just got out 551 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: of something really serious. If this ends poorly, we will 552 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: just go separate. Wait, like you know, we were prepared 553 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,959 Speaker 1: for this could end poorly, but hopefully it won't. And 554 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 1: now here we are like almost three years later. So 555 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: that's so crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. What Yeah, I'm like, 556 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 1: what is your advice to people when they come to 557 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: you and they're like, my life is over and now 558 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: you're sort of in this. I mean all relationships like 559 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: come with their stuff regardless of how but like you're 560 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: in something that feels and sounds secure and encouraging. Like, yeah, 561 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 1: what's your advice to people on someone who's looking to 562 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: get there? I am just like team don't settle. I 563 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 1: think also a lot of this stuff online. You'll see 564 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: these these married couples and they're like, marriage is hard 565 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: and it's strungle every day, and I'm like, get divorced, 566 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: like you get out of there. Leave. So your kind 567 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 1: of advice to people is like like leave and they 568 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: relase there will be a parachute. I swear to god, 569 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,479 Speaker 1: I'm so of that mindset. And I know that I 570 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 1: am privileged because it happened for me so quickly. But 571 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 1: I am just like, oh my god, there is a 572 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: person for you that won't make you feel crazy, that 573 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,720 Speaker 1: won't raise their voice to you, that won't punch holes 574 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,239 Speaker 1: in drywall, that won't do all of these things. And 575 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,959 Speaker 1: you don't have to make excuses for someone. And I 576 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: do think, hey, we disagree, we have disagreements, but love 577 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: should be easy. Yes, I don't think it should be hard. 578 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: You should like hanging out with each other. Yeah, you 579 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,680 Speaker 1: should kind of just like each other. You should that's 580 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 1: your buddy. Like I am always like, my favorite part 581 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: of going to like a bar party or something is 582 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: that I get to go home and goof off on 583 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 1: movies with him. Totally. It doesn't need to be hard. 584 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people want to think like 585 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 1: and relationships have challenges and it's like, yeah, they do, 586 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: but you meet them together. My last question, yeah, is 587 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: tell me one thing you've had to unlearn about love. 588 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: I think that I grew up thinking like yelling at 589 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 1: each other and fighting and I don't know, like not 590 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 1: feeling fully supported was the norm, and then got into 591 00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 1: a relationship that reflected that, where I was yelled at 592 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: and lying, cheating or whatever. That's also terrible. I think 593 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 1: that I thought, like, it's normal to get in a 594 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: lot of fights and be crying and that's okay, Yeah, 595 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 1: because it comes it that loves with it, that's love, 596 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: loves loves work. I'm like, no, Like, you might have 597 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: money problems that you guys deal with together and that 598 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 1: is a challenge, but that's not you guys at each 599 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 1: other's throats, like, let it be easy, Let it be easy, 600 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: have fun, have fun, lead with fun. Yes, that's what 601 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 1: I'm trying to do. Yes see, I love that huge. 602 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 1: Thanks to Britt for sharing her story with us, and honestly, 603 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: thank you to that Russian bot for making Britt realize 604 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 1: she had to leave that man. Britt is adapting this 605 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,239 Speaker 1: story into a special called Dolphin Mode for updates on 606 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 1: when that's coming out. Be sure to check out her 607 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 1: website brittmigs dot com or follow her on Instagram and 608 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: TikTok at Brittymigs. That's b R I T C Y 609 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 1: M I GGS. Thanks for listening and I'll talk to 610 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:21,799 Speaker 1: y'all next week. Boy Sover is a production of iHeart Podcasts. 611 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:26,720 Speaker 1: I'm your host Hopewordard. Our executive producers are Christina Everett 612 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff. Our 613 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:37,360 Speaker 1: assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser and 614 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:42,320 Speaker 1: mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked this episode, 615 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,320 Speaker 1: please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review, 616 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,719 Speaker 1: and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 617 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,800 Speaker 1: and wherever you get your favorite shows.