Speaker 1: Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Hi everyone, I'm LeAnn Rhymes and this is
Speaker 1: a very new, and to be really real with you,
Speaker 1: very freaking scary thing for me to do this podcasting
Speaker 1: because even though some of you may know me because
Speaker 1: of my singing voice or what you think you know
Speaker 1: of me because of the voice others have given to
Speaker 1: my story, this podcast is me at my most vulnerable
Speaker 1: and my hope is that this podcast allows you to
Speaker 1: hear my truest voice and to hear it from my
Speaker 1: mouth and my heart, and to share with you what
Speaker 1: I have learned and am still learning during all these
Speaker 1: years of trying to make sense of all the complexities
Speaker 1: of this insane human experience. I hope together we can
Speaker 1: find a sense of healing, a greater connectivity to ourselves
Speaker 1: into the world, and from me to you and you
Speaker 1: to me. So with that welcome to Wold Humor indeed
Speaker 1: word sing that you sing in me, I will admit
Speaker 1: I have had a pretty fucked up unusual life, truly.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the only way I know how to
Speaker 1: explain it. Um. You know, I started performing at the
Speaker 1: age of five. I won my first Grammy at fourteen,
Speaker 1: which I don't talk about very often. That feels even
Speaker 1: weird to say that doesn't even feel like me Anyway,
Speaker 1: I did win my first Grammy at fourteen, and I've
Speaker 1: basically lived my whole entire life, every up and down,
Speaker 1: every high and low, every success, and every mistake has
Speaker 1: been laid out there for the whole world to witness
Speaker 1: and have an opinion on. From so many years of
Speaker 1: being in the public eye and being a quote unquote
Speaker 1: celebrity and leanne rhymes, I have felt incredibly fragmented from
Speaker 1: trying to be everything that everyone wanted me to be.
Speaker 1: There was so much deep pain from feeling disconnected on
Speaker 1: a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual level from myself and others,
Speaker 1: and to be really honest, from my humanity. So at
Speaker 1: an incredibly dark point in my life, I started following
Speaker 1: my heart and asking for help, and I began exploring
Speaker 1: the depths of my humanity and my spirit. I feel
Speaker 1: like once we start out on this journey, it's one
Speaker 1: that last for a lifetime, and there's so much information
Speaker 1: and wisdom to digest, But the greatest wisdom we will
Speaker 1: ever find is within. However, there are many great teachers
Speaker 1: and wonderfully wise humans to help guide us along this
Speaker 1: sacred journey and trigger moments of remembrance of what it
Speaker 1: means to feel whole and to remind us of our
Speaker 1: great connection to our holy and our human And that
Speaker 1: is what I'm wanting to share with you on this podcast,
Speaker 1: because I believe that we are all worthy of knowing
Speaker 1: and creating a life from the truth of who we are.
Speaker 1: I am a very complex human being. We all are.
Speaker 1: And the more I've tried to run away from fragments
Speaker 1: that might not fall under the heading of quote unquote good, Uh,
Speaker 1: the more fragments that I've become. And so really it's
Speaker 1: my journey, and I think all of our journeys are
Speaker 1: to reclaim both sides of the light and the dark
Speaker 1: in order to be able to come back to wholeness.
Speaker 1: That's what this podcast is all about, is the holy human?
Speaker 1: Um W h O L O Y and h O
Speaker 1: L Y Is that right? Yeah? By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: horrible at spelling, will learn that as we go along.
Speaker 1: Good thing that I have spell check. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: this it's about reclaiming both sides because that is what
Speaker 1: we are. We are so holy and we are also
Speaker 1: very human, and when we deny one part of that,
Speaker 1: when we deny one side of that coin, is when
Speaker 1: everything falls apart, we're not ever completely holy and we're
Speaker 1: not ever only human. How beautiful is that? And our humanity?
Speaker 1: I think we've a lot of us have been taught
Speaker 1: by religion the duality of good and bad, that there's
Speaker 1: a side of us, there's a piece of us that
Speaker 1: we cannot claim, we should not claim, should not claim
Speaker 1: that we've had to hide underneath the covers and never
Speaker 1: allow out. And there's only freedom and being able to
Speaker 1: give life to all of you, all of your emotions,
Speaker 1: all of your energies, I mean, really, that's all that.
Speaker 1: They are different forms of energy taking on this human form.
Speaker 1: And so when we suppress those energies at any moment,
Speaker 1: that's depression, that's anxiety. We really stunt our growth in
Speaker 1: our forward movement of energy with fear. And that's what
Speaker 1: this episode is about. Fucking fear, Oh fear. So the
Speaker 1: reason that I wanted to start with the topic of
Speaker 1: fear as the first episode is because I'm fucking terrified.
Speaker 1: I'm terrified of starting this podcast. I'm terrified of myself.
Speaker 1: Where we talking about honestly. Um, I think there's actually
Speaker 1: really there's a lot of honesty and that I was
Speaker 1: thinking about this this morning. I think, not only are
Speaker 1: we afraid of totally fucking up and being shamed and
Speaker 1: being seen and like all of those things, were also
Speaker 1: afraid of our greatness Mary and Williamson. That says we're
Speaker 1: not It's not our shadow. I'm gonna totally screw this up.
Speaker 1: But it's not our darkness that we're most afraid of.
Speaker 1: It's our light. Greatness is a very lonely place to be,
Speaker 1: and we live in a society who they want you
Speaker 1: to be great, they also want to see you fail
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, especially fall from that greatness.
Speaker 1: They want to know your humanity, which is beautiful. We
Speaker 1: all want to know both sides. That's where the wholeness
Speaker 1: piece comes in, is claiming that greatness along with our
Speaker 1: humanity somewhere along the way. For me, though as a
Speaker 1: kid it was so easy for me to claim my greatness,
Speaker 1: I had no fear around that. As I actually had
Speaker 1: more and more success as a child, there's a great
Speaker 1: low holiness in that it almost feels like the thing
Speaker 1: that I received love from also pushed love away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there thing that I received love from, which is when
Speaker 1: I would sing and do something otherworldly and great, you know,
Speaker 1: and as far as you know what how people viewed
Speaker 1: that it was the thing that I received adoration and
Speaker 1: love for, but at the same time it became something
Speaker 1: that could easily push love away. It's something really interesting
Speaker 1: about that I was always thinking about this morning that
Speaker 1: came to me, is like, it's not only the shame
Speaker 1: and the fear being seen and all of those things
Speaker 1: that could possibly happen that are quote unquote negative. It's
Speaker 1: also our greatness that we can fear. So with all
Speaker 1: of that, let's just dive right into talking about fear.
Speaker 1: We are really living in a time of fear. It's
Speaker 1: a real visceral experience for a lot of people. And
Speaker 1: of course this is the way our body is programmed.
Speaker 1: Our minds are actually programmed to look out for the predator.
Speaker 1: It's the way that we have been created. I mean,
Speaker 1: think about back in the good old days where you
Speaker 1: had you know, wooly mammoth like going to trample you
Speaker 1: when you went out to look for food. I mean,
Speaker 1: we go into a flight or fight response, and so
Speaker 1: you really have three options to fight fully or freeze.
Speaker 1: And if you froze, when you had a wily mammoth
Speaker 1: right after you die. So so just to understand this
Speaker 1: is not this is a natural human reaction that we
Speaker 1: live with on a daily basis. And now we don't
Speaker 1: have wily mammoth running after us anymore. But there are
Speaker 1: real threats, sometimes greater than others. And I think now
Speaker 1: specifically we have I was going to say perceived threats,
Speaker 1: but some of it's perceived and some of it is actual.
Speaker 1: We are living in a time of pandemic, We're living
Speaker 1: in a time of insane politics, coming at a seven
Speaker 1: climate change. You know, we have social issues are I
Speaker 1: mean deeply deeply rooted that are being dug up at
Speaker 1: this moment in time for us to reevaluate and in
Speaker 1: much need of it. You know, people are financially unstable,
Speaker 1: and just just talking about that right now, I can
Speaker 1: feel my whole body like ten s uff like it's real.
Speaker 1: But I do believe that there is a reason that
Speaker 1: this is happening. Whether some people want to call that
Speaker 1: naive or whatever you want to call it, I do
Speaker 1: believe that we exist in this gigantic puzzle that we
Speaker 1: can't see how every decision that we make shifts the
Speaker 1: way that puzzle connects and how we are being used
Speaker 1: and how the times are being used in order for
Speaker 1: growth and expansion. I truly have to believe that. I
Speaker 1: feel like we we all have to have a place
Speaker 1: to land. And it's not just that I have to
Speaker 1: believe it because it makes me feel better. It does
Speaker 1: to an extent. Sometimes it doesn't. Um Sometimes I wish
Speaker 1: somebody just show me the puzzle so I could understand,
Speaker 1: and then we could rewind, and then we could live
Speaker 1: in this situation. There's real growth here, an opportunity for
Speaker 1: growth and expansion, and I I feel like fear is
Speaker 1: another one of those places if we just reframe what
Speaker 1: it is, what it means to us, where we can
Speaker 1: see that it's an opportunity to expand, an opportunity to
Speaker 1: break out of the cage and the cages that we've
Speaker 1: kept around ourselves in order to become the next version
Speaker 1: of who we're supposed to be. And that next version
Speaker 1: when we're conquering these fears, we become not the better
Speaker 1: version of ourselves, but a more expanded version of ourselves.
Speaker 1: You know, when I think about how fear feels in
Speaker 1: the body. It is you feel completely contracted. And all
Speaker 1: the times that I've conquered my fears, every every time
Speaker 1: I've conquered something that I've been fearful of, my body
Speaker 1: just I breathe bigger. There's a high that comes with
Speaker 1: it of knowing that, oh I didn't die, I didn't die,
Speaker 1: and I did that thing that I was afraid of.
Speaker 1: So I think that it's an opportunity for us to
Speaker 1: get high but also really expand into a more expansive
Speaker 1: version of ourselves. Whether it's not that it's good, are
Speaker 1: better or worse, it's just there's more life force that
Speaker 1: flows through us, and I think I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 1: I'll just talk about my fear through music and singing
Speaker 1: since everybody most people know me from that. I've never
Speaker 1: had fear of going on stage. I started so young
Speaker 1: that I think they have this thing called exposure therapy.
Speaker 1: I was just reading about it actually in this book
Speaker 1: called Breathe, which is fantastic, by the way, But exposure
Speaker 1: therapy is basically where they expose the subject to their fear.
Speaker 1: Over time, they get desensitized to the fear and therefore
Speaker 1: they're able to face their fears more easily. I guess
Speaker 1: I had exposure therapy. From the time that I was five.
Speaker 1: There was never a time where I had to think
Speaker 1: about fear when I walked on stage. And that lasted
Speaker 1: throughout my teens, throughout my successes, throughout everything, until until
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to hide my humanity really anymore. That's
Speaker 1: when fear kicked in for me. I knew that my
Speaker 1: voice was like that one thing that I always did
Speaker 1: well no one could ever take away from me. And
Speaker 1: I knew I was going to walk out. And I
Speaker 1: mean unless there's some like force of God like come
Speaker 1: down as like you aren't nailing it today, you're going
Speaker 1: to screw this up. I knew that I could nail that.
Speaker 1: And I don't think until I went through so much
Speaker 1: public shaming did I feel that I was so afraid
Speaker 1: to screw up singing because I was afraid that that's
Speaker 1: the last thing that someone could take away from me
Speaker 1: quote unquote like and so there was there became so
Speaker 1: much fear and like, oh shit, what if I don't
Speaker 1: sing it today, then they can say, oh, she she
Speaker 1: sucks at that now too. By the way, when you
Speaker 1: sing in front of I mean, no joke, millions of
Speaker 1: people around the world at the fire, and you walk
Speaker 1: on and you're singing the national anthem, You're gonna have
Speaker 1: a little bit of something. I would think. I would
Speaker 1: think the mind was extremely heightened at that point in
Speaker 1: time of my life, because all of a sudden, I realized,
Speaker 1: oh shit, if I screw this up, here's one more
Speaker 1: thing people can add to their list right now of
Speaker 1: of shame. I remember peeking my head out of the
Speaker 1: like holding room at the and seeing all these people,
Speaker 1: and then someone said to me, I forgot how many
Speaker 1: people they were saying, we're watching around the world, and
Speaker 1: I think that number is what freaked me out the most.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like the people in front of me. And
Speaker 1: so I remember walking out and God knows that things
Speaker 1: going through your mind, and I remember my head spinning
Speaker 1: out of control, and the judge in my head like
Speaker 1: trying to make sure that I was gonna do everything
Speaker 1: perfect so I wouldn't sunk this up. And there I
Speaker 1: am terrified until I opened my mouth, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden I opened up my mouth, and as
Speaker 1: soon as I opened up my mouth, my body knows
Speaker 1: what it's doing like my body has all the memory
Speaker 1: in the world to know exactly what it's doing. All
Speaker 1: I have to do is now get out of my head,
Speaker 1: which is easier said than done. But for me, I
Speaker 1: think it was my voice and performing is such a
Speaker 1: there's such memory there whatever overrides and kicks in, and
Speaker 1: it's like leand ihimes performing. It's like, basically what was
Speaker 1: happening in my to me at the time is I
Speaker 1: had a freeze response that um that was going on.
Speaker 1: I would literally freeze and as soon as I opened
Speaker 1: my mouth, the freeze response with thought out. And that's
Speaker 1: because there's so much memory there in my body and
Speaker 1: I just instantly click on. But I'm never having that
Speaker 1: experience before that. I think it really really traumatized me
Speaker 1: after the fact, because I mean, look, you do get
Speaker 1: the high afterwards of oh my god, I just nailed that,
Speaker 1: And then the first thing that goes into my head
Speaker 1: after that is, am I going to have to go
Speaker 1: through this experience again? Like? Am I going to now
Speaker 1: have to go through the experience of being afraid every
Speaker 1: time I go on stage? Now, this was before I
Speaker 1: had really any awareness of the connection of my head
Speaker 1: in my body. I feel like I've very much lived
Speaker 1: up in my head. So whatever freeze response, I just
Speaker 1: discussed that I now had no idea of what was
Speaker 1: happening and going on, so no idea of how to
Speaker 1: con quote unquote control it. I guess it would be
Speaker 1: no idea how to work with this energy either. There
Speaker 1: was just fear and nail it and then no fear,
Speaker 1: and then fear that rushes right back in because my
Speaker 1: next thought was I have to do this again, don't I.
Speaker 1: So what really put me into that fear space, especially
Speaker 1: within my music, was that the one place where I
Speaker 1: didn't have fear um is a one place where I
Speaker 1: could go and just truly let myself be all of
Speaker 1: a sudden had this feary action. And if I really
Speaker 1: think about it, that fear response has been there within
Speaker 1: other avenues of my life. I remember, you know, being
Speaker 1: thrown all of these acting roles when I was younger,
Speaker 1: and I would never let myself. I would never let
Speaker 1: myself go over and cross over into acting world because
Speaker 1: I always thought, if I'm this good at singing, I
Speaker 1: have to be that good at acting and so therefore,
Speaker 1: and I haven't. I don't. I'd never had anywhere to learn.
Speaker 1: There was nowhere to eject from being lean rhymes for
Speaker 1: a second and just be lean learning how to act.
Speaker 1: There was none of that. It was always my name,
Speaker 1: always was attached the idea of who I thought I
Speaker 1: had to be, the idea of who people wanted me
Speaker 1: to be, was always attached to that name. So it's
Speaker 1: very challenging to actually go out and experiment. There was
Speaker 1: no experimentation. In fact, when I experimented, everyone like sham
Speaker 1: to me for experimenting. You shouldn't go over and cross
Speaker 1: over into this other kind of music because you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be country. I mean, like little things like that,
Speaker 1: I guess really started to become the programming of that
Speaker 1: fear response. And like I said, the only place where
Speaker 1: I could get away from it was was my music.
Speaker 1: And now all of a sudden, this fear of response
Speaker 1: within my music, and that fear, that fear of being rejected,
Speaker 1: that fear of shame, you know, has kept me way
Speaker 1: smaller than I need to be for a very long time.
Speaker 1: There's no way we're getting around our fears without actually
Speaker 1: exposing ourselves to them. Like you have to you have
Speaker 1: to go there, You have to go into the fear.
Speaker 1: You have to go into the fear. You have to
Speaker 1: be with the feeling. You have to marinate in it
Speaker 1: and just let it be until eventually the dial does
Speaker 1: get turned down. Along my journey, what I've learned is
Speaker 1: first off, what that fear responses, and how to connect
Speaker 1: my head with my heart and my body and how
Speaker 1: to connect you know, there's a there's a spiritual component
Speaker 1: to to fear. Whenever we are being vulnerable, fear will
Speaker 1: rub right up against that. It's just there's no vulnerability
Speaker 1: without fear. And I think depending on I guess the
Speaker 1: level of vulnerability will bring, the more vulnerable we have
Speaker 1: to be, the higher the level of fear. And I
Speaker 1: also think, depending on have we been here before? Have
Speaker 1: we prepared for this moment? I think preparation is huge
Speaker 1: when it comes to alleviating a piece of fear. Have
Speaker 1: we done this before? If take for instance, have I
Speaker 1: done this podcast before? No? I have not, So therefore,
Speaker 1: my level of fear is going to be extreme. And
Speaker 1: maybe by my fiftie podcast, you know, the fear will
Speaker 1: be as heightened. It will. I don't think it will
Speaker 1: be gone, but it maybe we'll be dampened. And that
Speaker 1: is a really really good example of exposure therapy. And
Speaker 1: that's it's funny because I one thing that I've learned
Speaker 1: which is so powerful, and this is where being vulnerable
Speaker 1: really does kick in. The vulnerability start with expressing the fear.
Speaker 1: And once we can verbalize that fear and have someone
Speaker 1: witness us and and hear us. To me, what I've
Speaker 1: learned is, oh, that fear starts to not be that
Speaker 1: silent killer in your mind, like totally taking you down.
Speaker 1: It is now out of your body. You've at it.
Speaker 1: There's a movement of energy and even though it still exists,
Speaker 1: it's not the thing that you're keeping silent and secretive.
Speaker 1: There's no way to get around fear with with secrets.
Speaker 1: It's just when we keep that for ourselves, it becomes
Speaker 1: so much bigger than what we what it has to be.
Speaker 1: So first that vulnerability has a start with verbalizing it.
Speaker 1: That's one tactic that I've learned is super helpful. All right,
Speaker 1: we're going to take a short pause, but coming up,
Speaker 1: I'm going to share with you how facing a huge
Speaker 1: personal fear ended up putting me on this podcast path
Speaker 1: all because of a very motivational friend. Hello, my friends,
Speaker 1: one of the most potent examples of me exposing myself
Speaker 1: to my fear was doing the Lewis House Summit of
Speaker 1: Great Nous. For those of you who don't know who
Speaker 1: Louis is, he is, first off, an incredible human and
Speaker 1: he's a fantastic motivational speaker. He's really dedicated his life
Speaker 1: too exploration of finding life lessons I think for all
Speaker 1: of us to learn from. He has a fantastic podcast. Um,
Speaker 1: he has a huge following and so for him to
Speaker 1: ask me to speak to his following was a big
Speaker 1: deal and there was a lot of fear involved in that.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I mean there was a there is
Speaker 1: a reason why. I mean, it's not like it just
Speaker 1: didn't have a reason why I would be scared. There's
Speaker 1: a reason. Um. But wonderfully, you know, with him being
Speaker 1: the person that he is, I felt comfortable enough to
Speaker 1: be able to kind of dive into to this fear
Speaker 1: with him and to be vulnerable with him. About six
Speaker 1: weeks before his Summon of Greatness, he texted me and said, Hey,
Speaker 1: would you be up for coming and speaking at my event?
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking he's gonna say, oh, it's you know,
Speaker 1: like it's a few months from now or whatever. No,
Speaker 1: it's like it's six weeks from now, if even it
Speaker 1: might have been four, which for me is like totally
Speaker 1: not enough time to plan. I'm like, what what you're
Speaker 1: asking me to do? What? When? And I have to
Speaker 1: fill thirty minutes you want me to film what with words?
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to talk? Yeah, So it was so uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: and I have a wonderful way of dancing around things
Speaker 1: and eventually getting to them. Um, but I ignored him,
Speaker 1: I think for a day completely, didn't text him back.
Speaker 1: That's a really good way of of defferring than making
Speaker 1: sure you don't have to deal with your fears. I'm
Speaker 1: great at it. Um. Finally text him back and I
Speaker 1: basically I basically said yes that yes. Actually, I've noticed
Speaker 1: I've actually started to use this as a tactic for myself,
Speaker 1: which is a great one. Just say yes, and then
Speaker 1: you feel like you're gonna have to do just have
Speaker 1: to do it anyway. So it's not about whether or
Speaker 1: not you're going to do it. Then it's about how
Speaker 1: you're going to get it done. So my focus is
Speaker 1: actually it actually switches from oh shit, I am so
Speaker 1: afraid of speaking too well, how am I not going
Speaker 1: to suck or get something out of this. It's wonderful
Speaker 1: to have a friend like Louis who I was able
Speaker 1: to express. First off, there's a lot of pieces here.
Speaker 1: One is being able to express your fear, and then
Speaker 1: you like having Louis. I had a support system. Then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, knew what my fear was that
Speaker 1: could help work with that fear. I was able to
Speaker 1: expand into a new version of myself. It's I'm not
Speaker 1: the one who never goes on stage in public, speaks
Speaker 1: or leads people through a chant, which I was the
Speaker 1: first time I ever did that. Also, I become the
Speaker 1: one who has done that. So there's the expansion is
Speaker 1: that you're no longer your limitation anymore. Um Now, you
Speaker 1: might not be comfortable with that because I've only done
Speaker 1: it once, but I know I can do it. And
Speaker 1: I've also learned you don't have to just verbalize your
Speaker 1: fear to one person. Verbalizing your fear to thousands of
Speaker 1: people is so fucking empowering. And then it's like it
Speaker 1: dissipates and you can always refer back to it. You
Speaker 1: screw up, You're like, see, I'm scared. I told you all.
Speaker 1: It's also a really good tactic to kind of smooth
Speaker 1: the edges over. Um. I've done that when I've been
Speaker 1: on stage for the first time playing piano, which I
Speaker 1: thought I would never do. I've done that public speaking.
Speaker 1: You know. It's I really was excited to do something
Speaker 1: new and branch out, but I was also scared. So
Speaker 1: I had an opportunity to actually like go into the
Speaker 1: excitement and allow myself to feel that excitement. Because our
Speaker 1: bodies when they switch on for fear excitement, it's kind
Speaker 1: of similar. It really is about directing your attention. What
Speaker 1: are you giving your attention to and how are you
Speaker 1: How are you relating to the feeling that is happening
Speaker 1: to your body at this moment in time, And so
Speaker 1: you can either relate to it as oh shit, I'm scared,
Speaker 1: or in those moments you can rename it and relate
Speaker 1: to it in a different way of oh, I'm excited,
Speaker 1: like really allow ourselves to feel that excitement. That was
Speaker 1: the first time where I really got to put that
Speaker 1: thought and that idea into into play was at the
Speaker 1: Lewis event, and I was really able to dig into
Speaker 1: the to the excitement piece of it, and I was.
Speaker 1: I mean, I cried, I did, like the whole thing,
Speaker 1: like everything that's so me. I had to allow my
Speaker 1: humanity to show, and I think that was part of
Speaker 1: my message anyway. So my message was coming out just
Speaker 1: through my body. One of the best tactics that I've
Speaker 1: learned is to own up to the fear being able
Speaker 1: to walk on stage at Lewis's event, I honestly I
Speaker 1: lead with my fear. It was the first thing that
Speaker 1: I talked about, is you know, he asked me to
Speaker 1: do this, I'm terrified. I think I said something like,
Speaker 1: if you want to know what being scared shit, listen.
Speaker 1: Doing it anyway looks like it's me right now, Like
Speaker 1: this is it? In fact, I wrote what I was
Speaker 1: going to say the night before. Like That's another thing
Speaker 1: that I've learned about myself that I used to think
Speaker 1: was a very bad thing, but I've actually turned it
Speaker 1: into a really positive thing. Is that I sometimes wait
Speaker 1: to the last minute to do things when it comes
Speaker 1: to writing or comes to figuring out what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: And there's two reasons why. One I've learned that's another
Speaker 1: one of my ways of like avoiding my fear. But
Speaker 1: I've also learned how once again to use that in
Speaker 1: a more positive way. There's a real truth too. I'm
Speaker 1: waiting to be spoken, I'm waiting to be written, and
Speaker 1: so I've learned as a songwriter, I've learned not to
Speaker 1: rush things too. I like, I have to go write
Speaker 1: this speech because I'm speaking in two weeks. Whatever it
Speaker 1: may be. I allow myself to be worked through, and
Speaker 1: sometimes especially I like for things to be very in
Speaker 1: the moment, especially there. I knew I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about how I was feeling in the moment and what
Speaker 1: my experience was, and so I waited till the night
Speaker 1: before to really write what I was gonna say. But
Speaker 1: I knew that, and this is where the trust piece
Speaker 1: comes in. We're gonna talk about trust in a second,
Speaker 1: but the trust piece for me was I will be
Speaker 1: work to do. I'm gonna put myself in this situation,
Speaker 1: and then how whatever is supposed to come through me
Speaker 1: will come through me, which it started to the night
Speaker 1: before and then just extended on into you know, the
Speaker 1: whole next day of me being on stage and leading
Speaker 1: with my fear and telling people, hey, this is what
Speaker 1: it looks like, this is what scared shit list looks
Speaker 1: like and doing it anyway and being able to lead
Speaker 1: with my vulnerability and the honesty of my fear was
Speaker 1: what put me in a place of power, of real
Speaker 1: power when it actually brought me right into that moment
Speaker 1: with other people. It allowed for a more honest space,
Speaker 1: and then whatever flowed through me through after that, Like
Speaker 1: I think I whatever I wrote I expanded upon like
Speaker 1: times fifty. Another lesson that I've learned about fear and
Speaker 1: I'm still learning it because this one is probably the
Speaker 1: most challenging for is accepting the outcome without judging it.
Speaker 1: For instance, this morning at tennis, which by the way,
Speaker 1: in my mind, I'm going pro in tennis at some point.
Speaker 1: It's my next job. Um. I love tennis so much.
Speaker 1: It's so much fun to play. But I'm definitely in
Speaker 1: the learning process. And it's funny because my coach like
Speaker 1: has me forgetting about the last thing that happened, being
Speaker 1: in the moment. Because we missed one shot doesn't mean
Speaker 1: we're gonna miss the next. When we're learning, we have
Speaker 1: to remember we're not going to hit every shot perfectly.
Speaker 1: It's just not going to happen. And that's where we learn.
Speaker 1: We learn more when we screw up than we do
Speaker 1: when we do it great. It feels good to do
Speaker 1: it great, feel shitty to not not do it. Do
Speaker 1: not do it great, But at the same time we're
Speaker 1: That's where we have a chance to learn. But we
Speaker 1: can't learn and we can't grow from that if we
Speaker 1: hang on to that moment and judge it as proof
Speaker 1: to us that we suck at the thing that we
Speaker 1: just did, except in the outcome, as that's what just
Speaker 1: happened in that moment. There's a new moment, there's another
Speaker 1: time to try. That is so important. And also knowing
Speaker 1: that the thing that we just did doesn't say anything
Speaker 1: about who we are now. I say this, but it
Speaker 1: is so challenging for me to do because my whole
Speaker 1: idea of Leanne Rhymes is a lot of the time
Speaker 1: tied up into being LeAnn Rhymes. Now that has changed
Speaker 1: tremendously in the past several years. I realized that I
Speaker 1: am so much more outside of lean rhymes, the celebrity
Speaker 1: and who people I think I have to be. I am.
Speaker 1: I am not that fragmented piece, that one singular piece
Speaker 1: of lean rhymes. I am a whole being. And so
Speaker 1: what we need to remember we have so much more
Speaker 1: to offer outside of that funk up that just happened.
Speaker 1: It's just not that's not the end all. So yes,
Speaker 1: accepting without judgment, which leads me to also trust. I
Speaker 1: have trust as a tattoo on my arm, actually, and
Speaker 1: I put it there because I knew that I needed
Speaker 1: to trust life, myself, people more. Actually, as we get older,
Speaker 1: we end up not trusting because we end up living
Speaker 1: in those places that have proved to us that life
Speaker 1: and myself and other people are untrustable. And now I'm
Speaker 1: going to get on a soapbox because it's I can't
Speaker 1: tell you how frustrating I know it is for me
Speaker 1: to live in the past. It is so frustrating and
Speaker 1: it's so life sucking. And to be able to to
Speaker 1: move on from the things that have happened, it takes
Speaker 1: a lot of reprogramming, conscious reprogramming. I guess I got
Speaker 1: this tattoo. How old was I? I was like twenty
Speaker 1: eight when I got my trust tattoo, And clearly, like
Speaker 1: my higher self and future self, knew that I needed
Speaker 1: this because it was something that I was desiring in
Speaker 1: my life, was to trust. When we don't trust, like
Speaker 1: we cut ourselves off from life. We cut ourselves off
Speaker 1: from life force energy, we cut ourselves off from our
Speaker 1: creator basically. And so yes, I'm getting into the spiritual
Speaker 1: piece of of fear because I like to trust what's
Speaker 1: going to work through me. Preparing is such a huge
Speaker 1: piece of the puzzle when it comes to addressing fear,
Speaker 1: because when we prepare, we we really There is such
Speaker 1: a thing as muscle memory, There is a thing as
Speaker 1: like really getting it into the body so the brain
Speaker 1: doesn't have to think, it doesn't have to function. And
Speaker 1: that requires doing, which requires us having to expose ourselves
Speaker 1: to the thing that we have to do in order
Speaker 1: to really take a one piece of the fear component
Speaker 1: out of the way. Preparation is so important, and then
Speaker 1: comes trust where we can step out of the way
Speaker 1: and be worked through. I mean there are real moments
Speaker 1: where I sing where I know I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: I mean something else is doing it. There's such a
Speaker 1: freedom to that trust. It's not just trusting if it's good,
Speaker 1: it's trusting if it sucks. It's trusting that oh I
Speaker 1: needed to experience this, or someone else needed to experience this,
Speaker 1: someone else needed to witness this. That's the picture right there,
Speaker 1: and it ends with trust. I say that so flippantly.
Speaker 1: The trust is such a key piece because that's our
Speaker 1: dance with the divine. All right, after a quick breath,
Speaker 1: we're going to be diving even deeper into the sources
Speaker 1: of fear and how they're often passed down through generations.
Speaker 1: Welcome back into this sweet space with me. Something else
Speaker 1: that I've learned about fear is that you cannot internalize
Speaker 1: someone else's projection and their fears in their judgments. Our
Speaker 1: parents fears. There are so many things that my parents
Speaker 1: had fears about. I literally had to unfunk myself with
Speaker 1: all my mom's fears, because I mean, my mom was
Speaker 1: a very sheltered, very sheltered child and had so many
Speaker 1: fears about the world. And here I am having to
Speaker 1: go out and live in and amongst the world in
Speaker 1: like such a crazy way. And I was always with someone.
Speaker 1: I always had people with me. I either hadn't you know,
Speaker 1: my ex husband or my parents at one point, you know,
Speaker 1: and or a manager and agent, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I was getting divorced
Speaker 1: and I was living alone. My mom's fears, all of
Speaker 1: her fears that everything about the world was, you know,
Speaker 1: scary and dangerous. Oh my god, they all of a
Speaker 1: sudden became mine. So the projection and the what we
Speaker 1: take on is so important when it comes to other
Speaker 1: people's fears. When fear comes up, it's a great question,
Speaker 1: is this mine? Where did it come from? Where did
Speaker 1: it come from? It isn't mine? And does it need
Speaker 1: to be here? Is it serving me? What? What is
Speaker 1: it protecting? What is it trying to protect me from? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not your fear. You can you can discard it.
Speaker 1: You can literally disconnect from it. And I know that
Speaker 1: sounds like some people are thinking like, oh, it's that's
Speaker 1: not that easy. It is. Actually it can be the answer,
Speaker 1: you know. I think in those moments when we realize
Speaker 1: that it's not it's not ours to carry, I guess
Speaker 1: it is really too to love the one who thinks
Speaker 1: they have to carry it, because somewhere inside of us
Speaker 1: there's a little one who feels like they have to
Speaker 1: carry this for someone. At least in my case, that's
Speaker 1: definitely been the through line is like this codependency. I
Speaker 1: feel like I need to carry this for you. I
Speaker 1: feel like this is the way my world is going
Speaker 1: to be because it was your experience. When it comes
Speaker 1: to putting down other spheres, especially when it comes to
Speaker 1: our parents, there's a real sense of detachment there. There's
Speaker 1: a real sense of a feel of loss, and we
Speaker 1: may feel guilt when it comes to those things of
Speaker 1: putting down other people's fears and no longer carrying them.
Speaker 1: There may be guilty that comes up, and that's when
Speaker 1: we we have to start expanding our container to be
Speaker 1: able to be with those those feelings. There's a saying
Speaker 1: in the spiritual community that fear is the absence of love.
Speaker 1: I do feel like there is a when we are
Speaker 1: so locked into fear, the only way is into it.
Speaker 1: First off is to to connect with it, not ignore it.
Speaker 1: And once we do, we have to bring love to it.
Speaker 1: The only way through it is to it, and then
Speaker 1: you've got to get to it to get through it.
Speaker 1: And then to be able to bring that love into
Speaker 1: the fear is when we can actually be with it
Speaker 1: in a loving way where there's not a judgmental way,
Speaker 1: like you shouldn't be fearful about this. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: it's so easy for us to go there, and that's
Speaker 1: where most of us go, but too to treat your
Speaker 1: fear and bring love to it like you had a child,
Speaker 1: which some of us, by the way, are still learning
Speaker 1: how to do. I mean we're learning how to parent ourselves,
Speaker 1: and not some of us, a lot of us, because
Speaker 1: there's so much we have to learn to give ourselves
Speaker 1: that our parents can never give. So when we bring
Speaker 1: that that pure unconditional love to to that fear, we
Speaker 1: allow for something to really shift. I don't think that
Speaker 1: fear is just the pure absence of love, because there's
Speaker 1: I don't feel like we can ever really be separated
Speaker 1: from the thing that we are, and we are ultimately
Speaker 1: pure love. It's not like we're going to be getting
Speaker 1: rid of fear anytime soon. It's not like it's a
Speaker 1: it's saying something about us. If we're in fear and
Speaker 1: that we're we're disconnected from love. It is a natural
Speaker 1: human response, and so we have to bring consciousness and
Speaker 1: loving awareness to this so that we can we can
Speaker 1: have a different experience with it, we can dance differently
Speaker 1: with it. But just knowing that humanity will always be there,
Speaker 1: This is where we get into the human and the
Speaker 1: holy humanity will always be there, and so we have
Speaker 1: to bringing the love to that humanity instead of trying
Speaker 1: to rid ourselves of our humanity. This is where the
Speaker 1: dance is so important and where we do become whole
Speaker 1: is because we get to connect those two pieces that
Speaker 1: have been so deeply disconnected. One thing I want to
Speaker 1: make incredibly clear is that we're talking about one specific
Speaker 1: I think version of fear, because I think there are
Speaker 1: real fears, fears that keep us safe and fears that
Speaker 1: tell us when to leave somewhere, like you know, if
Speaker 1: there's an abusive relationship, or if we're walking down you know,
Speaker 1: a dark alley at night and something in us is like,
Speaker 1: don't go down this alley. Like that to me is
Speaker 1: like there are real fears that do keep us safe,
Speaker 1: like there's a there's a reason for it. It's when
Speaker 1: we have these perceived fears and what keeps us from
Speaker 1: growth is what we're talking about in this specific podcast.
Speaker 1: So I just want to make that really clear, because
Speaker 1: fear is fear is a gift, is a gift that
Speaker 1: are when our body tells us that something is wrong.
Speaker 1: I really want to just give you some some things
Speaker 1: to just chew on, some little tidbit to take away
Speaker 1: from this and ruminate on um. I guess ruminate ruminate
Speaker 1: in the best way. If we're going to have our
Speaker 1: mind ruminate, which it does a lot of the time,
Speaker 1: we might as well have something good to chew on.
Speaker 1: So I feel like that love is not the opposite
Speaker 1: of fear. I feel like courage is the opposite of fear,
Speaker 1: and it takes courage to live, to truly live, Otherwise
Speaker 1: we're just surviving. Fear means that you are living on
Speaker 1: your edge, that you are pushing your edge and going
Speaker 1: into places where you are outside of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: And that is a good thing. That means you're growing
Speaker 1: and expanding, and there's more life that can flow through you,
Speaker 1: and there's more opportunities that this world can bring you.
Speaker 1: There's more of you have a bigger receiving antenna, and
Speaker 1: life is going to get so much better when we
Speaker 1: take that courage and move into our fe years and
Speaker 1: live on our edge so that we can expand. Preparation
Speaker 1: is key. You can't avoid the process. You can't avoid
Speaker 1: people experiencing your process. You're never going to learn and
Speaker 1: prepare by yourself all the time. That's one of my
Speaker 1: biggest lessons that I've learned and one of my biggest
Speaker 1: hurdles has been people witnessing my process. I still don't
Speaker 1: like it. I like people to see the final result
Speaker 1: like tada, I'm just this good all the time. Um,
Speaker 1: But that's where our vulnerability kicks in and and our
Speaker 1: preparation is such an important piece that we can't avoid
Speaker 1: that and then expect to get the results that we're
Speaker 1: wanting on the other side. So preparation and then finally trust,
Speaker 1: just trust. I don't know, I say that every time, like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, just trust, but because it feels so big
Speaker 1: sometimes to me to trust, and it seems the simplest thing,
Speaker 1: just to you know, it should be like to just
Speaker 1: open your arms and trust and surrender. But we want
Speaker 1: to control everything. We think we are the controllers of
Speaker 1: our of our lives. And to me, that's the spiritual
Speaker 1: piece that kicks in of know that you are here
Speaker 1: for a reason, that you are worked through and in
Speaker 1: the moment that you're doing the thing that you're fearful of,
Speaker 1: and noe trust that the outcome is exactly what it
Speaker 1: should be. We may not understand it at this moment
Speaker 1: in time of why, but it hopefully will make sense
Speaker 1: in the long run. So trust trust, trust. Trust. If
Speaker 1: there's anything that you take away from this to me,
Speaker 1: fear is maybe trust is the opposite of fear. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Maybe that's what I just took
Speaker 1: away from it. Trust is the opposite of fear, because
Speaker 1: if we're in trust, how can we be fearful? I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess the fear will always be there. But if
Speaker 1: there's no good or bad outcome, if it's just is
Speaker 1: we allow the outcome to just be, then we're trusting
Speaker 1: that all is well no matter what the outcome is.
Speaker 1: It's not just trusting the process that will be worked through,
Speaker 1: it's actually supposed to happen for our greatest expansion. So
Speaker 1: with that, I'm going to trust fully that you are
Speaker 1: here listening to this for a reason, that I am
Speaker 1: in your ears for a reason, that we are here
Speaker 1: together and going to explore this journey together for a reason.
Speaker 1: Throughout this podcast, I want to introduce you to some
Speaker 1: of my personal teachers and people who have inspired me
Speaker 1: along the way, people who have really been profound witnesses
Speaker 1: to my journey and major guiding lights to help me
Speaker 1: find my wholeness. And I hope that we are able
Speaker 1: to call back the fragments of ourselves together so that
Speaker 1: when all this is done, we're holy humans. I think
Speaker 1: that sounds like a good idea, don't you. So I
Speaker 1: have something in my arsenal that I can't leave out
Speaker 1: of this podcast because it's the whole piece of me,
Speaker 1: or the wholeness of me. So I thought I would
Speaker 1: lead you guys through a chant that just kind of
Speaker 1: sets the tone for the podcast, for who we are,
Speaker 1: for what we're discussing, what we've discussed today. So if
Speaker 1: you're driving, be careful. If you're not, actually just close
Speaker 1: your eyes and take a deep breath and let it
Speaker 1: out and allow your shoulders to fall just a little
Speaker 1: further away from your ears and your body to relax
Speaker 1: a little more. Just take a moment with me, and
Speaker 1: we're going to chant hi Am hum ha i am
Speaker 1: Holy Chrace renews me. It's love that guides me. Hi
Speaker 1: Am hum hi am Holy Chrace renews me. It's love
Speaker 1: that guides me. Everyone, take a deep breath in, let
Speaker 1: it out. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 1: A blast recording this for you, guys. I hope you've
Speaker 1: enjoyed listening. Thank you for connecting with me. On an
Speaker 1: even deeper level, and I look forward to so much
Speaker 1: more of this exploration with you, of this human and
Speaker 1: holy existence. On our next episode of Holy Human, I
Speaker 1: will be joined by the wonderful Nicole Lowis, who is
Speaker 1: a woman who has truly truly changed my life. She'll
Speaker 1: share her insight into what it really means to embody
Speaker 1: the concept of being completely whole and how you can
Speaker 1: also incorporate it into your everyday life. We're going to
Speaker 1: be getting into all the fields and I mean bodily feels,
Speaker 1: because that's what we're going to be talking about somatic work.
Speaker 1: So please join me next time Holy Human with me
Speaker 1: Leanne Rhymes is a production of I Heart Radio World
Speaker 1: Say Not All You saying Me Die