1 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy. My name is Kat and I am 3 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,120 Speaker 1: the host, and I'm so glad you're here, and you 4 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: have chosen, if you're new or not new, to come 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: here on a really good day, whatever day it is, 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: that you're listening to this, because today I have my 7 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: very first supervisor from when I was a intern, I 8 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: first started as a therapist. So I'll get into that 9 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: in a second, but before I do, I do want 10 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: to say, as always, remember guys, this is not therapy, 11 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: and I'm not acting as your therapist on this show. 12 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 1: I'm just a therapist who happens to be licensed and 13 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: know a lot of things, but also just wants to 14 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: talk about mental health and all of those things. Cool. Cool, Okay, So, 15 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: like I said, my first ever supervisor is on. Her 16 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: name is Janet how Braun, and I could talk about 17 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: her probably for forty five minutes, and then you guys 18 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: would be done and you wouldn't get to listen to 19 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: the conversation. So I'm going to let her do the 20 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: talking for herself. But I do want to say that 21 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: if she was not my supervisor, and if I didn't 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: know her, personally, she would be my therapist, Like she 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: is so cool, and she's so good at what she does, 24 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: and she believes in what she does and she's a 25 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: good human. Like I've never met anybody who hasn't loved 26 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: Janet wholeheartedly, like I just have not. So I'm so 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: glad she's on today. And also, God bless you, Janet, 28 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: because I think that we planned to record this about 29 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: seventy five times and it finally came to a fruition. 30 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: So I'm so grateful for that. But you're gonna love 31 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: her as much as I love her. We talk a 32 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 1: little bit about me when I first started, and it's 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: just funny looking back eight nine years and being like, 34 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: WHOA where I came from and then and where I am. 35 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: And I say that not to be like look at 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: where I am now, but one for me to remember 37 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: that I used to not know what I was doing. 38 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: So when there's other things in my life that I'm like, oh, 39 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: I'll never be good at that or I can't do that, 40 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: I have to remember like everything that I've done in 41 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: my life, I started not knowing how to do. And 42 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: that goes for y'all too. We are allowed to start 43 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: and not know what we're doing. We are allowed to 44 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: start and be bad at things. We are allowed to 45 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: start and be confused, and we learn as we go. 46 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: But if we never start, we'll never learn. So this 47 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: might be a little sign if there's something out there 48 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: that you've been itching to try or do, or if 49 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: you've been feeling really insecure about being quote unquote bad 50 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: at something, Andrew new like, that's okay, and allow yourself 51 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: some grace to grow because if you were one of 52 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: my first clients, you probably were would be like, uh, 53 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: what is the scope doing? But we're here now. So anyway, Janet, 54 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: thank you so much, Thank you so so much for 55 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: being on today. And if you hear Janet and you're like, 56 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I need her to be my therapist, 57 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: then if she has availability, you can reach out to 58 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: her by going to Janet how Braun dot com. So 59 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,679 Speaker 1: it's j A n E T H E I L 60 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: B R O N N and I'll put that in 61 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: the show notes so there'll be a link for that. 62 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: I hope you guys are having the day you need 63 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: to have and I will talk to you again on 64 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: Wednesday for Couch Talcks. But for now, here's my conversation 65 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Janet. Okay, guys, 66 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 1: welcome back to a brand new, beautiful episode of UNI Therapy. 67 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: I have one of my favorite people in the world here, Janet. 68 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: How are you good morning? I'm great? How are you? 69 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: I'm so good. So the first thing we're gonna talk 70 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: about here is how Janet and I met. And I 71 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: would like her to give the first version because I've 72 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: known you since I was twenty one two. Wow, that's 73 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: ten years. It's time warp right there. That is crazy. Okay, 74 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: must be twenty two though actually it's not important, but okay, 75 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: So I want you to tell everybody how we met 76 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: in your version whatever you want to say, okay, which 77 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: this cracks me up because I think about then and 78 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: I think about now. So here it is you were 79 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: Katherine at that time, which I still am depending on 80 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: who's talking to me. When did Cat come on board? So, 81 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: which is a question. All the time growing up, everybody 82 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: called me Catherine, and high school people call me Katherine. 83 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: In college some people started calling me Cat. And then 84 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: when I started teaching cycling, everybody called me Cat. And 85 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 1: then all of those people started calling a cat my 86 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: mom and like my sister called me Cat, I'm aunt Cat. 87 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: It probably really started like right after college and then 88 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: it's just easier. I like it. But some people, a 89 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: lot of people still call me Katherine, so you can 90 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: still call me that. That's so funny. I have two names. 91 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: That's fascinating. Identity crisis. Yeah. I was going to say, 92 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: like the part of me that's Cat, the part of 93 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: me that's Cat. Huh. So you came into internship at 94 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: the Ranch and I was your intern supervisor. I think 95 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: was that my role? Yes? And I remember when I 96 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 1: got the email that you were going to be my 97 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: direct supervisor. I remember showing it to somebody because I 98 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: are already there. I was already there for a little bit, 99 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: and I think Becca was like my interim boss until 100 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 1: you came along to the placing with you. Remember telling 101 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 1: somebody like, oh I got played with Janet and they're like, 102 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: you're so lucky. Oh my gosh. That cracked me up. Well, 103 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: I remember too when it was like, here's going to 104 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 1: be your intern and I'm thinking what am I going 105 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: to do with this? Like I don't know, but I 106 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: was very excited. So you came on board, and we 107 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: worked at the Men's House River At the time, it 108 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: was like young men too, young men, and I wondered 109 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: how that was going to be with you, how you 110 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: would feel about that, because it was really your age group, 111 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: your demograt I was terrified when they said you're going 112 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: to go to work with men. I was like, no, 113 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: I came here to work at the eating disorder program. 114 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: I remember, I was terrified and I knew nothing, nothing 115 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: about addiction, and so I remember, you were not in 116 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: this group. It was me and the other therapist that 117 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 1: you worked with was my first group. There's some reason 118 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: you weren't there. And you're like, you can do it, 119 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: you can do it. I remember I was wearing a 120 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: yellow pea coat with green pants. So good, so good. 121 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: And one of the clients who I've then talked to since, 122 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: which is funny, was processing his first step and he 123 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: had taken a couple of sessions to do it, like 124 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: a couple of group sessions to do it. And I 125 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: remember in that session he talked about the stealing he 126 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 1: had done and his sex life in his addiction. And 127 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: when I saw him, like five years later, he was like, 128 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: I'll never forget your face. During that you just were 129 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 1: like wide eyed, jaw drop, like, what the heck is this? 130 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: I was terrified, and I also was like opened up 131 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: to like, oh, I am so sheltered. How am I 132 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: going to help any of these people? Right? And that 133 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: was something I remember about you, and I was so 134 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: excited for you. I felt like this is going to 135 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 1: be a portal into something that is just gonna it'll 136 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,719 Speaker 1: blow it. I'd open for you, and that there was 137 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: so much opportunity for you to learn and lean in. 138 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: And I wanted to talk about this because we were 139 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: talking about this before we started recording, about how people 140 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: will see I'm talking about me because like I have 141 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: my experience, but like I feel a lot of people 142 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: see me and what I do and how I do it, 143 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: and they have this idea of who I am, and 144 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: then they also just like think it was always that 145 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: way and I want people to see that. Like we 146 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: all started somewhere, and my start was like I was like, 147 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: I'm never going to be a therapist, Like I don't know. 148 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: One of my thoughts constantly was like how does she 149 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: always know what to say? How does she know to do? 150 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: Like when we started doing experiential stuff, I was like, 151 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: where is this coming from? My brain doesn't work that way, 152 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: It'll never work that way, and so I was silent 153 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: a lot of times. I remember that about you, and again, 154 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: it was really exciting to watch you blossom into that. 155 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: And I remember you even saying, how do you know 156 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 1: what to say? I remember you asking me that question, 157 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: and you had there was a lot of good questions 158 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: actually that came through from you. But you were very quiet, 159 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: and I'm not quiet, No, you're not. That's why when 160 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: I sit said to somebody, I'm going to do this 161 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: podcast with Cat, and oh my god, it's such a 162 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: difference from when I first knew her, very quiet looking around, 163 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: kind of waiting, well what do I do next, to like, 164 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: look at what you've gotten now, it's amazing. And I 165 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: remember with you and then and other programs when I 166 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: went and had other supervisors, I had to try a 167 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: lot of things and messed a lot of them up, 168 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: Like I remember doing my first psycho drama and I 169 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: had to have the other therapist step in and help 170 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: me because I didn't know what to do next. But like, 171 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: I didn't hurt anybody in the process, and I needed 172 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: to have that experience. So that eventually I could get 173 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: comfortable in doing them because I liked, at that point 174 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 1: in my life to have a perfect plan when I 175 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: feel overwhelmed. I need a perfect plan. When I feel comfortable, 176 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: I can do anything at like a whim. Because remember 177 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: when they tried to move me. Eventually, they're like, okay, 178 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: you're going to move to this having made the creek house, 179 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: and you're like you're not taking her, and I was like, 180 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: I don't want to leave, and we got extra to 181 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: I got to stay there an extra semester or something. 182 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: I know, I remember that, that's right. So it turned 183 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,319 Speaker 1: into like I don't want to work with men, I 184 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,559 Speaker 1: don't want to do this too, like I'm finally getting 185 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: really good at this, I want to stay a little longer, 186 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,079 Speaker 1: which was really cool. It was cool. Well, I think 187 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: you totally had the heart for it, you know, And 188 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 1: that was the thing I saw on you, was you 189 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: really have the heart. You have the heart, and I 190 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: saw it then. And while you may not have known 191 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: exactly like what do I say, what's the next thing 192 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,959 Speaker 1: we do, it didn't matter. You came in with the 193 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: absolute knowing like I'm really wanting to know. I'm curious, 194 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 1: I was there more than I was supposed to be there, 195 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: like in the summer. Remember I kept coming in the 196 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: summer and I wasn't supposed to, but they were like, 197 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: well you can still come and out. And I wasn't 198 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: getting credit for it because I was like, if I 199 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,839 Speaker 1: want to soak all this up? That place was so 200 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: special back then. I just liked being there absolutely, So 201 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: it turned into me hiding in the bathroom. I think 202 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: one time my fake sick and I went home. Hey, 203 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: it's survival. Sometimes we just do what we do. One 204 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: of my first clients I worked one on on. They 205 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: were all your clients, and then I would see them 206 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: extra and I at that point was like, what else? 207 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 1: What am I going to do? Janet is in quotation 208 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: saving their lives? In my head? What am I gonna do? 209 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: And I remember this one client who didn't want to 210 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,599 Speaker 1: be there. He was young, he was like eighteen and 211 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,959 Speaker 1: I were. I was in a session with him and 212 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,719 Speaker 1: it was the second session and he wasn't talking to 213 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: me because he didn't want to be there rightfully, So 214 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: so I started doing this like activity with him that 215 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: I had in my back pocket, and he literally looked 216 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: at me and he goes, so we've already done this before, 217 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:33,079 Speaker 1: so can I go? That's the worst I know. And 218 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, you can go, and he left 219 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: and I had a choice to lean into, like I'm horrible. 220 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: That was the most terrible experience ever too. I kind 221 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: of don't know what I'm doing and that's okay, and 222 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to get better, and that's what I had 223 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,599 Speaker 1: to lean into. But then I had pockets of like 224 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: clients who did like working with me, and you were 225 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: so positive and so affirming, and that's what I think 226 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: I needed. I needed somebody to help build my confidence. 227 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,079 Speaker 1: You did really help. I'm so glad, thank you for 228 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: saying that to me. You were a good supervisor. I 229 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: don't know how you did it because you had your job. 230 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: That job was stressful. Then your life was chaotic. My 231 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,719 Speaker 1: life was chaotic, which I knew, but not to the 232 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,719 Speaker 1: extent probably that I would have understood now. So can 233 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 1: you talk about that time in your life just so 234 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: we can hear about the struggle that like therapists also 235 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: have because we have lives too. I make up in 236 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: my head that a lot of times not anymore, well 237 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: maybe not, but like self disclosure, I think is more. 238 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: People are doing it more, and like there's a lot 239 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: of favors have Instagrams that their clients can follow and 240 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: all that stuff. And I think before I was a therapist, 241 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: if I were to think of a therapist, I would 242 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: think of somebody who has all the answers in their 243 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: life is perfect, and then you have the right to 244 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: become a therapist, right and only when it's all settled down, 245 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 1: and it so wasn't at that time. I remember, so 246 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: I remember you. You know, I'm thinking I have got 247 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 1: to do a better job with her because my life 248 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,439 Speaker 1: felt really chaotic. I was through a horrible breakup not 249 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: soon enough, right, It's that thing where it just hangs 250 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: on and you're like, oh, so all my codependency was 251 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: kicked up. I was completely activated in all that, and 252 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: I lost my way a little bit, and I needed 253 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: to show up because I wanted to because I love 254 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: the work. I was trying really hard to, you know, 255 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: mirror good stuff your way. And I can remember crying 256 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: with you in the office and You're like, and you 257 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: were so good. I'm feeling and I'm like, okay, good, 258 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: she's good. She's going to be a good there because 259 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 1: she held the space really well, So what did how 260 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 1: did you operate? My life feels chaotic? Yeah, I have 261 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,439 Speaker 1: to show up? How did you do that? So I 262 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: leaned into my own therapists. I finally started cutting myself 263 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: a break, and I took a lot of walks during 264 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: a lot all those things that you know we do 265 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: or we ask people to do when they're doing this 266 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 1: kind of work for themselves. And I think it was 267 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: just I want to say, also friends, just leaning in 268 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: and getting permission to call on lunch hour and just 269 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: be a total wrack and then okay, dry your tears, 270 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: now be back and eventually you know, I know we say, oh, 271 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,079 Speaker 1: you don't want to compartmentalize your stuff, but at some 272 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: level that's really a good thing because it gave me 273 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: a break from all my own pain. And then show 274 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,079 Speaker 1: up and then I was Then it started to blend. 275 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: It wasn't so black and white, and I felt like 276 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: I found my footing again. That makes me thin about 277 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: I sometimes struggle with the balance between being it and 278 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: quotes adult, do your job, get your ship together, don't 279 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: bring your stuff into the workplace, and allow yourself to 280 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: feel your feelings, like show up, don't deny yourself whatever. 281 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: I struggle with that sometimes of the balance of it. 282 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: But I think what you're talking about is like I 283 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: had to learn to find the balance that like, I 284 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,439 Speaker 1: need to make sure that I'm doing my things that 285 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 1: we tell people to do, and then we also need 286 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: to do that. That's right. I'm gonna do my thing 287 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: so then when I show up to work, I have 288 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,079 Speaker 1: enough space to go do my job and then I 289 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: can come back and have a moment. And it's not 290 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: all or nothing. It's not I'm healed, I'm falling apart, 291 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: I'm feeling okay, feeling a little better, I'm having a 292 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: rough time. I'm gonna allow myself to fall apart for 293 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 1: a second. I'm gonna put some of the pieces back together. 294 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 1: It's just like this like more fluid experience totally. That's 295 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: well put. That's exactly what it was like. And I 296 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 1: remember I leaned into this person who was sort of 297 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: well known for working with when a codependent gets with 298 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: someone who might look like a certain kind of kind 299 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: of other personality, you know, and she said to me, look, 300 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: you actually know a lot of this stuff. You already 301 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: are on track. And it was like the affirming of 302 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: that because I think along the way I forgot sometimes 303 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: I think we all do, but I definitely forget. Oh, 304 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: I do know some things. And I think also what 305 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: I struggled with when I went through probably the hardest 306 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 1: break up for me to move on from, was I struggled. 307 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: My therapist would always say I know you Because I'd 308 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: be like, I know. She'd say I know you know, 309 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: and then she'd point to her heart and she said, 310 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: but you don't actually know, And I was like, how 311 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: do you do that? It would make me so mad, 312 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: but that I use that all the time with clients now, 313 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: like we know in our head, and especially people who 314 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast. That's why I say all the time, 315 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: this is not therapy because I can tell you all 316 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: of the facts about codependency and love, addiction and the 317 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: healing process and the nervous system, and I could know everything. 318 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: But the way you heal your nervous system and the 319 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: way you change the way it operates is experiences. And 320 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: so that's when she's pointing to her heart, She's like, 321 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: you have to actually experience what you know absolutely, which 322 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: is why I went on to get somatic training after 323 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: all that, and that was like the game changer for me. 324 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: Will you talk about that because we talked about that 325 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: in the summer on here how to lant on and 326 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: she does somatic movement and she's done that whole. I 327 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: think she's done all those modules, but will you talk 328 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: about what it is and how you use it? Ho 329 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: it's helpful for you? And then also with clients. Absolutely, 330 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: I heard that podcast. I loved to listen to you 331 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: guys together. That was so fun, So I did. I 332 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: went through all the modules also, and I loved. I'll 333 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: never forget being in some of that training. And they 334 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: went through the aces the adverse childhood experienced test or whatever, 335 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: and I remember having like this body response to it, 336 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: like I felt like I came out of nowhere. It 337 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 1: felt like, oh, no, what do I do? I started 338 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: to hold my breath because it's that thing where I 339 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: don't want to make any noise because I'm about to cry. 340 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: And I was holding my breath and then it was like, oh, 341 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: I cannot keep doing this, but I've been holding my 342 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: breath so long it was going to come out loud right, 343 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: and here I am in this semantic training was the 344 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: first one. I can't remember which one, maybe the second 345 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: or so and this big sound came out like like 346 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: I don't know whether it was an ear breath or 347 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: out breath. And right then and there I realized, oh 348 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: my gosh, this is it. Like my body had a 349 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: complete response to just reading those things off the list, 350 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: not from my brain. It wasn't the thing I thought about. 351 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: It was how I felt about it, and I knew, okay, good, good, 352 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: good good, I'm in the right place. And then of 353 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: course we did some work around it. So the semantic 354 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: training was a game changer. I learned how you when 355 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 1: you slow it down, that's where all the information is 356 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: that you need, Like slow down. There's the narrative, but 357 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: then there's also the wisdom. So I love somatic experiential 358 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 1: work with clients. That's what I do. We just keep 359 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: coming back to the breath. Okay, what are you noticing now? 360 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 1: If you're going to pick an object in the room 361 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,119 Speaker 1: to describe what this feels like in this moment, what 362 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 1: would it be? And then it's like, oh, it gets 363 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 1: really rich. So I love that stuff and I love 364 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,640 Speaker 1: being that client. And I'm a little bit resistant because 365 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: I can stay up in my head, but I like 366 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: the push and I think because I'm a therapist. I 367 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 1: know what kind of what's happening? What do you do? 368 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: Because this stuff is a stuff that feels like woo woo. 369 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 1: To people who don't do therapy, they think therapy is 370 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: just coming in, sitting down them, vending about their week us, 371 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 1: telling them yeah, and then then going on, which sometimes 372 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: that's what it is. But whatever, what do you do 373 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: with a client that is resistant to that? Because you're right, 374 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: that's where like the richness comes from. But when they're 375 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: like an object, I don't I'm a person what I mean, right, 376 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: Because in the grip therapy it's easier because they get 377 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: to see it from other people and then they understand 378 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: it and they feel less like weird or whatever the 379 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: feeling might be. But what do you do when there's 380 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: resistance to that one thing that I remind myself all 381 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: the time, it's like, well, then don't don't push back, 382 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: like let the resistance be in the room. But something 383 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: that I do sometimes if it feels right, is I 384 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,719 Speaker 1: might say, Okay, so here's something I'm noticing about myself, 385 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: and I'll just come back to me and I'll say 386 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 1: I'm noticing my body. I feel I'm a little anxious 387 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: because I want this to be right for you. So 388 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 1: if I were going to pick an object in the 389 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: room to help you understand me from the inside out, 390 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: I might pick this prickly pair cactus or something right, 391 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: and then and then describe it and give them some information. 392 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 1: And typically I found that that's kind of enough, right 393 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 1: and they go, oh, yeah, well I'm actually that nail 394 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: on the floor, or move away from that and go 395 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: and go do something else for a little while, and 396 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: you'll and you can kind of weave back in, you know, 397 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 1: even if it's just what do you notice in your 398 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: breath right now? Like where is it? Is it up 399 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: in your shoulders? Has it gone down into your stomach? 400 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 1: Kind of go with physical On Wednesday's, I do like 401 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: a Q and A. And one of the questions was 402 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 1: it was somebody who doesn't talk a lot, and so 403 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: she felt like she never knew what to say, and 404 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: then like sometimes her therapist would be good about filling 405 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 1: the space and sometimes it was awkward. And what's interesting 406 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 1: is I answered that question. So I'm not going to 407 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: answer the question. But what I talked about is how 408 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: when I noticed that part of it, it's like, it's 409 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 1: not our job to fill the space. But part of 410 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 1: it is when a client doesn't know, like they almost 411 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: like they need permission. And that's what you're saying, is 412 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: like I'm giving them some kind of permission by describing 413 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 1: my experience. And if we just talk about the thing 414 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: that they came in here with, they might not know 415 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 1: how to really talk about it, and it might be 416 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: like I'm asking questions and they say, I don't know, 417 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, and it's very short 418 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: and it's like it's going nowhere. But then when I 419 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: do something like I asked them, I'll do like I 420 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: have all those papers over there. Those are all like 421 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: pieces of art that clients have done. So I'll say, Okay, 422 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: you don't know how to answer this question, want you 423 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: draw me what it feels like? Perfect? And the first thing, well, 424 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm not a very good artist, that's not. But it's 425 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,680 Speaker 1: crazy how then somebody can just start drawing squiggly lines 426 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: and exes and using different colors and using different pressures, 427 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 1: and that's light over here and dark over here, and 428 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,399 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm like, you do know, you know, 429 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: you just don't have words to describe it, but you 430 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 1: can and I think that's like kind of what you're 431 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: talking about in a different way, and then the conversation 432 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: in the session completely transforms and it's something to work 433 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 1: with it does. It becomes so rich because there's so 434 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: many layers now that have just shown up in the room. 435 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: I do want to go back. I want people to 436 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: know how do you even became a therapist? This is 437 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: one of the best like questions I think to ask 438 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: a therapist is like, how did this become your path? Right? Right? 439 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: So this is I love this question because I absolutely 440 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: love the answer that I'm going to give you, and 441 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: it is this. I grew up in a family of chaos. 442 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 1: There was all kinds of stuff going on, and I 443 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: didn't understand how to process any of that. Like nobody 444 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,479 Speaker 1: sat down because it's often kids. It's not like, I mean, 445 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,399 Speaker 1: parents are doing the best they can. It's not like 446 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 1: they're there to sit down with that child and say, well, 447 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: let me just explain to you what that rage thing 448 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: was you just saw and why the door is hanging 449 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: on a hinge, you know. And so it's that thing 450 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: where kids walk around and they make up a story 451 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 1: about what that thing is. A lot of times we 452 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: make up that I caused it or I had something 453 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: to do with it. So when I was ten, I 454 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: created this game. I didn't know this was the word, 455 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: but it was the therapist game. And I made client files. 456 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: I still have them, I do. They're treasures to me. 457 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: Do not get rid of. How are you kidding? And 458 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: so I they had names, they had like about a 459 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: paragraph of their story at ten, At ten, I put 460 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: how many visits they came. I had a receipt for 461 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: it was twenty bucks a session, really good, A good deal. 462 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: But of course we're talking a long time ago, so 463 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: maybe that was expensive then, I don't know. And um, 464 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,359 Speaker 1: sometimes I would write like newspaper articles about their spouse 465 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: that was arrested, and I'd put it in there at ten, 466 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: at ten years old, and I you know, and I 467 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 1: had a page out of the phone book that we're 468 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: all doctors numbers, So it's like a referral sheet, I know. 469 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 1: And I look back at that and I go, Okay, 470 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,959 Speaker 1: who was I watching on TV? Who in my family 471 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: might have modeled this? Were you in therapy? No, I 472 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: didn't get into therapy. Tell I was twelve two years 473 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 1: two years later and right, and then I'll tell and 474 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: it was my mother's you know, therapist or whatever, and 475 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 1: I'm in It's crazy town and I could have I 476 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 1: was like, no, dude, you're not working with me the 477 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: right way. But anyway, UM, yeah, I don't know. I 478 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: don't know. I think there was a show on TV 479 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: about It's called The Bob New Heart Show, I think, 480 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: And I don't know that. I watched that a whole lot. 481 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 1: I was ten, so I don't know where it came from. 482 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: That is why I know. So did you know, Like, 483 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: were you always going through life being like that's what 484 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. I don't know if I knew that 485 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: so much until later, Like I was the one in 486 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: the family. My older sister might argue this, but like 487 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 1: she would come to me with the problem and then 488 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 1: I would quote unquote solve the problem. And then my 489 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 1: mother would have a problem and then I would give 490 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,320 Speaker 1: her advice. And it was that role. I just took 491 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: that role. I think it started occurring to me when 492 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: I went to college as a kid. I was that 493 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: role with a lot of friends too. But you know, 494 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 1: you didn't know it. I don't think I knew. No, 495 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: I don't think I knew. But then I started seeing 496 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 1: my own therapist as an adult when I was just 497 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 1: out of college, and I knew, well, how do you 498 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 1: separate the boundary of like, naturally we're helpers and we 499 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: have a lot of good information and insight, So how 500 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: do you separate the boundary of like that's my quote 501 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 1: unquote role. And also, I can't be the fixer of 502 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 1: everybody's things because that's overwhelming. And now I'm just like 503 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: a raging codependent writing right, how do you do that? 504 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: So here's the thing that's true for me Now, I 505 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 1: really make a practice of seeing the wisdom or the 506 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: healer in each and every individual in my life. So 507 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: someone can show up and be a mess and be 508 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: a good friend of mine, and I'm absolutely going to 509 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: show up for them then ask them what do you 510 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: feel like you need? And I have to breathe through 511 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: because I have a couple of friends, as as we 512 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 1: all do. There's a couple of friends in my life 513 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: where I want to swoop in there and say some 514 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: stuff and I just have to bite my tongue because 515 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,719 Speaker 1: really and truly, when it comes down to it, they 516 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 1: have their own answer. I through my own lots of 517 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: my own work that I've done for myself, like thank 518 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: goodness that I still do. I just know I can 519 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: sit and hold that space. I do not have to 520 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: fix it because it takes away from them. They can 521 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 1: do their own figuring that out and them fixing it. 522 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: This is something that I have learned that like my 523 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,160 Speaker 1: space where I feel my best is different than somebody else's, 524 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: and so they could be engaging in behaviors that would 525 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: feel really icky to me, but to them that they 526 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,360 Speaker 1: feel whatever totally. And there's a line there because I'm 527 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 1: not saying like somebody's like doing heroin and they feel 528 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,920 Speaker 1: great and I'm gonna let them go do that, like 529 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 1: although they're It is also a line of I can 530 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: only help somebody if they want help. But I mean, 531 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: like there's just some more minute experiences where I'd want 532 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 1: to tell somebody that's not good for you, but like, 533 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: who am I to say that? Because that might work 534 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,919 Speaker 1: for them in their space, in their life, even though 535 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: it might not work for me. That's right, And that 536 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: was a lesson I had to learn because I don't 537 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,719 Speaker 1: I don't know that you've went through this. I've never 538 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 1: seen this in you, but I probably saw you at 539 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: different spaces in your life. But I had a space 540 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: in my life where I felt a little bit better 541 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 1: than well, I don't like that. I just said that 542 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: there's a part of me that In the beginning, it 543 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 1: was like, I'm learning all this information, and I know 544 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: how family systems work, and I know what you're doing, 545 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: and I wanted to go and tell everybody that. But 546 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: then I was not looking at what my role was 547 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: and what I was doing in the system. And granted, 548 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: I think I was being hurt by certain things, but 549 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: also I was hurting other people too. So I went 550 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: through a like a wave or some waves of learning 551 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: my own stuff and all that stuff, and and learning 552 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: about the world and how to step back. But also, 553 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 1: like Katherine, you're not better than everybody else because you 554 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,679 Speaker 1: know how to do that. Therapists aren't better than we are, 555 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: just we are the other people. We're also in therapy. 556 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,119 Speaker 1: At the whole point, what did you do before you 557 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,439 Speaker 1: are at the ranch? Didn't you work at worked at 558 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: Mending Heart. I worked at Mending Hearts. Most awesome place ever, 559 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,120 Speaker 1: What an amazing organization. I want to say that for sure, 560 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 1: but yep, I worked there, and then I came over 561 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: to the ranch and then you went to do you 562 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: mind saying no, I don't mind at all. From the ranch, 563 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: I went to milestones at on site and again, incredible experience. 564 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 1: Holy Moses. Yeah. And now you're she's on around in 565 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: private practice. That's right, private practice. Okay. So you talked 566 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: about the somatics and how you love that, and then 567 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: I kind of talked about pulling in the drawing and 568 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 1: the art into that. And what I know about you 569 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: is you're a very creative person and you're a great artist. 570 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: You actually are good. And so I want you to 571 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: talk about how the creative process has been a healer 572 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: for you, and also, especially in the past year, what 573 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: have you tapped into to regulate yourself, Because we're telling you, guys, 574 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 1: therapists are people too. We've had to really zone in 575 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: on our own grounding. That's a good question. The creative 576 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: process for me brings me to a whole other part 577 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,560 Speaker 1: of my brain. And it really is somatic at some 578 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: level because it's not about words. It's about imagery and 579 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: color and texture and movement with if it's paint or 580 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: whatever it is. So I'm just going to be really 581 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,680 Speaker 1: transparent and say I felt kind of stuck creatively for 582 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 1: gosh on and off for the past few years, Like 583 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: I would create art for clients that graduated the program 584 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: at Milestones, which gave me great joy, and it kind 585 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 1: of was a context in which to do art, like, oh, 586 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to create this thing, and I want to 587 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 1: share with them my experience of them through their process, 588 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: and that had something to give them and that was that. 589 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: So that was kind of the level of art quote 590 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,879 Speaker 1: unquote that I would do. And I have dipped my 591 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: toe back in in various ways over the last year. 592 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: And I'm really excited because I'm getting ready to do 593 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 1: a creative arts process with an organization called Art and 594 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: Soul and they've been around forever and I'm excited because 595 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: it's going to be movement and visual and sound and 596 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 1: lots of ways to get in the process. So for you, 597 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: how does that stuff actually help regulate you? So here's 598 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 1: how I would say. It's like the most non scientific 599 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 1: thing I could ever say. It just gets me out 600 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 1: of my stuff in one way and gets me into 601 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: something else in another that helps me resource within me. 602 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: It gets to feel exciting when you create something and 603 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 1: it sort of brings you somewhere else and then you 604 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: get encouraged or involved in another part of that process, 605 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: and it just takes me out of my stuff, like 606 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: my story is gone. What does resource mean to you? 607 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: Because that's word that I understand and people in the 608 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 1: field understand. But like a lot of people are like, 609 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: what does that mean if I'm walking around like a 610 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: gingerbread cutout person? But can't you see it? I mean, really, 611 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: they see it in Nashville. We're all walking around that 612 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: way at some level. And I am feeling not resourced. 613 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: I'm probably not going to have a lot of color 614 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 1: filled up on the inside or anything. It's just going 615 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 1: to be the outline. If I'm feeling resourced, I'm going 616 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: to feel maybe some color in my feet. Right, So 617 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 1: it's grounding where I feel calmer, my breath is more 618 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:36,239 Speaker 1: even um, my anxiety has gone down, which might mean 619 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 1: my you know, breathing like you get that recovery breath. 620 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: We feel calm and I can find humor like that 621 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: resources me really well, and I don't feel scared. I 622 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 1: don't feel anxious. So that's resourcing. Resourcing in a in 623 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 1: a nutshell is just grounding. Work to feel more grounded 624 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: in yourself and who you are into the totally be 625 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: able to separate yourself from the world around you too. Yes, 626 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 1: not being the story. Yes, I had an experience a 627 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, and now that looking back on it, 628 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: I can see there was a lot of chaos happening 629 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: around me, and there was a lot of probably chaos 630 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 1: in my head, but like in the front of me, 631 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: everything was fine. And I remember going to work and 632 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: feeling a little bit like I don't want it, didn't 633 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: want to go. I don't even think that had clients 634 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: that day. I just was coming to work. I think 635 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: maybe recording a podcast. Driving down music row, and my 636 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 1: heart just starts beating really fast, and I'm like, what 637 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: the heck is going on? I feel like I'm gonna 638 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: have a heart attack. I turned down a street and 639 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,560 Speaker 1: a street was blocked, and I just remember tears welling 640 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: up in my eyes and me saying, why am I 641 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 1: about to cry? Why am I about to cry? I'm 642 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: not late for anything. This construction is usually here, so 643 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: it's not like new, like why am I? And I 644 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,960 Speaker 1: got into my office, I sat down and put my 645 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: feet on the ground and I took a couple of 646 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 1: deep breaths. I contemplated calling my therapist, but then said boundaries. 647 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: And that's what I did, is I just had to 648 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: bring myself back because I don't even know where I was. 649 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on. I was not grounded. 650 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: But resourcing to me was putting my feet on the 651 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: floor and breathing. I think, I wrote, when we say creativity, 652 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: it's not just art. It can be anything. So I 653 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 1: love writing and I just wrote things out and if 654 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: I went back and looked at it, it probably makes 655 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: no sense. It wasn't like a pretty thing I would 656 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: like post on Instagram. And I tell that story to say, 657 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 1: I want again to give you the picture that like 658 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 1: we're constantly doing this stuff and to that like when 659 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: we talk about these things, they're not these big, crazy, 660 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 1: elusive ideas. It's like for me, resourcing was coming to 661 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 1: my office in a safe place, putting a candle on 662 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: where I could smell something that felt safe, and breathing. Right. 663 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:42,959 Speaker 1: This makes me think about something that I did over 664 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 1: the summer too, and it's a creative process and it 665 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 1: looked like this. I would take walks at the park 666 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: and I would turn my video camera on slow motion 667 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: and I would move it through flowers and then come 668 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: back and write and then do a mandala. So I 669 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 1: was doing a mandala a day of just whatever the 670 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: writing was. And so it doesn't have to be about 671 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: art or it is art. That's art, that's art in 672 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: its own way. And it was so healing for me. 673 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 1: And now I'm getting to what it is I really 674 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: wanted to say, I think, which is it reminded me 675 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: of another part of myself, that is so I love 676 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,840 Speaker 1: being around this part and that's the resourcing for me. 677 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 1: So it's whatever it looks like. You know, in somatics 678 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 1: they teach you, which is one of the coolest things 679 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: that I only did the first module. I kick myself 680 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: for that because I could have done all of them 681 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: for free, right they would have paid. I kicked myself, 682 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: but I was like, at that point in my life, 683 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: I didn't want to spend more time at work. Yep. Anyway, 684 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: that's a tangent. We're not gonna go there. But anyway, 685 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 1: one of the things that I is the most helpful 686 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 1: thing that I've ever learned to think from that stuff 687 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: was when we are asking people to be in their 688 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 1: body and a lot of times they're resourcing on their body. 689 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are like, where's the pain, 690 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: where's the pain? Where's the pain coming from? And and 691 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 1: that you're focusing on where does your body feel good 692 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 1: and safe? So what feels And I'll use this with 693 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: clients all the time of like, tell me a part 694 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: of your body that feels safe to you, that feels calming, 695 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 1: whether it's like you're shaking foot feels calm, or whether 696 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know your left ear lobe because 697 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 1: it doesn't have like something shooting through it and it's 698 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 1: the only part of your body that feels like it's whatever. 699 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: That has been one of the most game changing things 700 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 1: I think for me and some of the work that 701 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 1: I do with people, because so much we try to 702 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 1: focus on what's wrong right other than what's right, and 703 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: that gives people an experience of like my when people 704 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: are like, my body is unsafe or I don't like myself. 705 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 1: That's why we asked those questions. Okay, but if you 706 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: did have to like one thing about yourself, what would 707 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 1: it be? Nothing? Okay, but if you had to choose something, 708 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: it's like, we need to focus on the good parts too. Yeah, 709 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 1: let's talk about the bad parts. Because we want to 710 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 1: shift and change that, but we can't shift and change 711 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: it if there's nothing to hold onto, right, And so 712 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 1: you're saying right now, it brings me back to a 713 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,560 Speaker 1: part of myself that I want to be around, because 714 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: in my stuff, don't want to be around myself. Like 715 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: that day when I was driving down Music Grow, if 716 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: I could have jumped out of my skin, I would have. Yeah, 717 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,040 Speaker 1: And so I brought myself into a spot where like, oh, 718 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: my feet feel warm and they're keeping me stuck to 719 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: the earth. I can get down with those body image work. 720 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like my big toe is the only thing 721 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: that I really like that, But I can sink into 722 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: that of like, Okay, my feet are things that allow 723 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,840 Speaker 1: me to be grounded into the earth and allow me 724 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 1: to walk and blah blah blah while the rest of 725 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,399 Speaker 1: my body feels icky. So I'm really glad you said 726 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,000 Speaker 1: that you have like resourcing and a lot of that 727 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: work brings you back to a part of you that 728 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: you actually want to be around. Absolutely absolutely, And I 729 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,839 Speaker 1: want to comment to you said about your driving down 730 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: Music Row or driving down the street and you don't 731 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,919 Speaker 1: know why, but all of a sudden you just felt 732 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: like you wanted to cry, Like why So this may 733 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: sound woo woo to some people out there listening, but 734 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: here's what I want to say to that we are 735 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: electromagnetic human, we're beings and we're all putting out some 736 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: kind of wave. And I realized that's a little out there, 737 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 1: but it's not. You're probably picking up the collective. And 738 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: so when we wake up and we go, oh my gosh, 739 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: why today am I feeling this incredible sense of dread? 740 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,240 Speaker 1: My life is going really well. It's like it feels 741 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,319 Speaker 1: better if we can land on something because it gives 742 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 1: us a reason. But sometimes it's just because that's what 743 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,759 Speaker 1: it's out there, is out there. It doesn't have to 744 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 1: be about me, doesn't have to be about you, I 745 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 1: want to say, but like it is also like the 746 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: world is. I'm soaking in all of that. Even when 747 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 1: we go to places that might not feel icky, you're 748 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,840 Speaker 1: still sucking in our soaking in other people's stuff that 749 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,760 Speaker 1: they might not be talking about. But it's the energy. 750 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,480 Speaker 1: I don't think that sounds will woo. We're holding space 751 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,239 Speaker 1: for a lot of grief, yeah, and sorrow and anxiety 752 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,960 Speaker 1: seems to be the bigger things, right, and anger and 753 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,400 Speaker 1: all that stuff, and so wouldn't it be nice to 754 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:53,839 Speaker 1: feel something different whatever that means. Yeah, however I get there. 755 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: So in a world where like not just therapists feel that, 756 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: everybody feels that a good friends, all that partners, spouses, whatever, 757 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,880 Speaker 1: feel that kids and parents feel that, teachers feel that, 758 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,359 Speaker 1: nurses feel that. So in a world where we're all 759 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,800 Speaker 1: whether we are trying to or not get attracting and 760 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,520 Speaker 1: sending off and pulling in all of that stuff, how 761 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: do we maintain not just our sanity but like our okayness? 762 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 1: Is what I want to write. Because we're our tool. 763 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 1: We are the tool that we are. I want there 764 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,879 Speaker 1: to be another tool. So there are so many good 765 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 1: tools to keep this tool home. And I have leaned 766 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 1: into the sheer movement and sound meditation. Though I've fallen 767 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,879 Speaker 1: off the wagon lately, I will admit that breathwork, which 768 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 1: I absolutely love. And I have done a lot of 769 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,840 Speaker 1: writing and oh one more thing to improv, Like I joined. 770 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,280 Speaker 1: There's an improv group out there. They do lunchtime improv 771 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,800 Speaker 1: breaks and it is so much fun to be silly 772 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 1: and laugh with a bunch of other adult that's what 773 00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,400 Speaker 1: you're good at. That is what you're good at. Is 774 00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: like full circle back to when I met you, and 775 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: you would be doing these psychodramas. I didn't know. I 776 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,839 Speaker 1: think that you were new at them at that point, 777 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: were you. Well? I had training way back when I 778 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 1: lived in Phoenix with people that had trained with moreno 779 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: who is a man? Oh yeah, the yes came back institute, 780 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,800 Speaker 1: and so I had some of that training under my feet, 781 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 1: but hadn't been I mean, I worked in domestic violence 782 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: and using it just a little bit right and then, 783 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: but coming to the ranch, it was like, that's what 784 00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: we do. Well. I remember you just being like I'm 785 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 1: gonna do this today, Like I'm gonna try this today. 786 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,279 Speaker 1: We're gonna do this today, and you've being excited about it, 787 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:39,800 Speaker 1: and me being like, I hope she doesn't asked me 788 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 1: to do something. I hope I can just watch. But 789 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: why I think you were so good at it, and 790 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: why I think you continue to be so good at 791 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:50,000 Speaker 1: this stuff is because you allow yourself to not take 792 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,719 Speaker 1: yourself seriously all the time. It's the biggest thing you 793 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 1: allow yourself to mess up. You allowers have to be silly, 794 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,640 Speaker 1: all yourself space to think and breathe, and I think 795 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,160 Speaker 1: that translates in the work you do with clients, but 796 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 1: like as a human being, I think that is what 797 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,560 Speaker 1: probably has helped. This is me just making an assumption 798 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: a lot, and you've being able to move through some 799 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 1: of this stuff. Is there's an essence of it's not 800 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,120 Speaker 1: that serious, right, I'm not that serious. It's not I 801 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 1: don't have to be serious, right, so I can do 802 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 1: an improv group and like just have fun and be 803 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: like it's an inner child kid. It's that ten year 804 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,399 Speaker 1: old who was so serious with their clients, being like, hey, 805 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 1: since you were working at ten, we're going to give 806 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,879 Speaker 1: you a break and you're gonna come into my lunch 807 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: break and you're gonna let me just like do whatever. Yeah, 808 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 1: that's so cool. It is really kind of cool to 809 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,719 Speaker 1: see it that way. I think that's great. Okay, yeah, 810 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 1: totally all right, Well this was wonderful. We could sit 811 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,560 Speaker 1: here as always well we will go we'll go to 812 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 1: lunch and keep talking and it was fun. This was 813 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: really a lot of fun. Also, full disclosure, we try 814 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 1: to do this about fifteen how many more like no, no, no, 815 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,040 Speaker 1: tell the truth. And last time when we scheduled this, 816 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,719 Speaker 1: you're like I said, Okay, I can't wait to see 817 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 1: you said, we'll see all right. Well, thank you for 818 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 1: being here. And if people hear you and they live 819 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 1: in Tennessee, are you still taking on virtual people? I 820 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,479 Speaker 1: am virtual people. I'm just starting to see people in person, 821 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 1: very slow, and people are like, oh, I want to 822 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 1: talk to her. How can people find you so they 823 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 1: can look me up on my website? Janet Hilbron dot 824 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: com H E I L B R O N N. 825 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,240 Speaker 1: I'm also part of a group called the Lotus Center, 826 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,760 Speaker 1: and we are a group of folks with all kinds 827 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 1: of practitioners and different modalities and you can look that 828 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 1: up on the internet the Lotus Center dot com. Okay, yeah, cool, 829 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,920 Speaker 1: look me up. All right, Well, thank you, We're going 830 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,000 Speaker 1: to go to lunch. I hope you guys enjoyed this 831 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,000 Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you guys on Wednesday.