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Speaker 1: Today, I afked up by masturbating after my wife had

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Speaker 1: our son, and now she thinks the house is haunted.

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Speaker 2: Don't you hate it when you just masturbate after your

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Speaker 2: kids born and then the house is haunted.

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Speaker 3: Put a finger down.

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Speaker 1: So I recently have become a father. My son is

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Speaker 1: a week old, and I've been home with mom and

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Speaker 1: baby the whole time.

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Speaker 3: Just jacking it.

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Speaker 1: Needless to say, I was getting a little bit restless

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Speaker 1: at home, even with the lack of sleep that comes

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Speaker 1: with a new kid. I've also I've been doing seman

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Speaker 1: retention for like the last like month.

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Speaker 3: Explain how that works.

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Speaker 1: You basically like try to not come in any scenario,

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Speaker 1: even during sex. Apparently it's like edging kind of, I

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Speaker 1: mean kind of like edging. I mean edging is more

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Speaker 1: like I mean yes, but like you just never go

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Speaker 1: over the edge basically right, and you're not but you're

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Speaker 1: not well. You also don't masturbate at all as it's

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Speaker 1: apparently like it gives you more energy and stuff like that. Interesting,

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Speaker 1: But I think think the main thing is like if

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Speaker 1: you can control that impulse, then you can control anything

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Speaker 1: in your life.

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Speaker 3: Is like that's the strongest human impulse. That is that

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Speaker 3: is true. I like it. Respect Have you heard Andrew Tate.

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Speaker 2: I have heard of Andrew Tates.

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Speaker 1: He's all over bro Oh, so many of my friends

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Speaker 1: are getting inundated with Andrew Tates.

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Speaker 2: It's it's insane how he's just like blown up in

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Speaker 2: like a second.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, it's insane.

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Speaker 1: It's like like every third Maybe it's because I'm watching

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Speaker 1: it now, but like every third video is like an

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Speaker 1: Andrew Tate video.

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't see the videos as much, but

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Speaker 2: I definitely hear like all like friends other podcasters talking

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Speaker 2: about it, and I everywhere. One TikTok I saw basically

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Speaker 2: explained he has some sort of like you know.

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Speaker 3: Program or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he has the people in the program create

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Speaker 2: accounts to repost old clips of his. They were saying

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Speaker 2: that that's like a big reason why it is, like

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Speaker 2: literally he has like hundreds of people or however many

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Speaker 2: people all creating different accounts, just constantly reposting old clips. Wow,

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Speaker 2: because he doesn't even have a TikTok. That makes so

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Speaker 2: much sense. I had no idea. Yeah, because they're all

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Speaker 2: always from a different account. Yeah, shit crazy right, Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's so smart.

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Speaker 3: And he just says just the whys. Have you seen

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Speaker 3: his podcast? I know I haven't.

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Speaker 1: Literally, it's him just being ridiculously misogynistic. But there's like

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Speaker 1: thirty like like beautiful women.

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Speaker 3: Around him at the table, right right, right, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: why would these women agree to this?

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Speaker 2: I saw him on one of the Barstool podcasts. Dave

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Speaker 2: Portner was like, so I heard you have a take

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Speaker 2: where you were like, if the woman is a porn

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Speaker 2: star only fans, then she does you need the woman

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Speaker 2: needs to give the guy a cut. He's like, that's right,

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Speaker 2: because the one belongs to her or the one belongs

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Speaker 2: to him. And he was like, okay, so if the

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Speaker 2: guy's a porn star, then he should give her a cut.

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Speaker 2: And he's like, no, that's ridiculous. And he's like, well,

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Speaker 2: that's why people say your misogynistic.

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Speaker 3: Because was he thinking does he not think he's misogynistic?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I think I mean, I think a

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Speaker 3: lot would wear that badge.

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Speaker 2: Like he's like, yeahstic he intentionally Like I saw one

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Speaker 2: video of him that was like water bottles are for pussies, Oh,

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Speaker 2: pussies drink from while He's like he's like, this is

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Speaker 2: for the content. You know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: So like bottles.

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Speaker 1: He knows that's the hottest take ever. I love that,

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Speaker 1: you know what. I fucking agree? Water bottles are for pussies.

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Speaker 1: If you're not drinking out of a thermis, you're a

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Speaker 1: freaking no good Earth wasisted pussy. All the environmental chads

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Speaker 1: are drinking from thermisis right. Shout out to all my

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Speaker 1: thermos guzzlers out there, my thermos ghuzzlies. Yeah, baby, yeah,

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Speaker 1: clean up, clean up, clean up your dirty slighd boy.

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Speaker 3: We're s reading this story right anyway. Uh, he has

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Speaker 3: a kid.

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Speaker 1: For obvious reasons, my wife and I couldn't pass the

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Speaker 1: time in the bedroom as normal, mainly due to the

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Speaker 1: expected impact of childbirth.

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Speaker 3: My son's huge, massive.

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Speaker 1: Head didn't help anything, so I decided not to bother

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Speaker 1: my wife and sleeping baby and slipped off to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom with phone and lotion to discreetly take care of business.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: Pursuing my go to site, I find a video of choice,

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Speaker 1: and first thing that pops up is an ad of

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Speaker 1: a girl yelling oh baby bee with the volume of

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Speaker 1: my phone at full blast. I quickly turn it down

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Speaker 1: and proceed a business. I return to my wife in

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Speaker 1: the living room, and all I see is shock on

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Speaker 1: her face and she holds my son looking worried. I

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Speaker 1: ask what's wrong, fearing she is mad at me about

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Speaker 1: taking care of business solo. She looked at me dead

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Speaker 1: serious and said something whispered hey baby to our son

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Speaker 1: after you left.

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Speaker 3: And now I'm freaked out.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, my wife believes in ghost spirits, as

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Speaker 1: crazy as it sounds. She's told me about seeing odd

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Speaker 1: things in her house and believes she heard people talking before.

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Speaker 1: So this did not help, and she is even more

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Speaker 1: worried with our new addition. She's currently burning sage throughout

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Speaker 1: our house to remove the spirits. And I don't have

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Speaker 1: the heart to tell her I was just horny and

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Speaker 1: she overheard me watching porn.

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Speaker 3: He made it out.

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Speaker 1: But he made it out, you know, I say, confessed

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Speaker 1: to your wife, so she doesn't she doesn't freak out

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Speaker 1: about your house.

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Speaker 3: Tell her the truth, bro, Just do it. Just do it.