Speaker 1: Positively Gam is sponsored by Vasiline. See how they are
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Speaker 1: How many times have you Elier? I've been married four times?
Speaker 1: Where do bail sound like a Lauren clocks? Do you folks? Times? Lonny?
Speaker 1: You ain't right? What's up, everybody? I'm Gammy and this
Speaker 1: is positively gam. Every week I have raw, in depth
Speaker 1: conversation with inspirational people pushing for change on everything from aging, relationships,
Speaker 1: politics and wellness to the current issues facing the black community.
Speaker 1: In this episode, we're going to be discussing comedy, dating,
Speaker 1: and my favorite thing weddings. Joining me is Lonnie, who
Speaker 1: is a Detroit native actress, comedian, author of the book
Speaker 1: I Tried To Change So You Don't Have To, and
Speaker 1: co host of The Real She recently joined Weed's hit
Speaker 1: show Bridezillas as the show's narrator and is the executive
Speaker 1: producer and host of Little Women Atlanta Unfiltered, which airs
Speaker 1: Friday's on Lifetime starting January twenty nine. Lonnie, welcome to
Speaker 1: Positively gam. You're staying so busy in the pandemic. Do
Speaker 1: you have any time to rest? Oh? My goodness, First
Speaker 1: of all, can I just say how I just love you.
Speaker 1: I follow you on Instagram. You encourage me. I see
Speaker 1: the six pack, and I'm like, I'm gonna get a tupac,
Speaker 1: get a too fat day. I've got that six so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get that too. I know you don't don't
Speaker 1: even worry about that. Everybody doesn't even like a six
Speaker 1: bad girl that ever. But thank you so much. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's what you say. It's so nice to meet
Speaker 1: you finally, and it's nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1: And like I said, you look beautiful, Like the listeners
Speaker 1: can't see you, but you look absolutely beautiful. How did
Speaker 1: you get into comedy? You know what? Game? I was
Speaker 1: unhappy with my life. I was an engineer. I was
Speaker 1: sitting there at twenty two, twenty three years old, and
Speaker 1: I had a manager who had had a fatal heart attack,
Speaker 1: and I never forgot when he told me, he says,
Speaker 1: lived the way you want to live. And when he died,
Speaker 1: you know, me being that young, being in that atmosphere,
Speaker 1: I said, I really need to do what I want
Speaker 1: to do. So I already I had started doing comedy
Speaker 1: in college and then I decided I was just gonna
Speaker 1: try it, and I went down to the Hollywood Improv
Speaker 1: and I started just every night, just you know, I
Speaker 1: would do my engineering work in the day, I would
Speaker 1: go to the clubs that night. And it took me
Speaker 1: about eight years before I was able to get a manager.
Speaker 1: And then I started doing the road. And one day
Speaker 1: at my job we had a layoff. So I went
Speaker 1: to one of my bosses. I said, you know, save
Speaker 1: a job and lay me off. And that was in
Speaker 1: like two thousand two, and I started doing the road
Speaker 1: and I never looked back. I never looked back in engineering. Wow.
Speaker 1: And that was a risk. It was that was a
Speaker 1: risk of quit regular paycheck with with with dient a
Speaker 1: bit offits because you know, you know my mom, and
Speaker 1: my mom was still mad. She's like, you quit that
Speaker 1: good job because you know black mama's you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. They like you get you a good state
Speaker 1: pay and John get you a good jumento exactly you're
Speaker 1: gonna get you wanna lose your pinchion, You're did a benefits.
Speaker 1: I said, yes, Ma, I'm buy my own. I won't
Speaker 1: buy my own own. So because one day I was signing,
Speaker 1: I was a closer. I was um I had got
Speaker 1: my way up because I worked for Xerox for eight
Speaker 1: years and I got all the way up to being
Speaker 1: a manager. And I was a project manager, but I
Speaker 1: was the closer, and I was going to close the
Speaker 1: contracts and I would be doing jokes and all kinds
Speaker 1: of stuff. And one day it just hit me. Gam
Speaker 1: I was like, I saw I was signing a five
Speaker 1: million dollar contract, and I said, wait, manute, I'm signing
Speaker 1: a five million dollar contract for somebody else. I need
Speaker 1: to because I was making about sixty tho dollars. I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, these numbers ain't adding up. And that
Speaker 1: really encouraged me to just said, you know what, I
Speaker 1: have to create my own equity, my own wealth. And
Speaker 1: that really encouraged me and pushed me. So I did
Speaker 1: it during the pandemic. Let me ask you if you
Speaker 1: find it hard being funny during these times when it's
Speaker 1: been just so you know, the world isn't just such
Speaker 1: a aramatized space. Yeah, but this is the time that
Speaker 1: we need comics. This is the time that we need
Speaker 1: the Dave Chappelle's, the the Kevin Harts, you know me
Speaker 1: even you know on my show, we try to provide
Speaker 1: some escapism, But then you have to find, you know,
Speaker 1: some funny even in the dark times. I mean, our
Speaker 1: president gave us plenty of things to laugh about. Those
Speaker 1: tweets that he was. He was ridiculous. He was utterly ridiculous.
Speaker 1: He had something every day that you could literally laugh at.
Speaker 1: I remember one tweet he sent out and it was like,
Speaker 1: the reason why we don't want the immigrants is simple,
Speaker 1: we full. And we're like, wait, we're fool. Have you
Speaker 1: been in North Dakota. It's all that man over there
Speaker 1: in North Dakota, you type of we full. So it's like,
Speaker 1: that's what as comics, that's what we're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to make people even in dark times. We're
Speaker 1: gonna make people laugh. That's our job. Right now. We fool,
Speaker 1: That's why we can. We can't have nobody. We fool.
Speaker 1: And then when he walked up there and he walked
Speaker 1: the plane with the toilet paper, It's like, how can
Speaker 1: you not laugh at that? It was so many things
Speaker 1: to get us through even the darkest of times we
Speaker 1: could get as comics. This is what we're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to find some way to help people escape,
Speaker 1: even if it's just for a mere moment, that's the
Speaker 1: sign of a good comic. Yeah, I guess you're right.
Speaker 1: How do you tell in this time where people are
Speaker 1: so quick to cancel you it's a cancel culture. How
Speaker 1: do you tell jokes you know, and share your point
Speaker 1: of view and without facing the media backlash? Well, you
Speaker 1: know what, It's called grace and a lot of liquor. Um.
Speaker 1: You gotta you know what I mean. It's like, the
Speaker 1: fearless ones are the ones that don't care. They didn't
Speaker 1: tried to cancel someone like Chappelle many times. You know.
Speaker 1: The thing is that we're gonna look back on the
Speaker 1: things that he says and we're gonna be like, why
Speaker 1: those are some classics? It was fearless. It's about being
Speaker 1: real and sometimes when you are authentic at the time,
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear that at the time you don't.
Speaker 1: But the thing is when you say you're a comics. See,
Speaker 1: the problemly is everybody want to be a comic, and
Speaker 1: that's not it. There are some people that's professional comics
Speaker 1: that we need to let them be comments. If you're
Speaker 1: a congressman, you ain't up damn comic, So stop trying
Speaker 1: to do jokes. Do you do the lawmak it. Let
Speaker 1: the comics be the comics. But as far as you know,
Speaker 1: cancel culture. If you're a true comic, you can't let
Speaker 1: that get to you because you're supposed to be fearless
Speaker 1: and your job. You have to take risks. There's some
Speaker 1: things that I said that I've joked about and people
Speaker 1: which have tried to cancel. But that's just that's what
Speaker 1: happens when you're in it. That's part of the whole game.
Speaker 1: You have to deal with the good and the bad.
Speaker 1: And in the end, people give you grace. They know
Speaker 1: your heart, they know what you're about, and you deal
Speaker 1: with it and it blows over facts. Now you encourage
Speaker 1: people to embrace their flaws and just try to live
Speaker 1: their life to to the fullest. What was the turning
Speaker 1: point for you when you made that decision that you
Speaker 1: were going to live your life for yourself. I think
Speaker 1: it was when I moved here from college. I had
Speaker 1: I moved here with my college boyfriend and I was
Speaker 1: living with him and his mother. That was the first mistake,
Speaker 1: living with him and his mother, and she was gonna
Speaker 1: tell me how to be a lady and this is
Speaker 1: what you need to do to keep mad, because this
Speaker 1: is what I did. And I was like, but you
Speaker 1: killed your husband. You know, he had a heart attack.
Speaker 1: You probably killed him because of your mouth anyway, So
Speaker 1: it was all of these things that a lady is
Speaker 1: supposed to do, but I just really wasn't happy with
Speaker 1: myself and it it had nothing to do with my partner.
Speaker 1: It had everything to do with me. And then I
Speaker 1: started researching and really started asking myself questions about what
Speaker 1: it What was it that made me happy? What was
Speaker 1: the things that I wanted to do? And I started
Speaker 1: really you know, getting spiritual, asking God to give me signs.
Speaker 1: And finally, once I you know, calm myself down and
Speaker 1: I really started listening to him and things just started
Speaker 1: coming my way. That made it easy for me to
Speaker 1: make decisions. So I left the relationship and I was
Speaker 1: on my own and I was able to move forward.
Speaker 1: And that's when I got into becoming an entertainer. That's
Speaker 1: really interesting because I still struggle with that. I still
Speaker 1: struggle with feeling free enough to just fully be myself.
Speaker 1: But why is that? You know, I'm still very concerned
Speaker 1: with my image and how people see me. I think
Speaker 1: I feel like people have a certain expectation of who
Speaker 1: I am as Jada's mother. That's been an issue for years.
Speaker 1: But you know what the thing is when I when
Speaker 1: I watch you, I feel that you are so real
Speaker 1: and you give us the truth. Sometimes we don't want it,
Speaker 1: but then we can't go back and say, no she tripping,
Speaker 1: you don't be tripping, You'll be hitting it on the nail.
Speaker 1: But see, the thing is in this country, we're living
Speaker 1: in all these compartments where people like they don't want
Speaker 1: us to say black women. A lot of times, it's
Speaker 1: like sometimes when we're talking about affects black women, when
Speaker 1: talking about all women, we're talking about black women. Then
Speaker 1: they get mad when you do that. But what I
Speaker 1: like about you, You're like, no, let me tell you
Speaker 1: I'm a black woman. This is a fact that me
Speaker 1: and is affecting my culture. And sometimes it's hard. I know,
Speaker 1: I understand that being we're talk show host, so we're
Speaker 1: supposed to reveal some things, but then they try to
Speaker 1: you know, they sometimes they try to shut you down
Speaker 1: and make you feel like no, no, no, you've been racist,
Speaker 1: or you're not being this, or you've been It's like, no,
Speaker 1: can we for one minute, talk as a black woman.
Speaker 1: You're a black woman, you're a mother, you're a survivor.
Speaker 1: Let you be you. They don't want us to be
Speaker 1: great sometimes, can we just for one moment, can we
Speaker 1: just speak our t without having a worry by everybody
Speaker 1: else's feelings. We got feelings too, thank you. That's all
Speaker 1: we're asking. And this is a thing. Well, it's not
Speaker 1: like we're saying you're not this, or you're not great,
Speaker 1: or this woman is not this, a white woman is
Speaker 1: not greater. This is his fact. We're talking about us
Speaker 1: for a minute. And that's the thing. For so long
Speaker 1: black women have been put you know, they say we've
Speaker 1: been put on the bottom. I said, we've never been
Speaker 1: on the bottom. We've always been you know there, We've
Speaker 1: always we've been taking care of the country. We always
Speaker 1: been a backbone. People try to say, oh, the Democratic Party,
Speaker 1: the black women, we've always been doing that. But then
Speaker 1: when we try to sit back and give our own
Speaker 1: the pet on the back, all of a sudden, now,
Speaker 1: my god, it's all women. Yeah, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: that's a problem, right, And I'm like, it's not a problem.
Speaker 1: Just let us be great. And we we got y'all
Speaker 1: were your sisters too. But let us be over here,
Speaker 1: let us, you know, have this moment amongst each other.
Speaker 1: And that's what we saw when we saw Kamala. When
Speaker 1: Kamla became vice president, it was like she's black. Okay,
Speaker 1: let us enjoy this for just a moment. And now
Speaker 1: she's a woman. Now she's in an interracial relationship, now
Speaker 1: she's this. But for this one second, let us enjoy
Speaker 1: the fact that this is another sister that I made
Speaker 1: it through the glass ceiling. Let us enjoy that. And
Speaker 1: you talk about Kamala being in an interracial marriage, you
Speaker 1: yourself are in an interracial relationship. How was that like
Speaker 1: for you? And how did you two meet? We met
Speaker 1: on a dating app. Really yet we met on a
Speaker 1: thirting app. And you know, the thing is, for one minute,
Speaker 1: I was only dating certain type of men. And then
Speaker 1: I stopped five years dating and just concentrated because my
Speaker 1: relationships wasn't going right because I didn't know myself. That's
Speaker 1: the problem. It wasn't about the dude. It was about
Speaker 1: me and the energy that I was putting in these relationships.
Speaker 1: I said I'm gonna put into my career. And once
Speaker 1: I started doing that my career started blossomy. I started
Speaker 1: blossoming as a woman. It's never too late, even what
Speaker 1: you just said, it to learn who you are as
Speaker 1: a woman. So you have to give yourself that. Once
Speaker 1: I started doing that, I started, you know, I started
Speaker 1: getting busy in Hollywood, and then I decided one day
Speaker 1: I looked around and I said, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: decided purposely not to have kids. I decided purposely not
Speaker 1: to get married. But you know, I needed some support
Speaker 1: in my life because I was going through different situations
Speaker 1: like you come home and it's like you'll be on
Speaker 1: your phone with the girlfriend and she's a girl. I
Speaker 1: ain't got time. You know, you ain't got nobody. You
Speaker 1: look around, You're like, well, where is everybody? I ain't
Speaker 1: got no Let me find somebody I could talk to,
Speaker 1: somebody could be my support. Exactly how did you decide
Speaker 1: to use an app? Because I have I have friends
Speaker 1: that are single that I'm actually trying to convince them
Speaker 1: to to use a dating app though I never used
Speaker 1: one myself. So what was that experience? Like what app
Speaker 1: did you use? And how did you decide what app
Speaker 1: you were going to use? Well, I wanted an app
Speaker 1: that was going to be safe because you know, me
Speaker 1: being out there and entertainment. There are certain apps non
Speaker 1: selemts can use, and I would say give it a try.
Speaker 1: I would say be safe about it, but give it
Speaker 1: a try. But first, before you do all of that,
Speaker 1: right down what you want, write a list of things
Speaker 1: of attributes that you really that really make you happy
Speaker 1: as a woman, things that you desire, things that you want.
Speaker 1: Then I found an app and it's Bumble and I
Speaker 1: like Bumble because it's more about me, Like I have
Speaker 1: to reach out to the guy. So that's the whole
Speaker 1: thing about Bumble. It's not like the you know, a
Speaker 1: bunch of guys a guy can It's like a bumble bee.
Speaker 1: So they sting you, you have to approach him. Once
Speaker 1: he stings you, you have to approach him. And that's
Speaker 1: what I liked. I'm in control of the situation, and
Speaker 1: so I was still started dating. I was on that
Speaker 1: app for about a year and a half and it
Speaker 1: was some ups and downs, you know, but I was
Speaker 1: really honest with myself. You know, if he had pictures,
Speaker 1: if the guys had pictures of kids in it, or
Speaker 1: you know, if he was in the gym, I said,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna be in the gym, so don't let
Speaker 1: me even be bothered with him. Don't let me fool myself,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So there were there were
Speaker 1: certain things that I was just and so that's how we,
Speaker 1: you know, I ended up. I was dating a couple
Speaker 1: of guys and James. It something about him. It was
Speaker 1: his eyes because I never dated a white guy before,
Speaker 1: but it was something about his eyes that was just
Speaker 1: so kind. And then I saw all his pictures were
Speaker 1: nice and he just seemed like a really nice guy.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I just sent him a little text,
Speaker 1: you know, And I remember they they sting you first,
Speaker 1: so you know that they have some interest in you.
Speaker 1: It's not you going after him. He he stings you first.
Speaker 1: Then you you can reply or you you you don't
Speaker 1: have to. And so we hit it off. But I
Speaker 1: was also dating a brother too, and I liked the brother.
Speaker 1: But it just turns out that he was a musician.
Speaker 1: He was busy. He just didn't have time for me. James,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, as I was, and I tell women,
Speaker 1: I said, date more than once. Don't just get stuck
Speaker 1: on one person. Say that again, Say that again. Lonnie,
Speaker 1: because no, seriously, black women, I think at least it
Speaker 1: was back in my day when I was growing up,
Speaker 1: it was like we hooked up with one person and honey,
Speaker 1: you mine, you know what I mean, And we don't
Speaker 1: know how to date, and we called dating. Now women
Speaker 1: that are trying to date different men now they house, oh,
Speaker 1: they're just dating. They're dating. They're just dating, and that's
Speaker 1: what it is. They're just dating. And because in our culture, though,
Speaker 1: we're told that, okay, just be with one person because
Speaker 1: if you like you just said, if you if you
Speaker 1: date more than one, because they think you have a
Speaker 1: sex with him and it's not always that. And guess
Speaker 1: what if you are you're grown, that's your business. That's
Speaker 1: your business. Okay, just be safe about it. So you
Speaker 1: do it all kinds of stuff and coming up with stuff.
Speaker 1: But I try to tell women, how do you know
Speaker 1: what you what you like? If you always doing it
Speaker 1: one at a time, you know what I mean, it's
Speaker 1: like until you really get to know yourself and know
Speaker 1: who you are. So I was dating both of them,
Speaker 1: and the brother just didn't work out. But then I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, this is new and interesting. But he
Speaker 1: was filling out everything that I wanted on my list
Speaker 1: of getting to know me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Going We went to a concert, a classical concert. He
Speaker 1: loved it. You know, we're compatible. So it was like, huh,
Speaker 1: I'm compatible with him, and and then it just started
Speaker 1: dawning on me. Yam. We're living in a country that's
Speaker 1: got all different types of cultures. You mean to tell
Speaker 1: me we're not gonna find each other attractive. We gotta
Speaker 1: stop this, We gotta stop this is you. You're not
Speaker 1: doing this. You you playing out the culture. That's not true.
Speaker 1: Black men had been doing this for years. That is
Speaker 1: so true, Lonnie, that is so true. How many times
Speaker 1: have you been married? I've been married four times? Where
Speaker 1: the bell sound like a Laren plocks? Do you times?
Speaker 1: A lot of you ain't right? You've been back? Yes,
Speaker 1: I started, y'all. You gotta remember, I started, y'all because
Speaker 1: I was married by the time I graduated from high school.
Speaker 1: Because I got pregnant with Jada when I was in
Speaker 1: high school. So we got married. That was a month
Speaker 1: back then, like having an illegitimate child and my family
Speaker 1: was absolutely unacceptable. That just wasn't gonna happen. So I
Speaker 1: married at seventeen. That didn't last long. I guess we
Speaker 1: made it to a year maybe not? Wow? Okay, okay?
Speaker 1: And then then how how long were your other marriages?
Speaker 1: My second marriage lasted four years, my third marriage lasted
Speaker 1: for over twenty years. Yeah, and now my fourth marriage,
Speaker 1: we've been married for five years. Now. Oh, let's sleep.
Speaker 1: Oh when you ever ride Zilla? No, I was not.
Speaker 1: I actually love you or bride Zilla? I really do
Speaker 1: you be cracking me? Oh? But it feels like this
Speaker 1: is got to be scripted. There's no way in the
Speaker 1: world these women can be that crazy. Yes they are.
Speaker 1: They are. They seriously, they seriously are. And the reason
Speaker 1: why I wanted to do it was because they were
Speaker 1: mostly African American women. This is the season of bride Zilla,
Speaker 1: and usually they have a white voice, but because this
Speaker 1: season was predominantly African American women, they wanted an African
Speaker 1: American voice. And I didn't believe it at first either.
Speaker 1: That's these girls can't be this crazy. They are. They
Speaker 1: are straight up because that's their day, that's their one
Speaker 1: time to be that princess, and they want it right
Speaker 1: and it don't ever go right. They don't ever go right.
Speaker 1: Let's see my third only had I've been married for
Speaker 1: more times, but I only had two weddings. But my
Speaker 1: last wedding that I had, which and I always planned everything,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it was torrential torrential rain and the
Speaker 1: wedding was supposed to be outside by the water. Oh no,
Speaker 1: it was horrendous. I was crying. It was awful. It
Speaker 1: was awful, but but you had the wedding. Though we
Speaker 1: had it, my husband got me through it. He just
Speaker 1: was like, listen, it's gonna be okay because we're getting married.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be okay. And we were fine. We were fine.
Speaker 1: It ended up being great time for us. We made
Speaker 1: it work because at the end of the day, he
Speaker 1: really made me focus on the fact that it wasn't
Speaker 1: about the wedding. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't about
Speaker 1: the wedding. He sounds he sounds like a great guy.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. That's what you look for
Speaker 1: in a partner. But the thing is, okay, after is
Speaker 1: what made you want to get married again? Because that
Speaker 1: twenty years is a lot. It is it is I
Speaker 1: actually enjoy being married. I actually enjoy being married. We
Speaker 1: just grew apart, and I had lost my oldest sister.
Speaker 1: I had lost a cousin who was younger than me.
Speaker 1: She died from Both of them died from cancer, and
Speaker 1: I just kind of looked over my life and I
Speaker 1: was like, there are I have more years behind me
Speaker 1: that I have left in front of me, and I
Speaker 1: just I gotta be happy, and I just we weren't happy.
Speaker 1: And I don't even think he recognized it. I don't
Speaker 1: even think my husband at the time recognized it that
Speaker 1: he deserved to be loved the way he needed to
Speaker 1: be loved, But so did I. And and that's that
Speaker 1: just tells you how smart and how strong you are,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people will stay in long marriages
Speaker 1: because they feel like we've been together, we bought us,
Speaker 1: will stick together, but there's still that happiness, which kind
Speaker 1: of is what I like being single. I really I
Speaker 1: love the aspect of being single. I love the aspect
Speaker 1: of being an entertainer. But I needed that support system.
Speaker 1: And so then once I found it, I'm like, it's funny,
Speaker 1: because you know, I make jokes sometimes because I remember
Speaker 1: one time we were having sex and it was from
Speaker 1: the bat and I and I forgot he was white
Speaker 1: and people was like, hey, you forgetting he was. I
Speaker 1: was like no, because it wasn't about And then I looked,
Speaker 1: who is this white man? I'm like, oh, that's you know,
Speaker 1: that's James. H James. I totally saying. It's just you know,
Speaker 1: he puts up with me. That's that's another thing. I
Speaker 1: don't think too many brothers could be putting up with
Speaker 1: my jokes. He puts up with all the jokes. Listen,
Speaker 1: are you his first inter racial relationship? Yes? Yes, Well,
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm saying relationship. But did either of
Speaker 1: you ever date outside of the race, because dating doesn't
Speaker 1: always lead to a relationship, did you ever date anybody
Speaker 1: outside of your race? James didn't. Well, he dated Latina's.
Speaker 1: He liked he liked the Latina's. He dated them. But man,
Speaker 1: he got over here with the corn bread and the
Speaker 1: greens and it was like, yeah, it's a whole new day,
Speaker 1: that's a whole new thing. It's a Oh my god, Lord,
Speaker 1: have mercy. I cannot. I can't do it with you.
Speaker 1: I cannot let me ask you this though, on a
Speaker 1: on a more serious note, how do you all handle
Speaker 1: talking about issues of race, especially during these times? With
Speaker 1: the Trumpsters. And I don't even want to say the
Speaker 1: increase in white supremacy because it's always been there, it's
Speaker 1: just coming more to the forefront in the past couple
Speaker 1: of years. So how do you all manage that? And
Speaker 1: how do you how do you talk? I just feel
Speaker 1: like that would be so hard. And then let me
Speaker 1: just say too that there are there are several people
Speaker 1: in my family that are white. My nieces and nephews
Speaker 1: have married white. So I don't want to act like
Speaker 1: we all black over here. We know there are white
Speaker 1: people in in my family, and most of them are
Speaker 1: white women, and there is one white man, and we
Speaker 1: do not curve our conversation when it comes to race.
Speaker 1: I'm not curving or toning down what I say or
Speaker 1: how I feel because there's a white woman in the room.
Speaker 1: That's the most important thing. I mean for me, when
Speaker 1: I knew that, as I was getting to know him,
Speaker 1: the one thing I was serious about was would he
Speaker 1: be an ally. I needed to know his political affiliations.
Speaker 1: I needed to know his field. That's why you have they,
Speaker 1: That's why you have the dating period. The dating period
Speaker 1: is so important, and people don't they I didn't care
Speaker 1: so much about the money or things like that. I
Speaker 1: cared about what's your political affiliation, how do you see life?
Speaker 1: And so once I understood that he was an ally,
Speaker 1: then we could have conversations and I'm like you. When
Speaker 1: all that was going on, he was upset, and we
Speaker 1: actually started doing things to try to help. We went
Speaker 1: out and protest. We made sure that we raised funds,
Speaker 1: you know, for the Legal Defense Fund, for the n
Speaker 1: A a c P. We did all kinds of things
Speaker 1: together as a couple. But it's important that if you're
Speaker 1: going to be with a person, that they are your
Speaker 1: ally and I'm his ally for certain things. It's important,
Speaker 1: But I would never give myself to somebody who was
Speaker 1: a white supremacist or racist or doesn't even simply have
Speaker 1: my views. Now, when I'm talking about views, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about views when it comes to racial equality. I believe
Speaker 1: in equality for all people, and I believe in equity
Speaker 1: for all people. That's why you have to have hard conversations.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like I went and asked him. I
Speaker 1: would bring up situation to say, how you feel about
Speaker 1: this or how you feel about that? This is wrong?
Speaker 1: He was it was wrong. He's like I can't watch this.
Speaker 1: This is wrong and people shouldn't do that, you know
Speaker 1: what Trump was doing. He said, I don't like that,
Speaker 1: you know, And and that encouraged me. That let me
Speaker 1: know that he was serious. Because people could say one thing,
Speaker 1: but their actions speak a lot speak more. So that's
Speaker 1: you know. So I'm just like you. I don't curb.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm from Detroit. I don't stop. I don't
Speaker 1: say what I want to say from Detroit. I know
Speaker 1: I got a good girlfriend from Detroit. I know about
Speaker 1: folks from Detroit. We're not scared. We don't talk exactly.
Speaker 1: I want to go back and talk about I want
Speaker 1: to back up and talk about Bridezilla a little bit
Speaker 1: more because I really get a kick out of that show.
Speaker 1: And I have to say that I wasn't watching it before.
Speaker 1: I really wasn't. But this season with you on there, now,
Speaker 1: are you just are you just talking off the top
Speaker 1: of your head or are you scripting it in advance?
Speaker 1: Are you just coming off the top of your head
Speaker 1: with these situations? Well, what happened was initially, you know,
Speaker 1: they had me going into a studio and then COVID hit,
Speaker 1: And once COVID hit, we couldn't go into a studio,
Speaker 1: so I had to go into my closet and I
Speaker 1: would look at the show and I started writing like
Speaker 1: whatever I saw, and then I would tape it as
Speaker 1: I was writing it. It's just just being authentic. My
Speaker 1: my EP is wonderful EP, but he's not black, and
Speaker 1: so there were certain things that he would try to write.
Speaker 1: He would try to write some stuff or either yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, that's it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: And this is the importance of having black creatives and
Speaker 1: having black creatives kind of camera as well, because there
Speaker 1: are certain things it's like, no, we don't say that,
Speaker 1: or we wouldn't do that or something like that, and
Speaker 1: so that's what you see. And then there were some
Speaker 1: things that you toned down because it's like, no, we're
Speaker 1: not gonna say that about her, We're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: That's real talk. That's real. That's important. Yeah, that's real talk.
Speaker 1: I love all things weddings. I love all things wedding, Lonnie.
Speaker 1: So I told you before the show. I told you
Speaker 1: that my girlfriend just got a gate. So I'm excited
Speaker 1: about that. But does being part of this show, oh,
Speaker 1: change your attitude about marriage? And weddings. Like, because you
Speaker 1: have said before that you don't want to get married,
Speaker 1: do you still feel that way now that you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship that seems to be working so well for you.
Speaker 1: We are so compatible, and we're compatible because we're single.
Speaker 1: Still it. I'm like, I'm good. If it ain't broke,
Speaker 1: don't fix it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 1: That's it. But I like to I like seeing people
Speaker 1: in love. I like seeing people happy. And that's the
Speaker 1: reason why I took on the task of being the
Speaker 1: narrator because I know for some women this is their
Speaker 1: dream to have the beautiful dress and you know, to
Speaker 1: have that romantic moment. So I'm like, I'm I'm with you.
Speaker 1: I'm like you with your best friend. You want to
Speaker 1: see it happen. You want to see it happen, So
Speaker 1: I'm like making it happen. We had thirteen great brides
Speaker 1: and it was just all of it, you know, they
Speaker 1: all ended up. There was one girl her dad didn't
Speaker 1: show up. It was one girl her dad didn't show up.
Speaker 1: But other than that, you know, we had we had
Speaker 1: some great weddings and everybody was happy. Thank you so much, Lonnie.
Speaker 1: I have enjoyed this conversation. You are hilarious. I just
Speaker 1: didn't want to show up at the red table because
Speaker 1: when you show up, the red table was an issue.
Speaker 1: We were like, okay, Jada, oh my god, oh my god,
Speaker 1: gam Willow, this is what I feel. So I just
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I will come on. I will
Speaker 1: come on, gam show but that red table because I
Speaker 1: know it's a problem. It's gonna be a problem. Sitting
Speaker 1: there looking across and you and Jada like Okay, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, oh my gosh, we love you. We love you, Lonnie.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do the win you to Know segment. Tell
Speaker 1: me what book you're currently reading? The Promised lad but
Speaker 1: Rock Obama. Oh okay, okay, that's a long one. Are
Speaker 1: you reading it or are you listening to it? I'm
Speaker 1: reading it. I need to get the words I need
Speaker 1: to know. I'll try to improve my vocabulary. So you know,
Speaker 1: Obama used big words. So it's like, whoa, yeah, that's true,
Speaker 1: that's true. Okay, what's one thing you want to get
Speaker 1: off your chest? One thing I'm going to get off
Speaker 1: my chest. Where your damn mask the correct way? Some
Speaker 1: of y'all got the masks hanging down here, you corolla,
Speaker 1: all up in your damn nose. Some of you you dirty,
Speaker 1: got dirty masks, got old masks, keep it clean, wearing
Speaker 1: the right way. And some of y'all need to make
Speaker 1: sure that the mask fit. You know, us plus size people,
Speaker 1: it's like the mask just be covered like right here,
Speaker 1: you know, especially I see a bunch of men a
Speaker 1: lot of times because they got bigger faces, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's like the beard and all this is like, no,
Speaker 1: get a mask, it's gonna cover all that up. And
Speaker 1: we're right, that's who I need to get that. Thank you.
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, it's important. It's
Speaker 1: important that we all do our part if we're gonna
Speaker 1: get through this pandemic. Last question, what's a motto that
Speaker 1: you live by? The model that I live by. Speak
Speaker 1: the truth even if your voice shakes. Ah, all right now,
Speaker 1: I'm packed that a little bit. Yeah, even if you
Speaker 1: don't think that you have the vocabulary, even if you
Speaker 1: think you sound like you do a bunch of arms.
Speaker 1: If it's the truth, still speaking, it does not matter.
Speaker 1: Don't let nobody stop you from telling your truth. That's
Speaker 1: what's important. Wow. I love that. I love that that's
Speaker 1: a word. I need to remember that for myself, for
Speaker 1: myself because self confidence is something that I still struggle with.
Speaker 1: Before we go, please tell people I know they know,
Speaker 1: but please share with people where they can see you
Speaker 1: on social media and what you have coming up. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can follow me a comic Lonnie Love on i
Speaker 1: G or you can follow me a Lonnie Love on
Speaker 1: Twitter and I do answer people back. My new show
Speaker 1: is called Little Women Atlanta Unfiltered. It's the after show.
Speaker 1: It's my first executive produced show. So it's gonna be
Speaker 1: on Lifetime Fridays like eleven. So I'm just so excited
Speaker 1: for that. And of course the real you can check
Speaker 1: your local listings in the daytime. So and this season
Speaker 1: thirteen of RuPaul's Drag Race, I am a guest judge
Speaker 1: because of COVID. I got asked back like four times. Um,
Speaker 1: it's a wonderful season, some wonderful queens. So check us
Speaker 1: out on v H one on Friday's. Absolutely, I love
Speaker 1: RuPaul's Drag Race. We would definitely be looking for you there.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Lonnie. So these are my takeaways
Speaker 1: after my fun conversation with Lonnie Love. Number one when
Speaker 1: choosing a mate, it's more about finding someone who you're
Speaker 1: compatible with. You should be an allied to each other,
Speaker 1: regardless of race. Number two. It may take you a
Speaker 1: minute to get there, but it is totally free to
Speaker 1: live like fully in acceptance of who you really are.
Speaker 1: A number three. These are difficult times for sure, but
Speaker 1: laughing can be the best medicine. Thank you to my
Speaker 1: guests Lonnie Love. If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be
Speaker 1: sure to rate and review. Follow me on my Instagram
Speaker 1: at Gammy Narris to share with me your thoughts on
Speaker 1: the episode. I'm here, I'm talking, and I'm laughing. As always,
Speaker 1: stay grateful, y'all. Positively gam is produced by Westbrook Audio
Speaker 1: Executive producers Adrian Vanfield, Naris, Jada Pinkett Smith, Amanda Brown
Speaker 1: and Fallon jethro Co Executive producer Sam Holti, Associate producer
Speaker 1: Erica Ron and Crystal Devone, Editor and mixer Calvin Bailiff.
Speaker 1: Positively Gam is in partnership with Art nineteen