Speaker 1: Everything you go through, you learn. I think that all
Speaker 1: men should study and understand postpartum. Agreed, because the problem
Speaker 1: is I had no clue. And if I could really
Speaker 1: apologize to my kid's mom for one major thing, it
Speaker 1: was my ignorance to how postpartum works. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you why.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to good mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 2: I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy homp Day, My love. How
Speaker 2: you feeling, I'm great. You guys, we are in Miami.
Speaker 3: Hey, you know this is our first time. This is
Speaker 3: the first time being in Miami together. True, and also recording,
Speaker 3: and I am the best. I don't think we should
Speaker 3: have ever been here in our twenties together, you know what.
Speaker 3: I I'm a firm believer that our friendship happened towards
Speaker 3: our end of our late twenties early thirties because we
Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to handle being friends in our younger twenties.
Speaker 3: It would have just been like level ten wretchedness. So
Speaker 3: for the best of the people, for humanity, and for ourselves,
Speaker 3: we've only made it to Miami together at thirty five,
Speaker 3: when we're more a little bit more mature. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm having a good time. Can you take I just
Speaker 3: this is my first time really talking a lot today,
Speaker 3: so I feel like you can hear the recovery in
Speaker 3: my voice. Lots of things have happened in the last
Speaker 3: three days.
Speaker 2: It's true. I sa our friend's birthday. So we're out
Speaker 2: here shout out to cash Ley and so we've been
Speaker 2: We've been, you know, good momming, bad choicing.
Speaker 3: I feel like every time we're like, I coming to share.
Speaker 3: But I have this mental conversation with myself and I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know what, you're older like, we're gonna relax, We're
Speaker 3: gonna like get creative. We're gonna relax, drink a lot
Speaker 3: of water and do some work. And then I get
Speaker 3: to where I'm going and then I lose all sense
Speaker 3: of all of that shit. I'm like drugs, alcohol, pool parties.
Speaker 3: So that's where I'm at. Anyway, how are you feeling
Speaker 3: about your You've been kind of turned up, have I Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're a very white girl wasted yesterday.
Speaker 2: Oh thanks, we.
Speaker 3: Were talking about you when you're looking or like, wow,
Speaker 3: look at you can totally tell me Eric is drunk. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because you act like a drunken white girl.
Speaker 2: Perfect.
Speaker 3: Nisia said she's so nice when she's drunk. You can
Speaker 3: totally tell her demeanor changes.
Speaker 2: I was like, Damniti, she she's saying she's the post
Speaker 2: being a bitch all the time. Perfect. I love that.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Anisha. Thanks No. I've just been enjoying myself.
Speaker 2: I'm on vacation, I feelly. I haven't had a vacation
Speaker 2: a while, even though it does look like our life
Speaker 2: is a vacation. I know to some of you guys,
Speaker 2: it's fucking not. So I've been just indulging, relaxing, and
Speaker 2: I've had a great time. We had a book signing
Speaker 2: shout out to NICKI. Thank you so much Nikki for
Speaker 2: putting together our book signing work at Moms and everyone
Speaker 2: that showed up and came out. I'm like, really happy
Speaker 2: that we really do have a Florida try about here.
Speaker 2: It was really cool to meet everybody and connect and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bessie, well, without further ado, because I know the
Speaker 3: YouTubers hate when we do this. We have a very
Speaker 3: special guest with us today, you guys know, and June.
Speaker 3: We'd like to celebrate our zaddies. It's fine Zaddi June,
Speaker 3: our annual find Zaddy June is with us again, and
Speaker 3: today we've traveled to Miami and we're getting some Miami
Speaker 3: Florida guest and today we have producer, artist songwriter father
Speaker 3: Rico Love.
Speaker 1: What's up with I'm listening. I'm like, damn, we got
Speaker 1: really good podcast voices. I don't know if I have
Speaker 1: the podcast voice. I was like, damn, I got to
Speaker 1: compete with some amazing voices. Here.
Speaker 3: You are the voice.
Speaker 1: What you're talking about.
Speaker 2: All you do is curate voices.
Speaker 1: What you do, That's why I can hear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say, but if you think that
Speaker 2: we have great voices, I will take that. Hear that
Speaker 2: guy's real love things. We have great voices.
Speaker 3: You know what. I'm happy you said that because last
Speaker 3: night I came to the conclusion I just remembered. You
Speaker 3: just reminded me. I was someone told us like, the
Speaker 3: streaming money is where it's at, and I was like, well,
Speaker 3: not in podcasting. And then she was like we should
Speaker 3: do a collab and I was like, Erica, podcasting is over,
Speaker 3: were rapping or we're going to be a group, so
Speaker 3: figure it out.
Speaker 1: And streaming in music.
Speaker 3: She was like, the streaming money is crazy and literally
Speaker 3: was like, so we're going to start rapping. I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, but if City Girls could do it,
Speaker 3: so can we. I don't know if you heard Rico,
Speaker 3: but we're the City Girls a podcast.
Speaker 1: Okay, I.
Speaker 3: Have a problem told us that he did say that.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I co signed that. You do
Speaker 2: you do like fifty City Girls fifty? I don't know, Oprah, Okay, I.
Speaker 3: Was gonna say six for to six. You're pushing it
Speaker 3: very five? What's the Wasted White Girl podcast?
Speaker 2: That is not what we are.
Speaker 1: I saw this clip of Tony Braxton speaking about how
Speaker 1: mean Oprah was to her on the show. And I
Speaker 1: saw the clip and Tony Braxton had just foul for
Speaker 1: bankruptcy and she went on Opra to talk about it,
Speaker 1: and Oprah was like berating her, Like it was like,
Speaker 1: do you feel like it's your fault? She was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm Oprah. You don't you have Gucci plates? And she
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you know, I'm Oprah and I don't
Speaker 1: have Gucci plates. And it was what was going on.
Speaker 2: She's trying to put in perspective for her. I mean,
Speaker 2: I might need to release those Gucci plates.
Speaker 3: I bit you think, I don't. I don't. I'm not surprised,
Speaker 3: like does Oprah seem like the nice aunt?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just always thought Oprah seem really nice.
Speaker 1: I know, her stance on the N where was always really.
Speaker 2: Weird to me, because what is her stance on the
Speaker 2: N word?
Speaker 1: Anybody says it, but that's like a grandmother energy exactly
Speaker 1: like somebody's. But I just thought she was aggressive about
Speaker 1: the conversation about it. You know, when I see I
Speaker 1: love I don't know if it's cool to say, but
Speaker 1: I love Cosby right, like.
Speaker 2: Everything goes here, just love Cosby.
Speaker 1: But I would always get upset when he would criticize
Speaker 1: the younger generation and names. And I feel the same
Speaker 1: way about Steve Harvey. I just don't. Really, I'm not
Speaker 1: a fan.
Speaker 2: Don't don't get her started. But I just I didn't
Speaker 2: have to look over.
Speaker 1: I hated the way that he was always anti his
Speaker 1: anti blackness young and you know, and I definitely as
Speaker 1: a forty year old now, I always say I have
Speaker 1: to say I'm forty at least six times a day
Speaker 1: because you yourself, whenever you turn forty, you always are saying, like, bro,
Speaker 1: I'm forty, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't shame about the new ship.
Speaker 1: It is like, I'm I'm smart.
Speaker 2: I don't do that no more forty like.
Speaker 1: That, you like, I'm forty years what are you talking about? No?
Speaker 1: But as a forty year I do look at things
Speaker 1: that this generation does and I'm a little bit annoyed.
Speaker 1: But I always think to myself, I'm in a business
Speaker 1: where I have to try to understand it, right. So
Speaker 1: I think that the Oprahs, that Bill Cosby's and the
Speaker 1: Steve Abbys of the world, I don't think they gave
Speaker 1: my generation to fear a shot and how to you know,
Speaker 1: perceive It's always a really harsh criticism it. So I
Speaker 1: think that now that I'm the age that they were
Speaker 1: when they were doing that, to me, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit I understand it a little bit.
Speaker 1: But my approach to it is never like what are
Speaker 1: y'all doing and y'all shouldn't do this, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: I remember when Bill Cosby want in a tire rate
Speaker 1: about stop naming your daughter's laquishiaq was. I remember that
Speaker 1: and I was so annoyed with that because I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's not that's somebody's name, and you know, you guys
Speaker 1: will figure out and figure out a name for some
Speaker 1: crazy Russian and some you know, like difficult name that
Speaker 1: you feel like is European, but then you have a
Speaker 1: hard time saying Laquishia. It's very easy to say Luquisia.
Speaker 1: We said it.
Speaker 3: I feel I agree. I feel like we got we
Speaker 3: got worship to worry about, like then somebody's fucking name.
Speaker 3: I also feel like I feel like I feel like
Speaker 3: there's a thin line too, because some of the shit
Speaker 3: be some like level four hundred nigga shit, and I'm embarrassed,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like I get it, like
Speaker 3: I'm I I'm with the ships and I'm and I
Speaker 3: don't like, I don't like us judging each other, like
Speaker 3: like I hate that, like we already got enough shit
Speaker 3: to like to deal with with everybody else judging us
Speaker 3: and putting like stereotypes on us and us walking into
Speaker 3: a building and have to like battle all those things
Speaker 3: before even getting to anything. So I hate that we
Speaker 3: do it to each other, especially like niggas like Steve Harvey.
Speaker 3: I feel like he's like a performative monkey.
Speaker 2: Tell the people how you say, you know, I think
Speaker 2: you made.
Speaker 3: A comment about like perform like he don't. He don't. Basically,
Speaker 3: he didn't mind like chucking and jiving for the for
Speaker 3: the check is what he said.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think that people of hit his
Speaker 2: level of success have had to make certain sacrifices and
Speaker 2: fit into certain boxes, and so they then think that
Speaker 2: everyone else, in order to reach that level of success
Speaker 2: needs to follow the blueprint that he followed, and if
Speaker 2: they don't, there's judgment there. And also he comes from
Speaker 2: a different time too, right, And now the whole thing, yeah,
Speaker 2: where things were not there is very black and white.
Speaker 1: I get the perspective of I come from this time,
Speaker 1: and I get the perspective of this is how you
Speaker 1: should behave because that part of it I get. But
Speaker 1: I think that the approach, so when I talk about Steve,
Speaker 1: or when I talk about Oprah or even mister Cosby,
Speaker 1: is never like a y'all. I hate that y'all. I
Speaker 1: think that the understanding of that the times are different
Speaker 1: is there, but the approach in which you say is
Speaker 1: always there. And I'm a big approach person. I'm a
Speaker 1: big Something can turn me off totally, even if it's
Speaker 1: I agree with what you're saying, But if the approach
Speaker 1: is like, bro, like, I think we should try to
Speaker 1: lead with love and be kind first, and that's better
Speaker 1: because what you're what broke my heart about Bill Cosby
Speaker 1: was like, you're telling people that the reason why you're
Speaker 1: not getting these jobs is because your name and your daughters.
Speaker 1: This is and it's like you're telling black people that
Speaker 1: we can't express ourselves in certain ways and we can't
Speaker 1: be unapologetically black because it'll hinder our relationship with corporate
Speaker 1: White America. That is not something that a person who's
Speaker 1: donated millions and millions and millions of dollars to HBCUs
Speaker 1: should not be, you know, speaking like, Yeah, that shouldn't
Speaker 1: be your approach my opinion, But.
Speaker 3: I think it encourages us to perform. It encourages us
Speaker 3: to like fit into these boxes and to and and
Speaker 3: unfortunately we've all we've all been like uh in ways,
Speaker 3: we've all had to be a product of that. Right,
Speaker 3: you walk into the bank, you know how to talk,
Speaker 3: you walk into the place, you know. But what I
Speaker 3: find and this is my biggest argument when I like
Speaker 3: people bring up shit like this, like, as black people,
Speaker 3: you can't wear the bonnet. As black people, you can't
Speaker 3: be loud. And of course I've gone to places and
Speaker 3: niggas during nigga shit and I'm completely fucking embarrassed. Shut
Speaker 3: the fuck off, you're embarrassing us all. But my dad
Speaker 3: like put that like heavily on me or like you know,
Speaker 3: my dad was like, don't wear we ves and like
Speaker 3: all these things. And there are certain you know, like
Speaker 3: black people in our chuest natures were expressive, loud, like happy, full,
Speaker 3: colorful people. So it's like it doesn't make sense for
Speaker 3: us to try and conform to this like bland, saltless whiteness,
Speaker 3: like we're never going to be that. So that it
Speaker 3: irritates me too, and I and I so I agree some.
Speaker 1: Things annoying me across racial line, like regardless. So if
Speaker 1: I'm on the airplane and the plane lands and somebody
Speaker 1: gets on the phone and they're like he's a white guy,
Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, we're a terminal shiit, Like bro,
Speaker 1: the same thing is when I get on the plane
Speaker 1: and I hear a black person no matter what color.
Speaker 1: But what I do notice is like frat guys are
Speaker 1: going to Vegas, right, You go to Vegas and you
Speaker 1: get in the plane and a bunch of the junk
Speaker 1: white guys are like, bro, you're in the fucking in
Speaker 1: obacam in first class. Like that's like it's annoying. But
Speaker 1: people are like whatever, but we do it. But the
Speaker 1: word nigga scares the shit out of people. So when
Speaker 1: people like.
Speaker 3: I kind of love it, I kind of love it.
Speaker 3: I love to kind of see white people squirm a
Speaker 3: little bit, like you're uncomfortable behind the.
Speaker 1: Reason why it makes me uncomfortable in the sense that
Speaker 1: I don't like us. I don't like us representing ourselves
Speaker 1: like that. I prefer not to share it around white
Speaker 1: people unless they friends of mine, because if they're friends
Speaker 1: of mine, I'm like, nigga, I told you, they can't
Speaker 1: see it. But I just feel like when I see
Speaker 1: it in public, I'm like, we don't have to behave
Speaker 1: this way. And the problem is Bruce. Bruce says something
Speaker 1: years ago that I thought it was genius. He said,
Speaker 1: I if a white man walks in here right now.
Speaker 1: The difference between perceptions is if a white man walks
Speaker 1: in here right now and he acts crazy and he's
Speaker 1: drunk and he's belligerent, we'll say that white dude is crazy, right,
Speaker 1: black man comes and does the same thing. The consensus
Speaker 1: is black people, So I always keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: I always consider like, even if I'm in a situation
Speaker 1: where I be upset, I always behave myself in a way,
Speaker 1: understanding that when I do something, I'm representing all of us,
Speaker 1: even though it's not fair. Sometimes I definitely, but I
Speaker 1: keep it in mind because I want to make sure
Speaker 1: that nobody can leave the situation and saying even if
Speaker 1: it's wrong, even if they're there, which is most of
Speaker 1: the time wrong to judge somebody based off one experience
Speaker 1: or judge a group of People's wrong to judge one
Speaker 1: person off one experience, but it's even worse to judge
Speaker 1: a whole race of people because of one experience you
Speaker 1: have with one person on a Thursday night at a
Speaker 1: club who was upset, right, So I always keep in
Speaker 1: mind that it does happen, and I know that we
Speaker 1: can't lift certain things down, so I make sure I
Speaker 1: behave myself even when I'm angry. But I always believe
Speaker 1: that we don't know who anybody is until they're angry.
Speaker 1: So I always if I'm a good person, I'm a
Speaker 1: good person. Angry. I'm a good person. Happy, I'm a
Speaker 1: good person, said, how do I behave in a situation?
Speaker 1: I'm basing that off of who I am and my character.
Speaker 1: Your character does not mean the mood character is different.
Speaker 3: It's gonna it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: My mood can be can change, but my character can
Speaker 1: never be. Question you can never change your character. Your
Speaker 1: mood can change, never change the character. When's your birthday?
Speaker 3: Oh yes, sad, I was gonna say something totally still
Speaker 3: totally like some immature we're gonna say something important.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, I work at now.
Speaker 3: I need no speaking of imagery and representing the blacks,
Speaker 3: have you guys, have you guys seen Sukiana with a
Speaker 3: good CoA cheese video where she's getting walked like a
Speaker 3: dog with my blue face, I don't know one of
Speaker 3: the babies, one of the blues and.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it isn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know we're gonna get we gotta brush up
Speaker 3: on our rappers. So I don't like old. What do
Speaker 3: you guys think? Were you guys disappointed in her being
Speaker 3: walked like a.
Speaker 1: Dog or I'm not disappointed in anything. That's her character,
Speaker 1: that's who, that's the character she plays.
Speaker 3: It's at least her brand and support the brand. I
Speaker 3: wasn't really that mad at that. I said. This was
Speaker 3: her idea, so it wasn't.
Speaker 1: Like he suggested it. But I also have seen her
Speaker 1: in the honest moments, and I understand it's a character
Speaker 1: when when Jessica Simpson first came out and she's like
Speaker 1: fishing to.
Speaker 3: See is that right? Right?
Speaker 1: She knew that she's not a moron. I know her
Speaker 1: best friend, Casey right, we met years ago and she's
Speaker 1: a good friend of mine. And I hung around Jessica
Speaker 1: once and I was like, she's actually brilliant.
Speaker 3: Another name Jessica Jessica Simpsons talk about name is Jessica.
Speaker 1: No. But what I say is that when a white
Speaker 1: girl acts really dumb and makes millions of dollars and
Speaker 1: creates a brand off being a moron, then it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, but to understand to not even be able
Speaker 1: to wrap your mind around the potential idea that this
Speaker 1: black girl is smart enough to sell take it a bag.
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people I don't know
Speaker 1: a lot of guys that said said they fuck her,
Speaker 1: and guys took like you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I know a lot of guys, and I'd be like, right.
Speaker 1: So the point is this part of this has to
Speaker 1: be performative. Part is this has to say that this
Speaker 1: is a this is a brank, this is an opening, and.
Speaker 2: We're all we live in social media times. Is it
Speaker 2: is performative. But I think about too, like you saying that,
Speaker 2: you know, when a black person does something wild, that
Speaker 2: it like categorized the whole community. And so I think
Speaker 2: when she did that, a lot of people were mad
Speaker 2: because they're like, oh, she's taking women back, taking black women,
Speaker 2: and that's what's gonna say. That's what I was going
Speaker 2: to say. I was like, you know, it's true because
Speaker 2: they people were mad at that as well, even though
Speaker 2: it was this woman's free will. She chose to do that,
Speaker 2: no one made her, and she's she's she seems very
Speaker 2: assertive in who she is. Doesn't seem like anyone's gonna
Speaker 2: force her to do shit.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious to me. I think it's comedy. I don't
Speaker 1: look at it. It's even like you know, like she's promoting.
Speaker 1: I think it's comedy. I think she's making a huge
Speaker 1: joke and I don't think anybody is laughing. But I
Speaker 1: think that a lot of people were laughing, like, but
Speaker 1: I'm with her. I'm thinking, but I'm thinking some people
Speaker 1: are not understanding that this is well. I think behind
Speaker 1: closed doors, she's like, are they nuts? They really believe that?
Speaker 1: I believe this stuff?
Speaker 3: You know, she's smart. She's the only reason I started
Speaker 3: following her is because she was like a big She
Speaker 3: was a big like she was supporting like breastfeeding. She's
Speaker 3: a lot of kids, and how she was like breastfeeding
Speaker 3: and how it's like much more like healthy. I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting this from her, but that's where I
Speaker 3: started following her. So it's your like you said, perception
Speaker 3: and what and then it's like you do one thing
Speaker 3: and it's a maybe a slither of your existence and
Speaker 3: then everybody's like perceives that that's your whole existence, and
Speaker 3: like like he's like especially for women, especially for black people,
Speaker 3: especially for mothers, especially for fathers, And I think like
Speaker 3: even for us, we talk a lot of shit, we
Speaker 3: tall a lot of our business and obviously like people,
Speaker 3: we can listen to us in all seven hundred fucking
Speaker 3: hours for the last five years, but it's still a
Speaker 3: very small of who we are, you know, but you
Speaker 3: see a thirty second clip and I'm like, and.
Speaker 1: That's what when you said earlier? So you don't like
Speaker 1: when black people judge each other. And I think that
Speaker 1: that's the key, Like we have to be able to
Speaker 1: be open enough to realize that this is a person
Speaker 1: speaking about one element or aspect of their life at
Speaker 1: one period of their life, one moment, how we feel,
Speaker 1: and we also have to understand it. Sometimes you'll blurt
Speaker 1: out something just based on the first reaction, and later
Speaker 1: on you'll think about it, like I don't think I
Speaker 1: agree with what I said earlier. Right, we have to
Speaker 1: give each other that luxury. It's almost like a picture,
Speaker 1: right when people see like a picture of I don't know,
Speaker 1: Nicki minaj right, Nicki Minajen. It's a bad picture, right,
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, oh my gosh, she looks terrible,
Speaker 1: But you just had your friend take a picture for
Speaker 1: you fifty times because you didn't like the way that picture.
Speaker 1: Now she don't get to tell paparazzi let's take this
Speaker 1: picture again. She's just walking and being herself. So I
Speaker 1: think that we have to be open and these are moments,
Speaker 1: these are seconds, these are quick spurts of reactions sometimes
Speaker 1: that people have. We have to give each other the
Speaker 1: grace to say, you know, maybe she just was feeling
Speaker 1: that at the moment, or maybe she was just a
Speaker 1: little bit you know, she just was being spontaneous and
Speaker 1: voicing out something that may not necessarily be how she
Speaker 1: views things. And I think with Sukiana, though, I think
Speaker 1: it's like it seems very strategic and I get it.
Speaker 1: And it's like with Charlamagne, and when Charlamagne came out,
Speaker 1: I hated Charlemage. When he first came out there, I
Speaker 1: thought he was gossipy. I remember doing Breakfast Club. I
Speaker 1: remember doing Breakfast Club a few times and he would
Speaker 1: say things and I was just like, no, bro, you
Speaker 1: got to give. And he would. I saw he was
Speaker 1: he would do it on purpose. Yeah, but I see
Speaker 1: that now he's coming around. I've always now I have
Speaker 1: for the past like maybe seven eight years, I've had
Speaker 1: this few mungous respect for him and I know him personally.
Speaker 1: But I think that to watch the evolution is the key,
Speaker 1: Like we should always understand it. Okay, I can't hate
Speaker 1: you or not like you because of this thing I
Speaker 1: saw you say in two thousand and five, and then
Speaker 1: I see in twenty fifteen, in twenty twenty two and
Speaker 1: twenty three, and I don't like you, and it's like no,
Speaker 1: it's just like this person has, you know, like an evolution.
Speaker 1: It's like I've had an evolution. This person has the opportunity,
Speaker 1: should have the opportunity. You have that evolution. Now, if
Speaker 1: that doesn't change, then I can maintain my level of annoyance.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of evolution, I want to get to know
Speaker 2: you a little better. I really don't know much about you,
Speaker 2: Greco Love, So, like, where are you from? What's your
Speaker 2: what's what's your what's your story? Obviously you're a major
Speaker 2: producer songwriter, but like, who were you before? Have you
Speaker 2: always been this? Like I'm like kind, open, accepting human.
Speaker 1: You know, it's really cool. This is super humbling and
Speaker 1: nice because I've never done anything with people who didn't
Speaker 1: know me right, So that's cool because it feels like
Speaker 1: you can ask me and speak to me from away
Speaker 1: and not perceive or assume anything because you really kind
Speaker 1: of don't know much about me.
Speaker 2: I'm gon keep it on, I'm gonna keep it one hundred.
Speaker 2: I We've did very minimal research, and I said, you
Speaker 2: know what. We're just going to talk him like we
Speaker 2: do and to know him right here.
Speaker 1: Cool. So I'm a songwriter and producer. I grew up
Speaker 1: in between Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and New York. My mother's from Milwaukee,
Speaker 1: my dad's from New York. My parents I went back
Speaker 1: and forth with my parents growing up. I write and
Speaker 1: produced music.
Speaker 2: I've also, have you always liked since a child been
Speaker 2: into music?
Speaker 1: I've always been into music. I started my rap career.
Speaker 1: I started as a rapper and I was signed to
Speaker 1: Usher as a rapper. That's how I got my start,
Speaker 1: and then I ended up writing a song on a
Speaker 1: Confessions album to so, I wrote a song called Throwback
Speaker 1: on the Confessions album and I co wrote a song
Speaker 1: called Seduction, and that was my first time writing songs.
Speaker 1: And after that, after the label stuff fell too, I
Speaker 1: just kept writing songs.
Speaker 3: So that was never your intention. You're just going to
Speaker 3: be a rapper. And then I said what I was
Speaker 3: going to be?
Speaker 2: Jay Z were like, wait, I can actually write R
Speaker 2: and B songs?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And a lot of rappers actually are pretty good
Speaker 2: R and B writers.
Speaker 3: Well it because if you're a lyricist and you can,
Speaker 3: you can do it fast. You can slow it down.
Speaker 1: No, I think it's not. I think it's the melodic sensibility.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times artists now forced to
Speaker 1: be melodic in today's age because that's where music is,
Speaker 1: so the ones who cut through are usually the most
Speaker 1: melodic ones. I don't necessarily think that it's an absolute
Speaker 1: skill in this day and age. I think that some
Speaker 1: people are extremely talented. But I think in order for
Speaker 1: a record to work now melodically, it doesn't take much,
Speaker 1: you know. I think fans now they like they appreciate
Speaker 1: the person and then if the song is okay, we'll accept,
Speaker 1: we'll elevate, we'll exalt this song because we like you
Speaker 1: so much. When I hear a lot of great, big, big,
Speaker 1: big artists with okay songs that people absolutely love because
Speaker 1: they love the artists. So it's different. When I was
Speaker 1: coming up in the business, it was more like if
Speaker 1: you had a hit, you were golden.
Speaker 2: Well, you didn't have a lot of I mean back then,
Speaker 2: there wasn't a lot of access. You didn't feel like
Speaker 2: you can know the artists. It almost felt like they
Speaker 2: were like this bigger than life person, which they still are.
Speaker 2: But because of social media, you can actually go on
Speaker 2: their page, see their tiktoks, get to know them, fall
Speaker 2: in love with them, so that when they put their
Speaker 2: music out, even if it ain't that great, they're like, well,
Speaker 2: I fuck with them on social investors, whereas before it's
Speaker 2: like you don't really know this, you really got a
Speaker 2: fund us.
Speaker 1: Was really cool. The fact that I didn't know Whitney Houston,
Speaker 1: even though she was my girlfriend, Like, but the fact
Speaker 1: that I didn't know her was really cool. It made
Speaker 1: me like wow. Or the fact that the distance between
Speaker 1: and I was very obviously very young, with the distance
Speaker 1: between the Thriller album and a bad album was eight years,
Speaker 1: and that was like anticipation. I can't wait now if
Speaker 1: you don't put out a record every lease in two
Speaker 1: years something like yeah, a new act has to put
Speaker 1: out music at least every other you know, a month
Speaker 1: or quarter right something a project and then established act.
Speaker 1: You can't go too long. Beyonce it has that luxury,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because she's Beyonce, and also
Speaker 1: she has to do other things with that within that time,
Speaker 1: because it's it's in the wather have you done for
Speaker 1: me lately? Era? But I think that when I was
Speaker 1: you know, coming up in the business with a level
Speaker 1: of mystique. It was level of I don't know much
Speaker 1: about you, and that's the beauty of it. But now
Speaker 1: it's like you almost have to figure out how to
Speaker 1: sell your relationship and your publicist has to put you
Speaker 1: in this place, and like literally people are linking up
Speaker 1: like you know, like, oh, I'm gonna date this person
Speaker 1: in you know, money bag Yo. MEGANI Stallion were dating
Speaker 1: for a little while because the publishers were like, this
Speaker 1: could be a good look, this thing will happen over here.
Speaker 1: So I think that that has shifted and changed the
Speaker 1: narrative musically. But in my case, when I came into business,
Speaker 1: it was you know, through usher and I ended up
Speaker 1: writing a song and realized I had a gift, and
Speaker 1: I just kept going and kept doing and kept doing
Speaker 1: and kept doing so when the label stuff fell through,
Speaker 1: I just continued to write records, you know. But that's
Speaker 1: in a nutshell what I do. I write and produce records.
Speaker 1: I also have a music conference called that We Love
Speaker 1: Music Conference. I do mentor. I mentor up and coming
Speaker 1: producers and artists. Up until very recently, as the vice
Speaker 1: chairman of the Grammys, I was, I'm actually the vice
Speaker 1: chairman of the Grammys until June first. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: still have to I did say that, but I'm also
Speaker 1: the chairman of the BMC, which is the Black Music
Speaker 1: The Grammy.
Speaker 2: Is rigged, no, because they be pissing me the funk off.
Speaker 1: No, No, But but I'm not actually.
Speaker 2: Second No, No, it comes out after this comes out
Speaker 2: after first.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you this, how how does the
Speaker 1: Grammys work?
Speaker 3: People vote?
Speaker 1: Who votes the industry? Right who?
Speaker 3: Not the people?
Speaker 2: Not the people? People, not the people, y'all vote.
Speaker 1: It's not the people's choice of warr Who is y'all
Speaker 1: the board?
Speaker 2: Who the Grammy board?
Speaker 1: All right, So see that's the first that's the first step. Right,
Speaker 1: that's the first step. Right when you're watching the basketball game,
Speaker 1: you could say the referee is cheating because I know
Speaker 1: who is officiating the game. A lot of people say,
Speaker 1: is the Grammy's rigged? And then I asked them, who,
Speaker 1: how does it work? And you guys have no clue? Right, Well?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 2: I just feel like there's people in there that have
Speaker 2: and like it's in their best interest for certain people
Speaker 2: that they know. I don't know. Different. You're a producer, right,
Speaker 2: So wouldn't it being your best interest for one of
Speaker 2: your artists dominated.
Speaker 1: Having all my artists been nominated.
Speaker 2: Because there's other producers that are also on this board
Speaker 2: that also want their people.
Speaker 1: Okay, so which one of them has their artists in it?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We don't know, right, I don't know. So we got
Speaker 1: But this is the thing, right, when people on social
Speaker 1: media and they're talking about things, they don't have me
Speaker 1: or anybody else to stand there and ask them those
Speaker 1: counter questions because if they did, they would respond just
Speaker 1: like you did, like, damn, I don't really do.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you the better question. Do you think
Speaker 2: the Grammys actually represent what is what we as as
Speaker 2: a people are interested in? Like I find that a
Speaker 2: lot of times people win Grammys and I'm like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck?
Speaker 1: Okay, So who are the people you're talking about?
Speaker 2: The listeners, the people that are buying the music.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's the problem. We have a smaller percentage
Speaker 1: of black members who actually vote. So the problem is
Speaker 1: there's gonna be discrepancies. It's going to be definitely a
Speaker 1: different point of view when it comes to who wins
Speaker 1: and who loses. If black people and people of color
Speaker 1: aren't involved in the voting process. So what happens is
Speaker 1: if you release a certain amount of records and you
Speaker 1: qualify to be a voting member, but you're not a
Speaker 1: voting member. I asked for a rapper say I'm not nominated.
Speaker 1: Why I'm not nominated? I'll say, are you a voting member? No?
Speaker 3: How do you? How do you voting member?
Speaker 1: You go down to grammy dot com. You're clicking, I'm
Speaker 1: very serious. Go to grammy dot com right now. You
Speaker 1: click the those three slat tab on its corner. It's
Speaker 1: gonna things gonna open up. It's gonna say membership. You
Speaker 1: click membership, and it's going to show you where you
Speaker 1: can qualify. Every March you can qualify. March first is
Speaker 1: where the deadline ends. But between February and March weather
Speaker 1: you can become a register to be a voting member.
Speaker 1: And so many people qualify to be voting members. If
Speaker 1: every artist, if every black artist, all of their engineers,
Speaker 1: all of their producers, they're managed. Everybody who qualifies signed
Speaker 1: up to be voting members. Then when the ballots come around,
Speaker 1: when nominations come up, you can submit yourself and to
Speaker 1: be there. The thing about the Grammys is is not
Speaker 1: about who's the most popular. So when people say why
Speaker 1: wasn't such and such nominated, they had the biggest album,
Speaker 1: and then you'll say, well, why this person won't because
Speaker 1: it was a better album based on the voting members. Now,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's situations where Adele winds album in the year
Speaker 1: and she says, I don't deserve this. Beyonce deserves this.
Speaker 1: But it's not because there's a bunch of white people
Speaker 1: in a little small room saying we like Adele Veteran's
Speaker 1: fits our narrative. No, it's because the voting members are
Speaker 1: more familiar with that Adele record than they are that
Speaker 1: Beyonce record. And sometimes they don't vote for what they
Speaker 1: listen to. They vote for who they recognize. So what
Speaker 1: we have to do is we have to become voting
Speaker 1: members and make sure that we fight the power and
Speaker 1: we make sure we say I'm gonna speak up and
Speaker 1: speak out for this particular artist because I believe in them.
Speaker 1: And if we have a bunch of people people fighting
Speaker 1: for certain artists, is this thing called for your consideration?
Speaker 1: Fo I see? And artists will put up a for
Speaker 1: your consideration post on Instagram. Into voting members and say, hey,
Speaker 1: for your consideration, I'm up for Best New Artists, vote
Speaker 1: for me. I'm up for Album of the Year, I'm
Speaker 1: up for Song of the Year. Vote for me. And
Speaker 1: that's how they promote amongst voting members. So a lot
Speaker 1: of times when people say it's you guys, now, it's
Speaker 1: not the board that votes. We can vote, I can vote,
Speaker 1: I have a vote, But it's a twenty five thousand
Speaker 1: voting members around the country who decide. Now, if it's
Speaker 1: if we make up eighty five percent of how it works,
Speaker 1: and then and then, as far as TV goes, CBS,
Speaker 1: we have a deal with CBS CBA. We hire producers
Speaker 1: to produce the show. Now, just because the show is
Speaker 1: produced a certain way for visibility doesn't mean that you like.
Speaker 1: For instance, if we put Beyonce in the front row
Speaker 1: and people say, y'all use Beyonce put in the front row,
Speaker 1: and y'all know she's gonna lose or she's not gonna win.
Speaker 1: By the way, she's the most all time winning Grammy
Speaker 1: Artists artist Grammy Award winning artists of all time, including Michael,
Speaker 1: including Mariah Yeah, She's won more Grammys than any human
Speaker 1: person in the history of the Recording Academy, right, so so,
Speaker 1: but she has the one album of the year. She's
Speaker 1: never won Album of the Year. So why is that?
Speaker 1: Because I believe that sometimes those voting members are going
Speaker 1: to go with people they recognize. Do I voted for
Speaker 1: Beyonce to winn Album of the Year personally, right, So
Speaker 1: if she loses, I can't say, oh, it must be rigged.
Speaker 1: It must be I just literally have I'm in a
Speaker 1: room and I literally was running for Vice Share Again,
Speaker 1: I've done incredible things Advice Shair, never ever had any
Speaker 1: bad energy, and I lost Vice Share seat. Right. I
Speaker 1: can't look at the room and say it's rigged you
Speaker 1: guys for whatever reason, even though I feel like still
Speaker 1: I'm more visible or more qualified, I've done incredible work.
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, I didn't win, and that's okay. I
Speaker 1: still chairman of the BMC. I still can represent a
Speaker 1: fight for black people inside of Recording Academy. But when
Speaker 1: I look into it, I say, it must not have
Speaker 1: been enough people representing me and the interest that I
Speaker 1: believe in that room. So when Beyonce doesn't win, I'm
Speaker 1: just using her as an example. I feel in my
Speaker 1: heart it must not be enough people who look and
Speaker 1: understand who she is and the level of who she
Speaker 1: is and respect her music and our art in that
Speaker 1: voting process. So what we have to do is encourage
Speaker 1: people who look like us to vote. That's it. If
Speaker 1: we say fuck the Grammys, and I say, well, tell
Speaker 1: me about the Grammys, you can't answer it. Then you
Speaker 1: say in the fucking system that you don't know how
Speaker 1: it works. I'm going to tell you what the Grammys
Speaker 1: does do. The Grammys is a nonprofit organization that show
Speaker 1: we do. The awards we give out is just to
Speaker 1: pay for the work that we do for a creatives.
Speaker 1: If you are a music person, you do music full time.
Speaker 1: We have an organization called Music Heres. You do music
Speaker 1: full time. You can be singing at a pub. You
Speaker 1: could be a piano player on a cruise ship. You
Speaker 1: could be a DJ. You can be a songwriter. I
Speaker 1: never had one of Grammy, never sold any records. But
Speaker 1: you do music full time. You come to us and say, hey,
Speaker 1: Grammy's my roof is caving and I don't have money
Speaker 1: to fix the roof. We're giving you the money. If
Speaker 1: you say, my teeth coming out, I don't have money.
Speaker 1: I don't insurance. The pandemic hit. I don't have a job,
Speaker 1: I'm behind on my bills. We're giving you money. We
Speaker 1: gave away almost eighty million dollars during the pandemic.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: So when you think about the Grammys, all of those
Speaker 1: tickets that you buy to go to the Grammys, that
Speaker 1: money comes and we take that money and give it
Speaker 1: to people. But I think people of color have no
Speaker 1: clue that that exists. And that's why. And if you
Speaker 1: want to say, if anything, I say that that can
Speaker 1: make some people uncomfortable when I go out and speak
Speaker 1: to our people about how it works, that can make
Speaker 1: people uncomfortable because a lot there are a few people,
Speaker 1: I think who are kind of like Leary about, you know,
Speaker 1: the look and the feel of the organization. But I
Speaker 1: do believe that, in its true essence, what the Grammys represents.
Speaker 1: When you say fuck the Grammys, you're saying fuck the
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of a million dollars that we've given
Speaker 1: to black creatives, or to creatives in general, or the
Speaker 1: potential that we have to help and build the music community.
Speaker 1: No other award show is doing that, No other award
Speaker 1: show is saying So when people say they did the
Speaker 1: Billboard Awards. Yeah, the Billboards a great, great show, right,
Speaker 1: But the Billboard Awards is strictly based off the Billboard charts.
Speaker 1: So you know who's gonna win the Billboard Awards, or
Speaker 1: you have to do is look at the charts. Whoever
Speaker 1: had the biggest p they win. The Grammys is more
Speaker 1: given opportunities for people who may not have been heard
Speaker 1: but they had a quality album. There's a group called
Speaker 1: King three Sisters, three black females who had an a
Speaker 1: nomination when the Internet won Best R and B PJ.
Speaker 1: Moore Than has won four Grammys. You know, Robert Glaspers
Speaker 1: one Mini Grammys. Like these are artists that otherwise the
Speaker 1: mainstream would not have known who they are. And that's
Speaker 1: the opportunity because it's peer based and it's voted on
Speaker 1: by your peers, and it's about who we feel like
Speaker 1: had the best record as opposed to who was the
Speaker 1: most popular. Sometimes those things go hand in hand. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they don't. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get
Speaker 1: it wrong. It happens.
Speaker 2: Got it well. Breaking that down change my perspective slightly.
Speaker 1: I just kind of made the show really boring.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: I didn't even ever, I never even thought about how
Speaker 3: the fun this ship comes about. I'm just like, I
Speaker 3: don't know bonn Iver, I don't know who I was
Speaker 3: like turning off.
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at it. It's just I feel like culturally,
Speaker 3: just black and white people have just different musical tastes.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's just like, you know, maybe a lot of white
Speaker 2: boys that those rap shows.
Speaker 3: That's a fact, and they've.
Speaker 1: Been able to take the problem is that we don't
Speaker 1: give hip hop. It's just do when when we a
Speaker 1: lot of times people will play it and it will
Speaker 1: seem like it's a novelty that I'm like, they're just
Speaker 1: goofing around, But like, this is a true art form
Speaker 1: and it should be respected. And I think that the
Speaker 1: difference is that they are. There's enough white people in
Speaker 1: the world to that if only white people like something,
Speaker 1: that'll still do well. It's not enough of us that
Speaker 1: if only we like it, it'll be able to what
Speaker 1: we consider crossover. So whenever they do like it, what
Speaker 1: it does is it opens up for us to make
Speaker 1: a ton of money. So it's incredible when we're able
Speaker 1: to quote unquote crossover, which I hate that term, but
Speaker 1: when we do that it's incredible, and hip hop has
Speaker 1: been able to monetize on all levels. It's the most
Speaker 1: streamed genre in the world. It's the most powerful force
Speaker 1: there is. And the fact that other cultures like it
Speaker 1: and embrace it is beautiful because now we're able to
Speaker 1: monetize in so many different ways. We're able to become
Speaker 1: use our image and our energy and our likeness to
Speaker 1: go and create other streams of revenue for ourselves because
Speaker 1: other cultures love and respect and appreciate what we create
Speaker 1: in our bedrooms and on our tour buses and our closets.
Speaker 1: You know, they sure do.
Speaker 3: With the taste makers.
Speaker 2: Yes, speaking of taste makers, we have our show. We
Speaker 2: ask our guests to share an affirmation. I was wondering
Speaker 2: if you could share an affirmation that you tell yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Every day I tell myself, I'm walking into peace,
Speaker 1: I'm walking into wealth.
Speaker 3: I'm walking into peace, I'm walking into wealth.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I decide every day what piece is for
Speaker 1: me in that day, and what wealth looks like for
Speaker 1: me in that day. What does it look like today today?
Speaker 1: Wealth is wealth of happiness and positivity. Right, Obviously, I
Speaker 1: want to make a billion dollars, which I think all
Speaker 1: of us do most of us. But I also understand
Speaker 1: that in order for me to have wealth. In that perspective,
Speaker 1: the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Speaker 1: So if I'm wealthy and happiness and peace, then I
Speaker 1: know that I can exercise that same level. If I
Speaker 1: can just grab peace the same way I feel I
Speaker 1: can grab money, it'll be the same thing. The way
Speaker 1: you do anything as the way you do everything. I
Speaker 1: want to be just as peaceful in my heart and
Speaker 1: in my mind and my body as I am financially.
Speaker 2: I love that. What what are you doing in your
Speaker 2: life when you feel the happiest, Like, what are you
Speaker 2: doing in that moment?
Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, swimming with my daughter, with my kids,
Speaker 1: me and my son, riding bikes, or just my daughter
Speaker 1: leaning on my lap, watching the movie, my dad, my
Speaker 1: son leaning on my shoulder, my dad behind me, making
Speaker 1: some dinner, you know, my mom in some of the
Speaker 1: room where you know?
Speaker 2: Are you married?
Speaker 1: No? No? No?
Speaker 2: Are your children by the same?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was married at one time.
Speaker 3: How long?
Speaker 2: How long are you married? For?
Speaker 1: Three and a half years?
Speaker 2: Three and a half years? Well, would you do it again?
Speaker 3: No? Why you're done? Why?
Speaker 1: I think it's an outdated construct.
Speaker 2: Would you have partnership long term partner?
Speaker 1: Yea, absolutely. I believe in connection and love. I don't
Speaker 1: believe in contracts when it comes to how we feel
Speaker 1: about each other.
Speaker 2: Do you want any more children?
Speaker 1: Yes? I love baby broth oh, I like babies, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think that speaking on that, it's so many
Speaker 1: people that would be upset that people do when people
Speaker 1: don't like marriage, right, Like, I don't ever see somebody
Speaker 1: get married.
Speaker 2: And say so when you got married, it was it
Speaker 2: not what you expected? Like because your marriage didn't work out?
Speaker 2: Is it because it didn't work out as that why.
Speaker 1: I never wanted to be married?
Speaker 3: Then what happened?
Speaker 1: I just no, No, I did it? I did it.
Speaker 2: Did you have a whole wedding? Did you have like
Speaker 2: a whole not really whole thing.
Speaker 1: At the house? I did it to to I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just did it because I was trying to make
Speaker 1: somebody happy, you know. But it definitely was something not
Speaker 1: something I ever wanted to do, you know. But it's
Speaker 1: if people like that and like that idea, that's for them,
Speaker 1: you know. I just don't like when people get upset
Speaker 1: when we say we don't you know, you don't agree
Speaker 1: with Dick your marriage, people get really angry and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you're not going to marry me, you don't want to
Speaker 1: be like, I don't even know he's so kids. What
Speaker 1: I think about marriage.
Speaker 3: Is a concept of what we talked about, like being
Speaker 3: stuck in your ways, Like you know, when when the
Speaker 3: world is used to doing something a certain way, they're
Speaker 3: going to consistently try and hold you to that standard
Speaker 3: because that's the norm, you know. So it's like, why
Speaker 3: don't you like marriage? You're just like, if you say
Speaker 3: anything against the grain, people are going to come against you.
Speaker 3: Say anything against religion, anything against you know, marriage, everyone's.
Speaker 1: Like and even with that religion is like, if you're
Speaker 1: truly understanding what your belief system is, then you believe
Speaker 1: in the power that you believe in. Then it's not
Speaker 1: in your you know, wheelhouse to tell somebody what they're
Speaker 1: supposed to do. Your job is to love them, you know,
Speaker 1: in my job. I'm a Christian, right, but I'm not
Speaker 1: an idiot, and most Christians, I think are idiots. Right,
Speaker 1: So when I look at that, I say to myself,
Speaker 1: I know that I don't believe. I can't believe in
Speaker 1: my heart that God is going to make all these
Speaker 1: people burn in hell. And then I say to you,
Speaker 1: God is loved not for you, not for you. Don't
Speaker 1: do that, Yeah, don't pray to the Mary, Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you know that sounds ridiculous. So what I believe is
Speaker 1: that whatever I believe in my heart, the essence of
Speaker 1: what that is has to come out of me. And
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, then I'm not operating in the true
Speaker 1: essence of what that belief system is. And I think
Speaker 1: in all things everybody has a choice. Then if I
Speaker 1: believe that it's my job to police everybody's choice, then
Speaker 1: what do I need God for? What do I need
Speaker 1: the higher power that I believe in for? You know?
Speaker 1: So I just don't believe in that. And when it
Speaker 1: comes to relationships and marriage, I think everybody has to
Speaker 1: do things the way that they do them. I personally
Speaker 1: don't believe that I should ever have to fight to
Speaker 1: not deal with somebody anymore. I don't think I should
Speaker 1: ever have to go to court to say I don't
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't. We agree that we don't like
Speaker 1: each other anymore.
Speaker 2: We're better, and we agree that we don't like well
Speaker 2: tell you that we don't fuck with each other anymore.
Speaker 2: We like to, but we're gonna pay them to make
Speaker 2: sure that you know, we don't.
Speaker 1: You. That to me is crazy. That to me is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: But are your parents married?
Speaker 1: No, not anymore but their friends.
Speaker 2: So I mean, I just care because, like sometimes, you know,
Speaker 2: we see our parents' marriages not work out, like for
Speaker 2: me might. Neither one of my parents have ever been married,
Speaker 2: and so for a long most of my life, I
Speaker 2: never like ever considered marriage, never wanted marriage, because I
Speaker 2: just haven't seen it. I just haven't seen it. I
Speaker 2: haven't seen it.
Speaker 3: Literally.
Speaker 2: Do you think that because your parents were married and
Speaker 2: you did see that was kind of maybe also why
Speaker 2: you said, all right, well I'll get married. This seems
Speaker 2: like the next thing to do.
Speaker 1: No, I never ever wanted to as as an adult.
Speaker 2: So it was purely just to make someone's happy. You
Speaker 2: had no interest in marriage, you just had it.
Speaker 1: Made it very clear.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure, like sixty percent of men get married
Speaker 3: to shut the fuck the woman, to shut the no.
Speaker 1: That that's that's definitely what happened.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: But I also do understand that, and I don't fault
Speaker 1: my kids mom for wanting to be married or even
Speaker 1: though when we first met we both said we didn't
Speaker 1: want to be married. But I think that's sometimes outside pressure.
Speaker 1: Like when you're posting this happiness and you're in this
Speaker 1: great place, then somebody in the comments is like, but
Speaker 1: you don't have a ring. That's what we see. And
Speaker 1: I think that that's the problem that people, the pressure
Speaker 1: that people put on women. It's like, but you're not married.
Speaker 1: He didn't marry you. He didn't.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, well, first of all, that's what's on you.
Speaker 3: That's your problem. He left you because you had a.
Speaker 1: Baby's exactly right.
Speaker 2: But men to that ship to women all the time too,
Speaker 2: I mean, should well every post we talked about anything
Speaker 2: matter like.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that you're not married, that's that's why you
Speaker 3: had a baby without like that's why he left you.
Speaker 1: But I think they suckers too, who do that, like
Speaker 1: I think anybody. I don't. I don't like I'm across
Speaker 1: the board with stupidity. I just see it as stupidity, right,
Speaker 1: And I think that anytime you try to put pressure
Speaker 1: on a person and that's can be overwhelming. So I
Speaker 1: can't look at my kids mom and say she made
Speaker 1: me marry her. No, I think that she felt something
Speaker 1: and I think that people put pressure on her to
Speaker 1: make me feel like this was and I but I
Speaker 1: did it. I made that decision even though I knew
Speaker 1: in my heart that was a decision I shouldn't have made.
Speaker 1: The best part about any any of it is that
Speaker 1: how it protects me and when it comes to my children.
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I'm grateful for, because if
Speaker 1: you baby daddy, you get no rights when it comes
Speaker 1: to kids, Like somebody could literally leave the state and
Speaker 1: you have no control. O.
Speaker 3: No, have you signed the birth certificate.
Speaker 1: They still can leave if you didn't marry.
Speaker 2: It's just to state it's.
Speaker 1: Different, like you could literally just take the kids and
Speaker 1: move away. And since I was married, it kind of
Speaker 1: helps in that sense.
Speaker 2: Do you think that if you get a divorce to you,
Speaker 2: the woman should give the ring back.
Speaker 1: I didn't buy a ring.
Speaker 3: There was no ring.
Speaker 2: You're smart, man, I'll.
Speaker 3: Give you this.
Speaker 1: I was broke. I was broke. I went broke at
Speaker 1: the time of my marriage.
Speaker 3: How many times have you been broke? He broke?
Speaker 2: Not how many times?
Speaker 3: If you're curious, you know you up you be down.
Speaker 1: I just want to know it's ups and downs. I
Speaker 1: had a few really major setbacks in life, but I
Speaker 1: always believe in like that's a testament of who you are.
Speaker 1: Like if I ever if you ever speak to somebody
Speaker 1: who never fell off, I don't really want to. I
Speaker 1: don't need advice from a person who never experienced hardships.
Speaker 1: So in this game, it's a bunch of ups and downs.
Speaker 1: So when you go from being able to do so
Speaker 1: much for somebody and then you can't, I felt like,
Speaker 1: oh man, all I can do is give up my
Speaker 1: last name. At this point, I was doing so bad
Speaker 1: in life at that particular moment. But I think that, yeah,
Speaker 1: you go through a lot of things in life. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been up up, up, down, down, down, up, up, up, down, down, down,
Speaker 1: up up up. You know, no prayer we should stay up,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But I think you learn
Speaker 1: as you experienced. You, like even with relationships, like everything
Speaker 1: you go through you learn. I think that all men
Speaker 1: should study and understand postpartum agreed because the problem is
Speaker 1: I had no clue. And if I could really apologize
Speaker 1: to my kids mom for one major thing, it was
Speaker 1: my ignorance to how postpartum works. And I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you why, because I'm an ambitious person. When my son
Speaker 1: was born, I didn't know what postpartum was. So I'm
Speaker 1: getting up every day. Was I was on a rise
Speaker 1: in my career, so I'm doing really well. I would
Speaker 1: go to bed from the studio four in the morning.
Speaker 1: I get up at seven, and I'm just And then
Speaker 1: you see somebody in the bed two three, and you're thinking,
Speaker 1: she's not ambitious, She's like lazy, like get up, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Like you know? And so she had
Speaker 1: a career. I funded her career. Do this, do this
Speaker 1: go on? And I didn't understand it right. So it
Speaker 1: changed the way I perceived and acknowledged her. And I
Speaker 1: didn't notice till I went to therapy, and my therapist
Speaker 1: helped me through it, because what he did was he said,
Speaker 1: stop talking about what somebody did to you. Even if
Speaker 1: somebody did something to you or made you feel this way,
Speaker 1: or called you names or did all these things, what
Speaker 1: about you either keeps attracting this or what about your
Speaker 1: actions caused them, whether it's right or wrong. Because somebody
Speaker 1: could say I believe we behave how we're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: We should behave how we want to be treated, not
Speaker 1: how we are treated. You get what I'm saying. We
Speaker 1: should behave how we want to be treated. Even if
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't treat you in a way that you want
Speaker 1: to be treated, it's still your responsibility to behave how
Speaker 1: you would like to be treated. But I also understand
Speaker 1: that sometimes people are going to respond to how you
Speaker 1: made them feel. It's still their response and it's still
Speaker 1: their choice, and it's not not my fault that you're
Speaker 1: responding that way. But you still have to understand that
Speaker 1: maybe to them, something I did to them made them
Speaker 1: see and view me this way. Okay, so let's start there.
Speaker 1: What happened was I didn't consider her in certain conversations,
Speaker 1: in certain places and situations in my life, in certain
Speaker 1: you know, scenarios. I just didn't because I didn't have
Speaker 1: a respect for who she was. Why. Because I thought
Speaker 1: she was lazy, I thought she wasn't ambitious, not realizing
Speaker 1: this woman is depressed, she's going through postpartum. So throughout
Speaker 1: the relationship, as relationship got longer and long and longer
Speaker 1: anything in life, I subconstantly didn't think that she Her
Speaker 1: opinion meant matter. I thought she wasn't ambitious. I thought
Speaker 1: she was.
Speaker 3: And I would look around doing this, not just.
Speaker 1: Me, other women around me in my life, who I
Speaker 1: did business with, I would see them just having figure
Speaker 1: in this this hustle. So I thought she didn't have
Speaker 1: the hustle. Now cut to when my daughter was born
Speaker 1: and then life kind of got wonky for me and
Speaker 1: my money got crazy, and I'm still getting up and
Speaker 1: I'm grinding, and what is this person doing in bed?
Speaker 1: Not motivated, not working, not realizing the idiot, She's fucking sad,
Speaker 1: she's going through something. She don't know what's going.
Speaker 3: On with her.
Speaker 1: So that in my mind was like wow, And that's
Speaker 1: I didn't until recently when I was talking to my therapist,
Speaker 1: we're going through that, and I started he started just
Speaker 1: kind of peeling back the layers for me, like, so
Speaker 1: when did this happen? Like this person couldn't have just
Speaker 1: been so nasty and meaning to you for me to
Speaker 1: begin what happened. I started really going back and thinking Timeline,
Speaker 1: the baby.
Speaker 4: Oh, these motherfucking yes she carried and fed and no no,
Speaker 4: and that I'm not just saying that because because I
Speaker 4: definitely uh am an active dad.
Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, I keep my kids
Speaker 1: seven days, she keep them seven days. It is even
Speaker 1: down the middle when it comes to our time, but
Speaker 1: our children, and even though we don't necessarily care for
Speaker 1: each other, we definitely I've never had no problems with
Speaker 1: her when trying to keep my kids or use my kids.
Speaker 1: And I would never try to use my kids as
Speaker 1: a pawn or do anything. I've never even met her
Speaker 1: boyfriend or spoken to him. But one thing is most
Speaker 1: people will be like, you should introduce me to your boyfriend. No.
Speaker 1: One thing I do know she'll never let nothing happen
Speaker 1: to my kids. So if she don't want me to
Speaker 1: meet her boyfriend, if she don't want to introduce me
Speaker 1: to it, it don't make me feel no way. Because one
Speaker 1: thing I do know for a fact is if a
Speaker 1: train was coming and he was about to hit my baby,
Speaker 1: she's jumping in front of them.
Speaker 2: You trust the person, trust the person you chose to.
Speaker 1: Have your children. But the mistake I definitely made was
Speaker 1: not understanding my ignorance right was like not understanding what
Speaker 1: postpartum was. And I don't want to say it's my fault,
Speaker 1: but my fault, like I definitely was an educated right.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean there's not a lot of well I
Speaker 2: don't want to say there's not resources, because there are,
Speaker 2: but there's not a lot of push for men to
Speaker 2: tap into those resources. It's really women, like you need
Speaker 2: to know all these things. The men are just there
Speaker 2: to provide support. And we talk about I mean, we
Speaker 2: talk about this in our book, and mean we always
Speaker 2: advocate for men to read our book so that you
Speaker 2: really understand like the mindset of a woman.
Speaker 1: When I say this, I really have to say this, though,
Speaker 1: women have to allow men vulnerability because vulnerability cannot be
Speaker 1: expected when it's convenient for you. If I'm sad and
Speaker 1: I'm having a moment and I'm expressing myself, then I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to see fifty memes about niggas is the
Speaker 1: new bitches, right right, I shouldn't have to be. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to certain issues, well why you tap
Speaker 1: in and understand it and be you want me to
Speaker 1: be sensitive when and it has to do with you,
Speaker 1: But sometimes I have moments to have to do with
Speaker 1: me that caused for me to feel a certain way,
Speaker 1: and I should be that should be respected as well.
Speaker 1: So I do believe that, yes, men are not educated
Speaker 1: on certain things. But I think that we would be
Speaker 1: more open to it if our role as men wasn't limited.
Speaker 3: To provide her No, absolutely, I think I think women
Speaker 3: and men both really need a safe space to show
Speaker 3: up and be themselves. I mean, be human and.
Speaker 1: I say how you feel and get emotional, say that
Speaker 1: this upset me, this makes me sad when this happened,
Speaker 1: this is how I felt, this is this. I definitely
Speaker 1: think that if we felt more safe to express the
Speaker 1: vulnerable sides of who we are, then we could be
Speaker 1: more sensitive to trying to understand. Because right now, we
Speaker 1: do everything we do to appease of women and not
Speaker 1: every person because some guys are so incredibly mature in
Speaker 1: that place. But I think that sometimes we do things
Speaker 1: because it's like Shorty says she wanted to do it.
Speaker 1: Like when I talk to friends who mat like, yo,
Speaker 1: what you gotta take Shorty down here to see you? Like, Yo,
Speaker 1: let's go to the b man. I gotta go to
Speaker 1: her family ship, you know, not like oh no, this weekend,
Speaker 1: I'm with my wife and we're going to do this.
Speaker 1: But next week it's like, damn, bro, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1: I gotta cousin, and it's that's the honest and something.
Speaker 1: And again, please people be mature enough to understand that
Speaker 1: that's not every person. But I meet I know so
Speaker 1: many guys who that's the energy is like I'm doing
Speaker 1: this because if I don't do it, she's gonna I'm
Speaker 1: have to hear her mouth exactly. So I think that
Speaker 1: men don't have the freedom. You don't ever hear women
Speaker 1: saying I gotta go to the Lakers games. Is this
Speaker 1: nigga want to go see Lebron? No, it's like you
Speaker 1: we do what a woman wants to do. And then
Speaker 1: every once in a while it's like we're gonna do
Speaker 1: something you want to do and we're like, yay, right,
Speaker 1: But it shouldn't be that. It should be like on
Speaker 1: the trail, you know what.
Speaker 2: I will say that the time when when we were like,
Speaker 2: I just don't want to do that. You should go
Speaker 2: do that with your boys, there's no problem. But yeah,
Speaker 2: it's true. I'll be like, you don't ever want to
Speaker 2: do you don't do everyone everyone to do? Should I
Speaker 2: want to do?
Speaker 1: Like, we do literally everything you want to do. One
Speaker 1: time it's like, but I think that just give men.
Speaker 1: Give men the opportunity to say this bothers me. And
Speaker 1: what I believe in is when when my when my
Speaker 1: kids and mom and I decided we were going to split,
Speaker 1: I suggest it every morning, let's wake up before the
Speaker 1: kids get up, and let's just take a walk and talk,
Speaker 1: not talk about getting back together, because we know that
Speaker 1: you know, I'm much I'm a much better person and
Speaker 1: not in a relationship with her. She's a much better
Speaker 1: person not in a relationship with me. Right, So I
Speaker 1: always say, let's get up in this walk and talk
Speaker 1: and let's express how we feel the problem was. We
Speaker 1: should have did that in the beginning. Now I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that that's not why it didn't work. I don't
Speaker 1: think we're meant to be together, right, But I do
Speaker 1: believe that the next relationship I get in, I'm going
Speaker 1: to implement all of the things that I went through.
Speaker 1: Because we went to couple's therapy, and I remember so
Speaker 1: being so excited when the therapist said, you guys, just
Speaker 1: get up and walk in the morning, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I said that that was my suggestion, right, But I
Speaker 1: think that I look at all the things that the
Speaker 1: therapist tells you on the exit out of relationship, and
Speaker 1: I think, what if people implement it in the beginning.
Speaker 1: So in my next relationship, I'm definitely gonna say every week,
Speaker 1: I want to hear everything that bothers you, whether it's
Speaker 1: about me or whether it's about your day or what
Speaker 1: everything makes you said. All I asked you that I
Speaker 1: have the same luxury to be heard in that sense.
Speaker 1: And also, every time a man says something about how
Speaker 1: something makes him feel, and you did it just now, Erica,
Speaker 1: you know what you did. You said, well, guys do
Speaker 1: that too. You never have a moment where a man
Speaker 1: can express how a woman makes him feel without a
Speaker 1: woman saying, well you did this.
Speaker 2: No, I was saying that women do that.
Speaker 1: No, but when you're talking about comments and stuff, you said,
Speaker 1: guys do that time. But I'm saying that that always happens.
Speaker 1: He said, they do, and they do.
Speaker 3: It's not nature to point out that, Hey, you're pointing
Speaker 3: this out about me, But I've observed that you also have.
Speaker 1: But married j Blish since I was a kid. The
Speaker 1: niggas ain't ship. We've already known. We don't need any
Speaker 1: help knowing that, right, So anytime that we say that
Speaker 1: this girl did this to me, the first thing, the
Speaker 1: first response across the board is but what did you do?
Speaker 1: You did this? You know, and you know anytime, even
Speaker 1: I think a therapist is supposed to do it. But
Speaker 1: when any time you say this happened to me, and
Speaker 1: the first thing person will say is, well, what did
Speaker 1: you do to her? How did you cause And that
Speaker 1: doesn't happen to women. Anytime a woman says he broke
Speaker 1: my heart, he made me say he did this, nobody's
Speaker 1: saying what did you do to him?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: And that to me is lopsided. What I think we
Speaker 1: should be able to do is in the next relationship.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to say, let's go for
Speaker 1: a walk every day, let's go to lunch every week
Speaker 1: once a week, and just say what how your week
Speaker 1: and what bothered you, what made you sad? So it
Speaker 1: is your day to talk about it, and then tomorrow
Speaker 1: it will be my day, they tell you, And then
Speaker 1: all you have to do is listen and take no.
Speaker 1: When I said this in the kitchen of the day,
Speaker 1: you responded like this, it made me feel like you
Speaker 1: don't hear me.
Speaker 2: Well, there's a level of maturity that has to happen
Speaker 2: in these conversations because when you're when you're sharing that
Speaker 2: with someone there, usually their instinct is to defend their actions,
Speaker 2: or defend themselves or explain why they chose to do that.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: So the hope, I guess, the goal is that when
Speaker 2: you have these conversations, they open up to the space
Speaker 2: where you guys cannot do less blaming and I guess
Speaker 2: scaling taking more accountability, scaling the accountability.
Speaker 3: The tip for tat that take you more accountability.
Speaker 1: Okay, you didn't melt. I thought she. I thought it.
Speaker 1: Women melt when he said it. I thought they. I
Speaker 1: thought they like, like dissolve into life nothing. You know,
Speaker 1: I just never heard.
Speaker 2: You know that's why women don't take accountability.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh you said it too, it's not
Speaker 1: I see they said accountability and nothing happened to them.
Speaker 2: I wait, So you think men take more accountability than women.
Speaker 1: I think member forced to take accountability. It's no choice.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm a person who never ever, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? I tell you this. I'm gonna tell you this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you that's a perfect example. I was
Speaker 1: a cheater one hundred miles an hour, Like if you could,
Speaker 1: if it was the wrong way. That was called cheating,
Speaker 1: and they said do the limit. I was maxing out right, right,
Speaker 1: no breaks, right. But I have never, ever, ever, in
Speaker 1: the history of my cheating, ever said I did this
Speaker 1: because you did this. I did this because you made
Speaker 1: me feel this way. I never ever made you feel
Speaker 1: like you was a pretty enough you was this now? No,
Speaker 1: my actions probably did because when you cheat, you can
Speaker 1: make a person feel like they aren't enough. That's a fact.
Speaker 1: But I've never ever not helped said. All I ever
Speaker 1: said was I'm wrong.
Speaker 2: And when women she we say because.
Speaker 1: I'm not, don't even say cheating just in general, but
Speaker 1: we do things.
Speaker 2: We usually say.
Speaker 1: It's always because of this.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny that you say this, because I've
Speaker 2: had this conversation last night with someone and a man
Speaker 2: and he said the same thing, like, I made the
Speaker 2: choices that I wanted to make because I wanted to
Speaker 2: make them. You made choices out of You're telling me
Speaker 2: that you've made choices because it's something I did, yes,
Speaker 2: And I was like kind of, yeah, exactly, and he was.
Speaker 1: Like, no, that's not how life works. I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell you this. If a person spits in my face, right.
Speaker 2: And I think, can I just say something, This is
Speaker 2: how men and our brains are so different than men's beames,
Speaker 2: like because women we are just more emotional. We are
Speaker 2: emotional reactionary out of our emotions where men are not.
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is the every person in the world.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you corrected every person emotion. But how we
Speaker 1: react fond to that emotion was the level of either
Speaker 1: maturity or spitefulness? No, or you have the ability to
Speaker 1: a man is not. If a man was to respond
Speaker 1: on how something makes him feel, we call him a
Speaker 1: bitch assed nigga. When Tyree gets on camera and cry,
Speaker 1: we say this nigga's a sucker. If a woman does that,
Speaker 1: we say, speak up, Queen Shadum. If a girl was
Speaker 1: to leave court and say this man is trying to
Speaker 1: take everything from me and blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: When Mary J. Blige is going through her divorce and
Speaker 1: all this stuff and they say he expects her to
Speaker 1: give him money, what right If a man was to
Speaker 1: doing that same thing, It's like, yeah, what pay that
Speaker 1: lady pay? She probably put up him so much from you.
Speaker 1: So I think that it's not about the account. The
Speaker 1: accountability is forced on us. We don't have a choice
Speaker 1: but to be accounted because nobody feels bad for us.
Speaker 1: If a man is broke and a woman is broke,
Speaker 1: the difference is the woman feels like this is not
Speaker 1: supposed to be happy into me so much so it's like,
Speaker 1: don't text me, I got bills? Do don't date me
Speaker 1: and say what's don't see me? What's up? Text if
Speaker 1: my bills is this much? What so? Or they'll tell him.
Speaker 1: I had a good, close, close friend of mine. It
Speaker 1: almost made me cry because this guy is not dating anybody. Right.
Speaker 1: This is one of my closest friends and he doesn't date.
Speaker 1: You got a kid, you got a daughter, and his
Speaker 1: kid's mom. I don't know what the situation is, but
Speaker 1: he doesn't date. And I said why not? I'm not
Speaker 1: where I want to be financially. And most people will
Speaker 1: say amen to that, but I said, bro love is
Speaker 1: something that shouldn't make you feel that way. You deserve to.
Speaker 1: What if the person that's meant for you is going
Speaker 1: to trigger something or give you an idea or do
Speaker 1: something or help you in a way that's gonna excel you,
Speaker 1: accelerate your life to where it needs to be. You're
Speaker 1: rejecting the idea of finding love because society has made
Speaker 1: you feel especially black, society has made you feel like
Speaker 1: you don't deserve my girlfriend if you don't have money
Speaker 1: right now, that is insane to me. Now do you
Speaker 1: deserve to be Does it make sense for you to
Speaker 1: take a bunch of trips and do all this and
Speaker 1: go to no, But you should be able to find
Speaker 1: somebody you care about. When a situation happens to a man,
Speaker 1: it is like, how do I figure this out? When
Speaker 1: a situation happens to a woman, not all women, by
Speaker 1: the way, So everybody's in the comments, it's gonna say
Speaker 1: I'm not like that. Not all people. It's like, this
Speaker 1: is not supposed to be happening to me. And that
Speaker 1: is the difference. And as men, we don't have the
Speaker 1: luxury to not take accountability for things. We don't have
Speaker 1: that luxury, and if we do, we are called every
Speaker 1: name in the book. Women stand up for women, stand
Speaker 1: up for gay rights and gay men and gay thing,
Speaker 1: gay thing all the time. Right, But as soon as
Speaker 1: a man does something he might be gay. I think
Speaker 1: he is right as soon as he's sensitive. But that's
Speaker 1: your best friend, but you will use that as to
Speaker 1: insult another a man because he's acting in a way
Speaker 1: that's expressing how something made him feel.
Speaker 3: I think that's some women. I don't think that's.
Speaker 2: All he said that I did see.
Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell you I have to say this.
Speaker 1: I went through a situation in my relationship right where
Speaker 1: I was. My feelings were hurt. I was devastating. It
Speaker 1: was just like crushed, and I went through this was
Speaker 1: in twenty eighteen to that I made it. First of all,
Speaker 1: I was so sad that I wasn't heard. I've never ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever considered suicide until I felt not heard I loved.
Speaker 1: I contemplated killing myself, not because of financial woes, not
Speaker 1: because I was getting cheated on. Was because I was
Speaker 1: I felt like I didn't I wasn't heard by your partner,
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, and by by everybody. I don't want
Speaker 1: to put that pressure on my kid's mom, because I'm
Speaker 1: not the type of person that's going to sit around
Speaker 1: and say, you know, but I definitely think in all
Speaker 1: levels of my life, I was helping the artists, I
Speaker 1: was working with management, my relationship. Every point in my life,
Speaker 1: I was feeling like people were just not hearing me
Speaker 1: or my feelings didn't matter right. I think that an
Speaker 1: openness to share how something makes you feel right gives
Speaker 1: you a freedom that people don't even understand. What I
Speaker 1: also believe is that the luxury of being able to
Speaker 1: provide or being safe enough to say that this thing
Speaker 1: hurts me, this thing affects me, this thing makes me sad,
Speaker 1: and somebody can hear you out and give you a
Speaker 1: hug and say, I don't understand how to help you
Speaker 1: through this, but I can just be here. I can
Speaker 1: just be but I'm not gonna make you feel uncomfortable
Speaker 1: with that. If the first thing we do in our
Speaker 1: society is criticized any man who feels something, then every man,
Speaker 1: even if he's not going through it at that time, subcontinents,
Speaker 1: he gonna look at that and realize when it's his
Speaker 1: turn when he goes through something. Or I know, I
Speaker 1: can't even say that, I can't. I don't have that
Speaker 1: luxury because as soon as I do it, even men
Speaker 1: do it to men. You a man, broh, why are
Speaker 1: you doing this? So when I went through this situation,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to that when I went through
Speaker 1: this situation. I got on social media and I didn't
Speaker 1: realize at the time everything I was saying was subliminals.
Speaker 1: This was around twenty eighteen. I was on some real
Speaker 1: suckers shit like I ain't gonna lie, I have to
Speaker 1: be honest. I was on some like everything was a
Speaker 1: sub to Shorty, like while I'm in the same house
Speaker 1: as like like you know what I mean. I was
Speaker 1: like every everything, memes, everything, and and you know, uh,
Speaker 1: every meme every I was just like I made a
Speaker 1: whole album called even Kings died about it because I
Speaker 1: was just that hurt. I just didn't feel hurt. I
Speaker 1: felt like and I was just subthing something something something.
Speaker 1: And obviously now I have a rule. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't anything I'm going through nobody would ever know. I
Speaker 1: don't post anything that has to do relationships or hurt
Speaker 1: or this or somebody. Even if it's a funny meme
Speaker 1: that I think it's hilarious, I will not repost it.
Speaker 1: I don't because I don't ever want to be that
Speaker 1: person again because it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing because
Speaker 1: somebody came up to me around the time this was
Speaker 1: all happening, and a good friend of mine. He was like,
Speaker 1: you see, I'll be on your gee every day you
Speaker 1: got suddenly say about you good like. So I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, I'm wearing this shit. You know, I went
Speaker 1: through it. I had a Kanye More why. I was
Speaker 1: just every day like literally for like three or four months.
Speaker 1: It would just NonStop everything right, And I think that one,
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's becoming of my character. So
Speaker 1: that's why I don't do it. But I also believe
Speaker 1: that when women do it, it's an amen section in
Speaker 1: their comments right, and they have that freedom. Men don't
Speaker 1: have the luxury to ever even feel that way, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I was called every name in
Speaker 1: the book by her friends and crew like oh he's
Speaker 1: a look at he acting like this. But when it's
Speaker 1: turned around, I think men should just have the opportunity
Speaker 1: to express how they feel, not on Instagram. I think
Speaker 1: that's not that wasn't becoming. And I'm not proud of
Speaker 1: that moment in my life when I was behaving that way.
Speaker 1: But I do believe that I should have a safe
Speaker 1: space to express that I'm hurt. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: my place to tell my business or talk about but
Speaker 1: if that's.
Speaker 2: What you wanted to do, That's what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that I just don't think it's
Speaker 1: classy across.
Speaker 2: I think that men have suppressed their emotions so much
Speaker 2: that when it does come out, it comes out a
Speaker 2: bit bitchy, like a messy yeah, And so a lot
Speaker 2: of times people don't know what to do with it
Speaker 2: because this person has suppressed for so long, and then
Speaker 2: it's just like and then they're like whoa. But it's
Speaker 2: like the more that you're able to express and the
Speaker 2: more you're able to be vulnerable, the mess starts to
Speaker 2: clean itself up and you're able to really understand, like, hey,
Speaker 2: this is how I'm feeling, and this is what I
Speaker 2: need from you. But a lot of times men can't
Speaker 2: do that or they don't feel like they have a
Speaker 2: space a sect.
Speaker 1: Think me doing that was good in the sense that
Speaker 1: I'm able to learn and grow fast exactly.
Speaker 2: You had to do that in order to reflect back
Speaker 2: and say, yo's like I never want to do it again,
Speaker 2: but like, but I needed to get it.
Speaker 3: Out, and I'm glad that I did. But maybe a
Speaker 3: different outlet. Maybe what I.
Speaker 1: Really wanted was to talk to to the person I
Speaker 1: was dealing with, and I want to, but but you couldn't.
Speaker 1: So instead I do just because one thing I don't
Speaker 1: do is I don't scream at women. I don't call
Speaker 1: them names, and obviously I never hit a woman. So
Speaker 1: if a woman is screaming at me, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to. She's gonna win that argument every time. Sometimes
Speaker 1: she'll be the loudest. I'm not going to be louder
Speaker 1: in you. It's just not going to.
Speaker 2: She gets more mad and she starts yelling more because
Speaker 2: what the fuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. So I think
Speaker 1: that that kind of handicaps a person like myself because
Speaker 1: I don't expect I know guys who looks to be
Speaker 1: fun relationships because they fight like crazy and they get
Speaker 1: they both get to get everything out. I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to say it's good, it's healthy. It's very toxic, but
Speaker 1: at least they both get to express themselves because he'll say,
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. I don't do that, So I
Speaker 1: can't exist in that way. My daughter is eight years old.
Speaker 1: My daughter will never ever be able to tell a
Speaker 1: story of my dad was cursing at my mom. I
Speaker 1: saw my dad grab my mom. My dad called my
Speaker 1: mom this name. Now never, They've never my children have
Speaker 1: never seen me behave that way, and they would never
Speaker 1: see me speak about their mother behind the scenes in
Speaker 1: that way. I've never Nobody around me is allowed to
Speaker 1: talk about my kid's mom in front of my children.
Speaker 1: I don't care what they feel. I don't care what
Speaker 1: they do, what she's done or made them feel. You're
Speaker 1: never gonna speak bad about my kid's mom in front
Speaker 1: of my children. I would never speak bad about her
Speaker 1: in front of my children. So when I think about character,
Speaker 1: I think about the fact that what if my daughter
Speaker 1: was in this room right now, is shaw me behave
Speaker 1: in this way? That's that's how I judge how I'm
Speaker 1: going to respond to arguments or you know, anything to
Speaker 1: this day, I don't. I don't scream and yell and
Speaker 1: call names and doing that.
Speaker 2: How do you think, I'm sorry? I was gonna say,
Speaker 2: how do you think fatherhood has changed you?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was going to say that, Like, you know,
Speaker 3: you've evolved a lot in your relationship, You've you know, reflected,
Speaker 3: you've been a divorce, You've had two kids, Like, how
Speaker 3: has you keep you saying like you said you're You're
Speaker 3: going to say you're forty a least.
Speaker 1: Seven times to day.
Speaker 2: He's forty, Guys, I get it.
Speaker 3: I'm trying thirty five next next month, and I think
Speaker 3: I've said it like five times at least, like I'm
Speaker 3: thirty five. I'm a girl. Ask but how do you
Speaker 3: think that's? Like your evolution has affected your fatherhood and
Speaker 3: like what have you what have you gained in knowledge
Speaker 3: and lessons in fatherhood that's made you like a better
Speaker 3: parent than you were maybe ten years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who gets my time is very important to me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like my daughter sleeps in
Speaker 1: bed with me, so I don't feel comfortable just having
Speaker 1: random strangers in my bed because my daughter is going
Speaker 1: to be here. You can change sheets, but that's just
Speaker 1: still not the same. It's the energy, So I don't
Speaker 1: When I go home, I work very hard. My children
Speaker 1: always know me to be a person to work extremely hard,
Speaker 1: and they've been able to see that example. But when
Speaker 1: I'm not working, my piece is to go home and
Speaker 1: be alone. I don't have to have anybody over just
Speaker 1: because I'm alone, because I'm not lonely. I enjoy peace,
Speaker 1: I enjoy my reading my book. I enjoy going for
Speaker 1: a swim my pool and watching succession and you know,
Speaker 1: and just catching them, you know, things like that. I
Speaker 1: don't need random company to feel like full. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I think that's changed me.
Speaker 2: And also you think a lot of that too, because
Speaker 2: you've done it all. I mean, you said you're one
Speaker 2: hundred percent on the cheating runway, Like do you think
Speaker 2: do you think as a man? As a man, especially
Speaker 2: in your industry, there's access to women, there's so much access, right, Like,
Speaker 2: is there a limit in which you're like, all right,
Speaker 2: I've had enough, this is done. And maybe fatherhood or
Speaker 2: marriage maybe it was like kind of the chapter into which.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not so excited when I first I've been
Speaker 1: single for like three and three and a half years,
Speaker 1: three some years. In the first six seven months of
Speaker 1: single life, you're dating like crazy, You're going out, you're
Speaker 1: having a good time. Then I started realizing, like everybody
Speaker 1: I meet, I'm gonna asking myself with how would she
Speaker 1: be around my daughter? My daughter hasn't met any by
Speaker 1: the person I've met they, so I always ask that question.
Speaker 1: I think that's how fatherhood has really affected me. I
Speaker 1: always think to myself like, would would you be okay
Speaker 1: around my daughter? What I feel comfortable having you picked
Speaker 1: my baby girl from school and she spending the day
Speaker 1: with you or with you?
Speaker 3: Know how?
Speaker 1: What will my kids think about you? You know? That
Speaker 1: is first and foremost on my mind when it comes
Speaker 1: to everything I do, is how will it affect my children?
Speaker 1: Anytime anything bad happens, any hardship, I'm always thinking like,
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen to my babies? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: How is this gonna affect my children? You know? So
Speaker 1: it definitely makes like you don't know what love is
Speaker 1: in any way until you have a child and people think, well,
Speaker 1: they're like, well you love your parent. Yeah, I love
Speaker 1: this shit out of my parents, But I never knew
Speaker 1: that I could love anything. I don't love my parents
Speaker 1: as much as they love me.
Speaker 3: I don't think it we can.
Speaker 1: It's impossible. It's no way for my child to love
Speaker 1: me in the way that I love them. It's not possible.
Speaker 1: So that makes you consider them in everything you do.
Speaker 1: And any person who doesn't I think it's some kind
Speaker 1: of disconnect mentally, because whenever I see guys who aren't
Speaker 1: active in their kids life, well, when I see women
Speaker 1: who just raise kids and don't and interact with them.
Speaker 1: It's something off, something happened, something is twisted in you.
Speaker 1: I'm watching this documentary now on Armie Hammer his whole
Speaker 1: crazy controversy, and you look at the history of his family,
Speaker 1: his grandfather, his father, and how it all kind of
Speaker 1: trickled down.
Speaker 2: I can wait, Green Hammer did he's the one who's
Speaker 2: going to move to an island and was working at
Speaker 2: was he like work? He's in famous actor?
Speaker 1: Right? And then me by your name star who was
Speaker 1: like into bondage and anybody choking women and told him
Speaker 1: he was a cannibal and all the craziness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a he's a very he he like fell
Speaker 2: off and then he was like working at like like
Speaker 2: a bed and breakfast.
Speaker 3: No, no, he was a cannibal.
Speaker 1: His family is fucking loaded. Oh really, armand Hammer, that
Speaker 1: realed the arm Hammer.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of Armie Hammer.
Speaker 1: That is his name, Armie Hammer. That's his name is
Speaker 1: armand Hen Hammer, and they call him Army Hammer. And
Speaker 1: he was an actor.
Speaker 2: He is He's of the armin Hammer family.
Speaker 3: What the fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How did I not put that together?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm watching a documentary on him right now. But
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is to say, I look at how
Speaker 1: his upbringing affected him. It fucked him like he's fucking twisted,
Speaker 1: and it's when you look. So they went back and
Speaker 1: read a book that his aunt wrote about their grandfather,
Speaker 1: and it was like, oh my god, was it the
Speaker 1: same weird ship, same with this crazy control, just sick,
Speaker 1: twisted manipulation and all these things. So you saw all
Speaker 1: of the men kind of tricker down. I think about
Speaker 1: things like that when it comes to my daughter. I
Speaker 1: tell my daughter she's beautiful a thousand times a day.
Speaker 1: I tell my son I love him a million times
Speaker 1: a day. I beg my son every day. Please, bro,
Speaker 1: don't do drugs.
Speaker 3: Don't do this, don't beg him every day.
Speaker 1: You know my friends are doing this. Just don't do
Speaker 1: it like please, I just want you to be because
Speaker 1: I care so much about them. Does that mean that
Speaker 1: he's not gonna make a decision. What it does is
Speaker 1: I try my best to show him that I see
Speaker 1: this shit every day, Bro, This shit is real, and
Speaker 1: I don't want you to My love for my children
Speaker 1: it affects my behavior so that I can make sure
Speaker 1: that in front of them, even certain things like I
Speaker 1: know that my daughter watches Google's my name, she searches
Speaker 1: my name, So I'm careful about things I say and
Speaker 1: things that, you know, things I share, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want baby girl to ever get online and
Speaker 1: see some shit from my dad and be like, what
Speaker 1: the hell? You know what I mean? Even me saying
Speaker 1: and shit right now, She's gonna be daddy, you know.
Speaker 1: But I look at those things. So when you ask
Speaker 1: that question to kind of can sing you down a
Speaker 1: rabbit hole of thoughts of like, wow, it's so many
Speaker 1: things to change about me.
Speaker 2: Do you parent you're a boy differently than your parent?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes I do. And I'm like, I'm very
Speaker 1: much hands on with the time I spend with my daughter,
Speaker 1: and I'm very intentional about telling my son how much
Speaker 1: he has to protect her and how it's important for
Speaker 1: him to always protect her. But I say the same
Speaker 1: thing about his mom, like, like, again, me and my
Speaker 1: kids mom, we don't really care for each other as people,
Speaker 1: but we definitely respect each other as parents. And whenever
Speaker 1: she calls me and says, Karens is doing this, I
Speaker 1: take it personal. Don't ever disrespect your mother. I don't
Speaker 1: care what you feel. You don't ever disrespect me. You
Speaker 1: called me and scream at me, tell me whatever you're feeling.
Speaker 1: And I think that I don't. With my daughter, it's
Speaker 1: more like I'm over, I'm like this. But my son
Speaker 1: is like he. I understand he he needs a certain
Speaker 1: level of freedom, he needs a certain level of space,
Speaker 1: he needs a certain level to learn, certain opportunities to
Speaker 1: learn and understand himself in certain ways. Baby girls like
Speaker 1: I need, I need. She's eight, and I'm very like
Speaker 1: on her, like the things that he was able to do,
Speaker 1: Like she begged me for a phone, I got an iPad.
Speaker 1: She can do things. But I'm like over her shoulder,
Speaker 1: like what are you watching? What are you looking at?
Speaker 1: What do you Because I understand how impressionable you know,
Speaker 1: a young woman can be in today's society. I want her.
Speaker 1: I want her to always know. And I always tell
Speaker 1: my kids, my son. I remember being in Africa and
Speaker 1: my son called me to for uber eats and I'm like,
Speaker 1: Ober eats from Africa. I never ever say my son
Speaker 1: called me. I was in La last week and my
Speaker 1: son called me like, can you give me a Uber
Speaker 1: from my friend's house. I don't say why your mother
Speaker 1: can't take I'm always yeah, because I want him to
Speaker 1: understand it. Anyway he is in life, in a good
Speaker 1: situation or a bad situation, called me. If I told
Speaker 1: you not to do something, you did it, call me.
Speaker 1: I don't care. We'll talk about it later. And I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even reprimand them in that moment.
Speaker 2: Give it a few days and say, bro, you want
Speaker 2: to leave that line of communication.
Speaker 1: I want to feel safe, So when it comes to that,
Speaker 1: that's what the difference. But with my daughter, I'm more like, now,
Speaker 1: I'm going like where you're at. Like my son, I
Speaker 1: dropped off to a birthday party when he was eight
Speaker 1: or nine. You know, my daughter's eight. I'm never dropping off.
Speaker 1: I'm there because I also understand. I understand little sick moments,
Speaker 1: and you know, perverts can strike in an instant, like
Speaker 1: a pervert can grab your kid and do something to
Speaker 1: them for two seconds, and he can. But that's the
Speaker 1: problem's And I'm not trying to say I'm right for this,
Speaker 1: but I do understand that the freedoms that I give
Speaker 1: my son is different than my daughter because I know
Speaker 1: how that can affect an eight year old girl. One instance, well,
Speaker 1: somebody not spent a bunch of time with it, but
Speaker 1: just can be in a corner and do something like
Speaker 1: that and it can fuck her up for the rest
Speaker 1: of her life. I'm very you know, intentional. But that's
Speaker 1: why I'm so, so so blessed that I trust my
Speaker 1: kids mom. I don't have no I don't care what
Speaker 1: where they at, what they're doing. I'm not into what
Speaker 1: niggas was around. I don't care who was over there.
Speaker 1: I know for a fact she's not letting nothing happen
Speaker 1: to them kids. That's the blessed, Like, that's the most incredible.
Speaker 1: I couldn't ask anything more than that. We can hate
Speaker 1: each other for the rest of our like I do.
Speaker 1: I am blessed to know that my children are safe
Speaker 1: and they're not in my presence.
Speaker 3: Well people A yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: People have kids with people and then turn the other
Speaker 3: like turn crazy. But it's like, at the end of
Speaker 3: the day, if you lay down and decide to have
Speaker 3: a kid with somebody, let's hope at the very least minimally,
Speaker 3: you trust them to care for your kids. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: and it sucks sometimes like you have kids young and
Speaker 3: you didn't really think the shit through and you're like, damn,
Speaker 3: you're kind of more way dumber than I thought, you know, like,
Speaker 3: can I trust your dumb ass? But like, you know,
Speaker 3: like the like I always say, I urge people at
Speaker 3: the very least, like at least have a baby the
Speaker 3: motherfucker you can trust, because I know, I see like
Speaker 3: a lot of men sometimes talking shit about their baby
Speaker 3: mamas and da da da, And I'm like, Nigga, that
Speaker 3: this reflects poorly on you because you're talking about a
Speaker 3: bitch that you willingly had a baby with. So if
Speaker 3: you think she's this, that, and that, that's to me
Speaker 3: a reflection of you because this is the agreement you
Speaker 3: made with this person for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But again I have to go back to the
Speaker 1: fact that women do it all the time, you know
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, so I think that it's in
Speaker 1: it's a phase that we all go through. Right when
Speaker 1: you first, when you're so newly upset, then anybody who listen,
Speaker 1: you're like, yo, this is what I'm going I hate
Speaker 1: this shit, right, So I think that you have that
Speaker 1: you still can express that disdain for whatever the actions were.
Speaker 1: But you make an incredible point, like you should be
Speaker 1: able to say. And that's how I judge anybody I date. Now.
Speaker 1: I always think to myself, if I had a kid
Speaker 1: with this person, how would that be? What I feel like?
Speaker 1: If I if it wasn't to work out, what I
Speaker 1: still feel like? I could trust them around my children,
Speaker 1: Like I don't leave my kids alone with strangers. My
Speaker 1: kids have had the same babysitter since they were kids
Speaker 1: with my kid is with my kids right now, they're
Speaker 1: with my mom, and if they my mom and my
Speaker 1: sisters have no my rules. Don't drop my son off
Speaker 1: or my daughter off to my son. He can't he's thirteen.
Speaker 1: But don't drop my daughter off to such and such house.
Speaker 1: I don't know who her father is. I don't know
Speaker 1: who his friend is, and I don't know his Don't
Speaker 1: take them over nobody's house unless you're right there with her,
Speaker 1: because I don't. It's not about oh, I know such
Speaker 1: and such. Yeah, but you don't know his nephew. You
Speaker 1: don't know the cousin, you don't know the aunt, you
Speaker 1: don't know any of these people. So yeah, I got
Speaker 1: a trust that I'm in a relationship with somebody who
Speaker 1: understands that and understands like, you can't just be like,
Speaker 1: Oh she's down the street, that her friend. What who's
Speaker 1: over there? Oh she has a brother. I have a
Speaker 1: my babysit of Erica. She's incredible human baby since my
Speaker 1: daughter was born, and she her her niece comes over
Speaker 1: sometimes with her when she baby says. Her niece says
Speaker 1: to me, I was leaving the house because she was
Speaker 1: coming in the babysit and she says, oh, I can't
Speaker 1: go to my mom says, I can't go in Charris's room.
Speaker 1: That's my son. I can't go in Charris's room. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're fucking right, you know what I mean, somebody was
Speaker 1: there to tell her that even though my son would
Speaker 1: never do nothing like that. They don't know my son.
Speaker 1: That's the rules. My mom said, I can't be over
Speaker 1: here if it's just us, because I can't go in
Speaker 1: Charris's room. You know, kids just to offer information, and
Speaker 1: I think that's cool. But if you don't trust that,
Speaker 1: you're right. You make an incredible point. You don't trust
Speaker 1: somebody to raise your children, or trust their character, trust
Speaker 1: who they are because anger is one thing. Again, I
Speaker 1: may not agree with how you responding anger, but your character.
Speaker 3: Is going to be like the siren. Also, I think
Speaker 3: the tool is that we have to give our kids
Speaker 3: the ability to rely on their intuition and have agency
Speaker 3: over their body and use their voice boy or girl,
Speaker 3: because people are fucking weird people You thought you knew, people,
Speaker 3: you think you know family teachers, Like the truth of
Speaker 3: the matter is like we're building kids to go out
Speaker 3: into a scary fucking world. And the real tool, the
Speaker 3: real valuable tool we're gonna give them. Obviously we're gonna
Speaker 3: protect them, but like we always have to give them
Speaker 3: the wherewithal to make decisions and be like if shit
Speaker 3: doesn't feel good, get the fuck up out of there
Speaker 3: and and call me and tell me. And ain't ain't shit.
Speaker 3: You can't tell me. And I don't give a fuck
Speaker 3: how old you are. I don't care if your boy
Speaker 3: or girl. I don't give a fuck who it is. Like,
Speaker 3: have the ability to be like I tell my kid,
Speaker 3: like you can say no, motherfucker whatever you need to say.
Speaker 3: Let motherfucking o you ain't fucking around eight or other,
Speaker 3: Like let a motherfucking know, like you're gonna know, Like
Speaker 3: my kid is not probably that little that little one
Speaker 3: right there, she gonna tell yes, keep it moving.
Speaker 1: You're predators, little eight year old.
Speaker 3: I'm not fucking with her. So I like the world
Speaker 3: is scary, and like, are the biggest gift we can
Speaker 3: give our kid is a voice.
Speaker 1: Even when I used to bathe my daughter, I used
Speaker 1: to say, Daddy, can't touch your private, you gotta touch you,
Speaker 1: gotta watch your private. So then when when as she
Speaker 1: got older, I would say, so if daddy can't touch
Speaker 1: your private, and who else can touch you? Nobody? Just me.
Speaker 1: I go through that all the time. Sometimes randomly, I'll
Speaker 1: just say, hey, believe in She's like, I'm like, daddy,
Speaker 1: it makes she was like what daddy, I say? Who
Speaker 1: can touch your private? Nobody?
Speaker 2: My god, I'm so happy that you do that. It's important.
Speaker 2: It's important to not And we talked about this a
Speaker 2: lot on our show. It's like you can't just say
Speaker 2: it one time and just think you've covered the ground,
Speaker 2: Like you're like, okay, well she knows now. It's like, no,
Speaker 2: you need to normalize it almost And if they're uncomfortable, oh.
Speaker 3: Well, I like, how was school today?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: You went to your grandma's house. I'm like, anybody touch
Speaker 3: your vagina lately? She's like, Mom, I'm like, just you.
Speaker 1: Know, exciting exactly.
Speaker 3: It's like, why are you being weird? I'm like, I'm not, Hi.
Speaker 3: I just got to ask the questions. I'm gonna ask
Speaker 3: you every other week. I don't care how nor did
Speaker 3: you write. It's got to cook, you know. Keep up,
Speaker 3: You're doing fine. Everything's good, school's good. They won't touch you, vagina,
Speaker 3: very well, good, good. Well.
Speaker 2: Before we get out of here, we had you pull
Speaker 2: a card, and you pulled the chariot.
Speaker 3: Card.
Speaker 2: And the chariot represents control, willpower, success, action, and determination.
Speaker 2: The chariot is a card of willpower, determination, and strength.
Speaker 2: You have discovered how to make decisions in alignment with
Speaker 2: your values with the Lover's card, and now you are
Speaker 2: taking action on those decisions. When the chariot appears in
Speaker 2: a tarot reading, take it as a sign of encouragement.
Speaker 2: You have set your objectives and are now channeling your
Speaker 2: inner power with a fierce dedication to bring them to fruition.
Speaker 2: When you apply discipline, commitment, and willpower to achieve your goals,
Speaker 2: you will succeed. If you are curious about whether you
Speaker 2: have what it takes to achieve your aim or complete
Speaker 2: an important project. The chariot is a sign you will
Speaker 2: be successful so long as you keep your focus and
Speaker 2: remain confident in your abilities. You need to use your
Speaker 2: willpower and self discipline to consecrate, to concentrate, consecrate too,
Speaker 2: to concentrate on the task at hand. You can't cut corners.
Speaker 2: You can't cut corners or take the easy route, or
Speaker 2: you will fail. Instead, to see this endeavor as a
Speaker 2: test of your strength and conviction and recognize that victory
Speaker 2: is within your reach, but it's up to you to
Speaker 2: follow through.
Speaker 3: Discipline. Seems like that applies to you. I can see that,
Speaker 3: and see being the.
Speaker 2: Chariot, willpower, determination, Yeah, speaking your language, I like it.
Speaker 2: So we usually ask our guests before we leave if
Speaker 2: you have a horror story. We have a horror story.
Speaker 2: And since you are one hundred percent former cheater, I'm
Speaker 2: wondering if you have any hotels, any hiding women in closets,
Speaker 2: throwing them off the balcony. I don't know anything like
Speaker 2: that that could possibly you could possibly share with our
Speaker 2: with our tribe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, very not. I'm not proud of some of these things.
Speaker 3: You got a role first, so you can heal later.
Speaker 1: They're part of the whole first, so you can heal later.
Speaker 2: They're part of the journey. I got to tweet that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: make sure you're at the whole shirt that says it
Speaker 2: now later.
Speaker 1: Ho now hell or he'll now.
Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes you hope first and you learn and then
Speaker 3: you heal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, this is so bad.
Speaker 3: Are you afraid of yourself? Are you afraid of your horrors?
Speaker 3: Ways a little bit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm not even I'm not even. I don't
Speaker 1: even behave that way anymore. But I want to still
Speaker 1: feel like it's scary because yeah.
Speaker 3: It's possibility.
Speaker 1: And also when when I first met with my kids mom,
Speaker 1: I didn't cheat like the first year and a half,
Speaker 1: like a long time, a married, short time, three years
Speaker 1: like that. But I was in the relationship of fourteen
Speaker 1: so but until she put the pressure on me to
Speaker 1: move in, to move her in with me, I never
Speaker 1: want to live with her. I thought we had a
Speaker 1: great thing going. I thought it was amazing, like because
Speaker 1: you can cheat, was cheating.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was like it killed.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love the fact that I would go pick
Speaker 1: her up, I would stay to night some night, she
Speaker 1: would stay to nice with me some nights I love
Speaker 1: that whole idea of not having and it scared me.
Speaker 1: It made me feel like suffocated, Like I have to
Speaker 1: live with this person and I don't want to live
Speaker 1: with somebody right now. I'm just now starting to do
Speaker 1: well in life. I don't want to have to live
Speaker 1: with anybody right So I think that that's what the
Speaker 1: relationship represents for me. Now it's like, oh shit, that's
Speaker 1: a real commitment. I have to talk to this person
Speaker 1: every day. I have to make sure I do this.
Speaker 1: I have to I have to spend vacations with it,
Speaker 1: I have to go. This is oh shit. And I
Speaker 1: like to be alone. I travel a lot by myself,
Speaker 1: you know, and I want to do that. I want
Speaker 1: to freedom to do that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I talked to guys. They be like, yo, you out
Speaker 1: there by yourself? Like yeah, damn, that's just crazy.
Speaker 3: People are afraid of being alone.
Speaker 1: I think no. But I just think guys admired that
Speaker 1: the freedom that I have to be able to get
Speaker 1: up and just say all right, I'm gonna spend the weekend.
Speaker 1: You can get a round trip ticket to Costa Rica
Speaker 1: for two hundred and fifty dollars. You get upgraded for free.
Speaker 1: If you executive platinum on American you go to a villa,
Speaker 1: a mansion villa in the forest for six hundred dollars
Speaker 1: a day. You stay three nights, that's eighteen hundred. All
Speaker 1: of that's two and a half grand that I spent
Speaker 1: in four days. And I could have went to dinner
Speaker 1: on the beach and spent that on dinner and going
Speaker 1: to a club afterwards, righting me buying drinks. So I
Speaker 1: look at that and I say, damn, it don't cost
Speaker 1: me much.
Speaker 2: Let me go and I'll take coast experience.
Speaker 1: I go alone, and I can be able to have
Speaker 1: that expension and I have that type of fun. I
Speaker 1: do that a lot. Imagine you're in a relationship and
Speaker 1: you're explaining to this woman that you're dealing with, like
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to go to Costa Rica by myself.
Speaker 1: She's like, you go to Jocko exactly.
Speaker 3: That was personal. That was a personal Sorry I even
Speaker 3: attack you that way.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of Costa Rica, you guys, we have just
Speaker 2: announced our next retreat in Costa Rica. If you haven't
Speaker 2: checked out the Good Vibrra treat, We're going to Costa
Speaker 2: Rica for New Year's that's December twenty eighth through January
Speaker 2: second this make sure you click the link in this
Speaker 2: episode description, you too can come alone and have a
Speaker 2: beautiful experience. I don't know about any AMEX cards you
Speaker 2: want to use, but if you have one or would
Speaker 2: you say, remember Class Executive.
Speaker 3: If you have one of.
Speaker 2: Those, you can use that too. But Rico, thank you
Speaker 2: so much for coming on. This was so much fun.
Speaker 3: It was fun. Shout out to Chelsea for connecting us.
Speaker 3: PR Guru. Where can the.
Speaker 2: People find you?
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram at i am Rico Love, on Twitter
Speaker 1: at I am Reco Love, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I say all right, We'll link everything in this
Speaker 2: episode description. Make sure you go and rate and review
Speaker 2: this episode. If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe, make sure
Speaker 2: you go follow the Good Vibra Treat. And if you
Speaker 2: want to get more juicy content that we don't release
Speaker 2: on the podcast, make sure you go check out our
Speaker 2: patreon that's patreon dot com, backslash, Good Mom's Bad Choices,
Speaker 2: and love you Bye Bye.
Speaker 3: Y solo record Las