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Speaker 1: Everything you go through, you learn. I think that all

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Speaker 1: men should study and understand postpartum. Agreed, because the problem

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Speaker 1: is I had no clue. And if I could really

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Speaker 1: apologize to my kid's mom for one major thing, it

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Speaker 1: was my ignorance to how postpartum works. And I'm going

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Speaker 1: to tell you why.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to good mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 2: I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy homp Day, My love. How

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Speaker 2: you feeling, I'm great. You guys, we are in Miami.

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Speaker 3: Hey, you know this is our first time. This is

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Speaker 3: the first time being in Miami together. True, and also recording,

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Speaker 3: and I am the best. I don't think we should

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Speaker 3: have ever been here in our twenties together, you know what.

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Speaker 3: I I'm a firm believer that our friendship happened towards

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Speaker 3: our end of our late twenties early thirties because we

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Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to handle being friends in our younger twenties.

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Speaker 3: It would have just been like level ten wretchedness. So

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Speaker 3: for the best of the people, for humanity, and for ourselves,

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Speaker 3: we've only made it to Miami together at thirty five,

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Speaker 3: when we're more a little bit more mature. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm having a good time. Can you take I just

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Speaker 3: this is my first time really talking a lot today,

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Speaker 3: so I feel like you can hear the recovery in

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Speaker 3: my voice. Lots of things have happened in the last

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Speaker 3: three days.

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Speaker 2: It's true. I sa our friend's birthday. So we're out

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Speaker 2: here shout out to cash Ley and so we've been

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Speaker 2: We've been, you know, good momming, bad choicing.

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Speaker 3: I feel like every time we're like, I coming to share.

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Speaker 3: But I have this mental conversation with myself and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you know what, you're older like, we're gonna relax, We're

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Speaker 3: gonna like get creative. We're gonna relax, drink a lot

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Speaker 3: of water and do some work. And then I get

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Speaker 3: to where I'm going and then I lose all sense

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Speaker 3: of all of that shit. I'm like drugs, alcohol, pool parties.

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Speaker 3: So that's where I'm at. Anyway, how are you feeling

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Speaker 3: about your You've been kind of turned up, have I Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're a very white girl wasted yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Oh thanks, we.

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Speaker 3: Were talking about you when you're looking or like, wow,

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Speaker 3: look at you can totally tell me Eric is drunk. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because you act like a drunken white girl.

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Speaker 2: Perfect.

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Speaker 3: Nisia said she's so nice when she's drunk. You can

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Speaker 3: totally tell her demeanor changes.

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Speaker 2: I was like, Damniti, she she's saying she's the post

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Speaker 2: being a bitch all the time. Perfect. I love that.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Anisha. Thanks No. I've just been enjoying myself.

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Speaker 2: I'm on vacation, I feelly. I haven't had a vacation

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Speaker 2: a while, even though it does look like our life

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Speaker 2: is a vacation. I know to some of you guys,

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Speaker 2: it's fucking not. So I've been just indulging, relaxing, and

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Speaker 2: I've had a great time. We had a book signing

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Speaker 2: shout out to NICKI. Thank you so much Nikki for

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Speaker 2: putting together our book signing work at Moms and everyone

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Speaker 2: that showed up and came out. I'm like, really happy

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Speaker 2: that we really do have a Florida try about here.

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Speaker 2: It was really cool to meet everybody and connect and.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Bessie, well, without further ado, because I know the

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Speaker 3: YouTubers hate when we do this. We have a very

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Speaker 3: special guest with us today, you guys know, and June.

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Speaker 3: We'd like to celebrate our zaddies. It's fine Zaddi June,

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Speaker 3: our annual find Zaddy June is with us again, and

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Speaker 3: today we've traveled to Miami and we're getting some Miami

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Speaker 3: Florida guest and today we have producer, artist songwriter father

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Speaker 3: Rico Love.

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Speaker 1: What's up with I'm listening. I'm like, damn, we got

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Speaker 1: really good podcast voices. I don't know if I have

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Speaker 1: the podcast voice. I was like, damn, I got to

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Speaker 1: compete with some amazing voices. Here.

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Speaker 3: You are the voice.

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Speaker 1: What you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: All you do is curate voices.

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Speaker 1: What you do, That's why I can hear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say, but if you think that

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Speaker 2: we have great voices, I will take that. Hear that

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Speaker 2: guy's real love things. We have great voices.

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Speaker 3: You know what. I'm happy you said that because last

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Speaker 3: night I came to the conclusion I just remembered. You

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Speaker 3: just reminded me. I was someone told us like, the

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Speaker 3: streaming money is where it's at, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: not in podcasting. And then she was like we should

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Speaker 3: do a collab and I was like, Erica, podcasting is over,

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Speaker 3: were rapping or we're going to be a group, so

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Speaker 3: figure it out.

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Speaker 1: And streaming in music.

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Speaker 3: She was like, the streaming money is crazy and literally

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Speaker 3: was like, so we're going to start rapping. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but if City Girls could do it,

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Speaker 3: so can we. I don't know if you heard Rico,

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Speaker 3: but we're the City Girls a podcast.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I.

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Speaker 3: Have a problem told us that he did say that.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I co signed that. You do

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Speaker 2: you do like fifty City Girls fifty? I don't know, Oprah, Okay, I.

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Speaker 3: Was gonna say six for to six. You're pushing it

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Speaker 3: very five? What's the Wasted White Girl podcast?

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Speaker 2: That is not what we are.

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Speaker 1: I saw this clip of Tony Braxton speaking about how

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Speaker 1: mean Oprah was to her on the show. And I

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Speaker 1: saw the clip and Tony Braxton had just foul for

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Speaker 1: bankruptcy and she went on Opra to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: and Oprah was like berating her, Like it was like,

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Speaker 1: do you feel like it's your fault? She was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm Oprah. You don't you have Gucci plates? And she

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you know, I'm Oprah and I don't

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Speaker 1: have Gucci plates. And it was what was going on.

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Speaker 2: She's trying to put in perspective for her. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I might need to release those Gucci plates.

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Speaker 3: I bit you think, I don't. I don't. I'm not surprised,

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Speaker 3: like does Oprah seem like the nice aunt?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just always thought Oprah seem really nice.

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Speaker 1: I know, her stance on the N where was always really.

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Speaker 2: Weird to me, because what is her stance on the

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Speaker 2: N word?

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Speaker 1: Anybody says it, but that's like a grandmother energy exactly

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Speaker 1: like somebody's. But I just thought she was aggressive about

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Speaker 1: the conversation about it. You know, when I see I

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Speaker 1: love I don't know if it's cool to say, but

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Speaker 1: I love Cosby right, like.

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Speaker 2: Everything goes here, just love Cosby.

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Speaker 1: But I would always get upset when he would criticize

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Speaker 1: the younger generation and names. And I feel the same

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Speaker 1: way about Steve Harvey. I just don't. Really, I'm not

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Speaker 1: a fan.

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Speaker 2: Don't don't get her started. But I just I didn't

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Speaker 2: have to look over.

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Speaker 1: I hated the way that he was always anti his

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Speaker 1: anti blackness young and you know, and I definitely as

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Speaker 1: a forty year old now, I always say I have

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Speaker 1: to say I'm forty at least six times a day

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Speaker 1: because you yourself, whenever you turn forty, you always are saying, like, bro,

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Speaker 1: I'm forty, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't shame about the new ship.

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Speaker 1: It is like, I'm I'm smart.

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Speaker 2: I don't do that no more forty like.

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Speaker 1: That, you like, I'm forty years what are you talking about? No?

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Speaker 1: But as a forty year I do look at things

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Speaker 1: that this generation does and I'm a little bit annoyed.

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Speaker 1: But I always think to myself, I'm in a business

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Speaker 1: where I have to try to understand it, right. So

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Speaker 1: I think that the Oprahs, that Bill Cosby's and the

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Speaker 1: Steve Abbys of the world, I don't think they gave

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Speaker 1: my generation to fear a shot and how to you know,

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Speaker 1: perceive It's always a really harsh criticism it. So I

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Speaker 1: think that now that I'm the age that they were

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Speaker 1: when they were doing that, to me, I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm a little bit I understand it a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But my approach to it is never like what are

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Speaker 1: y'all doing and y'all shouldn't do this, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I remember when Bill Cosby want in a tire rate

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Speaker 1: about stop naming your daughter's laquishiaq was. I remember that

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Speaker 1: and I was so annoyed with that because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's not that's somebody's name, and you know, you guys

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Speaker 1: will figure out and figure out a name for some

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Speaker 1: crazy Russian and some you know, like difficult name that

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Speaker 1: you feel like is European, but then you have a

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Speaker 1: hard time saying Laquishia. It's very easy to say Luquisia.

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Speaker 1: We said it.

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Speaker 3: I feel I agree. I feel like we got we

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Speaker 3: got worship to worry about, like then somebody's fucking name.

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Speaker 3: I also feel like I feel like I feel like

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Speaker 3: there's a thin line too, because some of the shit

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Speaker 3: be some like level four hundred nigga shit, and I'm embarrassed,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like I get it, like

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Speaker 3: I'm I I'm with the ships and I'm and I

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Speaker 3: don't like, I don't like us judging each other, like

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Speaker 3: like I hate that, like we already got enough shit

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Speaker 3: to like to deal with with everybody else judging us

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Speaker 3: and putting like stereotypes on us and us walking into

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Speaker 3: a building and have to like battle all those things

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Speaker 3: before even getting to anything. So I hate that we

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Speaker 3: do it to each other, especially like niggas like Steve Harvey.

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Speaker 3: I feel like he's like a performative monkey.

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Speaker 2: Tell the people how you say, you know, I think

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Speaker 2: you made.

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Speaker 3: A comment about like perform like he don't. He don't. Basically,

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Speaker 3: he didn't mind like chucking and jiving for the for

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Speaker 3: the check is what he said.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think that people of hit his

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Speaker 2: level of success have had to make certain sacrifices and

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Speaker 2: fit into certain boxes, and so they then think that

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Speaker 2: everyone else, in order to reach that level of success

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Speaker 2: needs to follow the blueprint that he followed, and if

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Speaker 2: they don't, there's judgment there. And also he comes from

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Speaker 2: a different time too, right, And now the whole thing, yeah,

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Speaker 2: where things were not there is very black and white.

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Speaker 1: I get the perspective of I come from this time,

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Speaker 1: and I get the perspective of this is how you

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Speaker 1: should behave because that part of it I get. But

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Speaker 1: I think that the approach, so when I talk about Steve,

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Speaker 1: or when I talk about Oprah or even mister Cosby,

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Speaker 1: is never like a y'all. I hate that y'all. I

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Speaker 1: think that the understanding of that the times are different

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Speaker 1: is there, but the approach in which you say is

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Speaker 1: always there. And I'm a big approach person. I'm a

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Speaker 1: big Something can turn me off totally, even if it's

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Speaker 1: I agree with what you're saying, But if the approach

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Speaker 1: is like, bro, like, I think we should try to

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Speaker 1: lead with love and be kind first, and that's better

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Speaker 1: because what you're what broke my heart about Bill Cosby

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Speaker 1: was like, you're telling people that the reason why you're

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Speaker 1: not getting these jobs is because your name and your daughters.

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Speaker 1: This is and it's like you're telling black people that

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Speaker 1: we can't express ourselves in certain ways and we can't

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Speaker 1: be unapologetically black because it'll hinder our relationship with corporate

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Speaker 1: White America. That is not something that a person who's

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Speaker 1: donated millions and millions and millions of dollars to HBCUs

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Speaker 1: should not be, you know, speaking like, Yeah, that shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be your approach my opinion, But.

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Speaker 3: I think it encourages us to perform. It encourages us

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Speaker 3: to like fit into these boxes and to and and

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Speaker 3: unfortunately we've all we've all been like uh in ways,

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Speaker 3: we've all had to be a product of that. Right,

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Speaker 3: you walk into the bank, you know how to talk,

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Speaker 3: you walk into the place, you know. But what I

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Speaker 3: find and this is my biggest argument when I like

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Speaker 3: people bring up shit like this, like, as black people,

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Speaker 3: you can't wear the bonnet. As black people, you can't

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Speaker 3: be loud. And of course I've gone to places and

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Speaker 3: niggas during nigga shit and I'm completely fucking embarrassed. Shut

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Speaker 3: the fuck off, you're embarrassing us all. But my dad

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Speaker 3: like put that like heavily on me or like you know,

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Speaker 3: my dad was like, don't wear we ves and like

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Speaker 3: all these things. And there are certain you know, like

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Speaker 3: black people in our chuest natures were expressive, loud, like happy, full,

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Speaker 3: colorful people. So it's like it doesn't make sense for

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Speaker 3: us to try and conform to this like bland, saltless whiteness,

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Speaker 3: like we're never going to be that. So that it

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Speaker 3: irritates me too, and I and I so I agree some.

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Speaker 1: Things annoying me across racial line, like regardless. So if

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Speaker 1: I'm on the airplane and the plane lands and somebody

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Speaker 1: gets on the phone and they're like he's a white guy,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, we're a terminal shiit, Like bro,

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Speaker 1: the same thing is when I get on the plane

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Speaker 1: and I hear a black person no matter what color.

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Speaker 1: But what I do notice is like frat guys are

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Speaker 1: going to Vegas, right, You go to Vegas and you

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Speaker 1: get in the plane and a bunch of the junk

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Speaker 1: white guys are like, bro, you're in the fucking in

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Speaker 1: obacam in first class. Like that's like it's annoying. But

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Speaker 1: people are like whatever, but we do it. But the

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Speaker 1: word nigga scares the shit out of people. So when

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Speaker 1: people like.

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Speaker 3: I kind of love it, I kind of love it.

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Speaker 3: I love to kind of see white people squirm a

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Speaker 3: little bit, like you're uncomfortable behind the.

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Speaker 1: Reason why it makes me uncomfortable in the sense that

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Speaker 1: I don't like us. I don't like us representing ourselves

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Speaker 1: like that. I prefer not to share it around white

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Speaker 1: people unless they friends of mine, because if they're friends

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Speaker 1: of mine, I'm like, nigga, I told you, they can't

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Speaker 1: see it. But I just feel like when I see

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Speaker 1: it in public, I'm like, we don't have to behave

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Speaker 1: this way. And the problem is Bruce. Bruce says something

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Speaker 1: years ago that I thought it was genius. He said,

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Speaker 1: I if a white man walks in here right now.

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Speaker 1: The difference between perceptions is if a white man walks

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Speaker 1: in here right now and he acts crazy and he's

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Speaker 1: drunk and he's belligerent, we'll say that white dude is crazy, right,

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Speaker 1: black man comes and does the same thing. The consensus

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Speaker 1: is black people, So I always keep that in mind.

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Speaker 1: I always consider like, even if I'm in a situation

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Speaker 1: where I be upset, I always behave myself in a way,

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Speaker 1: understanding that when I do something, I'm representing all of us,

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Speaker 1: even though it's not fair. Sometimes I definitely, but I

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Speaker 1: keep it in mind because I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: that nobody can leave the situation and saying even if

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Speaker 1: it's wrong, even if they're there, which is most of

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Speaker 1: the time wrong to judge somebody based off one experience

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Speaker 1: or judge a group of People's wrong to judge one

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Speaker 1: person off one experience, but it's even worse to judge

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Speaker 1: a whole race of people because of one experience you

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Speaker 1: have with one person on a Thursday night at a

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Speaker 1: club who was upset, right, So I always keep in

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Speaker 1: mind that it does happen, and I know that we

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Speaker 1: can't lift certain things down, so I make sure I

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Speaker 1: behave myself even when I'm angry. But I always believe

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Speaker 1: that we don't know who anybody is until they're angry.

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Speaker 1: So I always if I'm a good person, I'm a

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Speaker 1: good person. Angry. I'm a good person. Happy, I'm a

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Speaker 1: good person, said, how do I behave in a situation?

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Speaker 1: I'm basing that off of who I am and my character.

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Speaker 1: Your character does not mean the mood character is different.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna it's gonna be.

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Speaker 1: My mood can be can change, but my character can

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Speaker 1: never be. Question you can never change your character. Your

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Speaker 1: mood can change, never change the character. When's your birthday?

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, sad, I was gonna say something totally still

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Speaker 3: totally like some immature we're gonna say something important.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, I work at now.

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Speaker 3: I need no speaking of imagery and representing the blacks,

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Speaker 3: have you guys, have you guys seen Sukiana with a

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Speaker 3: good CoA cheese video where she's getting walked like a

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Speaker 3: dog with my blue face, I don't know one of

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Speaker 3: the babies, one of the blues and.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, it isn't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know we're gonna get we gotta brush up

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Speaker 3: on our rappers. So I don't like old. What do

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Speaker 3: you guys think? Were you guys disappointed in her being

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Speaker 3: walked like a.

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Speaker 1: Dog or I'm not disappointed in anything. That's her character,

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Speaker 1: that's who, that's the character she plays.

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Speaker 3: It's at least her brand and support the brand. I

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Speaker 3: wasn't really that mad at that. I said. This was

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Speaker 3: her idea, so it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: Like he suggested it. But I also have seen her

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Speaker 1: in the honest moments, and I understand it's a character

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Speaker 1: when when Jessica Simpson first came out and she's like

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Speaker 1: fishing to.

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Speaker 3: See is that right? Right?

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Speaker 1: She knew that she's not a moron. I know her

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Speaker 1: best friend, Casey right, we met years ago and she's

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Speaker 1: a good friend of mine. And I hung around Jessica

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Speaker 1: once and I was like, she's actually brilliant.

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Speaker 3: Another name Jessica Jessica Simpsons talk about name is Jessica.

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Speaker 1: No. But what I say is that when a white

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Speaker 1: girl acts really dumb and makes millions of dollars and

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Speaker 1: creates a brand off being a moron, then it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, but to understand to not even be able

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Speaker 1: to wrap your mind around the potential idea that this

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Speaker 1: black girl is smart enough to sell take it a bag.

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Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people I don't know

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys that said said they fuck her,

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Speaker 1: and guys took like you know what I mean? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I know a lot of guys, and I'd be like, right.

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Speaker 1: So the point is this part of this has to

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Speaker 1: be performative. Part is this has to say that this

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Speaker 1: is a this is a brank, this is an opening, and.

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Speaker 2: We're all we live in social media times. Is it

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Speaker 2: is performative. But I think about too, like you saying that,

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Speaker 2: you know, when a black person does something wild, that

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Speaker 2: it like categorized the whole community. And so I think

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Speaker 2: when she did that, a lot of people were mad

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Speaker 2: because they're like, oh, she's taking women back, taking black women,

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Speaker 2: and that's what's gonna say. That's what I was going

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Speaker 2: to say. I was like, you know, it's true because

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Speaker 2: they people were mad at that as well, even though

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Speaker 2: it was this woman's free will. She chose to do that,

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Speaker 2: no one made her, and she's she's she seems very

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Speaker 2: assertive in who she is. Doesn't seem like anyone's gonna

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Speaker 2: force her to do shit.

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Speaker 1: It's hilarious to me. I think it's comedy. I don't

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Speaker 1: look at it. It's even like you know, like she's promoting.

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Speaker 1: I think it's comedy. I think she's making a huge

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Speaker 1: joke and I don't think anybody is laughing. But I

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Speaker 1: think that a lot of people were laughing, like, but

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Speaker 1: I'm with her. I'm thinking, but I'm thinking some people

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Speaker 1: are not understanding that this is well. I think behind

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Speaker 1: closed doors, she's like, are they nuts? They really believe that?

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Speaker 1: I believe this stuff?

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Speaker 3: You know, she's smart. She's the only reason I started

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Speaker 3: following her is because she was like a big She

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Speaker 3: was a big like she was supporting like breastfeeding. She's

356
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Speaker 3: a lot of kids, and how she was like breastfeeding

357
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Speaker 3: and how it's like much more like healthy. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting this from her, but that's where I

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Speaker 3: started following her. So it's your like you said, perception

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Speaker 3: and what and then it's like you do one thing

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Speaker 3: and it's a maybe a slither of your existence and

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Speaker 3: then everybody's like perceives that that's your whole existence, and

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Speaker 3: like like he's like especially for women, especially for black people,

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Speaker 3: especially for mothers, especially for fathers, And I think like

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Speaker 3: even for us, we talk a lot of shit, we

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Speaker 3: tall a lot of our business and obviously like people,

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Speaker 3: we can listen to us in all seven hundred fucking

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Speaker 3: hours for the last five years, but it's still a

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Speaker 3: very small of who we are, you know, but you

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Speaker 3: see a thirty second clip and I'm like, and.

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Speaker 1: That's what when you said earlier? So you don't like

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Speaker 1: when black people judge each other. And I think that

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Speaker 1: that's the key, Like we have to be able to

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Speaker 1: be open enough to realize that this is a person

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Speaker 1: speaking about one element or aspect of their life at

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Speaker 1: one period of their life, one moment, how we feel,

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Speaker 1: and we also have to understand it. Sometimes you'll blurt

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Speaker 1: out something just based on the first reaction, and later

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Speaker 1: on you'll think about it, like I don't think I

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Speaker 1: agree with what I said earlier. Right, we have to

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Speaker 1: give each other that luxury. It's almost like a picture,

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Speaker 1: right when people see like a picture of I don't know,

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Speaker 1: Nicki minaj right, Nicki Minajen. It's a bad picture, right,

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00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, oh my gosh, she looks terrible,

385
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 1: But you just had your friend take a picture for

386
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Speaker 1: you fifty times because you didn't like the way that picture.

387
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 1: Now she don't get to tell paparazzi let's take this

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Speaker 1: picture again. She's just walking and being herself. So I

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Speaker 1: think that we have to be open and these are moments,

390
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 1: these are seconds, these are quick spurts of reactions sometimes

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Speaker 1: that people have. We have to give each other the

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Speaker 1: grace to say, you know, maybe she just was feeling

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Speaker 1: that at the moment, or maybe she was just a

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Speaker 1: little bit you know, she just was being spontaneous and

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Speaker 1: voicing out something that may not necessarily be how she

396
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Speaker 1: views things. And I think with Sukiana, though, I think

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Speaker 1: it's like it seems very strategic and I get it.

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00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: And it's like with Charlamagne, and when Charlamagne came out,

399
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,199
Speaker 1: I hated Charlemage. When he first came out there, I

400
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 1: thought he was gossipy. I remember doing Breakfast Club. I

401
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: remember doing Breakfast Club a few times and he would

402
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 1: say things and I was just like, no, bro, you

403
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: got to give. And he would. I saw he was

404
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 1: he would do it on purpose. Yeah, but I see

405
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: that now he's coming around. I've always now I have

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00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 1: for the past like maybe seven eight years, I've had

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Speaker 1: this few mungous respect for him and I know him personally.

408
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: But I think that to watch the evolution is the key,

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00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: Like we should always understand it. Okay, I can't hate

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Speaker 1: you or not like you because of this thing I

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Speaker 1: saw you say in two thousand and five, and then

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Speaker 1: I see in twenty fifteen, in twenty twenty two and

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Speaker 1: twenty three, and I don't like you, and it's like no,

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00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 1: it's just like this person has, you know, like an evolution.

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00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 1: It's like I've had an evolution. This person has the opportunity,

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00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 1: should have the opportunity. You have that evolution. Now, if

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00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: that doesn't change, then I can maintain my level of annoyance.

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00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of evolution, I want to get to know

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Speaker 2: you a little better. I really don't know much about you,

420
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,919
Speaker 2: Greco Love, So, like, where are you from? What's your

421
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Speaker 2: what's what's your what's your story? Obviously you're a major

422
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 2: producer songwriter, but like, who were you before? Have you

423
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 2: always been this? Like I'm like kind, open, accepting human.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's really cool. This is super humbling and

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00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: nice because I've never done anything with people who didn't

426
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: know me right, So that's cool because it feels like

427
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 1: you can ask me and speak to me from away

428
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Speaker 1: and not perceive or assume anything because you really kind

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Speaker 1: of don't know much about me.

430
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 2: I'm gon keep it on, I'm gonna keep it one hundred.

431
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 2: I We've did very minimal research, and I said, you

432
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 2: know what. We're just going to talk him like we

433
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: do and to know him right here.

434
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 1: Cool. So I'm a songwriter and producer. I grew up

435
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: in between Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and New York. My mother's from Milwaukee,

436
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: my dad's from New York. My parents I went back

437
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 1: and forth with my parents growing up. I write and

438
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 1: produced music.

439
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 2: I've also, have you always liked since a child been

440
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: into music?

441
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 1: I've always been into music. I started my rap career.

442
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: I started as a rapper and I was signed to

443
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: Usher as a rapper. That's how I got my start,

444
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 1: and then I ended up writing a song on a

445
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: Confessions album to so, I wrote a song called Throwback

446
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: on the Confessions album and I co wrote a song

447
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: called Seduction, and that was my first time writing songs.

448
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 1: And after that, after the label stuff fell too, I

449
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 1: just kept writing songs.

450
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 3: So that was never your intention. You're just going to

451
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 3: be a rapper. And then I said what I was

452
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 3: going to be?

453
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 2: Jay Z were like, wait, I can actually write R

454
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: and B songs?

455
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

456
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And a lot of rappers actually are pretty good

457
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 2: R and B writers.

458
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,640
Speaker 3: Well it because if you're a lyricist and you can,

459
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 3: you can do it fast. You can slow it down.

460
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: No, I think it's not. I think it's the melodic sensibility.

461
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times artists now forced to

462
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 1: be melodic in today's age because that's where music is,

463
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: so the ones who cut through are usually the most

464
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 1: melodic ones. I don't necessarily think that it's an absolute

465
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: skill in this day and age. I think that some

466
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: people are extremely talented. But I think in order for

467
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: a record to work now melodically, it doesn't take much,

468
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: you know. I think fans now they like they appreciate

469
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: the person and then if the song is okay, we'll accept,

470
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 1: we'll elevate, we'll exalt this song because we like you

471
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 1: so much. When I hear a lot of great, big, big,

472
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: big artists with okay songs that people absolutely love because

473
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 1: they love the artists. So it's different. When I was

474
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: coming up in the business, it was more like if

475
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: you had a hit, you were golden.

476
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 2: Well, you didn't have a lot of I mean back then,

477
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 2: there wasn't a lot of access. You didn't feel like

478
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: you can know the artists. It almost felt like they

479
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: were like this bigger than life person, which they still are.

480
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: But because of social media, you can actually go on

481
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 2: their page, see their tiktoks, get to know them, fall

482
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 2: in love with them, so that when they put their

483
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 2: music out, even if it ain't that great, they're like, well,

484
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 2: I fuck with them on social investors, whereas before it's

485
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 2: like you don't really know this, you really got a

486
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: fund us.

487
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: Was really cool. The fact that I didn't know Whitney Houston,

488
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 1: even though she was my girlfriend, Like, but the fact

489
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 1: that I didn't know her was really cool. It made

490
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 1: me like wow. Or the fact that the distance between

491
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: and I was very obviously very young, with the distance

492
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 1: between the Thriller album and a bad album was eight years,

493
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 1: and that was like anticipation. I can't wait now if

494
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 1: you don't put out a record every lease in two

495
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: years something like yeah, a new act has to put

496
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: out music at least every other you know, a month

497
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 1: or quarter right something a project and then established act.

498
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: You can't go too long. Beyonce it has that luxury,

499
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because she's Beyonce, and also

500
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: she has to do other things with that within that time,

501
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,679
Speaker 1: because it's it's in the wather have you done for

502
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,479
Speaker 1: me lately? Era? But I think that when I was

503
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: you know, coming up in the business with a level

504
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: of mystique. It was level of I don't know much

505
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 1: about you, and that's the beauty of it. But now

506
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: it's like you almost have to figure out how to

507
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 1: sell your relationship and your publicist has to put you

508
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: in this place, and like literally people are linking up

509
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 1: like you know, like, oh, I'm gonna date this person

510
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 1: in you know, money bag Yo. MEGANI Stallion were dating

511
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 1: for a little while because the publishers were like, this

512
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 1: could be a good look, this thing will happen over here.

513
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: So I think that that has shifted and changed the

514
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 1: narrative musically. But in my case, when I came into business,

515
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: it was you know, through usher and I ended up

516
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: writing a song and realized I had a gift, and

517
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: I just kept going and kept doing and kept doing

518
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: and kept doing so when the label stuff fell through,

519
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: I just continued to write records, you know. But that's

520
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: in a nutshell what I do. I write and produce records.

521
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: I also have a music conference called that We Love

522
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: Music Conference. I do mentor. I mentor up and coming

523
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: producers and artists. Up until very recently, as the vice

524
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,360
Speaker 1: chairman of the Grammys, I was, I'm actually the vice

525
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: chairman of the Grammys until June first. Yeah, so I

526
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: still have to I did say that, but I'm also

527
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: the chairman of the BMC, which is the Black Music

528
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: The Grammy.

529
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: Is rigged, no, because they be pissing me the funk off.

530
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: No, No, But but I'm not actually.

531
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 2: Second No, No, it comes out after this comes out

532
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: after first.

533
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: I want to ask you this, how how does the

534
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 1: Grammys work?

535
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 3: People vote?

536
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: Who votes the industry? Right who?

537
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 3: Not the people?

538
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 2: Not the people? People, not the people, y'all vote.

539
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: It's not the people's choice of warr Who is y'all

540
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: the board?

541
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 2: Who the Grammy board?

542
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: All right, So see that's the first that's the first step. Right,

543
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: that's the first step. Right when you're watching the basketball game,

544
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: you could say the referee is cheating because I know

545
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: who is officiating the game. A lot of people say,

546
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 1: is the Grammy's rigged? And then I asked them, who,

547
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: how does it work? And you guys have no clue? Right, Well?

548
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 3: Is it?

549
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,360
Speaker 2: I just feel like there's people in there that have

550
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 2: and like it's in their best interest for certain people

551
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: that they know. I don't know. Different. You're a producer, right,

552
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: So wouldn't it being your best interest for one of

553
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 2: your artists dominated.

554
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: Having all my artists been nominated.

555
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 2: Because there's other producers that are also on this board

556
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 2: that also want their people.

557
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: Okay, so which one of them has their artists in it?

558
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: I don't know.

559
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: We don't know, right, I don't know. So we got

560
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: But this is the thing, right, when people on social

561
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,359
Speaker 1: media and they're talking about things, they don't have me

562
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: or anybody else to stand there and ask them those

563
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: counter questions because if they did, they would respond just

564
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 1: like you did, like, damn, I don't really do.

565
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 2: Let me ask you the better question. Do you think

566
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: the Grammys actually represent what is what we as as

567
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 2: a people are interested in? Like I find that a

568
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 2: lot of times people win Grammys and I'm like, what

569
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: the fuck?

570
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 1: Okay, So who are the people you're talking about?

571
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: The listeners, the people that are buying the music.

572
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's the problem. We have a smaller percentage

573
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: of black members who actually vote. So the problem is

574
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: there's gonna be discrepancies. It's going to be definitely a

575
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: different point of view when it comes to who wins

576
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: and who loses. If black people and people of color

577
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 1: aren't involved in the voting process. So what happens is

578
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: if you release a certain amount of records and you

579
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: qualify to be a voting member, but you're not a

580
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: voting member. I asked for a rapper say I'm not nominated.

581
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: Why I'm not nominated? I'll say, are you a voting member? No?

582
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 3: How do you? How do you voting member?

583
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: You go down to grammy dot com. You're clicking, I'm

584
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: very serious. Go to grammy dot com right now. You

585
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: click the those three slat tab on its corner. It's

586
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: gonna things gonna open up. It's gonna say membership. You

587
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: click membership, and it's going to show you where you

588
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 1: can qualify. Every March you can qualify. March first is

589
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: where the deadline ends. But between February and March weather

590
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: you can become a register to be a voting member.

591
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: And so many people qualify to be voting members. If

592
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: every artist, if every black artist, all of their engineers,

593
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: all of their producers, they're managed. Everybody who qualifies signed

594
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: up to be voting members. Then when the ballots come around,

595
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: when nominations come up, you can submit yourself and to

596
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: be there. The thing about the Grammys is is not

597
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 1: about who's the most popular. So when people say why

598
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: wasn't such and such nominated, they had the biggest album,

599
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: and then you'll say, well, why this person won't because

600
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 1: it was a better album based on the voting members. Now,

601
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,959
Speaker 1: sometimes it's situations where Adele winds album in the year

602
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: and she says, I don't deserve this. Beyonce deserves this.

603
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: But it's not because there's a bunch of white people

604
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,880
Speaker 1: in a little small room saying we like Adele Veteran's

605
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: fits our narrative. No, it's because the voting members are

606
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: more familiar with that Adele record than they are that

607
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: Beyonce record. And sometimes they don't vote for what they

608
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: listen to. They vote for who they recognize. So what

609
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: we have to do is we have to become voting

610
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: members and make sure that we fight the power and

611
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: we make sure we say I'm gonna speak up and

612
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: speak out for this particular artist because I believe in them.

613
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 1: And if we have a bunch of people people fighting

614
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: for certain artists, is this thing called for your consideration?

615
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: Fo I see? And artists will put up a for

616
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: your consideration post on Instagram. Into voting members and say, hey,

617
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: for your consideration, I'm up for Best New Artists, vote

618
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: for me. I'm up for Album of the Year, I'm

619
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: up for Song of the Year. Vote for me. And

620
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: that's how they promote amongst voting members. So a lot

621
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: of times when people say it's you guys, now, it's

622
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: not the board that votes. We can vote, I can vote,

623
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: I have a vote, But it's a twenty five thousand

624
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: voting members around the country who decide. Now, if it's

625
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: if we make up eighty five percent of how it works,

626
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: and then and then, as far as TV goes, CBS,

627
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: we have a deal with CBS CBA. We hire producers

628
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: to produce the show. Now, just because the show is

629
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: produced a certain way for visibility doesn't mean that you like.

630
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: For instance, if we put Beyonce in the front row

631
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: and people say, y'all use Beyonce put in the front row,

632
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: and y'all know she's gonna lose or she's not gonna win.

633
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: By the way, she's the most all time winning Grammy

634
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: Artists artist Grammy Award winning artists of all time, including Michael,

635
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: including Mariah Yeah, She's won more Grammys than any human

636
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: person in the history of the Recording Academy, right, so so,

637
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: but she has the one album of the year. She's

638
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: never won Album of the Year. So why is that?

639
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: Because I believe that sometimes those voting members are going

640
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: to go with people they recognize. Do I voted for

641
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: Beyonce to winn Album of the Year personally, right, So

642
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: if she loses, I can't say, oh, it must be rigged.

643
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: It must be I just literally have I'm in a

644
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: room and I literally was running for Vice Share Again,

645
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: I've done incredible things Advice Shair, never ever had any

646
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: bad energy, and I lost Vice Share seat. Right. I

647
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: can't look at the room and say it's rigged you

648
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: guys for whatever reason, even though I feel like still

649
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: I'm more visible or more qualified, I've done incredible work.

650
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, I didn't win, and that's okay. I

651
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: still chairman of the BMC. I still can represent a

652
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: fight for black people inside of Recording Academy. But when

653
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: I look into it, I say, it must not have

654
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: been enough people representing me and the interest that I

655
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: believe in that room. So when Beyonce doesn't win, I'm

656
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: just using her as an example. I feel in my

657
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: heart it must not be enough people who look and

658
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 1: understand who she is and the level of who she

659
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: is and respect her music and our art in that

660
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 1: voting process. So what we have to do is encourage

661
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: people who look like us to vote. That's it. If

662
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: we say fuck the Grammys, and I say, well, tell

663
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: me about the Grammys, you can't answer it. Then you

664
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: say in the fucking system that you don't know how

665
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: it works. I'm going to tell you what the Grammys

666
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: does do. The Grammys is a nonprofit organization that show

667
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: we do. The awards we give out is just to

668
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 1: pay for the work that we do for a creatives.

669
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: If you are a music person, you do music full time.

670
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: We have an organization called Music Heres. You do music

671
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: full time. You can be singing at a pub. You

672
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: could be a piano player on a cruise ship. You

673
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 1: could be a DJ. You can be a songwriter. I

674
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: never had one of Grammy, never sold any records. But

675
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 1: you do music full time. You come to us and say, hey,

676
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: Grammy's my roof is caving and I don't have money

677
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: to fix the roof. We're giving you the money. If

678
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: you say, my teeth coming out, I don't have money.

679
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: I don't insurance. The pandemic hit. I don't have a job,

680
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: I'm behind on my bills. We're giving you money. We

681
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: gave away almost eighty million dollars during the pandemic.

682
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

683
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: So when you think about the Grammys, all of those

684
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: tickets that you buy to go to the Grammys, that

685
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,719
Speaker 1: money comes and we take that money and give it

686
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: to people. But I think people of color have no

687
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: clue that that exists. And that's why. And if you

688
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: want to say, if anything, I say that that can

689
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: make some people uncomfortable when I go out and speak

690
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: to our people about how it works, that can make

691
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: people uncomfortable because a lot there are a few people,

692
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: I think who are kind of like Leary about, you know,

693
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: the look and the feel of the organization. But I

694
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: do believe that, in its true essence, what the Grammys represents.

695
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: When you say fuck the Grammys, you're saying fuck the

696
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of a million dollars that we've given

697
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: to black creatives, or to creatives in general, or the

698
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: potential that we have to help and build the music community.

699
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: No other award show is doing that, No other award

700
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: show is saying So when people say they did the

701
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: Billboard Awards. Yeah, the Billboards a great, great show, right,

702
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 1: But the Billboard Awards is strictly based off the Billboard charts.

703
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: So you know who's gonna win the Billboard Awards, or

704
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: you have to do is look at the charts. Whoever

705
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: had the biggest p they win. The Grammys is more

706
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: given opportunities for people who may not have been heard

707
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: but they had a quality album. There's a group called

708
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: King three Sisters, three black females who had an a

709
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: nomination when the Internet won Best R and B PJ.

710
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: Moore Than has won four Grammys. You know, Robert Glaspers

711
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: one Mini Grammys. Like these are artists that otherwise the

712
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: mainstream would not have known who they are. And that's

713
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: the opportunity because it's peer based and it's voted on

714
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: by your peers, and it's about who we feel like

715
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: had the best record as opposed to who was the

716
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: most popular. Sometimes those things go hand in hand. Sometimes

717
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: they don't. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get

718
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: it wrong. It happens.

719
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: Got it well. Breaking that down change my perspective slightly.

720
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: I just kind of made the show really boring.

721
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.

722
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 3: I didn't even ever, I never even thought about how

723
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 3: the fun this ship comes about. I'm just like, I

724
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 3: don't know bonn Iver, I don't know who I was

725
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 3: like turning off.

726
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: Me too.

727
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at it. It's just I feel like culturally,

728
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 3: just black and white people have just different musical tastes.

729
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: You know.

730
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: It's just like, you know, maybe a lot of white

731
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,760
Speaker 2: boys that those rap shows.

732
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 3: That's a fact, and they've.

733
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: Been able to take the problem is that we don't

734
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: give hip hop. It's just do when when we a

735
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: lot of times people will play it and it will

736
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: seem like it's a novelty that I'm like, they're just

737
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 1: goofing around, But like, this is a true art form

738
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: and it should be respected. And I think that the

739
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 1: difference is that they are. There's enough white people in

740
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 1: the world to that if only white people like something,

741
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: that'll still do well. It's not enough of us that

742
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: if only we like it, it'll be able to what

743
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: we consider crossover. So whenever they do like it, what

744
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 1: it does is it opens up for us to make

745
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: a ton of money. So it's incredible when we're able

746
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: to quote unquote crossover, which I hate that term, but

747
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: when we do that it's incredible, and hip hop has

748
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: been able to monetize on all levels. It's the most

749
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: streamed genre in the world. It's the most powerful force

750
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: there is. And the fact that other cultures like it

751
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: and embrace it is beautiful because now we're able to

752
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: monetize in so many different ways. We're able to become

753
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: use our image and our energy and our likeness to

754
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: go and create other streams of revenue for ourselves because

755
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: other cultures love and respect and appreciate what we create

756
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 1: in our bedrooms and on our tour buses and our closets.

757
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 1: You know, they sure do.

758
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 3: With the taste makers.

759
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 2: Yes, speaking of taste makers, we have our show. We

760
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 2: ask our guests to share an affirmation. I was wondering

761
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 2: if you could share an affirmation that you tell yourself.

762
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Every day I tell myself, I'm walking into peace,

763
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm walking into wealth.

764
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 3: I'm walking into peace, I'm walking into wealth.

765
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: Yes, And I decide every day what piece is for

766
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: me in that day, and what wealth looks like for

767
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: me in that day. What does it look like today today?

768
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 1: Wealth is wealth of happiness and positivity. Right, Obviously, I

769
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: want to make a billion dollars, which I think all

770
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: of us do most of us. But I also understand

771
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 1: that in order for me to have wealth. In that perspective,

772
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 1: the way you do anything is the way you do everything.

773
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 1: So if I'm wealthy and happiness and peace, then I

774
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: know that I can exercise that same level. If I

775
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: can just grab peace the same way I feel I

776
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: can grab money, it'll be the same thing. The way

777
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: you do anything as the way you do everything. I

778
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: want to be just as peaceful in my heart and

779
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: in my mind and my body as I am financially.

780
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 2: I love that. What what are you doing in your

781
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 2: life when you feel the happiest, Like, what are you

782
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 2: doing in that moment?

783
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, swimming with my daughter, with my kids,

784
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 1: me and my son, riding bikes, or just my daughter

785
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: leaning on my lap, watching the movie, my dad, my

786
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 1: son leaning on my shoulder, my dad behind me, making

787
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: some dinner, you know, my mom in some of the

788
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: room where you know?

789
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 2: Are you married?

790
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: No? No? No?

791
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: Are your children by the same?

792
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was married at one time.

793
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 3: How long?

794
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 2: How long are you married? For?

795
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:30,240
Speaker 1: Three and a half years?

796
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: Three and a half years? Well, would you do it again?

797
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 3: No? Why you're done? Why?

798
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 1: I think it's an outdated construct.

799
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: Would you have partnership long term partner?

800
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,439
Speaker 1: Yea, absolutely. I believe in connection and love. I don't

801
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 1: believe in contracts when it comes to how we feel

802
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: about each other.

803
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 2: Do you want any more children?

804
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: Yes? I love baby broth oh, I like babies, you know.

805
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: And I think that speaking on that, it's so many

806
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,399
Speaker 1: people that would be upset that people do when people

807
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 1: don't like marriage, right, Like, I don't ever see somebody

808
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: get married.

809
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 2: And say so when you got married, it was it

810
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 2: not what you expected? Like because your marriage didn't work out?

811
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 2: Is it because it didn't work out as that why.

812
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 1: I never wanted to be married?

813
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 3: Then what happened?

814
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: I just no, No, I did it? I did it.

815
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 2: Did you have a whole wedding? Did you have like

816
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,320
Speaker 2: a whole not really whole thing.

817
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: At the house? I did it to to I don't know.

818
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: I just did it because I was trying to make

819
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: somebody happy, you know. But it definitely was something not

820
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: something I ever wanted to do, you know. But it's

821
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: if people like that and like that idea, that's for them,

822
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: you know. I just don't like when people get upset

823
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: when we say we don't you know, you don't agree

824
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: with Dick your marriage, people get really angry and it's like, well,

825
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: you're not going to marry me, you don't want to

826
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: be like, I don't even know he's so kids. What

827
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 1: I think about marriage.

828
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 3: Is a concept of what we talked about, like being

829
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 3: stuck in your ways, Like you know, when when the

830
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 3: world is used to doing something a certain way, they're

831
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 3: going to consistently try and hold you to that standard

832
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 3: because that's the norm, you know. So it's like, why

833
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 3: don't you like marriage? You're just like, if you say

834
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 3: anything against the grain, people are going to come against you.

835
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 3: Say anything against religion, anything against you know, marriage, everyone's.

836
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: Like and even with that religion is like, if you're

837
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: truly understanding what your belief system is, then you believe

838
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: in the power that you believe in. Then it's not

839
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: in your you know, wheelhouse to tell somebody what they're

840
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: supposed to do. Your job is to love them, you know,

841
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: in my job. I'm a Christian, right, but I'm not

842
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: an idiot, and most Christians, I think are idiots. Right,

843
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: So when I look at that, I say to myself,

844
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: I know that I don't believe. I can't believe in

845
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: my heart that God is going to make all these

846
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 1: people burn in hell. And then I say to you,

847
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 1: God is loved not for you, not for you. Don't

848
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:56,280
Speaker 1: do that, Yeah, don't pray to the Mary, Yeah, because

849
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: you know that sounds ridiculous. So what I believe is

850
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: that whatever I believe in my heart, the essence of

851
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: what that is has to come out of me. And

852
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, then I'm not operating in the true

853
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: essence of what that belief system is. And I think

854
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,839
Speaker 1: in all things everybody has a choice. Then if I

855
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: believe that it's my job to police everybody's choice, then

856
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: what do I need God for? What do I need

857
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: the higher power that I believe in for? You know?

858
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: So I just don't believe in that. And when it

859
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: comes to relationships and marriage, I think everybody has to

860
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 1: do things the way that they do them. I personally

861
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: don't believe that I should ever have to fight to

862
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: not deal with somebody anymore. I don't think I should

863
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: ever have to go to court to say I don't

864
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't. We agree that we don't like

865
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: each other anymore.

866
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 2: We're better, and we agree that we don't like well

867
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 2: tell you that we don't fuck with each other anymore.

868
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 2: We like to, but we're gonna pay them to make

869
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 2: sure that you know, we don't.

870
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: You. That to me is crazy. That to me is ridiculous.

871
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: You know.

872
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: But are your parents married?

873
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: No, not anymore but their friends.

874
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: So I mean, I just care because, like sometimes, you know,

875
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: we see our parents' marriages not work out, like for

876
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 2: me might. Neither one of my parents have ever been married,

877
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 2: and so for a long most of my life, I

878
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: never like ever considered marriage, never wanted marriage, because I

879
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 2: just haven't seen it. I just haven't seen it. I

880
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 2: haven't seen it.

881
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: Literally.

882
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: Do you think that because your parents were married and

883
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,959
Speaker 2: you did see that was kind of maybe also why

884
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 2: you said, all right, well I'll get married. This seems

885
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,399
Speaker 2: like the next thing to do.

886
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 1: No, I never ever wanted to as as an adult.

887
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 2: So it was purely just to make someone's happy. You

888
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 2: had no interest in marriage, you just had it.

889
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:35,839
Speaker 1: Made it very clear.

890
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure, like sixty percent of men get married

891
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: to shut the fuck the woman, to shut the no.

892
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 1: That that's that's definitely what happened.

893
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure.

894
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: But I also do understand that, and I don't fault

895
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: my kids mom for wanting to be married or even

896
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: though when we first met we both said we didn't

897
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 1: want to be married. But I think that's sometimes outside pressure.

898
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: Like when you're posting this happiness and you're in this

899
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: great place, then somebody in the comments is like, but

900
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: you don't have a ring. That's what we see. And

901
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 1: I think that that's the problem that people, the pressure

902
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 1: that people put on women. It's like, but you're not married.

903
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: He didn't marry you. He didn't.

904
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 2: It's like, well, well, first of all, that's what's on you.

905
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 3: That's your problem. He left you because you had a.

906
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: Baby's exactly right.

907
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,399
Speaker 2: But men to that ship to women all the time too,

908
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 2: I mean, should well every post we talked about anything

909
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: matter like.

910
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that you're not married, that's that's why you

911
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 3: had a baby without like that's why he left you.

912
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: But I think they suckers too, who do that, like

913
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: I think anybody. I don't. I don't like I'm across

914
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: the board with stupidity. I just see it as stupidity, right,

915
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: And I think that anytime you try to put pressure

916
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: on a person and that's can be overwhelming. So I

917
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: can't look at my kids mom and say she made

918
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: me marry her. No, I think that she felt something

919
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 1: and I think that people put pressure on her to

920
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: make me feel like this was and I but I

921
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 1: did it. I made that decision even though I knew

922
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 1: in my heart that was a decision I shouldn't have made.

923
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: The best part about any any of it is that

924
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: how it protects me and when it comes to my children.

925
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I'm grateful for, because if

926
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 1: you baby daddy, you get no rights when it comes

927
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: to kids, Like somebody could literally leave the state and

928
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: you have no control. O.

929
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 3: No, have you signed the birth certificate.

930
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 1: They still can leave if you didn't marry.

931
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 2: It's just to state it's.

932
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: Different, like you could literally just take the kids and

933
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: move away. And since I was married, it kind of

934
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 1: helps in that sense.

935
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 2: Do you think that if you get a divorce to you,

936
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 2: the woman should give the ring back.

937
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: I didn't buy a ring.

938
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 3: There was no ring.

939
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,760
Speaker 2: You're smart, man, I'll.

940
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 3: Give you this.

941
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 1: I was broke. I was broke. I went broke at

942
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: the time of my marriage.

943
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,320
Speaker 3: How many times have you been broke? He broke?

944
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 2: Not how many times?

945
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 3: If you're curious, you know you up you be down.

946
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: I just want to know it's ups and downs. I

947
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: had a few really major setbacks in life, but I

948
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 1: always believe in like that's a testament of who you are.

949
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: Like if I ever if you ever speak to somebody

950
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: who never fell off, I don't really want to. I

951
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: don't need advice from a person who never experienced hardships.

952
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: So in this game, it's a bunch of ups and downs.

953
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: So when you go from being able to do so

954
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: much for somebody and then you can't, I felt like,

955
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: oh man, all I can do is give up my

956
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 1: last name. At this point, I was doing so bad

957
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:30,720
Speaker 1: in life at that particular moment. But I think that, yeah,

958
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 1: you go through a lot of things in life. So yeah,

959
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: I've been up up, up, down, down, down, up, up, up, down, down, down,

960
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 1: up up up. You know, no prayer we should stay up,

961
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But I think you learn

962
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: as you experienced. You, like even with relationships, like everything

963
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 1: you go through you learn. I think that all men

964
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: should study and understand postpartum agreed because the problem is

965
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: I had no clue. And if I could really apologize

966
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 1: to my kids mom for one major thing, it was

967
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,879
Speaker 1: my ignorance to how postpartum works. And I'm gonna tell

968
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 1: you why, because I'm an ambitious person. When my son

969
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: was born, I didn't know what postpartum was. So I'm

970
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: getting up every day. Was I was on a rise

971
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,800
Speaker 1: in my career, so I'm doing really well. I would

972
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: go to bed from the studio four in the morning.

973
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: I get up at seven, and I'm just And then

974
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: you see somebody in the bed two three, and you're thinking,

975
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: she's not ambitious, She's like lazy, like get up, what

976
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: are you doing? Like you know? And so she had

977
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: a career. I funded her career. Do this, do this

978
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: go on? And I didn't understand it right. So it

979
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 1: changed the way I perceived and acknowledged her. And I

980
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,720
Speaker 1: didn't notice till I went to therapy, and my therapist

981
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: helped me through it, because what he did was he said,

982
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: stop talking about what somebody did to you. Even if

983
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: somebody did something to you or made you feel this way,

984
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: or called you names or did all these things, what

985
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 1: about you either keeps attracting this or what about your

986
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: actions caused them, whether it's right or wrong. Because somebody

987
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: could say I believe we behave how we're supposed to be.

988
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: We should behave how we want to be treated, not

989
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: how we are treated. You get what I'm saying. We

990
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: should behave how we want to be treated. Even if

991
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't treat you in a way that you want

992
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 1: to be treated, it's still your responsibility to behave how

993
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 1: you would like to be treated. But I also understand

994
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 1: that sometimes people are going to respond to how you

995
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: made them feel. It's still their response and it's still

996
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 1: their choice, and it's not not my fault that you're

997
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: responding that way. But you still have to understand that

998
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: maybe to them, something I did to them made them

999
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: see and view me this way. Okay, so let's start there.

1000
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 1: What happened was I didn't consider her in certain conversations,

1001
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: in certain places and situations in my life, in certain

1002
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: you know, scenarios. I just didn't because I didn't have

1003
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: a respect for who she was. Why. Because I thought

1004
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: she was lazy, I thought she wasn't ambitious, not realizing

1005
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:55,240
Speaker 1: this woman is depressed, she's going through postpartum. So throughout

1006
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 1: the relationship, as relationship got longer and long and longer

1007
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: anything in life, I subconstantly didn't think that she Her

1008
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 1: opinion meant matter. I thought she wasn't ambitious. I thought

1009
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 1: she was.

1010
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 3: And I would look around doing this, not just.

1011
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 1: Me, other women around me in my life, who I

1012
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 1: did business with, I would see them just having figure

1013
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: in this this hustle. So I thought she didn't have

1014
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: the hustle. Now cut to when my daughter was born

1015
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: and then life kind of got wonky for me and

1016
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: my money got crazy, and I'm still getting up and

1017
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm grinding, and what is this person doing in bed?

1018
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: Not motivated, not working, not realizing the idiot, She's fucking sad,

1019
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 1: she's going through something. She don't know what's going.

1020
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 3: On with her.

1021
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: So that in my mind was like wow, And that's

1022
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: I didn't until recently when I was talking to my therapist,

1023
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 1: we're going through that, and I started he started just

1024
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 1: kind of peeling back the layers for me, like, so

1025
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: when did this happen? Like this person couldn't have just

1026
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: been so nasty and meaning to you for me to

1027
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: begin what happened. I started really going back and thinking Timeline,

1028
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: the baby.

1029
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 4: Oh, these motherfucking yes she carried and fed and no no,

1030
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 4: and that I'm not just saying that because because I

1031
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,959
Speaker 4: definitely uh am an active dad.

1032
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, I keep my kids

1033
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 1: seven days, she keep them seven days. It is even

1034
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: down the middle when it comes to our time, but

1035
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: our children, and even though we don't necessarily care for

1036
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: each other, we definitely I've never had no problems with

1037
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 1: her when trying to keep my kids or use my kids.

1038
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: And I would never try to use my kids as

1039
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 1: a pawn or do anything. I've never even met her

1040
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: boyfriend or spoken to him. But one thing is most

1041
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,399
Speaker 1: people will be like, you should introduce me to your boyfriend. No.

1042
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,479
Speaker 1: One thing I do know she'll never let nothing happen

1043
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: to my kids. So if she don't want me to

1044
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: meet her boyfriend, if she don't want to introduce me

1045
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: to it, it don't make me feel no way. Because one

1046
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: thing I do know for a fact is if a

1047
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: train was coming and he was about to hit my baby,

1048
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: she's jumping in front of them.

1049
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 2: You trust the person, trust the person you chose to.

1050
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: Have your children. But the mistake I definitely made was

1051
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: not understanding my ignorance right was like not understanding what

1052
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: postpartum was. And I don't want to say it's my fault,

1053
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 1: but my fault, like I definitely was an educated right.

1054
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 2: Well, I mean there's not a lot of well I

1055
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 2: don't want to say there's not resources, because there are,

1056
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: but there's not a lot of push for men to

1057
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 2: tap into those resources. It's really women, like you need

1058
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 2: to know all these things. The men are just there

1059
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: to provide support. And we talk about I mean, we

1060
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:19,760
Speaker 2: talk about this in our book, and mean we always

1061
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 2: advocate for men to read our book so that you

1062
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 2: really understand like the mindset of a woman.

1063
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: When I say this, I really have to say this, though,

1064
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: women have to allow men vulnerability because vulnerability cannot be

1065
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: expected when it's convenient for you. If I'm sad and

1066
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: I'm having a moment and I'm expressing myself, then I

1067
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to see fifty memes about niggas is the

1068
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: new bitches, right right, I shouldn't have to be. But

1069
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: when it comes to certain issues, well why you tap

1070
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:58,799
Speaker 1: in and understand it and be you want me to

1071
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: be sensitive when and it has to do with you,

1072
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: But sometimes I have moments to have to do with

1073
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 1: me that caused for me to feel a certain way,

1074
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:09,399
Speaker 1: and I should be that should be respected as well.

1075
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 1: So I do believe that, yes, men are not educated

1076
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: on certain things. But I think that we would be

1077
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: more open to it if our role as men wasn't limited.

1078
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 3: To provide her No, absolutely, I think I think women

1079
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,879
Speaker 3: and men both really need a safe space to show

1080
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 3: up and be themselves. I mean, be human and.

1081
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: I say how you feel and get emotional, say that

1082
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: this upset me, this makes me sad when this happened,

1083
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 1: this is how I felt, this is this. I definitely

1084
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 1: think that if we felt more safe to express the

1085
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 1: vulnerable sides of who we are, then we could be

1086
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 1: more sensitive to trying to understand. Because right now, we

1087
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: do everything we do to appease of women and not

1088
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: every person because some guys are so incredibly mature in

1089
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: that place. But I think that sometimes we do things

1090
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: because it's like Shorty says she wanted to do it.

1091
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: Like when I talk to friends who mat like, yo,

1092
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: what you gotta take Shorty down here to see you? Like, Yo,

1093
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: let's go to the b man. I gotta go to

1094
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 1: her family ship, you know, not like oh no, this weekend,

1095
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 1: I'm with my wife and we're going to do this.

1096
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: But next week it's like, damn, bro, I gotta do this.

1097
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 1: I gotta cousin, and it's that's the honest and something.

1098
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: And again, please people be mature enough to understand that

1099
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 1: that's not every person. But I meet I know so

1100
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,479
Speaker 1: many guys who that's the energy is like I'm doing

1101
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 1: this because if I don't do it, she's gonna I'm

1102
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: have to hear her mouth exactly. So I think that

1103
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: men don't have the freedom. You don't ever hear women

1104
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: saying I gotta go to the Lakers games. Is this

1105
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 1: nigga want to go see Lebron? No, it's like you

1106
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 1: we do what a woman wants to do. And then

1107
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: every once in a while it's like we're gonna do

1108
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 1: something you want to do and we're like, yay, right,

1109
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: But it shouldn't be that. It should be like on

1110
00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 1: the trail, you know what.

1111
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 2: I will say that the time when when we were like,

1112
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 2: I just don't want to do that. You should go

1113
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 2: do that with your boys, there's no problem. But yeah,

1114
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: it's true. I'll be like, you don't ever want to

1115
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 2: do you don't do everyone everyone to do? Should I

1116
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 2: want to do?

1117
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: Like, we do literally everything you want to do. One

1118
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,720
Speaker 1: time it's like, but I think that just give men.

1119
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 1: Give men the opportunity to say this bothers me. And

1120
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: what I believe in is when when my when my

1121
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 1: kids and mom and I decided we were going to split,

1122
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 1: I suggest it every morning, let's wake up before the

1123
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 1: kids get up, and let's just take a walk and talk,

1124
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 1: not talk about getting back together, because we know that

1125
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: you know, I'm much I'm a much better person and

1126
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 1: not in a relationship with her. She's a much better

1127
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 1: person not in a relationship with me. Right, So I

1128
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: always say, let's get up in this walk and talk

1129
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: and let's express how we feel the problem was. We

1130
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 1: should have did that in the beginning. Now I'm not

1131
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: saying that that's not why it didn't work. I don't

1132
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 1: think we're meant to be together, right, But I do

1133
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: believe that the next relationship I get in, I'm going

1134
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 1: to implement all of the things that I went through.

1135
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:59,880
Speaker 1: Because we went to couple's therapy, and I remember so

1136
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 1: being so excited when the therapist said, you guys, just

1137
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 1: get up and walk in the morning, and I was like,

1138
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: I said that that was my suggestion, right, But I

1139
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: think that I look at all the things that the

1140
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 1: therapist tells you on the exit out of relationship, and

1141
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: I think, what if people implement it in the beginning.

1142
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: So in my next relationship, I'm definitely gonna say every week,

1143
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: I want to hear everything that bothers you, whether it's

1144
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 1: about me or whether it's about your day or what

1145
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: everything makes you said. All I asked you that I

1146
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: have the same luxury to be heard in that sense.

1147
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: And also, every time a man says something about how

1148
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: something makes him feel, and you did it just now, Erica,

1149
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 1: you know what you did. You said, well, guys do

1150
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 1: that too. You never have a moment where a man

1151
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 1: can express how a woman makes him feel without a

1152
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 1: woman saying, well you did this.

1153
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 2: No, I was saying that women do that.

1154
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: No, but when you're talking about comments and stuff, you said,

1155
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:57,360
Speaker 1: guys do that time. But I'm saying that that always happens.

1156
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 1: He said, they do, and they do.

1157
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 3: It's not nature to point out that, Hey, you're pointing

1158
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 3: this out about me, But I've observed that you also have.

1159
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 1: But married j Blish since I was a kid. The

1160
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 1: niggas ain't ship. We've already known. We don't need any

1161
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: help knowing that, right, So anytime that we say that

1162
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 1: this girl did this to me, the first thing, the

1163
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 1: first response across the board is but what did you do?

1164
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 1: You did this? You know, and you know anytime, even

1165
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 1: I think a therapist is supposed to do it. But

1166
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: when any time you say this happened to me, and

1167
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 1: the first thing person will say is, well, what did

1168
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 1: you do to her? How did you cause And that

1169
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 1: doesn't happen to women. Anytime a woman says he broke

1170
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 1: my heart, he made me say he did this, nobody's

1171
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 1: saying what did you do to him?

1172
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 3: Right?

1173
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: And that to me is lopsided. What I think we

1174
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 1: should be able to do is in the next relationship.

1175
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 1: I want to be able to say, let's go for

1176
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,359
Speaker 1: a walk every day, let's go to lunch every week

1177
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,439
Speaker 1: once a week, and just say what how your week

1178
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 1: and what bothered you, what made you sad? So it

1179
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 1: is your day to talk about it, and then tomorrow

1180
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 1: it will be my day, they tell you, And then

1181
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 1: all you have to do is listen and take no.

1182
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,839
Speaker 1: When I said this in the kitchen of the day,

1183
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: you responded like this, it made me feel like you

1184
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: don't hear me.

1185
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: Well, there's a level of maturity that has to happen

1186
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 2: in these conversations because when you're when you're sharing that

1187
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 2: with someone there, usually their instinct is to defend their actions,

1188
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 2: or defend themselves or explain why they chose to do that.

1189
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 3: Right.

1190
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: So the hope, I guess, the goal is that when

1191
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 2: you have these conversations, they open up to the space

1192
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 2: where you guys cannot do less blaming and I guess

1193
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 2: scaling taking more accountability, scaling the accountability.

1194
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 3: The tip for tat that take you more accountability.

1195
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: Okay, you didn't melt. I thought she. I thought it.

1196
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: Women melt when he said it. I thought they. I

1197
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 1: thought they like, like dissolve into life nothing. You know,

1198
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: I just never heard.

1199
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 2: You know that's why women don't take accountability.

1200
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh you said it too, it's not

1201
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,359
Speaker 1: I see they said accountability and nothing happened to them.

1202
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,919
Speaker 2: I wait, So you think men take more accountability than women.

1203
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: I think member forced to take accountability. It's no choice.

1204
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,839
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm a person who never ever, what do

1205
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 1: you mean? I tell you this. I'm gonna tell you this.

1206
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you that's a perfect example. I was

1207
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: a cheater one hundred miles an hour, Like if you could,

1208
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 1: if it was the wrong way. That was called cheating,

1209
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 1: and they said do the limit. I was maxing out right, right,

1210
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 1: no breaks, right. But I have never, ever, ever, in

1211
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: the history of my cheating, ever said I did this

1212
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: because you did this. I did this because you made

1213
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 1: me feel this way. I never ever made you feel

1214
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 1: like you was a pretty enough you was this now? No,

1215
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 1: my actions probably did because when you cheat, you can

1216
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: make a person feel like they aren't enough. That's a fact.

1217
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 1: But I've never ever not helped said. All I ever

1218
00:56:58,560 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 1: said was I'm wrong.

1219
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 2: And when women she we say because.

1220
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 1: I'm not, don't even say cheating just in general, but

1221
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 1: we do things.

1222
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:07,720
Speaker 2: We usually say.

1223
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 1: It's always because of this.

1224
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny that you say this, because I've

1225
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 2: had this conversation last night with someone and a man

1226
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: and he said the same thing, like, I made the

1227
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 2: choices that I wanted to make because I wanted to

1228
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 2: make them. You made choices out of You're telling me

1229
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 2: that you've made choices because it's something I did, yes,

1230
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 2: And I was like kind of, yeah, exactly, and he was.

1231
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: Like, no, that's not how life works. I'm going to

1232
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: tell you this. If a person spits in my face, right.

1233
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 2: And I think, can I just say something, This is

1234
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 2: how men and our brains are so different than men's beames,

1235
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 2: like because women we are just more emotional. We are

1236
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 2: emotional reactionary out of our emotions where men are not.

1237
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is the every person in the world.

1238
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 1: I'm glad you corrected every person emotion. But how we

1239
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 1: react fond to that emotion was the level of either

1240
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 1: maturity or spitefulness? No, or you have the ability to

1241
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: a man is not. If a man was to respond

1242
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: on how something makes him feel, we call him a

1243
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: bitch assed nigga. When Tyree gets on camera and cry,

1244
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 1: we say this nigga's a sucker. If a woman does that,

1245
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 1: we say, speak up, Queen Shadum. If a girl was

1246
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 1: to leave court and say this man is trying to

1247
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 1: take everything from me and blah blah blah blah blah.

1248
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 1: When Mary J. Blige is going through her divorce and

1249
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 1: all this stuff and they say he expects her to

1250
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 1: give him money, what right If a man was to

1251
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 1: doing that same thing, It's like, yeah, what pay that

1252
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: lady pay? She probably put up him so much from you.

1253
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 1: So I think that it's not about the account. The

1254
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: accountability is forced on us. We don't have a choice

1255
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: but to be accounted because nobody feels bad for us.

1256
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 1: If a man is broke and a woman is broke,

1257
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: the difference is the woman feels like this is not

1258
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 1: supposed to be happy into me so much so it's like,

1259
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: don't text me, I got bills? Do don't date me

1260
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: and say what's don't see me? What's up? Text if

1261
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 1: my bills is this much? What so? Or they'll tell him.

1262
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,760
Speaker 1: I had a good, close, close friend of mine. It

1263
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: almost made me cry because this guy is not dating anybody. Right.

1264
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: This is one of my closest friends and he doesn't date.

1265
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: You got a kid, you got a daughter, and his

1266
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 1: kid's mom. I don't know what the situation is, but

1267
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: he doesn't date. And I said why not? I'm not

1268
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: where I want to be financially. And most people will

1269
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 1: say amen to that, but I said, bro love is

1270
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: something that shouldn't make you feel that way. You deserve to.

1271
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: What if the person that's meant for you is going

1272
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 1: to trigger something or give you an idea or do

1273
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: something or help you in a way that's gonna excel you,

1274
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 1: accelerate your life to where it needs to be. You're

1275
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: rejecting the idea of finding love because society has made

1276
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 1: you feel especially black, society has made you feel like

1277
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 1: you don't deserve my girlfriend if you don't have money

1278
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 1: right now, that is insane to me. Now do you

1279
00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: deserve to be Does it make sense for you to

1280
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 1: take a bunch of trips and do all this and

1281
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 1: go to no, But you should be able to find

1282
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 1: somebody you care about. When a situation happens to a man,

1283
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 1: it is like, how do I figure this out? When

1284
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 1: a situation happens to a woman, not all women, by

1285
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 1: the way, So everybody's in the comments, it's gonna say

1286
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 1: I'm not like that. Not all people. It's like, this

1287
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: is not supposed to be happening to me. And that

1288
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 1: is the difference. And as men, we don't have the

1289
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 1: luxury to not take accountability for things. We don't have

1290
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: that luxury, and if we do, we are called every

1291
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: name in the book. Women stand up for women, stand

1292
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: up for gay rights and gay men and gay thing,

1293
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: gay thing all the time. Right, But as soon as

1294
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 1: a man does something he might be gay. I think

1295
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 1: he is right as soon as he's sensitive. But that's

1296
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 1: your best friend, but you will use that as to

1297
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 1: insult another a man because he's acting in a way

1298
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 1: that's expressing how something made him feel.

1299
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 3: I think that's some women. I don't think that's.

1300
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 2: All he said that I did see.

1301
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell you I have to say this.

1302
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 1: I went through a situation in my relationship right where

1303
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: I was. My feelings were hurt. I was devastating. It

1304
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: was just like crushed, and I went through this was

1305
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 1: in twenty eighteen to that I made it. First of all,

1306
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: I was so sad that I wasn't heard. I've never ever, ever,

1307
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:25,919
Speaker 1: ever considered suicide until I felt not heard I loved.

1308
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: I contemplated killing myself, not because of financial woes, not

1309
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 1: because I was getting cheated on. Was because I was

1310
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 1: I felt like I didn't I wasn't heard by your partner,

1311
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, and by by everybody. I don't want

1312
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 1: to put that pressure on my kid's mom, because I'm

1313
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: not the type of person that's going to sit around

1314
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: and say, you know, but I definitely think in all

1315
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 1: levels of my life, I was helping the artists, I

1316
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 1: was working with management, my relationship. Every point in my life,

1317
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: I was feeling like people were just not hearing me

1318
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 1: or my feelings didn't matter right. I think that an

1319
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 1: openness to share how something makes you feel right gives

1320
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 1: you a freedom that people don't even understand. What I

1321
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: also believe is that the luxury of being able to

1322
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: provide or being safe enough to say that this thing

1323
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: hurts me, this thing affects me, this thing makes me sad,

1324
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 1: and somebody can hear you out and give you a

1325
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 1: hug and say, I don't understand how to help you

1326
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 1: through this, but I can just be here. I can

1327
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 1: just be but I'm not gonna make you feel uncomfortable

1328
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: with that. If the first thing we do in our

1329
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 1: society is criticized any man who feels something, then every man,

1330
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: even if he's not going through it at that time, subcontinents,

1331
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 1: he gonna look at that and realize when it's his

1332
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 1: turn when he goes through something. Or I know, I

1333
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 1: can't even say that, I can't. I don't have that

1334
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 1: luxury because as soon as I do it, even men

1335
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 1: do it to men. You a man, broh, why are

1336
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 1: you doing this? So when I went through this situation,

1337
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to that when I went through

1338
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: this situation. I got on social media and I didn't

1339
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 1: realize at the time everything I was saying was subliminals.

1340
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,480
Speaker 1: This was around twenty eighteen. I was on some real

1341
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: suckers shit like I ain't gonna lie, I have to

1342
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 1: be honest. I was on some like everything was a

1343
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 1: sub to Shorty, like while I'm in the same house

1344
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 1: as like like you know what I mean. I was

1345
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 1: like every everything, memes, everything, and and you know, uh,

1346
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 1: every meme every I was just like I made a

1347
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 1: whole album called even Kings died about it because I

1348
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: was just that hurt. I just didn't feel hurt. I

1349
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: felt like and I was just subthing something something something.

1350
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 1: And obviously now I have a rule. I don't I

1351
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 1: don't anything I'm going through nobody would ever know. I

1352
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: don't post anything that has to do relationships or hurt

1353
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: or this or somebody. Even if it's a funny meme

1354
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 1: that I think it's hilarious, I will not repost it.

1355
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: I don't because I don't ever want to be that

1356
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 1: person again because it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing because

1357
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 1: somebody came up to me around the time this was

1358
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 1: all happening, and a good friend of mine. He was like,

1359
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 1: you see, I'll be on your gee every day you

1360
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: got suddenly say about you good like. So I was like,

1361
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: oh shit, I'm wearing this shit. You know, I went

1362
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 1: through it. I had a Kanye More why. I was

1363
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 1: just every day like literally for like three or four months.

1364
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 1: It would just NonStop everything right, And I think that one,

1365
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's becoming of my character. So

1366
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 1: that's why I don't do it. But I also believe

1367
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,440
Speaker 1: that when women do it, it's an amen section in

1368
01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:16,479
Speaker 1: their comments right, and they have that freedom. Men don't

1369
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 1: have the luxury to ever even feel that way, you

1370
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I was called every name in

1371
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: the book by her friends and crew like oh he's

1372
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,280
Speaker 1: a look at he acting like this. But when it's

1373
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:28,880
Speaker 1: turned around, I think men should just have the opportunity

1374
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,320
Speaker 1: to express how they feel, not on Instagram. I think

1375
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 1: that's not that wasn't becoming. And I'm not proud of

1376
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 1: that moment in my life when I was behaving that way.

1377
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: But I do believe that I should have a safe

1378
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 1: space to express that I'm hurt. I don't think it's

1379
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,680
Speaker 1: my place to tell my business or talk about but

1380
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 1: if that's.

1381
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 2: What you wanted to do, That's what you wanted to do.

1382
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that I just don't think it's

1383
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 1: classy across.

1384
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 2: I think that men have suppressed their emotions so much

1385
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 2: that when it does come out, it comes out a

1386
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:57,840
Speaker 2: bit bitchy, like a messy yeah, And so a lot

1387
01:04:57,920 --> 01:04:59,280
Speaker 2: of times people don't know what to do with it

1388
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 2: because this person has suppressed for so long, and then

1389
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:05,600
Speaker 2: it's just like and then they're like whoa. But it's

1390
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:08,760
Speaker 2: like the more that you're able to express and the

1391
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 2: more you're able to be vulnerable, the mess starts to

1392
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 2: clean itself up and you're able to really understand, like, hey,

1393
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,480
Speaker 2: this is how I'm feeling, and this is what I

1394
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,880
Speaker 2: need from you. But a lot of times men can't

1395
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 2: do that or they don't feel like they have a

1396
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 2: space a sect.

1397
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 1: Think me doing that was good in the sense that

1398
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 1: I'm able to learn and grow fast exactly.

1399
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 2: You had to do that in order to reflect back

1400
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 2: and say, yo's like I never want to do it again,

1401
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 2: but like, but I needed to get it.

1402
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 3: Out, and I'm glad that I did. But maybe a

1403
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 3: different outlet. Maybe what I.

1404
01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 1: Really wanted was to talk to to the person I

1405
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:38,440
Speaker 1: was dealing with, and I want to, but but you couldn't.

1406
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 1: So instead I do just because one thing I don't

1407
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 1: do is I don't scream at women. I don't call

1408
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,120
Speaker 1: them names, and obviously I never hit a woman. So

1409
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:48,960
Speaker 1: if a woman is screaming at me, I don't know

1410
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,320
Speaker 1: how to. She's gonna win that argument every time. Sometimes

1411
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:55,200
Speaker 1: she'll be the loudest. I'm not going to be louder

1412
01:05:55,240 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 1: in you. It's just not going to.

1413
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 2: She gets more mad and she starts yelling more because

1414
01:05:58,680 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 2: what the fuck.

1415
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. So I think

1416
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 1: that that kind of handicaps a person like myself because

1417
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 1: I don't expect I know guys who looks to be

1418
01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 1: fun relationships because they fight like crazy and they get

1419
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:11,800
Speaker 1: they both get to get everything out. I'm not trying

1420
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 1: to say it's good, it's healthy. It's very toxic, but

1421
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 1: at least they both get to express themselves because he'll say,

1422
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. I don't do that, So I

1423
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:22,720
Speaker 1: can't exist in that way. My daughter is eight years old.

1424
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 1: My daughter will never ever be able to tell a

1425
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 1: story of my dad was cursing at my mom. I

1426
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 1: saw my dad grab my mom. My dad called my

1427
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 1: mom this name. Now never, They've never my children have

1428
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:36,320
Speaker 1: never seen me behave that way, and they would never

1429
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 1: see me speak about their mother behind the scenes in

1430
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,240
Speaker 1: that way. I've never Nobody around me is allowed to

1431
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 1: talk about my kid's mom in front of my children.

1432
01:06:46,040 --> 01:06:47,480
Speaker 1: I don't care what they feel. I don't care what

1433
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 1: they do, what she's done or made them feel. You're

1434
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 1: never gonna speak bad about my kid's mom in front

1435
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 1: of my children. I would never speak bad about her

1436
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 1: in front of my children. So when I think about character,

1437
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,160
Speaker 1: I think about the fact that what if my daughter

1438
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,120
Speaker 1: was in this room right now, is shaw me behave

1439
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 1: in this way? That's that's how I judge how I'm

1440
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 1: going to respond to arguments or you know, anything to

1441
01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:12,920
Speaker 1: this day, I don't. I don't scream and yell and

1442
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: call names and doing that.

1443
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 2: How do you think, I'm sorry? I was gonna say,

1444
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:17,720
Speaker 2: how do you think fatherhood has changed you?

1445
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:17,920
Speaker 1: Like?

1446
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:18,040
Speaker 2: What?

1447
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,360
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was going to say that, Like, you know,

1448
01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 3: you've evolved a lot in your relationship, You've you know, reflected,

1449
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:27,919
Speaker 3: you've been a divorce, You've had two kids, Like, how

1450
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 3: has you keep you saying like you said you're You're

1451
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 3: going to say you're forty a least.

1452
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: Seven times to day.

1453
01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 2: He's forty, Guys, I get it.

1454
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:36,520
Speaker 3: I'm trying thirty five next next month, and I think

1455
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 3: I've said it like five times at least, like I'm

1456
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:42,160
Speaker 3: thirty five. I'm a girl. Ask but how do you

1457
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 3: think that's? Like your evolution has affected your fatherhood and

1458
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:47,080
Speaker 3: like what have you what have you gained in knowledge

1459
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,360
Speaker 3: and lessons in fatherhood that's made you like a better

1460
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 3: parent than you were maybe ten years ago.

1461
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, who gets my time is very important to me,

1462
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:58,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like my daughter sleeps in

1463
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 1: bed with me, so I don't feel comfortable just having

1464
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:05,040
Speaker 1: random strangers in my bed because my daughter is going

1465
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:07,400
Speaker 1: to be here. You can change sheets, but that's just

1466
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 1: still not the same. It's the energy, So I don't

1467
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,040
Speaker 1: When I go home, I work very hard. My children

1468
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 1: always know me to be a person to work extremely hard,

1469
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,920
Speaker 1: and they've been able to see that example. But when

1470
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 1: I'm not working, my piece is to go home and

1471
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 1: be alone. I don't have to have anybody over just

1472
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 1: because I'm alone, because I'm not lonely. I enjoy peace,

1473
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:30,760
Speaker 1: I enjoy my reading my book. I enjoy going for

1474
01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:34,600
Speaker 1: a swim my pool and watching succession and you know,

1475
01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:37,320
Speaker 1: and just catching them, you know, things like that. I

1476
01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:42,720
Speaker 1: don't need random company to feel like full. Yeah, so

1477
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:43,840
Speaker 1: I think that's changed me.

1478
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:45,840
Speaker 2: And also you think a lot of that too, because

1479
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 2: you've done it all. I mean, you said you're one

1480
01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 2: hundred percent on the cheating runway, Like do you think

1481
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:52,120
Speaker 2: do you think as a man? As a man, especially

1482
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 2: in your industry, there's access to women, there's so much access, right, Like,

1483
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 2: is there a limit in which you're like, all right,

1484
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,600
Speaker 2: I've had enough, this is done. And maybe fatherhood or

1485
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 2: marriage maybe it was like kind of the chapter into which.

1486
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not so excited when I first I've been

1487
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:07,720
Speaker 1: single for like three and three and a half years,

1488
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,600
Speaker 1: three some years. In the first six seven months of

1489
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,320
Speaker 1: single life, you're dating like crazy, You're going out, you're

1490
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 1: having a good time. Then I started realizing, like everybody

1491
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:20,320
Speaker 1: I meet, I'm gonna asking myself with how would she

1492
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:22,559
Speaker 1: be around my daughter? My daughter hasn't met any by

1493
01:09:22,600 --> 01:09:27,400
Speaker 1: the person I've met they, so I always ask that question.

1494
01:09:27,479 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 1: I think that's how fatherhood has really affected me. I

1495
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:33,679
Speaker 1: always think to myself like, would would you be okay

1496
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:37,000
Speaker 1: around my daughter? What I feel comfortable having you picked

1497
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: my baby girl from school and she spending the day

1498
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:41,479
Speaker 1: with you or with you?

1499
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:41,880
Speaker 3: Know how?

1500
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: What will my kids think about you? You know? That

1501
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,720
Speaker 1: is first and foremost on my mind when it comes

1502
01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:51,559
Speaker 1: to everything I do, is how will it affect my children?

1503
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,880
Speaker 1: Anytime anything bad happens, any hardship, I'm always thinking like,

1504
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,880
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen to my babies? You know what I mean?

1505
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 1: How is this gonna affect my children? You know? So

1506
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,680
Speaker 1: it definitely makes like you don't know what love is

1507
01:10:04,760 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 1: in any way until you have a child and people think, well,

1508
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:09,960
Speaker 1: they're like, well you love your parent. Yeah, I love

1509
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,840
Speaker 1: this shit out of my parents, But I never knew

1510
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,720
Speaker 1: that I could love anything. I don't love my parents

1511
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:15,600
Speaker 1: as much as they love me.

1512
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 3: I don't think it we can.

1513
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:20,599
Speaker 1: It's impossible. It's no way for my child to love

1514
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:23,679
Speaker 1: me in the way that I love them. It's not possible.

1515
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 1: So that makes you consider them in everything you do.

1516
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 1: And any person who doesn't I think it's some kind

1517
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:34,559
Speaker 1: of disconnect mentally, because whenever I see guys who aren't

1518
01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 1: active in their kids life, well, when I see women

1519
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 1: who just raise kids and don't and interact with them.

1520
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:44,439
Speaker 1: It's something off, something happened, something is twisted in you.

1521
01:10:44,560 --> 01:10:47,559
Speaker 1: I'm watching this documentary now on Armie Hammer his whole

1522
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 1: crazy controversy, and you look at the history of his family,

1523
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,680
Speaker 1: his grandfather, his father, and how it all kind of

1524
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 1: trickled down.

1525
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:55,800
Speaker 2: I can wait, Green Hammer did he's the one who's

1526
01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:57,760
Speaker 2: going to move to an island and was working at

1527
01:10:58,479 --> 01:11:00,559
Speaker 2: was he like work? He's in famous actor?

1528
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:03,479
Speaker 1: Right? And then me by your name star who was

1529
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:07,720
Speaker 1: like into bondage and anybody choking women and told him

1530
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,440
Speaker 1: he was a cannibal and all the craziness.

1531
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:13,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a he's a very he he like fell

1532
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 2: off and then he was like working at like like

1533
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 2: a bed and breakfast.

1534
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:17,320
Speaker 3: No, no, he was a cannibal.

1535
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:21,640
Speaker 1: His family is fucking loaded. Oh really, armand Hammer, that

1536
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:22,599
Speaker 1: realed the arm Hammer.

1537
01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:24,400
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of Armie Hammer.

1538
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:26,400
Speaker 1: That is his name, Armie Hammer. That's his name is

1539
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:29,960
Speaker 1: armand Hen Hammer, and they call him Army Hammer. And

1540
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:30,719
Speaker 1: he was an actor.

1541
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:33,759
Speaker 2: He is He's of the armin Hammer family.

1542
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 3: What the fuck? Yeah?

1543
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:36,799
Speaker 2: How did I not put that together?

1544
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:37,360
Speaker 3: Oh?

1545
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm watching a documentary on him right now. But

1546
01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:43,680
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is to say, I look at how

1547
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:48,320
Speaker 1: his upbringing affected him. It fucked him like he's fucking twisted,

1548
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,880
Speaker 1: and it's when you look. So they went back and

1549
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:54,520
Speaker 1: read a book that his aunt wrote about their grandfather,

1550
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:57,280
Speaker 1: and it was like, oh my god, was it the

1551
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 1: same weird ship, same with this crazy control, just sick,

1552
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:05,000
Speaker 1: twisted manipulation and all these things. So you saw all

1553
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:06,920
Speaker 1: of the men kind of tricker down. I think about

1554
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:08,840
Speaker 1: things like that when it comes to my daughter. I

1555
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:11,160
Speaker 1: tell my daughter she's beautiful a thousand times a day.

1556
01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:13,280
Speaker 1: I tell my son I love him a million times

1557
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:16,040
Speaker 1: a day. I beg my son every day. Please, bro,

1558
01:12:16,439 --> 01:12:17,200
Speaker 1: don't do drugs.

1559
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:19,880
Speaker 3: Don't do this, don't beg him every day.

1560
01:12:20,280 --> 01:12:22,479
Speaker 1: You know my friends are doing this. Just don't do

1561
01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:24,880
Speaker 1: it like please, I just want you to be because

1562
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:26,840
Speaker 1: I care so much about them. Does that mean that

1563
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:29,720
Speaker 1: he's not gonna make a decision. What it does is

1564
01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:32,599
Speaker 1: I try my best to show him that I see

1565
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 1: this shit every day, Bro, This shit is real, and

1566
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:37,000
Speaker 1: I don't want you to My love for my children

1567
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,720
Speaker 1: it affects my behavior so that I can make sure

1568
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,920
Speaker 1: that in front of them, even certain things like I

1569
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:46,320
Speaker 1: know that my daughter watches Google's my name, she searches

1570
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:49,760
Speaker 1: my name, So I'm careful about things I say and

1571
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:52,640
Speaker 1: things that, you know, things I share, because I'm like,

1572
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:56,320
Speaker 1: I don't want baby girl to ever get online and

1573
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:58,000
Speaker 1: see some shit from my dad and be like, what

1574
01:12:58,120 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 1: the hell? You know what I mean? Even me saying

1575
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 1: and shit right now, She's gonna be daddy, you know.

1576
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:06,120
Speaker 1: But I look at those things. So when you ask

1577
01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:07,680
Speaker 1: that question to kind of can sing you down a

1578
01:13:07,760 --> 01:13:10,200
Speaker 1: rabbit hole of thoughts of like, wow, it's so many

1579
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:11,280
Speaker 1: things to change about me.

1580
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,360
Speaker 2: Do you parent you're a boy differently than your parent?

1581
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:17,880
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes I do. And I'm like, I'm very

1582
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:20,960
Speaker 1: much hands on with the time I spend with my daughter,

1583
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:23,960
Speaker 1: and I'm very intentional about telling my son how much

1584
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,519
Speaker 1: he has to protect her and how it's important for

1585
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:28,599
Speaker 1: him to always protect her. But I say the same

1586
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:31,320
Speaker 1: thing about his mom, like, like, again, me and my

1587
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,679
Speaker 1: kids mom, we don't really care for each other as people,

1588
01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:39,720
Speaker 1: but we definitely respect each other as parents. And whenever

1589
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:43,120
Speaker 1: she calls me and says, Karens is doing this, I

1590
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:46,519
Speaker 1: take it personal. Don't ever disrespect your mother. I don't

1591
01:13:46,560 --> 01:13:49,479
Speaker 1: care what you feel. You don't ever disrespect me. You

1592
01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:52,679
Speaker 1: called me and scream at me, tell me whatever you're feeling.

1593
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:55,599
Speaker 1: And I think that I don't. With my daughter, it's

1594
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:58,280
Speaker 1: more like I'm over, I'm like this. But my son

1595
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:00,639
Speaker 1: is like he. I understand he he needs a certain

1596
01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 1: level of freedom, he needs a certain level of space,

1597
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:07,080
Speaker 1: he needs a certain level to learn, certain opportunities to

1598
01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:10,200
Speaker 1: learn and understand himself in certain ways. Baby girls like

1599
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:12,880
Speaker 1: I need, I need. She's eight, and I'm very like

1600
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:15,320
Speaker 1: on her, like the things that he was able to do,

1601
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:17,519
Speaker 1: Like she begged me for a phone, I got an iPad.

1602
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,439
Speaker 1: She can do things. But I'm like over her shoulder,

1603
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:21,720
Speaker 1: like what are you watching? What are you looking at?

1604
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:24,280
Speaker 1: What do you Because I understand how impressionable you know,

1605
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 1: a young woman can be in today's society. I want her.

1606
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,040
Speaker 1: I want her to always know. And I always tell

1607
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:31,439
Speaker 1: my kids, my son. I remember being in Africa and

1608
01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:34,560
Speaker 1: my son called me to for uber eats and I'm like,

1609
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:37,400
Speaker 1: Ober eats from Africa. I never ever say my son

1610
01:14:37,479 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 1: called me. I was in La last week and my

1611
01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,320
Speaker 1: son called me like, can you give me a Uber

1612
01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:43,200
Speaker 1: from my friend's house. I don't say why your mother

1613
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:46,439
Speaker 1: can't take I'm always yeah, because I want him to

1614
01:14:46,520 --> 01:14:48,639
Speaker 1: understand it. Anyway he is in life, in a good

1615
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,400
Speaker 1: situation or a bad situation, called me. If I told

1616
01:14:51,439 --> 01:14:53,720
Speaker 1: you not to do something, you did it, call me.

1617
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:55,840
Speaker 1: I don't care. We'll talk about it later. And I

1618
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:57,960
Speaker 1: wouldn't even reprimand them in that moment.

1619
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,400
Speaker 2: Give it a few days and say, bro, you want

1620
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:01,600
Speaker 2: to leave that line of communication.

1621
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:04,120
Speaker 1: I want to feel safe, So when it comes to that,

1622
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:07,640
Speaker 1: that's what the difference. But with my daughter, I'm more like, now,

1623
01:15:07,680 --> 01:15:09,760
Speaker 1: I'm going like where you're at. Like my son, I

1624
01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,559
Speaker 1: dropped off to a birthday party when he was eight

1625
01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:14,479
Speaker 1: or nine. You know, my daughter's eight. I'm never dropping off.

1626
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 1: I'm there because I also understand. I understand little sick moments,

1627
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:25,439
Speaker 1: and you know, perverts can strike in an instant, like

1628
01:15:25,560 --> 01:15:28,040
Speaker 1: a pervert can grab your kid and do something to

1629
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:31,880
Speaker 1: them for two seconds, and he can. But that's the

1630
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:33,519
Speaker 1: problem's And I'm not trying to say I'm right for this,

1631
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,400
Speaker 1: but I do understand that the freedoms that I give

1632
01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:37,320
Speaker 1: my son is different than my daughter because I know

1633
01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:41,400
Speaker 1: how that can affect an eight year old girl. One instance, well,

1634
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:43,280
Speaker 1: somebody not spent a bunch of time with it, but

1635
01:15:43,439 --> 01:15:45,360
Speaker 1: just can be in a corner and do something like

1636
01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:47,280
Speaker 1: that and it can fuck her up for the rest

1637
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:49,880
Speaker 1: of her life. I'm very you know, intentional. But that's

1638
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:53,640
Speaker 1: why I'm so, so so blessed that I trust my

1639
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:58,360
Speaker 1: kids mom. I don't have no I don't care what

1640
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:01,160
Speaker 1: where they at, what they're doing. I'm not into what

1641
01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:03,680
Speaker 1: niggas was around. I don't care who was over there.

1642
01:16:03,720 --> 01:16:05,800
Speaker 1: I know for a fact she's not letting nothing happen

1643
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:09,320
Speaker 1: to them kids. That's the blessed, Like, that's the most incredible.

1644
01:16:09,439 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 1: I couldn't ask anything more than that. We can hate

1645
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:12,960
Speaker 1: each other for the rest of our like I do.

1646
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,679
Speaker 1: I am blessed to know that my children are safe

1647
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:16,799
Speaker 1: and they're not in my presence.

1648
01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:20,120
Speaker 3: Well people A yeah, that's the thing.

1649
01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:20,320
Speaker 1: You know.

1650
01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:23,479
Speaker 3: People have kids with people and then turn the other

1651
01:16:23,840 --> 01:16:25,680
Speaker 3: like turn crazy. But it's like, at the end of

1652
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:27,760
Speaker 3: the day, if you lay down and decide to have

1653
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:30,799
Speaker 3: a kid with somebody, let's hope at the very least minimally,

1654
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,600
Speaker 3: you trust them to care for your kids. Yeah, you know,

1655
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:35,920
Speaker 3: and it sucks sometimes like you have kids young and

1656
01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:37,559
Speaker 3: you didn't really think the shit through and you're like, damn,

1657
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:40,320
Speaker 3: you're kind of more way dumber than I thought, you know, like,

1658
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:42,800
Speaker 3: can I trust your dumb ass? But like, you know,

1659
01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:45,599
Speaker 3: like the like I always say, I urge people at

1660
01:16:45,640 --> 01:16:48,519
Speaker 3: the very least, like at least have a baby the

1661
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:50,720
Speaker 3: motherfucker you can trust, because I know, I see like

1662
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:52,760
Speaker 3: a lot of men sometimes talking shit about their baby

1663
01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:54,920
Speaker 3: mamas and da da da, And I'm like, Nigga, that

1664
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:57,479
Speaker 3: this reflects poorly on you because you're talking about a

1665
01:16:57,520 --> 01:17:00,680
Speaker 3: bitch that you willingly had a baby with. So if

1666
01:17:00,720 --> 01:17:03,400
Speaker 3: you think she's this, that, and that, that's to me

1667
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:05,640
Speaker 3: a reflection of you because this is the agreement you

1668
01:17:05,720 --> 01:17:07,439
Speaker 3: made with this person for the rest of your life.

1669
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,439
Speaker 1: Yeah. But again I have to go back to the

1670
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:15,360
Speaker 1: fact that women do it all the time, you know

1671
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:20,000
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, so I think that it's in

1672
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:22,960
Speaker 1: it's a phase that we all go through. Right when

1673
01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:27,519
Speaker 1: you first, when you're so newly upset, then anybody who listen,

1674
01:17:27,760 --> 01:17:30,479
Speaker 1: you're like, yo, this is what I'm going I hate

1675
01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:34,200
Speaker 1: this shit, right, So I think that you have that

1676
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:38,000
Speaker 1: you still can express that disdain for whatever the actions were.

1677
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:40,840
Speaker 1: But you make an incredible point, like you should be

1678
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:44,320
Speaker 1: able to say. And that's how I judge anybody I date. Now.

1679
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:46,200
Speaker 1: I always think to myself, if I had a kid

1680
01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:49,200
Speaker 1: with this person, how would that be? What I feel like?

1681
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:51,080
Speaker 1: If I if it wasn't to work out, what I

1682
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:53,840
Speaker 1: still feel like? I could trust them around my children,

1683
01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:57,080
Speaker 1: Like I don't leave my kids alone with strangers. My

1684
01:17:57,200 --> 01:17:59,400
Speaker 1: kids have had the same babysitter since they were kids

1685
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:01,320
Speaker 1: with my kid is with my kids right now, they're

1686
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:04,840
Speaker 1: with my mom, and if they my mom and my

1687
01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:08,680
Speaker 1: sisters have no my rules. Don't drop my son off

1688
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:11,479
Speaker 1: or my daughter off to my son. He can't he's thirteen.

1689
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:13,960
Speaker 1: But don't drop my daughter off to such and such house.

1690
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:16,240
Speaker 1: I don't know who her father is. I don't know

1691
01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:18,760
Speaker 1: who his friend is, and I don't know his Don't

1692
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:21,439
Speaker 1: take them over nobody's house unless you're right there with her,

1693
01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:23,840
Speaker 1: because I don't. It's not about oh, I know such

1694
01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:25,479
Speaker 1: and such. Yeah, but you don't know his nephew. You

1695
01:18:25,520 --> 01:18:27,880
Speaker 1: don't know the cousin, you don't know the aunt, you

1696
01:18:27,880 --> 01:18:31,200
Speaker 1: don't know any of these people. So yeah, I got

1697
01:18:31,320 --> 01:18:33,280
Speaker 1: a trust that I'm in a relationship with somebody who

1698
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:36,439
Speaker 1: understands that and understands like, you can't just be like,

1699
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:40,040
Speaker 1: Oh she's down the street, that her friend. What who's

1700
01:18:40,080 --> 01:18:44,080
Speaker 1: over there? Oh she has a brother. I have a

1701
01:18:45,280 --> 01:18:47,920
Speaker 1: my babysit of Erica. She's incredible human baby since my

1702
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:53,000
Speaker 1: daughter was born, and she her her niece comes over

1703
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,000
Speaker 1: sometimes with her when she baby says. Her niece says

1704
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,160
Speaker 1: to me, I was leaving the house because she was

1705
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:01,679
Speaker 1: coming in the babysit and she says, oh, I can't

1706
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:04,479
Speaker 1: go to my mom says, I can't go in Charris's room.

1707
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:07,720
Speaker 1: That's my son. I can't go in Charris's room. I'm like,

1708
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:10,880
Speaker 1: you're fucking right, you know what I mean, somebody was

1709
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:13,840
Speaker 1: there to tell her that even though my son would

1710
01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:16,160
Speaker 1: never do nothing like that. They don't know my son.

1711
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:20,720
Speaker 1: That's the rules. My mom said, I can't be over

1712
01:19:20,800 --> 01:19:23,479
Speaker 1: here if it's just us, because I can't go in

1713
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:28,240
Speaker 1: Charris's room. You know, kids just to offer information, and

1714
01:19:28,360 --> 01:19:30,080
Speaker 1: I think that's cool. But if you don't trust that,

1715
01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:32,000
Speaker 1: you're right. You make an incredible point. You don't trust

1716
01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:35,280
Speaker 1: somebody to raise your children, or trust their character, trust

1717
01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:37,760
Speaker 1: who they are because anger is one thing. Again, I

1718
01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:40,759
Speaker 1: may not agree with how you responding anger, but your character.

1719
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:46,760
Speaker 3: Is going to be like the siren. Also, I think

1720
01:19:46,880 --> 01:19:49,360
Speaker 3: the tool is that we have to give our kids

1721
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:54,919
Speaker 3: the ability to rely on their intuition and have agency

1722
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:58,559
Speaker 3: over their body and use their voice boy or girl,

1723
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:02,840
Speaker 3: because people are fucking weird people You thought you knew, people,

1724
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:07,280
Speaker 3: you think you know family teachers, Like the truth of

1725
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:09,200
Speaker 3: the matter is like we're building kids to go out

1726
01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:12,320
Speaker 3: into a scary fucking world. And the real tool, the

1727
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:14,639
Speaker 3: real valuable tool we're gonna give them. Obviously we're gonna

1728
01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:16,960
Speaker 3: protect them, but like we always have to give them

1729
01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:21,479
Speaker 3: the wherewithal to make decisions and be like if shit

1730
01:20:21,560 --> 01:20:24,000
Speaker 3: doesn't feel good, get the fuck up out of there

1731
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:28,760
Speaker 3: and and call me and tell me. And ain't ain't shit.

1732
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:30,120
Speaker 3: You can't tell me. And I don't give a fuck

1733
01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:31,519
Speaker 3: how old you are. I don't care if your boy

1734
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,680
Speaker 3: or girl. I don't give a fuck who it is. Like,

1735
01:20:33,880 --> 01:20:35,960
Speaker 3: have the ability to be like I tell my kid,

1736
01:20:36,040 --> 01:20:40,439
Speaker 3: like you can say no, motherfucker whatever you need to say.

1737
01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:43,120
Speaker 3: Let motherfucking o you ain't fucking around eight or other,

1738
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:46,439
Speaker 3: Like let a motherfucking know, like you're gonna know, Like

1739
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:48,680
Speaker 3: my kid is not probably that little that little one

1740
01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:51,320
Speaker 3: right there, she gonna tell yes, keep it moving.

1741
01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:57,040
Speaker 1: You're predators, little eight year old.

1742
01:20:57,040 --> 01:21:00,800
Speaker 3: I'm not fucking with her. So I like the world

1743
01:21:00,920 --> 01:21:02,720
Speaker 3: is scary, and like, are the biggest gift we can

1744
01:21:02,760 --> 01:21:04,639
Speaker 3: give our kid is a voice.

1745
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,080
Speaker 1: Even when I used to bathe my daughter, I used

1746
01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:10,240
Speaker 1: to say, Daddy, can't touch your private, you gotta touch you,

1747
01:21:10,280 --> 01:21:12,840
Speaker 1: gotta watch your private. So then when when as she

1748
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:15,080
Speaker 1: got older, I would say, so if daddy can't touch

1749
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:18,560
Speaker 1: your private, and who else can touch you? Nobody? Just me.

1750
01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:21,160
Speaker 1: I go through that all the time. Sometimes randomly, I'll

1751
01:21:21,160 --> 01:21:23,840
Speaker 1: just say, hey, believe in She's like, I'm like, daddy,

1752
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:26,280
Speaker 1: it makes she was like what daddy, I say? Who

1753
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:28,360
Speaker 1: can touch your private? Nobody?

1754
01:21:28,560 --> 01:21:31,200
Speaker 2: My god, I'm so happy that you do that. It's important.

1755
01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:33,040
Speaker 2: It's important to not And we talked about this a

1756
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:35,280
Speaker 2: lot on our show. It's like you can't just say

1757
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:37,519
Speaker 2: it one time and just think you've covered the ground,

1758
01:21:37,840 --> 01:21:39,960
Speaker 2: Like you're like, okay, well she knows now. It's like, no,

1759
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:43,320
Speaker 2: you need to normalize it almost And if they're uncomfortable, oh.

1760
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,880
Speaker 3: Well, I like, how was school today?

1761
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh?

1762
01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:47,000
Speaker 3: You went to your grandma's house. I'm like, anybody touch

1763
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:50,200
Speaker 3: your vagina lately? She's like, Mom, I'm like, just you.

1764
01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:51,280
Speaker 1: Know, exciting exactly.

1765
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:53,640
Speaker 3: It's like, why are you being weird? I'm like, I'm not, Hi.

1766
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:56,200
Speaker 3: I just got to ask the questions. I'm gonna ask

1767
01:21:56,280 --> 01:21:58,920
Speaker 3: you every other week. I don't care how nor did

1768
01:21:58,960 --> 01:22:00,519
Speaker 3: you write. It's got to cook, you know. Keep up,

1769
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:03,479
Speaker 3: You're doing fine. Everything's good, school's good. They won't touch you, vagina,

1770
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:06,840
Speaker 3: very well, good, good. Well.

1771
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:09,080
Speaker 2: Before we get out of here, we had you pull

1772
01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:11,320
Speaker 2: a card, and you pulled the chariot.

1773
01:22:12,600 --> 01:22:12,880
Speaker 3: Card.

1774
01:22:14,080 --> 01:22:21,320
Speaker 2: And the chariot represents control, willpower, success, action, and determination.

1775
01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:26,160
Speaker 2: The chariot is a card of willpower, determination, and strength.

1776
01:22:26,439 --> 01:22:29,000
Speaker 2: You have discovered how to make decisions in alignment with

1777
01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:32,080
Speaker 2: your values with the Lover's card, and now you are

1778
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:34,960
Speaker 2: taking action on those decisions. When the chariot appears in

1779
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:37,360
Speaker 2: a tarot reading, take it as a sign of encouragement.

1780
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:40,360
Speaker 2: You have set your objectives and are now channeling your

1781
01:22:40,400 --> 01:22:43,120
Speaker 2: inner power with a fierce dedication to bring them to fruition.

1782
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:47,320
Speaker 2: When you apply discipline, commitment, and willpower to achieve your goals,

1783
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:50,760
Speaker 2: you will succeed. If you are curious about whether you

1784
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:52,960
Speaker 2: have what it takes to achieve your aim or complete

1785
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:55,559
Speaker 2: an important project. The chariot is a sign you will

1786
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:57,880
Speaker 2: be successful so long as you keep your focus and

1787
01:22:57,960 --> 01:23:00,840
Speaker 2: remain confident in your abilities. You need to use your

1788
01:23:00,880 --> 01:23:09,640
Speaker 2: willpower and self discipline to consecrate, to concentrate, consecrate too,

1789
01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:13,080
Speaker 2: to concentrate on the task at hand. You can't cut corners.

1790
01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:17,160
Speaker 2: You can't cut corners or take the easy route, or

1791
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:19,760
Speaker 2: you will fail. Instead, to see this endeavor as a

1792
01:23:19,840 --> 01:23:23,160
Speaker 2: test of your strength and conviction and recognize that victory

1793
01:23:23,320 --> 01:23:25,080
Speaker 2: is within your reach, but it's up to you to

1794
01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:25,960
Speaker 2: follow through.

1795
01:23:27,760 --> 01:23:30,519
Speaker 3: Discipline. Seems like that applies to you. I can see that,

1796
01:23:30,800 --> 01:23:31,439
Speaker 3: and see being the.

1797
01:23:31,479 --> 01:23:35,720
Speaker 2: Chariot, willpower, determination, Yeah, speaking your language, I like it.

1798
01:23:38,360 --> 01:23:40,599
Speaker 2: So we usually ask our guests before we leave if

1799
01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:43,960
Speaker 2: you have a horror story. We have a horror story.

1800
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:48,280
Speaker 2: And since you are one hundred percent former cheater, I'm

1801
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:51,880
Speaker 2: wondering if you have any hotels, any hiding women in closets,

1802
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:54,519
Speaker 2: throwing them off the balcony. I don't know anything like

1803
01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:58,519
Speaker 2: that that could possibly you could possibly share with our

1804
01:23:58,960 --> 01:23:59,679
Speaker 2: with our tribe.

1805
01:24:00,240 --> 01:24:04,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, very not. I'm not proud of some of these things.

1806
01:24:05,800 --> 01:24:07,439
Speaker 3: You got a role first, so you can heal later.

1807
01:24:07,479 --> 01:24:09,200
Speaker 1: They're part of the whole first, so you can heal later.

1808
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:12,160
Speaker 2: They're part of the journey. I got to tweet that, Yeah,

1809
01:24:12,479 --> 01:24:15,000
Speaker 2: make sure you're at the whole shirt that says it

1810
01:24:16,160 --> 01:24:16,960
Speaker 2: now later.

1811
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:20,200
Speaker 1: Ho now hell or he'll now.

1812
01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:23,800
Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes you hope first and you learn and then

1813
01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:24,200
Speaker 3: you heal.

1814
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:27,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, this is so bad.

1815
01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:32,080
Speaker 3: Are you afraid of yourself? Are you afraid of your horrors?

1816
01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:32,840
Speaker 3: Ways a little bit?

1817
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:34,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm not even I'm not even. I don't

1818
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:36,719
Speaker 1: even behave that way anymore. But I want to still

1819
01:24:36,760 --> 01:24:39,240
Speaker 1: feel like it's scary because yeah.

1820
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:39,960
Speaker 3: It's possibility.

1821
01:24:40,080 --> 01:24:44,920
Speaker 1: And also when when I first met with my kids mom,

1822
01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:47,360
Speaker 1: I didn't cheat like the first year and a half,

1823
01:24:47,479 --> 01:24:51,040
Speaker 1: like a long time, a married, short time, three years

1824
01:24:51,360 --> 01:24:52,840
Speaker 1: like that. But I was in the relationship of fourteen

1825
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,720
Speaker 1: so but until she put the pressure on me to

1826
01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:59,599
Speaker 1: move in, to move her in with me, I never

1827
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:01,360
Speaker 1: want to live with her. I thought we had a

1828
01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:03,719
Speaker 1: great thing going. I thought it was amazing, like because

1829
01:25:03,720 --> 01:25:05,360
Speaker 1: you can cheat, was cheating.

1830
01:25:06,240 --> 01:25:07,599
Speaker 2: I just thought it was like it killed.

1831
01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love the fact that I would go pick

1832
01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:12,080
Speaker 1: her up, I would stay to night some night, she

1833
01:25:12,120 --> 01:25:13,840
Speaker 1: would stay to nice with me some nights I love

1834
01:25:13,960 --> 01:25:17,040
Speaker 1: that whole idea of not having and it scared me.

1835
01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:19,920
Speaker 1: It made me feel like suffocated, Like I have to

1836
01:25:19,960 --> 01:25:21,479
Speaker 1: live with this person and I don't want to live

1837
01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:23,720
Speaker 1: with somebody right now. I'm just now starting to do

1838
01:25:23,920 --> 01:25:25,920
Speaker 1: well in life. I don't want to have to live

1839
01:25:26,000 --> 01:25:28,360
Speaker 1: with anybody right So I think that that's what the

1840
01:25:28,439 --> 01:25:31,160
Speaker 1: relationship represents for me. Now it's like, oh shit, that's

1841
01:25:31,240 --> 01:25:33,080
Speaker 1: a real commitment. I have to talk to this person

1842
01:25:33,160 --> 01:25:35,600
Speaker 1: every day. I have to make sure I do this.

1843
01:25:35,760 --> 01:25:38,640
Speaker 1: I have to I have to spend vacations with it,

1844
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,439
Speaker 1: I have to go. This is oh shit. And I

1845
01:25:40,560 --> 01:25:42,639
Speaker 1: like to be alone. I travel a lot by myself,

1846
01:25:42,960 --> 01:25:46,280
Speaker 1: you know, and I want to do that. I want

1847
01:25:46,320 --> 01:25:47,880
Speaker 1: to freedom to do that, you know what I mean.

1848
01:25:48,120 --> 01:25:50,720
Speaker 1: I talked to guys. They be like, yo, you out

1849
01:25:50,720 --> 01:25:54,160
Speaker 1: there by yourself? Like yeah, damn, that's just crazy.

1850
01:25:54,800 --> 01:25:56,120
Speaker 3: People are afraid of being alone.

1851
01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:58,080
Speaker 1: I think no. But I just think guys admired that

1852
01:25:58,200 --> 01:25:59,840
Speaker 1: the freedom that I have to be able to get

1853
01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:02,240
Speaker 1: up and just say all right, I'm gonna spend the weekend.

1854
01:26:02,680 --> 01:26:05,200
Speaker 1: You can get a round trip ticket to Costa Rica

1855
01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:07,280
Speaker 1: for two hundred and fifty dollars. You get upgraded for free.

1856
01:26:07,320 --> 01:26:11,639
Speaker 1: If you executive platinum on American you go to a villa,

1857
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:15,559
Speaker 1: a mansion villa in the forest for six hundred dollars

1858
01:26:15,600 --> 01:26:18,519
Speaker 1: a day. You stay three nights, that's eighteen hundred. All

1859
01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:21,360
Speaker 1: of that's two and a half grand that I spent

1860
01:26:21,520 --> 01:26:23,519
Speaker 1: in four days. And I could have went to dinner

1861
01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:26,280
Speaker 1: on the beach and spent that on dinner and going

1862
01:26:26,400 --> 01:26:28,960
Speaker 1: to a club afterwards, righting me buying drinks. So I

1863
01:26:29,040 --> 01:26:30,639
Speaker 1: look at that and I say, damn, it don't cost

1864
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:30,960
Speaker 1: me much.

1865
01:26:31,040 --> 01:26:33,160
Speaker 2: Let me go and I'll take coast experience.

1866
01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:34,479
Speaker 1: I go alone, and I can be able to have

1867
01:26:34,560 --> 01:26:36,200
Speaker 1: that expension and I have that type of fun. I

1868
01:26:36,280 --> 01:26:38,240
Speaker 1: do that a lot. Imagine you're in a relationship and

1869
01:26:38,280 --> 01:26:40,640
Speaker 1: you're explaining to this woman that you're dealing with, like

1870
01:26:40,680 --> 01:26:42,679
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to go to Costa Rica by myself.

1871
01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:45,879
Speaker 1: She's like, you go to Jocko exactly.

1872
01:26:48,320 --> 01:26:52,160
Speaker 3: That was personal. That was a personal Sorry I even

1873
01:26:52,200 --> 01:26:52,960
Speaker 3: attack you that way.

1874
01:26:53,360 --> 01:26:56,200
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of Costa Rica, you guys, we have just

1875
01:26:56,240 --> 01:26:59,760
Speaker 2: announced our next retreat in Costa Rica. If you haven't

1876
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:01,519
Speaker 2: checked out the Good Vibrra treat, We're going to Costa

1877
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:04,960
Speaker 2: Rica for New Year's that's December twenty eighth through January

1878
01:27:05,040 --> 01:27:06,720
Speaker 2: second this make sure you click the link in this

1879
01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:09,439
Speaker 2: episode description, you too can come alone and have a

1880
01:27:09,479 --> 01:27:12,320
Speaker 2: beautiful experience. I don't know about any AMEX cards you

1881
01:27:12,360 --> 01:27:14,280
Speaker 2: want to use, but if you have one or would

1882
01:27:14,280 --> 01:27:16,479
Speaker 2: you say, remember Class Executive.

1883
01:27:17,479 --> 01:27:18,080
Speaker 3: If you have one of.

1884
01:27:18,080 --> 01:27:21,880
Speaker 2: Those, you can use that too. But Rico, thank you

1885
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,479
Speaker 2: so much for coming on. This was so much fun.

1886
01:27:24,600 --> 01:27:27,000
Speaker 3: It was fun. Shout out to Chelsea for connecting us.

1887
01:27:27,439 --> 01:27:30,000
Speaker 3: PR Guru. Where can the.

1888
01:27:29,960 --> 01:27:30,519
Speaker 2: People find you?

1889
01:27:31,880 --> 01:27:34,639
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram at i am Rico Love, on Twitter

1890
01:27:34,720 --> 01:27:36,600
Speaker 1: at I am Reco Love, and.

1891
01:27:37,240 --> 01:27:39,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I say all right, We'll link everything in this

1892
01:27:39,240 --> 01:27:42,040
Speaker 2: episode description. Make sure you go and rate and review

1893
01:27:42,080 --> 01:27:45,439
Speaker 2: this episode. If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe, make sure

1894
01:27:45,439 --> 01:27:48,720
Speaker 2: you go follow the Good Vibra Treat. And if you

1895
01:27:48,840 --> 01:27:51,519
Speaker 2: want to get more juicy content that we don't release

1896
01:27:51,880 --> 01:27:53,519
Speaker 2: on the podcast, make sure you go check out our

1897
01:27:53,600 --> 01:27:57,200
Speaker 2: patreon that's patreon dot com, backslash, Good Mom's Bad Choices,

1898
01:27:58,439 --> 01:28:01,200
Speaker 2: and love you Bye Bye.

1899
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:27,160
Speaker 3: Y solo record Las