1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: Guess what will? What's that? Mango? So? I know Portlandia 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: has kind of mocked Portlands and the stereotypes mercilessly, but 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 1: can I just tell you about one thing that made 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: me fall in love with the city? Yeah, of course, 5 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: what's that? So the first time I was visiting, we 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: were staying at a friend's place in the city and 7 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: we decided to go downtown and Lizzie is big on 8 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: public transportation, so she made me take the bus. It 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: was the super rainy day and gray, but we got 10 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: on and we had this really long bus ride, so 11 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: we watched a lot of people get on and off 12 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: and here's what's amazing to me. Every single person who 13 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: got on the bus thanked the bus driver as they 14 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: got off. It like it was really amazing and so civil. 15 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: And that day was so gray and everyone could have 16 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: been miserable, but the fact that everyone, like this whole 17 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 1: group of people one by one, where each telling the 18 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: bus driver thank you for doing his job, I don't know, 19 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: it just made me so happy and it made me 20 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: want to thank the bus driver too. But it also 21 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: made me wonder, like, why isn't every other place in 22 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: the US like this? Why isn't this just the expected 23 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: behavior across the US? And of course, as you and 24 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: I both know, as full as the world is of 25 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: good people were also played with horrible internet commenters and 26 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 1: surly reality show judges and politicians who are anything but decent, 27 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: and it makes you wonder is the world getting ruder? 28 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: Do scientists really believe that rudeness spreads like an affection? 29 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,680 Speaker 1: And what can we do to change this tide? And 30 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: that's what we're talking about today. Let's dive in a 31 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: their podcast. Listeners, Welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm Will 32 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: Pearson and as always I'm joined by my good friend 33 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: man guest Ticketer and sitting on the soundproof booth sporting 34 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: his what's it say? I'm Bart Simpson. Who the heck 35 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: are you? T? Shirt? That's our pal and producer Christen McNeil. 36 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: That is one rude T shirt. You know, when when 37 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: The Simpsons first came out on the air and that 38 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: shirt came out in fifth grade, kids in my school 39 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: either had to turn their shirts around or put duct 40 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: tape over the word heck and uh, and then the 41 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: shirts got banned. Yeah, I remember parents thinking like these 42 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: kids today and shaking their heads but you know, actually 43 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: that's always been the case. Kids have always been rude, 44 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: and parents have always complained about it. And in fact, 45 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: we have the perfect person to chat with about that 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: and all things rude, the author of a new book. 47 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 1: F you very much understanding the culture of rudeness and 48 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: what we can do about it, Danny Wallace. Welcome to 49 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: Part Time Genius. Thank you very much, pleased to be here. So, Danny, 50 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: one of the most amazing things to me about the book, 51 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: and it is truly, truly wonderful. I'm just amazed that 52 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: it was inspired by a hot dog. Would you mind 53 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: telling us a little bit about that story? Of course? Um, yes, 54 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: it was. It was inspired by by hot dog. I 55 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,399 Speaker 1: like hot dogs. There's no crime in that, um, and 56 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: there was. There was one day where I really fancied 57 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: the hot dog, and my son wanted a hot dog 58 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: as well, and we found a place that sold hot 59 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: dogs advertised, you know, the hot dogs that it was selling. 60 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: So so really this should have been very, very easy, 61 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: and this is as long as the story should ever 62 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: have been. But I went inside to get the hot dog. Again, 63 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: I've done it before. I know what I'm doing. Um, 64 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: I go in and I asked for the hot dog. 65 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: But I don't know if you've ever walked in, it's 66 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: too I don't know, well anywhere really where it just 67 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: feels like the person behind the counter has already taken 68 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: against you somehow, And that's really how it felt. There 69 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: was something in the air, some sort of vibe, and 70 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: she made me pay up front, which I thought was unusual. 71 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: But you know, it wasn't just like a fast food thing. 72 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: It was a proper kind of little diner style restaurant 73 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: down by the seaside um. But you know, I did 74 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: everything that was required of me, and then I was 75 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: standing waiting for it, and she made us kind of 76 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: stand outside and kind of fifteen minutes passed, and that 77 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: seemed like the right amount of time to pass for 78 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: what should be a very quick meal to make for 79 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: me to go in and ask where it was. She 80 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: kept going, you don't understand how it works, and I 81 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 1: kept going, well, I do understand how it works. You know, 82 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: I had a hotdog, and you give me the hot dog, 83 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: and she keeps she keeps going, they're cooked to order. 84 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I ordered one and you 85 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: haven't cooked it. You know, I've been to restaurance before that, 86 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: that's how every restaurant works. And at one point she 87 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: ended up saying something very insulting, or at least it 88 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: sounded insulting. She she said, you're probably the sort of 89 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: people who'd queue up for forty minutes for fish and chips. Wow, 90 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: I I still be done. If they don't know what 91 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: that means. It struck to the very core of me 92 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: um and maybe question who I would I use forty 93 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: minutes official chips? I don't know. I don't know worry 94 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: em anymore. The reason I realized that I was kind 95 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: of going a bit mad with this and I was 96 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: obsessing over it because for a couple of days, like 97 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: when someone's been truly rude to you and they've broken 98 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: those rules, it's very confusing you and up quite bewildered. 99 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 1: It's why people can't often come up with something witty 100 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 1: to say in the moment. And because they disrespected you 101 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 1: or made you feel kind of publicly disrespected, you are 102 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: trying to claw back some of that respect somehow, And 103 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: so it kept going over and over in my head, 104 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: and you know, I'll be driving around and they'd be 105 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: like a lull in the conversation between me and my 106 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: wife and me and my son, and then out of nowhere, 107 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 1: I would just immediately go that woman was unbelievable, and 108 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,039 Speaker 1: just start talking about her again. And the next night 109 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: I drove past the diner and it was completely dark 110 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: and it was empty, and I found myself, as a 111 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: grown man, flipping off a diner and with no one 112 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: in it. There was nothing to be gained by doing it, 113 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: apart from my own sort of sanity. And that's when 114 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: I realized, you know, these these rude things that happened 115 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: to us, they they send us temporarily insane, I think, 116 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: and I wanted to find out why. I mean, I 117 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: think one of the amazing things about it is that 118 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 1: you actually write that rudeness is airborne and the passes 119 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: from person to person like a yarn. And I'd love 120 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: to hear you talk a little bit more about that. Yeah, well, 121 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: science has shown that that really rudeness does spread. It 122 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: is kind of contagious, and it kind of spreads throughout 123 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 1: an office or a school or a workplace or wherever 124 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: um in much the same way as the common cold. 125 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: So those people who were sitting there, shiny eyed, gleeful, watching, 126 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: you know, an altercation between a hot dog less man 127 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,719 Speaker 1: and the keeper of the hot dogs. When they saw 128 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: people being rude to each other without realizing it, they 129 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: will now sort of be infected. It will be much 130 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: easier for them to be rude later on in their day. 131 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: And when someone's being directly rude to you, and again 132 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: those unwritten rules kind of have been broken. Um. If 133 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: they've been rude to you, you're going to feel much 134 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: worse in yourself. It can affect um how you were 135 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: lacks after work. You won't be able to switch off 136 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: in quite the same way you might be snapp here 137 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 1: with your partner. Your downtime won't be as as downtimey 138 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: as you as you'd like it. Your rest period won't 139 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: be as RESTful as you'd like it. If you snap 140 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: at your partner, they now being infected and they'll then 141 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: take that rudeness elsewhere. Um. But anyone who even just 142 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: witnesses the rudeness will become primed for more rudeness. So, 143 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: for example, if you've seen someone you know in the 144 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: line for coffee this morning, be rude to the barista 145 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: even though it had nothing to do with you. Later 146 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: on in the day, because you've experienced that moment, and 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: it may have dredged up some kind of you memories 148 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: of rudeness for you, and feelings of being slightly on edge. 149 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: You're much more likely to now see rudeness where none 150 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: was intended. So you might get an email which is 151 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: perfectly neutral in tone, and yet you will be more 152 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: likely to read sarcasm into it or maybe passive aggression. Um, 153 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: and that person is completely oblivious. They just they put 154 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: a smiley there just to be nice. But you're like, 155 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: what is this smiley really me? So it kind of 156 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: puts us all on edge even just seeing it. So 157 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: I was recently on a train and I paid extra 158 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: to be on a quiet car, and this person came 159 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: in with their cell phone and just chatted the whole time. 160 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: And I just could not ignore the person, and uh, 161 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: personally because they were bragging about themselves continuously, but also 162 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: just because I couldn't avoid listening in. And you actually 163 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: have a section about half of ARDSCA. Can you talk 164 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: a little bit about cell phones and why they're so annoying? Yeah, 165 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: of course, Well, on one level, when we got onto 166 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 1: a train and we're in public space, UM, certainly I understand, Uh, 167 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: you know, my part, my rules. If I got a table, 168 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm not going to spread my stuff all over the table. 169 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: I understand I've got a little bit of the table. 170 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna, you know, shove my legs out right 171 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: in front of me, because I understand that person's got 172 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: their space. We all have these little instinctive moments of 173 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: respect that we pay to one another so that we 174 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 1: can all, you know, get along. And when someone stands 175 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: up and starts chatting away loudly on their phone and 176 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: knows that everyone else must be able to hear it, 177 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: they're sort of removing themselves from the group that they're saying, 178 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: you're a group. You you're all the group, but I'm special. 179 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: I'm having my phone call and they have their phone call. 180 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: And why it's so annoying for other people. If you have, 181 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: you know, two old ladies sitting, you know, in the 182 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: row behind you and they're just chatting away and laughing, 183 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 1: it's sort of fine because they're they're chatting and you 184 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: can hear the whole conversation. It might be annoying, but 185 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily rude. Why someone chatting on their phone 186 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: is impossible to ignore? Um and is is rude is 187 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,239 Speaker 1: because you can only hear that half of the conversation 188 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: that you're talking about behalf a log um. And the 189 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: human brain, no matter what you're trying to do, it's 190 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: always hungry for a story. It's always trying to solve, 191 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: you know, problems, it's trying to work stuff out. So 192 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: even if you're trying your best to ignore this person 193 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: having their chat, your brain is trying to fill in 194 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: the blanks. And and there's also the kind of the 195 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: staccato nature of a conversation. You're trying to get into 196 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 1: your flow, your rhythm wherever you do. When you're driving 197 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: and someone cuts you up, they disturb your flow. If 198 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: you're on a train and you're reading a book and 199 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: you have to read the same sentence nineteen times because 200 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: of the person having the chat, your flow has been interrupted. 201 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: And we feel that on some level that is always 202 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: quite a rude thing. But the random nature of replies 203 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: on a one sided conversation, because you don't know how 204 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: long the other guy is gonna talk for. You know, 205 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: you might do a one word answer, you might you 206 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,719 Speaker 1: might you talk for ten minutes and you'll just here 207 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,719 Speaker 1: a man going hard the whole time. So because it's 208 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 1: completely unpredictable, it's another reason that we find it impossible 209 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: to ignore and hugely annoying. But the rudeness certainly comes 210 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,079 Speaker 1: from removing yourself from the group and going no one 211 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: here matters. I'm talking to Nigel. He's had a hair transplant. 212 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: Stay right there, more with Danny Wallace right after this break. 213 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Part Time Genius. We're talking to Danny Wallace. 214 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: You know, one of the most amazing stories in your 215 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: book is about a politician in Colombia who decided to 216 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: fight rudeness, and to fight rudeness with mimes of all things, 217 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: and I was hoping you could talk a little bit 218 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, this is a guy stumbled across named 219 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: Anthonys Marcus who is either the craziest politician in the 220 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: world or some kind of genius. And I think he's 221 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: some kind of genius because he takes problems and he's 222 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 1: sort of he comes up with what seem on paper 223 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 1: to be insane ideas, insane solutions, and yet they seem 224 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: to work. And this is a guy who had been 225 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: kind of in charge like the chancellor thing or directorally university. 226 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: At Bogata University, Um, and there was like there was 227 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: kind of some student unrest one day and there were 228 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: hundreds and hund of the students all shouting, and he 229 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: was on the stage and he was trying to calm 230 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: them down, and they would not be calm him. They 231 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: would not listen, they would not give him the time 232 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: of day, and no matter what he did on that microphone, 233 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 1: they wouldn't shut up. And so he very calmly walked 234 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: to the front of the stage, undid his belt, turned around, 235 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: pulled down his trousers, and showed the world his ass, 236 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 1: at which point every student was kind of silent and 237 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: slacked George. No one knew why he was doing this. 238 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: Had he gone mad, you know? Was he protesting their 239 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: rudeness or was he being rude himself? And it was 240 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 1: a massive scandal and every sort of newspaper was talking 241 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: about it. Everyone was disgusted at his behavior. How could 242 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: he act that way? It was so rude, Um, And 243 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: he ended up having to leave his job. But because 244 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: he had done this current crazy thing, he was now 245 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 1: in the public kind of consciousness. So when he then 246 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: ran for there at a time when Bogutar was seen 247 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: as pretty much the most um chaotic, let's stay city 248 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: in the world, and there was corruption left right and center. 249 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: They felt that this was a guy they could trust. 250 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 1: So he was, you know, put into power. But crucially, 251 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: because he didn't owe anyone any favors, he could get 252 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: rid of everyone that he felt was potentially corrupt and 253 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: instead bring in a bunch of his friends, all of 254 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: whom had crazy ideas like him. And they looked at 255 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: the city and they saw what was going on, and 256 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: they saw that people were driving in considerately, They were 257 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 1: mounting the sidewalks, they were jaywalking left right and center. 258 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: They were being incredibly loud when when they shouldn't have been, 259 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: you know, um, And he just thought, right, what do 260 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: we do here? And just as you say, he did 261 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: something a bit crazy, which was that he got rid 262 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: of the vast majority of the notoriously corrupt traffic police 263 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: and he replaced them with minds, so actual minds. So 264 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 1: people dressed in black, the traditional white gloves, their faces 265 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 1: painted white. And he just unleashed this army of minds 266 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: onto the streets and said, find rude behavior, find bad behavior, 267 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: and call it out. So if you were someone who 268 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: was saying jaywalking and there was traffic. You know, you're 269 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: putting people in danger and you're doing what you shouldn't 270 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: be doing. You might look behind you and find five 271 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: or six mins who are copying you and mocking your walk, 272 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: completely in front of the whole world, and it would 273 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: make you think twice about doing that again. Or if 274 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: you'd part your car somewhere where you weren't allowed to 275 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: park your car, you might suddenly find loads and loads 276 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: of minds surrounding your car, just pointing at you and 277 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: shaking their heads. And what it did was it made 278 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: people accountable for their actions, but it also showed everybody 279 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: else that, look, there's people on your side. So these 280 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: rude people they're not being because you know, we're just 281 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: letting them anymore. They're breaking the rules, and we are 282 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 1: sort of shaming them, but in a playful but powerful way. 283 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: And the public started to join in, and he had 284 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 1: more and more schemes that didn't just involve minds. I 285 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: mentioned people being loud. You know, there might be playing 286 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: there I guess back then their boom boxes and their 287 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: disco music or whatever it was about. Then, you know, 288 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: loudly on the train, and suddenly a bunch of fellows 289 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: dressed up as benedicting monks would get on um, you 290 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,760 Speaker 1: know and just put their fingers to their lips just 291 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 1: to sort of highlights you know, their their their vow 292 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: of silence and how you were impinging upon it. So 293 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: there's all these kind of it was almost like almost 294 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: like kind of weird hidden camera moments, except no one 295 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: was really filming it. It was just there to show 296 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: the public. Look, we understand there's a way to behave 297 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: and we're going to help you, and we're gonna puncture 298 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: the kind of the aggression underneath it that it normally 299 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: goes to and and we're going to show that that 300 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: you've got people on your side. And it worked to 301 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: an astounding degree. You know, even homicides went down, um, 302 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: just thanks to a series of kind of quite playful 303 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: things and and and crucially um people offered to pay 304 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: more tax just because the mayor said, listen to be 305 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: really lovely if you would offer to pay more tax. 306 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: So it just showed that people were hungry for a 307 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: non rude world. But it felt like that chance had 308 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: been lost at a time when Bogitar had gone crazy, 309 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: and it just took one crazy guy to turn this around. 310 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: That's really such an incredible story. So I do want 311 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: to get back to a little bit of how rudeness 312 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: affects us. And I know in one part you talk 313 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: about how, um, rudeness can sort of curb people's creativity, 314 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: But I was also curious how rudeness can actually be 315 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: dangerous in a medical context. When you talk a little 316 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 1: bit about that. Yeah, of course, UM, well, when someone 317 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: has been unnecessarily rude to you, UM, it really does 318 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,719 Speaker 1: affect your brain, affects the frontal loads, which is responi 319 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 1: was responsible for kind of working memory and whatever the 320 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: task at hand is um, And studies were done that 321 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 1: showed that, yes, absolutely, it doesn't make people less creative. 322 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: So people were kind of surprised by rudeness um, and 323 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: then set simple tasks. They didn't realize that the rudeness 324 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: was kind of part of it, so it would happen 325 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,640 Speaker 1: on the way into the experiment. But the people who 326 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: had experienced rudeness found themselves far less able to, for example, 327 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,679 Speaker 1: come up with very simple anagrams or creative uses for 328 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: a brick that was my favorite. Um. So they just 329 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: couldn't come up with as many ideas as other people could. 330 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: The people who hadn't experienced any rudeness whatsoever. And it's 331 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: been sort of shown time and time again just how 332 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: much this affects us. I mean, there were studies done, 333 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: I think in the seventies that showed that even just 334 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,880 Speaker 1: a loud noise changes we are and how much empathy 335 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: we have. So if you had an old woman at 336 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: the top of some stairs and to have shopping bag 337 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: is broken and all her shopping is tumbling down the 338 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: stairs and oranges and tin cans, but our instinct is 339 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: to run to her and to help her. But the 340 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: science has shown that if someone nearby, and this is 341 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: the crazy bit, if someone nearby is doing some gardening 342 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,439 Speaker 1: and has quite a lowed lawnmower, it affects us in 343 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: such a way that we are much less likely to 344 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: go and run to that woman's aid, because part of 345 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: our brain is dealing with what's going on over here. 346 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: So it's much the same when it comes to rudeness. 347 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: Part of your brain is coping with that. And where 348 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: it becomes very dangerous isn't when you're like a rioter 349 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 1: who hasn't been served the hot dog. It's much more 350 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: when you have a position of you know, real authority 351 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,360 Speaker 1: or responsibility over other people's lives. So there were studies 352 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: done in Tel Aviv with a bunch of surgeons, three 353 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: groups of surgeons, and one of the groups in particular 354 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: was told that while they were doing their simulated surgery 355 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: on a on a on an infant um, they were 356 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: going to be observed by a medical professional from America. 357 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: And when that medical professional came over on Skype to 358 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 1: say hello to them, he was just very rude. He 359 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,920 Speaker 1: was very dismissive. He said he had no real respect 360 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: for the medicinal community in the in Tel Aviv, and 361 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: that you know, he wishes them well. Nonetheless, and when 362 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 1: they went and did their surgery um, it was shown 363 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: afterwards by an independent group that that team, in particular, 364 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 1: those bunch of surgeons who had experienced rudeness, became less 365 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 1: effective at the surgery they were doing. They didn't communicate well, 366 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: they picked up the wrong instruments. They would become fixated 367 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: on the original diagnosis, so that if something changed that 368 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: was really obvious, they would kind of ignore it because 369 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: they couldn't deal with it at that time. They didn't 370 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 1: resascitate properly, and essentially, the infant in the simulation would 371 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 1: have died had it been an actual of surgery. So 372 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: that's when you start to see that, you know, rudeness 373 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: which cuts to the very core of who we are 374 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: and makes us feel disrespected and confuses us and bewilders 375 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: us in those situations, and that's when big accidents can happen, 376 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: medical errors can happen. It's been shown that truck drivers 377 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,400 Speaker 1: with rude dispatches miss more stop science. Um so anyone, 378 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: you know, if you have an airline pilot, you know, 379 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: at least when they've had a drink, you know, you 380 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: can you can sort of see their glassy eyes or 381 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: see them sway around. But there's there are no clues 382 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: when it comes to rudeness and what someone may have 383 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: just experienced. And and that's when when I was writing 384 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: the book, I started to realize just how dark this 385 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: can kind of get. Because we've always found rudeness to 386 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: be quite amusing and we love, you know, rude people 387 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: in sitcoms, whether it's Basil Faulty or the Supernancy or whatever, 388 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,360 Speaker 1: and we love changing stories, you know, about rudeness, but 389 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: we don't really appreciate that it is genuinely a silent killer. 390 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: If if someone's been rude to a doctor in the morning, 391 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: it can affect the next five patients. So suddenly you 392 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,479 Speaker 1: start to see how it can affect all of us. 393 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: And when you've got the world's rudist man in the 394 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: in the world's most powerful position, um, then you start 395 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: to have problems. Yeah, it's a well, those are all 396 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: scary situations. Though I don't think you should minimize the 397 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: hot dog thing. I still can't get over that you 398 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: didn't get a hot dog for an hour in a minute, 399 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 1: but it will stay with you for quite some time 400 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: gractually of that day. You know. There there is a 401 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: great story in the beginning of the book about someone 402 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 1: who joins ISIS and is put off by the rudeness 403 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: of that movement. And now obviously ISIS isn't something that 404 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: we laugh about. But but honestly, that story was so funny. 405 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 1: Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, 406 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: This was This was a fellow who who decided to 407 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 1: flee Britain Omar's saying, and he left his job as 408 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: a I think he was a security gardener's supermarket, and 409 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 1: he fled for the for the deserts where he could 410 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: train with with isis and and really I put the 411 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: story in to show that, you know, we all have 412 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 1: different standards, were all quite different people, um, and yet 413 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: there are some things that unite almost everyone. Because he 414 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 1: had gone he fled to the desert in order to 415 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: essentially help bring down the very sort of tenets of 416 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 1: Western civilization UM and do kind of unspeakable things and 417 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: train for atrocities. But when he got there, he just 418 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: found himself constantly annoyed because this this great brotherhood that 419 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 1: he'd expected of people that thought like him and wanted 420 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:47,560 Speaker 1: to attack the West. Sometimes would just unplug his phone 421 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 1: and steal his phone charger for a while, which he 422 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: thought was one step too far even for Ices. Or 423 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: sometimes they'd sort of he'd take his shoes off to 424 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 1: have a prey and then he'd be like, wearing my 425 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: shoes and he'd look up and there'd be another this 426 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: member who just taking his shoes, and he was like, 427 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: this is this is not what I joined Ices for. 428 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: You know, we've got to standards here. And he would 429 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 1: make dinner for them sometimes and he'd just be like, 430 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: can you all just pipe down because all like grabbing 431 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: at the food, and he's like, we're gonna have a 432 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 1: system here, and he was just basically he was very 433 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 1: disappointed at how immature, um, and how bad he brought 434 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: up a lot of terrorists seemed to be these days. Um. 435 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,719 Speaker 1: And it just made me think that, you know, even 436 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: a man in this situation who has turned his back 437 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,159 Speaker 1: on all sorts of Western conventions and all sorts of 438 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: standards of treating each other, even he can find himself 439 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: annoyed at the kind of the minor injustices and sort 440 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,280 Speaker 1: of everyday monsters of polite society. You got it. You 441 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: gotta do other lines somewhere, you know, Yeah, yeah, exactly. 442 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 1: I wouldn't last five minutes. And iis I'll tell you 443 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 1: you do talk a little bit about a rudeness vaccine 444 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: that they were testing on doctors, and what exactly would 445 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: that involved. Well, it was great because this was just 446 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: like a passing comment that one of the scientists that 447 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: I talked to said. And his name is a mere Errors, 448 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: and I think he's great. And there's a bunch of them. 449 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: There's a bunch of these sort of like me, rudeness nerds, 450 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 1: kind of like sculpting about the shadows, sort of stemp 451 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 1: in their little feet and going, why can't everything be better? Um? 452 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,919 Speaker 1: And Amir entered into sort of rudeness studies, if you like, 453 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: um by thinking it was nonsense. He he just thought, 454 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,360 Speaker 1: you know, rudeness doesn't have an effect on anybody. It's 455 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 1: just just a thing. It's just a thing that happens 456 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: in your day. And he started to look into it, 457 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: almost like just as a bet with one of his colleagues. 458 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 1: And he told me, he said, every time I look 459 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: into it, I find something else. And what I usually 460 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: find is shocking. Um. And we were talking about the 461 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,640 Speaker 1: doctor's thing and the idea that you know, like I say, 462 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,479 Speaker 1: someone being rude to a doctor doesn't just affect you know, 463 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: the next person the doctor sees, but five people, um, 464 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: you know, in in a in a in a row 465 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 1: can be affected, according to the studies, by a moment 466 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 1: of rudeness. And I said to him, you know, it's 467 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: a silent killer. It's a sort of you know, we 468 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: we we need to be taking this a bit more seriously. Uh. 469 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: And and he just sort of threw it away, this 470 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 1: this idea that he said, you know, we're sort of 471 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: working in a vaccine and I was like, what were 472 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: you talking about? A vaccine, And it's kind of a 473 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 1: video game that doctors can play at the very start 474 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: of their day before anyone has even thought about being 475 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,119 Speaker 1: rude to them. So it's almost like and the Inoculation 476 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: and they play this game and they're still working on it. 477 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: But however, it works and whatever it does helps to 478 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,639 Speaker 1: sort of free up those frontal lobes that often, like 479 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 1: I say, get bogged down in the rudeness of things. 480 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,919 Speaker 1: So I suppose it just protects them, and whatever mental 481 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: exercises it puts these doctors through just helps them too. 482 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 1: I suppose take a breath or perhaps take a step 483 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 1: back from the situation. Um. So I can't wait to 484 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 1: find out more about it. That they're going to be 485 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: starting more studies. But it does show that a rudeness 486 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: is being taken seriously and be steps are being made 487 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 1: to to help us all deal with it. Um. Because 488 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: you know when every time you get in a car, 489 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: you know you're a dangerous a situation escalating. Well, we've 490 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: got several more questions for you, Danny, but we'll be 491 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 1: right back with Part Time Genius after the break. Welcome 492 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 1: back to Part Time Genius. We're talking to Danny Wallace 493 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,479 Speaker 1: the author of f you very much understanding the culture 494 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 1: of rudeness and what we can do about it. So 495 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you about Internet urals because we 496 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: started a blog very early, uh at our former jobs 497 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: and and it was sort of this warm and welcoming 498 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: culture of people who read the posts and stuff, and 499 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: it slowly grew into more of an aggressive community and 500 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 1: more people who are more liberated to be trolley. And 501 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: so our explanation was always it really is the anonymity 502 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: of this that that people are just you know, at 503 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: home behind their screens. But you have a bit of 504 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: a tweaked reason for it. Could you explain that? Yeah, 505 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 1: I think we've always traditionally said, you know, it's it's 506 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 1: the anonymity of the Internet that is that is the problem. 507 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: And certainly, um it is quite free. UM it allows um, 508 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 1: you know, the anonymity, and in a sense it is 509 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing because in the early days it meant 510 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: that people who, for example, UM, felt uncomfortable coming out 511 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,920 Speaker 1: could could find other people like them but didn't feel 512 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 1: that they were risking anything at that at that point, 513 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 1: and they could they could find other people like them 514 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 1: who were at the same point in time and encourage 515 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: at each other, and it was seen as quite you know, 516 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,719 Speaker 1: it was a great thing. And then of course the 517 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 1: rise of of the of the trolls, it just made 518 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: us immediately think, well, actually, anonymity is a terrible thing. 519 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,679 Speaker 1: What studies have shown is really it's a lack of 520 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: eye contact that is the huge problem. Um. I was 521 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 1: talking earlier about how difficult it is to have, you know, 522 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 1: the looking glass held up to you if you're a 523 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,120 Speaker 1: rude person, because you you see yourself through the eyes 524 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: of others. That's why it's also very difficult for people 525 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: to be certainly as rude to each other faces, because 526 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: you're there's something called the looking glass self, which is 527 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: we are always looking into the eyes of others for 528 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 1: how we are coming across. Does this person like me? 529 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: Have I offended them? How am I doing you know 530 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: in life in their eyes? Um And a lack of 531 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: eye contact with with the internet means that people can 532 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 1: be free to be as rude as they want. Again, 533 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 1: tests were done in hyper I think in Israel, where 534 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: they had an office full of people and some of 535 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: them were made to just sit opposite the person they 536 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: had to kind of work with, and some had to 537 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: use like instant messenger or something to to to work 538 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: together with people. And they found far and away that 539 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: the people who would be much more aggressive with each 540 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: other were the ones who simply couldn't see each other. 541 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: So you know, it's it's there is a certain freedom 542 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 1: in in the anonymity, but I would say there's much 543 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: more freedom and in knowing that person just can't see you. 544 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: I know that you referred to a certain politician and 545 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 1: some celebrity judges and Basil Faulty. And why do you 546 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: think it is that we are so attracted to rudeness. Well, 547 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: I think we're at a point where rudeness it's sort 548 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: of helping people achieve strange ambitions. Rudeness more than ever 549 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: is everywhere, and it's getting worse, and it tumbles from 550 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: our phones. And every time we switch on the TV, um, 551 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:06,239 Speaker 1: two people who are pretending to be journalists having a fight, um, uh, 552 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: you know about whatever has just happened on cable news, 553 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 1: and then they bring in another person, uh, and and 554 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: it just feels angrier and narrower and coarser, And everyone's 555 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: got to have an opinion on everything all the time, 556 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 1: even if they know nothing about the thing they're trying 557 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: to say, they've got the opinion on, and the opinion 558 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 1: has to be put in in a very short and 559 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 1: forthright way to cut through the noise of everyone else's 560 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 1: opinions and must then be broadcast to everybody else because 561 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: we're all so important. Um, the people on reality TV shows, 562 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: it's just taught us that meanness should be rewarded because 563 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: they're the people who make the edit. Um, the highest 564 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 1: paid talent judges are always the mean ones. Um. So 565 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 1: everywhere we turn, we're being kind of tall that that 566 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: to be rude, to be to lack empathy in a 567 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: in a sense, um, it is a good thing. You know, 568 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 1: journalists find they get more clicks if if if they 569 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 1: if they write the horrible thing in a horrible way. Um. 570 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 1: So so it I sort of felt this kind of 571 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: this ground swell, and it came at a time where 572 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: you know, like Trump for example, UM yeah, a lot 573 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: of what he ran on was this this kind of 574 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: mavericks sort of. I tell it like it is. I'm 575 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: only being honest. I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. 576 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 1: And and those are all things that came from reality 577 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 1: TV as well. You know, all these people are going, 578 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 1: I just tell it like it is. I'm a truth teller. 579 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's refreshing. You can't argue with it. And really, 580 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: when these people say they're being honest, they're not being 581 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: honest at all. They're just putting forward an opinion, but 582 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: saying it's just honest. It's like it's get out clause, 583 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: because we're suddenly not allowed to argue with you if 584 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: you're being honest, and in fact, we've got to all 585 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: stand around and applaud you for being so brave as 586 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 1: to be honest. And so, for whatever reason, Reality TV 587 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,720 Speaker 1: Online personas the rise of powerful rude people. Um, we're 588 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:05,480 Speaker 1: kind of being taught again and again that rudeness works 589 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: and politeness is weak. I think that's the thing now 590 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 1: thinking about it, I think that's what I'm getting at, 591 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: is that we see manners as weakness, and we see 592 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: empathy as weakness, and we see rudeness of strength. Well, actually, 593 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 1: along those lines, you talk about the possibility of empathy 594 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: training in schools and how it could help teenagers at 595 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: that stage in their lives. I mean, what would that 596 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: look like? Do you think, well, yeah, it's a strange one. 597 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, part of me kind of books 598 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 1: at phrases like that kind of empathy training because it 599 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 1: just sounds so wishy washy and sort of a bit nonsensical. 600 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: It's like, how can you train for empathy? Um And 601 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 1: Yet people have sort of shown in in in studies 602 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: that it sort of can be taught, and it can 603 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,479 Speaker 1: be exercised like a muscle, you know, it can be 604 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 1: grown in people. And I suppose it's just highlighting um. 605 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 1: You know here basically it boils down to this rudeness 606 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: is just kind of ignoring how another person feels and 607 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 1: just doing what you feel, no matter who gets hurt. 608 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: And politeness tends to be a system I've sort of 609 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 1: shared empathy. You know, I think etiquette is so outdated, 610 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: but politeness is really the main thing. And that just means, 611 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 1: you know, you're slightly happier when someone says please you, 612 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 1: You feel seen when someone says thank you. If you 613 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: hold a door open just for a couple of seconds 614 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: for someone who's you know, struggling with some bags, you 615 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 1: both feel better for it. Um and And these are 616 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 1: things that we learn instinctively and we have used for millennia, 617 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: and it's a system that works. Um And you know, 618 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: I think that that turning our back on that empathy 619 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: is is a bad thing. I'm not sure I would, 620 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: you know, I we would need empathy training in schools. 621 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: But but for the kids. But perhaps m I don't know, 622 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: perhaps perhaps just highlighting how people are seen through the 623 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,840 Speaker 1: eyes of others as a good thing, which essentially is 624 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: what the guy in Columbia was doing. You know, he 625 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 1: was holding a looking glass up to those people like 626 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: almost sort of you know it sort of isn't the 627 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 1: looking glass of mime, isn't it? Because the mind was 628 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,839 Speaker 1: mimicking them and showing them what they were doing, So 629 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,480 Speaker 1: it was kind of a mobile mirror. And when you 630 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,799 Speaker 1: see your own actions through the eyes of others and 631 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 1: how you're coming across, that's when you tend to change 632 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 1: your behavior. But it's such a strange but but interesting idea. 633 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 1: And honestly, even the idea that a mime or god forbid, 634 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 1: multiple mimes might show up if I do something rude, 635 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:52,759 Speaker 1: would probably influence my behavior anyway. Yeah, well, we all 636 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:58,200 Speaker 1: know what we're getting you for your birthdays. Well, Danny, 637 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,319 Speaker 1: this has been a ton of fun, not it all. 638 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,400 Speaker 1: I'm so happy about how polite we've all been to 639 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: one another today. You've you've been, You've been absolutely wonderful. 640 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: We should be very proud. Thank you very much, and 641 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 1: I hope all of our listeners will check out the book. 642 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,400 Speaker 1: It's f you very much understanding the culture of rudeness 643 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 1: and what we can do about it. But Danny, thanks 644 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:33,160 Speaker 1: so much for being on the program. Thanks thanks again 645 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,359 Speaker 1: for listening. Part Time Genius is a production of how 646 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,239 Speaker 1: stuff works and wouldn't be possible without several brilliant people 647 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: who do the important things we couldn't even begin to understand. 648 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,080 Speaker 1: Tristan McNeil does the editing thing. Noel Brown made the 649 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: theme song and does the MIXI mixy sound thing. Jerry 650 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,799 Speaker 1: Rowland does the exact producer thing. Gave Bluesier is our 651 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: lead researcher, with support from the Research Army including Austin Thompson, 652 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,839 Speaker 1: Nolan Brown and Lucas Adams and Eve Jeff Cook gets 653 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: the show to your ears. Good job, Eves. If you 654 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,839 Speaker 1: like what you heard, we hope you'll subscribe, And if 655 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 1: you really really like what you've heard, maybe you could 656 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,800 Speaker 1: leave a good review for us. Did you did you 657 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,279 Speaker 1: forget Jason who